Luna's Shadow

by saarni

Rating: everyone
Tags: Vice-Principal Luna, Equestria Girls, Queen Chrysalis, Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 3368

Sometimes, we feel as though we're living out our lives in the shadow of someone else; Luna has felt that way for a long time, and it takes a surprising reunion for her to start putting her life back together.

It can often feel in our lives that we're always overshadowed by someone better; Luna, younger sister to Celestia, has been feeling that way for so long that the nervous breakdown she suffered almost came as a relief to her. Now slowly trying to put herself back together, she is in for a very surprising reunion with someone she never expected to see again.

Published 2019-01-28 22:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-01-28 22:40:01 UTC

I. Changing Ways

Stifling a scream of frustration, Luna pulled the pillow up around her ears to drown out the incessant knocking at the door; she didn’t want to have to get up off her comfy sofa to go and see who it was, but whoever they were they clearly didn’t understand that she wanted to be left alone right now. There was a brief interlude in which there was no sound from outside and she felt a palpable sense of victory surge through her as they at last seemed to get the message.

More knocking. And possibly that last heavy thunk had been a kick for good measure.

Hefting a pent-up sigh, Luna, clad only in a long pink t-shirt, wrapped her blanket tighter around her shoulders and padded barefoot across the cold floorboards of the living room – one of her slippers was nestled underneath the glass coffee table sitting next to the couch, and based on a cursory search the other was nowhere to be found – to the front door of her apartment.

Mentally, she’d been compiling a list of who might’ve been there, but Luna gawped in mute incomprehension when she opened the door and locked eyes with a woman a little shorter than herself with dark sable skin and long tresses of malachite hair. She was dressed in a flowing black dress of some shiny, velvety material. Luna blinked a couple of times, certain that the nervous breakdown she’d suffered was causing her to hallucinate her and Celestia’s younger sister. “Chrysalis? Is that really you?”

“It’s me.” Cutting into Luna’s silent reverie, trying not to gawk at how shaky her sister seemed to be and how drawn she looked, Chrysalis’ tawny green eyes registered some slight amusement as she added, “Are you gonna let me in or what?”

“Huh? Oh, right.” Luna’s dark blue cheeks reddened slightly as she realised that she’d been spacing out. She couldn’t help casting a scrutinising gaze over Chrysalis as she opened the door wider to allow her access to the apartment. Her scruffy hair and dress suggested that she’d been sleeping rough in an alleyway for a month. Knowing her habits, that might very well have been the case.

Offering Luna a gift bag picked out in eye-searing glittery red sequins, Chrysalis said, “Do you wanna hug or shake hands or …?” With mock-seriousness, she looked her sister dead in the eye and added, “A word of warning, though: you try to do that kissy-kissy on the cheeks thing, I will kick your scrawny little rear-end out that window.”

“One time!” replied Luna, exasperated. “I did it one time.” She took the proffered bag, offering Chrysalis a small smile as she did so, and looped the handles around her wrist – unaware that she was drawing her sister’s attention to them, though she said nothing about the fading marks there – in order to leave her hands free. Exhaling sharply from her nose, she said, “Let’s try a hug, shall we we? Just for old time’s sake, at least.”

Though her frame was slender and slight, Luna was impressed by just how much strength Chrysalis was able to bring to bear on their embrace. Just for one second, things actually seemed all right. Like when they were kids. She engulfed her sister with her own arms and said, “There, see, this isn’t so bad now, is it?”

“Mm,” was Chrysalis’ non-committal grunt of a reply. Breaking free from Luna’s grasp after a long moment, she took in the apartment and its décor; she found it all very typical of her sister’s taste, and said as much to her. The dominant colours were quite vivid shades of midnight blue and they were applied to many of the fixtures and fittings of the place, while a creamy white leather couch – most likely faux-leather – in the shape of a crescent was the dominant feature of the living room. Spying the sweat-stained pillows and blankets, Chrysalis guessed that this was where Luna was doing much of her sleeping these days, too.

She noted that the television had been pulled closer to the coffee table next to the couch; it was on, though the sound was muted. From the quick cuts, ropey acting and over-the-top expressions of the cast she guessed it was one of those quirky romantic-comedies from foreign shores that were so popular with the kids these days. Boy meets Girl. Girls turns out to be Mythical, Multi-tailed Creature. Boy has to complete tasks in order to woo Mythical Creature Girl.

Crossing over to the window, Chrysalis pulled the navy curtains open a jot to have a look outside. The day was pleasant and bright, but out of the corner of her eye she saw Luna recoiling from the invading sunlight as if it were personally attacking her. “Nice view,” Chrysalis said as though she hadn’t noticed. “Mane Street doesn’t seem as bad from up here.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty quiet for the most part,” Luna said diffidently. “Can be a bit raucous on the weekends, though.”

Turning away from the window, Chrysalis’ eyes roved over the coffee table; it was covered in empty water bottles, plastic plates and cutlery stained with take-out food of a thousand different varieties, and some smaller white bottles with severe-looking labels affixed to them.

Luna wasn’t slow in noticing where Chrysalis’ attention was fixed. “My anti-anxiety medication,” she said, shifting restlessly from one foot to the other. It had been bad enough telling Celestia about it, but it seemed so much worse with Chrysalis. She hated being seen as weak and vulnerable, and a feeling of shame surged through her. “And before you ask: yes, I am taking them as prescribed.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Chrysalis held up her hands in surrender. “Mind if I sit?” She gestured toward a beanie chair near the window.

“Go ahead,” Luna replied with a wave of her hand. Chrysalis watched her eyebrows knit together in consternation as she leafed through the bag of goodies that she’d brought her. There were a few puzzle books, some films with rather high certificates, a couple of magazines that – judging by the covers – had been lifted from the top shelf, a veritable bushel of chocolate bars, and a couple of bottles of wine. “You know, it’s pretty much customary at this point to bring sick people grapes, right?”

With a wan expression clouding her face, Chrysalis indicated each of the two wine bottles in turn with a small incline of her head. “And so I did. Sure, they’re a little bit more ripe than is typical for medicinal purposes, but still.”

“Yeah, eighteen months more ripe,” Luna replied sardonically.

With a tone of mock-hurt, Chrysalis said, “And I was always taught that the thought counted more than the actual gift.” She pouted at her sister and tapped a lean digit on the label of one of the bottles. “They’re your favourite kind of grapes, too.”

Despite herself, Luna actually chuckled at that. “It’s very sweet that you remembered.” She disappeared into the kitchen and unpacked the items from the bag on to the worktop. She shook her head wryly, allowing her flowing mane of purple hair to temporarily shade her bright blue eyes. In the space of a rather odd couple of minutes, she’d gone from being stunned by her sister’s very presence here to finding her that same exasperating personality that she’d always been. Popping her head around the door, she said, “It’s good to see you again, Chrys, it really is. I just wish it was under better circumstances, though.”

“Tell me about it,” Chrysalis said dryly. “Uh, about what happened to you …?”

“If you don’t mind, I’d rather not have to talk about it again right now.” She’d done enough talking about it to last her a thousand years. To Celestia. To doctors. To therapists. To well-meaning but misinformed members of the faculty who’d been suggesting essential oils and herbal tea.

“Fair enough.”

Luna wasn’t slow in picking up the distinctly relieved-sounding tone Chrysalis was giving off and she quashed a giggle. Yucky emotional stuff wasn’t ever going to be her forte, but still she was here and that counted for something. Studying her haul once again, she said, “Your gifts are very, um, thoughtful. Thank you.”

“Your welcome. I thought you’d be bored with people bringing you books-” Chrysalis clocked a rather large pile gathering dust in a corner behind the sofa “-and energy drinks.” Her eyes flitted about uncertainly as if she were expecting something. Or someone. “Is she going to be putting in an appearance any time soon?”

“I can only assume by that you mean Celestia?” said Luna levelly.

“Mm-hm.”

“She said she’d come ‘round some time after finishing up at school for the day,” Luna said, figuring that now was as good a time as any to pop the cork on one of those bottles of wine Chrysalis had brought her. In her mind’s eye she saw her sister’s ears pricking up in delight at the sound. “Why d’you ask?”

Hesitantly, Chrysalis said, “To be honest, I still haven’t spoken to her since I arrived back in Canterlot.”

“I see.” Luna was surprised that, having expected their older sister to be waiting at the train station for her. Presently, she returned with two glasses full of wine in tow. She offered one to Chrysalis, then sat down on the couch and pulled the blanket over her long bare legs. “After all this time, you’re worried about facing her directly, hm?”

“Well, if I’m taking your job,” Chrysalis said, sniffing experimentally at the drink and wrinkling her nose, “I’m gonna have to get over that real soon, aren’t I?” She took a small sip of wine and said, “You know, it isn’t actually that bad.”

Grinning, Luna said, “I’m surprised you can taste anything at all knowing what your, ah, typical diet consists of.”

“Of course, I was forgetting about your famously sophisticated palate,” replied Chrysalis, one eye quirked in the direction of the plates which festooned the coffee table. “Must be difficult slaving away all night over a warm ‘phone.”

“Touché,” said Luna, conceding the point with a grimace. She’d done her best to keep the apartment in some kind of order, knowing that Celestia would be coming around to check up on her, but everything else just felt like such an unnecessary waste of what little energy she had left. Showering, cooking, going outside and getting fresh air … it was amazing what you could learn to live without when push came to shove. Nursing her drink, she said, “She’ll be happy to see you again, I’m sure. You know what Celestia’s like: she doesn’t hold a grudge against anyone or anything.”

“That little minion of hers she sent to fetch me from Palamino Creek was of the same opinion,” said Chrysalis, twirling her glass in her fingers. “You’re both probably right.”

“Min… oh, you mean Twilight?”

“Yeah, Twilight.” She raised an eyebrow. “Is it just my imagination or does she have a whole hot-for-teacher thing going on?”

“Chryssy,” said Luna, her own glass already raised halfway to her lips, rolling her eyes in mild irritation. “She has a great deal of respect for Celestia, and yeah, probably a little bit of hero worship, too. Some, uh, stuff happened at the Friendship Games and she took Twilight in to CHS after she left Crystal Prep.” Stuff was putting it mildly, of course, but Luna did not feel like getting into the bizarre events that seemed to plague Canterlot High these days. It was a minor miracle that the entire staff and student body hadn’t had their own breakdowns.

“Anyway, never mind all that,” said Chrysalis, her tone becoming more serious as she leaned forward to properly look at her sister. “How are you, Lulu?”

“Well, I still hate being called Lulu.”

“And that’s why I do it.”

“Apart from that, though-” Luna shrugged her shoulders “-I’m good.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” she said slowly, dragging the single syllable out for an age. “Really.”

A companionable silence washed over them as they drank their wine. Chrysalis’ lip involuntarily curled at the acidic scent forcing its way up her nostrils each time she took a sip, but she had to admit that the beverage did at least have a bit more flavour than the gut rot that was usually served back at Salt Block Saloon. Still, though, she could only lament its lack of similar kick. “What happened to you, Luna? If you don’t mind telling me, that is, I’d really like to know.”

Tapping the base of her glass, wincing slightly at the loud clank, on the coffee table pensively, Luna let out a soft sigh. Speaking in a low voice, she finally said, “It wasn’t just one thing that triggered it. When you go through life in the shadow of someone else, you kinda get used to it after a fashion, but then … the feelings of inadequacy, of being underappreciated, keep festering inside of you, you know?” Draining what was left of her wine, she added, “Even when you do finally achieve something, you don’t feel recognised for it. I know that sounds a bit self-regarding, but just once, I’d love to have my name appear somewhere without Celestia’s in close proximity.” She shot her sister a look. “Does that make me a bad person?”

“Maybe?” said Chrysalis, smirking slightly. More seriously, off Luna’s annoyed look, she continued, “No, I don’t think so. Our sister is a wonderful-”

“-Oh, that must’ve hurt-”

“-Shut up. Our sister is a wonderful person and educator, but when something or someone shines that brightly, yeah, they do tend to attract all the attention. Which is great if all you want to do is quietly lurk in the shadows and get on with things, but if you want to be noticed in your own right … if you want your own talents and achievements to be recognised, you need to get the Tartarus outta there.”

“I suppose you know what that feels like more than I do.”

Chrysalis had nothing to say in response to this; instead, she simply closed her eyes and recalled those aimless years spent drifting across much of Equestria, doing a little bit of this and that to scrape by, until she’d finally landed in Palomino Creek and put down some semblance of roots. If a dingy apartment over a bar where she did the occasional odd-job counted as roots, that is. Still, it was literally the furthest spot away from Canterlot before you started looping back toward it from the opposite direction and it had been worth it to get away from Little Miss Golden-Shoes, Principal Celestia. She snorted, remembering their frequent clashes. At the time, they’d been a lot of fun.

“Despite what you may have been thinking, Chrys,” Luna said, noting the sombre look on her sister’s face, “Celestia didn’t want you to leave Canterlot. Neither of us wanted that.”

“Perhaps not,” Chrysalis replied, not even bothering to disguise the distinct note of bitterness that had crept into her voice as visions of her departure flooded into her mind’s eye, “but she didn’t exactly have my back when the school board forced my resignation and took my teaching license either.” With that black mark on her record, she couldn’t get a job at even the most decrepit and rundown of schools.

“It wasn’t enough to just be good at your job, which even Celestia would admit that you were when you bothered to turn up at all,” Luna said more harshly than she’d intended. They’d had this same argument in the past, and she deeply resented having to rehash it once more. “D’you know how many times you can turn up for work drunk and get away with it? None whatsoever. If we hadn’t been covering for your sorry butt, you’d have been kicked out long before you actually were.” As much as it had pained them to do so, both Celestia and Luna had eventually come to the same realisation: Chrysalis was not going to change her ways. So long as there were people who’d argue her case, she’d never have an impetus to improve herself. “You might not have known this, but Celestia tried so hard to persuade the board to let you keep your license. They were out to make an example of you at that point, though.”

“I didn’t know that, actually,” Chrysalis said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Why did they concede now?”

“Frankly, they didn’t have much of a choice. When it proved impossible to lure Mi Amore Cadenza away from Crystal Prep, there was no one else suitably qualified to take over my position at CHS at short notice.”

“Temporarily take over your position.”

Luna said nothing.

“You’re not going back?” Chrysalis sounded surprised.

“I haven’t decided yet. It depends on how the next few weeks pan out.”

“I see.” Chrysalis looked thoughtful for a moment. “Mi Amore Cadenza. Why do I know that name?”

“She’s better known by her nickname, Cadance,” said Luna.

“Oh, I remember now. Isn’t that skinny little jezebel a guidance counsellor or something?”

“She was. They used to call her the Princess of Love because of her mediation skills. She was promoted to dean, then took over as principal at Crystal Prep when Abacus Cinch … um, retired. As fond as she is of Twilight, she didn’t want to leave her own school in the lurch after it had already been through so much change.”

“Well, I’ve certainly missed out on a lot while I was away, haven’t I?” replied Chrysalis, making a face.

“Oh, you have no idea,” Luna said, hiding a smirk behind her hand.

She wasn’t sure why it was bugging her so much, the idea that Celestia had tried to cultivate an option closer to home first; it made obvious sense, but still, Chrysalis was stung by the news all the same. If Cadance had said yes, she’d still be out in Palomino Creek sweeping up the debris – occasionally her own – in Salt Block Saloon none the wiser to any of what was going on with Luna. Reaching into a pocket in her dress, Chrysalis chucked a piece of scrap paper on to the table. “If you need or want anything, even if it’s just to whinge and rant – or you want me to set you up with some of the delightful gentlemen I know, some of them are even single, I think – then give me a call. Even if it’s in the middle of the night.”

“Especially if it’s in the middle of the night, I think you meant?” Luna said dryly.

“What? Now that I’m gainfully employed again, I’ll need my beauty rest,” replied Chrysalis sardonically. Getting up and heading toward the door, she said, “Take it easy, all right?”

Following her sister to the door, Luna placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her from leaving right away. In spite of her seeming frailness, the grip was surprisingly firm and Chrysalis turned to look at her. “All I want,” Luna said softly, “is for you to forgive Celestia, all right? She was devastated when you left town after you were fired. We both were. I know you partly blame her for that, but she really did try her best for you, and if you’d just asked she would’ve fought tooth and nail to get you another job somewhere in Canterlot. You were always so stubborn, always taking things personally, and you were determined to do things in your own way.”

Disentangling herself from her sister’s embrace, Chrysalis suppressed a sigh. “No promises, but I’ll try, okay?”

“Thank you,” said a relieved Luna. After Chrysalis had left, she sat back down and reflected on how things had went between her and her sister; they could’ve gone a lot worse, but she didn’t get a sense that she truly wanted to reform her ways. But then, as she’d been thinking earlier, Chrysalis was here and that was a big step in itself.