My little werewolf

I am going to make this very clear before I even begin my story; I don’t want your pity. I’m not trying to make you feel bad for me, I’m just stating the facts. Now that that’s out of way, onto the story. I was always a very…. Awkward child. Never knew what to say, how to act or feel. Eventually I tried how to fake certain ways of life to fit in with certain people, from the gritty street rats to the more high class people I knew. It didn’t really work all that well, and ended with me getting my ass beat several times more than usual. Eventually, though, it got to the point where I didn’t know who I really was anymore. Was I some hardcore gang banger, who had no regard for human life, or was I a gentleman, suave and classy? I didn’t know, nor did anyone else. And that’s why I found myself in the predicament I did at the beginning of our tale. I couldn’t take it anymore. I tried just being myself, like everyone had always told me was the only way to get real friends, but I didn’t know who I was. All I knew was a name, which I cursed from the moment I got up to the moment I went to bed, simply because it was my own, and a face, which I would look at every day in the mirror, unable to believe it was me. I couldn’t relate to the face in the mirror. I would see a sixteen year old boy, tired, beaten and dejected, but I felt like I was one of those old men you see in those commercials for that stuff that gets rid of grey hair, with an added dose of depression and lack of purpose. For a while, I found hope and happiness in the cartoon series My little pony: Friendship is magic, but after a while, it was like everything else. I had nothing better to do with my time since I had been expelled, so I had fallen into a routine. Wake up, eat, ponies and music, eat, video games, ponies and music, eat, more ponies, sleep. At this point, nothing brought me joy anymore, so I took the anti-depressants I had recently been prescribed, which ironically had a side effect of severe depression and suicidal thoughts or tendencies, put on my best three piece suit and fedora, cause no suit’s complete without a fedora, grabbed my pocket knife, phone, not sure why though, my i-pod, and my ear-buds, and sat down on the edge of my bed. I put the blade to my left wrist, then hesitated. “Come on, you can do it. All you have to do is press and slide.” whispered the voice in the back of my head I had taken to calling Rage. He’ll be explained later, along with his twin Reason. Anyway, I followed his advice. I knew I could do it, and that I had to. I hadn’t gone through all this trouble for nothing, so I turned on my i-pod, playing “Hard way” by Fort Minor and putting the blade back in it‘s original position. I took a deep breath as I slid the blade across my wrist, and felt a brief twang of pain and guilt. The guilt faded before I could figure out where it came from, and the pain was soon drowned out by adrenaline and the realization of what I had just done. I watched as the blood stained the cuffs of my white suit shirt red. “Not turning back now, is there old friend? Come on, do the other one while you can, it’ll go faster.” came the voice of Rage again. And so I did. As soon as the second laceration was made, the knife fell from my hand onto the floor of my bedroom, as my tendons had finally given out. I began to panic as I felt the cold embrace of death.

“Oh shit…. Oh shit… why’d I do this?” I said as my vision began to blur.

“Because you know better then anyone that it’s never better tomorrow.” said Rage. I could hear Reason in the deepest recesses of my mind, sobbing. I knew I couldn’t stop myself from bleeding out, so I simply laid down on my bed, and let the sweet, sweet void of death slowly envelope me in it’s cold, loving embrace. I heard my door open and my mother gasp and scream as I drew my last breath. The sound of my heart beat was a strangely haunting melody. bum bum…. Bum bum… bum.. Bum.. Bum bum…bum….bum….bum…..bum.
And then it was over. I could feel my heart stop and sit there for a brief moment, like a rock in my chest. But it was only a moment, as the other major systems of my body instantly shut down. It was dark, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. I finally had the solitude I had sought. I no longer had to socialize with my “friends” or the bat shit crazy members of my family. I was finally alone. Or so I thought.

“Well, well, well. It seems you finally took the plunge.” said a voice. It didn’t sound like a man’s, but it didn’t sound feminine either.

“Who are you?” I yelled into the darkness that surrounded me. I heard whoever it was laugh.

“Who I am is of no importance. All that matters is that I have a proposition for you, that I believe you will want to hear.” I had a bad feeling about it, but, being the pillar of common sense I am, decided to hear it out.

“Alright, I’m listening.”

“Well, I have been following your life for a while now, and I know what you want most. You want to live in the land of Equestria, and I can send you there, but in return-”

“Done.” I said, cutting it off.

“Don’t you even want to hear what I want? For all you know, I could be requesting your soul!” it said, causing me to laugh.

“Bro, you underestimate what I’d give to live in Equestria.”

“Well then… just sign on the dotted line.” said the voice. I was confused as hell for a moment, considering I was kinda dead, and surrounded by what I imagined the inside of a black hole looked like. But, a contract and a pen appeared out of nowhere(and I know it was a contract, because it said “CONTRACT” at the top. How original.). I took the pen, and signed where I was instructed without even reading the terms.

“That’s it? No blood pact, no “accidentally” cutting my finger for said blood pact? Just… sign a piece of paper?” I said. “Honestly, I’m a little disappointed.” the contract disappeared, and the voice came again.

“Well, I would but…. Wow, your handwriting sucks! Oh, sorry, as I was saying, I would do the whole blood pact thing, but I find just signing the paper far simpler, wouldn’t you agree?” it said, and we shared a laugh. “well off you go! Give the elements of harmony my regards….” I was confused as to why the voice would want that, but I didn’t have much time to think about it, as I felt myself being dragged away, and saw traces of light. Eventually I felt a throbbing pain in my chest, and could hear my heartbeat. I could smell burning candle wicks, and could hear a voice, but I really couldn’t make out what it was saying. ‘I swear to god, if I’m where I think I am….’ I thought to myself. Then I realized that I still had yet to breathe. I should probably do that, ya know, oxygen and all that happy stuff. I bolted upright, breathing the best breath of my life, and opening my eyes at the same time. In front of me was a very shocked Twilight Sparkle, which to be honest, was almost as adorable as Fluttershy with a juice box. I know, hard to believe, but trust me on this one.

“Well, and here I thought I just sold my soul for nothing.” I said with a sheepish laugh and a slight grin, putting two fingers to the vein on my neck. Sure enough, I felt the vein throb every now and again. I checked my wrists. Scabbed over, and still weeping slightly, but lethally cut like they were earlier. Then Twilight tried to look at them, and I quickly hid them back in my sleeve.

“Well, I’ll ask about your comment later, Christian. Right now introductions, I’m-”

“I know who you are, Twilight.” I said, cutting her off. “Right now, I’m more curious as to how you know who I am.” she looked at me with the most “D’aawww” worthy shocked expression I have ever seen, almost making me regret how I assumed I got there. Almost, but not quite.

“I could ask the same of you.” she said, looking highly uneasy. I laughed.

“I asked first.”

“If I tell you, will you tell me?” she asked. I was worried that if it old her she was a character in a children’s cartoon watched by teenagers and grown men, her head might implode from the defiance of all logic she knew.

“Screw it. Shoot.” I said. When committing suicide earns you ponies, you tend to be a bit more optimistic then usual.

“Alright then, umm, how do I put this….. You and your friends are characters in a cartoon made for foals that is watched by teenagers and grown mares, such as myself. It’s a bit of guilty pleasure.” she said with a sheepish smile. I was highly confused at this point. My life had sucked, not as bad as that of some others, but still, not exactly something you’d want kids to see. And I called her out on that.

“Wait a minute…my life…. Is a cartoon made for young children….. What kind of fucked up shit do ponies let their kids watch?” I asked, earning a confused look from Twilight.

“Well, it teaches them moral values, and lessons about friendship, as well giving being highly comical.” she said, which I found very amusing.

“Look, if that’s what the show is, then either you’ve got the wrong guy, or ponies have a sick and twisted sense of humor, friendship, and moral values.”

“Are you Christian Fleury?”

“Why yes I am. Which one did you want, Christian the nerd, Christian the gentleman, Christian the asshole, Christian the street rat, or Christian, the socially awkward teenager who locks himself in his room and doesn’t talk to anyone for days on end?” I asked, and I was being dead honest. Each one was a completely different person, just with the same face and name. completely different attitude.

“Well which one am I talking to right now?” she asked, giving me this look that told me she thought I was crazy.

“right now your talking to the socially awkward one, who secretly watches shows designed for small children. Speaking of which, you’re a character in said cartoon. Congratulations, you are, by high vote, best pony.” I said, causing her to look more confused than I was moments ago. ‘Please, for the love of god, don’t implode’ I thought to myself. She didn’t, so that was good.

“Wait…. So basically, we are both defying all known logic in our respective realities, at the same time?” she asked, to which I nodded.

“Yeah, pretty much. In fact, I’m defying all logic in both our respective realities just by living right now. Go figure.” I said getting to my feet. Despite popular theory, ponies are actually pretty tall. I’m about five foot eight and Twilight was just above my elbow. Speaking of which, she was still looking at me confusedly. What can I say? I’m a confusing guy.

“And I have a very large fan base in your world?”

“Yep. Out of curiosity, how big is my fan base? I’ve never had fans before.”

“Well, according to a survey I conducted, yours is the second largest. Most ponies are able to relate to you, no matter what background they’re from. Which is part of the reason I brought you here.” I would have mentioned that I signed a contract with who I assumed was Satan to get here, but I figured I’d let her have her moment.
“Oh really? And what was your motivation for this? Why not get best person?” I said, laughing at the twist I made on “best pony”… to (according to equestria daily, alright? This isn’t my view… carrying on.) best pony. The irony… the irony.

“well one of my friends is also a big fan of My little person: Friendship is science, and more specifically you. Her birthday is coming up, so I figured what better gift than a chance to talk with the person she adores the most?”

“Can’t really argue with your logic on that one. So who is it?” I asked. ‘I swear to god if it’s-’

“Do you know who Rarity is?”

‘fuck my life’. I thought to myself. I didn’t really like Rarity. She was to fancy for me, and seemed a bit narcissistic at times. Her standards are WAY to high, either way. “Yeah. I do. Excuse me while I go find some rope.” I said jokingly.

“What would you need rope for?” she asked, causing me to sigh heavily.

“Well first off, I was joking. Second off, if I actually was getting rope, it would be so I could hang myself before I had to deal with her.” I said, earning me a stern look that said ’you’re going to deal with her, and you’re going to like it’ “Nothing personal against her. She’s just really not the kind of person I get along with very well.”

“Why not? You and her seem to have similar interests.”

“How so?”

“Well most people, or ponies for that matter, don’t walk around in suits and fedoras. it’s a nice combination, by the way.”

“Thank you. And I was actually wearing this for a very specific reason.” I said, now realizing that odds were she was going ask what that reason was.

“Damn it Christian, you fucked up big time. Better go find that rope.”

‘shut up, rage.’

“And what reason was that?” she asked. I had to think fast, which was admittedly not a specialty of mine.

“a, uh, funeral, actually.” I said. I technically wasn’t lying, either. I always told myself that if I met a pony, I would be honest with them…. It was a straining thing, considering I lied to most people.

“Oh, I’m sorry for your loss.” she said sadly. I simply nodded, trying not to look to nervous.

“Thanks. Anyway, so, what’s the plan? I jump out of a box, and me and her basically play a game of 20 questions?” I asked with a slight smile. Smiling wasn’t something I did often, but at that time I had something to smile about. The fact that I was in Equestria, talking to my second favorite pony, arranging how I was going to meet a member of the mane six, which would probably lead to meeting all of them. Thank god for the domino effect, eh?

“What? No. well, you will be in a box. You don’t have a problem with that do you?”

“No, not really.”

“good, well when she opens the box, you, for lack of a better phrase, jump out, and then you spend the day with her, then meet me back here when your done. Does that sound like a good plan?” she asked looking at me. I sighed.

“Well, while I would rather be a birthday present to just about anypony else, I guess beggars can’t be choosers. When and where?” I asked reluctantly. Why couldn’t I be Applejacks birthday present? Or Rainbow Dashes?

“Right here, tomorrow morning. I really appreciate you helping me with this, this is sure to be her best birthday ever.” she said with a broad smile.

“Well it’s not like I had any plans for the next month.” I said with a laugh. Also completely true, even if I was still alive in our world. I’m a very unproductive person.

“Why not? Wouldn’t you want to hang out with all your friends?” she asked me, a quizzical expression on her face. Damn the fact that she can make any expression look like she‘s staring into your soul…...

“Not really. Me and my friends have kinda… drifted apart. We don’t hang out as much anymore.” I said sadly. I actually hadn’t seen any of my friends in almost two months. And I really didn’t miss them either.

“That’s so sad! Why wouldn’t you guys hang out as much? You were like me and my friends.” she said, looking very sad all of a sudden. Damn that look. Damn it straight to hell. I will be haunted forever by the face of sad Twilight.

“Well, it’s really just me as far as I know. I didn’t go to public school anymore, so it was harder to hang out with them. Eventually I just kinda became anti-social, separated myself from the rest of the world as best I could. I felt that I didn’t really need friends, because the closer you are to someone, the more it hurts when they stab you in the back. In essence, I gave up. I gave up on friends, I gave up on family, I gave up on love. That’s my sob story.” I said, causing her to look even sadder. ‘someone gouge my eyes out! I can’t this much sad!’ I thought to myself. “But don’t you worry bout me. I’m fine, really.” I said, trying to cheer her up, and failing.

“it’s just so sad, how a group of really close friends can end up spilt apart like that. Are you sure you’re alright?” she asked. She reminded me of how a mother is supposed to be at this point.

“yeah I’m fine. And I also just had an idea…” I said, grinning like a maniac.

“I’m not going to like this, am I?” she said looking worried.

“That depends…….” I said as I smiled and pulled Twilight close, and we began to plot an evil plot. One with lots ponies in it. And unicorns…… that doesn’t sound very evil, does it?