The Soul Reaver

Chapter 30: Run to The Hills

I walked calmly through the street, trying to find what all the commotion is with those two streaks I saw. If I think back to it, one looked human shaped... I think it was the yellow one that did the most. Must be another wraith if that's the case. Nodding to myself, I make my way to where there seems to be a large crowd gathering. I poke one of the ponies, "What's going on?" I ask him.

He looks at me with excitement, "A race between Cerulean Shield an a human! It looks like the human's winning!" Hm. I nod in thanks, and make my way through the crowd. I look and see the streaks getting closer. I guess this is the homestretch, cuz' they seem to be going faster than before. I watched as they drew closer to what I guessed was the finish line, and I felt myself grin when the kid managed to cross it before the pegasus. I'll admit, that was pretty good. When everything was done, I noticed that he saw me.

I guess I should congratulate the guy. I saw him walk over to me, and being the cool guy I am, I do a quick little bow and hold out my hand for him to shake it. "Nice race kid." I said with a grin.

However, he decided that he would be a dumbass instead, and punched me right in the face. The punch... was laughable.

Yeah he done goofed.

"Kid?" I asked, venom dripping from my voice. The kid actually began sweating! Wow, am I that terrifying?

“That... was for s-scaring my friend yesterday with your crazy, madman assault on Jav.” I began to smirk, this kid just went and pissed me off at the wrong time. After dealing with that piece of shit in Sarah's mind, I'm feeling rather violent right now.

Well, if you expect an apology, you’re going to have to look somewhere else.” I suddenly kicked him in the side of the head, sending him flying into a street shop. "Because right now, you just went and pissed me off!” He pulled himself out of the rubble and glared at me as he cracked his neck.

"Then I guess I’ll just have to force it out of you.” He charged at me to land a punch, but he was easy to dodge. Seriously, he has no form and no speed to his punches.

"Kis, you're going to have to try harder." I taunt him as I dodge another punch. Why doesn't he just try to kick me? That would at least break the monotony. Oh look, he did! I dodged that one by leaning back some.

“Stop, Fucking, DODGING!!!” He seems upset.

“Nope. Infernal Rapture!" He landed on the ground with a solid thud. when he got up, he looked at me with a glare.

"Oh, So it’s going to be like that eh? Fine then!” He slammed his hands together and formed a ball of light between them, "Light Puppets! Attack my minions!"

Seriously? The ball split into copies of me. I couldn't help but laugh. “Oh come on now! You seemed smarter a second ago!” he pulled out a hilt of a sword and disappeared. I then warped all around, cutting down all of the copies.

I appeared on top of a building, and looked down at him. He seemed to be looking for me. Hm, may as well show myself. I jumped down, and landed a kick to the back of his head, making him fly across the ground and land on his back. I walked over to him casually, and then stomped on his arm, preventing him from getting up. “You know kid, I was just trying to be nice. Then you had to go and antagonize me by cold-cocking me in the face.” I pressed harder on his arm, making him wince, “I for one don’t appreciate being attacked unprovoked.”

I then felt something small try to tackle my leg. I looked and saw the little brown colt from earlier. “Stop being mean to Mr. James!”

Hm. This kid has some gut. I stared long and hard at him, before sighing. “Look, you’re friend here attacked me first. He told me that I scared you from earlier, and while I do regret that (slightly), I’m not apologizing for beating the shit out of him.”

“Ah don’t want an apology! Ah want ya to stop hurtin’ him!” He was tearing up and staring up at me. Oh god dammit, I hate it when they do that.... I've had to deal with the crusaders pulling that crap off, and it sucked! Do you have any idea how hard it is to resist it!?

I paused for a moment before sighing again, “Give me a second.” I then stomped on his arm hard enough to dislocate a bone. Before he could yell in pain, I put it back in place. “Now we’re even dumbass.” I growled as I picked him up.

“I deserved that...”

I then punched me upside the head and smacked him in the face.

“...and that as well.”

I then enclosed my fist on his nose and smacked it down, Oh my god, it's like hurting a stooge! This is way too much fun!

He gave me a deadpan stare and popped his neck. “Okay now, that’s pushing it.”

“Oh this is way too much fun...” I snickered.

He sighed as he said the next few words that would inspire anus-puckering terror in me.. “Well at least you’re not Amy. She’d have caused much more pain.”

N-no way... OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET IT BE A COINCIDENCE! “W-what would your last name be?”

He blinked a bit as he stared at me. “Uh... Hindenburg, Why?”

Oh gawd~....

(Flashback)

"GET BACK HERE AND TAKE YOUR PAIN LIKE A MAN!"

"FUCK YOU I'D RATHER LIVE!"

(Present)

“Oh gawd...” I cried.

He blinked again and cocked an eyebrow. “Is there any particular reason this troubles you?”

I was about to reply, but then I saw him transition into the face of pure terror.

“She... she’s right behind me, isn’t she?” I asked with total fear in my voice. He could only nod as he locked eyes with the demonic entity that stood behind me.

She clapped a hand on my shoulder and I visibly shook with terror. ”Hello Dean~”

“Oh lawd...” I slowly turned and smiled shakily, “H-hey... Amy...” I greeted with fear. Amy was a brunette. She was also a werewolf, if you can believe it. She was the one I saved from a necromancer all those years ago. The same necromancer that was related to the necromancer Jav.

“You know each other?!” The kid asked us.

“We dated,” Amy smiled darkly, “or at least we did until someone decided to break, up, with, me.” She was punctuating the last four words by stepping closer to me.

FUCKING NOPE! TIME TO NOPE THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! I ran away from the area so fast that I actually left a man sized dust cloud where I was standing.

. “WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEE!!!!” James and the pegasus he was racing with appeared next to me, the colt on James' shoulders.

I was running like the devil himself was behind me.

“DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNN!!!!”

Which wasn’t far from the truth!

“So, I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. Name’s James!” the kid introduced himself.

“Dean! Dean Marcelo!” I replied. An arrow flew over our heads and I looked back to see Amy with a compound bow. So that's her weapon...

“FUCKING REALLY!?!?” I shouted to Amy with a grin. Wow... I must be going crazy if I can grin at the fact that I'm being chased by my homicidal ex.

“YOUR ASS IS MINE DEAN!!” More arrows shot over us and landed into trees and stalls that lined the street.

“YOU MEAN LIKE THAT ONE TIME?” I won't go into detail, but she can be dominant when she wants to be.

“I didn’t need to hear that...” James shuddered as we ran.

“Yeah well, heat of the moment always makes me say stupid shit.” I shrugged as we ran.

“AND YOU’RE NEXT FOR BEING NEAR HIM JAMES!!” Oooo.... sucks to be him.

“Sorry ‘bout that. The break-up was... Not that great. It’s my fault, but she had to leave...” I trailed off.... it quite honestly was. I let her into my life... and people took advantage of it by hurting her. I couldn't let her get hurt because of me.

“Oh Come ON!!!” He turned back to her and started running backwards. “Would you stop trying to KILL US!! I got a kid on my shoulder!!!” Huh, that's actually pretty good.

"I don’t think you noticed yet,” I jumped as an arrow zooms under me. I land and continue to run, “But she’s kind of trying to kill me, and if I use you as a decoy, I’ll only hurt the kid...” I look at pegasus and grin. “Sorry dude!”

He blinked as he was addressed “Wait what?” I then flip over James, kick the pegasus in the face lightly, and send him flying towards Amy. “Fucker!!”

Amy grabbed him by his tail and threw him at us. “YOU’LL HAVE TO TRY BETTER THAN THAT DEAN!”

I jumped past the screaming Cerulean projectile and sighed, “Damn it, I was sure that would work!”

James ducked under another arrow. “Dude this is Amy we’re dealing with.”

I nodded, “You’re right, going to have to be more versatile.” I looks at the passing buildings. “Well, nothing like trying parkour!” He then grab the colt and place the both of them under my arms.

The colt screamed in excitement as we flew through the air. I looked at the kid in amazement. One moment he’s acting all scared and brave, the next he's being Evil Kenevil..

Amy skid to a halt as she looked at the building. “GET DOWN HERE SO I CAN CASTRATE YOU DEAN!!”

“LIKE I SAID WHEN YOU CHASED ME WITH MY CAR, FUCK YOU I’D RATHER LIVE!”

We could hear Amy’s screams of rage from her spot at the bottom of the wall before she started to run at us vertically. “YOU’RE ASS IS MINE!!”

I pulled a troll face and grabbed them and jumped from building to building.

James was flailing like a ragdoll and occasionally smacking into random objects as I dragged him around. “WHY ME!?!?”

I looked down to me, “You want her to rip your dick off?”

He stopped screaming for a moment and thought over my words. “True. You may continue using me as a flail.”

“Wasn’t asking for permission!” I replied as I continued to be a ninja. Amy was still running after us as we landed in front of what I guessed was a hotel.

James looked over and got to his feet before charging inside with the colt. “Quick! In here!”

Alright... time to pull a Pinkie! I pulled out a pair of groucho glasses. The lenses even had swirls in them. I then took my coat off, my tie, and my hat, and threw them behind a plant. I then produced a newspaper and sat on a bench. I have no idea how I did this, but I don't care if it helps me hide from Amy.

Amy crashed into the street soon after causing a spiderweb of cracks to form. “DEEEEEAAAN!!!” She looked around and started running in a random direction when she couldn’t find him. I looked over the glasses and folded my paper. “Cartoons. Gotta love them.” I smirked as I took off the glasses. I reached behind the plant and put my things back on.

“If I had known she was here....” James trailed off.

“Trust me, it wouldn’t have mattered.” I gestured towards the cafeteria, “The kid hungry?”

The colt beamed at the mention of food and started drooling. I chuckled as I placed a hand on James' shoulder and guided to to the cafeteria, “Come on chuckles, lets get something to eat.”

“Hah, heh hooo. Man I needed that.” We left the streets and got some food. The next couple of minutes were spent just talking about the stupid antics that we have had during our time here in Equestria.

“And this one time, she asked me to kick a tree, just to see if I could handle it!” Basically, I ended up nearly uprooting one of Applejacks trees with my kick.

“Ha! Oh that’s priceless. Okay, Just yesterday I got chased around Canterlot by the guard, I didn’t even do anything!”

“I heard about that! Wasn’t it little man here that did everything?” I gestures towards the colt.

Said colt smiled and rubbed the back of his head. “Ah was just lookin’ fer my Cutie Mark.”

“Kid you set the street on fire.” Choc huffed and pouted in his seat.

“I don’t want to set the world on fi-yah!” I mocked. “But seriously, I know three fillies who really need to lighten up about it...” Oh god the amount of times I end up getting battered by their antics...

James laughed “Yeah, He and a couple kids back in Appleloosia made some group called ‘The Cutie Mark Crusaders, Appleloosia division’ or something. Got the Idea when his cousin visited town for a week.”

My eyes widened as I groaned, “Oh god, he wouldn’t happen to be an Apple, would he?”

He smiled and patted the little guys head “Yep, Chocolate Apple.”

I then grimaced like he was talking about Excalibur, “Oh god they’re multiplying...” I groaned as I facepalmed.

He chuckled and started rubbing his temples. “I’m guessing you live in Ponyville?”’

I nodded with my face still in my hands, “Yeah,” I then looked at him, “I take it you live in Appleloosia?”

“Yep.”

I then smashed my face into the table, “He even fucking talks like Big Mac, great...”

“Hey, get up man. You’re making a bit of a scene.” He froze as he looked out the window.

I peeked my head past the table, “I don’t give any damns. It’s like my vacation in Manehatten all over again...” He gestured to the window and OH DEAR GOD.

“DEEEEEEEEAAAAN!”

I looked at her then back all calmly, but then my eyes widened and I turned back quickly.

“FUCK ME SIDEWAYS!” I shouted before I sprout from the table and took off.

Oh shit I forgot the other guys! Gah, should I go back!?

Dude, just keep going! SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST BABY!

Now Dean, no one deserves that sort of fate, and you know it.

Dammit! My right shoulder angel is right! FUCK! I turned back around and released a large amount of power “RESTRICTION LEVEL 2 RELEASED!” I practically warped to them and grabbed the two, flying past the scenery like nothing.“I AIN’T LEAVING ANYONE TO A FATE LIKE THAT!” I shouted as we soared past the ponies.

He cried manly tears as he looked at me. “Thank you Raptor Jesus!” I think I saw Michael again as we flew by. I just keep seeing him today.

We made it to the train station before I finally stopped, panting hard.

James stood and looked towards the streets. “I think we lost her. For now at least.”

“Oh thank god!” I exclaimed before completely falling on the floor taking deep breaths. James helped me stand up

“Damn... I need a-” I paused when I see Chocolate ,“something to eat!” Probably best if I don't say I eat souls...

James reached into his pocket and pulled out a small soul. “Here.”

I greedily took it and devoured it, “Sandy, but good enough...” I sighed.

He shrugged. “With all the crap I get from them, They had it coming.” I quirked an eyebrow and he waved it off. “I’ll tell you later.” I turned around only to see that blue pegasus standing in front of me glaring at me.

“The hell, was that.”

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOPE!" I then punted him across town. I had no idea I had that much strength. Fuck. I heard James sigh.

“Today has been ten kinds of crazy... I need a drink.”

“Trust me, it wouldn’t help.” I patted his shoulder. He gave a half hearted chuckle and let Chocolate climb onto his shoulder for the upteenth time today.

“Yeah, but I still need to see if I can get drunk now that I’m here in Equestria.”

“Like I said, it wouldn’t matter. Pony Alcohol isn’t even strong enough to tingle your tongue.” It. Sucked. So much.

“Well damn. I guess I’ll just head on back to the Inn and call it a night.” He walked about two feet before turning on his heel. “Oh, do ya mind if I ask for a favor?”

I raised an eyebrow, “Depends.”

He pointed to Chocolate. “Could you take him back to his cousin’s place? He hitched a ride here and didn’t ask first.” I let a small shudder run up my spine. “His mom isn’t exactly happy.” And why am I suddenly the baby-sitter?

I was about to refuse, but suddenly, a familiar blonde haired man appeared with an arm wrapped around me.“Oh there you are Dean.” he said to him. Shitshitshit.....

“Oh... hey Louis...” I had a hand on my blade hilt, even though it probably wouldn't do any good for me. I saw James raise his hand to his gun. Dude, don't try!

He froze and groaned in pain, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Louis smiled lightly. I saw his shadow and it had three pairs of angel wings.James' jaw dropped. “Wouldn’t want to be a paste, now would you?” His arms snapped to the side, and choc began to use his scarf as a swing. Normally I would find this funny, but I just don't care given LUCIFER IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

The fallen angel chuckled, “Good boy. Now, as for the matter of you, young pony.” He looked at Chocolate before he smiled. “I think Dean can take you to your Cousin without a problem.” He then looked at me. “Won’t you?” 'After all, I have business I wish to discuss with you at Ms. Sparkle's library. I wouldn't refuse, wouldn't be healthy.' S-shit...

“Y... yeah. I can take you to Applebloom, Chocolate.” I said shakily. Chocolate smiled and jumped off his makeshift rope and landed on my shoulder. Louis smiled before looking at Dean.

“I’ll be waiting for you in Ponyville Dean.” He smiled before disappearing. I let out a breath of relief.

“Just who was that guy!?” James exclaimed

He turned at me grimly, “Louis Cypher. Say it fast.”

He was silent for a moment before making the greatest imitation of the ‘oh shit’ face in the universe. The 'OH SHIT' face. “Oh.... That’s who.”

I nodded, “Yeah. Did you hear about the giant mushroom cloud from Everfree forest?” I asked him.

“Don’t tell me... It was his doing wasn’t it?”

“A single feather from his wings. That’s all it took to level an entire city.” What the hell am I compare to him.... I'd be comparable to a pebble trying to stop a boulder. “It scares me...” I began, “That the fact that he’s only slightly weaker than Death tells me that he’s in a league all his own.”

We stared at each other for a while until the whistle for the train sounded. “You better get going. If Appleslice doesn’t hear any news about Choc any time soon,“ He rubbed his neck slightly “I may not live the next time I see her.”

I nodded, “Right. I know how much these ponies overreact. Don’t worry, he’ll be safe with me.” I then took my hat off and gave it to the kid, “Here kid. You can wear it until we get to your cousins.”

He was practically bouncing as he made his way over to the train. “YAY! I get to see Cousin Applebloom again!”

I smiled lightly and sighed, “Kids... well, I’ll see you around James.” I waved as I boarded the train.

It feels good to be back...