Equestrian Chronicles: The Sparkle Experiment

I didn’t know what was stranger. The entire situation itself or the sight of one of the test subjects getting himself dazed off my whiskey, in front of my own eyes. He was really chugging at it too. He really wanted to forget. I couldn’t let him get too drunk though, otherwise he’d have a hangover the next morning, and I didn’t want to have to deal with that. He was still crying. I could see it. I didn’t want him to waste all my alcohol, so I just handed him a cigar. Shining was really mellowed out for the rest of the night.

I told him he could use the guest room. I wasn’t having someone sleep in the same bed as me, especially if they have been in a testing chamber for three years. I never had so much trouble with sleeping in my entire life than I had sleeping that night. Not even the night of my wife’s death. I didn’t know why I couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was because I had so much to think about? At this point the plan in my head had started to fade away. I had drank some whiskey too, so it was understandable. I realised the mistake I had made. I ran to the bathroom and let out my stomach contents. Guess I had more than I thought. I kept going at it until there was no more. And that’s when I finally collapsed.

I woke up on the bathroom floor, vomit dripping from my mouth. My head was pounding. I couldn’t tell if I had a hangover or if I just banged my head on the toilet seat. As I got my bearings, I heard Shining get up in the other room. I slowly pushed myself up onto my hooves, and then proceeded to wash up. I noticed in the bathroom mirror that I was bleeding from my head throughout the night. My muzzle was almost completely red from an additional nosebleed. I washed the dry blood off my face and the vomit off my mouth. What a disgusting taste. I rummaged around in the medicine cabinet and found an antiseptic wipe and a pack of plasters. I wiped the deep cut and then applied a plaster to my head. That should keep it clean. I flushed the toilet, still full of yesterday’s dinner, and knocked on the guest room door.

Shining opened the door, bags under his eyes.

“Hey, you get any sleep?” I said in a croaky voice, my head still ringing constantly.

“Uh.. not rea- Wait, what happened to your head?” He exclaimed, putting his hoof against my forehead.

“Just fell over and knocked myself out or something like that. Should be fine. Just need to sit down and take some painkillers. Speaking of which, where are those bloody things?” I said as I walked back into the bathroom. Having another scavenge through the medicine cabinet didn’t help. “Crap. Guess I’ll just have to get some m-“ I was interrupted by a knock at my door.

“I’ll go get it. You just sit down.” Shining said as he walked over to the door. I staggered over to the recliner and fell into it. Head still pounding. At least the chair cushioned it, slightly at least. I looked at the door and the five mares walked in, along with Spike.

“I thought I told you to come back here late at night!” I exclaimed. They hadn’t followed the instructions.

“Uh. Does it really matter? It’s five o’clock in the mornin’...” Applejack replied, pointing her hoof at the clock.

“Fine, come in.”

“What’s got you so grumpy today, Tango?”

“My head bloody hurts like hell. Now can everyone sit down? Shining, get the whiteboard in my room.” I demanded.

Shining gave me a confused look, then went into my room. Five seconds later, he came back pushing a whiteboard on a stand with wheels into the living room. I slowly got up out of my seat, and took the pen from the whiteboard. At the top I wrote “Plan” and underlined it.

“Alright, what ideas do we have?” I asked everyone. Most of them scratched the back of their necks. They hadn’t thought of anything was my first guess.

“None of you thought of anything?” Everyone shook their heads. “Well, consider yourselves lucky. I hatched a plan, and I can remember most of it, despite knocking myself out.” I picked up the pen and began to explain my plan. “The ESF facility is located in Canterlot in a disclosed location. Good thing is, I know this location. It’s directly beneath the castle. I say we use a little manipulation ourselves to get in. I need one of you to convince Celestia that she is needed somewhere. Most of her guards will leave with her to prevent any type of assassination or attack. Some guards will stay behind though... and here’s the thing...”

“What’s that then?” Rarity asked. Everyone else made agreeing gestures.

I gulped and then proceeded to speak. “Considering this, there is a very high chance that it is required to... kill some guards. I’m not sure if you’re comfortable wi-“

“KILL? MURDER? ARE YOU INSANE? That’s totally out of the question.” Fluttershy yelled. This was the first time she had spoke in ages.

“Yes. But we’re already going to be committing treason anyway, and it’s for the greater good. I’ve killed many myself. It’s not that I want to, it’s if I need to, and in this case, it’s necessary.” I explained. It still didn’t get through to her.

“NO. I COULD NEVER LIVE WITH MYSELF IF I KILLED EVEN A FLY.”

“Well, sorry, but is it Twilight and her parents, or a few guards?” After saying this, Shining really gave Fluttershy a death stare. Pure madness in his eyes.

The room went silent. I decided to quickly drop the subject and continue with the plan. “Once we have got past the guards, I will lead you all to the room in which the facility can be accessed. I’m not sure what to do from there.” I wrote all the necessary details on the board, and repeated it many times so everyone remembered it. “Remember, come back here tomorrow in the morning, and we’ll go from there.”

I looked at everyone in the room, and that’s when I noticed Fluttershy had disappeared. Suddenly, I felt a hoof buck me in the back of the head. Hard. I collapsed onto the floor, my nose bleeding profusely. Fluttershy had bucked me in the back of the head.

“Well I won’t let you, you sick bastard!” Fluttershy screamed. She was mad. Very.

“Well now you’re just a hypocrite, thought you said you wouldn’t hurt a fly?” I teased her. I must have really gotten to her, because she ran into the kitchen and grabbed a knife.