The Adventures of Derplight
A blue unicorn scans the room around him. Furniture of all kinds lined the walls with ponies looking for their new addition to the household. Chairs, couches, loveseats, and lounge chairs stood in neat rows, showing off their extravagant colors. One couch was red with a gold trim, another lounge chair shone green.
The Sitting Emporium deep in Canterlot was a busy place. Ponies from all over Equestria came to buy exquisite furniture meant to comfort them in a living room. Sapphire Storm, the owner of the Sitting Emporium, loved to watch over his show floor. To see all of his customers enjoy the comfortable furniture was a delight to him. Sapphire has gone to all parts of Equestria to find the smoothest materials and the most comfortable padding to create his work. But one couch has always eluded his grasp.
The most comfortable couch in all of Equestria. Some ponies whisper about in legend, Sapphire however believes it to be true. His entire life was spent chasing leads, but to no avail. He hears stories of one who does possess it. One who always manages to stay one step ahead...
“Um, excuse me?” a voice stammered from the crowd. “Are you the shop owner?” Sapphire arose from his reverie. He got caught up in his thoughts again.
“Why yes I am. How can I help you on this day?” Sapphire replied.
“I’m actually wondering if you could show me your comfiest couch here? I’m trying to get it for my wife as an anniversary gift and our couch right now is falling apart,” the pony continued. Sapphire’s eyes ticked at the thought. The comfiest couch…
“I would love to provide one that can fit your wife’s needs, but I cannot give you the comfiest couch in all of Equestria,” Sapphire started. The customer raised his hoof to interrupt, but Sapphire ignored his protest.
“That couch is difficult to attain. I know it is out there. Ponies like me have been searching for a very long time.” Sapphire paused. The other pony again tried to interrupt, but Sapphire continued anyway. “It all started ages ago, even before the great Alicorn Princesses…”
There once was a powerful unicorn named Comfy Couch. She spent her entire life on trying to make the comfiest couch in all of Equestria. Countless couches lined the hallways of a lonely castle outside of a nondescript village. Villagers would see very little commotion coming from the castle. Only carts would come in and out of it every week. Sometimes a broken couch would find itself in the middle of the village square. Some ponies would take these couches into their homes since there were very few problems with them.
Comfy spent much of her time looking in spells to enhance the materials that she had gathered. Every spell she crafted and casted failed. Comfy was at her wit’s end trying to make the comfiest couch known to ponykind. Everypony would come from miles around just to sit on her couch. She would become famous and rich beyond all of her desires. Comfy just had to create it…
Then one day, while tinkering with some wanting spells, Comfy casted a spell on one of her couch prototypes. It was a blue couch. Very simple, nothing to extraordinary about its design. She tested it out, and found that the couch was no different than any of the others. Comfy discarded the couch into the village square once more in the middle of the night like she always did. However the next morning, the village was not like its normal self.
Comfy awoke to find that there was a crowd surrounding the square. It was odd, there was no big event going on. It was just a normal summer day. Comfy decided to do what she normally doesn’t dare to do.
The village square was amok with ponies yelling about wanting something. The crowd was crazy, shouts everywhere about wanting something. Comfy levitated herself over the crowd to see what the fuss was all about. As she got closer to the center, she began to make out words from the mess of voices.
“My couch!” “It’s so comfy!” Get away, it is mine!” It’s just so irresistible.”
Comfy couldn’t believe her ears. Was one of her couches actually the most comfortable in all of Equestria? Did she manage to accomplish her lifetime goal?
At the center of all the commotion sat last night’s prototype. The same exact one she just discarded. Ponies were clambering onto it, trying to get a spot on this supposed comfiest couch. Comfy Couch floated down onto her couch and projected a shield around it to push all the other ponies aside. She tested the couch once more and found it to be no different than last night. Though she found it to be peculiar that it didn’t suffer any damage from all the ponies.
The village ponies kept trying to get through Comfy’s shield. They still were trying their best to sit on the couch.
“This couch isn’t that comfortable! What got into your simple villagepony minds that this couch is actually the comfiest?” Comfy snarled to the crowd.
The shield was becoming too difficult to maintain with all the ponies pushing themselves against it. Comfy made a split decision. She couldn’t allow this chaos to ensue, she would need a quiet place to sell an actual couch that was the comfiest beyond compare. The shield began to collapse and the couch with Comfy on it began to lift into the air. All the other ponies were scrambling to catch her, but failed to do so. For Comfy Couch had the magic to levitate the couch, while the earth pony villagers could not reach her.
Soon after Comfy Couch’s escape, the villageponies came back to their senses. And their day went back to normal. As for Comfy, she found a cave to stash away this particular couch. It was causing too much trouble. She sealed it away and left it to be forgotten.
Comfy went on to spend the rest of her life trying again and again to achieve her goal. No couch afterwards garnered the same results as that particular day. She passed away without ever achieving her life’s goal. As for that couch stashed away, that is another tale….