"No. Fucking. Way."
You usually try not to curse in front of him. Not that it offends him or anything, but he always seems to recoil a bit when you do. Bros gotta respect bros' boundaries, after all. Too bad nopony seems to have told him that, based on the question he just asked.
"Why not?" Thorax asks, with the exact slight recoil that you expected from him. It's hard to tell when the changeling is making puppy dog eyes, what with the whole no pupils thing he's got going on, but you're pretty sure he's doing just that right now. It's the same look he gave you that one day when you were about to eat the last slice of pizza and he really wanted it. It worked that day–and boy, did you regret it when you realized that he'd also finished the last of the potato salad you'd made the night before–but there was no chance of it working today. Not with that request.
"Are you serious?" The question is rhetorical, but you feel the need to cut back on before the horned dork inevitably answers it anyway. "Did you even hear what you asked me?"
You regret the second rhetorical question instantly, because there he is answering it like a goof.
"Of course I did," Thorax replies. "What's wrong with that question?"
If looks could kill, the one you're giving Thorax right now would cause an international incident. The bug would be so dead that the people who make Raid would be breaking down your door to steal your secrets.
"You just asked me if I wanted to snuggle, bro," you tell him.
"I know," Thorax replies simply. "So do you?"
"I can't believe you're asking me this," you say with a groan, setting your book down. Why couldn't this stupid world have television?
"What's wrong with a little snuggle?" Thorax asks. "I'm a really good snuggler."
"You're a guy!" you inform him.
"So?" Thorax says. He shifts back into a normal sitting position; his previous position could only be described as "snuggle-prepared," what with the laying on his back and holding his forelegs against his chest and such. His body language would have done a fine job of asking for snuggles even if he hadn't been asking verbally for them.
"What do you mean, so?" you nearly shout. "I don't have any problem with you swinging that way, but I don't, okay?" You think he's rolling his eyes, but again, the way changeling eyes work doesn't exactly lend itself to being able to notice that kind of thing in them.
"Yeah, there are two problems with that," Thorax tells you, calmly as ever. "First off, the concept of being interested in one gender is a bit lost on a race of creatures who can transform their entire physical makeup at the drop of a hat."
"But you told me you identify as male!" you insist. "So obviously there's some kind of concept there. Don't bullshit me here."
"I really wish you wouldn't talk like that," Thorax says, shaking his head and nearly taking out the nearby lamp with one of those big dumb antlers. "And you didn't let me finish. More importantly than the first bit, snuggling doesn't have to be sexual, you know. Why does everything have to be sexual with you?"
"Says the guy whose race used to eat love," you spit back. You feel bad about that comment almost instantly, as you see Thorax look away and frown. He may be a weirdo who's asking to snuggle with you, but he's still your best friend and the guy who took you in when you dropped into this world in this crazy horse body. As frustrated as you are by the question and the lack of understanding as to why it bothers you, you still feel bad for hurting his feelings. "Sorry."
"It's alright," Thorax says, turning to look at you again. That's the kind of dude he is. A bit weird, but easy to apologize to. "But really, it doesn’t have to be a sexual thing.”
“Two people pushing their often-naked bodies against each other isn’t sexual,” you say flatly. It’s worded as if meant to be a question, but the inflection sure doesn’t match.
“It’s not always two people,” Thorax replies. There’s that little lilt of playfulness in his voice that tends to show up whenever he’s teasing you.
“Well damn, that just makes everything better,” you groan.
“Come on,” Thorax says, sitting up slightly and giving you a hopeful smile. “I promise you’ll like it! I’m a great snuggly buggly.”
The wordplay makes you shudder.
“Never say those words again,” you hiss.
“What?” Thorax asks, leaning towards you with a coy grin. “Snuggly buggly? Don’t you want to see how snuggly a buggly I am?”
You can feel your lunch threatening to make a second appearance at how painfully saccharine those words are, and you give a quick swallow. You’ll be damned if you lose that great PB&J Thorax made this afternoon.
“Please?” Thorax asks. “I promise it’ll be nice. Most of my subjects have snuggled with me, and a lot of them were male while doing it. It’s very normal.”
“Dude,” you reply, crossing your arms for emphasis. “It’s not normal for me. I didn’t just snuggle with my buddies back home.”
“Maybe you should have,” Thorax laughs. “It’s nice. You loved them, didn’t you?”
“Dude.”
“You can love someone without sexuality behind it!” Thorax insists. “Come on, you should know that. Don’t you love me? You said so last week.” There’s a flash of green flame, and suddenly the ~~snuggly~~ bug~~gly~~ that was sitting next to you on the couch is an exact copy of you, and speaks with your exact voice. “Bro, you just saved my gosh darn life. That thing was gonna eat me alive! I love you, man.” Another burst of flame accompanies his changing back to normal. You’re mostly used to his transforming by now, but it still throws you for a bit of a loop when he turns into you.
“First off, I didn’t say gosh darn,” you grumble. “I said goddamn.”
“Well I’m not saying that,” Thorax laughs. “I have class.”
“Second,” you continue, ignoring his jab. “What was I supposed to say? You saved my life. That maul-whatever was gonna eat me alive.”
“Maulwurf,” Thorax says. “And yeah, probably. But it didn’t because of me, and you said you loved me.” He winks. “I love you too, Anon.” The way he says it is just sickeningly sweet...though it does make you smile a bit. Thankfully, you’re able to look away before he sees it, and you’re pretty good at hiding things.
“Well...that’s different,” you tell him, trying not to look at him lest you take sight of the smirk he’s certainly giving you. “That’s platonic love.”
“Still tastes pretty much the same,” Thorax responds with a shrug. You go to shoot an answer back, before freezing in place as you take in just what Thorax just said.
“Wait!” you shout, pointing an accusatory hoof at him. “You said changelings don’t eat love anymore!”
“I never said that,” Thorax answers. His tone is so matter-of-fact that it frustrates you to no end. “I said that we don’t have to anymore. And even when we do, we don’t steal it or trick ponies for it like we used to. We take it consensually, and it tastes much better that way.”
“A-ha!” you exclaim, flailing your forelegs like some sort of ignoramus. “This was all just a trap to eat my love! I can’t believe you’d do that! I thought we were friends!”
“It’s not like that at all!” Thorax insists, a heavy frown crossing his face. “I’m not trying to trick you at all! I just thought two friends getting comfy together and relaxing would be nice, and maybe I could have a little snack as a bonus!” The bug crosses his forelegs and turns away from you. “And frankly, I’m hurt that you’d think I’d do that to you. I actually do care about you, you know.”
A cold silence fills the room, leaving you with a sense of utter douchebaggery. Thorax didn’t have a bad bone in his entire body. Or any bones, most likely, but that was splitting hairs. The point was that he’d simply been offering something that he thought would be nice and totally okay, and you’d gone and insulted him in what was possibly one of the worst ways someone could have insulted someone like him. The guilt is absolutely staggering, and dammit you’re trying to ignore it but becoming a dumb pastel pony seems to have had a permanent effect on your sense of empathy.
“Okay, I’m really sorry about that one,” you begrudgingly tell him. “You didn’t deserve that.” When his frown doesn’t fade, you tentatively pat him on the shoulder. “Come on man, I was angry and said a really dumb thing. I know you’re not like that.”
“Hmph,” Thorax responds. You never would have thought the king of an entire race could act this childish, but there he is. It may be your fault, but still.
“Come on, Thorax, I really am sorry,” you tell him. Getting his smile back has trumped everything else as your most important goal right now.
“Hmph,” he grumbles again. You’re going to have to step it up. You cross your arms. You know you mean what you’re about to say, but it’s still embarrassing saying it.
“I love you,” you tell him. You see one of his ears perk, and he does glance back in your direction, but it doesn’t seem to have had the desired effect.
Then you know what you have to do. You were hoping to avoid this, but your guilt has gotten the best of you, that damnable harpy.
“...Fine, let’s snuggle,” you mumble.
It’s as if someone flipped a switch on the big goof, because he changes almost instantly from pouty and angry to beaming like the goddamn sun. You already feel like you’ve made a big mistake, but there’s no going back now. The words are already floating out there, the bug is already smiling like an idiot, and like it or not, you’re stuck.
“Great!” Thorax cheered, flopping onto his back in snuggle-ready position once more. He’s acting like a grub with how excited he is. You have to admit that it’s kinda cute, no matter how annoyed you are that this is happening. He waves you over with a look that can only be described as seductive. His eyes don’t need to be like yours to be able to read that. "You're gonna love it, I promise! Just a nice ten minute snuggle session and you'll feel good as new!"
"Ten minutes?" you exclaim.
"It can go longer if you like~!" Thorax teases. You can feel your cheeks coloring slightly, and that just frustrates you more.
"Five minutes," you tell him.
"Oh, that's barely enough time to get comfortable," Thorax responds, now holding his forelegs out and waiting to accept you into them.
"Five minutes," you insist. Let it never be said that you're anything but stubborn.
"Eight minutes," Thorax counters.
"Five minutes."
"Seven minutes."
"Five minutes."
"Six and a half minutes."
"Four minutes."
"Alright, alright, five minutes," Thorax laughs. "But you're the one missing out. Now c'mere." He pats his chest with a hoof, other foreleg still outstretched. You regard him with a look of uncertainty as you start to shift positions.
"So...what exactly am I doing here?" you ask, staring at the king like he was some sort of alien. To be fair, based on how people always drew aliens back home, he's not too far off.
"Have you never snuggled before?" Thorax asks. He actually looks concerned at the very idea. What a weird culture he comes from.
"I've never snuggled a bug while I was a horse, if that's what you're asking," you reply. He lets out a small giggle, and even though you're a bit irritated with him, you have to admit it's sort of cute.
"Let's go with my favorite position," Thorax says. "Belly to belly, with your head nestled right here on my chest. It works well with the size difference." You pout slightly. You know he's a big, important king, but being reminded of how short you are compared to him is still embarrassing.
"Fine, let's just get it over with," you grumble. Thorax regards you with a gentle smile as you tentatively move closer. The distance between the two of you was already minuscule, and now it's completely nonexistent as you move between the outstretched forelegs and your field of vision becomes a sea of orange and green. The very tip of your muzzle makes first contact a bit above that big, goofy jewel-like thing jutting out of his neck. The first thing you notice is just how good Thorax smells. You've smelled him before, and he always tends to smell socially acceptable at the very least, but there's something about smelling him from right here that doubles down on the pleasantness of his aroma. You take a deep breath of it, trying to place just what the scent might be. It's no use, but you can't complain much about it.
"Oh, do you like the smell?" Thorax asks. "It's a pheromone. I can't help it. Don't worry, it's harmless. It just happens when I'm snuggling with someone I love."
"You're trying to drug me," you mumble, but it's mostly muffled by the way your face is now pressed against his chest. The texture is much different than you would have expected. You can feel the tougher carapace, but it's under a much softer layer of...slightly-fuzzy flesh?
"It's not like that!" Thorax laughs. His laughter bounces his chest, which in turn gently bounces your head. "I swear, I don't get where others got the idea that pheromones are like a kind of mind control. It's just a pleasant scent." Then he giggles again. "Though if you want mind-altering..."
"No!" you reply quickly. You're not sure exactly where that sentence was going, but you don't want to find out. Right now, you just want to get these five minutes of mandated snuggling out of the way. The big bug must have been entertained by your response, as you hear him giggle again before you feel his forelegs behind your head. He gently hugs your head to his chest and sighs happily. As much as you didn't want to be in this position, you have to admit to yourself that it isn't the worst thing ever. Still, you're not looking to do this any longer than necessary.
"So...it's been about thirty seconds already, right?" you ask. You can almost hear the grin crossing his face.
"The timer doesn't start until you're in full snuggling position," Thorax practically coos. "Come on, don't be so stiff. Put your forelegs around me."
You sigh a bit, but this part isn't completely uncomfortable for you. While you might not have been one to snuggle with your buddies back home, you weren't so insecure in your masculinity as to not be able to hug them. You wrap your forelegs around Thorax's barrel, giving his back a little pat. Touching his back is like interacting with a different being completely. As opposed to the fuzzy orange surface currently being intimate with your face, the purple surface of his back is more like a shell. It's smooth and cool to the touch, and you find yourself rubbing it with one hoof.
"Wow, you were pretty quick to do that one, Anon," Thorax teases. "I would have asked you for more hugs if I knew earlier."
You mumble something that might have sounded like "shut up," had your face not been so ensconced in bug flesh. Suddenly, one of his hooves leaves the back of your head and slides down to your lower back. Then it pulls downward, more forcefully than you could have prepared for. You lose your footing...hoofing? Would it be called hoofing? If they could change "everybody" to "everypony" then anything is possible. Whatever it's called, you lose it, and both you and your ~~snuggly buggly~~ friend let out an oof as you belly flop onto his belly. Now with your entire undercarriage pressed against his, you feel an entirely new sensation. His deep green midsection feels like a mix of the fuzzy flesh that caresses your face and the smooth shell that you just can't stop rubbing. Chitinous, yet still pliant, with a bit of the coolness of the shell but a clear warmth present just below, its surface presses against you, claiming your belly as its new friend.
You're only given a scant moment to take in all this new information before you feel Thorax's hind legs join in on the action. The two strong appendages wrap themselves around you as well, locking you as physically close to the king as you can possibly be without the need for lube. The foreleg that had been on your lower back now moves up near your shoulders. You presume this to be because his hind legs have taken that hoof's job. Your hind legs have also fallen to either side of Thorax's body, but you're not looking to wrap them around him in response. You can't help but feel small in his embrace, what with your head resting on his chest and the rest of your body only barely reaching the end of his. He's got you right where he wants you, and he's big enough to probably be able to do you fairly easily if you tried to escape. Not that escape is really on your mind now; you're a man of your word. Five minutes and it'll be done.
"And the five minutes staaaaarts..." Thorax begins. Then you feel him lean in, resting his chin on top of your head and nestling it into your mane. "Now!"
And there it is. You're now undeniably snuggling with your best friend in this world, who also happens to be a dude. Friendship is goddamn magic.
You try to turn your head to the side despite Thorax's insistence on burying your face in his chest. He lightens up just a bit to allow it, then tightens back up once your cheek is pressed against his chest. Now you can hear the soft, rhythmic beating of your friend's heart, and it is far more relaxing than you'd ever have expected. The way his other hoof rubs caringly up and down your back is practically hypnotic, and if you didn't know better, you'd swear hypnotism was his exact intent. But you know he's your bro and wouldn't do that to you. So you relax, and try to just be comfortable. Not that it's a very difficult feat to accomplish. Thorax's body is far more pleasant to lay on than you would have expected. He's taking long, deep breaths now, and every single one of them has the added side effect of raising your body up and down with the heaving of his belly. This serves to make you feel smaller than ever, but you're gradually finding it harder and harder to care.
You tuck your chin in slightly, and it just so happens to brush along that jewel-like protuberance on his chest. You had expected it to be hard as a rock, but despite looking crystalline, it's soft and squishy, almost like a tiny neck balloon.
You vow to never think or utter the phrase "tiny neck balloon" ever again.
Whatever you decide to refer to it as, it's a lot softer than you'd expected, conforming to your chin as you make contact with it. This intrigues you, and you can't help but move your head more to rub against it, enjoying the way it squishes and contracts with your motions. This has the added effect of you nuzzling your cheek into Thorax's chest; an effect you only realize when you hear him let out an "Aww..." and hug you a little closer with all four legs. You're a tiny bit embarrassed at the mistaken affection, but it passes quickly. You've pretty much reached the point of "too comfy to care."
As if the combination of soothing heart beat, relaxing back rubs, rising and falling breath, and neck thing playing-with weren't enough, the big lug starts to hum. It's not a tune you've ever heard before, but something about it is just so calming. Plus, it adds a pleasant vibration in his upper chest where your head is, as well as on top of your head due to the placement of his chin. You can't help but close your eyes, and the last thing you wonder before you drift off is why you were opposed to all of this in the first place.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Psst. Anon."
Your eyes slowly open as you hear that voice, also feeling the vibrations from it. You feel a bit disoriented, but also quite possibly the most relaxed you've felt since you arrived in this world. You let out a yawn, tightening your grip on the body your forelegs are wrapped around as you do so.
"Heehee...careful, Anon," Thorax whispers. "Don't crack my carapace now."
You shake your head a bit and smirk, turning so you're face to chest with Thorax. You look up, resting your chin on his chest as you see him looking back at you with a wide smile.
"Has it been five minutes yet?" you ask sleepily.
"It's been twenty minutes," Thorax replies, that smile never leaving his face. "I would have woken you up after the five, but you looked so peaceful, I couldn't bring myself to do it."
Your blush is profuse as you take this in. You had bargained this down from ten minutes to five, only to take twenty instead? You're frustrated for a moment, but the moment is quickly gone. What's the point of being frustrated? He let you sleep because you looked comfortable. That's what bros do for their bros.
"So I take it you liked that, huh?" Thorax asks teasingly. He clearly knows the answer already. You briefly consider lying and trying to keep the whole tough guy thing going, but that was already put into jeopardy by the fact that you just used a guy as a bed for almost a half hour. And besides, could you lie to that face?
"Y'know...I really did," you admit to him. He's practically glowing now.
"Told you!" Thorax laughs. "Thanks for not lying to me. Cause I totally would have known if you did."
"Yeah?" you reply. "What if I'm lying now?"
"You're not," Thorax says. "And I know that for two reasons. First off, I could taste the love coming from you. It's really sweet. You should show that side of you more often."
"Yeah, yeah..." you reply, your cheeks a healthy shade of red. "And the second?"
"You've been poking me down there for almost the entire time," Thorax giggles. He wiggles his hips a bit, just enough to cause a rubbing sensation in the exact area he was talking about. You hadn't even noticed that, and now you're blushing even harder.
"W-well...I mean..." you stammer.
"You know, I'm told I'm really good at taking care of that kind of thing..." Thorax coos. When he sees your face hit maximum redness, he relents and boops your nose with his. "I'm teasing, silly."
"Right..." you reply. "You're a jerk, you know."
"But you love meeee," Thorax sings. You sigh, smiling a little.
"Yeah, I love you," you tell him. "Snuggly buggly." His face visibly brightens at that.
"You said it!" Thorax exclaims.
"Yeah, yeah..." you mutter. His smile is infectious. "Tell anyone and I'll kill you."
"Threats of regicide are a very serious matter," Thorax says with a wink. One hoof carefully strokes your mane. "You know, I don't have to get ready for my meeting with Princess Cadance for another hour. You could easily stay all snuggled up until then if you want."
You give it about five seconds of thought, enjoying the eager little face he's giving you, before turning your head to rest your cheek on his chest once more.
"I think I will," you reply.
"And we could definitely do this for a bit every day if you want," Thorax continues, beginning to rub your back again.
"Doesn't sound like a bad idea," you answer, closing your eyes.
"And I know I said I was teasing before, but I'd love to make you feel even better some time if you want~"
You open an eye and peer up at him, very carefully contemplating your words before closing your eyes again. "Baby steps, bro."
"So you're not saying no?!"
"Shut up, Thorax," you say, without a hint of the vitriol usually reserved for that statement.
"Right," Thorax replies with a chuckle. He leans in and places a little kiss on the top of your head before resting his chin there once more and closing his eyes as well.
