Conditioner

by Liquid Truth

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Random, Sweetie Belle
Length: 1123

It's okay to think about stuff while you're in a shower. Just don't overthi--you just did, didn't you?

It's okay to think about stuff while you're in a shower. Just don't overthink or you might end up following an endless train of thought and why is it called a train and not something else?

Wait, if it is called a train, then it must be made by the time it already existed, which means that it wasn't very long ago but that should've been obvious because Ponish sounds very different just a few decades ago! If I got back in time even just before my grandmother was born, I would sound silly just like how the opposite is true if my great grandmother went forward in time to now!

...I did not see that coming. I should really try to sing in the shower like usual. Oh, and try to do better paragraphing because that previous one contains too many main ideas. But why should a paragraph contain only one main idea?

Turns out her train of thought is wrong

Published 2019-01-04 09:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-01-04 09:20:01 UTC

What would be a good name for a chapter?

Chapters names from books should've been good, right? I mean, think about it.

So, if I have a book, and I don't read books that often, then that book must be a good book, right? Because otherwise, I wouldn't think about buying that book, and anypony who bought a book for me must know about good books, right? I mean, if she or he is close to me, they would know that I don't read books often and wouldn't buy me a book. So, if she or he buys me one, it must be because she or he likes books and don't understand that not everypony likes what she or he likes.

Wait, is that even a thing that everypony does, or is it just me?

Oh, no, what if all the things I've thought about are wrong? What if they're just things that I experience and nopony else does? What if all the bad things I've thought about everypony aren't what exactly happened at all?

But what if everypony thinks that way? What if, when earlier today I thought Scootaloo is in love with Rumble but keeps denying it because she's too embarrassed but it's okay because if she's not then it would be awkward for the both of them and they won't end up with each other because the real world doesn't work like in Rarity's old cheap romance novels...

Wait, how did I end up there? What was I thinking before? Argh, I forgot! Well, fine. Maybe it will come after I put on some soap.

Why did I think using soap can make me remember? Where's the logic behind it? It doesn't make any sense!

There must be a reason for me to think like that, right? A stimulus that makes me make a connection between putting on some soap and remembering what I was thinking about.

But why do we tend to make assumptions like that? Why do we like to make connections between things that don't have connections? Is it because that's how we learn about stuff, by making connections on things that we already know? But if that's so, then how about babies? They don't know about anything. If they don't know about anything, then there won't be anything to make connections with. Is it just the way we are programmed to learn about stuff and that babies actually have knowledge about some things implanted in our DNA as according to Dare Win?

Programmed. We might as well be programmed to do stuff we are currently doing. Maybe the program was there since the beginning of life. Whatever the beginning of life might be.

Wait, where do we start saying that something is alive? There must be, at one point in time, where there weren't any life, and then suddenly life appeared. How did that happen? Is life just some sort of complex sequences of chemical reactions that want to stay existing; to stay in a loop of doing reactions between chemical ingredients that makes them gather more chemical ingredients to further react with?

If that is so, and we switch everything biological with artificial stuff, is that a living thing as well? What if I switched my bones with metal, my nervous system with wires, my blood vessels with tubes, my skin with synthetic clothing, and my magical nodes with enchanted gems? Am I still considered a living being? If yes, then what if I make a robot that can multiply itself, gather stuff to keep itself multiplying, and defend itself so that nothing will stop it from multiplying? Is that basically the same as bacteria and viruses?

Gotta use a shampoo. I've been on the bath long enough, I should hurry.

Ooh, that's right, I was thinking about Scootaloo and Rumble and how I can see that they're made for each other but then again it was me speculating and I don't really have any reliable experience to have any reference from!

Ok, let's see. They are cute together and Scootaloo keeps on denying that she likes Rumble. Hey, if I really want to know if what I thought about them was what everypony also thought about them, should I take another example out of myself?

Ok, let's see. Who does Scootaloo keep on shipping me with? Button Mash. But I don't like him. I don't really have that feeling that I always want to be with him or that having him around makes me feel nice or-

Hold on, did I just deny that I like Button Mash? Did I just do exactly like what Scootaloo had done? Am I actually in love with Button Mash? Or, maybe, both of us really don't like them? What if Scootaloo is correct by stating that she doesn't like Rumble and the same applies to me?

What is love, anyhow? Is it just a chemical reaction in our brains that triggers our desire to reproduce and when our mind says that 'Hey, that pony looks cute. I think I like him,' is just Nature's way to say that 'That pony is the most likely to have an offspring that lives the longest and whose offspring would be the most likely to live the longest whose offspring would be the most likely to live the longest ad infinitum'?

If that's so, then is Button Mash really is the most likely to keep my descendants exist? And, if that's so, then would the most logical thing to do is to take Button as my groom? Is that the true meaning of life, to simply keep on existing? Is our quest of searching for a cutie mark just a perfect illusion made by our genetics so to satisfy our psychological needs and not stress out and eventually stop functioning correctly which might lead to us to not be considered a mutual mate by the opposite sex because stress is a symptom of low satisfied needs that are essential for the sustainability of our species as a whole because we are simply accidents made by time in this small speck of dust in the infinite universe that is too stubborn to stop existing and--

Wait, facial soap isn't supposed to feel like this. Oh, right, this is the conditioner. No wonder it felt weird; it's supposed to be in my mane, not my face.

When did I pour down the conditioner on my hoof? I don't even remember using the shampoo. Wait, have I used the shampoo in the first place?

Sigh. I need to concentrate at least a little bit on my tasks. Why did I think thinking is better than singing?

At least my face feels soft now.