One Step At A Time.

It took me a good few days to even begin to wrap my head around the fact that I was indeed amongst the land of the living, and not lost in my own substance fuelled imagination. It would most definitely take a whole lot longer than a few days for me to actually accept such a concept however. Still, from what I'd learnt recently, it would seem I would have plenty of time to come to terms with my predicament. Many things had been explained to me by Celestia and Luna, the two 'hybrids' who I'd mentioned previously.

It was a bit of a shock to learn that they were also the rulers of the nation with which I'd found myself in. Leave it to me to run into such powerful figures within the first few hours of my arrival. It's almost as if it had been planned by some sort of higher power.

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the ‘Alicorns’.

Firstly, they provided me with a basic explanation of how I was going to get home - I wasn’t (They still haven’t given up to this day, so A* for effort). Secondly, a bit of magical prodding and experimentation, including a failed attempt at ‘interdimensional’ teleportation. It didn't work, obviously, but it did make my kidneys feel a little tingly. Thirdly, sugar, spice, and a hint of sympathy. Literally. The sugar and spice came from a sort of ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party, with the sympathy from those I’d met. At least, anyone I'd met who hadn't ran and/or fainted. At that point, that list had been rather short, unfortunately. It also didn't help that I was still rather shell shocked to enjoy the party to its fullest.

Got to enjoy the cupcakes though, diabetes be damned.

Still, it wasn't all that bad. For a start, I was being sheltered and fed at least, so I did have that. I didn't exactly plan on staying forever, though, as I really didn't plan on being a burden towards my kind host. Whenever I brought this up to her, though, she always went on about how I was anything but a burden.

And by she, I mean the lavender pony - Twilight Sparkle. Or, more affectionately, 'Sparky', 'Sparkles', or 'Book Bitch'.

She still takes exception to that last one to this day. I've no idea why, though.

As had been the case for the past few days upon opening my eyes, I expected myself to be laying in my own bed, in my own room, in my own flat. As had been the case for the past few days also, I was not. A truly shocking turn of events. Instead, I was greeted by the same room with which I'd been graciously granted by one 'Twilight Sparkle'. I knew her now as that rather adorable lavender pony. I also knew her as the one who asked the most questions. Her eagerness for knowledge didn't take away from how adorable she was in her pursuit. ‘She's like a little puppy. A little puppy with a penchant for pestering. Still, I can't exactly fault her. I am an alien to her, after all, so questions are to be expected.’

I owed her whatever I could provide her with anyway. Upon realising that I'd no home at that point, Twilight had immediately volunteered to be the one to home me during my 'temporary' stay in Equestria. 'Equines, living in the lands of Equestria and in a town called Ponyville. It's like I'm living in a cartoon for kids.' After a basic tour, she brought me to a rather homely little spare room on the bottom floor.

For obvious reasons, I'd struggle to get myself up and down the stairs, so she and her little assistant/brother had taken it upon themselves to transform what was once a room for storing books into a makeshift guest room. It contained the essentials: a bed, wardrobe, bookshelf, desk, bookshelf, bookshelf et cetera. All in all, it suited me just fine.

Despite all of that, however, I wasn't the happiest of people. I'd hazard a guess that awakening in a strange new world with no recollection of how you'd managed such an accomplishment would leave one rather bummed out. Seeing my depression, the townsfolk had decided to throw me a 'Welcome to Ponyville' Party. Whilst it didn't exactly bring me out of my edge-o-bubble, their efforts did make me chuckle a wee bit. To a certain pink pony, that right there was basically mission accomplished right there, judging by the fact that she had the image of a Cheshire cat for the rest of that night.

She even proclaimed me her new ‘best human friend’. ‘The competition must have surely been fierce.’

Having completed my new daily morning routine of depressing thoughts for the day, I slumped back into my chair, a seemingly permanent frown having etched itself upon my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I spied a nearby mirror, large enough to fit my whole body in it. Curious, I brought myself over towards it, inspecting my rather dishevelled appearance. If I wasn't so annoyed, I'd probably take great pride in the fact that I'd finally managed to grow some proper facial hair. Still, I did look like an actual mess. Probably because I hadn't bathed in a while. The nearest one was upstairs, after all, and getting up there would be effort.

Other than that party, I'd yet to really leave my room other than for certain biological requirements. Having brushed away any attempts at communication from my two housemates the first dozen times, they decided that it would be best to leave me alone for a while, believing that I'd talk to them fully when I was good and ready. When would that time be? Nobody knew. Perhaps in a few days. Perhaps in a few weeks or months. Maybe even a good year or two.

Out of nowhere though, I suddenly felt something shift within me. As if a veil had been lifted from my eyes, I could see clearly now what was wrong with me. The answer to my problems? The root of my depression? The source of my pain? It was all so clear to me now. I knew exactly what I had to do. With newfound determination and purpose, I nodded, understanding now just what it was that needed to be done.

"I need a bath, a cup of tea, and a sausage roll from Greggs."

Sometimes it’s the simple things that can solve the most complicated of conundrums.

It was a struggle, yes, but, like most obstacles that I face, I overcame the odds in the end. Having anticipated it to inevitably be more trouble than it was worth, I decided to forego even attempting to get my wheelchair up the stairs. Instead, I'd gone and crawled up them, dragging myself to the top of the stairs and to nearly every room up there, eventually finding and mentally noting down the position of the bathroom. Once I was satisfied that I was properly cleaned, I began the rather arduous task of dragging myself across the floor.

Perhaps I should've at least attempted to bring my wheelchair up here? It would've been entertaining to see if I could try and stick a landing with it from the top of the stairs. There was no protective railing either, so it could theoretically be done. 'I'll definitely bloody hurt myself at some point, even if I don't try that admittedly awesome sounding stunt.'

It was when I was halfway down the stairs that I heard the front door open that made me stop dead. Stepping into the library was the lavender custodian herself. It didn't take her long to see me, and when she did, I think she almost fainted in pure shock and terror. I wasn't sure why exactly, though the more logical side of me attributed it to the fact that she'd just found her paralysed ward out of both his room and his wheelchair. The library was silent for but a moment before her brain retook control, kicking her body into motion.

I didn't even have time to blink as I found myself levitating in the air again, before being deposited onto a nearby sofa, concern etched all over Twilight's muzzle as she appeared by my side. Her eyes darted all over my form, checking for any obvious injuries. As this was happening, my ears were ever so kindly bombarded with a flurry of words.

"OhmygoshMrGreysonareyouallrightohCelestiawhatinthenameofFaus-" 'Aaand now my hearing is impaired as well.'

"Mrs Twilight?" She carried on.

"-athappenedtoyou-" 'She still going? Yes, yes she is.'

"Oi, adorable book pony?" She still carried on.

"-onnabanishmeforthis-" 'Aight, Plan B. Ahem.’

"FOR CHRIST SAKE'S WOMAN I'M FINE!" Startled by my sudden outburst, Twilight let out a surprised squeak, stumbling backwards and falling onto her hind legs. Rolling over onto my back, I was met with her muzzle more or less in my face, the concern for my health still there. We remained like that for a while, before boredom set in and I thought that, perhaps maybe, I should talk to her. 'Not as if I've been ignoring her for almost a whole week. Oh wait!'

"So uhh... You got big fucking eyes, love." Smooth as always. Her following spluttering of words was an entertaining sight, yet I didn't have time to enjoy it. The floor wasn't exactly the most comforting thing to be laying on, and I preferred my spine only slightly damaged. With that in mind, I was about to start heading for my wheelchair, before it suddenly began moving towards me of its own accord. 'Huh, I don't remember having the force?'

Then I saw a rather familiar pink light enveloping its wheels. A quick glance to Twilight confirmed my suspicions. 'Damn, it's just her. Shame. Cheers anyway, my dear.' Twilight's assistance didn't end there though, as she then proceeded to gently lift me up off of the ground and into my chair. If I didn’t plan on getting on her good side as soon as I could, I'd have probably been annoyed with all the assistance I was getting. Despite being physically impaired, I was still fully capable of taking care of myself.

Still, I couldn't be annoyed at her for long. Especially when she's the one who owns the roof over my head. At the very least I allowed myself to throw snarky remarks, if only to ease my frustration.

"Would you like to take me out to dinner as well?" I innocently remark, batting my eyelids at her as I do so, dazzling smile also included. If her sudden frown told me anything, it was that she wasn't amused at my remark. 'Aww.'

"So you shut yourself in a room for days, ignore my every attempt at communication, leaving me up at night to think of a way to bring you out of your shell-" 'Damn, she sounds rather annoyed bro.' "-nd then I come home to find you crawling down my stairs, frightening me half to death! I thought you were hurt! What do you have to say for yourself, mister!?" '...Yea, that backfired rather well. Go figure.' Awaiting a response, I'm surprised any anger she had wasn't further inflamed when I nonchalantly shrugged.

"The Aristocrats."

What followed was a rather intense stare down. On the one hand, we had a magical, literature loving librarian mare. On the other hand, a handicapped English man with a penchant for alcohol, bad puns at his own expense and a healthy dose of sarcasm. Truly a showdown for the ages.

I won that staring contest in the end, though I had little time to celebrate my victory. Seeing as how I was now socially active, Twilight had decided that it’d be best for me to follow her to a small field outside of Ponyville, where she and her friends had decided upon throwing a little picnic. It was sunny, it was warm; overall it was definitely a pleasant day for a picnic.

Such a day would be seen as a sign of the end times in N.W England. Especially if it was during actual Summer time.

Twilight had wanted me to join this picnic for a number of reasons. One of them was so as to properly introduce herself and her friends to me. I could understand that, as, despite knowing her name and her borderline-obsessive love for the literary arts, I actually didn’t know that much about her personally. Nor about her friends either. I couldn’t actually remember their names, to be honest.

Funnily enough, I’d never actually asked that many questions during the little session we’d all shared in the library. It had mainly consisted of me being interrogated, acting as if nothing I was hearing was truly real, and then throwing in a cheeky remark here and there. This lasted until they decided to test a few theories to prove their words, such as the ‘If this isn’t real, would you feel pain,’ theory. They tested that theory at least three times for good measure. Suffice to say I didn’t get that much done afterwards, due to the shock from the reality of it all. Alongside a mild case of whiplash as well. ‘Fuckers hit me with a book at high speed because, you know, what better way is there to prove that I’m not on Earth than by yeeting a fucking book at me? None it seems.’

Her other yet equally important reason for me coming along was that, similarly to wanting me to talk to her friends, she and her friends also wanted to talk to me. It actually sounded like she and her compatriots were genuinely excited to talk to me again. She attributed such excitement to two overriding factors - the quest for knowledge and the hope of everlasting friendship. ‘I’d stand and salute their enthusiasm if I could. ‘Alas, ‘tis not possible.’

In reality it was probably down to my roguishly handsome looks.

It didn’t take long for us to reach our destination and, upon arrival, my attention was quickly grabbed a group of familiar mares. ‘...Yea, I remember them now… Fuck, what were their names again?’ As I struggled to place names upon the colorful creatures ahead, Twilight went ahead and shouted out to her friends, drawing their attention towards us. When they saw who it was accompanying their friend the eyes of the mares widened, the surprise on their muzzles drawing an chuckle from me. It was as we drew closer towards them that I was able to get a better look at them that realisation slowly began to dawn on me. ‘Okay, the yellow one with the pink mane is Fluttershy, I think. The prissy looking one is Rarily, or, Rarity? Yea, that one. Uhh, the LGBT mascot is Rainbow Dash I do believe. Who else do we ha- oh yea, that’s Applejack... Is that all of them? Yea, that’s all four.’

It took me a moment to realise that there was actually meant to be five here, yet I could only count five including Twilight. Before I could ask whether or not I’d merely been imagining a sixth pony, the view I had of the group was replaced by a mass of pink.

“Hi there!” ‘Oh, no, there is six.’ “It’s been awhile Mr Greyson sir!” ‘Isn’t this that party pony?’ “-of us have seen you since that super duper party I threw, just for you!” ‘What was her name again? Something to do with, like, pink I do believe.’ “-idn’t know if you liked it though because you seemed so grumpy the whole time, but you ate my cupcakes so that must mean you enjoyed it right? ‘Honestly, this is annoying me now, it’s on the tip of my bloody tongue.’ “-at am I saying, of course you enjoyed it! Everyone enjoys a-”

“PINKIE PIE!” ‘...Dammit man, what is it?’

“-party!” And with that, she dropped from her position upon my head and into my lap and, noticing my lack of attention, began poking me in the chest with her hoof every few seconds. ‘...Oh yea, it’s Pinkie Pie ain’t it? Gotcha. Whoa, it got a whole lot quieter all of a sudden. Has she stopped talking then?’ Indeed she had and, having seen me bear the brunt of Pinkie’s verbal bombardment, the rest of the ponies didn’t know how I was going to react.

To say they were surprised when I absentmindedly began to scratch the energetic ball of fluff behind the ears would be an understatement. Perhaps jealous would’ve been a better description. Looking down at how the pink pony has seemingly melted at my touch, a look of pure bliss adorning her features, I shrugged.

“No idea what she was on about, ladies, but I think I’ve got her sorted.” A hum of confirmation resonated from the mare lying on my lap, her ear reflexively twitching from my ministrations. ‘She honestly is like a bloody cat. Maybe Twilight will let me keep her?’

“Well ah’ll be, ah’ ain’t so sure ah’ve ever seen Pinkie Pie so… so-”

“Quiet?” She nods at this, and I smirk, ruffling Pinkie's mane, much to her delight.

“I’ve just got those magic hands, sweetheart.” Wiggling my fingers for effect, I was able to draw a few humoured chuckles from the group. ‘So far so good, Grey. Keep it up and they might accept you, buddy.’

“Now that that’s over with,” Twilight says, sparing a glance at the pony in my lap still, “I think we should join the girls, Greyson.” Hearing this, the mares quickly made room for us both to join them, levitating plates and food stuffs all over the place.

“Oh, don’t I have a say in the matter?” I reply, feigning indignation. One look my way quickly told her that I was only playing. ‘Shit boys, she’s onto me.’

“No.”

“Pretty snide, that.”

Compared to our last meeting, this one was a whole lot more informative for both myself and the girls. We'd introduced ourselves yet again, answered and gave questions on both human - mainly British - and Equestrian society and traded little stories about our lives. They were particularly interested in how I'd ended up in a wheelchair, though it took one of them a while to pluck up the courage to ask about it. By the end of it all though, both parties had come away feeling much better with the other. For my part, I'd learnt much more about the world I was in and about those who inhabited it.

For example, I learnt that there were yet more mythological species which I'd once believed to be fairy tales existing within Equestria. Another thing I'd learnt was that I'd literally arrived in the midst of some world-ending crisis, with a being known as 'Nightmare Moon' attempting to bring about an age of eternal night. Rainbow Dash made sure that I knew exactly who were the ones responsible for preventing such a catastrophe. 'Go you, Greyson. You're now friends with the local national heroes. Congratulations.'

By the time we arrived back at the library it was rather late in the afternoon. Twilight, having asked and gotten my permission, planned to spend an hour or two asking the more boring questions about my culture, society and so forth. The others weren't exactly interested in such questions, though, and had called it a day.

"You're an alien to Equestria!" Twilight had pointed out for at least the 80th time, her eyes gleaming with excitement, "Just think of how much we could learn from one another!" 'You could always just say please, maybe?'

Twilight had said that, provided that she was given enough information, she'd write and publish a great many books on Humans. I'd agreed, on the condition that she open a fireproof bookstore just for these books and to also name said store, 'The Great Library of Alexandria'. She told me she'd consider it.

Twilight had only just gone upstairs when the library door slammed open. Startled, I literally wheeled around to face the disturbance. I was actually expecting a thief, or at the very least a group of angry ponies who didn't take too kindly to foreign folk in these parts.

Either of the two would've probably been easier to deal with compared to what I got instead.

"Whoa. Is that the alien, Apple Bloom?" 'Well hello to you too.'

"Ah' think so, Scootaloo. Ah' mean, it don't look like no pony." 'No shit?'

"Erm, girls? I think he can hear us." 'Nah kid, I'm just deaf as well as paralysed. Please, do carry on with your business.'

No, there were no armed robbers or lynch mobs. Instead, I was faced faced with a trio of fillies, who didn't exactly seem to concerned with the fact that they'd literally just stormed into the building and were openly talking about me. Whilst I was literally just a few yards away, staring at them in utter confusion.

It was at this moment that I chose to ask a rather specific question. A question which, in time, I'd both come to regret and enjoy.

"...And you three are?" I ask, getting their attention. Suddenly, all three of the fillies jumped forwards and were now lined up right in front of me. Still confused, I just sat there wondering what it was that they had planned. 'They're kids. What are they gonna do, shout me to death?'

"WE'RE THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!"

I couldn't hear anything in my left ear for the next 24 hours.