6.5: Pinkie Pie trial

‘’Bored. Bored. Soooo bored. I'm all alone and boredom is my only companion. But the saddysad part is that she is an awful companion. Gaaaaaah.’’

Say the pink pony spread on the cold floor after a long time being trapped in a room filled with no stimulation which for a pony as hyperactive as Pinkie could be considered a kind of slow torture.

‘’Geez, when that gray pony who sees all in gray will finally come talk to me because I had been here for like forever doing nothing so much that my brain had started to rot which is the opposite of the joyous festive mood I much prefer to have. Phoey. The only thing I can do is play with the fourth-wall. This wall. The one I am pointing with my hoof. And that is right in front of my eyes. Is it not right Wally?’’

The white wall opened up its big mouth and said to Pinkie:

‘’You know I had always wondered how can you know I am the number four. I mean we all look the same, it is not like there is an order in the first place.’’

‘’Hahaha you are so funny. Good thing I have you my new imaginary friend. Well, there's also the roof but it does not want to talk to me because he thinks he is above me. ... ... I am lonely. I already miss my friends. Can you not tell me how they are doing?’’

‘’Hum, I don't know if you have noticed but I came from your head so I can only know what you already know.’’

‘’Hey! Are you saying I am loony!’’

‘’Must I emphasize that you are talking tough a wall. Walls don't talk if you have forgotten.’’

‘’!!!! ... ... Should I find it weird that my delusions have more common sense than me?’’

‘’*sigh* I am not being paid enough for this.’’

‘’Pay! You are a product of my imagination, you are not being paid for this. Hum hello? Hello! Hellooooo! ... ... ... Annnd he ditched me. That's not nice. Now that I think about it, why did I imagine a stingy imagery friend. Sometimes I wonder if I should worry with how my brain work. This is lame. Playing pretend had only made me feel more depress. Nothing can replace true friends in the end.’’

Having failed to make her boredom disappear, the pink pony on the floor took from her puffy hairs a deflated rubber balloon with the same color as her. She blew in it to inflate its elongated form and twisted to make a puppy figure. Then she disassemble it and rearrange it into other figures again and again with a sur-pony speed and the ability of a master. And a disinterested face.

The projection of Mel finally decided to come.

‘’Ding ding ding, it's me Miss Pinkie Pie. Didn't wait too long?’’

‘’Whaaaaa!!!’’

In her fright, she had let's go of her balloon and it flew in all directions, making an annoying sound. Mel, waiting to put a first word at his sentence, just followed with his eyes the flying pink annoyance until it can finally stop making noise. Which seems to take an absurd and law-defying amount of time.

‘’This is ridiculous.’’

Losing patience, he just sends a block and with deadly precision, it smashes it to the ground. And a cloud of confetti exploded from the deflated balloon.

‘’What the!!!’’

‘’Surpriiiiise. At last you're here, the boredom was killing me. I had thought long and long about how to make you less, hum, cynicmeanie and the answer was obvious. I had improvised a small party that will bring your smile back. Is it not great?’’

With a wave of her hooves, confetti and ribbons came flying all around. She took from her hair a party hat that she put on her head.

‘’There is nothing more like a party dedicate to somepony to put back a smile on a lonely soul like you. Once you see that even your prisoner care about you, you will surely change your way. Well say like that it seems a little twisted and a cause for concern but, mehh, details.’’

‘’*sigh* How did I make for not seeing that coming?’’

The pink pony had put a party blower in her mouth and took from her hair a accordion, don't ask how, and played it while singing and bouncing on her tail under the rain of glittering confetti.

‘’Alright, and a one, and a two. Welcome welcome welcome, pony who is gloomy. Smile smile smile, today is your day. Your friend Pinkie is wholly, here to show you, somepony care for you, so don't be lonely. Come on Melly, sing along. No need to be grumpy, life is lovely. No need to be so vile, it is best to smile. So let me give a hoof, by playing the goof. What are you doing, play along. Where is your sense of enjoyment? *FWEEEEET*’’

*SMASH*

In an instant, two blocks came and crushed between them the still blown party blower.

‘’Ah I'm sorry but I'm afraid my sense of enjoyment is very flat.’’

The blocks went away. Time seemed to be frozen, except for the iris of Pinkie shrinking in fear and looking at the now all flat and useless blower.

‘’*fweet**fweet**fweeeeee*’’

Also, she accidentally snaps her accordion in two.

‘’Do I have your attention now Miss Pinkie Pie.’’

‘’Hum, yeah, yeah. I will calm down.’’

‘’You have pulled quite a stunt, I admit it. It is hard to predict your next move, you can be so random sometimes. Wait, did I say random! Oh that wrong, that so wrong. Many would probably see you like that but I know there is more in you than meet the eyes. I can see there are actually a lot of methods in your madness. And I can somehow tell that your brain is like an engine always working in turbo mode and going in all directions for the goal of fulfilling your life goal. And what is that goal. Why, it's to spread joy and happiness to all ponies.’’

‘’Ah, at least somepony who understands me. You have no idea how many think that I have, how they say already... no deep. I don't know why.’’

‘’You're just no good to translate your unique mindset to others. But let us go back to your personal quest. In a way, you are the opposite of me. You find great joy in life and you make great efforts to share it with others to the point to make it an art. Bigger than life parties, tasty confections, hilarious gags, there's just no end to your arsenal of weapons to bring laughter.’’

‘’Truuuue. I don't want to brag but I am pretty proud of that.’’

‘’But at first glance, it may appear like if you are a pony who is always happy and never sad. Consequence, it makes you look like a pony who is not sincere.’’

‘’Arrh, here we go again.’’

‘’But that the point, but I say 'the point', that makes you so special Miss Pinkie Pie. You are not obvious or blind to pain and sorrow. You do feel them sometimes, I'm sure of it. But regardless, instead to stay gloomy, you find back, no, you fight back for your happiness. And because you can, you know your neighbors can do the same and so you show them the way by making them laugh. And I must mention you do have a natural for that.’’

Another screen appeared at his side and showed a successive series of images. They were all about Pinkie in various funny situations.

‘’Hey that me during a party where I had tripped face first on the cake. We had all laughed so much that we had stomach cramps. Now that's me with my head stuck in a bocal, don't ask how it happens. Now that's me after a wrong experience of Twilight that had made me become a blonde with white fur. And the most comic is that I had noticed nothing for an entire day. What a surprise. And that hey waitwait, how did you get those images in the first place!!?’’

‘’Oh that. They are just photos taken by the fans of you and your friends. The fans coming from Happy Town of course. They always send at least one photographer in lookout in Ponyville. Especially toward you. They just love you that much and your hi-jinks. At their defense, they far to follow you in perpetuity, it's just that you are a magnet to funny situations. It makes their job so easy.’’

‘’Well, if they can get a laugh out of it, that's neat. And a liiitle creepy. But still neat.’’

‘’But this brings me to ask you a important question.’’

‘’Sure, shoot away.’’

‘’... ... What is humor?’’

‘’Huh!’’

‘’I mean, why humor exists? What are the reasons for ponies to have invented it.’’

‘’I... I don't understand the question.’’

‘’That alright. That pretty alright. For now. Instead, I think it is time for your trial to begin.’’

‘’Ooooh, that do look fun. What will I have to do?’’

‘’For the moment, the only thing I can tell you is that this trial will be separate into two parts. Go through that corridor so you can go to fulfill the first one.’’

‘’Okie dokie lokie. I'm sure I will ace it.’’

Once the wall opened itself, Pinkie Pie went to it, bouncing joyfully. Mel just stayed where he was, silently following her with his eyes until he opened his mouth and say:

‘’You know, you are tricking no one.’’

She stopped dead on her track, stay completely still for a moment, and then... turned her head to look at him with her usual cheery disposition.

‘’Huh, I don't see what you mean?’’

But there was nopony to greet her sight. The screen had disappeared. She was all alone.

‘’Hum, what a strange and silly fellow, heheheh.’’

She went to the corridor while still giggling to herself. But as the doors closed behind and everything went darker, her eyes and laugh took a more nervous tone.

The pink mare went into a room exactly like the first, which for her meant boring and dull. Well, not quite. She noticed that right at the center, there was a cubic pedestal. This, of course, tickled the curiosity of Pinkie. She approached it, but she then felt apprehension and stopped. Then she walked toward it again and stopped again and again and again, until she at last reached it.

She was there and there was something on it. A small object, so little compared to the big surface of the pedestal. It was of round shape, made of gold and had the Equestria crest on it. In other words, it was:

‘’A... bit!? What is a bit is doing here? If it is for pocket change well then that silly since he owns the place then he could give me anything for free so having money is useless. No wait, stay concentrate Pinkie, that can't be right! There must something special about it.’’

She hides behind the pedestal with only her eyes peeking above and precariously extended a hoof toward the token and gently tapped it many times like if she was fearing it makes explode. But when nothing happens, she realized:

‘’But... it is really nothing more than a normal bit!’’

‘’But yes. Just a bit. A simple coin.’’

‘’Whaaaa!!!’’

Pinkie Pie nearly had a heart attack. She turned around, grabbing behind her the pedestal like for dear life and saw Mel who was resisting laughing. This made her annoyed, which was rare.

‘’COULD YOU PLEASE NOT DO THAT! Usually I love surprise, but not today.’’

‘’But I know that. However it's not time for fun, the first half of your trial begin. And now, a simple game.’’

‘’A game!’’

‘’I you want to take that bit, flip it and play a game of coin toss to see if it land on head or tail.’’

‘’Wait, you telling me it's really all I have to do?’’

‘’That is all.’’

‘’Really! Ohoho, you have scared me for a moment. I thought I will have to do something hard but that easy-peesy. Should I must choose heads or tails?’’

‘’No, you don't even have to choose. Just flip it and see the result.’’

‘’No problemo Melly. ... ... Do I win something based on how the coin land?’’

‘’Well, although the result would be important, I can assure you that you will win or lose nothing.’’

‘’(That...! What does he want with me? Not once I was capable of reading his intentions. Even my Pinkie Senses didn't act a single time. He is making me anxious to death and I don't like being anxious to death. It's like, the worst kind of being anxious. But I guess all I can do is doing what he wants.) Alrighty, then time to flip that bitsy.’’

She took the bits and flipped it in the air.

The coin went up, nearly flew. Even if it had the weight of two fates on its shoulders. But only one of them could become real and soon it will have to choose. As it spin around, nearly with mockery, it shows for just a split-second which face Lady Luck will select for then reject it and choosing is opposite for then repeating the cycle again and again. The tension was so high that it was like time itself had slow down and the bits seemed to move at a nerve wrecking low speed. And as it started its descent, while it was in a state of being head or tail at the same time before//

Pinkie stomped on the coin in mid-air and flattened it on the white surface.

‘’Sorry, it was becoming ridiculously dramatic for nothing.’’

She took off her hoof to look at the golden coin.

‘’Oh oh, it's tails. The bit landed on tails.’’

‘’I see. Tail it is then.’’

‘’Well that was rather ordinary. If it was me that was in charge, I would make far more fun and interesting games. And parties too. You should see what I planned at the last one it worked so well everypony became so competitive that it end in a food war and//

‘’Hahahahahahaha.’’

‘’Wh, whaaat!? ... Hey... hey, why are you laughing, I didn't say anything funny? Stop that please. Stop that I had said, you, you not making any sense.’’

But he didn't pay any mind to her and just continue to laugh. Until he stops. Abruptly. Without hints. Like if it had never happened. Or maybe it was a sign he was just faking it.

‘’Sorry but I just never see somepony trying so hard to be in denial.’’

‘’I, hum, I don't see what//

‘’Enough games Pinkie. You are the poor prisoner of a madpony, me, and lives are on the line. You just cannot be that obvious. We, after all, had both agreed that you are a pretty clever and aware pony. The proof is your attempt at throwing a party at me. It might seem wacky but it was not dumb, it was actually pretty smart. Showing care to our captors to awake his sympathy. A very sound tactic. It just happens that your captor has a very cold heart. As I had said, humor is your best weapon. But not only for helping other but for helping you to keep a cherry disposition. By believing something that is not. Like that something scary is not. But if something is scary, it is often because it is dangerous. And believing it is not scary does not change its dangerous nature. It is still a treat of some kind. Like right now. You think I did not notice that not a single time you have asked about the bombs? About what lives I had used as incentive.’’

‘’Bahh. I know that you are not serious about your threat, that it is just a hoax to make me comply. I'm an expert of pranks. I mean, who could send somepony to ba-dabim ba-daboom town just like that.’’

‘’Ah! You are not believing a single word of what you say. Then I suppose you are not interested to know that one explosive is hidden at Sugarcube Corner and that if I detonate it, the Cake family might perish and you will never see them again.’’

‘’Whawha, WHAAAAT!!! ... ... Nooo no no no no no, you won't get me with your tricks Melly. Besides, when would you have the time to... to... (Wait! Oh no! OH NO!)’’

|***|
two months sooner
Sugarcube Corner

At the kitchen of the bakery, the repairman was busy putting his repair to the oven of the Cakes. Pinkie Pie came from the doorway, bouncing happily with a tray of cupcakes on her head.

‘’Howdy blue collar canine friend. How is it doing, not too much hardship? Weeell, III imagine it must be after the mess I made. I don't know what happens, I just wanted to experiment on a new recipe but I may have been too experimental and used weird ingredients, which half may have been questionably approved for pony consumption guidelines, and when it baked in the oven it just went BOOM. You should have seen the mess I'd made yesterday. Miss Cake had said it was one of my records. Well... anyways, sorry to have bothered you, you are a real lifesaver to have.’’

The little Diamond Dog turned his head from the pink pony and used his buckball cap to hide his eyes.

‘’Oh no, no, it's, it's quite alright, it's been no problem, I, I just have finished.’’

‘’Oh I see, you are quite shy. It's alright, I have a friend who is like you. But still, in thank for your hard work, I had decided to give some of my best cupcakes, free of charges.’’

The Diamond dog turned his back on her like if he was ashamed.

‘’Nono please, I can't accept them, I don't deserve *kouf**kouf*, hum I mean I can't take them because, hummm, I have diabetes.’’

‘’*gasssssssp* The worst disease in the world! Oh my poor fellow, I cry for you. I know, I am going to throw a party at you with my best sugar-free desserts. Wait! Now that I think of it, I had never seen you before. *gasssssp* That mean you are new in town! So I have to also throw you a welcome to Ponyville party. Or I could combine the two to form a super-mega party, that should super-duper fun and maybe I hunnnn... but where did he go?!’’

The dog and his toolbox was no longer there. She frantically look around and saw that the backdoor closed itself, implying he gets out in a hurry.

‘’... ... ... Was it something I'd say?’’

**|**

‘’(Ooooooh. That's why it seemed to me those dogs were looking familiar.)’’

‘’I see you realize I'm quite serious. Well, don't misunderstand, it is not like I am mad at you for laughing the situation out. You even make things easier for me. What you did is after all a practice so common. But still I want you to keep in mind that if you don't complete the second part, there will be serious consequences. Unless you want that a happy couple and a pair of adorable twins die and be reduced to nothing more than ash. Ohhh I wonder, have you ever made a party for funerals? You will see, it is like a birthday, but in fact... all the opposite.’’

‘’!!! S, sorry, I'm, I'm not a big fan of black humor, never really was, hehe... heh... heh...’’

But Mel didn't answer back. Instead, he just stared at her with an inscrutable expression without moving. Well, not quite. He was also tapping at the armrest of his throne with the tip of his hoof. Two little taps, then silence, then two little taps again and so forth and so forth.

It was like hearing a heartbeat.

And for Pinkie it was like hearing her nervous heartbeat. Numerous anxious thoughts were swirling in her head since the beginning, but she had tried her best to push them away with happy thoughts. But now they were taking all the place. And like as if he could read in her head, the tapping of Mel was going faster and so the beating of her heart and so her dread and, and…

No longer able to contain it, it explodes in a vile wave ensnaring her heart in a tight grip and Pinkie charged to the next hall, running and screaming like a hysterical.

In the third room came the party pony running as fast as a car. Once she arrived, she brakes. Seriously, she even made the sound of a braking car. Her legs were shaking, not just from exhaustion, and she had difficulty to find back her breath.

‘’*pant**pant* Okay *pant* okay I'm here so what I have to do so I can at last get rid of this game that doesn't deserve to be called a game.’’

‘’Hey hey, that not like you. Where did your levity went?’’

‘’Like you had said, things are super duper serious and this is no time to laugh.’’

‘’Well that a shame because that exactly what the second part is, to give me a big laugh.’’

‘’Wha!! OH COME ONNNNNNN. Why do you play with my nerves, it is for torturing me that's it, torturing ponies is how you get your fun, huh huh, well guess what, that suck and you suck and I officially put you in my black list of ponies who don't deserve to be invited to my parties and you will be the first one on it because I had just invented it.’’

‘’Oh my, coming from you it means a lot. But let us not get distracted. What you will have to do will be very easy. First, you will have to go to that corridor//

‘’What, another go to point A to point B! That begins to be repetitive. But I suppose it can be tolerable if it still follows the rule of three//

‘’And that you laugh during the whole trip inside. No need to be a big laugh, I just demand that there be no interruption until you reach the end. And also no running. You must walk. Break only one of those conditions and... well, you know.’’

‘’Oh great, now you want me to laugh when I don't want to. YOU REALIZE YOU ARE MISSING THE WHOLE POINT. Urrrrh fine, let get over with it. Ha. Ha. Ha.’’

‘’Now wait. Before, there is something I want to show you.’’

Two other screens appeared at the sides of the one showing Mel. The one to the left was showing a mare unicorn with white fur and black hair and the one to the right was showing a pegasus stallion with brown fur and red hair. Pinkie Pie was very surprised because she knew to those two ponies very well. She was seeing them on a daily basis.

‘’Do you recognize them Miss Pinkie Pie?’’

‘’Why yes, they are Sugar Lefty and Righto Dough. They are my supplier of sugar and flour. Those two are really nice ponies, always have the time for a joke. Well except if those two are in the same room because then, ooooh, they produce enough sparks to light the room ablaze. ... But... why are you showing them to me? What do they have to do with anything?’’

‘’I admit I had some difficulty finding a trial perfect for you. So I had to dig very deep about you to find something. And then I found out about those two acquaintances of yours. And it was like fate was on my side. Sugar Lefty, through her ingenuity, had managed to create a process, using numerous precise spells from her horn, that change cane sugar into a white sugar and that with an optimal quantity ratio. Righto Dough, he had invented an unusual method using his wings to purify the grains and his pegasus abilities with weather to bring them to the perfect moisture. Those two are like reflection of each other. Ambitious and prideful.’’

‘’Yeah but I still//

‘’And because they are so similar, they always compete to surpass the others in sales. To the point that it became their life goal for years. Their bickering and rivalry had become for all Ponyville a sight as common as a natural phenomenon. Nopony expects that constant to change and nether you or those two, I'm sure of it.’’

‘’(And he rambles and he rambles. Gosh, he must really love the sound of his own voice.)’’

‘’So why don't we change all that, shall we?’’

‘’Huh?!’’

‘’It turns out that I have given to those two, special gifts.’’

‘’Hum... good gifts?’’

‘’No. Baaad gifts.’’

At the heart of Ponyville, there were two buildings next to each other that were so identical that they might have been reflections of a mirror. They were quite large. But only the floors above were used for housing. The floors below were purely used for using industrial complex.

Lefty Sugar and Righto Dough were sure ambitious ponies. They had decided to create their own company by themselves, borrowed massive sums of money from the bank to buy their equipment. And now, they had prolific sales. At Ponyville. And sometimes outside. But principally at their local town. It's not that their products were bad, quite the contrary, they were top-notch. But there only so much they could do alone, even if Ponyville was grateful of what they offer to them. Still, they were both enterprises that were very profitable. Say what you want but having a company with only one employee have a gift to spare costly expenses.

A shame that what they truly desire is to be the best in the industry.

These two have the very same dream. And bad luck over bad luck they had bought the buildings the very same day. And went they meet for the first time, they did not see each other with a good eye. They wanted to be the best and so they saw another having the same ambition as an obstacle to climb. And that rivalry had quickly rise in intensity so much that their bickering could be now considered a natural landmark of the town.

But in the end, the true reason they could not tolerate each other was because they were identical.

Tonight, they did the same thing they did nearly all night. They are working very late to produce their selling products. That why they were blissfully unaware of the commotion happening at the park. Lefty Sugar was in front of her lab table full of interconnected alembics and distillation apparatus. She had the outmost concentration, constantly using the magic of her horn to heat some apparatus to a precise degree and add the right dosage of ingredients with the delicacy of levitation. On the other hand, Righto Dough was busy using his wings to make an air current as powerful as an industrial fan and blew it on his grains to take away all impurity lighter than the grains. Then, he took the grains, put it on a silo, lifted a small cloud above it, tap it, and small droplets of water fell on the silo, filling its inside with moisture that will help separate the husk from the grains before the grains will soon go to the grinding machine.

But he made a mistake and tapped too hard, it made the cloud made a strike of lightning. It was an inoffensive one, not dangerous, but it made a loud noise, enough to startle Lefty, making her put too much of calcium dioxide, ruining her sugar processing. Her face was becoming red and steam was pouring from her hears.

No capable of holding her rage, she galloped to the window facing of her neighbor, open it and shouted:

‘’You big doofUSSSSS. My batch is ruined because of you. Go back to pegasus school and learn to properly handle clouds instead to have your head in them.’’

Righto did the same and opened his window to face her.

‘’Well excuuuse me but it's not my fault if you are such a klutz. You should leave that job to the professionals.’’

‘’You did it on purpose, I am sure of it now. You feel threatened so you sabotaging my production.’’

‘’Ah, you wish. You need no help for that. If you want my advice, you are getting too old for that work, you senile.’’

‘’You're one year older than me idiot! You're the one that should close shop at last, the world will be better.’’

‘’OH GO BACK ON YOUR DINOSAUR.’’

‘’WHAT THAT'S EVEN MEAN?!’’

‘’Hum, well, FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF.’’

And they both shut the window with violence.

‘’Witch.’’

‘’Cretin.’’

Having used all the stupid insults that had come in their heads, they both went back to their daily work. But then, they both heard a... strange noise.

They at first were confused and were at lost at what it could be. It was a continuous noise that was sounding like an alarm of sort. Those two ponies were so perplexed, nothing in their respective mini factories could make that kind of sound, it just didn't belong. They stretched their hears to find the source of that peculiar sound. And they both found it. For Lefty, it was coming from one of her shelves. For Righto, the source was on his desk. They were both coming from a pair of white sculptures.

Dodecahedron.

What more, those things didn't just produce sound. A red blinking light was flashing from the top of those weird sculptures, like if they were beckoning to passersby to come closer. Which our two ponies did. They both found it weird and were not sure to what they were seeing but they were not afraid. Not really. Curiosity was taking so much place that there was no room left for fear. Sure, it was bizarre but still, what harm those things could do, they were telling themselves subconsciously. And so slowly, they came closer to their respective dodecahedron.

From the point of view of Pinkie Pie, she could see the face of those two acquaintances of her being display on two other screens. She would normally have found their perplexing look very comical. If the situation was not so tense.

‘’Do you see that, Miss Pinkie Pie? We are seeing those images from the two machines that I send them by mail this very morning. Ah, I had written that they were prizes from a made-up association, given to talented entrepreneurs. I knew they will joyfully treasure them. There is no more reliable people than prideful people.’’

By Pinkie could hardly hear him. She had a very, very bad feeling about this and a sickening cold was forming in her chest.

‘’And... what... do you want to do with them?’’

‘’I am going to show them, no, to show to all that great misfortune can fall any days. Without warning. Without any defense against it.’’

‘’You... are going to hurt both of them!’’

‘’No. Not at all.’’

‘’!!! Oh... ... fiouf.’’

‘Just one of them.’’

‘’Wait, WHAAAT!’’

‘’But tell me, how do you think I will choose the one among those two, hummm?’’

The cold that was trapped in her chest was now spreading all over her body.

‘’I see that you have guessed right, Miss Pinkie. That's right. The coin toss. I will decide with the results with the coin that you had tossed. I had told you the result will be important. Now what it was?’’

‘’No... no please, don't.’’

‘’Ah yes, the bit had landed on the tails side. But which of the two is tails? Hum, which one it shall be, which one it shall be?’’

‘’I beg you... don't.’’

‘’Well, the answer is...’’

Lefty Sugar, no longer able to hold back her curiosity, decided to stretch her hoof to touch that weird sculpture. But just as she was about to graze it, the alarm and blinking stop. A click noise came from its inside and at the surprise of Lefty, that thing transformed before her very eyes. It had only lasted a instant but that thing was no longer a geometrical figure but a machine looking like a menacing spider.

‘’Hun, wh, what is that!?’’

It was so out the blue that the unicorn did not know how to react. She was in such a shock that the idea of running away was not even coming through her mind. As for the bots, it fixed its eyes, or the closer of what it could be considered eyes, on the unicorn as if the robot wanted to establish a lock-on on the scared mare. Which what was exactly what he did and once he had her in its sight, it…

Did absolutely nothing.

The robot just went back to re-becoming a dodecahedron like if nothing had happened. Lefty was even doubting she saw something happen in the first place. She just stay sitting here, having no idea what to do. Except twisted her face in bewilderment.

‘’HuuuUUUN! ...Wh, what was that all about?!’’

‘’AAAAAAAAAAAH!’’

A blood-freezing scream of pain scared the hell out of her. It was enough to make her believe for a moment her heart had stopped. That scream was not coming from here but from her neighborhood and she could have heard it even thought walls were separating them. And she knew to whom that voice belong far too well.

She was terrified but even before she realizes it, her hooves moved by themselves and she went galloping to the outside, nearly smashing the door. Once in the cold air outside, she dashed to the reflection of her workhouse-house and once she barged in, she could see her lifelong rival wriggling in pain on the floor. And before him, on a desk, was one of those spider like machines. This one had two mandibles shaped like two mini cannons. They were red from heat like if they were iron coming out of a forge. The robot retracted into its inoffensive shape, its deed apparently accomplish.

But lefty could barely took notice of the thing. All her attention was focus on that poor pegasus that was agonizing.

‘’Righto! Oh Righto, what does that thing did to *gasssssp*!!! (Oh no!)’’

When she saw what was his injuries, she was so in shock she had to use her hooves to hold-back screaming.

There were two gaping holes on the wings of Righto Dough. Two holes of nothing in the flesh and feathers, made in clear cut circles which the borders were still slightly burning, explaining why there was no blood gushing out from the wounds. And also why it was so painful. As for the pegasus in question, he was crying like a child, all ounce of pride he had was now gone.

‘’It's hurt, it's hurt, make it stop, make it stooowhaahaahaahaa.’’

‘’Don't, don't worry, I, I, I will go get help, I won't be long I promise.’’

She went galloping faster than she had ever galloped in her life and once outside, she screamed at the top of her lungs:

‘’HEEEEELP. SOMEPONY PLEASE HELP. A PONY IS INJURED, HIS WINGS ARE BADLY HURT. CALL AN AMBULANCE, HE NEEDS A DOCTOR, FAST. PLEASE HELP, HE... HE NEEDS HELP PLEASE.’’

Her cry was working. Many windows that were dark before were lighting up, showing that ponies were waking up. She was not sure if it was wise but she decided to get back inside to see how Righto Dough was doing. She could not bear to leave him alone.

The poor was still crying hysterically. So she embraced him to try to reassure him.

‘’It's hurt, my wings hurt so much.’’

‘’Shhh it's okay it's okay, help will soon come. I will stay here with you, I am not going anywhere.’’

The panic of Righto was soon given to Lefty and her too was starting to cry hysterically just like him. Righto wanted to see how his wings were but it was a bad idea. No need to be an expert to see they will never be used again.

‘’My wings!! My wings are ruined! I, I, I will never fly again! It's over, my job is over, I can no longer do my job! ’’

‘’Don't speak like that, everything will be alright. (Nononononono, not like that. Please Celestia, I don't want to win like that. Not, like, that.)’’

‘’Who did this? Why me? Why did it happen? Whyyyyy?’’

The whole debacle had been transmitted through the holographic screen before disappearing into static. Static being reflected on the now empty eyes of a pink pony.

‘’What... what did I just see? It was a joke, right? A bad joke, right?’’

‘’A bad joke, indeed it was. But one very real. Because the coin you had landed on tails, one pony had lost forever his job and dream while the other had obtained her dream in her way that repulses her so in a way, she had also lost her too.’’

‘’No.. this... it's not my fault. There was no way I could have decided how the coin would have landed. It's not my fault!’’

‘’But of course it is not your fault.’’

‘’Hun!?’’

‘’Making you feel guilty was never the goal of that trial. If you had obtained head instead of tail then Lefty would have lost her horn and then it would have been her that will have lost her job and dream while Righto would have become the best of the two in a way that will make him incapable to enjoy it, that I am sure of it. All the opposite, but at the same time, all the same. So you see, it really had no importance how you will have landed the coin.’’

‘’Then why doing it in the first place? It's just... ridiculous.’’

‘’Ridiculous, humm. Oh I think you have no idea how 'much' ridiculous it is. Let's recap. Their lifelong goal had been forever ruined like vlam, in an instant and it was impossible for them to predict it and it happens, because, their fates have been sealed by something as innocuous as a coin toss, but, the result had no importance so cursing their luck would be useless and, the one, who threw the bit was none other than their biggest purveyor, because, she was forced to do it by a madpony who had threatened to blew-up her friends and all the ponies mentioned before were dragged in this cruel game, because, the madpony that happen to be me had their sight on them for months, all for, the simple goal to be ridiculous for the sake of being it because I want to teach ooohohohohoh oh no oh no please stop, just stop ohohoh even I can take that seriously, it's, it's just too absurd to happen. ... ... ... Oh! Who would have thought. It really did happen.’’

Pinkie realized just how true it was, she just couldn't deny it no matter how much she was trying. Normally she would laugh at something so absurd, finds it goofy but instead... ... instead she was feeling as if the group beneath her feet was crumbling and that she was falling, falling down.

‘’Let's go farther, shall we. I had just proven that absurd moment could happen. So, does it not mean it could still happen in the future? But thinking about that, does it not also mean that it could have already happened in the past and that we just don't know it? Or... ... maybe we do know it. Know it well. So well that we constantly cover our eyes and ears, to no longer know it. Tell me, what do you think?’’

‘’I... I...’’

‘’Ah that's alright. I think you are already starting to realize what I mean. And anyway, we have wasted enough time with chatting. You still have your task to do after all.’’

‘’Huh! My... my what?’’

‘’You mean you forgot! Remember, you are suppose to walk through the end that corridor while laughing.’’

‘’What, but, but, but there's no way I can laugh after... after that happen! It will be like laughing at their misfortune, there is nothing funny in that.’’

‘’Curious. I though laughter and humor were most often used to make something not funny, funny. But if you are not comfortable with that, I can still...’’

Mel took a relaxed position on his throne, rested the side of his head on his hoof while the other was dangerously close of a holographic display and it was pretty obvious what its function was. His detached eyes lowered to look at the pink pony who was at the verge of crying.

‘’Miss Pinkie, I will do you a favor. I will not ask for a sincere display. You can do it half-hearted if you want. If it is too hard, you only have to tell yourself that you are not at fault and that all the blame repose on me. It's the truth anyway. But, you, must, laugh.’’

‘’... ... ... ... Ha ha. Ha ha.’’

And so she did. Having no real choice, she complies and laugh or at least, did a parody of a laugh that had no strength and no sincerity. She went forward at a walking pace since she had no right to proceed other way. Once inside the corridor, she continues to do that fake laugh like if she was a broken answering machine looping the same message. She just wanted to be quickly done with it and the walk felt like a painful eternity.

But it was then that they appeared. Holographic windows on the walls. They were displaying frozen images of Pinkie Pie in unexpected comedic moments. The same images Mel had shown to her at the beginning. The surprise had nearly interrupted her but she knew she was not allowed to stop until the end so she forced herself to continue her faking. And right now, she was not capable of finding them funny because it was making her think about the cruel nonsense that had befallen Lefty and Righto because... because... ... ... because they were just like that sick joke that had befallen Lefty and Righto! Unexpected. No way to defend. Mind-boggling.

Absurd.

Could Mel be right, was what Pinkie was telling herself. Could absurdities like that was happening constantly, even on normal days? Does there was truly something funny in the first place? Or the reason we all laughs at things like that was that in truth it was for hiding how... ... how terrifying it is to be constantly the helpless preys of absurdity?

The laugh of Pinkie a little more strength. The fake one was changing into a true one. One of nervousness. And she continued her walk, she was starting to wonder what was truly funny while she was assaulted by the uncaring words of the gamemaster.

‘’Yes. As I had said before, the world is absurd. And it is why humor is our most ancient weapon. But because it is called a weapon, it necessarily mean there is something we need to be protected from. We try our best to hide ourselves from the fact that the universe is always laughing at us and that we serve as its playthings. And we can do nothing about that. The best we can do is deluding ourselves. But no matter how we try to deny it, the truth is still the truth and it will eventually bite us one day. Farewell Miss Pinkie Pie. And learn well that lesson which is

Pinkie Pie trial
All humor is derived from fear

One child at Ponyville was taking pretty bad the last attempt of Mel at being... pedagogic. The child in question was the colt at whom a bucket of water had fallen on his head this morning. Sure, it had been traumatized and he was sad for Pinkie since Pinkie Pie was for him the most fun pony in the world and he was even admiring her. But there was more. He did not like the message of Mel saying that life was more scary than you think. He did not want that to be true and was shaking his head without stopping chasing the terrifying idea from his head.

But of course he did not succeed. And then, came to him an intrusive thought. He came back to the little incident this morning, the one about the bucket. All the water came to him first and then the hollow side but... what if it had happened differently, he was telling himself. What if the angle had barely been different? Then all that heavy weight would have fallen on his head and…

Was he right to have found that funny?

‘’Good. Very good. What I am saying there, it was more than good, it was perfect. Even in my wildest dreams, I had never expected my project to go so well.’’

Was what Melancholia was telling himself while he was softly rubbing the blue jewel of his necktie. From many screens, floating around him, he could see the ponies around the many monitors spread across Equestria. And the faces they were making were pleasing him. He had made an impact on them. Feeling satisfied, he dismissed the screens with a wave of his hoof and they all disappeared. Leaving him alone, sitting on his throne in a room of pure ivory, so huge and empty one couldn't help but to feel it had the majestic of a cathedral.

‘’You know... I was sure something would have gone wrong. Sure, I had meticulously planned everything to make certain all would work but... but you know, I just had ranted about how life is absurd and that was just a few minutes ago. Anything could have happened. A gizmo who works wrong, an outside force who wants to intervene, or even one of the Mane 6 could have surprised me with their behaviors. That all went so well make me feel really bliss. I could even believe that the heaven want me to succeed. And now, here we are to the last part. The conclusion. If this to go well, then I will know for sure that my game will shake the citizens of Equestria to the core. Do you want to know what finalé I have plans? Ah stupid question, of course you don't want. Miss Starlight.’’

From above came a monolith as white as everything else. And fixing on it was the unicorn Starlight Glimmer, spread like a cross. Electrical arcs were surrounding her hooves and seem to serve the same role as clasps. As for the prisoner, she looked bored but a spark of hatred was shining brightly in her eyes.

‘’I would prefer if you do not speak to me like if we were buddy. It is so enraging.’’

‘’Oh, this was what it looked like? My apology. Please don't take personally, sometimes I have a lot of difficulty interacting with others.’’

‘’And take that damn smug look out of your face. I do not see of what you can be proud. You act as if you had created something wonderful. But all I see is a monstrosity. All I see is you mutilate the hearts of my friends. If I could still use my magic, believe when I say I would make you pay right now without blinking. So much that you will fear me for the rest of your life.’’

‘’Hum. Sound fair.’’

‘’Why you! Don't think you will get away with this. All Equestria know your evil deed, there is no way for you to run away. Someday at least, somepony will make you answer for all you have done.’’

‘’As I have told before, it is of no importance. As long as I can complete my project and spread my message, nothing else will matter.’’

‘’!!! You... you really don't care about yourself.’’

‘’No, not at all.’’

A quick glance was more than enough for Starlight to see there was no lie in his eyes. He sincerely, genuinely, does not care about his well-being. A cold spread all over her body, washing the anger away. It is hard to see the point of wanting to hurt those who couldn’t care less about being hurt.

‘’What... is wrong with you?! All the villains we have faced had at least self-interest like motivation but you don't even have that. Why are you doing this? I just can't understand. Is it just because you are being rejected by your town? Don't you see you justify all the bad things they are saying against you if not worse? What your little sister will say?’’

‘’It is sad but it is something I must do. As we are now, ponies are too innocent. Too pure.’’

‘’Oh yeah, having a pure heart is suuure to be a bad thing.’’

‘’*sigh* Looks. I understand that from your point of view, what I say does not make sense. But trust me, being innocent and happy-go-lucky at that level is not a good thing. Pain always finds a way to find you. If you are not capable of imagining all the forms and ways, it will come to you... then when it will hits you, you won't be prepared. You won't have the tools necessary to deal with it. And then, there is a danger they try to escape the pain by doing awful things. It happens.’’

Starlight wanted to retort but the then past come back to her she bitted her lips in frustration.

‘’Well... I... kinda see your point. But does it excuse to hurt ponies?’’

‘’Alas yes. If I just tell my lessons, they will fall into deaf hears. I know that far too well. The innocence of ponies is just too ingrained. If I want to make a change, I need to show them something brutal. Something that will stab them at their hearts.’’

‘’*sigh* Looks Mel. I... I too did the same thing. I too had once tried to change the world, to... make a revolution of thoughts as you call it. At a time, I had truly believed that cutie marks were evils, that demarcation was only creating barriers that were stopping us to truly be united. That belief was so powerful that I was sure that it realization was justifying everything. So I had made my point of view be understood by using extreme methods. But I was wrong. I was no more wise than my neighbor and was I was doing was plain brainwashing. So please Mel, don't make the same mistake as me.’’

But the gray pony did not give her any answers. He just stays there, looking down.

‘’Mel, open your eyes! Don't you see that you’re breaking ponies to the point of never being repaired? Don't you see you are taking lives? How can you think that this is right?’’

For the first time, maybe the very first time, it might have looked like if a true expression of sorrow was forming on his face. His smile was still there but it was now a smile so sad. Starlight was finding that he was looking like a child that was lost. So lost that he did not know how to express it.

‘’'Right', you say. It... is a long time that I no longer know what is right or wrong. I am sure you must think I am crazy. Insane. Well guess what... I am sure you are right. Even I can't help but notice that my head no longer works the way it's used to be. But you know the funniest part? I am not even able to care.’’

‘’Mel! What has happened to you to make you that way?’’

‘’Let's just say... that isolation has a way to break a pony.’’

But this display of genuine melancholia quickly evaporates, like if it had never been there, and instead came back his usual amiable and serene disposition. It was like seeing a happy face painted on a doll.

‘’But now it is not the moment to be sappy. The great conclusion is coming so I have to work hard to make it unforgettable. I have after all a princess to put under the spotlight and thousands of viewers to satisfy.’’

At the mention of her friend and mentor, all the pity inside Starlight went away, pushed back by her anger who came back in double strength.

‘’Don't you dare hurt Twilight! I won't let you. You have done enough harm like that. I will make you stop!’’

She tried her best to break off her restrain by sheer will but she was incapable to muster any strength in her muscles. It seemed that those electrical restrains were also somehow making her hooves numb.

‘’It is no use Miss Starlight Glimmer. Those restraining steles had been designed to nullify every possibility for a prisoner to escape. And I have another bad news. You won't stop me. No instead, it is all the opposite that will happen. You will help me to hurt Twilight.’’

‘’Me!’’

‘’You remember during our confrontation? When I had said I did not expect that you will be coming with them? That you were a nice bonus. I meant what I had said, you were a happy miscalculation for me. With you added to the lot, my plan for her is sure to succeed.’’

‘’And... what... do you plan to do to Twilight?’’

The plastered smile of Mel grew slightly. Combined with his empty eyes, it was the face of pure malice.

‘’Tell me. You did not find it weird that I had shown to Twilight the diffusion of all the trials of her friends when I had shown nothing to the other fives?’’

‘’What do you mean?’’

‘’You will know soon enough. But for now, to make sure the finale will be perfect, it is time for you Miss Glimmer...’’

The blue circuitry lines went coursing once again on the skin of the gray pony. Floating blocks, the sizes of little birds, came from upwards and downward to regroup behind the levitating throne of Mel. They were like a pack of birds of preys just waiting from the order of their master.

‘’To go on a little makeover session.’’

And now that the order was given, they flew toward their target. The defenseless Starlight.

‘’Oh no, no, mercy. I beg you, please don't do that, no no NOOOOOO!’’

Author's Note

Fiouf. That one was not easy. When Mel had say he had difficulty finding a trial for Pinkie, it was also the truth for me. Pinkie Pie trial had been the most hard to design. I only had the vaguest of idea when I had begin that fanfic. I was afraid that I would not have succeeded to well convey the message of that trial and that it may have become the worst of the bunch. But surprisingly, it may in the end have turn out the best one.
And yes, the reason if I had came out with the characters of Lefty and Righto at the start, was precisely for that moment. I am sure that when you had read the chapter 1, many had say: ''What was even the point to put those two out off-context ponies in the first place?'' Well now you know.

Alright, now only Twilight is left. Soon it will be time for the grand conclusion of the game. But it will be far to be the conclusion of the story. Anyway, I hope you will like it.

Oh right! I had nearly forgot. It is 25 December. It might be one day late but

Merry Christmas everypony.