It’s a beautiful goddamn day in Equestria.
Not that this surprises you in the slightest. Just about every day in this place is nice. The whole “ponies control the weather” thing probably plays a factor in it. If people controlled the weather back home, you’re damn sure just about every day would be sunny. Well, except for the necessary rain to keep plants alive. There sure as hell wouldn’t be any snow. Nobody wants to shovel that shit.
It’s rare for Thorax to still be sleeping at 11 AM. The goof is often up not long after the sun rises, doing some sort of royal business or whatever. Today’s a different story though. Some big issue came up at Twilight’s castle, and you didn’t even hear his big dumb hooves walk in until about 2 in the morning. You have no clue what he was doing so late, but you suppose you can give him a pass to sleep this late. Besides, it’s given you a nice opportunity to get to know some of his other friends a bit better.
Honestly, you feel a little guilty about not getting to know any of the other changelings too well since you arrived, but hey, you deserve a break. It takes a little while to get used to living in a new place by itself. You’ve got that going on, plus the fact that you’re learning to live as an entirely different species. And then once you were mostly used to it, you found yourself spending a good chunk of your downtime snuggled up with Thorax, and that sure as hell took some getting used to as well. You never thought that you’d not only be comfortable with snuggling with a guy, but look forward to it every day as well. And yet here you are.
So yeah. Friends with other changelings. Happening right now. Hell yeah.
“So tell us more about this place you came from!” Cornicle insists. You’ve regaled her and Tarsus over there with what feels like a thousand stories about your homeland, and yet she never gets bored. She seems like a real nice little bug. Cute too, if you could be completely honest. You wouldn’t mind snuggling with her, but there’s a time and place for everything. Besides, the King might get jealous that his new snuggle buddy wants to snuggle elsewhere.
“Oh, give him a break,” Tarsus laughs. “He’s been telling us stories all morning!” Tarsus is a good dude, but a little short on attention span. He’s barely paid much attention to all the amazing and interesting stories you’ve been telling them about the big rectangles that show moving pictures without the use of magic and the smaller rectangles that let you talk to people from miles away. This is gold and he couldn’t care less, the ingrate. That’s why it’s Cornicle that you’re allowing to sit right next to you on the couch and not him. Also the whole cute thing.
“But I want to hear more!” Cornicle whines. You can’t help but chuckle and give her a pat on the head, which she really seems to like. Surprise surprise, changelings like tactile displays of affection. You didn’t need all the hours spent curled up against Thorax’s underbelly to learn that–not that you’re complaining about it.
“Well, little lady,” you say to the changeling who is pretty much exactly your size. “If it’s more stories you want, then it’s more stories I’ll tell. Did I tell you the one about the greatest human actor of all time?”
“No!” Cornicle replies, hanging on your every word. “Tell us!” Tarsus just rolls his eyes and smirks before coming back and sitting down nearby.
“Since you asked so nicely...” you say, giving her a little smile before starting to prattle on. “He started on a show called Saturday Night Live, but his breakout movie role was in a movie called Billy Madison...”
Shut up, he’s good when he tries. Click was better than most people give it credit for, and maybe Jack and Jill was pretty bad, but it still displays his ability to–
Your Sandler-infested thoughts are interrupted by a quiet yawn as Thorax walks into the room. He looks like he’s barely awake as he stand in the doorway and rubs his eyes with a hoof.
“One moment, Anon!” Cornicle says, giving your shoulder a little tap before she and Tarsus slide off of the couch and move to greet their king. You roll your eyes and smirk as you get up to join them. The changelings, even the ones who are close friends with Thorax like these two, are always so reverent towards their king. You know you wouldn’t have been like that if your president showed up in front of you, regardless of who that president was. You consider leaving them to their greetings, but you wouldn’t mind greeting the big lug this morning yourself.
“Good morning, Thorax!” Cornicle chirps.
“Good morning, Cornicle,” Thorax replies. Then he leans down to get face-to-face with her. You watch, surprised, as the two share a gentle kiss on the lips.
You definitely wouldn’t have done that for any president.
You’re pretty sure that’s a small twang of jealousy you’re feeling as you watch the two smooch. You had no idea that these two had this kind of relationship, having thought that they were good friends and nothing more. So much for that idea of asking her to dinner.
“Good morning, Thorax!” Tarsus says.
“Good morning, Tarsus,” Thorax replies. And then you watch as he does the exact same thing, meeting Tarsus in a little smooch.
Okay, it makes a little more sense now that you look at it in perspective. Maybe this is just a thing that changelings do with each other. Things clearly work differently here, as you learned once you and Thorax began your daily snuggling routine. Maybe this is just the normal greeting between Thorax and these two. You’re left pondering this as you watch Thorax approach you next. He regards you with what looks like a look of mild surprise, before smiling warmly.
“Good morning, Anon,” Thorax says.
“Morning, Thor,” you respond.
You’ve never called him Thor before, even though it’s not the worst nickname in the world. You’ve never even considered it, and it certainly wasn’t your intent to do so today. The primary reason for you cutting his name short as such is the fact that his big green face is rapidly approaching yours, lips pursed and ready for kissing. Time seems to move in slow motion as that face zooms in, like some sort of air-to-mouth missile loaded with affection. You’re left with just enough time to duck out of the way before you are forcibly smooched.
“Dude, what the actual fuck?” you exclaim as Thorax tilts his head in confusion. Cornicle and Tarsus gasp at the display of foul language, but you’ve got bigger concerns at the moment.
“I thought you wanted a good morning kiss,” Thorax says simply. “I mean, you were lined up there with Cornicle and Tarsus, and I know that’s what they were waiting for.”
“I was just coming to say good morning!” you spit back. “If I want a kiss, I’ll ask for it!”
“Do you want a kiss?” Thorax asks. This time, it’s clearly not a matter of him missing the boat with his remark. That cheeky smile makes it 100% clear that he knows exactly what he’s doing.
“No!” you shout.
“Oh, but Thorax is an excellent kisser!” Cornicle pipes up.
“Oh yes,” Tarsus agrees. “His lips are some of the softest mine have ever touched.” You simply roll your eyes in response.
“Let me guess,” Thorax says. “You and your friends back home didn’t kiss each other either?”
“Hell no!” you exclaim. “Why would we?”
“It’s another nice way of showing love for each other,” Thorax tells you. “If I remember correctly, you said the same exact thing about snuggling before I convinced you to try it, and now I can barely keep you away from cuddling up with me and being the cutest snugglehorse ever.”
You blush intensely as Cornicle and Tarsus share a little chuckle at your expense. You shoot them a look, and Cornicle gives you a little wink.
“I didn’t know you liked to snuggle so much!” Cornicle says. “I would have asked you to snuggle long ago!” Tarsus nods his agreement, and your annoyed pout softens, yet only slightly. Snuggling with Cornicle doesn’t sound like such a bad idea...
“I’m sure kissing will be the same,” Thorax says, as one of his hooves touches your cheek and turns your head to face him again. “Please? One kiss, and if you hate it, then I’ll never ask you to do it again.”
You stare daggers at Thorax, though the daggers aren’t quite as sharp as possible. You already liked the big lug, and your daily sessions of being his personal snuggle pet have done a good deal to raise your affection towards him. That stupid green face smiles eagerly at you, and even though you’re not crazy about the idea at all, you can feel your resolve weakening as you think about how much this seems to matter to Thorax and how happy it would make him.
The things you do for bugs.
“One kiss,” you grumble. “And that’s it.”
It’s like the reaction you got from Thorax when you agreed to snuggle for the first time, but multiplied by three as Cornicle and Tarsus also look quite happy at your acquiescence. Not quite as happy as your soon-to-be kissing king over here, but happy nonetheless.
“And you can’t just sit there,” Thorax says. “You have to kiss back or it doesn’t count.”
“You sound like a grade schooler,” you mumble. “Let’s just get this over with.”
The giddy king nods with a smile. “Give me a kissyface~”
You glare at him so hard that ponies the next town over can probably feel it.
“What is it with you and goofy terms for this kind of stuff?” you ask him. He giggles, then begins to lean down once more. To the surprise of exactly no one, you’re hesitant. You’re about to kiss a dude, of course you’re goddamn hesitant. But you already told him you’d do it, and a bro doesn’t give his bro his word and then take it back. It’s just one kiss, you rapidly remind yourself. It’ll be over in a matter of seconds, and then you’ll never have to do it again.
You lean forward ever so slightly and purse your lips, eyes closed. You’re not quite sure why you’re closing your eyes, but it just feels appropriate. You feel the warmth on your muzzle that you could only assume is Thorax’s breath, and then a set of puckered lips makes light contact with yours.
As that webcomic you always used to read back home might say: “where doing it man. where MAKING THIS HAPEN.”
Thorax’s kiss is quite gentle, unsurprisingly. Everything about the guy seems to be soft and tender. Yet there’s still a slight insistence behind their push. If you could hazard a guess, you’d bet that he’s been wanting to do this for a little while now. You’re distracted by so many things right now, the foremost of which is that you’re kissing a dude. But the softness of his lips also makes an impression on your mind. Your last experience with kissing was back in your own world, and it feels like it was ages ago. It was with a girl, of course, and you can almost remember the feeling of her lips on your own.
As far as you can recall, that girl’s lips somehow did not feel as soft as the lips caressing your own right now, and coming to terms with that is intensely difficult for you. Although in a way, it makes sense. Changelings are meant to dine on love. Of course their various body parts would likely be better evolved for sappiness. The perfect romantic predators, bred for intimacy and affection.
“I’m not pulling away until you kiss back,” Thorax says out of the corner of his mouth, in that usual playful tone of his. The way his lips vibrate and undulate against yours as he speaks threatens to keep you from reacting as requested, but you keep your wherewithal and push your lips back into his.
“Mwah!”
The exaggerated noise that Thorax makes causes your cheeks to color brighter, yet brighter as his kiss tugs at your lips. Then, before you know it, he’s pulled away, leaving you with the faint phantom feeling of his lips still on yours. He stares at you with that goofy smile, a mixture of pride and joy on his face, but tinted with the slightest bit of uncertainty. It’s as if he’s trying to read your expression, and you do your best to keep it neutral.
You do not want him to know how much you enjoyed that.
The idea of being secretive about it seems strange to you, naturally. You want him to be happy because he’s your bro, and telling him that you liked kissing him would certainly make him happy. But your stubborn pride is pushing through to color your decisions. You don’t want to go all head over heels over what just went on, because...well, you don’t entirely know why. Because you made a big fuss about it? Sure, let’s go with that.
“So?” Thorax asks. “What did you think? I’ll be happy to give you another one if you liked it.”
“No fair!” Cornicle insists. “I want another kiss too!”
“Me too!” Tarsus chimes in.
“Okay, okay,” Thorax laughs. “We can all have a nice little kiss-off with each other! But it depends on how Anon feels about the one he got already, because I’m not going to force him.”
You pause. If you just admit that you liked the kiss, you could be smooching on Cornicle next. You always were the prideful type, though, even in situations that didn’t benefit from it. You turn your attention back to Thorax. Lying to that face is going to be tough, but you’re a tough guy. A tough guy who likes to snuggle daily with another guy and can’t get the feeling of his silky soft lips tenderly kissing yours out of your head, but a tough guy nonetheless.
“I didn’t hate it,” you say. “But I wasn’t looking to do it again.”
So it was only a partial lie. You couldn’t bring yourself to claim that you hated it. There’s a difference between simply lying and crushing a bro’s feelings. Cornicle and Tarsus look disappointed, while Thorax looks mildly surprised.
“Oh?” Thorax asks. Then he gives you kind of a half smile. “Oh well. I’m glad you didn’t hate it, at least.”
You nod, smiling awkwardly. You did not hate it. Oh God, you did not hate it. You want to feel it again, to let him smooch you like kissies were your only form of sustenance. Sucks that you’re so stubborn, huh? At least he wasn’t offended.
“Does this mean the kiss-off is cancelled?” Cornicle asks. The cute lil’ bug sounds crestfallen.
“Maybe we can reschedule,” Thorax responds, giving her a wink. “I’ve barely woken up, after all.” He gives the three of you a warm smile, then heads off towards the kitchen. He quickly glances to you before exiting. You try not to stare at those lips too much, lest you spend too much time imagining them on your own again. “Are we still on for snuggling at 1:00, Anon?”
“Yeah, sure,” you respond. He gives another smile and departs. The other two are in your face almost instantly.
“You really didn’t want to kiss him more?” Tarsus asks. The way he says it, with that degree of confusion in his voice, you’d think he was a child that just heard Santa wasn’t real.
“Nnnope,” you respond. Lying to him isn’t as hard as lying to Thorax, though he’s a pretty good dude too.
“But he’s the greatest kisser ever!” Cornicle exclaims. You want to say that you’re up to the task of proving her wrong, but it doesn’t feel like an appropriate time to suggest such a thing.
“Don’t know what to tell you,” you tell her.
“The only way it could possibly make sense...” Cornicle begins, tapping a hoof to her chin. “Is that you just don’t like kissing in general?”
Hold up.
“That’s really a shame...” she continues. “I’m still in the mood for a kiss or two...Tarsus?”
Your brain screams at you to interrupt, but you’re not quick enough.
“Oh, sure!” Tarsus says with a smile. “We’ll talk to you later, okay Anon?” He leans in and gives Cornicle a little kiss before the two walk out of the room.
“Fuck me,” you grunt.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Aren’t you going to join me?”
You’ve been standing there and staring at Thorax for a few moments now, clearly enough for him to notice. He’s in that frustratingly cute snuggle-ready pose that you’re so used to seeing by now, and typically you’re cuddled up to his chest within moments of that happening. Moments have passed, though, and you’re yet to give yourself to him and feel that tiny neck balloon against your chin. Or sometimes your forehead, if you’re feeling particularly small and snuggly that day.
Yeah, just...” you start. It’s quickly evident that you had no good ending for that sentence.
“Just what?” Thorax asks. He sits up a bit, clearly concerned. Curse that bug, being so sweet and caring. It only makes you feel that much worse about lying to him before. Why couldn’t he have just gotten angry at your refusal to kiss him more? That would have it a whole lot easier to not care about it, albeit also coming with the likely caveat of no snuggle session. Part of you wants to just dive onto him and beg his forgiveness, and to let him kiss you as much as he pleases. And yet you refrain. Stupid stubborn pride.
“Nothing,” you say, taking a breath. You step forward and climb onto the bed, and Thorax gives you a smile as he spreads his legs to welcome you.
That sure is a sentence.
You wriggle up Thorax’s body, nuzzling up from just below the border between green chitin and orange peach fuzz until your chin is resting on that neck balloon. Thorax coos quietly to you and wraps all four legs around you, pressing your bodies together and holding you in his tender embrace.
With how sweet and saccharine this whole thing is, you can’t help but wonder why you don’t just accept the whole kissing thing. Pride is a weird thing.
“There you go, all comfy,” Thorax whispers to you as he strokes your head. You wrap your forelegs around him and rub that cool, smooth shell as you try to forget your earlier issues and just drift off to sleep. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t take too long for that to happen.
And then it doesn’t take much longer than that for you to suddenly awaken as Thorax’s hooves pull your head up from his chest.
“Whuh...?” you mumble, too groggy to be coherent. The sight before your eyes, however, is enough to knock some sense into you. Instead of being met with Thorax’s smiling mug, it’s the face of a ferocious bear that glares back at you, eyes red and, presumably, hungry.
“What the fuck?” you exclaim, scooting backwards as much as the grip around your midsection will allow.
“What’s wrong?” the bear growls. It’s got Thorax’s voice, but there’s a noticeable bass to it, enough to rumble and reverberate hauntingly in your ears. “Don’t like my bear hugs either?” His grip on you grows tighter still, and you can just barely feel razor-sharp claws on your back.
“Dude...this isn’t funny,” you say, trying your best to keep your voice from shaking. “Come on, bro...change back and calm down, alright?”
“Calm down?!” Thorax Bear–Bearax?–roars back, forcefully enough to spray spittle all over your face. “How can I possibly be calm after what you’ve done?!” His grip is now threatening to compress your ribcage, and those vicious claws feel like they’re only the slightest bit of pressure away from puncturing your skin.
“What did I do?” you squeak. Your bravado is starting to fade as you try and fail to fight your fear back.
“Why couldn’t you just be honest with me?!” Bearax shouts. Your face pales, and you try to respond, but the hold he’s got on you has made it difficult to do such a thing, and all you can do is gasp.
“All you had to do was admit you liked it!” Bearax growls. “I thought I could trust you!” His jaw opens wide, impossibly so, and you squeal in fear as you get a good look at those sharp fangs. His acrid breath would cause your eyes to tear if they weren’t already doing so. You try again to respond, if not to calm him down then at least to cry out for help, but you can’t force a single bit of air out. Just as those jaws are inches from your face and you’re all but certain of your doom, a flash of white light is visible from the corner of your eye.
“Enough!”
A beam of white energy pierces through Bearax, and you watch in horror as the creature dissipates. You look to the source of the light, eyes watering as the fact that you are not going to die battles the sight of your friend being slain, when you see an instantly-recognizable midnight blue form.
“Oh thank fuck, it’s a dream...” you mutter, trying to regain your composure. Then you realize that you just cursed in front of Princess Luna. “Sorry.”
“It’s quite alright, little one,” Luna responds, walking up to you. “I can understand your inability to pay attention to proper verbiage towards royalty after the nightmare you’ve just experienced.” Her starry mane billows freely, despite the lack of a breeze. It’s cool as shit. You find yourself wishing your mane could do that, and since this is a dream, it starts flowing almost instantly.
“Cute,” Luna says, giving you a gentle smile.
“Thanks,” you respond. Then you sit up properly. “And, uh, thanks for saving me, I guess? Kinda didn’t feel like being murdered, even if it was in a dream. And I’m not sure if that whole ‘die in a dream, die in real life’ thing is true or not.”
“Honestly, why do so many ponies believe that?” Luna asks, rolling her eyes. “With how often ponies have nightmares, that would be terribly hazardous.”
“Yeah, pretty much,” you reply.
The two of you stare at each other for a few moments. Awkward.
“Are you not going to ask me why I’m here?” Luna finally inquires, giving you a bemused smirk.
“It wasn’t just to save my dream life?” you ask. The Princess of the Night chuckles quietly. Why does royalty in this world chuckle at you so often?
“There’s more to it than that,” Luna replies. She turns around and has a seat next to you on the bed. You try not to stare at her rump as she turns. You fail. What the heck were you supposed to do, with how big it is?
“Please stop thinking inappropriate thoughts about my hindquarters,” Luna says simply, although the grin on her face shows that she’s not terribly offended.
“I can’t make any promises,” you reply. She seems to appreciate your cheekiness, if the way she pats you on the back is any indication.
“I would have expected you to have somepony else’s rump on your mind,” Luna teases. “Somepony whose rump is significantly greener.” You blush furiously, and she gives you a wink. “Come now, don’t try to deny it. You’re fond of him, I can tell.”
“It’s just casual displays of affection!” you insist. “He says that changelings do that kind of thing all the time!”
“He tells the truth,” Luna responds. “And truth is the reason I am here. If you were not as fond of him as I believe you to be, would your guilt over lying to him earlier truly be this powerful?”
The guilt that was festering in the back of your head over the whole thing quickly flies to the forefront of your mind, and you can’t help but hang your head in shame. Stupid, stupid stubborn pride...
“There, there,” Luna says, placing a comforting hoof on your shoulder. “Thankfully, there is a very easy solution. Just tell him the truth when you awaken. What’s so bad about enjoying a kiss from somepony that you yourself have said you love?”
“I don’t know...” you grumble. “I’m an idiot who’s too proud to admit that he liked smooching a dude, I guess.”
“And yet you’ve just admitted it to me,” Luna says with a wink. “And you’ve been speaking to me for all of five minutes, and have certainly never snuggled up to my chest.”
“We could change that if you want,” you blurt out. The Princess of the Night seems quite amused by your response, and gives you a gentle hug with one foreleg.
“I would not deign to steal you from Thorax,” Luna teases, before her hoof returns to its position in front of her. “Now, you’ve been forward with me about wanting to snuggle. Can you not be forward with Thorax as well?”
You’re silent for a moment. She’s right, and you know it. Lying to Thorax is what got you this worked up. Telling him the truth is obviously the right thing to do. You’re barely cognizant of why you even lied to him in the first place.
“Yeah...I can,” you tell her, giving her an earnest smile. “Thanks, Princess Luna. I was being a bit of a dumbass there.”
“Just a bit,” Luna chuckles. “But that is how we learn, is it not?” Then she stands, wings outstretched. “Fare thee well, Anon. And the best of luck with your confession!” The Princess of the Night takes off into the air, each flap of her powerful wings filling the room you’re in with fog until your entire field of vision is obscured.
And then you’re awake, face still buried in Thorax’s chest. And your mane isn’t flowing anymore. Shame.
You pull your face up from Thorax’s chest, glancing up towards his face. You didn’t expect him to be staring back, but there he is, smiling gently at you.
“Have you been watching me sleep?” you ask.
“Mhm,” Thorax responds. “I was actually worried about you for a bit...you looked like you were having an awful dream. But then you calmed down, and you were back to being cute.”
You blush furiously, and Thorax reaches to poke at your cheek with a hoof. The jerk is so sweet and caring...it’s about time you apologized to him.
“I’m sorry,” you say, because who needs context nowadays.
“Sorry?” Thorax asks, tilting his head to the side. “For what?”
You take a deep breath. This is going to be hard, but you know it has to be done, for the sake of the feelings of that big dumb bug that you want to smooch.
“For lying to you before,” you tell him. “I know I said I didn’t want to kiss you anymore, but I was lying, because I’m a stupid stubborn idiot and didn’t want to give up my pride. But you deserve better than that, and I’m a fucking terrible person for lying to someone who loves me like you do and who I love in return. So...sorry.”
There’s a pause, one that is probably actually pretty short but feels like it goes on for roughly a year and a half. It’s definitely long enough for you to worry that Thorax isn’t going to accept your apology, but you know better than that. He’s not the type not to forgive, and sure enough, he gives you a warm smile.
“I forgive you, Anon,” Thorax tells you, patting your back. “I won’t pretend to understand why you felt the need to lie, but I forgive you. Besides, I knew you were lying.”
“You knew?” you ask.
“Of course,” Thorax answers. “I could taste the love coming from you during the kiss, you know.”
Damn changelings.
“Then why didn’t you call me out on it?” you ask.
“Well...” Thorax starts. “You didn’t say you didn’t like it, just that you didn’t hate it but weren’t looking to do it again. I didn’t want to push you into anything you didn’t want to do. And besides, it’s much more fun hearing you say you want to kiss me, silly.” He gives you a wink, and you can’t help but grin. That sly bug was onto you the entire time and played you like a fiddle. And yet you can’t bring yourself to be upset about it.
“You’re a jerk,” you tell him.
“But you love meee~” he responds.
“Yeah, yeah, I love you,” you laugh. You keep eye contact for a good few moments before your eyes start drifting downwards.
“Did you have something else you wanted to say to me?” Thorax asks playfully. You know exactly what he means, and while you’ve admitted it in theory, you can tell that he wants to hear it straight up. You take a deep breath.
“Thorax,” you say. “I want to ki-“
You don’t even have time to finish the sentence before his lips are on yours. The feeling of those soft lips on yours once more is practically electric, like they were the last piece missing from your life at this very moment. You press back into the kiss, more eagerly than the first one you shared a few hours ago. He pulls away after a moment, but you pursue, reintroducing your lips to his. He seems amused by your insistence and gleefully accepts and returns your affection. The two of you share a number of small pecks, pulling away only for the opportunity to begin anew once more. You feel one of his hooves slip down to gently rub your rump, and you can’t even find it in you to protest, for that would mean ending the peppering of smooches.
What kind of jackass were you to try avoiding this?
The two of you eventually relent, returning to simply looking admirably at each other. Your cheeks are about the reddest they’ve ever been, and judging from what you’re feeling down below, Thorax is probably moments away from teasing you about poking him again. Luckily, he seems to let it slide.
“Do you still want me to finish the sentence?” you ask after a moment, and he laughs.
“I think I get the picture,” he says, letting out a happy sigh. “I’m so glad we could share this.”
“Yeah, me too,” you tell him.
“So I’ll expect to see you lined up for a good morning kiss from now on?” Thorax asks.
“I’ll be right behind Cornicle,” you tell him.
“Good,” he says. “You’ll be well positioned, then, because sometimes she wants a little more after I’m done with her.” He gives you a knowing wink.
You can’t wait for tomorrow morning.
