WAY Too Many Marefriends, and Girlfriends(?)

by ThePinkedWonder

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Starlight Glimmer, Romance, Sex, Spike, Slice of Life, Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 11330

When Starlight tries to help Eric Reed "forget" an certain experience with magic, it just gives him more to want to forget.

Still wanting to forget what happened when Discord put Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Starlight Glimmer under a spell to "teach" him that he doesn't need a girlfriend to be happy, Eric Reed asks Starlight to cast a spell to make him forget it happened.

Not what he learned from it, but what he went through to learn it.

In a not-so-surprising manner, the spell goes wrong.

Not only did Eric not forget anything, but now he'll have to avoid the affections of just about every mare in Ponyville, and beyond! Even one that usually lives far away from Ponyville may want in on the action...

Like this story's predecessor "Too Many Marefriends (And wives)" this story takes place after the events of my "A Giant Adventure to Equestria" story, which I'll have the link for below. It's not mandatory to read it to understand or enjoy this story, but it would help you understand more of who the OC human character Eric Reed is. It is also not mandatory to read this story's predecessor, which is a one-shot, although it would give a little more context as to why the plot in this story is like it is.

And no, not that plot.

http://www.fimfiction.net./story/427481/a-giant-adventure-to-equestria

Published 2019-01-29 20:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-04 14:47:10 UTC

Chapter 1: Weird Side Effect

Hey, Eric "Buggie" Reed here.

A week ago, I had what was by far one of my weirdest experiences in Equestria, and of my life. Even weirder than when I first woke up bug-sized in Equestria and had to be like that for the first several months here.

Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity suddenly started hitting on me and wanted to go on dates with me.

Twilight Sparkle took it even further by wanting to marry me!

And Starlight Glimmer...oh my Celestia...I don't even want to talk about what she wanted to do. All I'll say is that the answer was NO!!

However, it wasn't their fault. Discord put a spell on them that made them act that way. He knew that I was missing being able to date back in my human world, since I don't think about ponies like that. And being the good friend he can be, when he feels like it, he wanted to teach me that I didn't need a girlfriend, in the only way he knows how: through chaos!

And he was right. I didn't. I already have all I'll need to be completely happy.

But that experience...oh boy...was a hard one to forget. I even asked Starlight if she could use a spell to make me forget what happened, but still remember that I don't need a girlfriend here. At first, she said no. Well, "Buck, no!" to be exact. But now, she changed her mind.

lying on my bed in my room, resting, Starlight cracked open my bedroom door with her magic, asking if I was in there.

'I'm here, Starie."

She opened the door completely and stepped inside. "Hey, Buggie? Remember when you asked me if I knew a spell to make you forget about...that, last week?"

"Yep, I remember. And you said 'Buck, no'."

"But I've been thinking. I can't make you forget it, but I can make it so you'll forget the feeling you had back then, when I asked you to--"

I raised a hand up, and interrupted, "And let's just leave it at that, Starie. Where can you do the spell?" My eyes were almost about to start twitching again.

"I can do it right now, you ready?"

"Yes!" I jumped off my bed, and run over to Starie, and stood right in front and faced her. "I'll stand still, so do your thing."

Starlight's horn glowed light-blue, and she fired a beam of magic at me. But I didn't feel any different.

Looking down at myself confused, I said, "I...don't think anything changed. I still remember that feeling about...that."

Starlight put a hoof on her cheek, and looked down a bit, thinking about why it apparently didn't work. "Really? That's odd. I'm pretty sure I did the spell right."

"Well either you didn't, or you did the wrong one."

Starlight's eyes suddenly got huge. She gasped, then ran out of my room.

"Wait, where you're going? What's wrong?!"

She didn't say anything back, so I chased after her to find out why she seemed to be freaking-out.

I chased her to the library part of the castle. She was going through some book, using her magic to quickly turn the pages, in a bit of a panic.

Spike came into the room, seeing Starlight in that panic, and asked me, "What's wrong with Starlight, Eric?"

With a hand on my chin, I responded, "I don't know, Spike. She did a spell on me, then freaked out when it apparently didn't work."

Spike facepalmed. "Oh no, not this again! Haven't you learned to not use spells to solve your problems, Starlight?"

Starlight put down the book she was going through, annoyed by that question. "Okay, first of all, Spike, it wasn't to solve my problem this time, but Buggie's. Second, I wouldn't have tried it if he didn't beg me to do it the other day!"

And yeah...I kinda did beg Starlight to do this kind of spell. But I was desperate! I just had to at least forget how that Unicorn, my big sister no less, wanted to glimglam me while she was under that spell of Discord's! I know, it was dumb, but Twilight did once say I'd probably make more mistakes, so...

Anyway, Spike turned to glare at me. "Okay, in that case, haven't you learned not to ask Starlight to solve your problems with spells from watching our 'cartoon'? Unless Chrysalis came back, you should know not to ask Starlight for stuff like this!"

Starlight rolled her eyes, and complained, "Gee, you didn't have to say it like that, Spike. You make it sound like I'm a walking, talking disaster area when I use magic! I'm not that bad...anymore."

"Sorry."

After Spike got done with the Starlight Glimmer shaming, I said, "Never mind that, Spike, what's going on, Starlight? You still didn't say why you panicked."

"Oh, right. It's just that I might've cast that spell a little bit wrong, and it did something else instead, as a...side effect."

Alarmed, Spike gasped, "What's it gonna do to Eric?"

Starlight didn't have to answer: we got it, when we heard Trixie barge in the castle.

"Eric? Are you here?" Trixie's voice tone was a little...saucy.

Spike asked, "Is that Trixie? Why didn't she knock first?"

"Yeah, she usually does, so it must be important. I'll go ask her what's wrong."

"N-No, Buggie! D-Don't go! Don't go near Trixie!"

But by the time Starlight got all that out, I was already out of the room, and ran to Trixie.

Trixie, in turn, ran up to me, and "answered" what I was about to ask her, similar to like how Twilight did, when I asked her that question a week ago: with a romantic smile and batted her eyes. She did it just a little bit better than when Rainbow did that.

"Oh...no! Don't tell me..."

"Yes! The Great and Powerful Trixie has come to declare her undying love for you, Eric Reed! Now pucker up!"

The next thing I knew, Trixie grabbed me with her magical telekinesis, pulled me to her, wrapped her forelegs around me, and laid a big wet one on my lips, for two seconds! I would've turned away, but she was holding me in her magic, so I couldn't turn in time. It was the second most awkward two seconds of my life. And for the record, Unicorns are OP!

After she was done, Trixie let me go from both her forelegs and magic, and like when Starlight did it, I stepped away from Trixie, wiping my mouth.

"Aw, don't be like that, my number one and only boyfriend! Now, come with me for the greatest show of your life!" Trixie grabbed me with her magic again, and dragged me beside her to the door. If a Unicorn or Alicorn grabs me with their magic, I can't break their grip on my own, so unless Starlight did something, Trixie was going to take me away, and I couldn't do anything about it!

"Uh, I-I'll pass on seeing that show! Starlight, help!"

Starlight pulled me to her with her own magic, breaking Trixie's magical grip on me. "Uh, how about I get Eric dressed up first, Trixie? You go and wait for us!"

Spike hurried over to Starlight, and poked her side to get her attention. "Wait, you're not gonna actually let Er--"

Starlight leaned down to Spike, and whispered, "No, Spike, of course I'm not! But because of the spell, Trixie won't leave him alone unless she thinks we'll bring him to her later or something."

Not hearing what Starlight just whispered, Trixie yelled, "Oh yes! He'll need to be dressed up for what we're going to do, so make sure he looks good, Starlight, and I'll be back to get him later!"

"Wait, Trixie what do you mean by--" But, before I could finish, Trixie was out of the castle. It might've been for the best. I might not have wanted to know what that suddenly crazy pony had planned for me...gulp.

"Okay, what in Celestia's name just happened, Starlight?!"

"Well, it's about that spell, Buggie. It didn't do the effect I meant for it, but it has a very unfortunate side effect...you're gonna want to stay in the castle until I can reverse it."

"Why's that, Starlight? Is Eric gonna be in danger or something?"

"Because every mare that's not me, Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, or Fluttershy is gonna be like how Trixie was to him."

My mouth dropped hearing that, and I shouted, "Wait, WHAT?! You mean almost every mare in Ponyville are gonna be after me, Starlight?!"

Starlight nodded her head. "Yep, until I reverse that spell, Buggie, almost every mare's gonna act like you're their boyfriend."

I facepalmed. "You mean, I'm gonna have to go through what I went through last week, again?!"

Okay...fine, I guess I deserved this, for actually asking Starlight to fix this with magic, knowing her history of spells backfiring in her face.

"But, if almost every mare will be after Eric, won't they all be coming here, Starlight? Everypony knows Eric lives here."

"Oh yeah, I forgot."

"So I better get out of here and hide out somewhere, till you fix this spell."

"But where, Buggie?"

Spike snapped his claws. "Maybe Fluttershy will let you hide out at her place?"

"Oh yeah, I bet she'll be okay with that."

"All right, so Buggie, Spike, let's head to her place!"

Being very careful to make sure I wasn't seen, Starlight, Spike, and I headed over to Fluttershy's.

At Fluttershy's place, I knocked on her door a few times, but she didn't respond.

"Odd. I thought Fluttershy would be home," Spike said.

"Guess she's still in the woods talking to her animal friends? I've seen her do that a lot when I watched your cartoon."

"She could. She does lose time talking to them sometimes. I guess we should think of another place to hide Eric."

As I turned around to Starlight and Spike to say something, the door opened, and I felt myself get grabbed by a pony's wings, and yanked in the house. When my shock wore off, I found myself looking right in Fluttershy's eyes, who released her wings on me, but then threw her forelegs around me, giving me a romantic smile, and batted her eyes. She also did it better than Rainbow. Not as good as Rarity, though.

"F-Fluttershy? What's going on?!"

"Oh, I'm just want to give my boyfriend a big kiss is all!"

Before I could respond, Fluttershy laid her own big wet one on me. Because I wasn't in magic, I was able to turn away just in time, so she only got my cheek.

That made Fluttershy giggle, "Aw, you are just adorable, Eric! Pretending you don't want to kiss me!"

I stuttered, "D-d-don't take it the wrong w-way, Fluttershy, but--"

Fluttershy looked away from my eyes, and slightly loosened her grip on me, but still kept her forelegs around me. "Oh...did I kiss you wrong?"

"Well, no, it's not like you did it wrong, Fluttershy, but..."

Fluttershy perked back up, and tightened her grip again. "Oh! Well in that case, I'll just do it some more! You know what they say about 'practice makes perfect', right?"

I never thought I'd say this, but I liked the shy Fluttershy better. But besides that, Starlight said Fluttershy wouldn't be affected, so why is she?! I know I said before that Fluttershy is adorable is all gets out, but I still don't think of her like that!

Now with my hands on Fluttershy's chest, trying to hold her back, I called out, "Uh, Starlight? Spike? You can come in, any time now!"

Starlight and Spike ran in through the still-open door. Starlight used her magic to free me from Fluttershy's grip (She's much stronger then she looks!) and pulled me away from her by a couple of feet with it. Starlight then lied, "Uh, wait, Fluttershy! Eric, uh...just came to ask you what kind of gift you'll want, because he wanted to get you something before he kissed you for the first time."

I turned my head in Starlight's direction, and asked, "I do?"

Starlight gave me a glare, trying to tell me to just play along.

"Uh, yeah, I do!" I turned my head back to Fluttershy. "Yep, I don't like to kiss my marefriends before I...get them a gift first, Fluttershy!"

"But I don't need anything from you, besides you, Eric," Fluttershy said, before she slowly closed the distance between us, with a smile. She was ready to get back to kissing me and to rival Twilight, when she was still the Princess of Smooching.

Spike cut in and asked, "But, uh, maybe Angel or another of your animal friends might want something?"

That sure got Angel's attention, who hopped between Fluttershy and me, and gave her a glare. He wasn't gonna give up the chance to get something.

Fluttershy sighed, "Okay, I'll let you get something for Angel."

I took that chance, and ran right to the door. "Yes, I'll get him something nice, and I'll be back, Fluttershy!"

And yeah, I'd be back all right...but it wouldn't be till Starlight fixes this spell.

Starlight and Spike told Fluttershy that they'll help me get Angel something good, and the three of us sped out the door.

Hiding in some bushes, so I can stay hidden, Starlight, Spike, and I were trying to plan our next move.

"Starlight? I thought you said Fluttershy wouldn't be affected?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, Starie, unless Fluttershy's been keeping a big secret from me, I'm gonna go on a limb, and say that she was affected.

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry, Buggie. I forgot that she wasn't acting like how I and the others were, so she's not immune to the side effect to that spell."

"But why would it matter anyway, Starlight?" Spike brought up.

"Well, this spell was meant to make Buggie forget what he felt when the others and I were under that spell a week ago, right? But because of how I messed this spell up, any mares that were under the one from last week will be immune to the "side effect" to the spell I just cast, so that's why I'm not affected right now, but Fluttershy is."

"Uh...could you repeat that?" Spike asked.

Starlight groaned, and said in a flat tone, "It means if you're a mare, and you didn't make him feel the awkwardness I and the others put him through last week, you're gonna be affected by this spell I cast on him."

"Oh, I get it now."

"Well at least now we know me hiding at Fluttershy's place is out, so we'll need to find some other place for me."

"But where?" Spike asked. "We better pick our spot carefully. If Eric's spotted outside, we'll be in trouble."

As the three of us tried to think of where I should hide next, I had a feeling that I'd have to go through a lot more, till Starlight fixes this spell.

And then, there's what Twilight would do to Starlight and me, if we didn't fix this "side effect" of Starlight's spell in time. I didn't think that the possible future Princess of ~~Friendship~~ Buttkicking would be too happy about this. Even if I'm not scared of Twilight, she's still scary when she's mad!

Chapter 2: Weird Chase

Well, I sure found myself in a weird situation. I ~~begged~~ asked Starlight to cast a spell so I could forget the weirdness that her, Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow's flirting did to me when they were under a spell from Discord.

But I really should've thought that through, with Starlight's tendency to screw-up spells when she uses them for plans like this one. The spell I asked Starlight to cast backfired, and a "side effect" from it had almost every mare thinking I'm their boyfriend.

Trixie was the first to come after me, and she even tried to drag me away to give me the "greatest show of my life" in her magic! But Starlight freed me, and got Trixie to leave me alone...for now. Then Fluttershy took a turn when I, along with Starlight and Spike, went to her place, hoping I could hide there. Another lie from Starlight got Flutterlovergirl to let me go, and we got out of there! I will hope that a certain Lord of Chaos doesn't get mad about Fluttershy doing that.

And apparently, any mare that's not Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie, Rainbow, or Starlight would give me the same kind of "treatment" Trixie and Fluttershy did if they see me, until Starlight can fix the spell on me. But for the time being, she's just focused on finding me a safe place to hide out, and Spike's with us to try to help us.

Now hiding in some bushes, Starlight, Spike, and I were trying to plan our next move.

"Okay, so the castle and Fluttershy's place are out, so what now?" Spike asked.

"Well, maybe I can hide at Applejack's farm for now."

Starlight reminded, "You know Applejack's gonna let you and me have it, for trying this 'stunt' she'll probably call it, right, Buggie?"

"Oh...yeah, she will. We better pick another place then."

Spike suggested, "Well, what about if we hide Eric at Rainbow's place?"

"Hmm. That could work, and she's immune the this spell's side effect, right, Starie?"

"Yeah, she will be, let's hurry over there!"

To avoid me being seen, Starlight cast an invisibility spell on me, I got on her back so she and Spike would know where I was, and we sped off to Rainbow's place. She's strong enough to carry me on her back without too much trouble, even when I'm normal-sized, and is as tall as her.

At Rainbow's, in front of her door, Starlight removed her invisibility spell on me, I got off her back, and we told Rainbow what happened. She got a good laugh out of it.

"Ha, ha! Oh, this is too rich! And Trixie tried to drag you away with her, Eric? Ha ha ha!"

I was not amused, and I whined, "It's not funny, Rainbow!"

"Well, of course not, for you! But I'll stop....ha ha ha!" Rainbow put a hoof on her chest. I guess it was hurting from her laughing.

Starlight rolled her eyes, and asked, "Well, if you must keep laughing, Rainbow, can Buggie at least go hide inside while you do it?'

Still laughing and holding her chest, Rainbow nodded her head. But before I could get in, I felt something grab me from behind, and I found myself in the hooves of...Spitfire, who was giving me -- you guessed it -- a romantic smile, and tried to bat her eyes. She did not do it better than Rainbow.

But now a mare I barely even know had gotten into the act! Rainbow finally stopped laughing about my "mare" problem, when she saw who had me in her grip.

"S-Spitfire? What are you doing here?!" Rainbow asked, with her mouth open at the sight of me in Spitfire's grip.

Turning her head in Rainbow's direction, Spitfire told Rainbow, "Why do you think, Rainbow Crash? I'm here to kiss my boyfriend!" She turned her head back to me, and told me, "Now, big boy, here comes the biggest kiss of your life!" She tried to kiss me on the lips, and I turned away, as you probably guessed I would.

"Aw, now that's cute, but I'll get you on the lips eventually. I didn't get where I am on the Wonderbolts for giving up easy!"

Spitfire started trying to get me on the lips, forcing me to hold her back. After a few moments stunned, Starlight snapped out of it and finally stepped in to free me from Spitfire's grip with her magic.

"Wait, wait, Spitfire! Buggie's not prepared for...this. And you of all ponies should know how important it is to be prepared! Don't you want to get the best kiss of your life from your....boyfriend?"

"Uh, yeah! Starlight's right, Spitfire!" Spike yelled out. "Give us some time to get him ready, okay?"

"Uh...Yes! I can give you the biggest kiss of your life, but you gotta give me some time to prepare, okay, my little, uh...Firecracker?"

I have no idea what made me call Spitfire "Firecracker" as a pet name. But I do know I was just trying to say anything to get Spitfire to go away.

"Oh, 'Firecracker', I like that! I knew my boyfriend was something special! All right you take some time, Hot Lips, and I'll come back later. And then, your 'Firecracker' will give you the greatest kiss of your life!"

I shuddered, as Spitfire flapped her wings and flew away.

Hearing all that made Rainbow Dash fall on her back, as she cracked up laughing again, even louder than she was before. "Ha, ha! Oh, that was even richer! And you called Spitfire, 'My little Firecracker'? Oh, Eric! Ha ha ha!"

I sarcastically laughed at Rainbow, then turned to Starlight. "Well, I guess this place is out too, now what?"

"You know that Buggie? Let's just head to Applejack's. At least she won't laugh about it like Rainbow is."

The laughing ~~Hyena~~ Pegasus finally stopped her laughing and agreed with Starlight. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry about that. But that really does sound like a good idea, but you know she's gonna give you all a hard time, right?"

"Yeah, I know. But I'll take that over what you just did, Rainbow. Plus, I don't think I'll have to worry about being hit on over there."

And with that, Starlight, Spike, and I headed over to Applejack's, after Starlight recast the invisibility spell, and I got on her back again.

At Applejack's farm, in her house, sitting in chairs around a wooden table, we told Applejack what was going on. After we did, as you probably guessed would happen, she let Starlight and me have it.

"Are you two crazy?! Eric, I can get why yer still a bit freaked-out over last week, and again, I'm really sorry about that. But asking Starlight to cast this kind of spell? And ya went along with it, Starlight?"

Rubbing the back of my head, I confessed, "Well, I'll admit, this wasn't one of my better ideas. But I just wanted to forget that feeling from last week! It was just too weird!"

Starlight rubbed the back of her head as well with a hoof, and admitted, "And you're right, I shouldn't have done the spell."

Taking my hand off my head, I asked, "But can I hide here, so Starlight can focus on fixing this spell? She can't work on doing it if she's worried about some love-sick mare coming out from somewhere."

"Well, I guess so, if almost every mare will be after...wait, hold on," Applejack looked in the direction of her back door. "Maybe ya shouldn't hide here."

"What's wrong?" Spike asked.

"You three said every mare that's not me, Pinkie, Rainbow, Twilight, Rarity, or Starlight would be after Eric, right?"

Starlight said, "If you're worried about Apple Bloom trying anything, this spell's effect won't affect her, because she's still a filly. Fillies wouldn't be affected by a spell like this."

"Oh, I wasn't thinkin' about Apple Bloom, I was thinkin' about--"

Just then, from behind the back door, we heard a voice call out, "Hey, Applejack, is that my boyfriend--"

It was Granny Smith! Oh, buck no! As soon as I heard her voice, I didn't stick around any longer to hear what she said after that: I jumped off my chair, picked up Spike with one arm, grabbed Starlight's hoof on one of her forelegs with a hand on my other arm. Then, I ran out of that house through the front door, carrying Spike in an arm and dragging Starlight behind me by her hoof. The only way I could have gotten out any faster was if I teleported out!

After we ran away from the farm, with me still dragging her, Starlight called out, "I think we're a safe distance away, Buggie, so you can stop dragging me!"

"I'm not taking any chances, Starie! Till we get in that bush in front of us, I am not gonna stop running!"

I jumped into that bush, taking Spike and Starlight in it with me. Carrying Spike wasn't that bad, but dragging Starlight, a full-grown pony, as far as I did, was tiring, so I had to catch my breath. Starlight had to catch her breath a bit too, for being dragged on the ground so far.

"Okay...I guess we should've thought a little harder when we picked the Apple farm."

"You guess, Spike? I'll rather go back to Trixie and let her drag me away to whatever she wanted to do than kiss Granny Smith on the lips!"

Spike agreed, "I wouldn't blame you."

"Well, time to think of another place for me to hide."

"Well, since Pinkie's immune to this spell's side effect, maybe we can hide you in her room at Sugarcube Corner, Buggie?"

"Well, as long as Granny Smith isn't going to go there anytime soon, I'm game to try to hide there."

Now at Sugarcube Corner, we were going to tell Pinkie Pie all that happened, and why I want to hide in her room till Starlight fixes the side effect of the spell on me. But she was nowhere to be seen, and the place seemed empty. This time, even though I still got on Starlight's back, she forgot to recast her invisibility spell, so I was visible the whole time we ran to Sugarcube Corner. And after what happened with Granny Smith, I forgot to remind her. Though, I'm not sure what made Spike and Starlight forget.

Spike walked around the empty bakery. "Odd. I thought Pinkie was working today."

With a hand on my chin, I answered, "Maybe she's on her break or something?"

All of a sudden, Mrs. Cake barged through the entrance door, and you know what she did: she ran up to me with a romantic smile, batting her eyes (worse than Rainbow, but better than Spitfire) wrapped her forelegs around me, and tried to kiss me on the lips. Of course, I turned away.

"My big cupcake's in a teasing mood today, huh? But what took you so long to get here?"

Great. Not only was I going through this again, but now it's a married mare that I was in the grip of. Mr. Cake might want to kick my butt all over Equestria if he saw this! It's a good thing Starlight's with me. I might need the protection of her, one of the most powerful Unicorns in Equestria if he saw Mrs. Cake doing this.

"Wait, Mrs. Cake!" I shouted. "We can't do this! What about Mr. Cake?!"

"Oh, forget that old fart! I want myself a real stallion! Even if you're not technically a 'stallion'!"

Starlight broke me from Mrs. lovin's grip with her magic before she landed a kiss on my lips, and Spike said, "W-W-Wait, Mrs. Cake? Don't you want to have a big party to celebrate you getting a real, uh, 'stallion'?"

"Oh, of course, Spike! Why didn't I think of that before? I'll get right on that!"

Lyra ran in through the still-open door, knocking down Starlight and Spike (because they were standing in front of it) and had a romantic smile. She's a Unicorn, so she used her magic to drag me to her, threw her forelegs around me, batted her eyes, and landed a kiss on my lips! Just like with Trixie, because I was in Lyra's magic, I couldn't turn my head in time. I did still wipe my mouth though. And did I say that Unicorns are OP?

"Surprise! You didn't have to come here to buy me any sweets, you're the only 'sweet' I need, Sweet Stuff!"

Mrs. Cake didn't like that. She went over to Lyra, poked her in the eye to force her to release me from her magical grip, and yelled, "Get your own boyfriend, Lyra! This sweet cupcake is mine!"

Lyra yelled back, "Don't you call him a 'cupcake'! Only I get to call him pet names like that, you old hag!"

Now Bon Bon ran through the open door! I was free, so before Mrs. Cake, Lyra, or I could react, she ran to me, threw her forelegs around me, and kissed me on the lips! At this point, I was just too stunned and tired to resist her. She yelled to Mrs. Cake and Lyra, "Keep your hooves off my boyfriend! Can't you two see he's not interested in you two? Sweet Lips here will want a real mare, like me, not one of you two wannabes!"

Lyra responded, "But I don't think Eric wants a real disappointment of a mare like you, Bon Bon!"

"Yeah, so let him go, get out of my bakery, and take that other real disappointment away with you, Bon Bon! My cupcake and I want to be alone!"

And things just kept getting worse for me.

Miss Cheerilee ran in through the open door, and forced Bon Bon to loosen her grip by biting her on the side of a hoof she still had wrapped around me. Once I was free, Cheerilee wrapped her forelegs around me, gave that 'ol romantic smile and eye batting, and kissed me on the lips. And I wasn't feeling too good at this point.

"What's wrong, Sugar Bear? Are you tired?"

In a weak voice, I answered, "Y-yeah, I am, Miss Cheerilee."

Cheerilee let me go, and placed me on her back, saying, "Well come with me, and I'll help you to relax, Sweet Thing!

And we can't make this a party without her: Derpy came flying through the open door! She crashed into Cheerilee, and since I was still on Cheerilee's back, all three of us hit the floor. Derpy was at least nice enough to help me up, before doing what the other mares up to this point has done, and got me to the lips.

Why couldn't something like this happen to me when I was still in my old human world?! Oh, right, it had no Starlight Glimmer in it to do a spell like this, and have it backfire like this!

During all this, Spike and Starlight were still lying on the floor, from when Lyra knocked them down when she ran though the door to Sugarcube Corner, with their mouths wide open at the...attention I was getting in front of them.

Spike finally got up and said to Starlight, "I think this is getting out of control, Starlight! And how did they all know Eric was here?"

Starlight, still lying on her stomach, facehoofed. "Uh-oh, Spike. I forgot to recast that invisibility spell, so they must've seen Buggie come in with us!"

Still in Derpy's grip, I finally screamed, "Starlight! Your little brother could use his big sister's help right about now!!"

I didn't have to ask my big sis twice. She finally stood up and teleported me to her. Not even trying to think of an excuse to tell the love-struck mares, she just told me to run. And run I did!

With Mrs. Cake, Bon Bon, Lyra, Cheerilee, and Derpy chasing us, Starlight, Spike, and I ran out of Sugarcube Corner and around it in a circle. But Spike and I couldn't run as fast as Starlight when she's running at full speed, so once she saw us falling behind she picked us up with her magic and levitated us beside her, so we could keep up with her.

After Starlight turned around a corner of the building, she dived into some bushes, taking us in with her. The five crazy mares chasing us ran right past the bushes we were hiding behind. After a minute, they thought we got away, and gave up their chase.

After I caught my breath I yelled, "Okay, this is getting ridiculous! Is there any place in Ponyville I can hide?!"

"I'm starting to think 'No', Buggie. At this rate, I'll never get the chance to figure out how to reverse that spell on you! It won't be nearly as hard as it was to learn the counterspell to the Nightmare Prevention Spell, but I'll still need about an hour at least to do it!"

Turns out, Starlight picked the wrong bush to hide in. I felt myself get yanked out by a hoof and I found myself in the forelegs of everyone's favorite rock-lover, Maud, who somehow knew we would be there if she waited. Maybe she used her Maud Sense?

"Hi. What took you so long?"

This might've been the most awkward embrace yet. Maud stared right in my eyes, she didn't smile, but she batted her eyes two times, but believe it or not: she still did it better than Spitfire, and she also gave the longest kiss, at eight seconds. This was definitely one of those days I wished I stayed in bed.

After she got done, I just weakly asked, "Uh...Starlight? Help?"

Starlight facehoofed, and said flatly, "Okay, this is getting annoying now."

Starlight's horn glowed, and she teleported herself, Spike, and I back in Twilight's castle, in front of the Cutie Map.

I fell on my back on the floor, and half-joked, "Okay, maybe we should use a time spell and go back in time, so I can stop myself from asking you to cast that spell, Starie."

"At this point, I'm almost considering it, Buggie. This is just crazy!

Spike suggested, "But before we do, maybe we should first just hide Eric somewhere outside of Ponyville?"

"Oh, of course! We can hide him at Sunburst's! Because very few mares besides me visits him, he should be safe there!"

I'm not completely sure if Starlight was trying to roast Sunburst by that, or if she was just stating a fact. But I was on board with that idea, and so was Spike.

"Well, I'm good with that idea."

"Me too. So, Starie, Spike, let's go to the Crystal Empire!"

The three of us headed over to the train station, to catch a train to the Crystal Empire. We were hoping things would go smoothly once we got there. Turns out, we were wrong. Badly wrong.

Oh, and Lyra, Bon Bon, Miss Cheerilee, and Derpy all batted their eyes better than how Rainbow did it.

Chapter 3: Weird Royal Treatment

Oh man, this was the weirdest day of my life. This was so weird, I'm not even gonna give much of a recap like I usually do, and I'm just gonna skip most of it this time.

Starlight, Spike, and I were on our way to the Crystal Empire to hide me at Sunburst's place. Once I was safely there, Starlight would finally be able to focus on fixing a spell she cast on me that's making every mare think I'm their boyfriend, and not take "no" for an answer, as one of the weirdest side effects of all-time.

Starlight's invisibility spell wouldn't last long enough to hide me for the entire trip, so she had no choice but to end the counterspell's effect of the Nightmare Prevention spell's magic that's still active on me to shrink me back to four inches tall, since without its counterspell, I can't be my normal height. This way I can hide in her mane, and she'd keep me there till we got to Sunburst's place, then cast the counterspell again to return me to my normal height. I haven't been on her head in over three weeks, so it was about time to get on my big sister's head again for a while, anyway.

In the Crystal Empire, at Sunburst's place, Starlight levitated me off her head, sat me on a chair, and recast the counterspell to return me to normal height. Then she, Spike, and I told Sunburst all that's going on.

Playing with his beard, Sunburst asked, "Really? Every mare has chased after Eric all day?"

"Yep, and "chasing" might be putting it lightly, Sunburst," Spike sighed.

"No kidding, If Starlight wasn't a Unicorn that mastered teleportation, she wouldn't have been able to get me out of there!"

"We didn't try to ask Rarity for help, because she was working at her place, and the last place to hide Eric from mares is there. You're the only one I could think of to help us hide him, so, can he hide here until I can reverse this spell on him?"

"Sure, Starlight, he can hide here, and I'll help you figure out how to reverse that spell on him."

"All right, thanks a lot Sunburst. I owe you one. I'll be sure to stay out of your and Starlight's way while you two figure out how to fix the spell Starlight cast on me."

Starlight grabbed two books from a bookshelf with magic. "Well, Sunburst, the first thing we gotta do is find out what part of the spell went wrong, then use a spell to counteract it. I think Twilight and I have been over it before, but I don't remember exactly what it was."

Sunburst picked up another two books from the bookshelf. "Okay, let's get to work, Starlight."

Starlight and Sunburst went through book after book, as they tried and figure out how to reverse the spell on me. They went on about some spells that I still can't or just struggle to pronounce. This felt very familiar to my first day in Equestria, when Twilight and Starlight were trying to learn the counterspell to the Nightmare Prevention Spell. Except that this time, I'm waiting while normal-sized, and not hiding in a mane of a (to a tiny-size me) giant pony.

Close to an hour later, Starlight and Sunburst were getting close to figuring out how to reverse the spell. Sunburst went to a window to take a look outside, gasped, and nervously asked, "Uh, Starlight, since you're the one that cast the spell, do you think the 'side effect' to it would be strong enough to affect Alicorns?"

Starlight put a hoof to her cheek and thought about that. "Hmm. It might, if they weren't prepared for it. Why you ask?"

"In that case, you better hide, Eric. Now."

"But why should he--" Before Spike could finish, we found out why Sunburst asked if Alicorns would be affected.

Princess Cadance, with Flurry Heart on her head, came through the door and pulled me to her with her magic. She then threw her forelegs around me, gave -- you guessed it -- a romantic smile, and batted her eyes. Then she gave me a wet one on the lips. Just like when the Unicorns got me on the lips, I couldn't turn my head because I was in the grip of Cadance's magic. In fact, because I was in an Alicorn's magical grip, I could barely move anyway.

Not that it made it much less awkward for me, but I'd say that Cadance batted her eyes not just better than Rainbow, but better than Rarity.

"There you are, sweetie! I knew you'll come to the Crystal Empire before the day was over!"

"P-Princess Cadance! You didn't say you were coming by today. What's wrong?"

Still holding me in her forelegs and magic, Cadance kissed me a second time, then turned to Sunburst. "Oh, I'm sorry about that, Sunburst. I know I shouldn't just show up without warning just because I'm a princess, and think I can just do what I want. But I could just sense that Eric was here, and I just had to come get my sweetie."

"B-But what about Shining Armor? He won't like us like this, Princess Cadance, nor will Twilight!"

"Well, we can keep this a secret from them, can't we? I do so much as a Princess, so I deserve the fun of having a boyfriend and a husband! And you don't have to call me 'Princess Cadance', sweetie. Call me 'Heartstealer'. Don't that sound better for the pony that has your heart?"

Cadance wouldn't be wrong about that you know, if she did steal my heart!

At this point, Starlight had got to be nearing her limit on freeing me from love-sick mares, and it might just be her sisterly love that's keeping her going. But she tried to do it again by running up to Cadance and begged, "Wait, hold on, Princess Cadance. Uh, how about we go prepare him for...whatever you want to do with him first?"

Spike, probably nearing his limit too, added, "Y-yeah! You don't get much free time to just...enjoy yourself. So, uh, don't you want to make it count?"

Cadance rolled her eyes up, and shocked all of us, including Sunburst and answered, "Hmm...no, I'm good. I love Eric the way he is right now, so he can come with me now."

Spike, Starlight, Sunburst and I all yelled, "What?!"

"Yeah! I'm not a type of princess that needs everything perfect, anyway. I've waited too long as it is --"Cadance levitated Flurry Heart to Sunburst "--and Sunburst, you can watch Flurry Heart can't you? Let's go, Eric!"

WOW! Right now, Cadance was making Twilight look like a princess princess! Twi doesn't carry herself like a "princess", so you could never guess she's one if no one told you, or if you couldn't tell just by the fact that she's an Alicorn. But she does like to make things as perfect as she can: there's a reason why she loves making lists. Princess Cadance? At this point, nope, she didn't care a bit about perfection!

Anyway, the Princess of low maintenance took her forelegs off me, but still held on to me with her magic, turned around to Sunburst's still-open door, and was about to carry me out, when Sunburst asked, "Uh, wait, Princess Cadance! Eric doesn't feel so good right now, so can you give us some time to make him feel better?"

Funny thing is, Sunburst probably thought he was lying, but in truth, he really wasn't. I wasn't feeling good over all this.

Starlight added, "Uh, yeah, Princess Cadance, he was saying he has a headache, right, Buggie?"

That made Cadance loosen her magical grip on me a little, so I could move my arm enough to rub my head, pretending it was hurting badly. It wasn't hurting bad, but just a little. "Uh, yeah, it's really bad, so can you wait a while, my little, uh, Heartstealer?"

Cadance bought it, finally let me go, and she even set me down on the floor gently with her magic. At least she was kind enough to be careful setting me down...unlike some other Alicorn that dropped me on the floor the week before. But before I could relax, she told me, "Oh, well, I guess it can't be helped, so I'll come back in fifteen minutes for you, sweetie, okay?"

"Wait, only fifteen minutes?! What if he needs more time?" Spike asked, with his eyes wide open.

"If he still feels bad, I'll use the power of our love to make him feel better. Okay, guys, make him well, or I will!"

Cadance picked up Flurry Heart from Sunburst with her magic, set her on her head, and left.

Starlight, Spike, Sunburst, and I just sat down on the floor. We all needed to process what happened. Oh, and you guys reading this better not tell Shining Armor I called his wife "Heartstealer" if you ever come here to Equestria and meet him!

"Uh...is that what Shining Armor goes through with Cadance when we're not around?!" I asked.

Starlight, with a hoof on her cheek, answered, "No, I don't think so, Buggie. Remember, the side effect of that spell doesn't only make mares think you're their boyfriend, but make them be a lot more aggressive about it than they'll normally be, or 'out-of-character' I guess you could say."

"And is that why they won't leave Eric alone, even if he's clearly not interested?"

"It should be the reason, Sunburst. I know Trixie, and if she ever gets a boyfriend, she'll never try to drag him away against his will."

"Well, I guess that answers that question, but it doesn't answer this question, Starie: what do we do if Cadance comes back before you learn how to fix this spell?! She's an Alicorn, and I can't escape an Alicorn! I couldn't even escape Fluttershy!"

Starlight assured, "All right, just calm down, Buggie. Princess Cadance said she'll be back in fifteen minutes, but it should be enough time for Sunburst and me to get rid of the side effect of the spell on you."

"Well, you better get to it guys!" Spike demanded.

But before Starlight and Sunburst could get to it again, Princess Celestia opened Sunburst's front door and ran in! Now even the ruler of Equestria's getting into the act!

I once again found myself getting grabbed in a mare's magic. This did go a bit different: because of her height, while pulling me to her, Celestia lifted me in the air higher then the other mares did, by about two feet in the air. Other than that, she did everything the other mares did: she gave "the smile", batted her eyes (better than Rainbow) wrapped her forelegs around me, and then came the kiss on the lips. If you've been keeping count, how many times have I've been kissed by a mare at this point? Over nine thousand?! No wait, that can't be right.

Anyway, with me in her grip, Celestia said, "Here you are, my little Sunshine! I thought you would've been at my palace by now!"

"Uh, I would?"

"Yes! I thought you'll come to me by now! Are you trying to play hide and seek with me, because I found you! What do I win?"

And as Celestia was asking about getting a prize for "finding" me, the Princess of The Night came in! After she used her magic to free me from Celestia's grip, she pulled me to her, gave me the treatment that I'd been getting this whole story, and did "it" better than you-know-who.

"There you are, my little dreamboat! And don't you worry, you're not dreaming: I really am here!"

Welp, there went any hopes I might've had about this being a dream. Celestia turned to face Luna, pulled me back to her with her magic, and wrapped a foreleg around me. "Hey, sister! Eric is my boyfriend! Get your own!"

"No, sister, he is my boyfriend!" Luna pulled me back to her.

Celestia took me back, and yelled at Luna in her "Royal Canterlot" voice, "No, this little Sunshine is mine!"

With the pupils of my eyes spinning in circles from getting this kind of "Royal Treatment" Luna pulled me to her yet again, and yelled in her "Royal Canterlot" voice, "No! Dreamboat here is mine! I need him more than you, sister!"

Maybe it was because she heard Celestia and Luna's yelling, but Cadance came back, much sooner than she said, and asked, "Princess Celestia, Princess Luna? Why are you two here?"

It wasn't just Cadance: I was still curious about that myself. While still in Luna's grip, I added to Cadance's question and questioned, "Y-yeah, why are you here? I thought you were still sleeping, Princess Luna--" I looked in Celestia's direction "--and that you were with Twilight helping her with her lectures, Princess Celestia?"

Celestia pulled me from Luna's magic, and told us, "Well, Twilight's the best student I've ever had, my little Sunshine, and a wonderful princess, so she can handle it all by herself. You need me more!"

Luna took me back. "And I can just go to sleep later! You're in need for some 'Luna-lovin' now!"

Now it was Cadance's turn to pull me to her with her magic, and she also wrapped a wing around me. "Wait, Princess Luna! I'm the Princess of Love remember? If anypony should give my little sweetie any 'lovin', It's me, isn't that right, sweetie?" Cadance leaned her head around to me, still wrapped in her wing, gave me another romantic smile and batted her eyes again. I had no idea how to respond to the Princess of Awkward Questions, so I got out nothing but stutters.

Starlight's, Spike's, and Sunburst's eyes were locked at the sight in front of them. They just couldn't believe what they were seeing.

Spike facepalmed. "I was not ready for today."

Starlight facehoofed too. "Neither was I, Spike."

Sunburst facehoofed last. "Nor was I, when you three came here."

I didn't say it, but I sure wasn't ready for today either!

Starlight finally shook it off, teleported me to her, and then teleported me, Spike, Sunburst, and herself in some bushes outside of Sunburst's house.

The three love-crazed Princesses ran out of the house and turned their heads back and forth, trying to see if they could spot where we went.

"Where did he go?" Did you see, sister? Cadance?"

"No, I didn't see, sister."

"I didn't either. Did they get away?"

"For now, they did. But I'll find my little Sunshine, and this could be an opportunity, my sister and niece."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Cadance, Instead of the three of us just argue over who gets Eric, how about if we settle it this way: whoever catches him first, gets him as her boyfriend?"

"Ah yes, that's a good idea, sister! What says you, Cadance?"

"Yeah, I like it too, and this is the Crystal Empire, so it's like I have home-field advantage!"

"So, deal?"

Both Cadance and Luna said, "Deal!" and all three went in a different direction to try to find me.

Hiding in the bushes with Starlight, Spike, and Sunburst, I said, "Uh, Starie? I'm starting to get a little scared here. Not even you can keep this up much longer against three Alicorns!"

"Don't worry, Buggie. They're not heading towards us, so we got some time to reverse the spell, and we're so close to learning how to do it."

Spike suggested, "Well, you and Sunburst should get to work, fast, before they come back and see Eric, or before some other mare grabs him!"

Sunburst crept out of the bushes, and went in his house first. This is so that, if one of the princesses came, he could tell them I went in a direction that's not toward the bushes the rest of us was hiding in to make them leave again.

After Sunburst was inside, and we didn't see any signs of the Princesses, Starlight, Spike, and I began to come out the bush too. But as I was about halfway out, I yelped as a Unicorn yanked me backward from the bush with magic, and behind a house near Sunburst's. Who was it this time?!

"Hi! I bet you weren't expecting me to come, were you, cutie?"

This was getting beyond ridiculous! The mare that had me in her magical grip, with her forelegs around me, giving "the smile" and eye bat (even better than Cadance) and kissed me on the lips, was none other than...Sunset Shimmer. Yes, the Sunset Shimmer, in her pony form. What made her come?! I found myself not just wiping my mouth, but spitting a bit and was out of breath. Why? Because not only did Sunset kiss me the longest, at ten seconds, but she did something the other mares didn't when they kissed me on the lips: This Unicorn used tongue!

"S-Sunset? Is that you? What are you doing here?!"

"Why do you think? It's because you're here! And if you're gonna get the 'Royal Treatment' then it should be by me!"

That confused me, and I asked, "But, why you? No offense, and it's not like you don't deserve to be a princess or anything, but you're still a Unicorn, Sunset. I thought only Alicorns can be princesses?"

Sunset rolled her eyes up, thinking, and brought them back down to me. "Well, let's just pretend I am an Alicorn right now, cutie, and I should've gotten Alicorn wings after the Friendship Games anyway! Now give me another kiss!"

I'll be honest with you guys: if Sunset didn't have to change back to her pony form in Equestria, I would enjoy this. I mean, in her human form, Sunset Shimmer isn't just cute, she's hot! But with her in her pony form, it's no less weird than with any other mare kissing me.

After putting up with mares chasing and grabbing me so much, I was finally at my limit, and I yelled, "Will you let me go, Sunset Shimmer?! I don't want to kiss you!"

Starlight lost track of me when Sunset pulled me away from that bush with her magic, but when she heard me yell at Sunset, Starie came running to where we were, and teleported me to her. "Sunset, leave him alone! He said he doesn't want to kiss you! And why are you here, anyway?"

But Sunset just pulled me right back to her with her magic. "I'm here for this cutie, Starlight! I know we're friends and all, but this man doesn't need a marefriend, he needs a girlfriend!"

Starlight shook her head. "No, it's not like that, Sunset! I don't think about him like that, he's like my brother!"

"In that case, can you leave us alone? I have some work to do here."

Oh, boy, Sunset really did it there. Something about the way Sunset said that, plus with how Starlight was already so stressed to begin with at this point, triggered my big sister. Starlight entered not "Big sister" mode, but into the less common "Overprotective big sister" mode. She took a few steps forward, yanked me away from Sunset with her magic to her, braking Sunset's magical grip on me in the process.

"Hey, hey, HEY! Don't you talk like he's just something for you to 'do', Sunset! Did you forget that I said he's like my brother?! Leave him alone!"

Sunset pulled me away from Starlight and to her again with her magic. "Oh, come on, Starlight, Just give me a minute with him! I need to Sunshim my man here!"

My eyes widened to their limits so fast when I heard Sunset say that, my eyelids were hurting! That was not happening! Especially NOT OUTSIDE!!

Starlight pulled me back to her. "Sunset, I said leave my brother alone! I'm serious!"

Sunset took me back. "Okay, I won't Sunshim him. So all I'll do is just kiss this cutie, I promise! Just one more little kiss!"

Starlight gritted her teeth, walked right up to Sunset's face, and pulled me to her yet again. But this time, once big sis Starie got me beside her, she wrapped a foreleg around and held me to her tightly, so Sunset couldn't pull me away again. "Sunset Shimmer, this is your last warning. if you don't leave my little brother alone right now, I'll knock you back through that portal from here!!"

Before Sunset could respond, we saw Princess Celestia running toward us, but still a good distance away, so she couldn't make out it was us, yet. For some reason, seeing her made Sunset frown, and she got really nervous. Turning away, she quickly said, "Okay you win, Starlight I'll leave Eric alone! Bye!" and that mare ran away, fast, and I don't think it was from Starlight.

Starlight teleported herself, Spike, and me into Sunburst's house, before Celestia could see us. Not sure why she didn't think to just do that in the first place, so Sunset wouldn't have been able to try to Sunshim me! Starie, still in her "Overprotective big sister" mode, was still fuming over Sunset, and having trouble calming herself down.

Stomping around back and forth in Sunburst's house, mad enough for red smoke to start coming out from her horn at any moment, Starlight angrily muttered, "I can't believe she talked about you like that, Buggie, like you're just a...thing! Ooh, just wait till I see her again...!"

Sunburst didn't see Sunset out there, and while watching Starlight stomp around, he asked her, "What do you mean, Starlight? Who did what?"

Spike, standing beside me, reminded, "Wait, Starlight! You said that spell make mares act a lot more aggressive than they usually do, right? So that might not have been her fault!"

"Well, yeah, Spike, but still, she--"

I took a few steps towards Starlight, and slowly moved my hands up and down in a "calm down" motion, to try to calm her down. "I get why you're still so mad, and I'd be furious too if it were the other way around. But she didn't mean any of that stuff she said to me, and you know she's not really like that, right? So just try to calm down, for me? Please, Starie?"

No matter how mad Starlight might get, whenever she hears me ask her to calm down for me, as long as I wasn't the one that made her mad, and especially if I ask her using the nickname I gave her, she always does. Starlight took a deep breath, and she was finally able to calm herself down. She then turned to Sunburst. "Well, let's get back to trying to find a way to reverse my spell."

But before they could, Celestia, Luna, and Cadance all came through and broke Sunbrust's door, and yelled at the same time, "There he is! I win! No, I win!"

The chaos just kept getting worse. More mares were coming to the door, yelling my name. Including the three Princesses, there might've been over twenty of them out there!

Starlight saw this and, with her lips in a flat horizontal line that could be meme-worthy, teleported herself, Spike, Sunburst, and I back outside, in a bush that's farther away than the one we were in when Sunset "found" me. Thinking about all the mares that were in front of Sunburst's house, some probably going in, looking for me, the four of us groaned loudly and facepalmed/facehoofed.

"Oh, come on! Can we get any kind of break today?!"

"I guess we're just not going to get any breaks today, Spike. This is almost as bad as when I flunked Princess Celestia's Magic School!"

Starlight half-joked, "It's days like these that make me almost wish I did tear that scroll when I had the chance!"

"Can things get any worse?!"

I shouldn't have said that. You never say that!

Now...oh boy...yet another(!) mare decided to show up, and called out from behind us, asking, "Sunburst, what's going on at your place?"

The four of us turned around fast. The good news: This mare didn't want to kiss me, and she wasn't acting like yet another lovesick mare.

The bad news: she was Twilight Sparkle! In all this chaos with lovesick mares, Starlight, Spike, and I forgot that she said she was doing her lectures in the Crystal Empire, and we're finally busted! But she wasn't mad, but confused on what was happening.

"Uh, hi, Twi! What are you doing here?"

"Well, I just got done doing my lectures, and this was where I did them, Buggie, remember? But never mind me; what are you, Spike, and Starlight doing here? You never said anything about wanting to come to the Crystal Empire before I left! And, what's wrong with the Princesses and those mares at Sunburst's? They looked like they're desperate to find somepony!"

Starlight rubbed the back of her head while saying, "Well, Twilight, we, uh...have a problem."

"Yeah, a royal problem, and then some," Spike added.

"Why? What's wrong? Is somepony in trouble?"

Now rubbing the back of his head, Sunburst responded, "Uh, you could say that, Princess Twilight."

Twilight, becoming more alarmed, ran up to us and asked, "Well, what's going on then? Who's in trouble?!"

"We'll tell you, Twi, but first we have to hide me before any more mares see me, and fast! And we'll explain once we do!"

Cadance wouldn't let us go anywhere, as she came around the corner and yelled, "Hey, there you are, sweetie!"

Puzzled, Twilight looked around. "Wait, Cadance? Who are you talking to? Shining Armor isn't here!"

Celestia, Luna, and then all the other mares that were in Sunburst's place came around the corner, one by one, all calling me, either by my actual name, or some kind of pet name, like the "Dreamboat" one that Luna used.

"Okay, seriously, what is going on with the Princesses and those mares? Are they under a spell or something?!"

Starlight and I put on nervous grins, and Starlight answered a bit quietly, "Yeaaaah, they kinda are, Twilight."

"Well, what kind of spell is it?! And who did it?!" Twilight noticed how Starlight and I were grinning, and her eyes locked on us. In a low, angry voice, Twilight asked, "Wait, are you two behind this?"

Before Starlight or I could fess up, all the mares and Princesses suddenly began to sprint to us, or to be more accurate, to me.

Getting really nervous, I reminded, "Uh, Twilight? Starlight? I think this is where you two teleport us out of here. Please?"

But just then, I started glowing blue, and after about three seconds, I suddenly stopped, and the Princesses and the mares with them all fell to the ground. Twilight ran to them and checked on them all. They all seemed to be all right, but were just out cold.

Spike slowly walked up to the mares laying in front of us. "Uh, does anypony know what might've happened?"

I took some steps toward them too. "Hmm, maybe it's because of another side effect?"

Twilight, who was still checking on the mares, quickly turned around to us, when she heard Sunburst say the word "spell". "Wait, what spell are you guys talking about?! Wait, let's just we should go to Sunburst's and confirm that the spell really is over, that everything's back to normal, and tell me about it there."

We went back to Sunburst's place, Twilight and Starlight used their magic to fix his door, then explained to Twilight all that happened. And yeah, she was not happy, but the Princess of Quiet Rage didn't want to lay into Starlight and me yet. Twilight first wanted to make sure the spell really was over and that there are no other "side effects". After that, she'd want to explain what happened to every mare that was affected, and have us apologize. Once we were done with all that, we'd go back to her castle. And then the Alicorn would lay into us! Gulp.

We found out that the strength of the "side effect" of the botched spell became stronger as time went on, and by the time we were on the train to the Crystal Empire, it was almost like a male version of a siren call to most mares: it's why the Princesses were able to find me without seeing me first.

The effect even leaked into "Sunset's" world. Because Sunset's true form is an Equestrian mare, it affected and made her go through the portal to Equestria, she was even on the train with Starlight, Spike and me when we went to the Crystal Empire, but stayed out of sight. And you know what happened when that Unicorn finally made her move on me later on; and almost got herself knocked halfway through Equestria by another overprotective Unicorn. The spell became so strong, it ended itself, making every mare affected pass out, and me glowing just now was it ending.

First, after they woke up, we explained everything to the Princesses and the other mares that were with them. They weren't too mad -- mostly just really embarrassed -- but Celestia was not only not mad, but she even thought the whole thing was kinda amusing. Heh, MLP fans don't call her "Trollestia" for nothing! But she did order Starlight to never do that kind of spell again.

After that, Twilight, Starlight, Spike and I said good-bye to Sunburst, and we got on a train back to Ponyville. Sunset was on the train too to head back through the portal to "her" world, so we explained to her why she acted like she did and apologized to each other. Since Sunset was back to her usual kind-hearted self, she felt bad about what she did, and she apologized to both Starlight and me twice. And Starlight wasn't mad at her anymore.

Back in Ponyville, Sunset split off from us to go through the portal, while Twilight, Starlight and I went to every mare that was affected, explained what happened, and to tell them sorry. Spike didn't have to come along, and Twilight wasn't mad at him at all (lucky Dragon) but he came with us on his own accord.

After Bon Bon and Lyra, the last two we explained everything and apologized too, walked away (holding hooves for some reason) Twilight glared right at Starlight and me. "Okay, Starlight, Mini-Starlight, let's go back to the castle, so we can have a talk."

Big Starlight and I gulped hard and, along with Spike, we followed the Princess of Silent Fury back to the castle, like two kids/foals in trouble following their mom. Starlight leaned to me and whispered, "Eric, unless things are serious, never ask me to cast spells like that on you again!"

I whispered back, "Oh, don't worry, Starlight, I won't!"

Twilight would later truly understand why I wanted to do a spell to make me forget about the weirdness I went through that previous week. She would even apologize to me again for it, even though it wasn't her fault. And it's not like she's never made mistakes with spells, or made...questionable decisions with them.

However, that would've been after the Princess of Lectures chewed Starlight and me out. Once she had the two of us back in the castle, that Alicorn let us have it during the longest, loudest lecture of our lives! I can't believe I'm saying it, but before she was finally finished with us, I was thinking that I liked it better when Twilight was still the Princess of Romance.

Remember when I said I didn't care about how bad it could backfire, if I asked Starlight about any spells to make me forget the weirdness of my friends hitting on me the week before? Well, me and my big mouth!

However we couldn't find out what the "real" effect of the spell Starlight did was, since mares chasing after me were because of a side effect to it. Whatever it was, Twilight thought it was just something minor, and it should've worn off anyway when I stopped glowing.

And one last thing. Trixie told me what she meant by that "Greatest Show of My Life" she wanted to give me when she was affected by that spell on me: she was just talking about a normal magic show, but with the magic tricks she's best at doing.

Author's Note

In case you didn't know about it, there's a theory of Sunset and Sunburst possibly being related, but from what I personally know, as I'm writing this, it's not confirmed if they are or not. For this reason, to avoid the risk of "breaking canon" if they really are related, I made sure that Sunburst and Sunset didn't see each other in this story, and why no one said Sunset's name in front of Sunburst.