Pony Bowl I

by ThePinkedWonder

Rating: everyone
Tags: Starlight Glimmer, Maud Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Main 6, Thriller, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 4641

Equestria doesn't have a Super Bowl, but it can still have a football game, if someone tells them about it first.

Knowing that football is a sport from Eric Reed's home world that he likes, and misses, Princess Twilight Sparkle thought it'd help his feelings of homesickness to have the gang try to play a game of touch football. She and Starlight Glimmer decided to be the head coaches for their respective teams. It'll be a close, back-and forth, and somewhat chaotic game. With some of the players having a little bit of trouble remembering all the rules, they may or may not make some "rookie mistakes".

Will Twilight's more tactical coaching style lead her team to victory? Or still Starlight's unpredictable play-calling be too much for the team led by the Princess of Friendship?

This isn't a sequel to it, but like similar stories I've wrote and still writing, it does take make after the events of my "A Giant Adventure to Equestria" story. There's the link to it, if you want to check it out.
http://www.fimfiction.net./story/427481/a-giant-adventure-to-equestria

Published 2019-02-09 16:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-09 16:10:01 UTC

Chapter 1: Game Day

Hey there folks. Eric Reed here.

It's been many months since being sent, and stuck, in Equestria. I'm at home here, and fully accepted being here the rest of my life, and I've made great friends here too. However, that doesn't mean I never miss being back in my old human world. I can talk to a member of my family weekly, thanks to a special spell that my two Equestrian big sisters, Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer, learned, so that's a huge help to prevent feeling homesick.

But I still sometimes miss being at my favorite places in my old world, or doing some things from it, such as play or watch my favorite sports. One of those is American Football. Equestria has its sports too, like Buckball, but it's not football. I've been wanting to play, or at least watch it again. Problem is, it doesn't exist in Equestria.

I've told Twilight a little about football a couple of times, when I was telling her some stories about what I did in my old world, and it peaked her interest. For one thing, It can have not only a rulebook, but a playbook! That's two kinds of books for that Alicorn to read and study!

Ok, ok, jokes about how much Twilight loves reading books aside, she really was interested in football a bit. All our friends know it, but Twilight (and Starlight) in particular knows how I sometimes miss being in my old world, and tries her best to either keep me from feeling homesick, or help me through it when she couldn't prevent it for one reason or another. Since there's no way for her to get me back to my former world, Twilight would do the next best thing for me: she'll bring my world to Equestria in a way, by asking me from time to time if I want to do something that only my world has, or used to only have, and she was always open to me asking her if we could. Starlight felt this same way too.

Rarely, it would be only me, Twilight and/or Starlight to do it, if the others were busy at the time, or didn't want to do whatever it was. But most of the time, at least some of the others would join in too. Especially Spike.

One day, when I was feeling a bit homesick, Twi got an idea. She asked me to tell her, Spike, and Starlight about all the rules to football, she (well, technically Spike) wrote them all down, and they mastered them faster than you might think.

Why? Because they wanted to help me teach the others, if they'd want to play it, and most did. Four days later, it was Gameday. For the first time, we were gonna be playing a game of football!

At a freshly made full-length football field, complete with it's own scoreboard thanks to Twilight and Starlight's magic, Twilight, I, and many of our friends gathered for Equestria's first football game. It's gonna be, including the Quarterback, a four-on-four game. To make sure Applejack and Rainbow Dash wouldn't get carried away and start fighting because of their rivalry, again, they're on the same team.

On Team "Appledash" it's: Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Big Mac, and myself. Twilight would be our Head Coach, would pick our plays, and Spike is (Of course!) her Assistant Coach. Rainbow would be the Quarterback on offense, and be the "blitzer" on defense. I will hike the ball, before going out on a passing route. Oh, and Twilight suggested the team "Appledash" to make Applejack and Rainbow Dash happy, since they'd love to have their name in the team name.

On Team "Points", it's: Trixie, Pinkie Pie, Ember, and Maud, and Ember wasn't going to miss being a part of this! Starlight would be their Head Coach, would pick their plays, and Sunburst would be her Assistant Coach. The Great and Powerful Trixie wouldn't stop ~~begging~~ volunteering to play the "most important" position. So, to shut her up, Starlight let her be their Quarterback, and would the "blitzer" on defense, like Rainbow will be. She'd be allowed to throw the ball with her magic, as long as she didn't try to steer it with her magical telekinesis, and she Pinkie Promised she wouldn't. In other words, she won't. Just like me, Ember would hike the ball, before going on a route.

If you ask me, I'll say that they could've picked a better team name than "Points". But Starlight Glimmer, their Head Coach, was the one that thought of the name, and she's not the most creative at naming things. Remember how she named her old village "Our Town?" during her "equality" days? I guess getting over her hatred for Cutie Marks and reforming didn't make Starlight any better at giving names.

Fluttershy and Rarity didn't want to play football themselves, but they still wanted to see it, so they just sat back and watch. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom will be the "Waterfilles" for my team, and Sweetie Belle and Diamond Tiara will be the Waterfilles for Team Points.

Discord's even here at the big game, as a referee, complete with black-and-white striped uniform. We would have to hope that, unlike some referees, Discord would always get it right. Because of his reality warping powers, he'll be able to show scenes of what happened on the previous play, so this would allow Twilight and Starlight to "challenge" a play, and they'll be able to do it up to two times. Hopefully, the perfectionist that is Twilight Sparkle wouldn't waste our challenges on something small.

We would play tackle football, but because of the strength and size of some of the players, and I could get injured being tackled by ponies, especially by Earth Ponies like Pinkie Pie, or by Ember, this would be two-hand/hoof/claw touch football. It would have four 5-minute quarters and, if necessary, there would be five-minute sudden death overtime periods. We'd go into double, triple, or even more overtime periods till a team scores, so there would be no ties here!

There would still be four downs to get ten yards, but there would be no "run" plays, and all plays would be passes. They'd be no field goals or extra point kicks, but there could be punts on fourth-down. Touchdowns would be seven points, since there's no extra point kicks.

We decided that one player would always cover a certain player, and these are the one-on-one match-ups.

Ember and Big Mac would always cover each other.

Applejack and Maud would always cover each other.

Pinkie and I would always cover each other.

And, as I've said before, Trixie and Rainbow would always be the "blitzer". However, if for some reason we'd have to change Quarterbacks, then the former Quarterback would take the match-up the new QB had. And from this point on, I'm gonna say "QB" when I say "Quarterback".

Once a play starts, the QB would have three seconds to pass the ball, before the "blitzer" on defense can chase after and try to tag him/her. If a player goes out of bounds un-tagged or scores, a pass isn't complete, a penalty occurs, or the pass is intercepted, the clock would stop. If a offensive player catches the ball and is tagged, the clock will keep running. We'll able to do a "hurry up/no huddle" offense (when I wouldn't go over to Twilight for the next play{s}, and do the next play right away) if we'll need to save as much time as possible, in which either Twilight would tell me the plays to do in order, or I can pick them myself. Team "Points" can do it too, and how they choose the plays in that situation would be Starlight's call, since she's he Head Coach for them.

The QB will be able to "spike" the ball to stop the clock, or throw the ball away out of bounds.

And obviously, flying's off-limits. However, because I can't run as fast as ponies or Ember, everyone all agreed to let Twilight cast a weak speed spell on me, so I could run at about as fast as the others. Trying to cover Pinkie Pie would be hard enough even with this spell!

Twilight gathered me, Applejack, Rainbow, and Big Mac around in a circle, along with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. Starlight did the same with her team.

"Ok, guys, I know you do, Buggie, but do the rest of you remember the rules,?"

Rainbow answered first with, "I remember, Twi,"

"Yep!"

"Eeyup!"

"Good. Now let's try to remember to just have fun, ok, Rainbow and Applejack?"

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Ok, ok, we get it, Twilight. We'll try to be good."

"Good. And they're getting ready to kick off, so get out there to be ready to return the kick as best you can!"

Apple Bloom told us, "Good luck guys!"

"Yeah, good luck, especially to you, Rainbow Dash!"

With that, Applejack, Rainbow, Big Mac, and I got in return formation, with me, Big Mac, And Applejack spread out in a horizontal line, with Rainbow farther back behind us. Twilight picked to have Rainbow return kicks, and the rest of us would try to block for her.

With the ball sitting on a tee, Maud ran to it, and kicked off.

It went almost exactly to Rainbow, who caught the ball, and the rest of my team tried to block for her.

Big Mac ran right into and blocked Ember (the only one on my team who could block her!)

I got in front, and blocked Trixie.

But out of nowhere, Pinkie pounced on Rainbow as she was running, taking her to the ground, at the twenty-five yard line.

On the ground, rubbing her head, Rainbow shouted, "Hey! What's the big idea, Pinkie?!"

"Whaaaat? I tagged you with two hooves, didn't I?"

I facepalmed, and yelled, "PInkie! You're supposed to just tag Rainbow with two hooves!"

"But I did tag her, just like you said!"

Twilight yelled from the sidelines, "No, you're supposed to tag her lightly, Pinkie! That's a tackle!"

Pinkie grinned shamefully, and told Rainbow, "Oh, uh, oops! Sorry about that, Rainbow!" Rainbow got up, glared at Pinkie, and came to Applejack, Big Mac, while I went to the sidelines, to get our first play from Twilight. And yes, she made a playbook.

First and ten, First Quarter/Q1, 4:45 left. Ball's at our own twenty-five yard line (75 yards away from scoring) and the clock is stopped.

I got our first play of the game from Twilight, hurried over to Applejack, Big Mac, and Rainbow, who was still in a huddle, and told them what it was. Applejack and Big Mac would run 15 yards, then make a sharp turn towards the sidelines (Deep out route) and I would go ten yards, then turn around and come back a yard (Curl route) and Rainbow would throw it to whoever gets open first, or is the most open, obviously.

We walked up to the line. I put my hand on the ball, and Rainbow stood behind me by about five yards.

Applejack went to our left by about eight yards, with Maud walking parallel of her to stay in front of her (or "shadowing" her)

Big Mac went to our right, the same distance as Applejack did, with Ember "shadowing" him.

Trixie stood between the space between Pinkie and Maud (but about a yard or two closer to Pinkie) ready to "blitz" when three seconds passed after I snapped the ball. They were all standing about five yards in front of us.

Rainbow yelled, "Red, 75! Red, 75! Hut, hut!"

I snapped the ball between my legs, and ran my route, with Pinkie staying right on me, keeping me for getting open.

Maud stayed on Applejack tight, looking like she's not even trying, through maybe she was. Maud doesn't show many facial expressions.

Big Mac couldn't get any space from Ember either.

Three seconds passed and Rainbow still was holding the ball, so Trixie ran after Rainbow, forcing her to just throw it in Big Mac's direction. He tried to run to the ball, but Ember tackled him before the ball got to him. She forgot that she can't touch him like that, till someone on the offense at least tips the ball that's thrown. Ember also forgot that she can't tackle him either!

Towering over Big Mac, Ember told him, "Ha! You will get no catches with me 'covering you', as it's called, Big Mac!"

Applejack obviously didn't like that, and yelled out, "Hey! What's the big idea, Ember?!"

"What, was I not supposed to do that?" Ember scratched her head.

Discord, our referee, turned himself into a yellow flag, and threw himself on the ground, saying, "Too early a tackle! Ember! Automatic first down!"

Twilight, looking at the rulebook we made as I told her the rules of football, yelled out, "You mean, 'Defensive Pass Interference', Discord!"

Discord turned back to "normal", and literally rolled his eyes. "Well, whatever, it's still a automatic first down! Or is it called something else, Princess Rulebook?"

Twilight rolled her eyes, but not literally. "Very funny, Discord, and yeah you had it right."

First and ten, Q1, 4:35 seconds left. Because the penalty happened at our own 43-yard-line, that's where the ball is now. The clock is stopped.

Applejack, Big Mac, and Applejack huddled back up, while I again went to the sidelines to get our next play from Twilight, then returned to join the huddle. Once there, looking at Big Mac, I asked, "You ok, Big Mac? That was a rough tackle from Ember."

"Eeyup."

"Ha, he'll be all right, Eric. My big brother could take more than that."

"Whew, that's good. Ok, Twilight said to do that play we just did before, so let's do it again, ok?"

All three of them said "Ok", well two of them; Big Mac said "Eeyup"; and we broke the huddle.

We took the same positions we did before: I went to and held the ball, Applejack went to my left, Big Mac went out to my right, and of course Rainbow, being the Quarterback, stood behind me.

Rainbow shouted, "Red, 75! Blue 75! Hut, hut!"

I snapped the ball, and, like before, Applejack and Big Mac ran deep out routes, and I ran a curl route. Big Mac again couldn't get any real space between him and Ember. Applejack couldn't either with Maud. But this time, about two yards before I had to turn, I tried to see if I could fake out Pinkie, who was still right on me. I planted my feet, turned a bit to my left, like I was about to run to the left. She fell for it, and as I finished my curl route, she lost her balance and stumbled, letting me get open.

Rainbow saw this, and threw the ball to me. Pinkie recovered from her stumble fast, ran back hard to try and intercept the ball, which she did, then returned it all the way for a touchdown, and yelled while hopping, "Yes! Go Pinkie, go Pinkie!"

Unfortunately for Pinkie, Team Points, and for that matter me, the pony got carried away when she went to grab the ball, so she ran through me to get it, knocking me on the ground, hard. Somehow, despite being more than strong enough to do it, Pinkie didn't injure me. But being run over like that by not just a pony, but an Earth Pony, with their strength, hurts!

Once again, Discord turned himself into a yellow flag, and threw himself on the ground. "Defensive Pass Interference, Pinkie Pie! Automatic first down!"

Both Twilight and Starlight did not like Pinkie doing that, and they both yelled at the same time, "Pinkie!!"

Still in the end-zone, and confused, Pinkie looked back and forth between the coaches. "What? What did I do...oops." Pinkie realized her mistake when she saw me sitting up slowly on the ground, and hopped back to me, frowning. "Oh, I'm sorry, Eric! I got just a little carried away!"

Rubbing my head while sitting up, I looked up at Pinkie. "Yeah, I think I am. But watch it, Pinkie Pie! You could've really hurt me just now! I get hurt more easily than ponies do, remember?"

Pinkie frowned even more, walked up and extended her hoof to me. I grabbed it as she helped me up, and she promised me, "Aw gee, I keep forgetting that. I'm so sorry, Eric! I won't do it again!"

I told Pinkie not to worry about it, but just don't do it again, and she smiled and hopped (literally) to her huddle. Shaking my head a couple more times, I went back to my side of the sidelines, where Twilight asked if I was all right, and I told her I was. Wow, not even one minute in, and I've already almost had to get carried off the field!

First and ten, Q1, 4:17 left, ball on Team Point's 47-yard-line, thanks to the penalty, and the clock is stopped.

Because Twilight saw how I was able to fake-out Pinkie, even if she recovered quickly and...lowered the boom, Twi wanted us all to go deep, but try to see if we can fake-out the others to get open (AKA a "Double-Move", since that was what I did.) Heh, I should've known that Twilight would start thinking like a real Head Coach before long. Though, Twi's got a long way to go, before being able to coach like him.

I went to my huddle, and told everyone what the play is. We got to the line, took the positions we had the first two plays: Applejack went to the left, Big Mac went to the right, and I prepared to hike the ball, like before.

"Red, 60, Red 60, hut hut!"

After snapping the ball, all three of us ran about five yards, then did the "double move" by planting our feet, pretending to go to the left or right, then kept running deep. Applejack couldn't fool Maud, and she stayed on her perfectly ("Primetime" would've be so proud of Maud!) but Big Mac and I got Ember and Pinkie to fall for it, respectively, and we both got past them. Ember fell for it the most and Rainbow saw it, so she threw it towards Big Mac. But, she threw it about three yards too far, and Big Mac couldn't get to it in time.

While I snapped my fingers out of frustration, and Applejack facehoofed, Rainbow yelled to Big Mac, "Oops! Sorry about that, Big Mac!"

Second and ten, Q1, 4:04 left, ball's still on Team Point's' 47-yard-line. Clock is stopped.

I went over to Twilight, and she said to do the same play again, so I went back to our huddle, and told my team what to do, and then we lined up.

"Red 60, Red 60! Hut hut!"

We ran, did the double move again. Ember and Maud didn't fall for it, but Pinkie did for a brief moment, allowing me to get ahead of her by about a yard.

Rainbow threw the ball in my direction, but slightly underthrew it, forcing me to come back slightly and come back to it. I was still in the position to catch it, but I was getting flashbacks of getting leveled by Pinkie two plays ago, and she was close enough to do it again. Even though she said she wouldn't clobber me again, I still lost focus, and dropped the ball when I got my hands on it.

Rainbow and Applejack facehoofed. While looking at my hands, I yelled to my team, "Sorry guys! My bad!" and I went back to the sidelines to get the next play.

Third and ten, Q1, 3:53 left, ball's still on Team Point's 47-yard-line. Clock is stopped.

Big Mac, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack huddled while I came back with the play from Twilight, then I went to the huddle. Applejack and Big Mac would run nine yards, then turn towards to middle of the field, mostly horizontally, but still going a bit further down the field (Slant route) while I did a slant route too, to the right. Since I was already near the middle of the field when I snap the ball, I couldn't really run "toward" it.

"Green, 10, Green, 10, Hut hut!"

Applejack, Big Mac and I ran our routes. When we began to turn and ran to our left or right, our match-ups; this time even Maud; thought we were trying to trick them again with another double-move, so they stayed back, letting all of us get free. Rainbow passed the ball to Big Mac, and he caught it. He faked Ember out too badly, so she couldn't catch him, but after 17 yards, Pinkie got to and tagged him, gently. I didn't have the angle to block Pinkie, but if I did, he'll scored! But, he did at least get a first-down.

First and ten, Q1, 3:38 was left, as I went to the sidelines. Ball's on Team Points' 30-yard line. The clock was still running.

Once I went to the huddle, I told the others what the next play is: the same as before, with us running slant routes the same way as before.

This time, as we was huddling, Starlight quickly called her team over to their sidelines, and they all huddled there to talk about something.

As my team broke our huddle, Team Points ran back to the field, and lined up against their match-up.

"Green 30, Green 30, Hut Hut!"

As Applejack, Big Mac, and I ran our routes, our match-ups seemed to guess what we were about to do as they moved perfectly with us, so we couldn't get any space. After the three seconds were up, Trixie chased after Rainbow, forcing her to run and buy a bit of time, with me, Applejack, and Big Mac trying to get open, before she just had to throw it, in Applejack's direction. It wasn't a good idea: Maud as already right on front of Applejack, so she in the perfect spot to intercept the pass! She caught it at team Point's 15-yard-line. Starlight must've guessed we'll do the same play again, and that was why she called her team over!

I tried to cut Maud off to tag her, but Pinkie (gently) blocked me, and I couldn't get by her. Rainbow was able to catch and tag Maud, after a return or 30 yards.

We went to our sideline, and I told Rainbow, "Rainbow! You should've just threw the ball away!"

"But, that's like giving up, Eric, and I don't give up!"

Applejack roasted Rainbow with, "And yet you gave up the ball, Rainbow!"

Twilight, knowing that could happen if we kept this up, quickly stepped in with, "Ok, that's enough guys. Let's just focus on playing defense now, ok?"

Now Team Points has the ball. It's first and ten, Q1, 3:00 left. Ball's on their 45-yard-line (55 yards away from scoring) and the clock is stopped.

My team went back on the field and was ready, but on the other sideline, Trixie, Pinkie, Maud, Ember, Starlight and Sunburst was in a huddle, looking to be going over something, instead of Starlight just giving them a play, like Twilight does with me.

"What do you think they're doing?" Rainbow asked.

"Not sure, Rainbow." Applejack answered.

Rubbing my head, I told them, "Maybe Starlight's just going over the rules again a bit with them or something?'

After I said that, Team Points went to line up, and the rest my team went to where our match-up was. Pinkie lined up to (my) right sideline, and I shadowed her.

Maud stood near the opposite sideline, and Applejack lined in front of her.

Ember lined up in the middle to hike the ball, with Big Mac in front of her. Just like they were when my team had the ball. Pinkie and Maud was about eight yards away from Ember, just like Big Mac and Applejack was to me.

Rainbow lined up in her "blitzing" spot, in the area between Big Mac and me, but a bit closer to Big Mac by a yard. We each was about five yards away from our match-up, like they were when my team had the ball.

Trixie started doing something odd by yelling, "The Great and Powerful Trixie is the best! She's the best! She's the best! Didn't you hear me? She's the best!"

Yeah, that surprised us. I, Applejack, Rainbow, and Big Mac just stared at her, wondering what she's doing.

Then, Trixie suddenly yelled, "Hut!" and Ember hiked the ball between her legs: the same way I did.

Pinkie, Maud, and Ember all ran past a briefly stunned me, Applejack, and Big Mac. By the time we got our bearings, they were about two yards in front of us. They kept running toward, so we couldn't catch them.

Trixie, with her magic, threw the ball to Maud, who caught it, and ran all the way for a touchdown!

Team Appledash: 0, Team Points: 7.

Pinkie, Ember, and Trixie ran to Maud to praise her, as the sudden favorite for MVP moved her right foreleg up and down slowly and said, in her usual flat voice, "Yay." I guess that's her version of a touchdown celebration or dance.

And while Maud was busy doing...whatever she was doing, Applejack, Rainbow, Big Mac, and I walked back to our sideline, and was still confused on what the buck just happened!

"Why did you guys keep standing there for so long?" Spike asked.

Looking down a bit, still stunned by what happened, I answered, "Well Trixie was talking about how 'she's the best'. I thought she was just trying to brag again! I just lost focus."

Applejack, Rainbow, and Big Mac all nodded their head, showing that they thought the same thing I did.

Twilight thought about that, and told me, "Hmm. I don't think she was just 'bragging' this time, Buggie. I think she yelled that just to get you all to drop your guard."

Rainbow asked, "Really?"

Applejack bought up, "But, I don't see Trixie thinking of a trick like that. You sure about that, Twi?"

"Well, I can't think of another reason for her to do that, Applejack. I can see her bragging, but not yelling 'hut' the way she did right after doing it."

I looked at the other sideline, and it sunk in that, with Sunburst as her assistant coach, Starlight's the head coach for Team Points. Something as unpredictable as what Trixie just did to fool us, is something Starie might think of, since she tends to just do whatever pops in her head, than to think too much about it first. Sunburst could've even added to it, making it even more effective! It would've also be why they stayed with her and Sunburst for so long, before going to the line: that's what they were busy planning!

With 2:40 minutes left in the first quarter, with my team still reeling from giving up that touchdown the way we did, I thought we might be in for a long game, if we can't figure out Starlight's coaching style. If it can even be done!

I wasn't sure if even he could out-coach Starlight Glimmer!

Author's Note

I was gonna have it be 11-on-11 tackle football, but it was too tough for me to write the "play-by-play" parts of the story with that many players in it.

Making it touch football instead of tackle football was just because of the larger players like Big Mac and Ember.