Mail to Tartarus

by SaltWriter the leviapony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Derpy Hooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1513

Everyone deserves to get mail, but how do you deliver to more obscure places? Derpy will find out soon enough.

A slow day at work leads derpy to take up an unexpected route. The delivery itself takes her to the prisons of Tartarus, but a jobs a job.

Published 2019-01-15 00:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-01-15 00:10:02 UTC

Taking over time

Derpy story

The citizens of ponyville went about their daily business, making rounds and chatting with others. One such pony flew overhead, humming a tune to herself and missing the house she had to deliver too. Realizing the mistake, she made a quick turn and flew up to the mailbox, placing the letters inside.
Derpy smiled, then began flying back to the office, pulling a small muffin she had saved for lunch and munching on it. The grey pegasus hummed happily, looking at the various faces and places she had to deliver. Today was a rather slow day at the work, mail being much less chaotic then the holiday that had just went by. Her thoughts recentered as she banged into the door of the mail office, making her fall to the ground in confusion.
She made her way inside, walking to the counter bag in tow. She gave a warm smile to the receptionist, pulling out another muffin from her bag.
“Good afternoon Mister, got any new deliveries that need to be made?” Her voice was slightly slurred from the muffin she was eating, but the dark blue earth pony shook his head.
“Nah, you already made the majority run. You can probably head home if you want.” Derpy nodded, and walked over to the cubbies of the other mail pegasi at her work, finding her own and sliding in her satchel.
“Hey derpy, you got a moment?” The mailmare turned to find one of her bosses standing by the door. The white stallion straightened his dark blue uniform before continuing. “We have a route that opened up and anyone available would be helpful.”
“Ohh, of course Mr. Checkbox. I was going to head home but I can pick this up for a bit more bits.” She grabbed her items from the cubbor and followed him to one of the back doors of the shop.
“Now, this is a bit extreme from your normal route derpy. Are you sure you can handle it?” She quickly gave a salute, and Mr. Checkbox unlocked the door. The two went inside, with the stallion closing the door behind them.
The two were in a simple hallway, leading downward and diagonal from the normal store. Derpy followed silently, their hooves echoing in the dull light provided by the wall bulbs. After a level or two they came to a second door, with the manager unlocking it and stepping inside.
This room was much more advanced, the side wall lined with maps and charts of places derpy had never seen or heard before. The table had various documents and instruments strewn about on it. The right wall by contrast was only decorated with a design similar to a door, pieces of random junk lying in a box near it.
“Umm… what am I supposed to deliver exactly? Their seems to be alot of stuff around here that needs cleaning or shipping.” She walked over to the desk, sliding around some of the photos to look at them.
“None of those things. If you couldn't tell this is where we deliver on a mass scale. But our usual correspondent was injured on his latest exhibition. He should be around here to give you the delivery.” A door in the back of the room opened, the corresponding pony giving a sigh at their arrival.
“Just nursing my wound sir, nothing special.” Derpy turned to find the stallion hobbling in, his front foreleg swollen and placed into a cast. His silver mane flowed down past his wings, the almost black hue of his coat contrasting his white pupils. Derpy gasped and nearly fell over herself at the sight of him.
“You're… you're an alicorn?” The stallion nodded, his horn picking up a bag from the other room and placing it on the table. He walked past the stunned mare, holding out a wing to help her up as he sorted through it.
“Yes, it is my curse to be an alicorn. No family, no fun, only the commitment to my job. Funny how Celestia and Luna make these kinds of decisions, huh?” Derpy grabbed his wing and pulled herself to her hooves, looking over his body.
“But, if you're an alicorn, shouldn't you be fighting for Equestria or something?”
“I am, just not the way you see. They gave me this job to be able to send word quickly and efficiently should worse should happen. Funny to think about, needing an alicorn for the sacred job of delivering stuff.” he pulled out the envelope he was looking for and placed it in her bag with magic.
“this delivery for example is for tirek in Tartarus. Strange to think someone would write to such a dark figure, but the notes written have been innocent enough, so I've been making the rounds. Unfortunately I managed to get this little stain, and now it would be too dangerous for me to go.” The wrapped arm moved up in its sling, a green puss foamed out of part of it, making derpy reel.
“Umm… I'd be happy to help, but how am I supposed to get to Tartarus? I'm no magic user.”
“Don't worry, I'll handle it.” He walked over to the walls with the door, his horn carving light into the sketch. When it was finished, his horn grabbed several items from the box and placed them into a symbol. The shape attached to the door, and an aura formed inside the shape, reveiling the bleak landscape of Tartarus.
“You'll need this to get by the guardian dog. Good luck.” He slid a card into the open hoof of derpy, who stared mesmerized at the magic. She snapped out by a tap to the back, and she moved into the portal.

The air grew opressive as she entered the area, storm clouds shot lightning to nothing as she made her way down the stone path. Before she could get far, heavy steps ran towards her, followed by the three headed dog they belonged too. Derpy squeaked, falling to the ground and holding up the small card.
“m-m-mail delivery t-t-to tirek.” The large dog bent down, the middle head sniffing at the card before backing away. It took derpy a second to realize she was safe, then began walking down the path again. She then found the cage containing the strange creature, and she tapped on the bars.
“Mr. Tirek? I have a letter for you.”
“That time already? Though changing your voice to a mares is a low humor for you.” Tirek turned in his cell, the wrinkled body slowly moving to see derpy. His pale eyes finally glanced at her, making him scoff.
“You aren't the normal pony who delivers my letters. Did something happen to him?”
“Some kind of snake bite. But I'm here to give you your mail.” She reached into her bag and handed him the letter. He took it quickly and broke it open, looking over the contents.
“Hmm… I see my pen pal is doing better with their penmenship. Do you have a letter and a pen?” Derpy nodded, fishing into her bag to pull them out. She slid them into the cage, and tirek then turned away to write.
“He must have been desperate to send you into this place for my mail. That, or you're just a brain dead servent.” Derpy looked away, not noticing tireks hand enchanting the letters he wrote on the paper.
“I just like helping ponies is all, nothing about me being dumb or anything.”
“Yes, the perfect mindset for a servent. If only you had been an unicorn, then I could have left this wreched prison. Alas, I have to contempt with these petty letters.” He handed back the sealed envelope, which derpy placed away into her bag.
“Pleasure doing business with you. I hope you can one day turn around, and maybe then I could get you a muffin.” She then flew back to the portal area, leaving him back in the dark world.

She walked back through the door, the portal closing behind her as she returned. The alicorn was writing some notes on the table, before turning and grabbed his card.
“Thank you for that derpy. I know no one will be able to note this bravery, but just know I appreciate it.”
“It's no worry sir, I hope your leg gets better.” He nodded, then tapped his horn to her head. Derpy quickly fell to the ground asleep, her mind blank from the event. Mr. Checkbox came into the room and placed her on his back.
“I'll be sure to get her home safely. You sure she won't remember a thing?”
“It never failed before, it wont fail now.” He nodded, then walked back up the corridor, leaving the alicorn to his business.

Author's Note

This story is based on a off hand comment made my Dr wolf about how cozy glow could mail letters to Tartarus for tirek. Just giving my two sense on the matter, hope you enjoy.