Rumble's Choices

The white unicorn mare pulled Rumble into a friendly hug. “It’s good to see you!” she said in her cheery, high-pitched voice.

“You too,” he said, taking a moment to admire the long back legs leading to a nicely-rounded flank.

Sweetie Belle snorted and huffed. “You said this wasn’t a cutie call.”

Rumble grinned. “Sorry,” he said, “it’s not, really. Unless you want it to be?”

She shook her head. “No, but I’m flattered.” She sat down on the other side of the small table. Two steaming cups of tea sat waiting—Sweetie had ordered ahead. It was far too early for the lunch rush, so the rest of the café was empty. “So, what’s up?”

Rumble blushed. “It’s a, uh, personal thing. I just don’t know who else to talk to.” He fiddled with his teacup, twisting it around with his hooves.

Sweetie Belle straightened in her seat. She crossed her forehooves and placed them gently on the table. “I do a lot of counseling in my job,” she said kindly, “so I’m happy to help, and pleased that you thought of me.” She levitated the small teacup from beside her and took a small sip. “What’s on your mind?”

Rumble nodded. “So. Um. I have this friend.”

Sweetie Belle nodded.

“And he’s been, uh, fooling around with another pony. Another stallion.”

Rumble thought he saw Sweetie Belle’s eyes light up when he said that, but a moment later her face was schooled back to attentive stillness.

“And he’s not gay, my friend, and they were just doing things in front of each other, which is totally not gay, right? But then this other stallion, he kinda sorta, well, touched him. My friend.”

Sweetie Belle nodded.

“On his… you know. And my friend kinda, sorta,” Rumble swallowed nervously. “He touched him too. Like on purpose, not on accident.” Rumble bit his lip. “And my friend liked it. I mean, he says he liked it. Because how do I know what he thinks, right, since he’s my friend, not me.”

Sweetie Belle tilted her head slowly the side and took another sip of tea. The angle of her head meant that she spilled more than she drank, though, and she huffed irritably, breaking her calm façade. “Okay, so your friend liked touching another stallion.”

Rumble nodded.

“Did the other stallion like it too?”

“Yeah. Or. I mean. My friend said he did.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“That’s gay, though,” Rumble explained. “Right? Touching another guy is gay. And my friend isn’t gay.”

Sweetie sighed. “First of all, you say that like those are the only options—gay and not gay.”

Rumble considered this.

“Plus how sure is your friend about not being gay? I mean, I assume he’s about our age, right? We’re not foals, but it’s not like we know everything about the world, or even ourselves, yet.”

Rumble shook his head. “Nah, he’s totally not gay. He really likes mares. Really, really enjoys them.” He paused. “He says.”

Sweetie Belle smiled. “So, bisexual, maybe?”

Rumble shook his head, “Nah, I don’t think that’s… I mean, I don’t think my friend would want to date a stallion.”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “So getting a guy off is okay, but taking him to dinner is too far-fetched?”

Rumble felt his cheeks warm at her sarcastic tone. “When you say it like that…”

“Exactly,” Sweetie said with a small smile. “For what it’s worth, I’m happy that you-uhh-r, uh, your friend, is taking an honest look at their feelings, even if he’s not sure about what those feelings are yet.” The alabaster unicorn wiped up the spilled tea with a small napkin. “So I’ve gotta ask—and it’s okay if you say no—but I will of course keep this in confidence…” she cleared her throat and levitated the tea cup to her lips. “Who is this stallion your friend likes?”

Rumble blushed and looked away. He didn’t have to tell her, of course. But this was his ex-marefriend. And they were on good terms. And she could be trusted to keep a secret. And he knew in some way that it would make him feel better to get it off his chest, even if it was in the guise of his “friend” having these feelings.

“It’s, uh, I mean, my friend says it’s Button Mash.”

The tea cup crashed to the table, shattering instantly. Hot tea splashed into Sweetie Belle. “Celestia damn it!” She swore loudly. “You’re fucking Button?”

Rumble held up his hooves defensively and thanked the stars nopony else was in the café. “My friend!” he reminded her pitifully.

“Is that why he broke up with me?” She lowered her voice to a venomous whisper. “Is that why you broke up with me?”

“No!” he managed to interject.

“Oh, what the fuck,” she swore, now sounding breathless. “Does my pussy turn colts gay or something?”

Rumble saw an opening. “We should test that out. Why don’t we go back to my place and I’ll-“ he cut short as Sweetie Belle gave him a withering stare. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “See,” he continued, more forcefully “I’m totally not gay. I would eat that pussy like groceries.”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes and sighed. “I’m sorry, Rumble, I shouldn’t have reacted so angrily.”

“Is that a yes?”

“No,” she said forcefully. “I’m not up for reliving old times today.”

A cheerful earth pony poked her head out of the kitchen. “Oh dear, everything okay? I heard a break.”

Sweetie Belle nodded. “Lots of broken things out here, so sorry. I’ll pay for damages and settle the bill when you get a minute.”

The earth pony swept the remnants of the tea cup into a bin and hurried off to the back of the café.

Sweetie Belle touched a hoof to her mane, in a fair imitation of her sister. “I think ‘your friend’ should give Button a chance, if there’s something between you. Err, them. A real chance. He’s a good colt.”

Rumble’s stomach twisted.