My Little Pony: Friendship is Feelings
Episode: Episode
Today was a terrifying. Yes.
It's flour going over all the ponies. They did not know that it was very organic. Twilight Sparkle, who was a pony, was moving to help everypony because they were all flour. It seemed that her daily duty had included fixing whatever madness had befallen the poor town. Twilight, accompanied by a cowering Spike, passed several buildings that had been centimeters and woohoo. The unicorn noted the madness that was currently her surroundings, specifically the mind-melting insanity that were the adjectives used in describing them.
"Woohoo? What does that even mean?" she whispered to herself, perplexed. "How can you even use woohoo in that way?"
Suddenly, they accidentally respected a whuppin' guhwhoaaaaaa. An immobilizing screeching noise burst from Thursday, the fabric of everything in tatters and streams. Reality itself collapsed on them, warping and twisting like eagle mathematics—some of which were really walls. Spike yelped as his tail was almost diced by the imploding third dimension, however, was yanked safely out of the way by the unicorn that was in his vicinity.
Twilight, through years of constant practice, had nabbed him before he was eviscerated in the worst way imaginable.
She coughed up a bit of blood, which was very bloody, and wiped her brow. “I… I never want to try that again. It’s like trying to haul an airship through cold honey.” She brushed her bangs and straightened up. “Just give me a moment to rest. That was exhausting."
Spike nodded dutifully and saluted. However, in his moment of gesture, he saw something he never wanted to see. “Uh, Twi… your… your horn…!” Spike choked, backing off as slow as he could. He was not die, not today. Maybe later, though.
“My what? What’s happening, Spike!? W-Wait! D-Don’t leave me here!” she called out as she watched the dragon stumble away in fright, tripping. What had scared him off? Surely it couldn't have been that bad, right? Cautiously, she reached out to her horn. As her hoof neared the base… she felt… she felt…
...wrong.
Twilight was sparkly, in fact, felt scrolls. She was not sure if she liked feeling scrolls. Twilight rather wished to experience brochures. She needed to stop the problem that was making the ponies not okay. So, quickly, she thought straight sophisticated ideas. She chortled, happy to have forgotten apples but then was sad for sarsaparilla. The unicorn refused her head. She needed to focus. Yet again, she reluctantly abandoned obsessin'. Ponyville needed apologies. Her eyes riveted, an idea lived in her head!
Soon enough, she was screaming at her hair to stop the flour. Her hair did not doing because it was hair. That created very much angry in the her. Spike, who was her numbered one assistant, shouted at her from a distance to try and pierce her hysteria, however, her head was Zecora. Because she was Zecora head, she began chanting in a mysterious language that sounded brioche. The ponies continued to be flour because it was organic. The possibilities relished on laundry, that looked cupcakes.
"WHAT IS HAPPENING?" Spike screamed, absolutely terrified that the unicorn he knew so well had turned into a unicorn-zebra hybrid abomination, speaking, somehow, in bread. "SOMEPONY, ANYPONY, HELP. Please!" he pleaded, desperate for anything. He was most likely the only normal thing in the radius of Ponyville. Somehow, in the chaos of it all, he managed to catch a bouncy pink pony. He sighed in relief and rushed towards her with frenzied fervor.
"Pinkie! Thank Celestia you're here! We have to get out of this mess and do something about it!" he cried. "It's taken Twilight already and I'm sure we're next! It's how it always works in my comi—er, books that are mostly pictures!"
But he was too late, alas, for Pinkie Pie was thinking with a purple orange. Pinkie was thinking to Pinkie, why did 22 prophecies harvest magical gas piñatas for ponies? She didn't wondering, she consideration. "Mhm, it's time for tomorrow." Then, it was tomorrow.
The dragon rubbed his eyes, mouth agape from the sheer horror of the sun and moon sandwich rings imitating a supernatural impossibility. They consumed each other, the star and giant space rock melting. It was then time again, same time. The sun sat normally where it had been prior to the uttered words. "I... I have to get out of here!" Spike screeched, scrambling from the madness. It was inconsequential, really, there was no true way for him to escape something that spanned the entirety of the planet. Supposedly, it was the thought that counted. "Somepony still has yet to be unaffected! I can't be the only one still sane!"
Pinkie Pie parties at Spike. "Triangle crumblers," she partied, offering a big, ginormous Scootaloo.
Scootaloo pitched a ball outta here, sorta dumplings. "No, I'm Moon." She then proceeded to trumpets, slapping into Nightmare Moon. Now Scootaloo, who was Nightmare Moon, sampled goatee. She stroked her facial hair. "I like scooters. Give me your mouth, Spike. I know it's flamingos," she laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuughed. Nightmare Moon danced inside a restaurant, following the fleeing the reptile as he tried to search (futily) for an avenue of escape.
As they sped through the building, Spike feebly tried to knock over a potted plant in an attempt to slow her down. He groaned as he tried to topple it, his baby muscles clearly not designed for such an excruciating task. Nightmare Scootaloo paused, defeat munching on her head. All of her amazing moon goddess powers were matched evenly by the cymbals. Eventually, Spike shoved the plant, spilling dirt all over the tiled floor. He huffed and puffed, exhausted by the herculean effort. Paws on his knees, he looked up to his opponent, who was sobbing.
Nightmare Scootaloo had just witnessed the brutal death of a potted plant. She wiped away her tears with a Gilda. She then tossed it away. Spike, horror wrapping his expression, watched the griffon crumple like she was a flimsy garment. Gilda exhaled a stretched "dweeeeeeb" as she compressed, almost as if she was a balloon.
"You will never leave Ponyville!" she said, performing higher-tiered Applejacks. "I will avenge! For it is said on my honor as a wobbly! A crime against my very responsibility!" Her eyes burned with the anger of a really large candle. She stepped over the deceased plant with a sad trombone. Shadows swirled and darkness covered the area, engulfing all in a lightless black. But not too dark, because that would be scary. "Come, face your sin head-on."
The dragon threw his paws defensively over his head, trembling. "Leave me alone! PLEASE I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! I HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED, uh." He paused. So did Nightmare Scootaloo, who threateningly played the harmonica in Spike's direction. Spike stuck out his fingers and began counting, slowly pushing them down as he eliminated activities on his list. He blanched once he realized he had burned through his surprisingly short bucket list... meaning he had no excuse to keep his aggressor from destroying his very being. He could tell Nightmare Scootaloo was getting fireworks from the speed at which her harmonica threw out notes, each played at faster and faster instruments. "Uh... I haven't traveled to Machu Picchu on... um... earthworms... yet. "
He held his breath as the last word left his mouth. He prayed to anypony he could, Celestia, Luna, Cadance, heck, even Nightmare Moon—who was right in front of him—that his excuse would work. He really did like living. It felt good.
Nightmare Scootaloo made a whoosh with her mouth. She gasped shortly after. "How could you have never visited Machu Picchu on earthworms!?"
"I... just... didn't...?"
"We need to fix this." So with her magic shmagic, she made earthworms. "Forward, Spike, this is my accordion: we must leave post-haste!" She stuck a hoof out towards him from her perch on the accordion earthworms.
Spike stared at the outstretched limb, weighing his options. If he didn't take the offer, he might die, which was something he was not that fond about. If he did join her, he might also die, although it would be pretty cool to ride a giant earthworm. He tapped a claw on his skull. What would Rainbow Dash say?
"Overwhelming rainbow crash of harmony!!!" a voice echoed in his head.
That did not help in the slightest. Sighing and arms swinging to the side, he accepted the gesture.
"Y'know what? Fine. I'll come along. At least to see what Machu Picchu is like from the back of an earthworm that also happens to be an instrument."
Nightmare Scootaloo celebrated in Dutch Wood Klompen dancing clogs.
Somewhere far away, but not too far, we gotta be reasonable here, sat a mismatched creature trapped in stone.
To an observer, it may have appeared to be any other old statue. But to those who knew? Discord was very much awake. And also very confused.
“Hmmm? What’s this? I can feel chaos from outside my prison not caused by me! How positively delightful. Er... however… it feels… off,” he murmured to himself. “And I should know when chaos is chaos! I’m the lord of it, after all!”
What was wrong with it? Chaos was chaos after all. How could it feel off?
Then a sensation tingled his lower body. He knew right then and there it was not the chaos. No, that was beautifully perfect in every way. The problem lay with him. He was the one feeling off.
Specifically, he was going to be spiders.
Author's Note
Made from Season 1's (and the first two episodes of Season 2's) transcript.
