Twilight Sparkle awoke with a start. As she came to, her ears registered the sound of hail pelting the crystalline exterior of the castle, and the wind baying like a pack of rabid timberwolves in the frozen and mournful night. As her bleary eyes blinked rapidly, she turned her gaze to the faintly visible cuckoo clock in the corner of the room. A small smile made it's way to her face.
The clock resembled Owlowiscious, the woodwork and carving intricate and masterful. it had been Apple Bloom's gift to her at Hearth's Warming, and she had worked with Time Turner on it. Twilight could recall the hopeful look on Apple Bloom's face... but even more-so, she remembered the look of absolute joy that graced the young pony when Twilight had given her praise for it.
Breaking herself out of her reverie, Twilight could vaguely see the clock face, which read clearly in the darkness. Three forty five in the morning. "I only went to bed a few hours ago... Why am I awake?", She thought. Her wings lightly ached, the pain dulled by some pills she had taken before bed.
Pulling the covers off of her body, she lightly stepped onto the cold, hard floor of the castle... Her castle.
"It's strange," The weary alicorn pondered. "It's been years, and I still can't believe that I own an entire castle."
Stepping quietly across the floor, her own hoof-falls were silenced by the reverberations of hail pelting the castle, the sound echoing throughout the room.
Pushing open her door, she surveyed both sides of the hall. Both Spike and Starlight's doors were closed, the former's room emitting an expected snore, somehow audible over the storm outside. She felt herself smile at that, despite herself.
As she quietly walked down the dark halls of the castle, her hoof-steps emitting a barely audible clop, she licked her dry lips, her throat parched and begging for liquid.
As Twilight made her way to the kitchens, her body felt heavy. Her wings like lead weights tied to her sides, and her eyelids like anchors. Every hoof-fall was calculated and forced, like she was trudging through quicksand.
As she walked, the exhausted mare's eyes turned to each window she passed. The white and baleful maelstrom outside was dying down, but would persist for the next few hours, covering the town's expanse in white, fluffy snow. Her eyes flickered to each snowflake, her vision enhanced by her ascension. Each sparkle drew Twilight's gaze towards it as she stopped, the moonlight illuminating the falling flakes of winter's essence, cascading like a roaring waterfall.
As she was enamored by the spectacle, she was broken out of her reverie by the loud CRACK of hail striking near the window, she shook her head and continued walking the length of the halls.
Continuing forward towards the kitchen, it took her a few moments to arrive. Lightly pushing the door open, she flicked the light switch with a hoof. Immediately, soft yellow light flooded the room, banishing the darkness and illuminating the various kitchenware and appliances.
Pausing for a brief second to remember where she kept the tea bags, she trotted over and stretched to reach the cabinet handle, her right hind leg whining in protest, sending a light pain up Twilight's spine.
Nudging the cabinet open with a forehoof, Twilight ignited her horn and caressed the small box in her magical aura. Her horn burned slightly as she did so, but she brought it down regardless.
Eyeing the stove in the corner of the room out of the corner of her eye, she turned the burner on. As she floated three small tea bags out, she turned her gaze to another cabinet and opened it. Floating out the kettle and a lone teacup, the burning on her horn softened.
Twilight let out a sigh, stiffening as she heard a familiar cough behind her. Whipping her head around sharply, Starlight stood in the doorway, giving the purple alicorn a small smile.
"Hey." Starlight looked fleetingly around the room. "You couldn't sleep as well?"
Twilight nodded. "Yeah. I... Didn't expect the storm to be this rough." Floating out a new teacup, she trotted over to the sink, filling the small kettle with water. "What's keeping you up, Starlight?"
Taking a seat at a countertop near the stove, the unicorn looked towards her friend with tired, baggy eyes. "Other than the storm?" Starlight looked away for a moment. "I've just been... Contemplating. And it's left me with a question that I'm not sure I can ask."
Setting the kettle on the burner, the Princess of Friendship looked at her friend, letting out a small chuckle. "Don't be silly Starlight, you can ask me anything." Sitting down while the water came to a boil, she continued. "What's on your mind?"
Starlight looked down at her hooves for a moment, before glancing back up at the alicorn with a sad, weary gaze. "Do you regret-" She paused for a few quiet seconds, trying to find the words. Starlight clicked her tongue for a moment, before gesturing around the room with a hoof. "-Do you regret any of this? Becoming a princess?"
Twilight blinked at this, clearly taken aback by the question. "Where's this coming from Starlight? That is a... Rather difficult question to answer."
Starlight coughed, looking at the clock, sitting just inside her peripheral vision. "I've been... Thinking. Mainly about my past; but also about the last two years. Myself, Chrysalis, Tempest..." She looked Twilight in the eyes. "Cozy Glow."
The crestfallen mare turned her head towards a small window near the stove, the storm waxing and waning sporadically outside, it's crescendo muffled by the thick walls of the crystalline castle. "I can't help but wonder; Did Tempest or I deserve forgiveness? We've both done horrible things, and you forgave us. Just like that. No caveats, no binding contracts, no strings attached."
Tapping her hoof anxiously upon the countertop, she continued speaking, her voice soft and subdued. "And through it all you have been so overwhelmingly... positive. With the exception of Trixie, I don't think I've ever seen you angry or sad towards either of us."
She sighed, shivering slightly from the chill of winter, which crept into the large building even despite it's numerous heating enchantments. "I suppose what I'm trying to ask is this."
"How do you continue pushing forwards, even after everything you have seen, let alone everything you have gone through?"
Twilight looked at her friend, taking note of the bags under her eyes, and the sad, forlorn look upon her face. She spoke as she levitated the kettle off of the stove, filling two small teacups and gently placing the teabags within them. "Well... There's a few answers I can give you." Gently levitating a few sugar cubes from a jar on the counter, she dropped them into her cup, conjuring a small spoon and stirring it tenderly. "One answer, is my friends." The newly minted alicorn chucked gingerly, lightly shaking her head. "We all deal with the pain together, though that isn't to say none of us feel the hurt and heartache at all. We have each other to fall back on whenever things get tough, and we need a little bit of support to keep going."
Looking into the small whirlpool she created in her tea, her eyes followed the swirling motion. "We all still struggle with what has happened. I still have trust issues from the invasion of Canterlot, and I know for a fact that Dash still has confidence issues after the Mare-Do-Well incident... I still regret doing that to her. But despite everything, we were able to mend our friendship and continue on." Gently taking a sip of the now cooled tea, she closed her eyes softly and hummed. "The pain isn't gone in an instant, don't get me wrong. But every laugh, every small moment of joy, helps us forget the pain a little longer each time."
Starlight nodded as her mentor continued speaking. "Another answer is the environment I grew up in. Despite being a unicorn in Canterlot, I was still bullied and teased relentlessly due to my well..." The alicorn giggled, looking at her student once more. "Rather nerdy nature. After a while, I learned to roll and tumble with the punches. In a way, you could say that is why I spurned the idea of friendship for so long. With the exception of a few close friends, every other pony I knew that wasn't Celestia, or my family, were awful to be around and interact with."
Starlight lightly sipped at her tea, listening intently before responding. "I suppose that is Canterlot culture. You are either better than the common pony or you are the filth they look down on..." Furrowing her brow, she adjusted on her seat. "It's partially why I began the Equality movement."
Twilight nodded gingerly, the cold atmosphere being repelled by the warm and flavorful tea. "Yep. Ultimately Starlight? I do have regrets." Starlight's ears perked up as she gazed intently at the purple mare. "I regret I wasn't able to do better in many situations. I regret not having self control at times. I am just a pony, after all." Gazing out the window, a wistful smile crossed her lips. "I make mistakes, just like anypony else. But it's the ability to move past, and ultimately learn from, those same mistakes that lets me go forward."
Walking over to Starlight, she gave her pupil a firm hug. "I know you have regrets too, and you've made me proud because of how you've changed for the better." Pulling away, she looked at the unicorn with a soft smile, the sounds of the storm outside echoing throughout the room. "Get some sleep, Starlight. And never forget just how far you've come."
Letting go of her pupil, she walked back to her room, Starlight remaining where she sat.
And as Twilight walked away, Starlight nodded ever so lightly, a few stray tears brimming in her eyes as she looked into her cup, before returning to her bedroom; hopeful for a better tomorrow.
