I figure it was about an hour and a half later that I eventually woke up, yawning and stirring awake. My eyes shot open, and I panicked for a second as I saw the luminous eyes of Celestia staring back at me. With a yelp and some wriggling around she pressed her hoof into my back, a gentle aid to calm me down. Eventually, I remembered what was happening and eased off a little.

“That’s… going to take some getting used to,” I wheezed. “Not a bad sight to wake up to, though.”

She smiled and nodded. “I will not be terribly offended if you decide to keep your own chambers tonight,” she said as she slowly got to her hooves. “One of my former consorts made use of their own chambers on and off for the entirety of their career, simply a quirk of their personality.” She paused and looked over at me, and for the space of a second I saw what might have been nervousness. “That is… if you want the job.”

I blinked. It hadn’t occurred to me that I might be able to simply not take the job. For that matter, as soon as the actual reality of the position came to mind, the idea of just stopping and going back to continue being a street sweeper seemed absolutely ridiculous in comparison. “Of course I want the job!” I said, rolling to my hooves and practically leaping up. “I’d have to be crazy!”

A nearly invisible tension evaporated from the princess and she nodded. “Excellent. Normally there would be a trial period of about three months, but I think I have your measure. With that, and a bit of faith in Twilight and Cadance’s magic, I’ll have Raven begin preparations immediately.”

“Preparations?” I asked, running my hooves through my mane idly.

“The wedding,” Celestia said.

I stopped, frozen still in my place. Made sense when I thought about it. Putting the Prince in Prince Consort, after all… Still, though, I was going to be married to Princess Celestia.

“...huh.” I said. “I, uh, yeah.”

She looked at me with dull amusement. “That’s a rather quick turnaround from ecstatic excitement to cold hooves.”

I looked up at her quickly and rapidly shook my head. “No no! I mean, of course I want to, it's just, uh, not how I thought…”

She laughed again and put up a hoof in a ‘woah, easy’ gesture. “Don’t worry, I know its a bit strange. Not every stallion even gets married, not since monogamy was in fashion.I mostly consider it a formality as a necessary part of establishing you in the position. You don’t have to do much more than show up on the day and let me show you off to all the foreign leaders.”

“So I’m going to be a trophy husband? That’s a bit… on the snout.”

She gave me a faux-disapproving look at my pun. “Well, what were you expecting with a cutie mark like yours? Precious stallion that you are, now I must lock you away in my most secure vault so errant mares don’t come swooping out of the sky to grab you.”

That got a snort out of me, trying to imagine dozens of mares swarming all over me. “I guess now I’m an idle noble… I’m going to need to find something to do to occupy my time.”

“Speaking of which,” Celestia said, standing up with a reluctant sigh. “I suppose I’d best get back to the business of managing the country itself.”

“Boooo,” I said with good-natured humor. “We could just like, lie here for a few hours. Talk a bit, get to know each other. Maybe have sex again.” I thought absentmindedly. It had been a lot of work, but hot damn if it wasn’t worth it. Wait, did I say that last part out loud?

The suggestion gave Celestia a brief pause. After a moment, she shook her head. After another, she shook her head again and finally got up to her hooves. “Tempting,” she said with a sigh. “But I only reserved an hour for this and we have already used that up and then some. However, my duties officially end at 8 pm every day, after which I think dinner sounds lovely.”

In spite of how much had happened today, it was only about two in the afternoon. My mind boggled at how high the sun was still in the sky as I looked out over the shining city of Canterlot. For now, I felt content to lie in bed, basking in Celestia’s glory. With amazing efficiency, she selected accoutrements from her nightstand, quickly freshening up her mane and coat, then grabbed her regalia from a table next to the front door. Finally, she opened the door and started out, pausing for a single playful look back at me before she regretfully pulled the door closed behind her.

The door closed with a bang, and I was left sitting on the bed, the covers slightly crumpled around me. Since eight o’clock that morning I’d been harried and rushed, and now I wasn’t sure what to feel. There was a residual aftershock of worry, but I could push that down with a practiced hoof. I had probably done fine, she had told me not to worry, she seemed perfectly willing to go through with the wedding.

A wedding… My parents would be delighted, even if it meant that grandchildren probably weren’t on the table. Were they? I’d have to ask Celestia.Then I tried to imagine how that conversation would go, and my face flushed red all over again. It occured to me I probably didn’t need to do anything. I could just lay in bed for the rest of day. It was plenty comfortable, the sun shone over me, and I had, apparently, the rest of my life to sort out what exactly I wanted to do.

But then again, that was the kind of thinking that would leave me sorting things out on later and later dates until eventually I was just laying about the castle uselessly. There would be some ponies who were simply content to be a fucktoy for the Princess (and my brain immediately began to consider why the fate seemed like a bad idea), but I knew that if I had been chosen for a reason, I needed to figure out what it was. I had something special to offer Celestia, and I wasn’t just going to let that potential sit and rot.

With that in mind a new confidence bubbled up and I pulled myself up, a grin rolling over my face, and I flapped my wings, flying through the room and over to the bathroom. First things first, I’d need a shower. Just a quick one, then I could link up with Rock and…

The doors swung open and my entire train of thought was derailed as I was greeted with the sight of Rock Solid mounted atop Seaweed in perfect profile. His hips slammed up against her rear with an aggressive, rhythmic motion, and semi-muted grunts and groans were coming from both of them as he worked at her and she moved back against him. Her eyes were unfocused, staring out into space, and her tongue lolled out while his expression was instead screwed up in concentration, eyes closed and teeth gritted. Neither of them noticed me, and for a second I questioned if I should simply go back into the room and give them a moment to finish. It was a distant thought, though, as my eyes were stuck, glued to display in front of me. Impressive, and a little bit arousing. My eyes were locked on the center of the action and the impressive thrusts that Rock was using. His hooves glided over her rear, adjusting her hips and using her body as leverage to pull himself up. Meanwhile, he was constantly searching for a better angle, altering his entry every few seconds. His ears quivered as he listened to her noises, attuned to her as he tried to fuck her senseless.

Eventually, Seaweed’s eyes, still not entirely focused, drifted over to see me. Her entire head swiveled instantly to look at me and a look of embarrassed horror washed over her. She used a rear leg to tap Rock, and then tap him again when he didn’t respond. Eventually, he opened his eyes to look at her, although he didn’t yet stop thrusting until he followed his gaze to look over at me while I simply stood there, slack-jawed and staring, and then he immediately froze… balls-deep inside of her.

“Uh, hey First!” He grinned with his usual cheery tone, albeit a little bit frazzled. There was a long, awkward pause. “Did… Did you want to join us?” He looked down at Seaweed. “Would that be okay with you?”

She looked back at him and shrugged, but I shook my head as my faculties returned to me. “Um, uh, can we, uh, switch places?” I asked. “If that’s okay, I need to shower. .”

Another long, awkward pause commenced before Rock slowly slid back and off of Seaweed. The two of them looked at each other, all of us thoroughly embarrassed, and the two of them sheepishly made their way past me and into Celestia’s bedchambers. The ‘walk of shame’ wasn’t helped at all by Rock sporting a sopping wet erection that was true to his name as he went, gingerly shutting the doors behind him and flashing me an extraordinary grin as the two disappeared.

I took a deep, calming breath. Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, it was easy to see that my face was a deep red pretty much all over. With a grunt, I pushed it out of my mind, forcing myself over to the shower. Seaweed had clearly taken some time cleaning it out, leaving it spotless. It was big enough that I had to fly over the lip of the tub, and nearly came to a crashing stop as the slick bottom of the tub provided little enough purchase.

Luckily, once I was situated the shower itself was pretty nice. For one thing, it was appropriately massive, but with a convenient secondary set of knobs underneath the more alicorn-sized options up above. I guess it would be pretty bad if they couldn’t manage a bathroom that had enough space and hot water for the sovereign ruler of the nation.

The water was hot and I practically collapsed under both the cascade of hot water and the resulting release of stress. This day was a constant rollercoaster. Something would wind me up, then something would calm me down, rinse and repeat ad nauseam. Maybe I should just take the rest of the day off.

I still wasn’t sure what to do when I got out of the shower, scrambling over the side with all hooves and gently floundering onto the ground. There was an artful tower of towels off to the side and I fluttered off to grab one off the top. I began to floof up immediately as I dried off, an obnoxious pattern that had been in the works since I was a colt. Groping around on the currently-stocked large shelf, I found some kind of comb and yanked it down. Finally, I started to comb down my mane and wandered back over to the door to Celestia’s room. This time, I was sure to press my ear against the door and make sure there weren’t any groans, moans, or… slapping before I entered the room.

In the sitting room atop a red velvet couch, Rock and Seaweed were chatting amicably, lounging a bit closer to each other than was appropriate. Rock looked up at waved at me as I entered. If he had any lingering embarrassment over me catching him amid a round with Seaweed, he had a poker face of epic proportions.

I gave him a wave back, temporarily stashing the comb in my mane before I trotted over to the two of them and took a seat in a larger chair, angling over to look at them.

“Hey, First!” He said. “Sorry about, uh, that,” he gestured back over to the bathroom, and I could feel my face heat up again. Dammit, I was a fucking Consort now. I should have thicker skin about this sort of stuff. “It had been a while and well, Seaweed and I got a little distracted.

“It’s fine,” I said, trying for confidence but sounding a little bit more harried than anything else. “Uh, yeah. I don’t mind. You guys can have sex if you want to. Anytime.” And then I over-corrected, offering to let them screw whenever they wanted. Classic, First.

He snorted amiably and nodded. “Excellent, good to hear. I’ll try not to run off with any mares when you’re being savaged by bandits. But anyway, you’ve now handled the entirety of your itinerary for the day. What’re we gonna do next boss?”

I rolled my eyes. “Please don’t call me boss,” I said. I cringed as I realized that although I didn’t know much about rank, I was going to get a lot of it. Better get out ahead of this one. “To you? I don’t have a title.”

In his usual style, Rock let out a laugh that was way too vigorous for my dumb joke, devolving into chortle and snorts while Seaweed looked at him incredulously. Eventually, she stood up. “With your leave, si- uh, First.” She gave me a polite nod. “I’ll be in the castle spa. We have two new recruits I need to train today, so I’d best get to it.”

“Best of luck, Seaweed!” I said, giving her a wave. Then, as she left, I looked over at Rock with a note of surprise. “The castle has its own spa?”

He nodded. “Right next to the Zebrican restaurant in the business wing.”

I looked at him, awestruck. “There’s an entire wing for businesses? How many are there?”

He quirked his head to the side. “Less than two hundred, more than one? We need to have a place for anyone who needs nearly anything to get it in the castle. If we have a Griffish ambassador, then we need a place they can stop in to get a scrap of meat, or if a Zebra needs some goods for their potion-crafting.”

I rubbed at my forehead, realizing that this castle was my new home, one way bigger than I had exer expected. “I don’t know where anything is…” My ears quirked up and I looked up at Rock Solid with a grin. “I need something fun to do anyway… Why don’t you show me around the castle?”

Rock nodded delightedly. “Sounds awesome! I was kind of a castle rat myself, so this place has been my home since I was born.”

“Your entire life in the castle…” I said, chewing over that. “Like a miniature city, huh?.”

“Bigger than entire towns!” He said cheerfully. “Used to be bigger than Ponvyille before Princess Twilight took over. C’mon, let's get started!”

I fluttered down off the chair and followed Rock as we headed out of Celestia’s bedroom, through some kind of antechamber, and back into her apartments. Rock pointed a hoof at a smaller door down the hallway. “There’s where your room is, for as long as you keep it,” he said. “It’s a little bit utilitarian at the moment but we can get furniture in there to suit your whims. We were gonna base it on your room back in Neighagra Falls but, uh…”

“Most of my furniture looks like it was fished out of a dumpster?” I asked drily, and Rock nodded. “Yeah, cozy enough but I’ve never particularly cared about how anything looked. I guess I’ll probably need to at least have it look good. Just make sure it’s… Comfortable.”

He gave me a brief, casual salute. “Can do. I’ll pass the word along once we’re in the bureaucratic wing.” He lead us out of the apartments and back over towards the massive stream of traffic in the larger hallway. “This is the residential wing,” he explained. “They’re still called wings, but only a couple of them are like, actual wings. Old-school naming convention from when this place was less complicated. A lot changes in a thousand years.”

“Anyway,” he said, pushing us through the crowds with a practiced confidence combined with the muscle mass to make himself unignorable. The bright gold of the royal guard probably helped with matters too. Any guards seemed to be ducking and weaving with a great deal more ease. “Residential wing, closest to the carriage platform back there. Any long-term residents also stay here, plus the premium apartments for hoity-toity nobles,” he gave a humorous elbow and a conspiratorial grin. “And for VIP guests.”

I nodded. “So you live around here?”

“Oh, I got upgraded to a special room right next to yours today!” he said. “So I can intercede on your behalf should some evil assassin attempt to slay our fair Prince Consort.” He mussed up my mane, and I couldn’t stifle a bit of a giggle at that before I swatted his hoof away.

“Alright, alright,” I said, nearly stepping away before I realized that being too far outside of his radius o’ bulk would mean getting trampled by the oncoming stampede of traffic. “Huh. What if I’m attacked while I’m with Princess Celestia?”

He gave me a flat look, then one side of his mouth quirked up. “I imagine your attacker would be flung halfway to Trottingham or the sun before they got a chance to regret their poor decision-making.”

Oh. That was a stupid question. “Right… Has there ever been any assassination attempts in the castle?”

“Nope! Well, maybe a hooffull, but they don’t tend to get very far. We have great information ops around here, and more royal guards than you can shake a stick at. You’d have to be pretty dumb to attempt something of that ilk. And to pull it off? Don’t even get me started.”

I nodded, and we continued walking down the superhighway before we took a turn, waiting for the gap after a carriage to sneak on through. The flow of ponies lessened somewhat, though it was still more people than I usually saw in an entire day. “We’re entering the bureaucratic wing,” he explained. “Less interesting, but still pretty important.”

He pulled us into a door and into a spacious office with a large window overseeing the Canterlot skyline. Bright tans and beiges made it a somewhat bland but comfortable sight. Behind the desk sat a meek unicorn mare, white coat and black mane. Black, thick-rimmed glasses were contrasted by a white collar hanging around her neck and a red kerchief hanging off of it. She looked up at us and gave a dutiful smile. “Can I help you?”

“This is Raven,” Rock said, gesturing towards her. “She’s Princess Celestia’s secretary-”

“Scribe,” Raven said, voice light and almost dainty, but with a surprising firmness behind it. “I am a scribe, not a secretary.”

Rock looked a little bit nervous. “Right, uh, forgive me ma’am. Scribe. Raven is Princess Celestia’s scribe. If you have any bureaucratic concerns, you can discuss them with her and she’ll get them sorted out right quick.”

Raven nodded politely, giving me a smile. “You’re the new Prince Consort?”

I nodded. “I’m not sure how the technicalities work out… There’s going to be a marriage.”

“The Prince Consort-in-Waiting is afforded the same rights, powers, and privileges of the Prince Consort,” Raven said assuredly, reaching into the desk of her immaculate desk and pulling out a piece of paper and hoofing it over. I took and was delighted to see a layman’s explanation of the whole process. “Once you were selected and, uh, acquired for the purpose, you became, for all legal intents and purposes, the Prince Consort. And sir, if I may be so bold, I am queen bitch of the dogpile around here.”

I blinked at her. “Um. Excuse me?”

“The bureaucratic wing is a hellscape of unimaginable proportions. Organizational violence is the name of the game. Every two-bit whore with a pen thinks they can muscle their way through here,” Raven continued, her tone not shifting at all from the polite and dutiful tone. “But you need to know what you’re doing. I’m in your corner, as long as your interests align with Princess Celestia. You need something, you go through me. But don’t expect me to haul your ass out of the fire if you try to make it on your own.”

I simply stared at her for a long moment. “Um. Yes ma’am.”

“There’s no need for that, you technically outrank me,” Raven said. “I’m just a lowly scribe, after all. Now, what did you need?”

I struggled to remember for a moment. “Furniture. I need furnishings for my new room.”

“Style? When would you like them? Any other specifications?”

“Uh… I’ll probably be staying in the room tonight, so tonight? Is that possible?”

Raven rolled her eyes at me. “Please.”

“Alright, okay, cool, thanks,” I said, chattering a bit nervously, giving her an uneasy grin. “Um. Nothing too fancy. Just like, comfortable? Relaxed?”

Raven had a piece of paper down quickly and scribbled out a few lines, then wheeled her chair over to some sort of tube on the wall. She put the paper in a canister, pressed a few buttons. With a low gasp, the tube sputtered to life and sucked the canister away. “You’ve got it!” She said cheerfully. “Anything you need, just let me know.”

I nodded distantly, and I was very happy as Rock gently guided me out of the office and back into the hallway. “I think she likes you,” he said at least.

I gave him a look. “How can you tell?” The skepticism in my voice was obvious. The mare was inscrutable.

“I dunno,” he said with a shrug. “She gets super weird a lot of the time, but this time it was a… happy weird!”

I maintained my skeptical look as we worked our way down the halls. On either side were doors with names like “Department of Agriculture Division” and other titles. Most of them were rather banal. “I’ll take your word for it,” I finally said. “Is there anything else interesting in this part of the castle?”

“The bursar,” he said with a wry grin. “But you don’t have to worry about money, the Princess has seen to that.”

“Huh… Really?”

“Yup! You’ve been extended a line of credit from the crown itself, giving you restricted access to the treasury itself! I’m sure that if you were to try and abuse it that would be revoked pretty quick, but as it stands, you’ve got enough for pretty much anything you’d ever want.”

I considered this. “My life is a little bit stupid, isn’t it?”

“Little bit, yeah.”

We plodded our way through the remainder of the bureaucratic wing. By the time we were done, the stream of ponies had devolved in pockets of ponies standing in small groups and chatting. Occasionally one or two of them had a pile of paperwork or an official-looking briefcase. Then as we left the formal, organized hallway and entered a larger pavilion with marble floors, they had food or shop bags.

“Shopping wing?” I guessed idly, looking up at the ascending tiers. Three floors in total, each with shops ringing around them, as well as the occasional cart or standing vendor.

“Now you’re getting it! Sort of a mall, I suppose. Not nearly the biggest shopping center in Canterlot mind, but it gets the job done.” Rock pointed up at the highest ring. “If you’re looking for anything Pegasus specific, they put it up there. He paused and quirked his head to the side. “What’s it like, sleeping on a cloud?”

I wrinkled my snout. “Sleeping on a cloud? I sleep on a bed.” We looked at each other for a long, slightly awkward second. “Aaaaanyway,” I continued. “I’m kind of hungry… I guess I haven’t eaten yet today. Maybe we should get something to eat?”

He shook his head. “Nah, I’ll change our route up. We’ll stop by the royal cafeteria and the royal kitchens, get you some proper grub.”

I nodded as we took a right turn and started off into a hallway that ascended somewhat. I figured it was towards the center of the castle. Heh. I supposed that made the kitchens the very literal heart of the castle.

“Say, why have a food court at all if there’s a royal cafeteria and kitchens?”

“Eh, that’s a bit complicated. Either you believe that certain retailers can specialize in their craft and do a better job than the more generalized workforce of the castle could manage, and so the Princesses worked together in order to provide them a place in the castle they could be recognized. Or you believe that a few years back Bearer Rarity wanted a boutique in the castle and bullied Twilight into making it happen. Which would of course be scandalous and treasonous.”

“...and what do you believe?”

Rock shrugged. “A little of Column A of, little of Column B.” With that, we were in what was undoubtedly a cafeteria, my dreary high school days floating back to me in a blur. Linoleum white tile, too-bright lights, and shining chrome stations that doled out food to ponies who stepped along in bored-looking lines. Unlike your average high school cafeteria, however, the food didn’t look like a biohazard.

In just a few moments, we were sitting at our table and had a hearty chef’s salad with various fixins. Rock’s tray was piled many times higher than mine, but I had little difficulty believing he’d be able to devour the whole head of lettuce that had been placed in front of him.

“Say, Rock,” I said, deciding to broach the question I’d been wondering the whole day. “Why don’t you look like the other Royal Guards?”

“Hm?” Rock solid, then finishing the bite of salad he was munching on. “There are plenty of guardsponies who look like me. Or a little bit. Most of them aren’t as big.”

“No, I mean, uh…” I pointed at him and waved my hoof up and down. “White coat, pegasus, blue mane…”

He paused and snorted, which evolved into a chuckle he only managed to restrain with some difficulty. “You mean the dress guard? You know most of them don’t actually look like that, right?”

I paused, a little dumbfounded. “They… don’t?”

He laughed more obviously at this. “Sun and stars, no! Most of them are mares!” I must have looked particularly awestruck because he laughed even harder at that, booming out loud enough we got a few looks while he smacked his hoof on the table. “What, did you think we just had a few thousand white pegasus stallions laying around who no one objected to us putting in the line of duty?”

I flushed a little bit. I hadn’t actually considered it. Mares outnumbering stallions three to one, I suppose it made a sort of sense…

“Then why do they look like that?”

“Traditional and illusions,” Rock said in between bites of his salad. “See, it's easy to forget but Equestria has been around for more than a thousand years. We have a lot of weird little quirks. Apparently like the ability to shanghai random mares and stallions into sexual servitude in a way that elevates them to the highest rank of nobility possible. Way back in the day stallions were treated as like, super valuable. So the ability to have a bunch of stallions, pretty ones, hanging around you was like, the hottest shit.”

I nodded. “So, if you had a court mage, you would just enchant the armor to make everypony who wore it look like they were a stallion. A very handsome stallion.”

“Yup. That’s why they don’t react much, either. Enchantment is easy enough, but mapping complex emotional patterns is much harder. These days it's sort a uniform. Only the bigwigs get out of it.”

“So… you’re important?”

“Wouldn’t have assigned me to one of the most high-priority positions in the castle if I wasn’t.” He flashed me a cocky smile. “C’mon, two more stops and we’re good.”

I nodded and we finished up our salads with relish. Once we were done, Rock lead us out through one of the three large doors, this time to the north. Things quickly became different than any other wing of the castle. There were always the occasional guards to direct traffic, answer queries, or prevent kerfuffles, but quickly that become groups of two or three paying a good deal more attention. A few of them clutched halberds and stood in front of a doorway. More than one gave me an almost accusatory glance, to which the only proper response was to roll my eyes.

“The military wing?”

“Defense wing, officially,” Rock said. “Don’t worry about them. They just have a bit of trouble around people who aren’t part of the family.”

“That seems a bit counterproductive.” I say, looking over at the guards, one of whom glared back at me. Not really harshly enough to mean anything by it. Most likely they were just bored.

“So you want me to announce you as the Prince Consort?”

“Sun and stars, no,” I said, horrified. “Over the top ass-kissing would be way worse than this.” I paused for a moment. “Maybe if one of them starts to act rude.”

Rock stopped in front of one door that seemed particularly well guarded and gave it a knock, nodding at the guards standing in front of it. A placard on the wall declared it to be the office of one Shining Armor.

“Prince General Shining Armor?” I asked incredulously. “We’re just gonna… drop in?”

“Well… uh…” Rock said, shrugging. “You’re a Prince now, he’s a Prince. I figure you two should get to know each other, right?”

I stared at Rock. “Right now? Did you think about this at all?”

“Well, it did seem like a good idea at the time--”

He was saved from needing to answer by the door opening to reveal the powerful form of Shining Armor, once Captain of the Royal Guard and now the General of the Combined Armed Forces of Equestria. He was taller than average but not huge, with a definite tone and bulk to his muscle. With a bit of curiosity, I noted that he was actually built for endurance, not strength, a classic channeler physique if I’d ever seen one. He was also starting to get the first wisps of grey in his mane, a few wrinkles around the eyes. At my best guess, he was mid-forties, somewhere in that range. As he opened the door, he looked at Rock with a familiar smile, then his eyes darted over to me. Confusion, then recognition.

“First Prize!” He said, offering a hoof with bemusement. His voice had a mellow, friendly tone to it. Not quite Rock’s booming baritone, but definitely in the deeper register. “You can call me Shining.”

I nodded dumbly and took the hoof, giving it a solid shake .”Uh, yeah. You can call me First, I suppose. Is that, the, um, protocol here?”

He snorted and waggled his hoof in a ‘meh’ gesture. “Prince to Prince, Consort to General. Twily could probably dig some ancient tome on the proper form of address, but I don’t give half a shit about that. Might be worth reading up on if it comes up in some kind of formal setting, but unless you’re one of my guard, you can just call me Shining.”

He opened the door wide and waved his foreleg. “Come on in. I’ve got a few minutes before my next appointment.”

Shining’s office had a definite ‘lived in’ feeling, appropriate for someone who had been the head of the guard for over a decade of dedicated service. Carefully maintained, mind you, but the couches that he lead us to were definitely worn to just the right level of comfort, the walls were a more comfortable rose color than the drab olive I had come to think of with most of the offices in the castle, and there were quite a few pictures on the wall. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and their daughter, Princess Flurry Heart. Family paintings and a few of Princess Cadance or Flurry Heart Solo. The latter seemed to be in her late teens now by my best judgement, with a fierce look in her eye and more than one painting of her using a sword or with one at her side.

Shining procured a few bottles of cider and passed them over to us. “Sweet Apple Acres,” he said with smug satisfaction. “Not a better bottle anywhere. I buy up as much of their stuff as I can and save it for special occasions.”

I popped the top off, giving him a grateful smile before I pulled back a small sip of the cider, and my mouth is awash with the pure undiluted essence of APPLE. There’s the slightly sour taste worked in, but so expertly crafted a brew as it is, it only manages to enhance the flavor, and before I realize it I’ve taken two long draws off the bottle before I come up for air.

“Sun and stars, you weren’t kidding…” I say with a delighted grin. I was about to tip it back for another draw before a magenta magical aura gripped the bottle gently, keeping me from taking another drain.

“You might want to take it easy on that,” Shining Armor warned. “They have a, uh, pretty high alcohol content.”

I was about to deny it, but as I did, I felt a flush of warmth roll over me and a pleasantly light feeling to accompany. “I’m not… Okay, wow,” I said, hoof coming up to steady my head as I had a bit of trouble keeping my balance, wings flaring out to give myself a little bit extra support.

Rock gave a chuckle at my reaction, hoof coming out to pat my back in a soothing fashion. “Hold on there, boss. If it hit you that hard, it should be out of your system just as quickly.”

Shining looked over at my bodyguard. “So, Operative Rock Solid, this is what you got assigned to? Can’t think of a better stallion for the job.”

“Yup!” Rock said cheerfully. “The castle is my home, only makes sense I’d keep this little guy safe whenever he needs it.”

We had a bit of friendly conversation, spending about an hour discussing what had happened over a couple of bottles of cider, then Rock and Shining had a brief conversation about something… military jargon-y. My capacity to understand them quickly evaporated in favor a nice hazy warmth to the world.

So it was in that state that I was led to the door as we exited, only for Shining to tap me on the haunches. Blearily I looked back at him, and gave him a smile to match

“I just need to let you know two little things,” he said, eye glancing over to make sure Rock wasn’t listening in. “First, my wife is probably gonna come onto you at some point. You have fun though, the two of us keep things pretty fast and loose for the most part.”

My mouth worked silently as I tried to comprehend that, but Shining just kept on going.

“The second is my daughter. She’s about your age.” Then, without warning, he grabbed me around the back of my neck and pulled me in, his jovial manner evaporating into a scalding intensity. “If you touch her, I will end you.” I let loose a strangled ‘meep’ and nodded weakly before he finally released me. “Feel free to stop in any time!” He said cheerfully and earnestly, his demeanor returning to his usual easy chill with a distressing speed. “I can always use more stallions to hang out with around here.”

I nodded blearily, but I was unusually silent as I fell into stop with Rock. Rock himself was a lot more well-composed. In all fairness, he was like, twice my sheer size and ten times as athletic, and I found myself staring at his broad, rugged physique as we walked along. Eventually, he looked back at me and smiled. “Prince Shining splits about half his time between here and the Crystal Empire. Still, he’s like a father to the guard. I have no doubt that he’d lay down his life for any of us, so we’re willing to do the same.”

I nodded, mouth still clenched shut as I processed what just happened. However, we then turned the corner and I was immediately delighted. Princess Celestia! Standing not a thousand feet away. There were a couple of stuffy-looking ponies chatting seriously with her while she had her usual perfect, ethereal, knowing, perfect expression.

My mouth started to work before I could even think about it. “PRINCESS CELESTIA!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. Y’know, to make sure that she heard me. “HI PRINCESS CELESTIA!”

She froze and looked out over the hallway. Her eyes focused on me. It was rather easy, I was floating over the crowd. To make sure I was easy to see. Rock seemed very distant, looking at me with concern, eyes darting between me and Celestia like he couldn’t decide whether or not tackling me or letting me make an ass out of myself were the better option.

Celestia looked at me, then looked confused. Her mouth moved inaudibly. Then she looked again, like she recognized me from a picture in a book. That was concerning. Why couldn’t she remember me? “IT’S ME,” I tried. “YOUR NEW PRINCE CONSORT?”

Understanding and a bit of nervousness broke into her expression. She gave me a nervous wave and a hoof went to the book of the irritated advisor and quickly began to usher them along quickly. Naturally, I moved to follow, but found myself stopped in my tracks by a tugging on my tail, which a look backwards revealed to be the iron tight grip that Rock had on me.
“Woah there,” he said through his clenched teeth. Yet somehow he still managed to maintain his easy smile. I guessed, sullenly, that he was probably right. After about a minute of struggling to get away while he stood firm as the stone below.

Finally, I settled down and he put a hoof carefully on my back, steadying and guiding me. “How’s about we get you a nice calm place for you to cool off just a little bit?” I nodded, looking back down the hallway where Celestia had escaped down, but unable to see her.

Rock tried to suppress a chuckle at my sullen expression with limited success. “You’re a pretty fast little bugger,” he said. “I might even guess that cutie mark is for racing.”

I snorted. “ guess I can get pretty fast, but like, you can’t just be good, ya gotta be the best. If you don’t have a cutie mark for it, there’s no point in even trying.”

Rock looked at me with an unreadable expression, but gave me a moment to collect my thoughts. He guided us into an outer ring of the castle, a verdant green garden speckled and spotted with flowers of dozens of colors. There was a strange mixture of both growth and restraint, a beauty that belied control, only reluctantly allowing itself to be constrained.

“This doesn’t look like most of the gardens,” I said dully. Earth pony gardening had more of a sense of style and design. It was tamed, domesticated.

“It isn’t,” Rock said with a smile. “This is my personal favorite garden. It doesn’t get trafficked as much. It’s run by a zebra hired from a million miles away.”

“The truth is boring, to be honest,” said a voice from farther off in the garden. “I like your telling of the story best.” Out from behind a plant emerged a zebra mare. She was about typical for her height, just below your usual pony and almost my height exactly. She had the usual array of stripes and a mane of dreads carefully tied back in a green bandana. The mark on her flank suggested plants somehow, but in a more abstract fashion I had some trouble putting a hoof on. While I was looking at her mark, I couldn’t help but notice she had a terribly nice ass.

“I’m pleased to meet the new Consort,” she said, offering a hoof. I took it with a smile and gave it a shake. She smelled like earth and sweat, a pleasant and calming scent. “You seem to be a decent sort. My name is Zayatha, the gardener here. I’m afraid that most tend to steer clear.”

Her voice had a lilting edge to go along with the rhyming, and I found myself needed to pay close attention lest I lose track of what she was saying. “Really? These gardens aren’t like anything I’ve ever seen before.”

“That’s the problem, when it comes down to it. Ponies fear what they don’t intuit. My gardens are lovely but also strange. Folk around here tend to avoid change.”

I nodded at her, looking serious and thoughtful. “You’re pretty,” I said after a long deliberation.

She laughed at that, a low, throaty chuckle. Rock’s usual, bolder laugh rolled out, and he patted me on the back. “Don’t mind him overmuch,” he told Zayatha. “He can’t hold his cider, and we had a bit too much.” A gave her a goofy grin as if to agree.

She gave an easy calm smile beneath her serene eyes and she gestured us forward. “Could I offer you both a cup of tea? It will help your evening be hangover free.”

“Sure,” I said, getting up to my hooves and swaying a bit. “I’ve never had booze before, or a hangover.” It really was a day for firsts, I thought behind my haze.

The three of us wandered through the dense foliage. She had used her patch of the royal gardens to pack every unique Zebrican plant into the same place that she could, and I found myself in awe of the dozens of plants and flowers that clung to every wall.

“In additional to being pretty,” Zayatha explained as we walked. “I use these components in alchemy.” I nodded, though I must admit I was very distracted by the bob and roll of her hips, leaving her glorious rump bouncing back in forth in a hypnotic infinity symbol. In no time at all we came to a hut built into a denser wall of plants. The door opened into a small hut with a cozy feeling. It was on the small side, but still managed to hold a bunk, a kitchenette, a table, and a door I would assume lead into a bathroom. Each wall had a gorgeous tapestry, featuring zebras in pastoral scenes. Alchemy seemed to be a theme among them: in one zebra held up a potion to repel some snarling beast, in another a zebra collected several plant scraps, and in one a zebra couple took a potion from a wizened sage.

She gestured us towards the table, and Rock and I took a seat while she moved over to the kitchenette. She began to produce various implements and started brewing a pot of tea. While she did so, I stared at her ass. It was a good one. Rock looked a bit perplexed, until he saw what I was looking at. Then he nodded approvingly, and started staring with me.

Zayatha didn’t make much conversation, asking a few questions and more than willing to bask in the answers. The tea was good, but with a strange, biting undertaste that seeped into my head. But by the time it cleared, the drunkenness had dulled to a more manageable form, and she assured me that ‘the pain of the head would not descend, you need not fear when haziness ends.’

I did manage to gather that she was an alchemist hired to be a gardener and physician for the castle, though, and that she had been there for a while. Rock filled me in on the way back that she didn’t have many friends since ponies were skittish around ‘outsiders’ and she did little to dispel the image of ‘the witch living in the woods’. So he stopped by for a social visit every now and then. Heartily I agreed it was a good idea to check in every so often. And not just because she had the second-nicest butt I’d ever seen.

Still, the sun was hanging low by the time that conversation, and so the two of us started back to Celestia’s apartments, where I had promised to spend the evening with her..

“The castle is all abuzz,” Celestia said as the two of us sat in her drawing rooms. “Of the new Prince Consort’s outburst in the military wing.”

We were eating a dinner that had been delivered, fried potatoes with a delicious glaze and a side of pristine flowers that Celestia told me were from her own personal garden. I flushed furiously as I remembered that time. I had been hoping to forget about that, or that maybe she wouldn’t mention it.

“I, uh, was a little bit drunk…” I said, rubbing the back of my head.

“A little?” Celestia said, quirking an eyebrow up, her smile turning predatory. “I hear that you, ah, flew up over the crowd and were barely restrained by your bodyguard.”

I froze like a breezie without wind, face fully flush. “I mean, I um… I…”

She giggled and lifted me in her magic. I was quickly floated over to her and enfolded in a great hug. Her fur was warm and soft and I relaxed into her fur. “Oh, you’re so cute,” she said. “ Let’s just avoid a repeat performance. I do have a bit of an image to take care of, but I suppose there’s nothing wrong with an overly enthusiastic Prince Consort. The opposite might present an even worse image.”

I was reduced to a spluttering mess at this point, and my blush stretched down into my chest. Celestia snorted and looked down at me. “I was honestly delighted,” she said, patting me on the head. “I apologize. I may have gone a bit too far with the teasing.”

“‘T’salright…” I mumbled as I wriggled and slid out of her grasp. She looked at me with a scrutinizing gaze, this time a touch of concern on her face. There was an awkward silence for a moment.

“Your furniture was delivered,” she said. “I presume you’ll be keeping your own quarters for a while?”

I nodded. “For a bit at least… I just need to make sure my head is clear. It’s also been a long time since I shared a room with anyone.”

“A wise decision, in all likelihood,” Celestia said. “Maybe we should have intermittent nights spent together, to see if it is to your liking?”

I nodded, feeling a bit more reserved than before. “That sounds good.” I took another bite of the food, sampling one of the flowers. “I think… I’m gonna go to bed,” I said, giving her a weary smile. “It’s been a long day and I could use a little bit of time alone.”

She nodded and stood up to see me to the door. I paused to look up at her. “Could I maybe give you a kiss?”

She gave me an easy smile. “Of course, my Prince,” and she leaned down. Lips pressed against lips, soft and calm and a felt a light in my heart as I eventually pulled away. “Breakfast tomorrow?”

“Of course!” she smiled, and with one last wave, I trotted out of her room and headed off to bed.

Author's Note

This was initially going to have a sex scene but my editors suggested the story could use a cooling off period, so blame them.

Next scene will be shorter, and a little bit weird.