This Ain't Compendium: Party

by Xfiles90210

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Trixie
Length: 11291

(reuploaded) TAC are the satirical stories that involve crude humor, cursing and ponies being drunk

Party: Pinkie Pie will hold a party expecting to be the best one ever. However, four particular humans will also attend the event, unleashing unexpected results

Published 2012-08-07 15:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-12 19:01:37 UTC

Party

Party

Written by Xfiles90210

Author’s note: this story, by any matters, is NOT related to Compendium or Compendium Chronicles at all. However, there will be still some references about it (characters, relationships, personalities, etc.). This story was written with the sole purpose of (sick) entertainment. With nothing else to say, have fun reading this satire.

Prologue

Sugarcube Corner, Ponyville – Day XX

The Sun has set and let the Moon rose, showing its bright along with the stars on the sky. However, this night wouldn’t be a quiet night at all; a wild party was just getting started at the pastry shop. Music played at a high volume as stage lights were coming from the shop, colorfully lighting the dark skies. It wasn’t a regular party; it was Pinkie Pie’s party.

Outside, there were plenty of guests waiting to enter. Among them, there were her best friends: Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Rarity. There were also a lot of Ponyvillians awaiting excited; some of them more than others: a plum colored coat with mulberry mane pony with the cutie mark of a bunch of grapes and a strawberry for example; she was looking forward to drink as much of that delicious fruit punch as possible.

There were also some unexpected guests most Ponyvillians never saw before: there were four humans waiting patiently from a distance. Well, only three of them.

“I can’t believe I agreed with this stupid idea, Dempsey” one of them said while he was holding a bottle filled with vodka “look at all those fucking horses. What’s the fun with that? They’re not even dead and wandering around!”

“Shut up Nikolai” another human replied as he showed his fist to his drunken partner “t’wasn’t my idea anyway” he turned to his right, facing another partner “hey Richtofen! This was your stupid idea, so kick us off!”

“I’ll kick you off if you don’t shut your mouth” the third one replied “this is just part of mein plans” he laughed maniacally “their spleens will be mine!” he stopped laughing when some ponies turned around and looked at him with a weird glimpse “I mean, hey, it will be a fun... party. Ja! Party!”

“A pran you never cared to exprain” the fourth person, Takeo, sentenced.

“Patience is a virtue, Takeo” Richtofen replied with a smile “at least there are no zombies nor we all are trapped inside a small, dark, sexy room.”

“What?”

“Who wants drink?” Nikolai interrupted.

“Russian has no honor!” Takeo yelled at him.

“Shut up ass maggots!” Dempsey said as he smacked them “this better be quick or I kick your ass, Richtofen!”

“Just calm down; it wasn’t mein fault the stupid MDT ran out of power and now the closest power source is inside that building” he pointed at the pastry shop.

“About time you finarry said what you are up to, Richtofen”

“I drink to that!” Nikolai interrupted again as he took another swig from his bottle.

Dempsey was about to yell at the drunken person when suddenly the pastry’s door opened and a pony with pink coat and mane walked through with a speaker. With a big grin in her face she said happily:

“Welcome to my party everypony! I’m so happy you all could come here. I hope you’re ready for a night full of fun, games and tons of surprises!” the other ponies cheered as Pinkie Pie took a big breath “so, are you ready for the best party!?” the crowd cheered even louder “I can’t hear you!”

“That horse surely is more annoying than Tak throwing up” Nikolai mumbled “loud noise and being drunk makes Nikolai have pain in ears. Reminds me of screamer zombies... and ex-wives.”

As the crowd was cheering louder than before, a Unicorn with azure coat, bluish gray mane and purple eyes was just watching, doing. She already spotted the particular guests, but she didn’t care much about their presence.

“Finally Trixie will have her time to show these ponies who’s the most magical unicorn” she thought “last time Trixie got unlucky, but now nothing will get on her way.”

The pink earth pony, excited, widely opened the door and let everypony in. The first ones to enter were her best friends, then everypony else and finally the four humans.

“Welcome to my party! Have fun and enjoy!” she said and then she laughed.

The story

Inside the pastry there were a lot of decorations; balloons, streamers, a table with many kinds of snacks and beverages, tables and chairs all around the pastry and finally a big piñata in the center. Even Nikolai was surprised.

“I wish my horses could do that” he said to himself “well, at least one of my ex-wives. Bitches forgot birthday present” he took a swig of his bottle “then bitches forgot how to breathe.”

“Shut the herr up and focus, drunken dog” Takeo sentenced “Richtofen, what are we going to do exactry?”

“Nothing” he only said.

“What do you mean by “nothing”?”

“I mean I can do this by myself” he pulled a small sensor out from his pocket “while I find the energy source, you can go explore” he chuckled “or even have fun with ze ponies. Oh, ze ponies!”

“Craptastic” Dempsey said upset “now am I supposed to just sit there? Right now it would be nice to have some meat sacks to shoot at. At least I wouldn’t get bored.”

“Ze doctor doesn’t care” Richtofen said sarcastically as he separated from the group “just try to not to blow it up.”

Twilight Sparkle, a purple unicorn with purple mane and eyes, heard them and looked at them strangely. She then approached to her friend Pinkie and said worried:

“Hey Pinkie, I want to ask you something.”

“Mmph?” she answered as her mouth was full of cake, she swallowed it and then said “what’s up, Twi?”

“Where do these, erm...” she thought for a moment “creatures come from?” she pointed at Nikolai as he was pointing at a gray Pegasus’ cutie mark and laughing at it.

“I found them on the Everfree Forest this afternoon.”

“This afternoon? And did you invite them?”

The pink pony nodded her head quickly and took another bite of her cake before answering “you’ll see they’re funny” she pointed at Richtofen “especially that one. It’s fun when he talks alone in a strange language” she then pointed at Dempsey “or that one too; he breaks the fourth wall like me!”

“The fourth what? I expect them to not to be dangerous. Their language is harsh and their manners are...”

“Don’t worry Twi and have fun!” her friend interrupted her as she gave her a piece of cake “or even better! Become a friend of them too!”

The purple unicorn sighed “all right. I trust you, Pinkie” she then looked at Richtofen at walked to him. Meanwhile, the azure unicorn was looking at her closely and watching all her moves.

“Make a mistake, Twilight, make a single mistake and give Trixie the chance to rise and shine as it should have happened before” she thought as she smiled and sat on a chair in the corner, ensuring nopony else would spot her.

Meanwhile, Dempsey and Nikolai went to the snack table in search for something to eat as Takeo sat on the nearest free chair he saw.

“Hey Dempsey, those horses are surprising me even more than good quality vodka. Just look at that tasty...”

“What? You were saying something?” he interrupted as he moved away from Nikolai after he grabbed some cupcakes “sorry, but I’m starving.”

“Ahh fuck you” he yelled, “anyway, this drink looks delicious. I wonder if it has vodka” he took the spoon and tasted the contents of the bowl, “darn, just water” he looked at his bottle, then at the bowl full of punch and finally at his bottle again. “Guess Nikolai will save the day from boredom” he said to himself as he was emptying the contents of the bottle in the beverage.

“What are you doing?” Nikolai heard and accidentally dropped the whole bottle; he turned around and saw a pony looking at him upset.

“I was just... erm...”

“Nopony or no one else takes a drink before Berry Punch; that is a rule” she sentenced as she approached to the bowl “you should know it, stranger.”

“Yeah, right” Nikolai said sarcastically as he took his bottle out of the bowl, being careful not to let her see it “I bet you know nothing about drinks, horse.”

“First, I am not a horse; I’m a pony” she said upset “and second, I know plenty of fruit based beverages. Even my cutie mark shows it.”

“Cutie mark” he laughed “sounds like girly shit” he said as he turned around “I would stay and chat with a horse, but I feel like I’m getting sober up again” he then walked away.

“How rude” she said and then turned to the bowl, took a cup and filled it with the punch mixed with vodka “at least this will relax me” she smiled as she sipped it “mmph, it has a different and stronger taste; maybe Pinkie added more fruit and less sugar this time.”

Meanwhile, Dempsey was looking for a table where to sit. He then sat on one, not caring about the other ponies sitting in there.

“Hey! That place is reserved” a blue Pegasus with rainbow colored mane yelled “go find a place somewhere else, stranger.”

“Guess what?” Dempsey replied with his mouth full of food “I don’t give a fuck.”

“What did you just say?” she replied angrily “move out or I’ll have to hurt you.”

“Just try it” he said while he was still eating, he then pulled out a shotgun “do something funny and my boomstick will have a little talk with your brain.”

“You don’t scare me!” she yelled again. She then felt a hoof on her shoulder.

“Calm down, sugarcube” it was Applejack, an orange earth pony with golden mane “it’s ‘kay. Ah can take a chair and sit together with the new guest. What’cha say?”

“Mmph, fine” she replied as she calmed down “but the next time he insults me, I’m gonna...”

“Dashie.”

“Fiiine!” She replied louder to her friend as she crossed her hooves and evaded her sight. Applejack took a chair from another table, got it closer and then sat down. She looked at Dempsey.

“So, where do ya come from, buddy?”

“Far away” he only said as he was still eating.

“How far?”

“Too far; now shut up and let me eat.”

“Y’know” the orange pony replied as she tried to keep calmed “ya could just have some manners. At least try not t’curse.”

“And what would happen if I did?” he said as he cleaned his mouth with the tablecloth “I do what I want ‘cause I’m Dempsey; the most badass meat sack killer.”

“Don’t you dare to talk to my friend like that!” the rainbow mane Pegasus replied angry “or else I will teach you some manners the hard way.”

Dempsey laughed and said sarcastically “Yeah right, a lil’ stupid pegasus full of rainbows will hurt a veteran marine. Give me a break and get the fuck out.”

Rainbow Dash tried to rise from her seat and hit Dempsey with her front hooves, but then again Applejack stopped her.

“Dash, just calm down! He’s not worth yer time.”

“Didn’t you hear how he called me?”

“Ah sure did, but do not lower yerself to his level.”

He yawned and kept eating “you keep saying this like if y’all even had a chance. Even my four year old daughter could beat you up nicely.”

“Ye talk too much” she replied as she put her right hoof on the table “if ye can beat me, then ah’ll say y’are stronger.”

“All right bitch, if that’s what you want” he lifted his right sleeve and put his arm on the table “this will shut you up” he said as he grabbed the orange pony’s hoof.

“Show him, Applejack!” the rainbow Pegasus yelled, trying to cheer her friend up.

Meanwhile, Takeo was sitting on a table alone looking at his partners and feeling shame of their lack of honor.

“It’s getting boring here. Takeo needs action, Takeo needs combat to keep honor” he thought. He closed his eyes to meditate while he was waiting, but he opened them when he heard someone else sat on the other side. He saw a yellow Pegasus with pink mane smiling shyly.

“What do you want?” he asked in a serious tone.

“I... um” she said in almost an unbearable voice “I saw you were alone and I... just...”

·”Just what?” he interrupted as raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing” she said as she evaded her sight “I thought you were... um... shy as...”

“Shy? I’m just sitting here getting bored as I wait. Did I answer your questions now?”

“I... um” she couldn’t finish her sentence and she ran away.

“The herr is wrong with those creatures?” he mumbled as he took a cigarette out of his pocket and lighted it “at reast we wirr be out of here quickry.”

As Takeo was smoking and Dempsey was arm wrestling with Applejack, Richtofen was looking around with his sensor in hand.

“Now, if mein calculations are correct, this thingie is fucked up and needs a repair” he thought as he threw it to the ground “what a shame, next time I will design one that works with spleens” he laughed “ze spleens!”

“Um, excuse me” Twilight said as she interrupted his line of thought “but have we been introduced yet?”

He turned around and looked at the unicorn without showing any feelings; he analyzed her with his sight and then he tried his best to fake a smile.

“Oh sorry, where are my manners?” he extended his hand “Doctor Richtofen at your service.”

“Erm” she hesitated on extending her hoof “my name is Twilight sparkle. I’m Pinkie’s friend.”

“Aren’t everyone here her friends?” he said “it’s obvious she invited them all.”

“True, and that leads to another question: Since when are you Pinkies’ friends?”

“Oh, that’s simple. I arrived in a strange smelly forest near here just today and coincidentally she found us. We had a lil’ chat and she invited us” he got closer to the unicorn “wouldn’t be nice to reject such invitation, isn’t it?”

“The Everfree Forest” she mumbled “and what about the others, are they your friends?”

He laughed and then said “Nein, they’re with me only because they’re useful. You wouldn’t understand though, I bet your little primitive brain would not compute such complexity of mein plans” he poked her head cockily.

“Don’t talk about what you don’t know about” Twilight replied indignantly “I have spent my whole life reading and studying about every subject. From history to magic, from astronomy to zoology.”

“You wanna bet who’s the smartest here?” Richtofen said as he chuckled “I mean, if you know how to do math and count how many times you will lose against ze doctor.”

The purple unicorn got angry “you keep teasing me and you will regret about it, Richtofen.”

“Ding ding ding ding!” he yelled in a high pitched voice “she remembered mein name! What will she earn as a prize? Only shame!” he laughed.

“It is on!” she sentenced upset.

As the unicorn and the human begun their struggle, the azure unicorn kept looking at them with patience, smiling.

“Now she’s fighting against one of those strange creatures; better for Trixie. Soon, your title as the most magical unicorn will end as Trixie’s ascension begins.”

She stopped smiling and her line of thought was cut as she suddenly felt a poke on her flank. Her eyes widened, she turned around and saw Nikolai poking her.

“Just what do you think you are doing? Get away you nasty creature!”

“What creature?” he answered as he turned around. The unicorn put a hoof on her face “No need to get upset comrade. Here, have a drink.”

“Comrade? Trixie doesn’t even know you.”

“You can’t fool Nikolai” he said in a mocking tone “your butt mark reminds me of the hammer and sickle.”

“My what!?” she replied shocked “watch your words, fool.”

He pointed at her cutie mark “that wand looks like the sickle and that moon looks like the hammer” he stopped and thought for a moment “wait wait wait, I think it was the other way around” he laughed “I am too drunk to think. Anyway, comrades must stay together, especially when there’s vodka to drink.”

The unicorn sighed “that’s a cutie mark, not a butt mark. And again, it doesn’t look at all like the hammer and sickle you talk about.”

“I guess you’re right. You’re not even red. Heh heh, that blue color of yours reminds me of inferior capitalism.”

“Inferior, uh?” she replied “Trixie doesn’t know what do you mean exactly, but she is far superior from everypony and everyone else.”

“Oh really?” he laughed as he took another sip from his bottle “Nikolai is best in plenty of tasks, like drinking... erm... killing, repairing, running... erm, did I already say drinking?”

“Oh for the love of... just leave Trixie alone.”

“Okay okay, sheez” he said and mumbled “but I’m still better than you.”

“No, you’re not” she said overconfident “anything you can do, Trixie can do better.”

“Anything?” his eyes shined, he grinned widely and he pulled another bottle out of his backpack “I bet my balls you can’t drink more than me.”

“That’s” she hesitated “that’s a stupid contest.”

“Heh heh, I knew you’ll forfeit quickly” he chuckled as he took the bottle, but Trixie stopped him before he could put it back.

“Trixie never said that” she sighed “bring it on, drunken creature.”

“All right! Things started to get fun” he put the bottle on the table “let’s play one shot, one kill.”

“What is it about?” she asked as she saw disgusted the bottle containing the alcoholic drink.

“Drink shot of vodka faster than me and you win round, get it?”

“Deal.”

“Oookay” he looked around “aww fuck, I forgot to bring glasses” Trixie sighed and took two empty glasses with her magic, putting them on the table “oh shit. I gotta learn to do it someday.”

“To use magic?” she asked.

“I mean your horn thingy glowed” he laughed “I’d do tons of funny things if I could glow my fingers. Especially the middle one.”

The azure unicorn took a deep breath “all right, let’s get over with this stupidity.”

“All right, all right; sheez” Nikolai filled both glasses with the beverage “you’re not even drunk and you’re already annoying” he took his glass as Trixie did the same with her magic “on three, we begin: one, two, three!”

Nikolai quickly drank it as Trixie looked at hers with a disgusted face. She closed her eyes and drank it all with a single swig.

“Ugh, its taste is horrible” she sentenced as she coughed.

“Heh heh, you lost. What do I win?”

She looked at him indignantly. She took the bottle with her magic and filled both glasses again “Trixie will never lose against someone like you. Make it two out of three.”

“Ookay” he chuckled and he took the glass “more vodka for me”. Both drank their own shots as fast as they could.

The party went just as Pinkie Pie expected. Everypony were having fun on their way. Some were dancing, others were talking and laughing and even some ponies were running around. The party passed uneventful for the first couple of hours.

Time passed quickly and it was about to reach midnight. The scenario was completely different now. The punch, mixed with Nikolai’s vodka, was drunk by every guest; even the human ones and the fillies. There was still some of the beverage on the table though; the pink overactive pony made enough of it to last for the whole night. Some ponies felt sick and threw up as other ponies begun to do things they thought they would never do.

On the left side of the building, two mares, one with cream coat and dark blue with pink mane was making out on the table with her best friend: a unicorn with mint green coat and grayish cyan with white mane. Some ponies were looking at them disgusted, as other ponies started to feel “funny” while they were watching such scene.

On the right side of the building, a gray Pegasus with golden mane was discussing angrily with a floating balloon. She was screaming and cursing as she awkwardly tried to hit it.

Meanwhile, the humans took a twist on their interactions with the ponies. Nikolai, who started a drinking contest with Trixie, was still on it. Not only that, Berry Punch and Rarity joined them.

“Oookay” he hiccupped “thirty one out of sixty sounds legit to me” he said as he was filling the four glasses “but if I win, then you will pay me all this vodka!” he yelled as he pointed at the empty bottles on the ground.

“Just shut up and serve, drunken” the azure unicorn replied as she was dwelling her words “The great, powerful, magnificent and... erm...” she poked the white fancy unicorn “how was the rest of the title?”

“Who cares?” she said, showing high anxiety on her words “you’re on last place anyway” she laughed and then she covered her mouth, trying not to throw up again.

“I think it was the small and pitiful Trixie. You two know nothing about how to drink” Berryshine interrupted them as she smiled “Just watch and learn, mares.”

The three mares and Nikolai lifted their own glasses filled with the alcoholic content.

“On three” he yelled “three!” the quartet drank the shots. Once again, Nikolai won.

“Oh shoot!” Rarity said angrily as she stomped her hoof on the table “I still can’t quite understand how you do that, Nikolai.”

“What a disgrace, it can’t be possible I got beaten in a drinking contest” the purple earth pony said to herself “may be the first time it happens, but it still hurts.”

“It happens” Nikolai replied as he put his hand on her shoulder “you know, for being a horse with girly colors, you earned Nikolai’s respect.”

“What about us?” Rarity replied quickly.

“Maybe the commie blue one” he chuckled “but not you.”

“Why?” he pointed at his boots, smeared with vomit “what? it was an accident.”

“It happened twice” he stared at Rarity “you just don’t know how to drink.”

The white unicorn stared back at him. She then felt scared when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

“Sister? What are you doing?”

She gulped and turned to her slowly “nothing important dear. I was just... erm...” she looked around nervously “oh look at the time! Time to go to bed, Sweetie.”

“But I want to stay here with my friends. Party is not over yet!” she then smelt her sister’s alcoholic breath “wait, are you drinking clumsy water?”

The white Unicorn stood up and, swaying, approached to her sister “not of your concern, darling. Now go to bed.”

“Mom’s going to know this!” she replied in a higher tone and with courage.

“You would not dare” Rarity started to get annoyed.

“Yes I will! Mom said we can’t drink clumsy water. You will be grounded!”

Her sister closed her eyes, took a deep breath, opened her eyes and put her hoof on her little sister’s forehead.

“Sweetie, if you do that” she changed her tone to a menacing one “I will kick your fucking ass out of Ponyville, get it?” her sister looked at her shocked “get it!?” she nodded her head and ran away from her. The purple mane unicorn turned back to the table and sat on her chair again “fillies those days.”

The other three were looking at her shocked. Nikolai filled the four glasses again “Now that was unexpected” he said as he handed the glass to Rarity “good thing I wasn’t that lil’ horse. She was scared shitless.”

“Shut up and keep drinking” she replied and then she emptied her glass on a quick swig.

While the quartet kept drinking, Dempsey was still with Aplejack and Rainbow Dash. They were no longer struggling to see who’s the strongest; alcohol made them change faster than they could imagine.

“You know what?” Dempsey said as he was looking at the empty glass “I wasn’t honestly expecting any of this” he laughed “I mean, it’s funny. Just look, a marine, a Pegasus and a talking pony with southern accent are sitting on the same table” he looked at both ponies “it has no logic, no fucking logic. It’s like a story with a completely random plot.”

“Tell me about it” the orange pony replied as she was holding her glass, half full with the mixed drink “just like grandma says: when ya think ya saw everythin’, bam! Life hits ya hard with an unexpected surprise” she smiled “at least this time we don’t have t’defeat an ancient evil with the elements of harmony, right Dash?” she poked her friend.

“Whatever you say, AJ” she hiccupped “why do I feel so dizzy anyway? It’s like if I am flying and doin’ tricks” she put her face on the table “doin’ tricks while expecting the Wonderbolts would see me, gasp in surprise and let me join” she laughed ironically “that’s.... that’s actually stupid. I wasted my time on improving them while thinking it would make them accept me.”

“Whoa, slow down cupcake” Dempsey replied as he took the jar full of punch and filled her glass “don’t start making drama. I already have enough with Nikolai and his ex-wives.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just I...” she suddenly, and with no apparent reason, burst into tears.

“Aw, don’t cry sugarcube. It’s all right, no need t’be sad” the orange pony smiled and offered her hoof to her friend.

“Ah fagtastic” he thought as he lifted his head and closed his eyes “god, if you can hear me, then help me get out of this awkwardness... And by god, I mean you author! You motherfucker just love to make them all cry, isn’t it?” He opened his eyes and turned to the rainbow mane Pegasus.

“I’m sorry AJ, I don’t know what’s happening. I’m just” she sobbed “sad. I never felt like this before.”

“Ah know what will make ya feel better, much better” she smiled seductively and, before Rainbow Dash could react, kissed her in her mouth.

“Applejack, what are you...?”

“Shhh” she put her hoof on her mouth “just let yerself go” she closed her eyes and kissed her again. This time, it lasted longer. Their lips were gracefully moving as their tongues were touching.

“First drama and now this” Dempsey thought “fuck you, author! Fuck this story and fuck my life!”

Applejack turned to Dempsey and looked at him with a subtle smile “ya like what ya see, right?”

“What?”

She turned back to her friend; her face was blushed and her sadness was gone. The orange pony cuddled he friend’s body slowly from up to down. The rainbow mane Pegasus moaned in pleasure as she was watching her friend’s hooves going through her body slowly to her pelvis.

“This is so wrong” Dempsey said as he filled his glass and took a quick swig. He then looked down to his pants “and worst of all, being lonely for two years isn’t helping.”

The orange pony was looking carefully at his moves while she was stroking her friend. She smiled, got closer to her Pegasus friend and whispered in her ear “Ah think he wants some, what’cha say?”

“I think...” she moaned “I think we may give him a chance.”

“Hey Dempsey” Applejack said seductively “ya wanna join us?” she winked “ya’ll like it.”

“What?” he answered shocked “no! Who would be so sick to want to get laid with a pony?”

“Is that so?” he saw how she whispered to her friend again and gulped when both looked at him with a provocative face and approached to him.

“This is not good, not good at all” he mumbled.

“Maybe this will change your mind” Dash said to his ear as she put her hoof on his right leg “you may be fierce, but now you’re under our will” she licked his cheek “so, it’s up to you if you want to do this the easy way or the hard way.”

“Ah think he’s already in the mood for the hard way” Applejack looked at his pants “he really loved what he just saw.”

“Oh really?” she put her hooves on Dempsey’s face and made him turn to her, being face to face “then I guess we must find a place with more... privacy.”

Applejack chuckled “mah farm is perfect for that.”

“I’m not going to go anywhere with you, freaking horny bitches!” he tried to stand up from his chair, but the blue Pegasus stopped him “what the hell are you going to do with me?” he asked nervously.

“You know that well” she replied as she put her lips close to his “it’s time to punish you for the kind of treatment you gave to us” she turned to Applejack “hey AJ, tie him up!”

“The fuck?” he felt how his toes were put together; he tried to force the rope and break it, but his drunken state prevented him from doing that.

“Just like a rodeo” the orange pony smiled while holding the rope on her mouth “a hot one. Come on, Rainbow Dash! Let’s have some fun and punish him at the same time”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Dempsey screamed as he was being dragged through the pastry towards the exit. He tried to grab several furniture in a futile attempt to resist “Tak, Nikolai or even Richtofen, help me you motherfuckers!” he shouted as he grabbed the door’s threshold firmly. No one came to help him “god dammit!”

“Stop resisting already. You know you want it” the rainbow mane Pegasus said. She got close to him, turned around and tickled him with her tail. Applejack took advantage of the situation and pulled him out of the pastry. Both ponies were running as they were grinning widely and thinking what would they do to their new “toy”.

Meanwhile, Richtofen and Twilight were having a heated discussion. Like everyone else, they were under the effects of the alcohol.

“... and that’s why Wehrmacht technology is, by far, better than your simple magic” he smiled mockingly.

“No no no” she replied as her words were dragged “you’re wrong on every way. First, you use it for destruction and not for welfare. Second, it’s pretty clear Equestria is more advanced than your land simply because we do not need war to improve our lives. And third... erm...” she put her hoof on her forehead “Why was I saying that?”

He laughed “Silly unicorn, it’s clear you cannot deal alcohol properly. You’re forgetting things already, what a shame.”

“Alcohol? But I never drink alcohol” he pointed at the punch jar “oh, but how did it... Pinkie Pie would never serve this.”

“Your stupidity knows no bounds” she looked at him angrily “just think, who would be retard enough to do that?” he said sarcastically “maybe the drunktard I have as a partner has the answer.”

“Of course!” she stood up quickly, but sat down again after she felt dizzy “Ow, I don’t like this feeling.”

“And that’s still nothing. Just wait until tomorrow and you won’t want to see the sunlight nor hear loud noises.”

“Why?”

“Ever heard of a hangover?” he chuckled “don’t worry, you’ll get to know it personally soon.”

The purple unicorn looked at him confused. Since she never drank before, she was still not used to it. Richtofen filled her glass again.

“You may be not as smart as me. But hey! At least you’re smarter than those monkeys I have as partners” he thought for a moment “maybe you could be useful; I mean maybe you could go with me and know about the wonders of human technology.”

“I don’t know. I need to consider every possible factor and decide if it’s worthy.”

“Come on, you stupid pony” he thought “your intelligence will be useful for my next objective. At least until you get caught and die” he was about to reply when Pinkie Pie suddenly sat next to him.

“Having fun, Ed?” she asked him and put her hoof on his shoulder.

“Again with that name; ze doctor hates it.”

“Ed?” Twilight smiled mischievously “I like that name. Really, it fits for someone who thinks he’s smarter than the Princess’ most faithful student.”

“Now that you mention the word “Princess” I just remembered something” she looked at her watch “silly me, I almost forgot my very special guest will be here in no time!”

“You mean Celestia will come here?” she yelled nervously “but... but I would be ashamed if she sees me in this state!”

“Not her, silly!” she grinned widely “I meant Nightmare Night’s main reason.”

“So very confusing” Richtofen said as he tried to understand what they were talking about.

“Well, duh! Princess Luna was kind and accepted my invitation.”

“You’re kidding” the purple unicorn said terrified.

“Nu-uh!”

“Pinkie, she can’t see us like this” she pointed at the other ponies “She is going to get bothered with all of us!”

The pink pony looked at them “I don’t see anything wrong.”

“They’re all drunk!”

“Really? I thought they were only having fun like they never had before.”

She sighed “Look Pinkie, we need to... no, we must fix this situation before the princess arrive.”

Pinkie laughed “Oh Twi, don’t be so silly! She will be here in less than five minutes.”

“Five minutes!?” she was so shocked she almost fell from her chair “Oh my gosh, this is not happening. Think, Twilight, think!”

Richtofen looked at her strangely and then turned to Pinkie “Is she always like that? She’s kind of creepy if you ask me.”

“Only when she knows Celestia or Luna are coming.”

“Really?” he asked, showing great interest in his words.

She nodded her head “I think she gets very stressed since she’s under their care. That and because she wants everything to be perfect before they arrive.”

“I see” he chuckled and turned to the nervous unicorn “hey Twilight, need a hand?”

The purple unicorn looked at him surprised “would you bother to help me even with barely knowing each other?”

“You overanalyze everything, don’t you?” he then said with a high pitch tone “no matter, I was just kidding.”

Pinkie Pie couldn’t help but to laugh at Richtofen’s joke as Twilight looked at them upset. Without saying a word, she trotted to the pastry’s door to wait for Princess Luna.

“Hey Twi!” the pink pony yelled “where are you going? Party’s over here and it’s not over yet” the purple unicorn ignored her and trotted out of the building “now she’s gone; aw, what a shame.”

“Shame?” Richtofen said loudly as he filled both glasses with the punch “screw her, she doesn’t know how to have fun anyway” he laughed and then sipped from his glass “It may be just me, but I think you have lots of surprises just like that little brat who took control over...” he fell silent for a moment “I mean, hey! It’s a fun party!”

“You know what? You’re right, who needs a kind of friend who doesn’t agree with inviting a royal princess?” she replied and she drank the contents of her glass “but, maybe it’s because she’s an egghead and not-so-spontaneous. I don’t blame her, nopony’s perfect.”

“First logical words I’ve heard from a pony, how wunderbar!”

Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle was outside the building looking at all directions, waiting for the royal chariot. The cold of the night made her shiver and cross her hooves; and the fact of being slightly drunk didn’t help at all.

“Brrr, it’s too cold outside. I hope the princess doesn’t take long to arrive, it wouldn’t be nice to catch a cold” she thought as she was rubbing her hooves “maybe she was too busy and she couldn’t come here. Gosh, the things I would give for that to happen.”

Suddenly, a clap of thunder was heard above her and the clouds separated, giving way to a dark chariot lead by two Pegasus royal guards. Princess Luna, who was on the chariot smiled when she spotted Twilight. She made a sign for the guards to stop and jumped off it. She approached to the young unicorn, unfolded her wings and extended her right hoof.

“Greetings, Twilight Sparkle” she announced “I, Princess Luna, shall honor this village with her presence in your friend’s informal reunion” she looked at her eyes “so be good and lead me to the place where the reunion is being held.”

The purple unicorn looked at her nervously as she gulped. Even though she was cold, she felt a cold sweat slowly falling from her forehead.

“Twilight Sparkle” the dark blue winged unicorn announced louder “What is stopping you from doing such task?”

“Oh, but Princess Luna, the party, erm...” she hesitated and looked around with her eyes, hoping to find an excuse “it was cancelled. Yeah, it was cancelled” she smiled nervously as she thought how stupid that excuse was.

“Cancelled?” Luna replied serious “and what is that loud sound of modern music I am listening to right now? Are you trying to fool me?”

“No no no no!” she said scared “I mean, erm, I was...” she shut her mouth when the princess stared at her “it was just a joke” she tried to laugh “everypony loves a good joke, right?” she unconsciously took a step back “it’s right at the pastry shop, Princess; please follow me.”

The winged unicorn looked at her strangely as she wasn’t expecting such behavior. The purple unicorn, while still trying to smile, turned around and walked to the pastry shop. She opened the door as she was preparing to be nagged by the princess when she notices the poor state everypony was.

“Here we are” she said shakily.

The princess opened her eyes and mouth widely as she saw the scenario: first, she spotted the corner where Nikolai, Trixie, Rarity and Berry Punch were drinking as there were dozens of empty bottles on the floor around them. Then she saw Richtofen showing his handgun to Pinkie Pie as she looked at it with shiny eyes. She turned to her left and noticed a drunken Takeo hugging Spike as he was mumbling things about honor and dragons. She heard weird sounds above her and turned her head to the source of it; she stepped back as she barely evaded the vomit a gray Pegasus puked before she flew to the wall and collapsed on a table, breaking it.

“Twilight Sparkle” she said as she was still looking around shocked.

“Yes, Princess?”

“What in the name of decency is happening here? Who let you drink alcohol?”

“I... I don’t know” she replied with fear.

“You know it is strictly banned on non-holiday events” she looked at Richtofen “and how come there are three humans here?”

“Three what? I mean, I don’t know how or why it turned out like this” she looked around and quickly pointed at Nikolai “he was drunk since the beginning, he may know it.”

“Very well” she started to walk towards the drunken Russian, being careful to not to step on vomit “expect news from my sister, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Oh no” she thought “not Princess Celestia. She will surely make me her student no more after this.”

Meanwhile, Nikolai was laughing loudly after he won another round. Rarity was sipping from her glass when she saw the dark blue mare approaching. On her shock, she spitted the beverage on Trixie’s face.

“Hey!” she yelled “the hay is wrong with you? Now Trixie is covered in liquor now.”

“I guess she’s all wet now, get it Nikki?” Berry Punch commented as she poked Nikolai and then she laughed.

“Heh heh, that was good joke, I drink to...” he replied and he was interrupted by Rarity.

“Pri... Pri...” her state and her shock was so intense she couldn’t talk.

“Pee?” the azure unicorn replied with a disgusted face “what in the? Just go to the mare’s room if you can’t hold on any longer!”

“Pri... Princess Luna!” she finally yelled out. Berry Punch and Trixie turned around shocked as Nikolai was still sipping his glass. The winged unicorn stood in front of them, staring at Nikolai.

“So you’re the one who brought alcohol in here” she said in a loud, serious tone at him “I command you to stand up and tell me your name, human!”

The drunk human turned around to see who was talking and grinned mischievously “and who do you think you are to talk me like that, horse? Only wife can yell at me” he burped “luckily she’s not here.”

“Nikolai!” the purple earth pony interrupted him “She is Princess Luna, the supreme ruler of Equestria and all that live and breaths within.”

“What a cool story” he sipped his glass again “but I don’t give a shit” he stood up from his chair, standing face to face with the winged unicorn.

“Show more respect, human, and say your name and reasons of spreading your poisonous drink in here.”

“My name’s Nikolai and I don’t know what you mean by poison. All I have is vodka and a gun” he tempted his pockets “Oh, and a knife, a big one.”

“Oh Princess” the white unicorn said as she lifted her left hoof “Can I say a few words before you two continue?”

The dark blue equine looked at her for a moment and said “just be quick.”

“Of course I will” she lifted an empty clean glass from a close table, filled it with Nikolai’s vodka and offered it to the Princess “why don’t we just sit back and talk in a more relaxed way. For now, noise is the least thing I’d like to have close.”

“How dare you?” she commanded “such insolence shall not be tolerated” the fancy Unicorn, shocked, dropped the glass and widened her eyes in fright “your punishment will be decided later” she turned back to Nikolai and got upset when she noticed he was napping “human!” she yelled.

“Uh?” he opened his eyes “what now!?”

“What do you have to say in your defense?”

“Vodka is best drink” he took his glass and drank the rest of its contents “oh, and royalty always like to be the party poppers of the town. Not very surprising this nagging comes from a so called supreme ruler” he said as he poked her chest “reminds me of Stalin.”

“Enough!” she yelled “I want you, and by you I mean the three humans here, to stay away from Equestria before the sun rises.”

“Or else?” he replied defiantly.

“You don’t know what I’m capable of; do not even try to test my already depleted patience” she turned around and walked away to the building’s exit.

“Erm, Nikolai” Berry Punch said “I think you screwed it well to make her that angry.”

“So what?” he replied as he fulfilled his glass “she said I have until sun rises. I still have plenty of time.”

“You must be very brave to stand against her like that” Trixie said “or very stupid. Trixie’s honestly impressed.”

“I’m afraid it is my entire fault. Why did I have to offer her a drink?” Rarity said nervously “now she’ll surely kick me out of Ponyville.”

“Yeah, karma’s a bitch, isn’t it?” Berry Punch replied with a grin.

“What do you mean?”

“You scared off your little sister, now the Princess herself scared you off. I may not know much about justice, but you deserved it” The fancy unicorn put her head on the table, she was nervous and frightened at the same time. She lifted her head when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Calm down, Rarity” Nikolai said while trying his best to smile “I’m sure she will forgive you.”

“Really?” she said with hope.

“Well” he hesitated “no. But hey! At least it was worthy. We are having good time, no?”

“I guess you’re right. Tell me, how do you do to pretend you do not care about anything? Sometimes it would be much easier to be like that.”

“It’s easy” he replied as he took the bottle and filled her glass “If it’s not vodka or killing zombies, then I simply don’t give a fuck.”

“Enough talking!” the azure unicorn interrupted “Trixie demands you to forget this incident and continue with our drinking.”

Nikolai laughed and, before they continued, he whispered to Rarity’s ear “y’know, three hours ago she used to say it was stupid and now look at her. See how easy it is to follow my advice?” the white unicorn nodded her head as she smiled at him.

Meanwhile, Takeo was holding the little purple dragon with green scales as he was telling him stories about his land.

“And that’s why I hate Russians and Americans. So, honorabre dragon, did you rike my story?”

“If I say yes, will you let me go now?”

“Possibry.”

“Then I loved it!”

“Excerrent!” the Japanese replied with a big smile “then I’rr terr you the story of how I became a captain.”

The purple dragon sighed “well, there goes another hour with this weird guy” he thought as he yawned. He then looked at Fluttershy: she was sitting alone in a table “I think I got an idea” he thought and he yelled “what a weird story about slaughtering bunnies you just told me about!”

The yellow Pegasus stopped her ear after she heard him; she quickly turned around and saw Takeo with her dragon friend. Showing no shyness, she stood up from the chair and approached to them, taking a seat next to Spike.

“Oh, excuse me mister, but I heard you just told him about” she hesitated “killing. Am I right?”

Spike looked at her disappointed at her soft response as Takeo looked at her with a weird face “What? No!”

“I thought so” she replied as she smiled.

“I just tord him how I kirred a man and threw him to a river after he stole my money once.”

“What!?” she said shocked “why do you tell that kind of stories to a baby dragon?”

“Dragons are honorabre creatures. Their strength and determinacy goes beyond imagination” he turned to Spike.

“But...”

“You can go now and stop interrupting us, Pegasus, you’re not needed here.”

“I...um” she hesitated.

“Come on, Fluttershy!” Spike thought “use the stare on him, use it!”

“Okay. I will not disturb you again” she said with a low tone and turned around.

“You made the best decision” he turned back to Spike “honorabre dragon, did I already terr you how I had to burn a whore forest before finding the thief?”

“Last chance” Spike thought “what about the animals living in there, Tak?”

“Animars don’t matter to Takeo.”

Fluttershy turned back and approached him quickly. She stood in front of him across the table and, while looking at his eyes, said “what did you just say?”

“I said animars don’t matter to...” he noticed how the yellow Pegasus was staring at him and felt a chill in his spine.

“Listen to me, sir, and listen to me carefully” she sentenced as she kept her eyes on him “animals are the most adorable and beautiful creatures of creation. I will not let ponies, or creatures like you, to treat them like if they were inferior. Now, you must take your words back and apologize in this instant. Did I make myself clear?”

“I’m not...” he hesitated and noticed his words were trembling “I’m not going to do that. Honor is all that matters.”

“Honor?” she got close to him, getting her face inches away from his “honor!? The place where you live may be considered honorable to slaughter little animals, but not in Ponyville or Equestria whatsoever. If honor is all that matters, then do what I say.”

He gulped as he was sweating nervously “never.”

“Is that so?” she stared more intensively to him. Takeo was trembling as he tried to take his sight out of her stare, but it was too strong to even blink “you mister have no honor for treating animals like that.”

As he was attempting to resist her perseverance he wondered what went wrong and how a simple yellow shy Pegasus could make him feel a fear stronger than he felt when he first saw a zombie. Only a few moments passed, although it seemed to be centuries for him, before he couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Okay... I take back my words and... And I aporogize” he mumbled “just stop rooking at me rike that.”

The Pegasus smiled happily and stood back on her chair, she then extended her right hoof to him “I’m glad you reconsidered your thoughts, mister. My name is Fluttershy, what’s your name?”

He looked at her hoof as he was still shocked. He took a moment before he extended his hand and said “My name’s Takeo” he paused for a moment “at your service, Fruttershy.”

“That was nice” Spike thought as he got free from Takeo “but I guess I’m out of here. Where’s Twilight by the way?” he mumbled as he lifted from his chair and ran away.

As he was running as fast as he could, the yellow Pegasus struck up a conversation with the Japanese as he slowly clamed himself down and noticed she was interesting enough to talk with. Meanwhile, Richtofen and Pinkie Pie were trying to calm their friend Twilight after the incident with the Princess.

“Cheer up, Twi!” the Pink pony said as she was smiling “at least she didn’t blame you.”

“If something could comfort you” Richtofen supplemented “it was Nikolai’s fault. That stupid Russian never thinks on what he does.”

“I know that, guys” she replied sadly “but the truth is all the things I’ve done in an attempt to keep everything on place, so they could be pleased and proud, mean nothing now” she took the jar with her magic and drank it like if it was water.

“Erm, Twi” Pinkie said worried “but that punch has vodka.”

The purple unicorn threw it to the floor and looked at Pinkie “does it matter now? Did it even matter? My life’s ruined now” she stomped her front hoof on the table “I will no longer be Princess Celestia’s most faithful student. Heck, I may not even be her student anymore after this.”

“No need to overreact, unicorn” he chuckled “if the rulers are as good as you portrayed me a few hours ago, then they will forgive you for sure” he remained thoughtful “not like ze Führer, he would have shoot you und ze toes” he laughed manically “and then und ze face!”

“Richtofen!” Pinkie interrupted him.

“Oops, my mistake; but seriously, you take things too far” he approached to her and whispered “here between us geniuses of our groups, try not to take the whole responsibility. Whenever you can, lend the tasks to your minions, that’d make your life easier and also you could blame them if something goes wrong.”

“You know what?” the unicorn replied with courage “you’re right. There’s no need to feel like that.”

“That’s the spirit!” the pink pony said happily “problem solved, back to have fun!”

“Oh ja, I agree with ze overactive Pinkie.”

“Thank you for making me feel better, guys” Twilight said with a smile.

“Anything for you Twi!” she suddenly saw Spike running to them “oh, hello Spikey!”

He saw Twilight and, losing no time, climbed the table and stood in front of her. He opened his eyes widely when he noticed she was also drunk.

“Whoa, Twilight, what happened to you?”

“Nothing, Spike” she replied as she laughed “I just had a small incident with the Princess, that’s all.”

“Small? Look at you!” he grabbed her hooves “I think it’s time to go and sleep. You don’t look well.”

“Wait” she said strangely “your voice. You didn’t drink, right?”

“Of course not!” he replied serious “now let’s get moving.

“I’m not going anywhere” she replied upset “I will go when party’s over.”

“Twilight.”

“I mean it.”

He sighed “I’m getting tired of all this, Twilight; do you see now why is alcohol banned here?”

“Well” she said sarcastically “not really. I guess it’s because it ruins your life.”

“Exactly.”

“But I don’t care anymore. If you want to go, then do it. I’m staying here” the purple dragon face palmed “my decision is final.”

“What?”

“You heard her, dragonish creature” Richtofen interrupted “now if you excuse us, we must keep this party until it ends” he poked Pinkie Pie “Am I right, Pinkamena?”

“Of course!” she said as she lifted her glass filled with punch.

“This can’t be happening” the little dragon thought “you know guys...” he hesitated “ah screw it, I’m off to sleep” he then jumped off the table and walked away.

For the rest of the night, the party went off with no more incidents worth to be noticed. Hours passed as the mixed beverage ran out. After the party, almost everypony said goodbye and went to their homes to rest. As for the humans, destiny prepared them a fate worth of their actions.

Epilogue

Sweet Apple Acres

“Ugh, where am I?” Dempsey mumbled as he put his hand on his forehead. His throat was dry and his head hurt because of the hangover he had “what the fuck did just happened.”

He stretched his arms and looked around. His eyes widened when the first vestiges of memories came to his mind “oh crap. Then it wasn’t a fucking dream!” he stood up quickly and looked behind him. As he feared, he saw the apple orchard “this freaking sucks. At least those bitches are not arou...”

“’Ello Dempsey, did ya sleep well?” he heard and turned around “ah bet y’are wondering what did just happened” the orange pony said embarrassed.

“Just stay away from me, damn rapist” he replied angry.

“T’wasn’t me, I swear. We were drunk and ah...”

“Shut the hell up” he looked around “where am I?”

“Sweet Apple Acres. The place where mah family and I work hard everyday.”

“Ookay” he remained thoughtful “and where the hell are the others? I just want to get out of this damn place” he took two steps before he felt his arm being grabbed.

“Wait; first please let me make this up to ya. Ah really wanna apologize” she tried to smile “ya thirsty, partner?”

“Thristy...” he stared at her “I’m not in the mood for more “zap apple juice” he shivered “ew, I need to forget that.”

“Oh” she blushed and evaded her sight “sorry for that.”

“Now be nice and get your rapist, dirty hooves off me” turned around “seriously, who the hell would find you even attractive? Bitch.”

“No need t’tell me such words” she said sad. She then saw Rainbow Dash coming out the Orchard’s warehouse “ah just wanna help.”

“You could be very helpful if you get out of my face and...” he saw the rainbow Pegasus land next to her friend “...all right, this again.”

“What’s up, AJ?” she said as she put her hoof on her shoulder, she then turned to Dempsey “Oh well, about last night...”

“Don’t remind me that, okay?” he interrupted her “you already had your lustful fun, now I’m out of here.”

“No no no. I must fix this huge mistake, Dempsey.”

“Here we go again” he thought and then he saw her whisper to Applejack “Richtofen, when I find you, you will pay for all this.”

Carousel Boutique

Nikolai, the drunken Russian, was sleeping comfortably on a luxury bed. It was already afternoon when his dreams were cut and he slowly opened his eyes, facing to the ceiling.

“What a weird dream; drinking shots of vodka with three drunk horses. I need to stop drinking someday... someday. I wonder why my mouth tastes like berries” he stretched his arms “oh well, time to get back with the others. Those bastards won’t get rid of me easily.”

He turned to his right and his smile faded as he saw the azure unicorn sleeping in the same bed “well, fuck” he thought “I need to be careful not to wake her up, or else she will scream and yell. Loud noise makes me upset” he turned to his left and his eyes widened as he saw the white unicorn, also sleeping “the hell?”

He turned to his original position and then he lifted himself up “if it’s not right or left, then it will be...” he spotted Berry Punch sleeping on the end of the bed “what the fuck?” he rubbed his forehead as he tried to remember how did he ended up in the same bed with them.

“Let me see, we were drinking, then Rarity threw up, again, and fainted” he made a great effort to keep remembering “we took her to her home, but it wasn’t hers...” he unconsciously laughed “and the blue commie got hit once with a bat, thinking she was a thief” he scratched his head “damn, I can’t remember well.”

He looked around and smiled ironically “life’s a bitch. Nikolai’s biggest dream was to sleep with bunch of whores and ends up sleeping with bunch of horses” he remained thoughtful “whores, horses. At least those are horny horses. Too close and yet too far... I need a drink.”

With great care, he got out of the bed and stood next to it “good, one problem less” he looked down “now, to find my pants... and my underwear” He walked to a wardrobe and opened it. He looked at Rarity’s dresses “none of these will work” he turned to his right and his eyes shined as he spotted his backpack “but vodka will get me the courage I need” he grabbed it and looked inside “just one bottle left. Lucky me” he took it and let a girly scream come out from his mouth as he dropped the bottle “this can’t be, it’s empty!”

Losing no time, he quickly opened the door and ran downstairs to the kitchen “there must be something to drink. I’m so thirsty” he talked to himself. He reached the kitchen, opened the fridge and took a bottle of apple cider.

“Phew, Nikolai saved the day again.”

“Ejem” he heard from his back, he turned around slowly with a strange face. It was Princess Luna; she was sitting at the table as she sipped a cup of coffee. She was looking at him with a serious face “I thought I told you to leave Equestria.”

“So what?” he replied upset as he opened the bottle and took a seat “You don’t have the pants to hurt Nikolai.”

“Neither you do as I see” she replied and then she slightly smiled “at least have the decency to wear your pants before prowling on other’s houses” she glowed her horn and casted some clothes on the table.

“Well played, Queen...”

“Princess.”

“Whatever” he took the clothes and wore them, not caring to be seen by the dark blue winged unicorn “so, what will you do?” he said mockingly “you can’t defeat me.”

“Are you sure?” she smiled and casted a bottle full of vodka. Nikolai quickly tried to take it, but it disappeared before he could reach it “As long as you are here, then I will make sure you will not drink” she grinned mischievously.

“You can’t do that to me!” he yelled “no one, or no horse, touches my vodka without my permission!”

“I already did it” she stared at him as she sipped her coffee again “if you want your precious poison back, then get out of Equestria and never come back.”

“Fuck you!” he replied as he stood up from his chair and quickly walked away. Princess Luna smiled as she tasted her victory.

“He will not last long here” she thought. She smiled and sipped her coffee again “now, time to wait for the others to wake up. They all will hear me.”

Fluttershy’s Cottage

“Wake up, sleepyhead!” the yellow Pegasus said happily at Takeo “it’s already two o’clock in the afternoon.”

He opened his eyes and saw her smiling at him. He yawned and lifted up from the floor “where...” he felt the effects of the hangover “where am I?”

“Aw, poor Tak” she said worried “you don’t feel well, do you?”

“Erm” he hesitated for a moment as he blinked quickly and tried to remember her name “kind of, miss...”

“Fluttershy” she completed his sentence as she took a bowl, filled it with water, took it with her mouth and put it next to him, on the floor “here you go, mister.”

“Thanks?” he felt confused.

“Anything for my new lovely pet.”

“Pet!?”

She nodded her head “We came to an agreement yesterday. You’d be my pet for a day so you could learn to love them too... and also to learn how to use the stare.”

“I did that, when did...?” he opened his eyes widely, even though they were slanted, as a flashback came to his mind.

“The only way I could appreciate a pet is to be one.”

“I don’t know...”

“Prease accept. My honor will be greater after I learn new things.”

“But...”

“Shh, don’t regret now. I’rr be your pet in exchange of that and teach me how to do that creepy stare.”

“Are you sure? I tend to be... not so kind sometimes when my pets do bad things.”

“It’s a risk I’rr take. And besides, no matter how much I beg you to stop, you wirr keep this promise for the entire day.”

“That’s... good?”

“Deal?”

“Deal, mister.”

He face palmed and thought “rast time I drink untir I get drunk” he heard the sound of a chain and looked at the yellow Pegasus “what the?”

“Time to take you for a walk, Tak” she said happily as she held a dog chain with her mouth.

“I’m not going to wear that.”

“Tak” she said serious “be obedient and wear this.”

“No.”

She stared at him. Takeo looked at her and he felt a chill on his back “Tak, don’t make me correct you.”

“Damn stare” he thought. He grabbed the chain and wore it on his neck.

“Good boy, mama is so proud” she said and, with the handle on her mouth walked towards the door.

“This is humirriating” he sighed and he followed her.

Ponyville Library

“Look Pinkie, she’s finally waking up.”

“Oh goodie. Poor Twi, the punch was too much for her.”

“What... Where?” the purple unicorn opened her eyes and saw Pinkie Pie and Spike looking at her “what happened?”

“You mean you don’t remember too?” the pink pony replied loud “Phew, I thought it was only me.”

“Pinkie” the purple dragon said as he stared at her serious “you drank the whole bowl when party ended.”

“What?” she grinned “I didn’t want it to be wasted.”

“Three gallons in one swig” he scratched his head “or that’s what Richtofen told me.”

“Richtofen?” Twilight said shocked, the name sounded too familiar, but she was still on a blackout.

“Yeah, that weird guy” he pointed at the door “right now he’s looking anxiously through your books. He said something about teleportation and energy, but I didn’t get it. What an egghead” she lifted her head “no offense.”

The purple unicorn got out of her bed and analyzed her state “dry throat, headache, and loss of short-term memory. So this is what they call a hangover” she thought.

“Twilight?” Spike cut her train of thought “I think you should go watch that guy. I don’t trust him.”

“He’s not weird, he’s funny” the pink mane pony interrupted.

“Yeah right” he said sarcastically and rolled his eyes and turned back to the purple unicorn “Twilight?”

“Don’t worry Spike. It’s just that I don’t feel okay right now.”

“Oh, you know what could make you feel better?” Pinkie said happily as she raised her left hoof “some enchiladas or quesadillas will make you feel better” she shrugged “spicy food is your very best friend now” she giggled.

“What?” she shook her head “I’m going downstairs to see what’s going on” she opened the door with her magic and walked downstairs. She saw Richtofen leafing through a book and then throwing it.

“Nein! I can’t believe those books hold nothing more than useless intel” he said to himself as he took another book “history of Equestria” he read and then he threw it away “not of mein interest.”

“That’s not the way you treat books” the purple unicorn said with an upset tone as she caught the book with her magic “and besides, who let you be in here?”

“Eh?” he turned around, saw Twilight and then turned back “ze pink pony let me in. So, how’s the hangover going?”

“Don’t change the topic, Richtofen.”

“What topic?” he said sarcastically as he took another book. The unicorn used her magic to take it away from him “hey!”

“Why are you here and what are you looking for?” she said suspicious “what are you up to?”

He sighed and approached to her “you know, we can help each other” he faked a smile “you’re smart, I’m smart; so it would be much easier for us.”

“What are you talking about?” she said confused.

“Accept it; you don’t like mein presence unless drunk. I don’t want to be here anyway, so it’s pretty obvious.”

She thought for a moment about his offer. She doubted about his intentions, she didn’t trust him, but she didn’t have any other real chance “all right” she said “what are your conditions?”

“Wundervar!” he yelled “I need an unfiltered, unsweetened form of organic liquid which contains abundant raw nutrients.”

“What for?” she tilted her head.

“To power up mein, erm...” he remained silent for a moment “...vehicle. Ja, vehicle!”

She turned to her left and took a book with her magic “maybe this book will help you” she said as she gave it to him.

“Properties of fruit and vegetables” he read “silly unicorn, I need it in liquid form.”

“Ever heard of fruit juice?”

“Touché” he said as he opened the book. He looked through its pages until he stopped on one and grinned widely “oh ja, this will do nicely.”

“What is...?” before she could finish her question, he closed the book and put it on his pocket. He then ran to the exit “wait!”

“No time to explain” he replied as he opened the door frantically “farewell, Twilight” he closed the door and ran away.

“Wow, that was weird” she shrugged and grabbed the books that were laying on the floor “what a mess. At least I will not see him again” she looked at the door “I really hope not to see them again. I already have enough trouble.”

The end (for now)

What are Rainbow Dash and Applejack planning for Dempsey? Will Nikolai drink vodka before the day ends? Will Takeo stop his humiliating state or stay humble? What did Richtofen see on the book and why was he in a rush? Find out on the next episode: Hangover!