Well I tried to order a donut... (long sip) then there was a hole
View Online
Pinkie Pie Falls in a Hole
Well I tried to order a donut... (long sip) then there was a hole
“Pinkie Pie?!” Did you take the garbage out to the receptacles like I asked?”
“I’m doing it now, Ms. Cake.” Pinkie Pie was sitting on the doorstep behind Sugarcube Corner as she played with her new talky box. Placing her hoof on the box’s screen, she maneuvered the hole the box was projecting underneath the pile of trash bags sitting next to her.
The trash bags fell into the abyss within the hole, never to be seen again.
“So where did you get this thing from again?” Rainbow Dash asked from the cloud she had pulled from the sky. She was eyeing the hole suspiciously as it moved about the ground, she didn’t feel comfortable standing at the moment.
“My talky box?” Pinkie replied. “I got it from the new donut shop that moved into Ponyville just last night. A raccoon gave it to me.”
“I get that…okay, I don’t. But why did you order a donut from this new place? Don’t the Cakes sell donuts?”
“They do, but there was this big morning rush, like everypony decided to sleep-in at the same time today then realized, ‘Oh no! I'm going to be late for work!’” Pinkie explain in her best attempt to mimic other ponies' panic. “By the time it was done, all the donuts and coffee were gone, and I really really wanted a donut! It was lucky I found that flier for this place.”
“But you didn’t get a donut?”
“No, but I got something better. My magic talky box that can make holes that I can move and throw things into. I never have to touch the yucky garbage again!”
Rainbow looked at the hole skeptically. “Where does it go anyways?”
“I don’t know.” Pinkie stated with an oblivious smile.
“Maybe we should tell Twilight about this. She has a thing for knowing a lot about…things?”
Before Pinkie could come up with a reply, a large claw with pointed nails pulled its way out of the hole, digging itself into the dirt. A diamond dog in a red vest pulled himself out of the hole. He was smelling rather fowl, and his coat was completely covered in rotten egg shells, stale pastries, and other more unmentionable garbage that may be found in the Cakes’ trash bags.
Another smaller diamond dog pulled himself out of the hole after the first, he didn’t look much cleaner. The taller dog marched over towards Rainbow Dash and Pinkie.
“Which one of you ponies dropped your garbage on our heads?” He growled.
“It leads to a diamond dog tunnel apparently.” Pinkie giggled nervously. The dogs turned towards her and glared at her furiously.
“So you’re the pony who thinks she can throw her trash wherever she wants, huh?” Reaching down, he grabbed her by the tail, before lifting her up and hanging her upside down like a possum. He poked her on the nose with his claw. “Didn’t you’re mother ever teach you to clean up after yourself and not drop it on others?”
“I thought you guys liked garbage?” Rainbow asked with a cocked eyebrow. “Don’t you guys, like…eat it?”
Both the dogs turned towards Rainbow with looks that expressed how insulted they felt. “We may be dogs, but we don’t eat trash!” The smaller dog stated. “Despite how low you ponies might think of us, we do have standards.”
Smacking sounds came from behind both dogs. Turning, they saw a much larger hunchbacked dog chewing on a piece of moldy stale cake. The other diamond dogs glared at him in annoyance.
He smacked his lips a few times before replying. “What?”
“Anyways...” The red vested dog turned back towards Pinkie. “...If you like sharing your trash with others so much, maybe you should share more of your things.” He began to shake her violently, causing random things to fall from her mane and tail, like small pieces of party supplies, extra snacks, and even her party cannon.
The diamond dogs began to pick up the items that fell from her hair. “Toss that stuff in the hole, boys. We’re gonna have ourselves a party when we get home.”
The other diamond dogs nodded, throwing the party supplies in the hole. “Right, Rover.”
With each party horn and cupcake tossed into the hole the circumference of the hole grew larger, until there was nothing left to be tossed in but Pinkie’s party cannon.
“Hey, that’s mine!” Pinkie shouted.
“Not anymore.” Rover dropped Pinkie on her head and scooped up the party cannon, before bolting towards the hole. “Fido, Spot, we’re out of here!”
“Get back here with Pinkie’s stuff!” Rainbow Dash shot through the air like missile as Rover threw the cannon into the hole. All three dogs then jumped into the hole before Rainbow could connect, sending her careening into a tree.
Pinkie picked herself up and shoved her talky box in her mane, before chasing after the three thieving dogs. “Come back with my party cannon you meanies! And give back all my other stuff too!”
The hole closed behind Pinkie as she dove inside. It disappeared completely before Rainbow Dash could follow her, causing Dash to crash into the ground, leaving an imprint where she landed.
“Pinkie?” Rainbow tapped her hoof against the ground, surprised to find it far more solid then she expected, despite there having been a hole there just a few seconds ago. Rainbow stared at the ground in confusion and shock.
“What the hay just happened?!”
Pinkies cheeks were pushed back so far they could touch her ears, and water flew out the corners of her eyes as she fell downwards towards the bottom of the hole. It was much deeper than she expected, a lot darker too.
After a few more minutes of falling, she could at last see an opening nearing. She assumed it lead into the cave the diamond dogs would be hiding out in. But upon exiting the tunnel, found the opening lead not to a cave, but what looked to be some kind of underground forest. Pinkie wrapped her forelegs around herself upon feeling the nipping breeze of the underground biome.
“Brrr…it got chilly all a sudden.”
Before Pinkie could make any further observations of her surroundings, she crashed head first into a large pile of fluffy snow, which cushioned her fall as well as buried her completely.
Pinkie popped out of the snow drift with a full beard and mane that would make Starswirl jealous. Looking at her new appearance in frozen puddle, she giggled to herself.
“Looks like you’re a wizard, Pinkie.” She shook her head clearing off her snow beard and mane. She then hopped out of the drift to land on a cleared pathway that ran straight through the forest.
“Now to see where those bad doggies went?” She shot around the cleared path, searching for any sign that told her the party thieves had been here. Eventually, she found three sets of paw prints leading eastward down the path.
“Ah-ha! Wabbit tracks! I mean, doggy tracks!” She pointed down the road ahead. “They went that way!”
She began to hop in her usual fashion down the path, all the while unknowing that a pair of eyes were watching her as she bounced. Along the way she pronked over a tough-looking branch that appeared to heavy to pick up. She would’ve continued bouncing, but stopped when she heard a loud snap. Turning, she saw the branch had been broken into pieces, but there was no evidence of anyone following behind her. Pinkie began to grow a little worried.
“Hello..?” She called out to the forest, but the forest refused to answer back. She turned towards the reader, “Did you ever have the feeling you was being watched? By somepony other than you guys, I mean.” She didn’t wait for a response as she continued down the path, this time opting to walk rather than hop.
Further down the path she heard someone take a step in the deep snow. She turned around only to find that, like before, no one was there. Pinkie was beginning to grow scared.
Eventually she came upon a small bridge spanning a small black crevice in the path. There was also group of four wooden posts spanning the crevice, but they were spaced far enough apart that the bridge easily fit between them. If this was built to be a deterrence, it seemed extremely ineffective.
Before she could even think of crossing the bridge, she heard a few more steps coming from the snow behind her. Pinkie frozen in place as the steps grew louder as whoever it was grew closer.
“Hey, new girl…” The stranger spoke in a deep voice. “Don’t you know how to greet a new pal?”
Pinkie began to tremble nervously. “Turn around and shake my hand.” He commanded. Too scared to argue, she turned on her hooves and barely glanced at other creature’s outstretched hand. She closed her eyes and reached out her hoof to grasp it.
(obnoxious sound)
“Heheh…the old whoopie cushion in the hand trick. It’s ALWAYS funny.” Pinkie looked to her hoof then to the creature who was standing before her, who appeared to be a short skeleton in a blue winter coat, exercise shorts, and pair of fuzzy pink slippers. Pinkie began to giggle, before breaking out into a snort.
“Wow! That’s a good one. I have to try that one on Rainbow Dash when I get home.” Pinkie chortled.
“Heh...you liked that, huh?” The skeleton asked.
“It was hilarious!”
The skeleton smiled--well, actually he was always smiling--but hearing that she enjoyed his joke made him feel good inside all the same. “Not many monsters are into my kind of humor. It’s nice to see I could make you laugh. You with any of the monsters around here? Don’t think I’ve seen you before.”
“I’m not a monster. I’m Pinkie Pie, and I’m a pony.” She stretched out her hoof again for the skeleton to shake. This time he took it with the hand without the whoopie cushion.
“Sans. Sans the skeleton, it’s nice to meet ya.” He looked over his shoulder, as if expecting someone else to be heading their way.
“Are you looking for someone?” Pinkie asked.
Sans turned back to her. “Naw, you’re just not the usual company I see around these parts. Guess they’re taking a break for a spell. Suits me fine, I’m too lazy to look for them anyways.”
Pinkie giggled into her hoof. “You’re funny.”
“It’s actually a medical condition. My doctor says my funny bone is too big for my body, so they said I have to relieve it or risk it swelling. It’s very serious.” They both shared another burst of laughter before continuing on with their conversation. “So what’cha doing down here anyways? If you aren’t a monster, then I doubt you just walked in through the front door.”
“I fell in from up there.” She pointed towards the ceiling where the opening to the hole was. Neither of them could really see it, but considering how far they were from it, Sans couldn’t find means to argue with her story.
“Never been a hole there before? Mt. Ebott usually just has the one.”
“I made it.” Pinkie explained. “With my magical, hole-creating, talky box.” She reached into her mane and pulled out the device.
“Nice cellphone.” Sans politely took the phone from her to inspect it. “You got any apps on it?” Upon turning on the screen, he immediately got his answer, as only one app and the contacts icon were present on the screen.
“Thanks, a raccoon gave it to me.”
“Then I guess they’re not all bandits.” He tossed the phone back to Pinkie who caught it and slipped it back into her mane.
“Listen, I’m actually supposed to be on watch for human right now. But…y’know…I don’t really care about capturing anybody. If you want I can walk you down to Snowdin and help you get a room. At least till you can find a way back home.”
“That’d be super!” Pinkie cheered as she jumped into the air. She then froze in mid-air, much to Sans’ confusion. “Wait, no…I need to find a group of dogs who stole my stuff.”
“How did you do that?” He asked in confusion.
Pinkie landed back on the ground, completely ignoring Sans question. “Do you know if any dogs came by here with a whole bunch of party supplies and a cannon?”
Sans blinked at the question. “Uh…no. But I do know there are a couple of dogs that patrol the paths on the way to Snowdin. They work as guards alongside my brother. Maybe they’ve seen ‘em?”
Pinkie smiled, then felt the corners of her mouth slightly falter. “Could you, um…come with me?” She asked embarrassedly. “I don’t really know this place very well…and if there’s monsters about.”
“What’s the matter, scared?” Sans teased.
“What you did before was really scary! And if any of those other monsters are like you, then…”
“There aren’t any other monster like me, Pinkie.” Sans explained. “Trust me, when they made me they broke the mold. Probably because I was so obnoxious and loveable.” Pinkie tried to fight back a snicker. “No one is going to try and hurt you Pinkie. That privilege is saved expressly for any humans that come down here. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll walk with ya. Be your bony bodyguard, if you like. A bonyguard, ey!~”
Pinkie burst into laughter. “Stop! Stop! Your killing me!”
“Then who exactly can I kill? I can’t kill myself, obviously.”
After a few minutes the duo managed to stopped laughing, and decided to continue on their way down the path. “So why are you guys so crazy about catching humans? My friend Twilight says humans are nice, even though some of them can be a little selfish.”
Sans rubbed the back of his skull anxiously. “It’s a bit of a long story. You sure you want to hear it?”
“Uh-huh.” Pinkie nodded enthusiastically.
Sans sighed. She seemed so nice. It’d be a shame to spoil her innocence with the story of how the monsters came to live in the underground. It’d be even worse if he decided to tell her the unabridged version involving how they planned to get out. He’d have to tailor the tale, shouldn’t be to hard. Afterall, if he could come up with a joke, then he could definitely give her the cliffnotes version of a story.
Sans brought his hands together and began to rub them furiously. “Okay, then let's start at the beginning… Once upon a time, there were two races: Humans, and Monsters…”
As the two walked away, they failed to notice a pair of eyes watching them before shooting into the soil in order to follow. If one listened closely, they might hear a sinister little chuckle coming from the tunnel it dug followed by the creature saying: “...Idiots.”
Author's Note
Whelp, looks like Pinkie is stuck on another cross dimensional adventure, but this one has a twist... Pinkie will only be visiting universes with an emphasis on subterranean exploration (worlds that take place a majority of the time underground). If you want to leave suggestions for locations, leave them in the comments below. 
Also, I will not be directly stating the names of the series Pinkie will be visiting, that's up to you guys to decipher. There are currently two video games included in this chapter, the second is really easy to figure out and the first is a little harder. Good luck, guys!~
