Hello Sonic and Shadow,

I have a request of you, and it would be in your best interest to cooperate. Aside from this letter, inside the envelope you have received a special set of equipment to carry out the task being asked of you. Listed below are a precise set of instructions which you are to adhere to at all times during this operation.

Now perhaps you are wondering what exactly is being asked of you in the first place. Your task is very simple: assassinate the two co-ruling princesses of Equestria, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. You are not to question the motive, nor should you even consider reporting this letter as I will know. Now, let us move forward.

1. I don't care how the fuck you do it, just go and kill Princess Celestia and Luna. If you can, Princess Cadence as well, but that's up to you.

Simple, no? And don't you even fucking think about saying no because I will fuck you. Also I have pictures of that time you two mutually masturbated in public when you thought no one was watching, you dirty little whores. Bet you didn't know when you ejaculated, your semen landed on that colt on the other side of the bushes. I bet you turned him gay too, you fuckers.

Now go kill the princesses and maybe I'll give you two quick deaths. Death to the gays.

"What the hell!?" shouted Shadow the Hedgehog. "How did anyone know we were masturbating in the forest?" He pointed a gloved finger accusingly at his partner, Sonic. "You said you checked!" He put his head in his hands, letting out a frustrated sigh.

The blue-haired hedgehog stared back at him for a moment as though he couldn't comprehend what had just happened. Nonetheless, he put a comforting hand on Shadow's shoulder, which was shrugged off roughly. "It'll be okay, man," said Sonic. "This is probably just an empty threat."

Shadow glared at Sonic. "No, the letter was pretty specific. Someone caught us with our dicks in our hands ejaculating outside, and now we're being blackmailed."

"That doesn't have to be a bad thing!" exclaimed Sonic. "Maybe these ponies just need to loosen up an-- OH FUCK, STOP!" Sonic closed his legs as Shadow grabbed hold of his micropenis and teased the sensitive head.

"Now are you fucking listening?" the dark hedgehog asked. "This isn't a joke, Sonic." He took a deep breath, staring at hole through the floor. "I... I don't think we have a choice."

"Did I just hear that right? You want to take on a mission to go assassinate the two co-rulers of Equestria, which by the way is the amazing land they were kind enough to let us live in, just because we got caught jerking off?" Sonic threw his hands in the air. "We don't even know if they have evidence!" At that very moment, there was a knock on the door. The two hedgehogs exchanged a look of fear.

Shadow grabbed Sonic by the wrist and shoved him forward. "Get it, you wuss!" He nodded to the door. Sonic stumbled, dragging his feet on the ground.

"You owe me for this," he said as he cracked open the door and peeked out. Standing outside was the friendly grey delivery pony who passed by their neighbourhood often. "Hi Derpy," he greeted with a smile. The pony smiled back at him.

"Hi, are you Suck Dick?" she asked. Her eyes seemed to float random in all directions, and Sonic found it very hard to concentrate on what she was saying.

"Huh? Oh yeah, that's me," he said absentmindedly. The mare's eyes lit up.

"Great, I have an envelope for Suck Dick and Shit Hole the hedgehogs!" With that, she tossed it to the blue-haired hedgehog who was still getting lost in those intriguing eyes.

"That's great," he said with a shake of his head. "Thank you." The pony tipped hat hat in response before flying away. Sonic watched as she drifted to one side and smashed her head into a large tree. This place is never boring. I don't want to leave!

"Gimme that!" Shadow snatched the envelope out of Sonic's hands as soon as he turned around. Tearing it open, he couldn't help but gasp at what he saw. Sonic looked at him, and his expression was frozen with a mix of horror, rage, and embarrassment.

"What is it, man?" asked Sonic, walking over to get a peak at whatever was so surprising. "WHAT THE FUCK?" he shouted. It was a stack of high quality photos. Specifically, they were pictures of Sonic and Shadow sitting behind a bush with penis in hand just like the letter said. Milky white fluid was shooting in the air from both of them, and their eyes were closed and mouths open, caught in the raptures of orgasm.

Shadow smashed a fist into a desk, cursing as his knuckles exploded in pain. "I'll fucking kill them!"

Sonic put a soothing hand on his friend's shoulder though he wasn't feeling very calm himself. "Don't worry, dude. We just have to figure out a plan," he said, looking up thoughtfully. "Any ideas?"

Shadow looked at him like he had just fucked a filly. "You dumb bitch, we don't have any options!" he snapped, kneeing Sonic in the nuts for emphasis, who immediately doubled over in pain and rolling on the floor. For good measure, Shadow pulled down Sonic's pants and grabbed hold of his penis.

"OUCH, you just kicked me there!" screamed Sonic, trying to cover himself with his hands.

"And now I'm making it better," replied Shadow, stroking up and down along the shaft of his friend's penis, teasing the tip. Before Sonic knew it, he was moaning and approaching his climax.

"HNNNNNNNGG!!!" Sonic let out a feral cry as his penis exploded in white hot pleasure, feeling his semen being drained as Shadow milked out every last drop. Sonic lay on his back with his eyes closed, panting. "So what's the plan man?" he asked, finally back on Earth after his earth shattering orgasm.

"We go kill some princesses you dumb fuck"

Author's Note

hiiiii everypony!!! i am EXTREMLY excited to announce my very first series ever!! i have been writing many one shots for a while now and i think i hav fiiiinally improved enough to write a more complex piece!!! plz let me know what u think of this in the comments section below and have a beautiful day everypony!