//-------------------------------------------------------// The Crystal Princess -by Unclever Hans- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter 1: Feast of Wicked Stars //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter 1: Feast of Wicked Stars Once upon a time, there lived a unicorn named Skyla who was heiress to the throne of a nation in the frozen North. She was, however, second to her sister Flurry Heart, whom ponies revered for her sorcery. Skyla was among the most precocious - she was sharp and incredibly literate - but her magic was more or less impotent, which defied the pedigree of her father. Her telekinesis could barely lift a textbook. She couldn't teleport across her massive palace. Worst of all, Skyla couldn't defend herself; her powers could barely singe an insect. Regardless, her parents still loved her very much and accepted her in spite of her birth defect. And Flurry Heart, it seemed, loved her sister to the point that she was willing to gamble with the supernatural. "Skyla!" she said to her sister one evening. "Look! I know how to fix your magic." Their aunt had brought a book from a realm far beyond called Historia von D. Johann Fausten. The story within was of a human who, failing to take his life, exchanged his soul for magic powers. In short, the Faustian bargain. "Faust surrendered himself to the Devil - not 'a' devil; 'the' Devil. And he did this while a master of sorcery. A master! So, what was the Devil? "Whomever he is, he must have extraordinary power - but mine's better. I'll even prove it in a duel to first blood, forcing him to give you that power once I win." But Skyla was skeptical at first, not to mention a little bit afraid. This "Devil," if he existed, was worlds beyond their own - and if he appeared, could Flurry truly best him? Skyla was about to find out. Flurry conjured the necessary circles as she summoned the Devil with a well-rehearsed chant: O prince of lies whom they call "The Accuser," I know that you're out there. I know you exist! You can torment the damned another day; My sister and I have come to bargain and play! You alone can grant the powers we seek: To influence others and destroy the infirm. Show yourself in all your Heavenly glory, So that we may curse the One who cast you to Earth. And behind appeared a friar Reitpony, whose voice was quite harmless but frightened them anyway. He was taller than most other ponies, as well as more intense because of what he'd heard from Flurry Heart. "I wouldn't say that too loudly, little filly. While you haven't the promise of Heaven, neither do ponies have the burden of eternal damn. Have you any idea what you're about to do?" "Do not dissuade her," said another. "She understands the risks." And there he stood, the Prince of Lies himself: a Pegasus unicorn whose coat was of the purest white. He was masculine and proud like Skyla's father, but unlike Skyla's father, he was irresistibly handsome. His mere presence commanded a sort of power that could rival that of her parents' - and possibly Flurry Heart's. "This land, I admit, is unfamiliar - but I see that you have the book of Faust. You must be desperate for life after death if you would tolerate enslavement and eternal imprisonment." "Enslavement?" Flurry Heart repeated. "In your dreams, bucko!" scoffed the young sorceress. "I want your powers, but not your slave-driving - and I couldn't give a feather about an afterlife." "For what purpose?" asked the Devil. "You already have powers. Mine are stronger, but yours are very strong." "I want your powers for my sister, Princess Skyla," replied Flurry. "Hers are few, and she needs them more than I." Then the Devil appraised Princess Skyla. She grew anxious as she felt his piercing stare, gazing within her own to see her very essence. "So, this is your sister: Skyla," said the Devil. "She's lovely. So pure and… so innocent. "But the magic that she lacks has a price. If I can't have your soul, then what can I have? Perhaps you'd like to offer another's?" "What I offer is between you and me," replied Flurry, "a duel to first blood, and nothing more. No shielding, no ghosting, and no teleporting, and in the highly unlikely event that I should lose, my soul - and no other pony's - will be yours." The Devil smiled. "How cute, little filly; you amuse me. You correctly address me as the 'prince of lies,' yet you challenge me as though I have integrity. Who's to say that I won't cheat and reap you anyway - or that I'll honor my word if you should win? "Regardless, I know my own abilities - no shielding, no ghosting, and no teleporting. I shall best you fair and square in our duel, and if you somehow win, then my magic is your sister's. Mephistophiles - my servant - will see to that." "Just a moment," interjected the Reitpony. "If I may, sir, they need to know more. What my master often fails to disclose is that possession - my means of granting powers - has its side effects. The most prominent, the humans call 'epilepsy,' which entails convulsive seizures and atrophy. Your sister Skyla would die a free equine - but is she ready to die an early death?" Before Skyla could speak, her sister answered. "Of course she is; quality over quantity! While she may not live as long as other unicorns, life without magic is hardly life at all." "Then, may the best of us prevail," remarked the Devil. Wasting no time at all, Flurry fired first. A wide-diameter beam of unknown energy erupted from her horn and pierced the wall of Skyla's bedroom. Seeing space where there had once been toys and furniture, she witnessed not a trace of any ashes or flesh. "…Maybe I began too aggressively," said Flurry. "I was hoping to maim, not destroy." "Worry not, little filly; you did neither." Flurry turned and saw the Devil standing whole, prompting her to shoot him with another energy beam. The Devil, however, proved light on his hooves and seemed equally quick with his wings. Yet another gaping hole had been shot through Skyla's bedroom - but yet again, not through the Devil. Princess Flurry Heart had many other spells. She could shoot several miniature stars, which left her in ripples and scattered like powder. She could shoot a swirling curtain of energy bullets that rotated much like a sprinkler - followed by another pulse of stars. She could fire a bullet barrage that would scatter like buckshot before it converged, which she would follow with impassable curtains. She could also make another sprinkler spell with four repeating bullet curtains that would rotate against themselves. But none of these spells seemed a match for the Devil, whose slender form evaded every bullet. So, there were times when she resorted to her bread and butter: a wide-diameter beam combined with pulses and curtains. In addition, Flurry restrained herself. She had taken flight and chased him from her palace, trying to shoot him in the skies above the city. She kept awareness of her subjects below as she limited the range and the speed of every bullet - and to his credit, the Devil had sportsmanship. Never did he dive to the streets below and hide among buildings or crowded city squares. For as the Devil had said, he knew his own abilities. Flurry Heart would lose to him fair and square. Eventually, Flurry grew exhausted; flying and spell casting costed carbohydrates. The Sun had also caused her to sweat, which further depleted her of fluids and electrolytes. "What? Tired already?" asked the Devil. "I was just starting to have fun!" Gasping for oxygen, Flurry responded. "I'm just getting started, you fiend… Once I finally wear you out, you'll be easy pickings!" "A wise strategy, save for one caveat," said the Devil. "I'm a spirit. I play by different rules." "Flurry Heart!" shouted Flurry's mother. She had flown up amidst their conversation, using her wings as a Pegasus unicorn. Joining her were Pegasus guards and bystanders, as well as some flight-worthy unicorns. "Flurry, what are you doing? Who is this pony, and why are you shooting him?" "Not now, Mom!" Flurry responded. "This 'pony' is a very evil spirit, and if I don't defeat him, I'll have to be his slave." "What?" cried her mother. "You heard what she said," said the Devil. "They call me the Accuser, Your Majesty, and I typically ruin human souls. But when I heard your daughter summon me from lightyears away, how could I have possibly resisted? "Anywho, this is a duel between your daughter and I, so allow us some privacy." The space around Flurry and the Devil - as well as around Skyla and Mephistophiles - warped. A great roar and the howling of the damned filled their ears as the land around them emptied of color. The surrounding land was otherwise unchanged once the warping had ceased - but they were alone. The princesses' mother had vanished, as well as her guards and the city's inhabitants. "Do you know what else I failed to disclose, little filly? Apart from the energy and the epilepsy?" Flurry Heart was too stunned to answer, so the Devil answered for her. "…Spirits don't bleed." He then extended his legs, and he slowly transfigured as his body turned as bright as the Sun. His figure morphed and grew exceptionally tall - taller than even the tallest titanosaur - until at last, he revealed his final form: a crimson-colored dragon unlike any ever seen. And Flurry Heart, already stunned from what had happened before, merely looked the other way. She and Skyla had been blinded by the Devil's transformation, but once it concluded, they were dumbstruck. Seven heads, seven crowns, and ten horns - this ancient serpent was the demon who had taken Faust. "…And now, little filly, your soul shall be mine!" the Devil's seven heads said in unison. "Now and ever, unto ages of ages." From the Devil's wings erupted deadly streams: a never-ending, oscillating torrent of bullets. Flurry more or less found herself trapped within a very narrow space that grew narrower and narrower, contending also with the Devil's other attacks. She evaded high velocity spheres the size of Medieval cannonballs, one after another - and when she finally discovered the pattern, the Devil also shot at her four narrow lasers. Flurry held out as long as she could, but losing precious energy, she had to give up. She had neither the will to go on nor the means of protecting herself with a shield. Instead, as time seemed to slow, Flurry Heart surrendered herself to the inevitable. Her frantic maneuvers became slower and slower as the bullets around her drew closer. … A sphere cut her torso in two; Skyla remembered that vividly. What Skyla remembered most vividly, however, was seeing her give up the ghost. Skyla witnessed a literal shade: Flurry Heart's essence as it left its remains. It hovered, dejected and powerless. https://camo.fimfiction.net/PJnsYpxZLqMnxJjL4WwXiBiYqlX03pkBfLHqkc3HxIw?url=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com%2Fintermediary%2Ff%2F5d2ce9fc-5723-40be-84a0-80805bd3a73c%2Fdcyneso-c9c02cbc-1a67-4e98-8eda-dcda59e2ddb3.jpg%2Fv1%2Ffill%2Fw_1192%2Ch_670%2Cq_70%2Cstrp%2Fflurry_s_death_by_uncleverhans_dcyneso-pre.jpg "What a pity; you must have made a wonderful sister," the Devil said to Flurry Heart's ghost. "But now, you'll make a wonderful servant. Join me, Flurry - you haven't a choice." By the Devil's command, Flurry's essence took its place by its master, along with Mephistophiles. Seeing Flurry Heart's defeat greatly troubled Mephistophiles, who seemed to share in Flurry Heart's dejection. "You're more than welcome to your sister's remains," said the Devil, speaking then to Flurry Heart's sister. "Flesh is weakness, and I need her strong. But who knows? Maybe if you pray about it, God will resurrect her from the dead like the humans. "But I wouldn't count on Him, Skyla - neither for you nor your sister. God, you see, is like that parent who plays favorites among his children. That's why He's human and not equine." Those were Skyla's memories from four years ago - when Skyla saw the death of her sister. When the Devil returned her to her subjects, the paste of Princess Flurry Heart's remains were there for all to see. Her nation grieved, and her parents grieved harder. But Skyla? Skyla grieved the hardest. She was, after all, only eight years old. Author's Note …I've struggled to find ways in which telling is actually useful in writing. About the only things I've come up with, one of them extremely recently, are "summarizing long passages" and "comedy". I mean, it's often funnier to hear about the way someone said something than to actually see the words on the page. But yeah, showing almost always makes for stronger writing. The quote above is from a Fimfiction user who goes by PresentPerfect, which I took as a personal challenge: to author a fun story with natural storytelling. The key word is "storytelling," as opposed to "storyshowing." While Friendship Is Magic exists for television, fan fiction is largely confined to the written word. But too many authors these days have "cinema envy," and they bog down narration with unnecessary detail. Why is that? The overwhelming majority of literature - until the last one hundred years - has been 90% telling with just enough "showing" for emphasis. And there's nothing wrong with that, because "telling" only fails when your vocabulary fails.