The Substitute Teacher

by Kaipony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Young Six, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Starlight Glimmer, Tempest Shadow, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life
Length: 3127

Before Twilight and her friends left on another adventure, she assigned a substitute teacher to cover her class on history. The students expected a pushover substitute but that's not who walked through the classroom door.

Twilight, Spike, and their friends leave the School of Friendship to embark on another adventure. To fill in during their absence, Twilight assigned a substitute teacher to cover for her and teach her History of Friendship class. When the students find out they begin discussing what pranks they should pull or how they can convince what they assume will be a pushover substitute to go easy on the homework.

The pony who walks through the door is not who they were anticipating.

Published 2019-01-25 18:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-01-25 18:30:01 UTC

No Substitute for Strategy

Once the students saw that their teacher was late, the classroom buzzed with chatter and gossip that was focused on anything but the day’s intended lessons. Weekend plans were traded along with the latest predictions of pairings between likely couples. Snores of contentment rose from a pair of students who chose to lean back in their seats for a quick nap rather than participate in the conversations. As the minutes ticked by, excited wishes circulated about the possibility of an unexpectedly free class period. Those hopes were dashed by the sound of the classroom door swinging open.

“Okay class, settle down. Everyone please take your seats,” Starlight Glimmer requested as she trotted in, her eyes leveling on the students who had fallen asleep. She cleared her throat loudly. “I have an announcement.” Starlight waited while elbows and wings nudged the two offenders awake.

“Miss Glimmer?” a soft voice inquired.

Starlight found the owner of the voice peeking out from behind another classmate and nodded to her. “Go ahead, Ocellus.”

“Where is Headmare Twilight?”

“That’s actually what I was just about to announce.” Starlight, head held high, began to pace along the width of the room at the head of the class. “Twilight, and many of your teachers, have gone with Spike to find his parents.”

Smolder crossed her arms and leveled a questioning look at Starlight. “Is this because of something that Sludge said to him?” the young dragon questioned. “The only honest thing that came out of that lizard's mouth was when he admitted that he had lied to Spike about being his father.”

“I know you’re concerned for your friend but I asked the same question and its turns out that Sludge was telling the truth when he told the story about the Scale Collectors. Spike’s parents really are there; that’s where Sludge got the idea to impersonate Spike’s father.” There were several gasps and murmurings of launching a class-wide rescue operation until Starlight cleared her throat again. “Spike and your teachers have saved Equestria more times than they will admit so I’m confident that everything will turn out just fine.”

Starlight concluded her pacing and stood stiffly in front of the class. “Until she returns you will have a substitute teacher taking you through most of your classes.”

Sandbar was the first to comment. “That’s cool. Is it you, Miss Glimmer?”

Starlight shook her head. “Not that I wouldn’t enjoy teaching you all, especially since you’re starting history this week, but with both Twilight and Spike gone someone needs to handle their administrative duties. Your substitute is, um...” She glanced towards the door and fumbled through a few words before latching onto something. “She is very well trained in speaking to both small and large groups. She was educated in a foreign land and specifically chosen by Twilight to help her re-acclimate to Equestrian society given her...extended absence.”

The whole class perked up as Silverstream hopped up in her chair. “Oh! Oh! I can help with that. There’s this fantastic new thing I just saw the other day.” She reached under her desk and raised aloft a small, folding step-ladder. “Portable stairs!”

“I’m not sure that’s exactly what Twilight had in mind,” Starlight chuckled. “But I do know that she expects you all to give your substitute your full attention and cooperation.”

“Yes Miss Glimmer,” the class intoned together.

“Great. Okay.” Starlight shifted her weight from one side to other and rubbed one leg against another. “Give me a moment to speak with your substitute and then I’ll send her in.” Starlight spun and quickly trotted out the door, calling back over her shoulder. “Good luck.” The door glowed and shut behind her just as the chatter started up again.

Gallus elbowed Sandbar. “Five bits says it’s Zecora.”

The young stallion leapt to the challenge. “You’re on. Easiest bits I’ve ever earned.” He shot Gallus a knowing smirk. “She’s not new to Equestria.”

“But she is from the zebra lands so that means she would have gone to school in a foreign place,” the griffin countered.

Sandbar pursed his lips. “Do zebras actually go to school to learn the stuff that Zecora knows?”

“Maybe King Thorax sent one of our Changeling instructors,” Ocellus added, gently nudging her way into the conversation. “They have a lot of experience teaching entire hives as well as small groups and I know he’s always looking for ways to get more Changelings interacting with others.”

Gallus did not look convinced. “I wouldn’t have thought Changelings would have done much reading or teaching before Thorax took the reins.”

Ocellus looked thoughtfully at the ceiling for a moment before she answered. “Well, no, but lots of us were eager to learn all we could whenever we had the chance.”

“Who it is doesn’t matter.” Smolder had her feet resting on her desk and her claws behind her head. “What matters is how much homework we can get away with not doing.”

“Or how we’re going to prank the substitute!” Gallus added excitedly.

“Prank?” Yona asked, barging into the discussion.

“Yeah. Don’t yaks put a tack on the teacher’s chair or glue pencils to the desk or something whenever you have a substitute?”

Yona shook her head vehemently. “Yaks respect elders and teachers. Sometimes classroom needs fixing after traditional yak dance of celebration for good grades, but never smash teacher’s desk on purpose.”

This piqued Silverstream’s interest and she hovered over Yona’s shoulder. “A celebration dance? That’s so cool. Can you teach me?”

Smolder snorted a small cloud of smoke. “Pfft. Tacks, glue, and dances are boring. Dragon pranks are a lot more fun, and explosive.”

“Why don’t we step away from any idea that has a chance of starting a fire,” Sandbar cautioned.

Ocellus smiled meekly. “We could always just sit here quietly and learn.”

“I would advise you to listen to your Changeling classmate.” The voice was level and soft but firmly authoritative. All heads turned to face the doorway and beheld a maroon unicorn mare with green eyes, her calmly commanding demeanor highlighted by the broken stub of a horn.

“Eek!” Silverstream and Ocellus both dove under their desks.

Sandbar was decidedly less alarmed. “Um, are we being invaded again?”

“Pony here to invade pony land? Why pony invade own home? Yona confused.”

“And why would someone invade a school?” Silverstream’s voice asked, drifting out from her point of cover.

“Haven’t you heard of the book Scarlet Sunrise?” Smolder asked, moving from her relaxed pose to standing in her chair.

Gallus hopped up in his chair as well. “Where the students rise up against the invaders? That’s a great story.” He pumped his claw into the air. “Wolverines!”

Silverstream’s head popped up from behind her chair. “Wolverines? Where?”

“Children.” Tempest’s voice rose in volume but remained calm. “There is no invasion and there are no wolverines, nor will I tolerate the formation of a resistance group in Twilight’s classroom while she is away.”

Ocellus’ eyes peeked out from under her desk. "So...we’re not going to be enslaved?”

Tempest shook her head. “Of course not.” She began to slowly pace back and forth across the front of the classroom. “The Storm King is gone and I have renounced my former ways. I will admit that it has been some time since I have taught instead of simply given orders, and even longer since I have interacted with children, but let me assure you that you have nothing to fear from me.” She turned and started down the rows between the desks. “From your reactions I doubt that you have heard of my tour around Equestria during which I spread the word of the Storm King's defeat and attempted to apologize for my part in that...incident. During that time I learned much about the nature of friendship. This class is on the history of friendship. Headmare Twilight has provided me with a detailed synopsis of this week’s topics but I also bring with me my own knowledge of Equestrian and non-Equestrian history.”

Smolder slumped back down into her seat. “There goes our chance at getting out of any homework.”

“The study of history is vitally important to all creatures,” Tempest added, stopping to stare down at Smolder. “Even if the sub-topic is narrowly focused on friendship.” She resumed her review down each row of students. “It was my analysis of Equestria’s past that allowed me to overwhelm the country in a single day. In the same way, history can teach us all about the mistakes and victories of the past. What did our ancestors do that perhaps they shouldn’t have done? Which of their endeavors were successful? These are the questions we must ask ourselves lest we repeat mistakes which have already been made.”

Silverstream raised a wing. “Um, Miss Commander Tempest?”

“You may address me as ma'am, child, as I am no longer a commander. I have been trying to encourage ponies to refrain from referring to me as Tempest but it may be some time before I can move away from that name.”

Gallus kicked back in his chair, a knowing smirk on his face. “I heard that your real name is-.”

Tempest cut him off with narrowed eyes that seemed to spark with magic. “In addition to teaching her lessons, your Headmare also granted me the authority to assign detention." She stalked over the griffin and looked down at him, a spark from her shattered horn leaping down to sizzle upon his desk. "Among the offenses which I particularly dislike is insubordination.” Gallus sat up straight, his smirk now gone. Tempest looked back to the hippogriff. “Did you have a question or comment?”

"Nope." Silverstream looked at the singed spot on Gallus’ desk and vigorously shook her head. “Not me. No questions. Learning is fun.” She offered a strained smile before adding, "Ma'am."

“I have one,” Smolder asked as Tempest strode back up to the head of the classroom. “How does invading a country, as awesome as that sounds, help us learn about friendship history?”

Tempest’s magic levitated a thick volume from a desk drawer, hoof-written sheets sticking out from between many of the pages. “Twilight’s lesson plan and notes for this course are impressive but her focus is far too confining.” She made a show of flipping through the tome rapidly before slipping it into a desk drawer and resuming her parade. “How can you be expected to excel in the world if you are not fully prepared?” She left the question to hang in the air. When no one dared to offer an answer she continued.

“In order to place friendship history in the proper context we must consider the full course of our past and present, and that includes the parts that many choose to gloss over. Throughout the remainder of this week we will examine some of the most influential and pivotal moments in our collective past. Among them will be examinations of warfare throughout each of your own homelands' history. We will then discuss how to apply the lessons learned from our studies in your own lives.”

Ocellus raised a hoof and Tempest nodded for her to go ahead. “Is that going to be on the final test, ma'am?”

“The only real test is the test of life itself,” the former commander intoned as she plucked a fresh stick of chalk from the desk and began to draw a series of square icons, dashed lines, and topographic features on the board. “Now, listen up and keep your eyes and ears open. Our first lesson is about an often forgotten figure in pony history that predates the banishment of Princess Luna." She finished her precise diagram and concluded it by writing a name at the top of the board. "We’re going to start off by learning about Baron von Clydeswitz.”

~~~~~

Twilight spread her wings wide and mimed a ripping motion in the air above her head. “And then Spike scattered the remaining Collectors and tore open the cages with his bare claws! It was amazing.”

Starlight was trotting alongside Twilight as the pair moved a brisk pace down the central school corridor. Besides the two mares the hallway was empty with faint, muffled chatter filtering through each of the classroom doors that they passed. “Spike did all that?”

“He was under a growth spell that turned him into a fully mature dragon but yes, Spike saved the day.”

“That’s great. I’m glad everything worked out. Where are Spike’s parents now?”

“They moved back to the Dragonlands, but they did promise to come for a visit to Equestria. After their time with the Scale Collectors I don’t think they’ll be eager to be around ponies for a while but Spike was able to convince them that their captors were the exception to pony society, not the rule.”

Starlight nudged her friend. “And I’m sure that having a group of famous ponies there to help rescue them...tipped the scales.”

Twilight rolled her eyes as Starlight giggled at her pun. “Ha ha. So tell me about the students. How did the substitute teachers perform?”

“Everyone followed the lesson guides and outlines that you provided.” Starlight paused and offered a sheepish grin. “Except for one.”

Twilight halted in front of the door that led to the classroom she most often used for lectures. “Oh. Well maybe they needed to deviate for a good reason. I’m sure it all turned out okay. Who was it?”

Starlight did not answer. Instead she pushed open the door to Twilight's usual classroom and revealed Tempest, a nub of chalk held firmly in the grasp of a band slipped over a hoof, gesturing in front of an elaborate diagram expertly drawn upon the chalkboard. She was in mid-sentence and waving the chalk towards a formation of symbols within the diagram.

“-thus Admiral Yamamareto was forced to send her flight of pegasi into the air far sooner than she had planned. What do you think we can learn from this decision?”

Several hooves and claws rose into the air. Tempest nodded to Ocellus and the Changeling shot to her hooves with military precision. “Just as Admiral Yamamareto committed her pegasi team too early, so too can friends commit to promises too quickly. Except in the case of events that are out of your control, if you’re not careful and deliberate in your planning then you could end up disappointing a friend by promising something that you couldn’t do because you acted too rashly, ma’am.”

“Excellent observation.” Tempest glanced sideways and spotted Twilight and Starlight as they stood before the threshold of the classroom. As Twilight took a halting step forward and her hoof touched the floor within the room, Tempest put down her chalk and assumed a rigid stance.

“Class,” she intoned in a firm but reasonably volume. “Headmare Twilight Sparkle on deck.” As a single unit the students all slid from their desks and mimicked the stance of their substitute teacher. Starlight followed Twilight into the room as the Headmare slowly advanced in an almost dreamlike state, glazed eyes taking in the stock-still children and their thousand-yard stares. It was then that the bell sounded to signal the end of classes for the day but no one moved and no one made a sound.

Twilight cleared her throat. “I, um...I think. Miss Berrytwist, can we talk in private?”

“Of course, Headmare.” She clicked her hooves together. “Class. Dismissed.” At once the children broke from their statuesque poses and raced for the door, their eyes and voices returning to a childish and youthful state. As they passed, Twilight caught some of the passing conversations.

“How’s the party planning coming?”
“Outstanding! We’re advancing through the preparations on all fronts.”
“Could you help me on tomorrow’s assignment?”
“Affirmative. You never leave a friend behind.”

Twilight approached Tempest who stood calmly before her, only the barest hint of a smile betraying her emotions. “Welcome back, Twilight,” she finally said after several moments of silence passed between them. “I take it your mission was successful?”

Twilight took several deep breaths before she answered. “Yes. They're safe.”

Tempest nodded. “Good."

"It is good." Twilight's wings began to tremble.

"Family is a very important foundation for those who venture abroad on dangerous missions."

"I agree," Twilight said through gritted teeth.

"And the dragons, although temperamental and argumentative, are beneficial allies.”

“That’s not how friendship works,” Twilight blurted out. She hovered upwards and pointed to the diagram of military formations drawn on the chalkboard. “You can’t just take all the complexities and turn them into military lessons.” She turned and gestured towards the hallway filled with roaming students. “And you certainly can’t turn children at this school into your little soldiers." Dropping back down to the ground, Twilight leveled a slight frown at her chosen substitute. "Friendship isn’t about tactics and battles. I thought you had learned that lesson already.”

“My experience as a commander is not applicable to friendship, you say. Is it not?” Tempest countered with a raised eyebrow. “Twilight, you encouraged me to travel around Equestria and make amends as I spread the word of the Storm King’s defeat. Towns and villages gathered where I could offer apologies to the masses. During my stops I worked with the townsponies to help repair damage done during the occupation. I even reconnected with my foalhood friends. As I carried out my mission I kept a journal of my findings and thoughts, and I began to formulate my own conclusions."

Tempest tapped a hoof against the floor. "Knowing when to push back against someone’s assertions and when to keep silent." Another tap. "Waiting for the most opportune moment to deliver bad news or a motivating compliment." A third tap. "Understanding the nuances of relationships to create opportunities upon which others may capitalize in order to strengthen the bonds between individuals." She sat down.

"Once I returned, I compiled all of my entries just before you asked me to fill in as an instructor in your school.” Her eyes danced behind the steely façade of her military bearing. “So, Headmare, if anyone is to be blamed for teaching your students a valuable lesson about what else friendship can be then that blame rests upon your shoulders.”

Twilight started, stopped, and restarted a word several times before Starlight stepped into the conversation. “And what lesson is that?”

"That without strategy, change is nothing more than a substitution; not true growth."

"So," Twilight began. "What you're trying to say is..."

Starlight hung her head and sighed. "Not another catchphrase."

Tempest looked from Twilight to Starlight and back again before allowing the mirth in her eyes to spread into a small grin as she nodded. “Yes. Friendship is strategic.”