Teams, ponies and other madness

Authors note: sorry for the delay, and sorry again, the team had technical difficulties...

The group began to move from the room with Engie and AJ holding the rear. The two looked at each with a suscpious look, to AJ, Engie just looked like a sook, he looked her up down and noticed her apple's hat, the two glared at each other for a minute or two before the Texan made the first move.

"The name's Engineer or Engie if you prefer." He said sticking his hand out to meet with her hoof. She shook it firmly and replied.

"Name's Applejack." They both tipped their hats and continued to chat.

"Heavy got through ho-" The russian looked around the empty corridor, having just missed our heroes.

With the new addition of the ponies, Sniper started to think about what will they do with them. The one named Twilight Sparkle was curious about the equipment he have and he could read her expression, she would ask him any second now...

"Mr. Sniper, what is that thing on your back?" She asked and pointed on the Sydney Sleeper.

"That... is my rifle. It uses compressed air to blast a syringe in high speed. The syringe contains a strong 'sedative'." He simply explained.

"And that... sword on your leg?" She pointed at the Tribalman's shiv.

"Well this..." He grabbed the shiv and spinned it before him, poking the Spy's back with the tip of it in the end. "...this is a knife! Hehehe!"

"Are you some kind of explorer? Or a survivalist?" Twilight asked, the things combining in her brain quickly.

"I am! I spent months in the Australian outback on my own! You can't find a better sniper 'round here than me." He smirked.

"Interesting, don't you mind if I take notes from you?" Twilight, using her magic, levitated a small notebook with a pencil out of her backpack.

"You can do that, mate!" He smirked again. 'Heh, adorable. I might make a sniper out of her!' He thought and sipped from his pipe.

The Spy did his best to ignore the chatter behind him, but he knew he would have to get away from that purple unicorn at some point, or he may go insane from the amount of questions she asked. He had shown his Cloak and Dagger  to Rarity, who admired the craftsmanship. He appreciated having someone around who understood why he dressed the way he did.

The pink pony had introduced herself as Pinkie Pie, and she was possibly the most annoying creature the Spy had ever encountered. She made the Scout seem like a civilized person. The one named Rainbow Dash talked less, but she bragged a lot, saying she was the fastest flier in Equestria. The Spy didn't really care for such things. His main concern were to help his team by lying and murdering as many RED enemies as he possibly could. But since there was no RED team here, he would have to settle for talking with their guests.

The Medic could not stop rubbing his temples, ten minutes with the guests and he already felt a headache coming on, the cyan one kept braging about worthless trivias and butted in on coversations she thought were about her but couldn't be more different. He suspected brain damage, he would make sure later, at the very least he would cut out her vocal chords so she would shut up. He remembered he did that to Scout when he would go on a talking spree, he would just jump off the nearest cliff to mend the damage, but would learn his lesson at least temporary. The pink one was by far the most annoying one, it didn't even stand to question, given the oportunity her vochal chords will dissapear. On the topic of annoying voices also comes the one named Rarity, if one were to judge by name and claim she was definitely a snobish pompous brat, they would be 100% right. Her overexagerated pompous way of talking gave the Medic a small itch to shove his uber-saw right down her throat. Still it will be all for science.

Though he wasn't used to it, Sniper answered the questions Twilight asked. She wasn't annoying him at all, morely like reminded him of himself, when he was just a boy, exploring the backyard of his parent's house, asking his father everything.

He leaned closer to Twilight, whispering in her ears.

"That cyan one and that pink one is always this blabbery? They get on my nerves..." He asked, putting the pipe out of his mouth then back.

"Yes, most of the times yes, I'm sorry about them, I can't do anything..." Twilight stopped for a moment, thinking. "Actually, I can."

"Hmmm?" Sniper gave her a questioning look.

Twilight's horn lit up and a zip-fastener appeared on both Pinkie's and Dash's mouth.

"Much better!" Twilight said and smiled.

"Heheh, good one, mate!" Sniper said laughing. He already liked the purple unicorn. "Though it's in my codex to be polite, it also says to be efficient, and this was a real bloody routine, mate!" He exclaimed, smirking.

"Well thank you, Mr. Sniper!"

"Just Sniper, we don't need to use formalities, Ms. Sparkle!"

Both of them shared a smile.

The Spy chuckled slightly when he heard the muffled shouts coming from Rainbow Dash, who was trying to open the zipper that had appeared on her mouth. Pinkie Pie didn't really seem to mind. She continued hopping along behind him, her zipped up mouth forming a grin.

"You certainly have some strange friends Rarity." He said, pointing towards Pinkie and Rainbow.

"Oh, they're great once you get to know them, though Pinkie can be quite the hoof full sometimes."

The Spy pulled out his butterfly knife and began to open and close it with several complicated flicks and movements of his wrist, never once cutting himself on the razor-sharp blade. It was something he often did, helping him think and relax on several occasions, though on one of those occasions it took most of his willpower not to send the blade into the Scout's throat, not that it would have mattered anyway, considering the Scout would have respawned thanks to the Engineer's machine. Flicking his knife closed one last time, he continued the way to the main lobby area.

Fluttershy woke a while ago, but didn't say anything, that and she enjoyed being carried. She overheard their previous conversations and although a bit weird they didn't seem like bad ponies. The one called Medic in particular seemed  very friendly judging by his accent and his name stated his profession, he had a mixed aura around him, although there was clearly the feeling of taking care of his friends, there was something more that she couldn't put her hoof on.

Although invisible to most, and quite capable of hiding her emotions, the Medic did notice her, but choose to say nothing as she would probably faint again. He liked the pony, apparently named Fluttershy, she was very quiet, and a tad bit adorable. He could use a silent assistant in the lab, of course if her heart could take it, no problem there if her heart gave in, he would give her another.

Applejack walked quietly beside the Engineer, their paths seemed to split as she now saw him as some fancy machine builder who just happened to have the same accent as her. She kept glancing at the strange object on his back, to an extent it might seem like one of Twilight's fancy telemawhatsits.

"Hey, uh...Engie, what's that thing on your back there?" She asked now walking behind to get a better view of it.

"This old thing, well it's a shotgun." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Shot..gun?" She asked, confused by the statement.

"You're kidding right, you're probably from around a similar parts as me but you never seen a beauty like this?" He asked, pointing the barrel at her.

"..Care to explain what it do-" she stopped her sentence shaking, as the Engineer fired a shot into one of the walls, causing the group to turn with their weapons at the ready.

"Sorry, ya'll I was showing the little lady my shotgun." He said grinning.

Sniper faceplamed then looked down at Twilight, who had a questioning expression on her face.

"That genius over there have a bunch of diplomas but can't even explain how's a gun works..." He growled.

"I know that feel, 'mate'!" Twilight replied mimicking Sniper's accent with a smile, and patted his waist, as she couldn't reach higher. Back in Equestria she met with several ponies who's special talent was something she knew almost nothing about but she could describe it way better than the pony with the talent itself.

"Well, can we go now?" Sniper asked, waiting for the responses, and when he got the nods, he smiled. "Let's go, mates!" And he took the lead alongside with Twilight.

Walking along behind the Sniper and the purple unicorn, the Spy stowed his Enforcer back in his pocket and snapped the Dead Ringer shut.

"What is that?" Rarity asked as she caught sight of his watch.

"Oh, zis is a device zat allows me to avoid harm." He replied. "Watch." He pulled out his butterfly knife and flicked it open, opening the Dead Ringer at the same time. Swinging his knife, he cut the bare patch of skin between his sleeve and his glove, causing the Dead Ringer to activate. In Rarity's eyes, the Spy dropped to the floor dead. She screamed, attracting everyone's attention. The Spy laughed as the Dead Ringer ran out of charge and he became visible again.

"It is a fake my dear." He said, kicking the weightless body. Showing her his wrist, he showed how the knife slash was just a simple paper cut thanks to the Dead Ringer.

"Don't ever do that again, please," Rarity said, sighing in relief.

//Somewhere in the vast nothingness of space...//

"SAXTON HAAAAALEEEE!!!"

"Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan."

Yes Saxton Hale was riding Nyan Cat in space.

//Back with the BLU...//

"Und I get ve are all excited but please try not scare our guests further. Also I vish that after we meet ze rest you follow me to my lab, a routine check just to make sure, we vouldn't want any of you to sponateusly combust, no?" The Medic chuckled with a hint of madness. "Anyway it's just to make sure ze trip wasn't harmfull, und you can help around ze manor vhile you stay. I vill check ze schetches und asign you rooms. Alternatively if you wish you can share a room with one member of the BLU team. Also try not to wander alone, zis is an old manor and it's best to have one of our members with you at all times. So mein froilein, find a partner und enjoy Mann Manor." He finished.

//On the northern most part of the Manor in a dark, damp corridor...//

He striked on the weakened wall, again and again, untill it crumbled, light flashed and blined him for a moment. But he regained itself, it hit a wall in victory with it's big rusty wrench and said one thing.

"Hurrr."

Twilight was observing the well pleaced moves of the Sniper, along with the Medic's slightly rushed ones, the smoothness of the Spy and the similarity to AJ of the Engineer. She made mental notes about it, trying to place the information.

"Uhm Sniper?" She asked.

"Yeah?" He looked down with a smile on his face.

"There are some sorts of enemies whom you and your team fight, right?" Twilight raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, the REDs... those bastards... What do ya wanna know?"

"Ah, not important." She made another mental note.

"Well okay, mate!" Sniper said and continued to lead the small gang.

The Spy's thoughts were elsewhere as he walked. He couldn't help but wonder what kind of lives the ponies had. His team had known nothing but death and destruction since the day they joined the fight. They had never even met any other human beings besides Saxton and the Announcer, who didn't show up very often. Saxton often only showed up to give the team new weapons, which were mostly designed by the Engineer. The Announcer was the woman who had put them all here, taking them from their families in the promise that they would be earning large sums of money to support their loved ones. The Spy had always thought of her as a liar, and often thought of what may have happened if he had declined her offer.

"Hmm vere could ze others be." The medic mused as put a hand to his chin. "Well Pyro is definitely out of ze question, as valuable as he is, he may just be too unstable around zhem." He talked to himself. "Everyone, who is missing from our small onturage? Und who shall we go to first?" After meeting the team he would assing them to the sleeping quarters and tend to the examination. Maybe after this was over he would make a trip back with them to pony land. The possibilities were endless.

Sniper answered Medic's question.

"Last time I've seen, Scout was lost in this bloody place, Demo was up somewhere around the kitchen, Pyro was burning... whatever he have seen combustible, and Soldier was on an opening, giving training for flour bags." When he finished summing up the status, Sniper growled. "That rocket hoppin' simpleton have mental illness."

Twilight poked his leg.

"What's 'rocket hopping' mean?" She asked with the curiousity of a little kid.

"I'll tell you later." Sniper answered and petted her head, smiling.

The Spy left his thoughts when the Medic asked his question. Waiting for the Sniper to finish, he lit a new cigarette.

"Actually, ze Scout is probably in the main area now, as I ran into him in one of ze hallways and led him back zere. As for the Demo, he is most likely drunk somewhere. Soldier is most likely telling the flour bags about Sun Tzu by now."

"I'm sorry, but who is Sun Tzu?" Rarity asked.

"A man who died long ago who was apparently a brilliant military tactician. Soldier looks up to him, but zat's not necessarily helpful."

"Vell I would suggest we go and see Scout first, although annoying he is neither drunk nor insane. Lesser of three evils I suppose."

Throughout the conversation Fluttershy stayed silent, not much to say being as shy as her, the Medic however was the one she really wanted to spend time with. Surely he would have something to help heal animals and ponies alike faster. And she would be happy to help in any way.

'Hmm maybe I can finally find out why Scout is so afraid of rainbows.' The Medic grinned.

"Vat do you say comrades?" He turned to his team. "Ze Scout?"

"Why not?..." the Sniper whispered, preparing himself for another headache.

"I have a feeling about that 'Scout'..." Twilight said to the Sniper, whispering too. "...he might be similar to my 'friend' Rainbow Dash.

Sniper let out a joyous laugh. "Hahhahah, you have no idea!" His laughter decreased to a smirk. "You have no idea..." He then caressed Twilight's head, this pony was soft, she reminded him to his pet dog, Billy.

(Who's name is coincidentally the same as Scout's...)

The Spy rubbed his hands together, eager to see Scout shocked into silence for once in his life.

"What's so funny?" Rarity asked him. The Spy had not realized he was chuckling slightly.

"Oh, I am just interested to see what will happen when ze Scout meets your little friend here." He replied, gesturing at Rainbow Dash, who was hovering with her legs crossed and her mouth still zipped shut.

The Medic also rubbed his hands in anticipation, for all the dumb things the Scout does his big mouth was the only thing the Medic could not correct.

'I mean I sewed his vocal chords bacwards and he still continued to annoy everyone, but still he is valuable to the team. I just wish one could have a conversation with him, without his ego kicking in.'

The Medic sighed, he had taken off his gloves a while ago, tending to the team and ensuring maximum performance was stressful indeed. He felt something on his dangling arm, something soft and comforting, the small yellow pony was nuzzeling his hand. He gave an honest smile.

"Danke Schön little one, but I'm fine." He patted her head and she gave a smile of her own.

Half minute later the group reached the stairs what lead up. They went upstairs and soon they were in the main hall, finding the Scout lying on the floor unconscious.

"Looks like that twitchy hooligan knocked himself out with his own ball, heheheh!" Sniper commented, and he was right: next to the Scout was his Sandman baseball bat and a ball too. And under his left eye was a monocle, probably by the ball.

"He hit the wall with the ball and it bounced back." Twilight commented, then giggled, this was funny even to her.

The Spy leaned down and opened the Scout's eye. Moving a finger in front of it, he knew the Scout was definitely out cold when there was no reaction. Picking up the ball, he tossed it over his shoulder into a trash can.

"Oh, and I so hoped to see him run away screaming." The Spy said in disappointment. "Now what? Perhaps we should introduce zem to ze Demoman?"

"Yes I believe that would do. Let's just hope I do not have to revive him from an alchool induced coma... again." The yellow pony although staying silent stayed near the doctor, he instinctivly petted the mare's head, who knew pony fur was therapeutic?

'I swear that dummkopf is abusing my skills.' He thought. " Shall I retrieve the medigun, just in case?"

"Hold your horses, no offense, ponies, I can wake up the Scout! Heheheh..."

Sniper said and rummaged through his pocket. When he finished the searching, a small vial was in his hand. He opened it, and put it under the Scout's nose.

The Scout suddenly awake, screaming.

"Aaaaaahh, what the hell was that crap?!?" He jumped up and asked, breathing quickly.

"Heheheh, 'vintage' jarate." Sniper smirked then closed the vial and put it back in his pocket.

"What is jarate?" Twilight asked.

"I'll tell you later, wait with the questions now." Sniper responded.

"Jeez I think there is some in my nose!" The Scout said as he began blowing his nose to try and release any of the contents in his nose. After about 5 minutes of unbound sneezing and blowing, he caught notice of the creatures that were behind him.

"What the heck are those......THINGS that are with you?"