La Danza del Dragón

by Gnarl

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Trixie, Spike, Comedy
Length: 4248

Spike is annoyed. Starlight's friend Trixie Keeps bragging that she knows Spanish and it's gotten really annoying. He can't take anymore and with some adivce from Discord, a plan unfolds.

Trixie keeps bragging about how she can speak Spanish but she never speaks a single word of it. Her bragging starts to grate on Spike as he's the one who has to listen to it all day. There's a ponyville talent show tonight and with a little help from his friendly neighborhood chaos bringer Discord, He makes a plan to make Trixie either put up or shut up. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

Published 2019-01-25 19:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-03-03 07:44:19 UTC

Revenge is best served... in Spanish?

"... The prince and the border guards were nearly at blows when Trixie came upon them and offered Trixie's services as a translator. Trixie stopped what would have been a declaration of war on Equestria because of Trixie's perfect understanding of Spanish!" Trixie preened while she lazed on a couch in Twilight's castle library, spinning yet another tale about 'the Great and Powerful Trixie'. Spike sighed heavily in annoyance. This was the seventh 'true story' Trixie had spouted since she sat down. And he had been having such a nice day too.

Don't get him wrong, Trixie can be a nice mare and all, and he enjoys her shows just as much as the next drake, but she still has a problem of hamming it up to eleven and blabbing nonstop. This time it was all about how she could speak Spanish and how 'the great and powerful Trixie' saved something or did something awesome. She could spin a good yarn, he'd give her that much, but it was getting really old, really fast.

"You know," Spike spoke up as he put different books back, getting Trixie's attention.

"It'd be more believable if you could actually speak a sentence in Spanish." He commented dryly. Trixie gaped for a few seconds before turning her head with a huff.

"Trixie can speak Spanish, Trixie just does not wish to speak it at the moment." She said as she rolled off the couch and trotted out imperiously. Spike Just shook his head in resignation, Trixies' stubbornness made Applejacks' seem like jumping through hoops in comparison. With a tired sigh, he went back to placing books and grumbling to himself.

"Sometimes I wish Trixie would just put up or shut up. I enjoy a good story, not outright lies." He said as he pulled a bookmark out of a Daring Do novel.

"Why not call her out on it?" Discord asked as Spike pulled him out of the book, making spike yelp in shock and breathe fire as a defensive reflex. Discord twirls out of the way and the book is consumed by emerald flames. Spike gets his hammering heart under control and glares at the smirking draconequus.

"Nearly give me a heart attack why don't ya, Discord." Said chaos maker just snickers in response. Spike gives a long-suffering sigh before going to get the broom and dustpan with Discord floating along beside him.

"My question still stands though, why not just call her out on it? As you said, she'd have to either put up or shut up." Spike paused for a second to think before he grabbed the cleaning tools from the closet.

"If I'm being honest, I enjoy her stories, they have a real creative flair to them. I just don't like it when she says she has a skill that she obviously doesn't have." Spike explained. Discord nodded while his bread stroked his chin before a light bulb appeared above his head which he plucked and ate with a crunch. Rubbing his paw and claw together she smirked widely and making Spike start to feel nervous.

"My dear, dear drake, what would you say if I told you I have the perfect way for you to learn if she can actually speak Spanish while having a bit of fun as well?" Discord asked as he stood on Spikes right shoulder in miniature form. Spike blinked. He hadn't even see Discord move or teleport.

While Spike had a healthy grade of suspicion for the Chaos lord he was curious and decided to hear Him out.

"What do you have in mind?" He asked tentatively. Spike shivered when he saw Discord grin.

"I can't believe I agreed to this," Spike mumbled to himself as he searched the castle for Trixie. He did have to admit it was a fun idea and if they could pull it off it'd make for a funny story, but he also had the feeling it could go very badly. Spike paused in his search as a sound reached his ear. Following it, it leads him to the kitchen. Inside he found his quarry sitting at the table loudly munching on a bowl of hay crisps. He has no idea how somepony can chew so loudly with their mouth closed. Stealing his nerves and with a straight face, he enacts faze one of the plan.

"Hey, Trixie?" He calls out, said mare turns her head and blinks at him. A lone hay chip was slightly sticking out of the corner of her mouth and spike had to fight down a humorous chuckle.

"Yes, Spike?" Trixie asked after swallowing.

"Here we go." He thought.

"I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me later this evening. I'm performing an act in tonight's talent show and could use your help." He said with what he hoped was a winning smile. It must have been because Trixie looked quite happy.

"Of course Trixie will help you. What do you need Trixie to do?" She said excitedly. Anything to do with the stage had her raring to go. He couldn't help but give a true warm mile at her foal like joy and exuberance.

"Remember earlier when you were telling me all those times you saved Equestria with just speaking Spanish?" He asked making Trixie pause and blink.

"Yes?" She said cautiously.

"Well I'm doing a song number in Spanish and I'd like you to translate it for the crowd. If you can speak it half as good as your stories say then you'd have no problem helping me out with my song, plus I'd really like it if you came to the show with me." Spike noticed Trixies eyes' widened significantly, and she gulped hard. He felt a small sliver of guilt snake its way into his heart and made him start rethinking this plan.

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea. I don't want to be a jerk after all." He sighed in his head, his heart winning over his want to poke holes in Trixie's pride.

"Actually, never mind, you're probably really busy, so... I won't bother you with this, Sorry." He gave his excuse and started to leave.

"I'll do it." Spike halted mid-step, his mind trying to process what he'd heard. Trixie never spoke out of the third pony, at least that he'd ever heard so it was a bit shocking.

"Huh?" His brain so eloquently supplied for him to use. Trixie circled one of her hooves on the floor in shy, non-Trixie like manner as she responded.

"I'll help translate your song, Spike. Thank you for inviting me to the show with you." Her cheeks were slightly flushed making Spike think she was not used to others asking her for help. This was a side of Trixie he'd never seen before, and he kind of liked it if he was being honest. She shook her head a bit before speaking again with a haughty smirk.

"After all, Trixie did bring down the salt cartel of Maregentina when she was able to translate what Trixie had overheard the cartel goons talking about where they kept their goods. It was the dead of night, clouds were covering the moon as Trixie..."

Aaaaand, she'd back." Spike's shoulders sagged in resignation as he just pulled up a chair and listened to Trixie's supposed tales of heroics.

Pobre Unicornio... tal vez no?

"I'm not so sure about this, Discord," Spike said nervously, watching the current act as he waited for his turn backstage in the town hall auditorium. His annoyance at Trixie had long since grown quite cold and this prank was feeling more and more like going too far.

"My dear Spike, who am I?" Spike twisted his head to look up at his partner in this prank with an uncertain smile.

"Chaos incarnate?" Spike suggested, not really sure what Discord was getting at. When a massive grin split his face Spike figured he got it right.

"Correct my scaly friend, and being Chaos incarnate would I know the differences between what kind of chaos is being caused?" His eyebrow rose as he smirked at Spike before it took flight and flew out an open window leaving Spikes jaw gaping like a fish before he got ahold of himself.

"I... I guess so." Spike wasn't really sure what he was getting at but he didn't feel like Discord was doing anything bad. Discord just smiled and patted Spike on the head.

"Then trust me when I say, that what we have planned is good chaos," Discord said, "I'm the lord of chaos after all so I should know what I'm talking about." Applause from the audience made both of them look out the side curtain. The current act had finished and was making their way off stage. Spike felt his nerves start to stretch and he gave a shudder thinking about all the ways this could go wrong.

He felt a paw clap onto his shoulder and he looked at Discord who gave him a reassuring smile. Spike took a deep breath to steady his beating heart and gave his best-determined look back. Discord just nodded before another lightbulb appeared over his head, then the bottom popped and it flew around backstage like a ballon.

"I almost forgot, if you're going to sing in Spanish you need to look the part..." Discord snapped his paw and Spike saw the world blur for a second before it returned to normal. Felling a weight on his head he reached up and grabbed what had to be one of the biggest hats he'd ever seen. That wasn't the only thing either. Looking down, taking extra care not to fall over from the hat, he saw he was wearing some kind of woven blanket with a hole for his head in the middle and his arms out the open sides.

"So I thought Getting you a Sombrero and Punchu would do." He nodded his head then snapped his paw one last time. Spike wasn't sure what he did but he didn't think on it long as he heard Mayor Mare calling his name. Spike took another deep breath and walked out on stage.

"Estoy aquí, Estoy aquí." He called out making him grab his mouth in shock. He looked back toward Discord and saw him in a Mareiachi costume and a guitar in his claws. Spike didn't get to say another word as Discord walked out on stage with him getting quite a few gasps from the audience.

"Hola, Mares, and Gentlecolts." Discord addressed the crowd with a flourish of his hand. He started strumming his guitar letting the music soothe the worries of the nervous ponies.

"Welcome. Tonight, for your entertainment, my good friend Spike will be performing the Maregentinian ballad 'The Dance of the Dragon' In its original Spanish." Spike was still a little miffed that Discord switched his spoken language but just decided to roll with it as it wasn't the stranges thing The Chaos Lord had ever done. Grabbing the brim of his Sombrero He tilted it slightly and winked at one of the mares in the audience. He was surprised and extremely confused when the mare's face bloomed bright red and she started fanning herself with a hoof.

The sound of hooves on wood drew Spike attention to stage left and he felt his breath hitch slightly. Trixie had forgone her normal 'wizard-like' stage attire and was walking onto the stage in a lovely green dress with silver accents. She'd styled her mane and its gentle curls seemed to flow down her neck and frame her sparkling blue eyes. Her smile seemed to light up the room with how happy she was. Spike found speech near impossible as Trixie saddled up next to him and gave him a saucy wink.

A soft chuckle from Discord broke him out of his brain lock.

"Trixie LulaMoon has generously volunteered to translate." Discord announced and floated up and off to the side still strumming his guitar. Spike glanced over at Trixie and caught her doing the same. He couldn't help but smile and nod his head slightly and he received an even happier smile from Trixie in return. Facing back toward the audience he took a deep breath and waited for Discords musical cue to start.

Discord played a short ascension of notes and Spike started to sing and dance.

(*Spike singing will be in bold Trixies Translation will be normal*)

"Miren el dragón" Spike started swaying to the left as his dance began.

"Watch the Dragon," Trixie translated watching with just as much fascination in Spikes dancing as the audience.

"vean cómo se mueve"

"See how he moves,"

"como un manticore"

"Like a Manticore,"

"tras un ratón"

"Chasing a mouse," Trixie was very much amazed by how Spike was able to dance and sing at the same time without any jarring of his voice.

"Miren al dragón"

"Watch the Dragon,

"qué suaves movimientos"

"Oh how smooth his motions,"

"es como mantequilla"

"it's Like butter,"

"en un chango pelón"

"On a... Bald... Monkey?" Trixie shot Spike a very confused, nervous glance when she heard some of the audience snickers. Spike just paused for a second and nodded before continuing. A small nervous smile formed on her lips but she soldiered onward regardless of her nerves.

"Miren al dragón"

"Watch the dragon,"

"los otros"

"All the others,"

"envidian a su amigo"

"Envy their friend,"

"como él quieren bailar"

"Wishing to dance as he," At this point, Spike was twisting a turning in his dance with such grace Trixie almost forgot she was translating and not just watching him perform. She felt heat creep into her cheeks as she watched him twist and twirl, the image of him holding her in his arms as they danced together under the moon popped up making her blush intensify. Getting a somewhat decent hold on her rising emotions Trixie stuttered slightly in her translation.

"dragón bailarín"

"D-dancing Dragon," Trixie took a quick deep breath to steady her nerves.

"dragón bailarín"

"Dancing Dragon,"

"dragón bailarín"

"Dancing dragon,"

"baila baila ya" On this line Spike sent Trixie a playful grin and dancing up to her side he gently bumped his hip against hers, getting her to giggle softly.

"Dance dance yeah." She smiled at him. He felt a pang of guilt strike his heart and looked over to Discord who still floated there playing the music. A third arm appeared and gave him a 'go on' gesture before vanishing. He steeled himself and just went for it.

"Miren al Unicornio"

"Look at the unicorn,"

"¿no es triste?"

"Isn't it sad?"

"Ella no Puede bailar" Spike sang as he did a little twirl.

"She can't dance," Trixie froze stiff as the words left her lips. Her head turned toward Spike and he gave her a teasing smirk. The gasps of shock from the audience were not helping.

"pobre Unicornio"

"Poor unicorn,"

"ella desearía poder bailar como el dragón"

"She wishes she could dance like the dragon," She stared at Spike in shock and felt her cheeks flush with embarrassed anger.

"libre y suavemente"

"Free and smooth," She narrowed her eyes sending Spike a glare but Spike just seemed to shrug it off.

"pero no puede danzar"

"b-but she c-can't," She translated and her anger erupted. Stomping right up to Spike she yelled at Discord.

"Alright, Stop the music!" She yelled and Discord plucked a sour note in his haste to stop playing. She leveled a glare at Spike who just smiled back at her.

"What do you mean that I can't dance?! Of course, I can dance. You saw me dancing at Pinkie Pie's Pasture party! Didn't you see me dancing at Pinkie Pies Pasture party?!" She shoved her forehead against his and tried to glare the smirk off his face.

"No comprendo." Was what he said but it was the farthest from what he wanted to say. Spike was terrified at the moment. He was singing the song like he was supposed to when Trixie started getting really mad before yelling and stomping his way. To make things worse when she spoke all he heard from her was gibberish, he didn't know what was going on.

It got worse when Trixie's magic flared bright and he was yanked off his feet and shook him slightly.

"No comprendo?! I'll show you no comprendo!" Trixie growled out and was about to send Spike through the wall when somepony clearing their throat caught her attention and her blood ran cold. Her head turned woodenly and gazed out toward the town all filled to the brim with ponies. All of them staring. Staring right at her.

Trixie's magic sputtered out as her fear overwhelmed her control. She tried to give a reassuring smile to the audience but it was more like an embarrassed grimace. Sending a quick, withering glare in Spike and Discords directions she quickly went back to her spot on stage and addressed the crowd.

"My apologies. Somethings were... lost in translation." She said but the confidence she had come on stage with had taken a big hit.

Spike didn't want to continue this anymore. This just felt so wrong now. He turned to tell Discord just that but his body started moving on its own. He sent a panicked look to where Discord was but all he saw was a smirk on his face as he had started playing his guitar again. Spikes body walked over and stood next to Trixie, completely against his will and he started to sing once more.

Escuchen al dragón

"Listen to the dragon." Trixie translated but the smile was gone and she just gave Spike a flat look.

oigan su voz fuerte

"Hear his strong voice." While Trixie was quite upset with Spike she had to admit his singing voice was nice to listen to and she reluctantly found herself starting to smile once more.

como un manticore

"Like a Manticore,"

listo a deborar

"About to eat." She gave a small mental laugh at the absurd descriptions Spike gave for his dancing and singing skills. She was certain now that this was more of a joke song than a real ballad.

Escuchen al dragón

"Listen to the dragon,"

qué dulce es su canto

"How sweet his voice,"

el soplo de su garganta
parece un trinar

"The breath from his throat is like a chorus of little birdies." She couldn't keep a small snort back as she thought those 'birdies' must have deep chirps.

Escuchen al dragón

"Listen to the dragon,"

"los otros"

"All the others,"

"envidian a su amigo como él quieren cantar,"

"Envy their friend, wishing to sing as he," Trixie watched as Spike started to twist and twirl once more only this time he danced around her. She tried to focus on his words and translate accurately but it was a bit difficult as his dancing was hypnotic and entrancing.

"dragón cantador, dragón cantador, dragón cantador, canta canta ya"

"Singing Dragon. Singing Dragon. Singing Dragon, Sing, sing ya" Trisixe was smiling at Spike once more and Spike smiled right back. Too bad, it wasn't by his own choice. Spike was fighting with all his might to gain back control over his body but he just couldn't do it. He knew what was come next and he didn't want it to happen but he was powerless to make it stop. All he could do was watch as Trixie's bright, happy smile shattered completely.

"Escuchen al Unicornio" Spike screamed in his head for this to stop. He didn't want to do this anymore!

"Look at the Unicorn." Trixie's eyes narrowed danegrously, as if daring Spike to keep going. He didn't have much of a choice though.

"¿no es triste?"

"Isn't it sad?" Spike could actually hear Trixie's teeth grinding as she held back her anger.

"ella no puede cantar." Discord, through Spikes body, smiled at Trixie. Inside his own head, Spike watched as the anger on Trixie's face vanished and was replaced by... heartbreak. She blinked as she fought to hold back tears that welled up, threatening to fall.

"S-she can't sing," Trixie said softly, though she may as well have been yelling since everypony heard her. Spikes body just danced and sang on like he wasn't riping Trixie's heart into pieces right now.

"pobre Unicornio."

"Poor Unicorn." Trixie sniffed slightly and a single tearmanaged to escape her control and run down her cheek. Nopony noticed Spike's left eye gained a major twitch as Spike's anger and guilt started to slowly erode Discord's control on his body.

"ella desearia poder cantar."

"She *Sniff* wushes she could *Sniff* Sing."

"fuerte y dulce como el dragón." Spikes movement became slightly jerky as Discords control lost ground, much to Spikes heartache, it didn't stop Trixie's tears from falling.

"S-strong and *Sniff-sniff* sweet l-like the *sob* Dragon."

"Discord!!! STOP! This isn't right!!" Spike screamed in his head with only silence answering him. His head and eyes turned to face Trixie. She was openly crying now. The light make up she had put on had started to run as it mixed with her tears. her eyes, which had shone with happiness and some mischief, were red and filled with pain. There was also a something there that Spike didn't have a word for, like, she had thought she had something but it had been taken from her.

He wanted to stop, wanted to run forward and wrap this heartbroken mare in a hug. To beg Trixie for forgiveness, to tell her he was sorry, that it was supposed to be a prank and he didn't ever want to hurt her like this ever. That's what he wanted to say but it's not what his voice said.

"pero no puede." Spike felt his heartbreak into a dozen pieces at the absolutely crushed look on Trixie's face.

"*Sniff* but she can't." Trixie sobbed. No pony in the audience spoke. all of them were too stunned at what was happening on stage. Many were crying tears of their own. Spike felt his eyes lock with Trixies and his lips pull back, forming into a what looked like a pleased smile.

"ni siquiera da un silbido." Discord had stopped playing music a few moments back and the silence was deafening. a pin could be dropped miles away and it would have sounded like a thunderclap in the auditorium. All that could be heard was Trixie's heartbroken sobs and sniffles.

"She can't even whistle." It was the volume of a whisper but as loud as a scream. With those final words, Spike felt his body come back under his full control. It was too little too late. Trixie turned and galloped off stage sobbing her heart out, leaving Spike drowning in guilt and sadness, the audience shocked and glaring dangers at Spike and Discords laugh as the only sound.

"That was brilliant Spike my boy, you really showed her." Discord floated on stage and draped an arm across Spike's shoulders. Spike didn't utter a single word but his entire body stiffened, his claws clenched tight and anger seemed to cloak him in an aura. Discord didn't notice or just didn't care.

"Well, now at least you know if she knows Spanish or not. Some damn good chaos my scaly friend. Good chaos indeed." Discord smiled so wide his eyes closed so he didn't notice the small, scaly fist that drove straight into his gut at high speed. The blow sent Discord flying off stage, smashing into an old piano and getting tangled in the loose ropes for the curtains. Discord lifted his head causing some broken keys to fall off, clanking to the wooden floor. Rubbing a new bump forming behind his horns he blinked trying to clear his head from the dizzying blow.

Spike stood on stage with his right arm extended in a punch, breathing hard with small flames shooting out of his nostrils with each breath. Barely reigning in his rage so he didn't end up burning the hall down he slowly lowered his arm and glared at a shocked Discord off stage.

"It was supposed to be just a prank Discord! It wasn't supposed to hurt Trixie's feeling like that." His voice was calm but hid none of his anger.

"You call that good chaos? I can't believe I even listened to you." Spike nearly spat those last words. He spun on his heels and ran off the stage in the direction Trixie went. He had a heartbroken mare to find and beg for forgiveness and he would do his darndest to find her.

Discord watched Spike bolt off. His face bore a look of complete and utter confusion.

"Why does everyone always overreact?" He pondered out loud. He shook his head and just chalked it up to a mystery of the universe.

Author's Note

Well... that happened. :twilightoops: Whoever stated 'sticks and stone will break my bones' and so on was a complete idiot of the highest order. :twilightangry2:

Hope you all thought this was a good chapter... Chapter wise, not as is what happened in the chapter was good, as it was very bad... But wouldn't that make it a bad chapter? :rainbowhuh:

But then if it's a bad chapter I didn't write a good chapter but it's a good chapter, chapter wise... which is a bad chapter... ugh, I gave myself a headache. :facehoof: