Shed N' Jeffrey

by Plymouthdodgewrecks

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Other, Adventure, Big Macintosh, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Granny Smith, Applejack, Apple Bloom
Length: 1077

WARNING: My very first attempt at a fic, only one person has reviewed it, and it slightly references a .MOV. If you don't want to read utter stupidity turn away now.

Brothers Shed and Jeffrey Bradshaw are caught off-guard when they meet some rather strange people across the forest from their farm. Except, they do not seem to be “people” .

Published 2012-08-06 20:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-06 20:34:01 UTC

The Forest

40 year old Georgian Ellis "Shed Guy" Bradshaw had always lived a secluded life. He and his 29 year old brother, Jeffrey, both lived on their parent's secluded, enormous farmhouse out in the "middle of nowhere" area of Georgia. The boys had a fine farm running, and weren't planning on stopping it.

Shed was the kind of guy you would imagine when the word "Lumberjack" was mentioned. A tall, muscular man with a graying beard, moustache and sideburns all in one, and a scarred, rugged face. To go along with it, he sported a red-blue plaid shirt and overalls, along with a single work glove on his right hand. The man had a slightly crazed look in his eye, which came from his rather unhealthy obsession of his shed just outside the barn, which he would insist to anywhere who dared
come near it "Hey, hey, hey, stay outta my shed!" Although the man said it in a rather joking tone, their was an air of definite seriousness when he said it.

Jeffrey, on the other hand, was the man you'd imagine the personality of when you heard "Crazy old gold miner", but not
the appearance. He was much more visibly crazy when compared to Shed, and always jumped around giddily. He was a lot leaner and thinner than Shed, with googley eyes and a missing tooth complimenting personality. He had thick sideburns and had dark blonde-light auburn hair that was always messed up and swept to the side, creating a "powerful fan blowing from the diagonal front-side area" look. He wore a red-white plaid overshirt over a white T-Shirt, along with tattered jeans and untied sneakers.

While Jeffrey was tending to the chickens, Shed walked by with a rusted metal bucket in his hand, various rusty tools of all kinds filling it to the brim.

"Hey, Jeff," he said, gravelly voice and beard both muffling his speech. "Y'all wanna take charge of the chores for a short bit? I gotta be somewhere."

Jeffrey nodded spastically as Shed walked off. "'MEMBER NOW, STAY OUTTA MY SHED!"

Shed entered the structure he was nicknamed after and closed the door, taking out a key and locking the door, then barring it up, then adding a second lock which was a small maze, then a steel door, and finally welded the steel door shut. He quickly turned around and creeped over to the other end of the eerie shack, the lights still off. He lumbered up to the table at the end of the shed, placing out the tools on the table. He produced an enormous cable from the bucket and carefully plugged it in to a large, metal machine. He chuckled evilly as he turned to obtain the next tool, when he heard a small knock on the wall.

"Hey, uh...Shed?"

"STAY OUTTA MY SHED, JEFFREY! Okay, whaddya want?"

"Well, thing is, see, I dun mean to scare y'all, but uh...I think I found some'in' weird back here."

Shed grumbled and pouted as he turned on the small moniter that connected to a camera outside, now speaking to Jeffrey through video.

"Well?" He snapped impaiently. "Whatever y'all saw, ya better bring it here!"

Jeffrey scratched the back of his head. "Just, uh, one tiiiiiiny problem..." he gulped, fearing his brother's temper would vanish. "I...can't really, uh...bring it to ya."

Shed, seething, quickly calmed down, a forced grin on his face. "Fiiiiiine. Lessee what this is about."

He spent five minutes unlocking every safety measure on the door before exiting his shed.

Jeffrey led the way to the sight he saw. "Hey, Shed, y'all ever wondered: If the whole world was ALWAYS covered in water, an' humans coul' breath in water, would we really be wet?" He squinted his eyes and scratched his chin.

Shed threw a leg out to trip Jeffrey, promptly causing the man to land on his face.

"Aw-haw, man, tha' was a good 'un, Shed! I ever tell y'all 'bout the time mah buddy Keith tried to invent an autee-maytic trippin' machine? See, we was out in California, an' Keith was starin' at this lizard, try'na figger out whe'der it was a cro-co-dile, or an alee-gaterr. See, he 'cided he could figure out on his own by making this li'l hat that could sense where every existing raccoon on Earth was. An' even some udda ones on Mars! Now, Keith figured "If a raccoon can hold stuff, so can a badger", right? Heheee, WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG was heeeee. See, it turned out that the raccoons was actually parta this secret organiza...Orginni...Orgublee...Thing, and they ended up takin' him by the-"

Shed whipped his shotgun out from his back and whacked Jeffrey in the face with it. Jeffrey, however, just kept walking with a braindead look on his face.

Shed paused for a moment. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait...what're you showin' me again?"

Jeffrey quickly pushed some of the leaves away to reveal a bright red barn, four...ponies, on it? One was a large red stallion, another an aged green mare, the third a young, orange mare, and lastly a yellow filly with a pink bow in her mane.

Shed stared at the farm. "And your point is? All I see's a barn an' some ponies. 'F y'all're askin' me, that barn's like, thirty years outta style." He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled at the barn. "HEY, DUDE, THE 80'S CALLED, THEY WANT THEIR BARN BA-Naaah, too generic."

Jeffrey raised a finger. "I was thinkin' we could ask the owners fer a cattle trade er' somethin'. Question is, if they're

people who dun like others on their land, how do we talk to 'em?"

Shed smirked. "Simple. We dodge the shotgun shells."

The two slowly approached the barn, careful to avoid the ponies. Jeffrey had to be dragged my the collar of his overshirt because he was standing, staring at the ponies in delight.

"C'mooooon, Shed! I wanna ride one! Jus' one! Can I a'least pet 'em? SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!" Shed approached the door and knocked. He waited a minute before the door opened, and the...red stallion answered it?

The stallion, despite being an equine, was clearly shocked. He opened his mouth, and the brothers were expecting a loud neigh or whinny, but instead the pony...Spoke?

"Uh...Applejack, what're these things?"

Shed stood in disbelief. "You...just...talked..."

Jeffrey had a different perspective of things. "So we get to cattle trade, with talkin' ponies? OMAHGAWD THIS IS THE BEST
DAY O' MAH LIFE."