The Racoon Rises

by MyLittleBronyDude

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sunset Shimmer, Random, Human, Sad, Comedy, Equestria Girls
Length: 1053

It’s an old-timey showdown between Sunset Shimmer vs the racoon in her apartment. Hilarity ensues.

Sunset is having a normal day when she is thrown into a war against a racoon! But things take a turn for the worse when she make sure a startling discovery...

Published 2019-02-05 06:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-05 06:10:01 UTC

The Fight Of The Century

Sunset was walking home from her part time job as a mechanic covered in oil and grime thinking about life. She was thinking about school and if she would ever find one that she could go to that wouldn’t drain her of every single cent that she has and then some. As she walked, a cool breeze blew through the quiet street filled with apartments, taking a few fallen leaves with it. She grabbed the handle and wrenched it open, eager to enter the warm, safe haven of her apartment’s lobby. She took a fleeting glance at the elevator, which still had yellow caution tape all over it, and kept walking, resigning herself to the long walk up 6 flights of stairs to her apartment.

As she trekked up the arduous climb, she thought about her laptop. It was like her safe haven, where she could browse the internet, write stories, or watch funny videos. But the best thing of all is that it has insurance so that if it ever got broken, she could go buy a new one. Despite several rest stops and a brand new stitch in her side, she got to her apartment quite fast. She dug around in her pocket to find her keys, hearing several jingles on the way up knowing that they were in that pocket.

After hunting around in her pockets for five minutes and discovering she had almost a pound of lint in all of her pockets, she found her keys and opened the door. She walked straight through the small kitchen into her bedroom where she jumped on her bed and stared at the ceiling for a full five minutes, ignoring everything around her. She heard a noise coming from the walls and decided to investigate. “Where are you hiding, you little vermin?” As she hunted around, she saw a raccoon sitting on her kitchen table.

“Raccoon!” The chase was on as she ran around after the racoon throwing cushions at it. As she ran she tripped over a chair and banged her shin.

“Ow! Darn it! That stupid raccoon made me bang my shin! Oh, but I’m gonna get him soon. Real soon.” With that she grabbed her baseball bat and started chasing after the furry little raccoon.

“Get back here! I don’t really want to hurt you!” As she lied through her teeth, she thought of how funny this must look. So she decided to grab her camera and start videoing it to post on YouTube.

“Hey everyone! It’s me, Sunset Shimmer, and I am coming back with a comedy video! Today I will be chasing after the raccoon that has decided to inhabit my house and I won-hey, there it is! I am going to catch you and post it on the internet!” She started to run after it holding her camera in one hand and the baseball bat in the other one.

She started to gain on it and swung her bat down fast! The raccoon quickly dodged and ran the other way. When the bat hit the ground it broke through the floor splintering the boards!

She swore under her breath and continued to chase the stupid raccoon. “It’s been ten minutes and I still haven’t laid a finger on that stupid little raccoon! I must get it out of my apartment!”

As she charged at the racoon, baseball bat raised, she let out a war cry that could be heard from space! “I WILL GET YOU RACCOON!”

She ran as fast as she could after the racoon swinging her baseball bat in every direction she could, smashing everything in her path. “This raccoon is the nastiest animal I have ever seen! I wish.” She swung at it. “It would.” She took another swing at it. “Get out of.” She swung once more. “MY HOUSE!” She swung up, and then hard downwards, destroying her floorboards and guaranteeing that the raccoon will be destroyed.

The raccoon ran under her bed and she chased it to her room. She look all over, until finally she looked under her bed and saw the racoon sitting on one of her hoodies with about six little fuzz balls of joy. Also known as baby raccoons. Instantly, her heart melted, and she threw her bat away, no longer needing it, as she only wished to apologise now. “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, little raccoon! If I had known that you had babies, I would have helped you, not tried to kill you! Here, I am going to set things right!” She shoved her bed away, bathing the raccoons and their furry faces in warm, bright light. She picked all of them up and brought them to a big bowl. She then went to the fridge, grabbed some milk and put it in the microwave.

As the microwave whirred and heated up the milk, Sunset ran into her little bedroom and grabbed a blanket. She then proceeded to wrap it around all of the raccoons so they wouldn’t get cold. “There you are, little guys. That should keep you warm.” They snuggled together and Sunset smiled. She knew she was doing the right thing.

At that moment, the microwave started to beep, startling the raccoons. Sunset saw this and rushed over to the microwave to stop it. “Sorry, guys! Anyway, your milk is ready.” She grabbed the milk and poured it into the bowl. Sunset then proceeded to push the bowl towards them.

“Drink up, you furry little rascals! After this, we are headed to the vet to get you checked out.” As soon as they were done, she scooped them up in her arms, blanket and all, and started to walk the eight blocks it was from her little apartment complex to the vet’s house.

When she arrived, she walked up to the secretary and got them checked in. The doctor came out and took them to her examining room. Twenty minutes passed before the doctor came out again. “Well, the good news is that they’re all healthy! Ask my secretary about the prices.”

“Thank you very much!” Sunset walked over and forked up the necessary amount of cash. She began the long trek home, knowing that she had just made a lot of new friends.