Friendship Knight

Chapters

Royal Decree
Call To Arms
Knighted Before The Court
Take Up Arms
Should've Worn A Helmet
Like a Apple Tree
Falling Into Place
A Knight's Call
Knights and Chewing Gum

Royal Decree

Author's Note

Hey everyone thanks for reading this is Tempest needs more love. I’m definitely not the first to make Tempest a guard for Twilight or something but hopefully your like my take on the ideal. Eventually TwilightXTempest but we’ll build up to that. Rated Teen for cursing and the occasional dirty joke not too many though. Just two ponies who suck at flirting. Also this fic was started before the last season so try to ignore any and all contradictions from the last season. Cozy and Tirek will be the biggest change from canon.

Royal Decree

Late at night in the town of Ponyville inside of the school of friendship Twilight sat behind her desk with a mountain of paperwork in front of her. Normally the mare would dive into even the most intimidating peaks of paperwork eager to fulfill her duties as the Princess of Friendship and the headmare of the school. However today the stacks sat untouched and the Princess sat with a sullen expression nursing a cup of the Apple family's hardest cider hoping the alcohol would numb some of her pain. However halfway through the cup she realized she was just heading to a drunken stupor that certainly wouldn’t help her solve any of her problems. With her mind only slightly buzzed from the drank she realized she had only one option to solve this problem but she’d need to be at least somewhat sober. So she sat the cider cup down and lit her horn as her inkwell, quill and some paper floated over to her. Dipping the quill in the ink she sighed a bit embarrassed to have to do this but she needed a solution and cider wasn’t helping her find one. With a sigh she touched the blackened quill to the paper and wrote the familiar words she had written, or had Spike to write to be more accurately, so many times before she earned her wings.

Dear Princess Celestia

It’s been awhile since I wrote you a letter quite like this. Sure we keep in touch but I don’t think I’ve wrote a letter so desperate for your help since before I became a alicorn. I’ve been trying to find a solution for this since it happened but I just can’t find one on my own so I’m hoping you can help. Right now I need you as my mentor once again.

Ever since Cozy Glow took over the school and tried to conquer Equestria with friendship, I can’t help but feel I failed my students and all of Equestria. My friends have told me it’s not my fault, that we all fell for her innocent little filly act but I can’t forgive myself till I know this won’t happen again. That even if I’m called away with a emergency the school will be left in good hooves. Which it is with Starlight but I feel that this proves that, just as I can’t run this school without her help, she can’t run it on her own either. I feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my back that even with my friend’s help, I can’t do it much longer.

I hope you can provide the wisdom I need so desperately right now.

Sincerely Your Friend

Twilight Sparkle

With the letter written she rolled it up and tied it with a ribbon before getting up and walking over to Spike’s room. Upon entering she saw the young dragon fast asleep. The sight of her oldest friend and basically little brother sleeping so soundly brought a smile to her face despite her dower mood. Not wanting wake him but still needing to send the letter she plucked a feather from her wing and brought it down to Spike’s nose tickling him till he sneezed engulfing the letter in green flame. With the letter sent, Twilight headed to her room assuming Celestia would reply in the morning as she passed her office she looked inside noticing the cider.

“Well, I’d hate to waste perfectly good cider.” With her mind at ease knowing in the morning Celestia at least put her on the path to a answer she sat down to polish off her cider.

Starlight Glimmer walked into her counselor office sipping her coffee as she tried to wake up despite the early hour. She had been more busy then normal as many students wanted to talk to her after Cozy Glows betrayal. As she went to sit down she winced as a sharp pain shot through her back, she was still sore from spending hours trapped by Cozy. As she was finishing her coffee a knock came from her door seeing as school had yet to start she knew who it most likely was.

“Come on in”. She said as she signed her name on a form. Sure enough a small dragon came waddling through with papers stacked taller then he was .

“Hey Starlight I got even more papers for you.” Spike said as he almost dropped them multiple times as he attempted to cross the room.

Starlight horn glowed as the papers levitated out of his claws and onto her desk. “Thanks Spike, hey have you seen Twilight I was going to ask if she wanted to go to the spa. I need to get this creak out of my back.”

Spike shook his head “Not since I went to sleep last night. She seemed kinda upset. I think a nice spa trip would do her well”.

Starlight nodded “I’ll she if she’s in her office and ask her.”

Spike gave her a thumbs up as he walked out the room. Right before he made to the door he belched green flames. He reached out to catch the falling letter he knew would be there.

Starlight took the opportunity to stand without Spike seeing her wince “That for Twilight, if so I’ll take it to her.”

Spike took one quick glance at the letter before handing it over. “Yeah, it’s from Princess Celestia. Thanks by the way.”

“Your welcome” She replied as he walked through the door alongside him before the two spit heading off in different directions.

As Starlight came to the door to Twilight’s room she knocked after a few minutes of silence she knocked again, and a third time with still no reply. Starlight began to worry, Twilight was almost always in her office at this time going over lesson plans or balancing the school’s budget. Starlight cast a quick spell that would detect any living thing in the room. Sure enough she detected somepony sitting at the desk. With growing concern for her friend Starlight charged up a magical blast before firing it at the door blasting it clean off the hinges, and charged inside the office.

“Twilight, are you ok!” She yelled to her friend before pausing at the sight before her. Twilight sat at her desk fast asleep. This, while rare, was not unheard of. Twilight had worked till she has passed out at her desk before but as Starlight looked around the scene in front of her it became clear that wasn't the case here. The papers the young alicorn meticulously organized were scattered about. The curtains were hanging by only one side and multiple chairs were turned over. The bookshelf was bare it’s contents were instead laid out into a makeshift stage with a curtain rod sticking up at a angle. Tankards laid scattered about the, a few with a couple of drops of cider in them, others had their contents spilled out on staining the rug. And at the desk sat the regal princess of friendship drool leaking out of her mouth undoubtedly ruining the paper under her head. She was wearing lace lingerie made by Rarity judging by the craftsmanship and socks that went up to her thighs. Of course no royalty would be complete without their crown however Twilight seemed to be under the opinion that in a pinch a lampshade would work just as well as it hung awkwardly off her horn.

Starlight burst out laughing before teleporting a camera to her and taking a picture of Twilight. Teleporting the camera along with a new picture for her friendship scrapbook she began thinking how best to wake up the sleeping alicorn. The nice thing to do would be to gently ease the purple pony from her dreams, that would also be the boring thing to do so instead Starlight levitated a copy of the ‘Equestrian Guide to Magical Terminology Vol IV’ grabbed it in her hooves and slammed it down hard on the desk less than a foot from Twilight left ear.

The alicorn shot up tilting her chair backwards in the process “The thirtieth sub magical element of friendship is trust!” she said before falling backwards in her chair.

Starlight broke out laughing “HAHHA-OH TARTRUS HUHUH-MAHAHAHAHA- ughck oh sorry I started cackling like a villain again. So you want to tell me what the hay happened here of great Princess of Lampland”. Starlight said pointing to Twilight’s head.

Twilight took a moment to realize what her friend was pointing at before swatting the lampshade off her head. She looked around at her office only now seeing the devastation caused by her antics last night. Her eyes widen as she surveyed the damage. “Ugh I had way to much cider”.

Starlight nodded in agreement walking over to the makeshift book stage and poking the curtain rod wedged in the center. “I’ll say. Is this what I think it is?”

Twilight examined it from her upside down position on the floor before she blushed “No, nope definitely not what you think it is.”

Starlight looked down and saw a opened book she picked it up and read the title “‘Pole dancing for dummies’ Oh my Celestia it is. You made a stripper pole out of books and a curtain rod. You got so drunk you strip danced you even put on lingerie to dance in. Sweet Celestia’s horseshoes that's too funny.”

Twilight only groaned at the teasing her head throbbed and Celestia must have been punishing her as the sun seemed particularly bright and seemed to be concentrated right into her eyes. “Did you come here just to make fun of me?”

Starlight looked over at her teacher and friend “Oh no I couldn’t have imagined this in my most Luna blessed dreams. I wanted to talk to you befo-” Starlight stopped talking as she saw Twilight shoot up and run down the hall to the little mare’s room Starlight followed slowly behind her as she got closer she knocked on the door. “Do you want me to hold your mane back?”

A groan followed by a pained “Yes”.

Starlight enter finding the mighty Princess of Friendship, Bearer of the Element of Magic and the Savior of Equestria, bowing in submission the Great Throne of the Porcelain Empire. Defeated the Princess had her hooves clutching the rim.

Starlight grabbed the princess’ mane in her hooves and rubbed circles on her back just in time as Twilight turned green before letting it all out. After a few minutes of spilling her guts to the Royalty of the Restroom. Starlight teleported her friend a toothbrush, toothpaste and some mouthwash as she lead her over to the sink.

“Anyway as I was saying before you started hurling. I was wondering if you wanted to go to the spa. I desperately need one of Aloe’s massages.”

Twilight groaned but nodded as she desperately tried to remove the taste of her own vomit from her mouth.

“Ok right after school good I’d like to get my spine realigned as soon as ponyly possible.”

Twilight still scrubbing her tongue used her horn to levitate some water out of the sink forming it in the air into a ‘4’ and a ‘?’.

Starlight nodded “Yeah four’s good also Spike got a letter from Princess Celestia and I told him I’d hoof it over to you.”

Twilight nodded taking the letter in her magical grasp as she also opened the mouthwash and started gurgling after a bit she spat. “Thanks I was hoping it would arrive before school started.”

“Maybe we should have called it off today. Give us a little more time to deal with the aftermath of Cozy Glow.” Starlight said teleporting the dental hygiene products back to where they came from.

“I seriously thought about it but I think it’s best we try to keep a sense of normalcy in our student’s routines. Anyway thanks for dropping this off and dealing with the effects of… well whatever I got up to last night. I’m gonna head down to the cafeteria for some breakfast and coffee. You want to come with me?” Twilight asked.

Starlight shook her head “No I ate before I came in today.” the two mare walked out of the staff restroom Starlight waited for Twilight to get a bit down the hall towards the cafeteria before calling out to her with a smirk on her face. “You gonna go dressed like that?”

Twilight still wearing lingerie turned and galloped back to her office as she sped by Starlight in a blur of fur and lace. “I hate you sometimes” Twilight said face red as Big Mac.

Twilight stood in the lunch line behind her students now dressed more appropriately wearing nothing but the fur she was born in like a respectable mare not the clothes wearing slut she was last night. Not that there’s anything wrong with clothes, she’d never insult Rarity’s profession, but some clothes said ‘I’m a classy pony’ while what she was wearing said ‘Forty bits for a blowjob’.

Her head still throbbed and she was tempted cut but when she was a filly teachers did that to her and she hated it. So she stood patent as the line inched forwards trying not to show that the excited conversations of children felt as if her horn was being hammered into her skull.

She couldn’t help over hear some even as she tried not to listen both out of respect for privacy and for the sake of her head but try as she might she heard them. All they did was bring her mood down.

“I can’t believe Cozy Glow was evil and headmare Twilight didn’t even notice.”

“I heard she was in contact with Tirek. What was she sending letters addressed to Tartarus how didn’t anyone notice. Twilight really screwed up huh?”

“What was Twilight thinking leaving the school to Starlight Glimmer I mean we got lucky Cozy didn’t kill her right way.”

“Princess Twilight sure seems to be taking after Princess Celestia, having her students save the day instead of just doing it herself. What? You know it’s true.”

“What’ll it be Princess?”

“Huh?” Twilight looked up to see the lunch pony waiting expectantly to serve her meal. “Oh I’m sorry i was distracted. I’ll have the haycon and eggs please.” the food was placed on her tray and she walked off grabbing some coffee from the pot as she left the serving line and headed for her office. Casting a spell of cleaning as she walked through the door. The objects on the floor floated to there designated places. The curtains were straighten and stains lifted from the rug of their own accord. Her chair was flipped back up and pushed out just time for her to sit down. She began eating as she unfolded Celestia’s letter that was tucked behind her wings

Dear Princess Twilight

I am so sorry that this situation has affected you so profoundly. I know you and your friends have been called on to save Equestria many times before but Cozy Glow was indeed different. You blame yourself for failing to see the darkness clouding her heart. I learnt that feeling when I failed to notice my own sister’s descent into Nightmare Moon. Also she used the very things you taught her to harm others. That was a pain I felt when I learnt of Sunset Shimmer’s actions beyond the mirror. Thanks to your actions I now have those two ponies, or person in Sunset’s case, back in my life.

Still lamenting about past mistakes will accomplish nothing we must move on and come up with a solution. I believe I have a proposal that may help you know that your school, your castle and indeed the town and, more importantly the citizens, of Ponyville are safe in your absences. I was going to discuss this with you next time you came to Canterlot however I see it can not wait.

I was going to propose that I send a detachment of the Royal Guard to help defend Ponyville. They could help defend the town if you are unavailable and while they may be unable to defeat more serious threats they could at least buy you some time to end the threat yourself.

When I received received your letter I was stuck with a slightly different ideal. Instead of a detachment of my guards be sent to Ponyville, I think it’s importance as the home of your school and castle, warrants the formation of a new branch of guards be founded to protect Ponyville and serve you.

I know you would be hesitant to put other ponies in danger but know this. As a Princess you can only do so much. The wisest of leaders know that they can achieve much more by finding the right ponies for a job and providing them with the resources they need to succeed then attempting to do everything themselves.

Please know that this is merely my personal opinion and if you wish to find a different path I understand but should you chose to take my advice I want you to take the task on and form the guard as you see fit. You have my full support, choose a captain to lead, select which tasks should be their top priorities and you forge a place for them in Equestrian society. I leave this up to you my dear friend and I trust your judgement whatever you decide but I will be here if you need any help and of course your brother knows plenty about leading guards and I'm sure he’ll be more than happy to help him.

I hope this has eased your mind my dear.

Sincerely Your Friend
Princess Celestia

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Twilight contemplated the letter throughout the as she filled out paper she weighed the pros and cons. As she taught her class she contemplated the logistics of such a thing. As she used the little fillies room she envisioned the effects of having their own guard would have on Ponyville. She asked all her friends thought out the day.

“What do you think about forming our own guard here in Ponyville?”

“Why I reckon that be plum smart sugarcube” Applejack said in the hallway.

“Should I form a royal guard for Ponyville?”

“Hell yeah, that would make this town way cooler like about twenty-three percent cooler, but still not as cool as me.” Said Rainbow after being woken from a nap in the breakroom.

“Would a Ponyville guard be a good ideal.”

“More ponies mean more parties so definitely.” Pinkie said before blasting the mare with her party cannon.

“Royal guard here? Yay or neigh?”

“Umm… yay I guess? Um Twilight can we maybe not talk while I’m using the restroom? And can you quit looking over the stall? Please?” Fluttershy said while trying to take care of… personal business.

“Friendship Guard. What do you think?”

“Darling are you asking me if we should have a bunch of big, strong, handsome stallions in gleaming armor walking around town, the answer is most definitely yes.” Rarity stated while sketching a new dress design.

“Do I need guards to protect the castle?”

“Well considering I walked right in the front door, ate the cake you had in the fridge, read your diary and pretty much just chilled on your throne for almost three and a half hours before I used Starswirl’s Time Spell to try and get revenge against you. Yeah it might be a good ideal.” Starlight said as Twilight came charging through her door.

As the day went on Twilight had made up her mind this was the right choice. Ponyville needed dedicated protectors. She needed somepony she could rely on help carry the burdens of being a princess. Somepony she could count on to stand side by side with her even if they faced the apocalypse. She needed to know that even if the rest of the world was falling apart Ponyville was as safe as the situation allowed.

She walked into her office and sat down writing a letter to the one pony she knew could handle all the challenges of this job. Somepony that could oversee first the establishment and later day to day operation of the new Ponyville guard. Twilight wrote her letter put it in a envelope and signed her name on it. Then teleported to the Ponyville post office, this letter would have to be sent the old fashioned way.

“Hello Derpy I need a stamp to send this letter.” Twilight pushed the letter across the counter to the wall eyed mare.

Derpy looked at the letter “You signed it ‘Princess Twilight Sparkle’. You never do that, is it official Princess business?”

“Yes, I guess it is.”

Derpy smiled at the mare “Than under article fifteen section five, paragraph eight of the Equestrian Postal act of nineteen seventy eight, all Princesses get free postage for official Equestrian government business. So you don’t need a stamp just a signature on the envelope and then just tell me where it needs to be delivered.”

Twilight took a moment to compose herself picking her jaw off the floor. “I didn’t know that Derpy and I read the original copy of the law in the Canterlot Archives. It already has my signature like you said but I don’t know the exact location of the pony I need to send it to.”

Derpy saluted “Dependability, Perseverance, and Integrity. That's the motto of the Equestrian Postal Service if this is important Princess business, I’ll find them even if they are hiding in the deepest depths of Tartarus. I swear it upon Celestia’s golden sun and by Luna’s moon I will not fail Equestria!”

Some ponies in the post office stared at the declaration of the cross-eyed pegasus but Twilight just hugged the grey mare. “Oh thank you Derpy. I owe you big time last I heard she was heading to Mount Aris. I really appreciate this, if Dinky ever needs help with her homework just send her my way.”

“Sounds good Twilight. So who am I’m delivering this to?” Derpy asked.

Twilight smiled “Tempest Shadow”

Call To Arms

Derpy soared through the skies weaving and bobbing about like a drunken honeybee. Her post bag abandoned as it was slowing her down and was pretty useless with just one letter that was much easier to carry in her mouth. Mount Aris had been a bust but they told her Tempest was heading to a small village in Saddle Arabia. It was once a storm king outpost that drilled for fuel for his airships. According to the Hippogriffs a general of the storm king named Jackal was still ruling over the town, now selling the fuel to make himself rich at the expense of the citizens who starved and were worked almost to death. Still Tempest was unlikely to be in the town. If she intended to fight Jackal’s troops turned bandits doing it in town would put too many ponies at risk. It was much more likely she would attack them on the road between the town and their camp in the hills. Derpy just needed some sign.

She got it when she what looked like lightning shoot across the desert. “Found her.” Derpy pulled into and dive and headed down to the battle that had erupted bellow.

Tempest jumped out of the way of a axe swung by one of the storm kings brutes. Having commanded troops just like these guys she knew that desert heat wore them out so she would keep up her guard till they wore themselves out. Jackal was a different story unlike his troops the canine dashed around the battlefield never seeming to slow or tire. Still with her wild, unpredictable but powerful magic he couldn’t get close enough to land a hit with his sword. Minutes passed as the two opposing forces wore each other down. Tempest doged another axe swing kicking the beast in the face as she jumped over it. Her magic arcing across the battlefield till it was just her and Jackal.

“Give up Tempest you don’t stand a chance against me. The Storm King was a fool to trust you to take Canterlot. I would have killed that Friend Princess right away.” Jackal taunted as his sword was blocked by Tempest leg armor as she threw her hooves to stop his attack.

“That's exactly why he didn’t dumbass he needed the princesses alive. Also if Twilight was here she wouldn’t let me hurt you as bad as I plan to.” She shoot back her magic surging towards Jackal.

The canine swiftly dashed out of the way. “Less talking more dying, pony.” He threw his sword at Tempest forcing her to block but the force of the sword bouncing off her hoof guards knocked her to the ground.

Tempest looked up to see Jackal diving down a bove her a dagger drawn ready to plunge into her. It seemed like the end she couldn't dodge in time or counter with her magic fast enough. She had failed failed to redeem herself. Failed to make the most out of the second chance at life she had been given. Failed to tell Twilight that she- “OOMMF”.

Tempest looked up to she that Jackal was no longer poncing at her but was instead bouncing across the sand. Her savior was a standing in front of her. “Oops I’m sorry mister Doggy I didn’t mean to crash into you. I just don’t know what went wrong.”

Tempest looked up at the famair grey pegasus before her. “Who are you? I think I’ve seen you before but I don’t know where.” She asked getting up to her hooves.

“Oh yeah you accidently turned me into a statue that one time. I’m Derpy nice to meet you Miss Tempest Shadow.”

Tempest remember she accidently hit this pony instead of Twilight during the Canterlot invasion. “I remember, I’m sorry Miss Derpy.”

“Aw don’t worry about it, it was a accident.” she looked a bit embarrassed as she scraped her hoof across the sand. “I sometimes accidentally hurt ponies to with my clumsiness. Like that doggy I crashed into over there.” She pointed at Jackal who was trying to stand back up. “Are you ok Doggy.” she called to him.

Jackal mumbled something about “damn annoying ponies.”

“Anyway I have a letter from Twilight. She said it was important Princess stuff.” she looked around before realizing something ‘Oops it was in my mouth but now it’s not. It must have fell out when I crashed. Give me a second and I’ll find it Miss Tempest.” she looked around for the letter. The second she turned her back to him Jackal charged at her grabbing his sword as he ran by it.

Tempest saw this and tried to charge Jackal to intercept him but the moment she put weight on her fore hoof she felt a sharp pain shoot up her leg. ‘Damn my legs broken’ “Derpy look out!”

“Found it” Derpy exclaimed lowering her head to pick it up in her mouth right as Jackal swung for her neck. The razor sharp metal swung merely a inch above Derpy’s fur and a second too late to decapitate. Instead the momentum carried Jackal forward causing him to bump into her side tripping him over the top of Derpy’s back lading face first on a rock. “Oops are you ok Doggy?”

Jackal spook his face still pressed to the stone. “You know Tempest used to be my least favorite pony, but your quickly catching up.”

Derpy tucked the letter under her wing and reached to pick up the dropped sword. Jackal hopped up and lunged to sink his sharp fangs into the pony’s jugular. Instead as Derpy raised her head after retrieving the sword headbutted him in the jaw. He fell backwards onto the same rock as earlier knocking himself unconscious. Derpy laid the sword next to him “Aww the Doggy is sleepy, isn’t he cute. Well like they say ‘let sleeping dogs lie.’” she kissed his forehead “Sleep tight cute Doggy.” she then skipped over to a astonished Tempest. “Here you go one letter form the Princess of Friendship.”

Tempest took the letter “Umm thanks. Hey can you help me get back to town I think I broke my leg fig- I mean playing with that umm doggy.”

Derpy smiled “no problem let's go that dog's owner probably lives in town so maybe we should bring him back.”

Tempest smiled “yeah that's a great ideal.” They put Jackal on Derpy's back and together made there way back to town.”

After they dropped Jackal off at the town’s police office and getting a cast for Tempest at the town doctor. They went back to Tempest’s room at the Inn where she was finally able to open the letter.

Dear Tempest Shadow or do you prefer Fizzlepop Berrytwist

I wanted to ask you a favor I guess. You see recently my school was taken over by a student. She tricked me into leaving the school understaffed and trapped my friend Starlight who I left behind to run the school in my absence. While I have dealt with her and retaken the school I feel as though I failed my students. They trust me to keep them safe while there here and i failed in that. I have never really considered the safety of the school which was foolish. Ponyville doesn't have much crime but it seems every other day some monster is coming from the Everfree Forest and attacking or some evil villain is trying to conquer Equestria. No offense.

I asked Celestia if she could help think of a solution and she suggested forming a Royal Guard detachment here in Ponyville to protect the citizens the school and my castle. I need a brave trustworthy pony to help me found the Ponyville guard, it’s a working title, and eventually run them as the captain. I think your the perfect pony for this job.

This is a great chance to prove you’ve really changed to everypony. I hope that you’ll agree I understand if you want to continue on the journey your on now to prove yourself to the creatures you’ve wronged, but I think this is a chance to do more good than one pony can do alone.

Sincerely your friend
Twilight Sparkle.

P.S. Seriously which name do you prefer? I’d hate to accidentally upset you.

Tempest pulled out some paper of her own and wrote her reply

Dear Twilight Sparkle

Guard Captain Tempest Shadow reporting for duty. I will take the first train to Ponyville.

Sincerely Tempest Shadow to most but my friends can call me Fizzlepop.

She hoofed the latter over to Derpy “Make sure this letter makes it to Twilight as so as possible, soldier.”

Derpy saluted and flew out the door after crashing into the wall beside it three times.

Tempest packed her things and headed for the train station.

She walked to the train station up to the ticket clerk. “One ticket please.”

“Sure thing miss where ya heading.” the clerk asked.

Tempst looked off into the distance “Destiny.”

The clerk looked over the schedule. “Uhh I don’t think we have any trains heading to Destiny.”

Tempest would have facehoof if it wasn’t broken. “Just get me a ticket to Ponyville. You dumbass.”

Knighted Before The Court

A colorful train rumbled into the Ponyville station and as soon as the doors opened ponies of all shapes, sizes and colors poured out the door eager to escape the scene unfolding on the train.

“-and that’s how i ended up stuck upside down in the Princess’ bathroom sink.” Derpy said stepping off the train right behind Tempest. The broken unicorn bit down on the handle of her suitcase to keep her from saying something mean to the grey pegasus. She had nothing against the mare but she spoke the entire train ride even talking in her sleep about muffins. In fact if she heard that word one more time from the wall eyed mare she’d-

“Hey Tempest ya hungry? We could get some muffins.” Derpy asked blissfully unaware of how the scarred unicorn’s eye twitched or how she bit down so hard on her suitcase the plastic handled cracked.

“DERPY WILL YOU SHU-” Tempest paused noticing all the eyes on her. Realizing this first impression is not how she wanted them to remember her. “Uhh I mean can you show me the way to the castle?” She said trying to recover.

“Sure thing Temp. I always get lost trying to find it and I live here. Lets see. I think It’s…” Derpy’s hoof pointed out towards the giant crystal castle towering above all of Ponyville visible not just from the train platform they were on but pretty much the entire town before sharply turing and pointing off into the opposite direction towards nothing of note. “That way. Do you want me to lead you?”

Tempest shut that ideal down quick. “No! No, It’s fine I’m sure I can find it, besides shouldn't you go tell your daughter Dinky your back?” Tempest had heard all about Dinky from her mother's incessant chatter which was thirty-three percent Dinky thirty-three percent muffins and thirty-three percent how much Dinky liked muffins one percent crashing into royal bathrooms stories.

“Oh yeah I left Time Turner babysitting I should go find where he parked his phone booth. Anyway it was nice meeting you Temp, come by and visit me sometimes. I think we have a lot in common. I live with Time Turner in his phone booth.”

“You, a stallion and your daughter all live in a phone booth? Isn’t that kinda cramped?”

“Oh no it’s very spacious. Anyway come sometime during the weekend, I’m almost always at the post office during the week. Bye-Bye Temp.” Derpy flew off slammed into a tree a few feet away and then continued on her way.

“I wonder if everypony in this town is that crazy.” Tempest pondered heading off in the obvious direction of the castle.

The auditorium of the School of Friendship was full of the chatter of the entire student body as every creature who attended crammed in and whispered to their friends to see if any creature know the reason for this meeting. They watched as Headmare Twilight Sparkle stepped out onto the stage. “Attention students.” She called out to the crowd.

Instead of quieting the cacophony of voices grew louder as rumors began to fly.

“She’s retiring after Cozy Glow outsmarted her.”

“Attention students.”

“Headmare Twilight is dating one of the other staff.”

“I said may I please have your attention!”

“Were all going to become alicorns.”

“Attention Every-Creature!”

“Oh my Celestia! Twilight is pregnant! Just look at her stomach!”

“I Said Attention Everypony!”

“Nah she’s just fat.”

Twilight took a deep breath and felt her magic on her vocal cords. “I SAID ATTENTION STUDENTS!!!” her royal canterlot voice echoed through the room and pushed the young alicorn back a few feet, and as hoped stunned everyone into silence.

“Thank you all for listening. I have a important announcement to make. No pony is quitting nor can I alone make any-creature a alicorn. I’m not in a relationship even through hearts and hooves day is just around the corner, I’m perfectly happy spending it alone. Just me in my giant castle. Made of cold stone. Reading a book about somepony else who finds love and there hearts become full of joy and happiness while I’m stuck LIVING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH THEM. NO I’M NOT DATING ANYPONY. AND HOW CAN I BE PREGNANT WHEN MY SEX LIFE IS NONEXISTENT?” Twilight exclaimed getting slightly off topic. She used the breathing technique Cadence taught her to try and calm down some.

“Wow Twilight you need to get laid badly.” Rainbow helpfully pointed out.

“Thank you Rainbow Dash.” Twilight shot the Pegasus a glare. “Anyway I apologize for that outburst. I wanted to introduce you to a new staff member. I failed you all when I let Cozy Glow put you in danger. For that and the threat of the Everfree forest, I have decided to recruit a guard organization similar but still separate from the Royal Guard in Canterlot. While they will protect all of Ponyville and it’s citizens and be stationed at my castle their main task will be keeping you children all safe. This new staff member will be the captain of the newly formed guard. Once I actually get around to forming them that is hehe.” She finished a bit embarrassed.

Starlight stepped up to give her friend a rest. “This pony is a friend of Twilight and me so we hope your all come to trust them as much as me and Twilight do. She has experience with military service and even commanded troops of her own in a… somewhat successful military operation. It was pretty much only her leader who screwed it up in the end. As for her actual job at the school, she’ll be the school’s safety officer. Think of it this way, as your councilor is to ensure your mental and emotional well being. Her job will to be to protect your physical well being by keeping you safe and making sure you never get hurt in the first place. So if you have any concerns about safety or see anyone breaking the rules or doing anything unsafe for themselves or others, you should tell her or one of the other staff who will alert her. Now some of you may be a bit hesitant to trust her but I promise she earned our trust and I know she hopes to earn yours as well. Also remember not too long ago I was Twilight’s greatest foe. I changed and she has changed as well.”

The student were confused. It made sense to up security but what was all this about trusting and ponies changing. They were about to start gossiping again when Headmare Twilight cut them off. “Students let me introduce my friend and captain of the guard. Tempest Shadow.”

On cue the mulberry unicorn stepped out from behind the stage and walked up to stand next to Twilight. She still wore her old clothing that would have went under her armor. While it lacked the Storm King’s emblem everypony remembered the mare that lead the storm king’s army. For the ponies in the crowd like Sandbar they remembered the the few days of subjection, honestly they had lived through worse with Discord and Tirek particularly.

For the other species however they remembered other things about her. For the changelings and griffons she was a threat that never quite reached them, so while surprised at her appearance, for Gallus and Ocellus it wasn’t too much of a concern. The others however felt differently. Yona remembered how before the Storm King the Yaks and Snow beasts lived pretty peacefully in the cold north but after his rise to power he lead them in a aggressive attack against the Yaks as he pushed south. While she had never seen Tempest she knew she had served the Storm King for years and that made her a enemy of the Yaks. Smolder remembered raids against the dragon lands as the Storm King tried to take over their rich mines and take their treasures to fund his conquests. Worst of all was Silverstream as the Invasion of Mount Aris flashed through her mind. She remembered the loss of her home and the constant fear she lived in of this very mare coming to finish what she started on land.

Silverstream stood up and ran out the closest door her friends right behind her calling out to her to stop and wait for them.

Starlight turned to Twilight “Don’t worry I’ll talk to them.” She then teleported off after the kids.

“We’re off to a great start.” Tempest mumbled. “You sure you want me to do this Twilight?”

Twilight put her wing around the mulberry mare. “I knew some of the students may be hesitant to trust you but in time they’ll see the friendly pony I know you can be. Just give it time Tempest.”

Tempest smiled to her friend before stepping forward to the edge of the stage. “Attention fellow students of friendship. I maybe new to friendship and many of you probably know more about it than I do. What I do know however is dedication, perseverance, and determination and those are all thing the needed to keep you children safe. I promise that even if you don’t trust me now, I will do everything I can to protect you, this school and this town. I promise that I will be your shield so you may focus on your studies without fear.”

Twilight smiled stepping up to Tempest and turning to face her. Tempest kelt before the princess. Twilight unfolded her wings standing before her friend regally. “Tempest Shadow do you swear to defend the students of this school and the citizens of Ponyville? Do you vow to uphold the laws of Equestria as the captain of the local guards? So long as Celestia’s sun shines in the day and Luna’s stars twinkle in the night?”

“I swear your majesty.”

“Do you vow to obey my orders as captain of my personal guards? Do you promise your loyalty to the throne of friendship? For as long as Princess Cadence fills our hearts with love?”

“I swear my fealty to you, The Princess of Friendship, as your devoted knight.”

“And last but most importantly. Do you give your devotion to the ideal of friendship? Do you recognize the magic of friendship?”

“I vow to be the knight of friendship for as long as you, Princess Twilight, continue spread it across the land.”

Twilight smiled at her friend reaching out and raising her to her hoofs. “Then as the Princess of Friendship and a princess of Equestria I hereby knight you, Tempest Shadow, as captain of my guard.”

“So was this apart of your plan? getting locked down here as well?”

“Golly neighbor. This is exactly where I want to be now you can start teaching me in earnest. Then once we break out we’ll get our revenge against Twilight.”

“Humm. You know I may have underestimated you little pony.”

“Most folks do, and it’s a big mistake. So what do you say mister, Wanna be friends?”

Author's Note

Oh I had know ideal writing Derpy would be as fun as it is I may have to put her in the story more. Anyway please let me know what you all think about the story.

Take Up Arms

“How many libraries are in this castle?” Tempest said after walking into the tenth room filled with books.

“Well it is Twilight's castle so you shouldn't be surprised. Honestly I’m surprised she didn’t fill every room with books.” Starlight said.

“Thank you for giving me a tour Starlight but shouldn't you be helping with those children that ran out in the assembly?”

“I spoke with them and asked that they meet me tomorrow in my office. These things take time I may need to talk to them multiple times to get to the root of the issue.”

“Great I’ve not even been here for a day and some kids need therapy because of me.”

Starlight put her hoof on Tempest’s back “Hey don’t think like that. It takes time for ponies to change their opinions on somepony else.”

“How long did it take for Twilight friends forgive you?”

Starlight had to pause to think. “Honestly they forgave me pretty quick even the town I ruled over forgave me pretty fast. It was like some sort of poorly written redemption arc. Still everypony is different so just keep working for it and eventually you’ll get it.”

“Thanks Starlight I’ll keep working on it. Now where's next on stop on our tour?”

“Next is the heart of the castle the throne room.” Starlight lead them into the large room with a large map in the middle and the roots of a tree hanging above them. Around the table was the Elements of Harmony themselves.

“Welcome Fizzlepop. I wanted to sit everypony down and talk about the plan for our new guard.” Twilight greeted the mare.

Tempest looked at the group assembled a bit intimidated by being around so many ponies she had tried to capture not long ago. Still she took a seat at a small folding chair sat up beside Starlight and Rainbow Dash directly across from Twilight. “Ok Twilight what is on your mind?”

“Well I took the liberty for making a checklist for how to found a guard organization based on the information in this book.” the purple princess levitated a book onto the table titled ‘How to form a militant organization in one thousand easy steps’.

Tempest nodded her head. “Oh I read the sequel to that book before invading Canterlot. ‘How to defeat immortal princesses capable of manipulating heavenly bodies in one thousand easy steps’. It was a great read.”

“Who is writing all these extremely specific books, ya’ll keep pulling out of nowhere?” Applejack asked.

“When in doubt blame Discord.” Rainbow offered.

“It doesn't matter who wrote them but if Fizzlepop found the other book helpful that means the information should prove very helpful. Now first order of business. What should we call the new guard? Any ideals?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, oh how bout The Ponyville Defenders?” Pinkie squealed waving her forehoof around.

“That sounds more like a superhero team. I was thinkin’ we just call the the Ponyville Police.” Applejack said.

“Lame, besides A.J they’re guards not cops. It's different. Guards are like eleven percent cooler than cops.” Rainbow told the farmer. “They need to sound official thats why I came up with ‘Ponyville and Equestrian National Internal Security.”

“That’s not bad Dash. It needs a bit of work maybe we could come up with a acronym for it. Lets see P.E.N… It spells out penis doesn't it?” Twilight asked halfway through writing out the word in her notes.

Rainbow fell out of her chair laughing “Yeah I wanted to see if I could get you to write penis in your notes.”

Twilight groaned “Any other suggestions?” Pinkie and Rainbow raised their hooves. “Any serious suggestions?” She specified. Rainbow and Pinkie lowered their hooves.

“What about the Friendship Knights? The friendship part will remind the troops what we’re really protecting and is a nod to the Princess we work for. And calling ourselves Knights will give the organization prestige and make our troops feel like there a part of something special.” Tempest asked.

“Oh how elegant, I love it.” Rarity said.

“Yeah that's pretty cool. I was going to try to come up with some more sex puns but thats way cool Fizzle.” Rainbow told her.

“I think that's a good name. Spike mark it off the list.” Twilight told the dragon in the small throne next to her’s.

“Sure thing that only leaves nine-hundred-ninety-nine more things to go.” The dragon said unfurling a scroll that rolled across the table onto the floor across the room and into the hall.

“Ok next up is the purpose. You’ll main concern is the children both the kids at the school and across Ponyville. Then the other citizens of the town. Then keep property damage to a minimum.” Twilight said.

Tempest looked at the young alicorn across from her. “Um aren’t you forgetting something?”

Twilight stare at her for a bit before it clicked. “Oh yeah how could I forget. The books for the love of Celestia keep my books safe. Good thing you remembered Fizzlepop.”

Tempest smacked herself “You, Twilight you forgot we need to protect you.”

Twilight shook her head. “No the Friendship Knights need to focus on others. Me and my friends are usually the first to charge into the danger. You can’t protect us if we actively put ourselves in harm’s way. Keep our friends and families safe and let us focus on stopping whatever rampaging monster or ancient evil that's attacking. If you get the ponies to safety a few Knights can come help us.”

Tempest took Twilight’s hoof between her two hooves. “I don’t know if I can let you fight alone. I’ll get the everypony to safety then I’m coming back to help you not as your knight but as your friend.”

Twilight felt Tempest tenderly caressing her hoof, the soft feel of the scared unicorn’s fur on her own. The young princess looked into the former villains eyes seeing the affection past the scar on her cheek. She felt her cheeks warm as her heartbeat quickened.

Tempest realized she was being far too affectionate with the Princess pulled away a blush peeking out from her mulberry fur. “I mean if you would allow me to aid you Princess.” She managed to stammer out.

“Of-of course Fizzle and please just stick to Twilight. I would love to have you on top of- I MEAN… I mean I’d love to have you standing beside me. Um I should get us something to drink.” The Princess walked backwards bumping into the wall by the door before galloping out the room. “Be right back.”

“I should go to the restroom.” Tempest disappeared though the door herself.

The other ponies plus bady dragon sat in silence for a few moments before Starlight broke the awkward silence. “Soooo. Who wants to start a betting pool for how long it takes for them to get together?”

“Starlight that is rude.” Rarity chastised. “That being said I got one thousand bits on a month from now.”

Spike pulled out a calendar and wrote Rarity down. “How are we doing this Starlight? Day by day?”

“No that’d get too complicated let's get a week each. Also put me down for four weeks from now.” The counselor said.

“I got two weeks.”Pinkie said.

“You saw how horny Twi’s been I bet she’ll hop Fizzlepop’s bones in a week.” Rainbow bet.

“I got five weeks” A.J threw her hat in the ring. Metaphorically, she’d never bet her stetson.

“I’ve known Twilight my whole life. It’ll take two months so I’ll round it to six weeks.” Spike said.

“Um can I bet seven weeks. If nopony minds that is.” Fluttershy requested.

“A thousand each?” Spike asked finishing up the calendar. Everypony nodded. “Ok everyone swear you’ll pay up.”

In unison they chanted. “Cross my heart hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Spike put the calendar away just as Twilight returned with eight cups of tea on a tray. “Where’s Fizzle?”

“Right here. I figured I’d use the restroom while you were gone.” Tempest replied walking through the door. Hoping nopony would notice that her face was damp from splashing cold water on her face.

“Next up uniforms.” Spike said looking over the scroll.

Rarity squealed reaching into her saddle bags. “I have been working on some designs for you armour.” She placed some drawings on the table.

“I didn’t know you have experience with armor design Rarity.” Tempest said sitting down.

“I made a few costumes but I learnt most of what I used to design these from this book called. ‘How to design armour for a newly formed guard organization in one thousand easy steps’”. Rarity held the book in the air for all to see.

“Are you bucking kiding me?” Applejack exclaimed “How is there a market for these super niche ‘how to books’?”

“These are really well designed Rarity. The armor seems to be functional no obvious weak points or gaps but you still have overlapping plates on the joints for mobility.” Tempest said looking over multiple sketches.

“Thank you darling. This one here is colored so you can get a ideal of what they’d look like. Purple to match Twilight’s coat and gold accents to show you work for royalty.” Ratiy said pointing to bits and pieces of the armor.

“Ok looks like Rarity has the designs down. Next up the most exciting part.” Twilight announced happily “We need study Equestrian Military laws and regulations.” Twilight dropped a massive pile of books and papers all written in verberse legalese.

The other ponies groaned.

“I don’t understand how this is suppose to help us escape.” Tirek said looking at the tiny filly next sitting in front of him.

“It’s not but I need to understand how you’re powers work before I can get us out of here.” Cozy Glow said looking up from her notebook.

“Why do you need to know?” Lord Tirek demanded.

“Golly mister. It should be obvious, when we escape I won’t have anyway to keep you from betraying me.” There was a cruel grin on the young pony’s face. “Right now you need me and you’ll tell me everything I want to know or I’ll leave you to rot down here.”

Tirek was shocked that so much evil could be locked inside such a small pony. “You truly are one of the most evil beings I’ve ever seen. I’m impressed.”

Cozy hugged Tirek’s leg “Geez thinks Mister Tirek, just remember. You’re gonna want to be my friend, or else I’ll destroy you.”

Should've Worn A Helmet

“So what makes you qualified for The Friendship Knights?” Tempest asked sitting behind a desk.

“These right here.” Bulk Biceps flexed his massive muscles.

“Right...” Overly muscular ponies grossed Tempest out. “Do you have any military experience?”

“Well i’ve been fighting to get these gains for years. You know I have another.. Big… Hard… muscle you can have a look at.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“NEXT!” Tempest shouted. On the other side of the door Starlight teleported Bulk outside the castle.

“Aww I only got to show her one. Why do mares always get mad when i try to show them my other bicep?” Bulk walked away sad.

“Mister Sentry. Your next.” Starlight said.

The yellow pegasus walked through the door he made it two steps before Tempest looked up from her papers. “Oh hell no!” she was on him in a second before the pegasus could react she threw him out the window. “Stay the hell away from my waifu bitch! Next!”

Starlight poked her head in “Um... Tempest that was everypony.”

“Okay how many applicants did we have?” Tempest asked.

“Well we had almost fifty applicants today.”

“How many did we recruit?”

“None.”

“None? Didn’t I accept that small purple one.”

“Nope that was Spike offering you coffee. You accepted coffee from Spike.”

“Well this is suppose to be a elite unit. I can’t just take any common riff-raff.”

“Flash Sentry was a decorated veteran from the crystal empire. If anything he was almost overqualified.”

“Yeah he’s perfect how lame is that. What a Mary Sue.”

“Oh. Well I guess we’ll see who we get tomorrow.”

“I know exactly what the problem here is.” The two mare looked to see Rainbow Dash walking into the room. “You need to get the word out that's why I hired a artist to draw a recruitment poster.” She gestured to a poster rolled up under her wing.

“Not bad Dash. Show me what you got.” Tempest said.

“Oh I think you’ll like this.” Rainbow unfurled the poster. A beautiful drawing of Twilight Sparkle with her mane soaking wet hanging down giving bedroom eyes to who ever was looking. Above her head it read ‘I Want You.’ in large letters at the bottom in considerably smaller letters ‘to Join The Friendship Knights’.

“Umm I’m not sure that’s the right... appearance we want Twilight to be associated with. Still I’ll take the poster for… safe keeping. Yeah we may use a modified version later. I should go.” Tempest said rushing out of the room her prized poster tucked safely under one leg as she hobbled out on the remaining three.

“Barely two days into your week and your already cheating.” Starlight chastised the young wonderbolt.

“It’s not cheating just hedging my bets a little.” Rainbow defended. “Besides I’ll be very surprised if you play fair yourself. What are you going to do some weird magic lovey dovey stuff. Maybe cast Twilight’s ‘want it need it’ spell on Tempest flank or how bout you just cut out the middle stallion and brainwash them.”

Starlight huffed. “I’m not going to use my magic. I learned those lessons.”

Rainbow back away from the angry magic powerhouse. “Ok, ok I guess you have. Sorry that was rude of me.”

“I forgive you Dash.”

Rainbow pulled out a flask of glowing pink liquid. “You were going to use Zecora’s magic potion.” Rainbow flip the glass and read the back in a bad Zecora impression that may or may not be speciest to Zebras. “If one wishes for love to be found, like a miracle this potion will sound. Just a drop even if small, when drunk in love with the next pony they see they'll fall.”

“Give me that!” Starlight lunged at the laughing pegasus. “I had that locked in my desk you went through my stuff. You thief.”

“Oh so you admit you were going to use it?”

“Only as a last resort. Now give it back.” Starlight managed to get her hooves around Rainbow.

“Whatever happened to learning your lesson?”

“What's a little magic mental and or emotional manipulation between friends? Now give it I payed Zecora good money for that.”

“Yeah money you would have made back from the bet and still have plenty to spend.”

As the two mares wrestled for the potion Starlight smacked it out of Dash’s hooves. It flew in a across the room and right out the window. “Ow.”

Starlight looked out the window while Rainbow was busy laughing at her misfortune and lost investment. She saw Flash at the bottom rubbing his head a broken glass next to him. “Sorry Flash.”

“Oh it’s ok. I’m fine, nothing serious.” He yelled back.

Now certain she wasn’t about to face another lawsuit Starlight stuck her head back in the room.

“I never noticed how beautiful Starlight is.” Flash said blushing a few drops of love potion dripping out of his mouth. “I should buy her flowers and ask her out.” He walked away with hearts in his eyes.

A few moments later a blue unicorn with a cape and hat covered in stars trotted up. “Uh who poured out a perfectly good soda and broke the glass? That littering.” She looked around to see if anyone was watching. “Well the great and environmentally friendly Trixie will clean this up and get free soda as payment.” Trixie levitated a bit of glass with some potion still in it above her mouth letting it pour down into her mouth. “Ewww! Gross! Trixie doesn't like bitter soda.” She dropped the glass and stared at the pink liquid with contempt. “Buck the environment.” She walked off towards the entrance of the castle. “Lets see what Starlight is up to and if she want to go to a restaurant. Trixie is hungry and needs somepony to buy her lunch. Ugh but what if I have to deal with other ponies.” Trixie thought for a moment before she came to a genius solution. “If Trixie doesn't see anypony she won’t have to deal with them.” Trixie pulled her hat down over her eyes and walked to the door almost tripping on the steps and smacking face first into the door.

While this dumb love triangle side plot was going on Tempest walked down the halls trying to get back to her room for some alone time with Rainbow’s poster. Of course since her life's a comedy now she first had to bump into some creature when she turned a corner. “Ugh my bad.” She heard a scared squeak and looked up. “Oh buck me it’s you.”

Silverstream was quickly trying to gather her books and other possession without looking at Tempest.

Tempest realized this was going to be annoying if this hippogriff lived in fear of her. She was suppose to take care of these kids not traumatize them. ‘Okay Tempest tap into those maternal instincts they say ever mare has.’ Tempest thought.

“If you’re afraid of me you shouldn’t take you eyes off me it just makes you easier to kill.” Tempest said in her menacing evil commander voice. It froze Silverstream in the middle of picking up some homework. She now looked at Tempest eyes wide scared to even blink. ‘Hoof meet mouth I’m sure you to will get along great’ Tempest kicked herself she forgot she traded in mothering instincts for badass military commander instincts.

“That's not what I meant. Ok look I am probably going to be really bad at this but listen. I don’t want you to be afraid of me.” Tempest said pushing the last of the papers over to the hippogriff and standing as the girl did the same.

“I-I-I’m n-n-n-o-t a-f-f-raid o-f-f-f y-o-o-o-u.” Silverstream stutterd her whole body quaking in terror looking like she was about to wet herself.

“Ok so that’s obviously a lie. Look I get it I attacked Mount Aries when you were a weak helpless child. I marched in with a unstoppable army and wrecked everything. Maybe you watched me burn you family’s house down or blast your mommy or daddy with magic. I was strong and you were weak. Now the tables have turned. Do you see my unstoppable army?” Silverstream actually looked before she shook her head no. “That's because a few losers hiding in a cake stopped it so it wasn’t very unstoppable was it? Now are you a helpless child because I was told you and your friends saved this school and probably all of Equestria in the process.”

Silverstream slowly started to stand straight some confidence came back to her. “Yeah I’m not a little kid.”

“You couldn’t fight back then but you can now. You and your friends could probably beat me especially without the Storm King’s minions. I know what to expect from Twilight and her friends but you’re a wild card. That’s a serious advantage.”

Silverstream didn’t look as afraid anymore. “You’re right. We kick evil butt.”

Tempest smiled as the kid did a little hoof (Claw?) pump. “Damn right kid. Now, prove it? Hit me.”

“What!?”

Tempest stuck her head towards the girl. “Punch me. Right in the face.”

“W-WHAT!?”

“Deck me. Punch me right in the jaw, or nose, or eye I don’t care. It’s one thing to say you can take me but this will make it real for you.”

“I don’t know what you mean?”

“A punch is when you take your claw in your case make a fist and hit me with it. Come on kid I’m getting a crick in my neck from sticking my head out for you.”

“But Professor Fluttershy said violence is never the answer.”

“Buck Fluttershy! look violence is wrong and all but sometimes hitting things is fast and pretty much just as effective. You can get the same results with one punch as Starlight can give you with weeks of therapy. Plus that mare friendship lasers most of her problems and shooting some creature with a rainbow laser of friendship sounds pretty violent to me.”

“I don’t know if this is a good ideal.”

“Look kid. You’re still scared of me and until you see for yourself I’m not unstoppable you always will be at least a little scared. I know a thing or to about fear I use to think it was a weakness but I see now how wrong I was. Fear makes your heart beat faster supplying blood to your muscles. It makes you take deeper or sometimes faster breaths to fill your lungs with air so that blood has plenty of oxygen. It makes your pupils dilate so you take in more light. It pumps you full of adrenaline and primes you to either fight or flight and both are very useful in the right circumstance. Fear isn’t a weakness it’s a bucking superpower if you learn to use it right. So I want you to see even if your still scared that's ok because even if your still scared of me you're definitely not helpless. And who know once you realize that maybe you won’t be afraid at all. So what do you say feel like being known as the hippogriff who knocked Tempest Shadows lights out?”

Silverstream sat her books on the floor. “If you're sure this will help. I don’t want to be afraid anymore.” She stood on her back legs and balled her right claw into a fist.

Tempest smiled. ‘How hard can a kid with no combat training punch.’ “Give me your best shot kid.” ‘I’ll show her how to throw a proper punch after what ever weak hit she gives me. It’ll be a great bonding experience.’

“Good thing I took those underwater boxing classes back in Seaquestria. I bet without the water resistance I can hit a lot harder.”

‘Buck!’ Tempest couldn’t call this off after that big speech. The kid needed this so all Tempest could do was watch in horror as Silverstream stepped back on her right leg. She twisted her entire body rotating her hips and throwing the mother of all right hooks pivoting on her foot a bad move in a real fight but great technique for a free hit. Tempest braced herself as she saw the fist heading right for her. Soon all was dark.

A far away voice called out in the darkness. “Tempest are you okay?”

Why was there a horrible throbbing in her eye. “Tempest please wake up.”

Tempest didn’t know what she’d done but it must have been pretty stupid. “Please Miss Tempest be ok.”

Almost as stupid as that time she went out drinking with her army judging by the fact her head hurt almost as bad as the day after. “Oh buck I killed her. I killed Tempest.”

Oh yeah that's what happened. Better calm the kid down. “You know my friends call me Fizzlepop Berrytwist. You should to kid.”

“Pffh! Sorry it’s just that that's a really silly name. Are you ok?” Silverstream helped Tempest up onto her hooves.

“Never better kid. And I know it’s a silly name. Perfect for a silly pony like me. So are we friends?” Tempest asked.

Silverstream pulled the broken and now bruised unicorn into a hug. “The best of friends. Well not like best friends the other members of the Young Six win out but you're definitely top ten material.”

Tempest laughed, she made sure it wasn’t her evil one l. Maniacal laughter is a hard habit to kick. “I’ll take that kid.” She said returning the hug. “Now I need to go get ice or something for my face you got me right between the eyes.”

“Yeah I dropped you like a sack of sea cucumbers. You were right I don’t fear helpless or scared. You’re really smart Miss Tempest.”

“Ahhhh! Evil Pony is attacking Yona’s friend!” The two hugging girls turn at the sound of hooves thundering towards them.

Tempest sees a charging Yak heading right for her. She has enough time to push Silverstream out of harm's way and mutter a resigned. “Buck.” before again all was black.

Author's Note

I’m still alive and so is this story. I’m super sorry for the unexpected drought. I just kinda lost interest in mlp for a bit and I’ve been working on a fic for SU so check that out if your into that so on archive same username on there. I saw somethings about the new episodes which I plan on marathioning after I post this and decided to get back into this fic.

Like a Apple Tree

“Out of the way of the Great and Powerful Trixie, she can not be bothered to look at your ugly faces.” The blue unicorn said as she walked through the halls with her hat blocking her view. Trixie navigated by waving her hoof in front of her knocking over what is likely very expensive vases and other decorations every few steps. Eventually she bumped into something soft and furry. “What part of get out of the Great and Powerful Trixie’s way did you not understand?” She said indignantly.

“Um Trixie? Why are you covering your eyes with your hat?”

Trixie knew that voice and yanked her hat up. “Glim-Glam! I was looking for you.” She gazed at Starlight Glimmer who’s coat seemed particularly beautiful today and her hair seemed oh so perfect. Hearts immediately filled the young magician’s eyes as she saw the other unicorn. “Starlight... have you done something different with your hair? You look stunning today.”

Starlight gave the other mare a confused look. “Um… no? Why do you ask?”

“What can’t a mare compliment a beautiful lady when she sees one. Now what do you say about getting some food? I’m starving.” Trixie offered.

“Sure that sounds good. Just let me grab my saddle bag with my bits in it.” Starlight said knowing the drill. Trixie never paid.

“No need. It’s my treat.” Trixie said.

Starlight’s jaw dropped she spun around magic blast charged on her horn. “You’re not Trixie!? Who are you and where is my friend!?”

“Yesh! Chill out Glimmy. What kind of mare would I be if I made elegant mare like you pay for a meal?” Trixie said far smoother than she had ever been before.

“Okay if your Trixie answer this. Who is the greatest magician to ever live?”

“Easy it’s Jack Pot. He’s a legend. Most ponies think I’d say myself but I’m not that much of a narcissist.” Trixie answered.

“Yeah that's why I asked if your were pretending to be Trixie you’d say yourself. Still you’re acting weird Trixie.” Starlight pointed out.

“You’re acting weird Starlight. Why are your so suspicious of you’re marefriend?” Trixie asked.

“Marefriend? Trixie what are you talking about?” Starlight replied shocked.

“Yeah she isn’t your marefriend.” a new voice said from down the hall. Flash Sentry stepped out of the shadows in an over dramatic fashion. “She’s MINE.”

“Is she, chicken boy? Are you willing to fight over her?” Trixe asked taking off her hat and cape.

“Fight you? Ha thats funny. It won’t be a fight it’ll be a mild distraction at best.” Flash said getting into position to take flight and rush his foe.

Magic crackled around Trixie’s horn. “Oh. I’m going to pluck your feathers and make a new pillow out of them.”

“What the buck?” Starlight asked under her breath as the two love struck idiots stared each other down.

The two dorks glared each other. A tension in the air. Soon the two began shouting.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Lighting cracked around them both, pebbles lifted off the ground despite being indoors where there were no pebbles they seeming appeared solely to add to the drama. Yellow energy built around both Trixie and Flash as they charged their Ki. Then in a flash of yellow light they both stood glaring at each other their manes now a golden blonde.

“Ha I’m surprised a weakening like you can even go super saiyan. Still it won’t be enough to beat me.” Super Saiyan Trixie taunted.

“The jokes on you because I promise underestimating me is the last thing you’ll ever do.” Super Saiyan Flash Sentry shot back.

They both pulled their forehooves back standing on their back hooves.

“KAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAA!”
They both screamed blue energy waves flying towards each other.

“ENOUGH!” Starlight screamed teleporting right in the middle and blocking both attacks with a shield of her magic. After the dust had settled Starlight stood unamused by the actions of these dumb weebs. She lashed out with her own magic as her horn’s glow grabbed both of them by the ear and dragged them toward her.

“Ow ow ow ow! Glim-Glam that hurts! Stop!” Trixie whined powering down as her hair returned to it’s normal.

“Ouch! Starlight babe that hurts! Ouch!” Flash also complained as he two reverted to his lame old self.

“Okay you two listen up. Flash did you drink any of that potion that fell out the window?” Starlight asked the pegasus.

“Yeah I think a few drops fell into my mouth. Why?”

“Trixie what about you?”

“Trixie isn’t dumb enought to drink random potions she finds lying around. All Trixie did was drink some pink soda she found. Most had spilled out but a few drops were still in a large piece of broken glass. It was bitter and gross so I spit it out.”

Starlight rubbed her temples, she felt a headache coming on. “ Okay. Looks like we need to visit Zecora.” She said trapping the other two in stasis field and levitating them along behind her.

She was almost at the door when she came upon an odd scene. Students gathered around Twilight and a pony on the ground. Twilight was casting some form of healing spell. Herodicus’ spell of mending, Starlight judged. Good for fractured bones but not powerful enough for full on brakes. “What happened?”

Yona who was being comforted by Sandbar answered sobbing “Yona smash broken pony!”

Sandbar clarified. “She thought Miss Tempest was being mean to Silverstream and charged. Turns out they were just talking and Miss Tempest was helping Silverstream overcome her fear of her.”

Starlight moved over to Twilight. “How bad is it?”

“Honestly it looks worse than it is. Nothing broken just bruised and a few fractured bones.” Twilight said.

“Her horn looks pretty broken to me. Kinda gross to.” Trixie said.

“Dude! Rude!” Flash said.

Twilight pointed her hoof at the two suspended ponies. “Do I even want to know?”

“Magic potion mishap. I need to take them to Zecora to fix their minds.” Starlight told the alicorn.

“Starlight did you brainwash them? I told you to quit brainwashing ponies.” Twilight scolded her student like a mother catching their child stealing cookies from the jar.

“It was an accidental brainwashing, and accidental brainwashings don’t count.” Starlight tried to defend.

“Trixie is hungry.” Trixie complained floating upside down.

“Yeah babe can you make us a sandwich or something?” Flash asked.

“Hey that's sexist!” Trixie scolded.

“No I’m just asking cuz we're trapped here.”

“Yeah right pig. Trixie wants a sandwich to sweetie but unlike this jerk here Trixie will help in the kitchen. Trixie can cook a great can of beans over a campfire.” Trixie wiggled her eyebrows certain her mare would swoon over her culinary skills.

“No. No eating we need to get to Zecora. Twilight you got this?” Starlight gestured to the unconscious pony.

“Yeah I got this. Go deal with dumb and dumber.” The princess decreed. Starlight need no more encouragement and headed out the school door.

“You’re dumber.” Trixie told Flash.

“No you.” Flash fired back.

“Ugh Celestia? Luna? Is this some kind of punishment for switching your cutie marks?” Starlight complained to the heavenly sisters. Of course neither goddess answered the cry.

“Are the princesses here?” Flash asked.

“No you moron. It was an expression.” Starlight said.

“Hey Glim-Glam you think Twilight and that other mare will hook up? Twilight is totally in lesbians with her.” Trixie told her.

“Yeah I think they’ll hook up. Hopefully in three more weeks.” Starlight said.

“Hey babe, You think they’d be down with a orgy with me and you?” Flash asked.

“Ugh your such a perv. Still Glimmy-Shimmy you think they’d be down with the two of us? I got to admit I had a bit of a crush on Twilight and if you look past the freaky broken horn the other mare is kinda hot.” Trixie asked.

“I can change this spell to where you guys can’t talk either. I’m being nice using the version that lets you talk. Don’t make me stop being nice.” Starlight said heading for the Everfree Forest.

Twilight was still trying to mend the wounds on her new captain. After a few minutes Tempest began to stir slowly coming back from her second unplanned nap in the last hour alone. She looked up into the face of a beautiful mare. “Ugh am I dead? Because you look like an angel.” the mulberry warrior said groggily.

Twilight blushed like a schoolfilly. “Fizzlepop it’s me Twilight.” The scared mare eyes went wide and she stood up far too quick for anypony who had just been hit like she had. “Fizzlepop be careful. Don’t put too much weight on your foreleg. I’m afraid this injury hurt the leg you broke before you came to Ponyville.”

Tempest blushed like never before praying to whichever devine entity this situation fell under the jurisdiction of that Twilight didn't hear her call her an angel. “I’m fine Twilight, see?” Tempest put a tiny bit more weight on said leg and almost immediately crashed to the ground.

“Fizzle!” Twilight exclaimed catching the mare.

“Okay maybe not that fine.” Tempest was forced to sit on her haunches.

“Here let's go to your room. I’ll teleport us in just a second.” Twilight turned to address the students. “Ok everycreature move along. Miss Berrytwist will be fine in a few days.” With the students sent along Twilight teleported herself and Tempest to the warrior’s new room in the castle. Twilight laid the mare down in her bed gently with her magic. She noticed a weird look on the injured mare’s face. “Are you ok Fizzlepop?”

“Yeah bit sore and all but fine.”

“Then what's with that look on your face? You look like your uncomfortable. Do you want me to get you anything?”

“No I’m fine its just…” Tempest trailed off looking away to avoid eye contact. “...You know it’s been awhile is all.”

Twilight cocked her head to the side. “Been awhile since what?”

“I felt magic surround me like that. Since before my horn.” Tempest taped the broken appendaged.

Twilight sat down on the edge of the bed. “I’m still not sure I follow. Is magic different for you now? I know it’s more chaotic but does it feel different?”

Tempest nodded. “Yeah. I wasn’t sure I remembered it right but being teleported just now confirmed I was. It’s like sinking into a warm bath after a long day with a slight tingle to it to. It’s relaxing.”

“And how does it feel with your horn broken?”

“Like ice cold water rushing down your spine and straight out your head. And that little tingle more like a painful shock right to your skull. It hurts but I got use to it.”

“Is there no way to fix your horn?”

“I doubt it, even the Storm King probably just lied about that. If it’s just a chip or a crack in your horn it can be fixed but the whole thing being broken is just too much.”

“Oh.” Twilight said disappointed. She wanted to help her friend but she also knew Tempest had looked into it all her life. Still Twilight saw lots of books about horn injuries in her future.

“Hey Twilight thanks for all this help and do me a favor. Don’t be too hard on the Yak kid they just wanted to protect their friend.”

“Don’t worry, I'll give them a stern lecture on assumptions and not learning what's really going on before getting involved in something but thats all I plan on doing.” Twilight explained.

“Good. Those are the kids that saved the school right or at least some of them right?” Twilight gave Tempest a nod. “Good can you send them to my office once I get healed up. I want to talk to them all. I’ll write up an official proposal for you first.”

“Okay. Now I want you to wait here for a bit I’ll grab us some food and some books to read. Do not fall asleep. Silverstream told me you had just woken up from her knocking you out when Yona knocked you out again.”

Tempest gave a little salut as Twilight teleported out of the room. As soon as the purple mare disappeared Tempest hopped out of bed. Careful to avoid putting weight on the forehoof that was still healing when a yak charged her. She scrambled around her spartan bedroom frantically searching. “Where is it? Where is it? Where is that bucking poster?”

“So ya see if ya find somethin’ embarassin’ like a love letter or a embarrisin’ picture of a friend of yers. The right thing to do would be ta give it back to em.” Apple Bloom explained to the student she had been tutoring.

“Thanks Apple Bloom I feel much better about that friendship test tomorrow. Anyway I should be heading off. See you around.”

“See ya and don’t forget to be honest. Since it’s ma sister’s test that’ll be on there somewhere fer sure.” Applebloom waved goodbye. She turned the corner to head home for the day when she almost stepped on a rolled up poster. “No look here. I’m talking about pictures and here's a poster. I wonder if it’s somecritter’s project. I better look and see if they wrote their name on it.” Apple Bloom unfurled the poster and turned red as her brother as soon as she saw the painting of wet mane Twilight. “Whoa Nelly. I… I… just... wow.”

“Apple Bloom I finished ma last class where ya at?” Apple Bloom heard her sister calling.

The bow wearing farmer rolled the poster back up and stuffed it into her saddle bags. Unfortunately almost half of it stuck out the top. “Ah’m comin’ sis!” Apple Bloom called out. She ran around the corner to see Applejack waiting for her. “Howdy sis ya ready to get home?”

“Sure am sugarcube. Hey what’s ya got there?” A.J. asked pointing to the poster.

Apple Bloom tried not to panic. “That’s um just a poster of Rainbow Dash in her Wonderbolt uniform. Scootaloo wanted me to take it to the clubhouse.”

“Oh can I see it?”

“No!” A.J raised an eyebrow at her sister and Apple Bloom knew she had to salvage this. “I mean it was just kinda hard ta get in my saddlebags without bendin’ it. Plus it looks just like tha one Rainbow showed ya last week.”

“Ain’t Scootaloo got one to then?” A.J. asked.

“Yeah but she wanted one for the club house. Ya know who Scootaloo is.” Apple Bloom spun her hoof around her head. Signing that the other crusader was a little crazy.

“Ha I reckon she is when it comes to Rainbow Dash. Still it’s a good thing she has an honest friend like you to look out fer her.” Applejack said obliviously. “I’m proud of ya sis.” A.J said patting her sister’s head.

Apple Bloom stood there a moment feeling guilty as her sister walked off. Once she was out of earshot Apple Bloom glared at the poster. “Well buck me like an apple tree.”

Falling Into Place

“Okay now I told you how I absorb ponies’ magic, now tell me how in Tartarus we’re getting out of… Tartarus.” Tirek asked after finishing his diagram of the magic absorption process.

Cozy finished her notes and spat her pencil out of her mouth. “Oh you’re so silly Mr Tirek. I’m just a cute wittle filly. I can’t get us out of here.”

Tirek yelled in the young ponies’ face. “WHAT! You said you could get us out of here!”

“No. I said I had a plan but we’d need an alicorn to get us out of here.” A cruel smile twisted the young filly’s face. “Fortunately I know just the one.”

Tirek quirked an eyebrow. “You mean Twilight? Why would she free us? She’s the one who put us down here in case you forgot.”

“Golly friend you really don’t get it do you. The key to a good evil plan is to turn your enemies’ greatest strength into a weakness.” Cozy explained.

“What’s Twilight’s greatest strength than? Her magic?” Tirek guessed.

Cozy laughed in the minotaur's face. “No silly. It’s Friendship.”

“Great friendship saves the day.” Tirek sarcastically said. “Forgive me if I’m a bit sceptical.”

“No not boring old friendship. I’m talking about Friendship.” Cozy clarified. “You didn’t capitalized it.”

Tirek rolled his eyes. “What's the difference?”

“One is when two or more creatures really like care for each other in a non-romantic way. The other is the most powerful source of magic in all of Equestria.” Cozy explained.

“So how are you going to convince Twilight to free us while still being trapped down here?” Tirek asked.

“I don’t need to convince Twilight to free us. I just need her to cast a specific spell and I also need this.” Cozy dug up a small box. She opened the box and pulled out a small object wrapped in cloth. “This is the key to our freedom, our revenge, our conquest of Equestria. This Mister Tirek is the key to our future.”

Tirek leaned in close as Cozy unwrapped the object. The moment he saw It he recoiled back. “Ewww! Is that what I think It is.”

“Yes, It is.” Cozy said looking at It like It was made of solid gold. “Isn’t It amazing?”

“It is disgusting is what It is.” Tirek said from the corner of his cage farthest from It.

Cozy saw her minatur friend cowering and smiled that sadistic smile of her’s. “Oh golly look at me being so rude, hogging It all for myself. Do you want to hold It Mister Tirek?”

Tirek’s eyes were wide with fear. “Cozy Glow I swear don’t you dare. Keep that thing far away from me.”

Cozy started walking over to the minotaur holding it out in her hoof. “Come on buddy, TOUCH IT!”

Tirek screeched in terror and began to run in circles as he was chased by the filly. After a few minutes he tripped allowing the little filly to jump onto him. Shaking with fear he begged. “Please have mercy.”

Cozy cruel face came closer and closer to the minotaur as did It until. “Boop.” She tapped his nose with It.

Tirek turned green and knocked the cackling pony off him as he rushed to the side of his cage and began puking while Cozy for her part was rolling on the ground laughing.

The student six sat inside Twilight's castle in what was once a large storage area that had been converted into barracks for the Friendship Knights. The various creatures stood staring at a door labeled Captain Berrytwist.

"So who's going to knock?" Smolder asked.

"Well I'm not knocking." Gallus said shaking his head.

“Are you sure it's us she wanted to see. Maybe she was looking for another changeling." Ocellus whimpered backing away from the door.

"Well Yona no knock. Last time Yona knocked, Yona knocked pony out." Yona said nervously.

"Well someone has to knock." Sandbar told them but made no move to knock himself.

Silverstream thought back to what Tempest had told her about not being afraid. She took a deep breath and repeated Headmare Twilight's calming technique and knocked.

After a moment the door opened as the scared mulberry unicorn opened it. "Ah you're here, come on in." Tempest said stepping aside to let the six kids come in. Hesitantly they walked passed the mulberry mare and tensed at the sound of the door locking behind them. “Please have a seat. There should be enough.” Tempest said gesturing to two sofas and a few chairs in the large room.

“So… are we in trouble?” Silverstream asked tapping her claws together nervously.

“YONA SORRY SHE CRUSH PONY!” The yak screamed deafening the room.

“No one is in trouble.” Tempest reassured them taking a seat behind her desk.

“Really?” Gallus asked. “What are you cool with getting knocked out twice in less time than it takes to make popcorn?”

“I wouldn’t say cool with it.” Tempest told them. “But I am impressed Yona and Silverstream were able to knock me out. I know it seems like I go down so easily, like it’s a gag in some dumb story but usually I’m pretty tough. Plus I’m also told if it wasn't for you we’d all be bowing to the Empress of Friendship Cozy Glow by now, Is that correct?”

Smoulder leaned back checking her claws. “Yeah we kicked some major ass that day.” She said smugly.

“We did help save Equestria.” Occelus shyly spoke up.

“Good because I want to recruit you kids.” Tempest told them. “You kids will be Friendship Squires.”

“Yona likes squirrels. They have cute fluffy tails.” Yona cheered bouncing on her couch.

“Not squirrels Yona, squires, it’s like a young knights in training.” Sandbar told her.

“So we get to be soldiers?” Smolder asked. “Do we get weapons? Can we kill people?”

“Nope, not soldiers.” Tempest said shutting that ideal quickly. “If you were soldiers at your guy’s age that would be a war crime, and part of my parole is not to commit anymore of those. No you kids will just help me maintain the Knights. Help with odd jobs and right now I need help recruiting ponies and other creatures. During emergencies you kids will help manage evacuations by guiding folks to down the evacuations routes and taking a head count.”

“So were glorified gophers?” Sandbar asked. “Bummer.”

“Hey I'm sure some pony would try and trap ponies in a magic mirror or something over a gopher job.” Tempest stood. “Look kids. I can’t officially order you into battle but you handled yourselves well with Cozy Glow. If Equestria needs heroes you kids will rise to the occasion, just let us old folks give it a shot first. Plus as Friendship Squires you’ll basically be guaranteed spots in the Friendship Knights when you are old enough. Hell I’ll even bump you up one rank in the guard upon officially joining.”

The six looked at each other exchanging smiles and nods. “Where do we sign up Captain Berrytwist?” Silverstream asked saluting the unicorn.

Tempest smiled handed out papers to everycreature. “Alright recruits I want you here at sixteen-hundred hours sharp. I want you to write some letters home asking for creatures that think they’ve got what it takes to join this illustrious unit. Any questions?” each of the kids raised whatever appendage they had. Tempest sighed. “Sixteen-hundred is four o’clock, I want you here after school. Now that that’s cleared up any other questions?”

Everyone put their limbs down and shook their heads ‘no’.

“In that case you’re dismissed.” Tempest told them as she returned to her desk. Once the kids were gone she pulled out some paper and started writing.

Late at night wind blew across Sweet Apple Acres as a young filly with a bow in her hair sat on a hill. Apple Bloom choked back a few sobs. She had just gotten into an argument with her family or at least it seemed that way.

She heard somepony coming up behind her their horseshoes crunching the leaves in a way that she recognized. Only one pony took strides that long and wore horseshoes. “I was really hoping ya’d turn up.” She said staring up at the moon. “I really hoped Applejack didn’t really call me those things.” Applejack felt her guest sit down next to her.

“Yes Apple Bloom twas just a nightmare.” Princess Luna said sitting down next to the filly joining her to look at the night sky she didn’t paint.

“Ya like what I did to the sky?” the young farmer asked.

It was nothing special but it was rare to see a dreamer take the time to dream a whole sky. Moon and stars and even clouds drifted lazily by over the dreamer and the night princess. “Yes tis a lovely night sky.” the nocturnal princess told the dreaming filly. “Apple Bloom, what hardship corrupts thou dreams?”

Apple Bloom stared out over at the moon that would vanish when she woke. Minutes passed as the filly and the ancient princess sat in silence, one trying to calm her mind to reply the other sitting with the patience earned from a thousand year imprisonment. “Princess Luna, can a mare love another mare?”

Luna wrapped a wing around the filly. “Dear Apple Bloom thou knows the answer. Thou hast seen mares in relationships here in Ponyville. Lyra and Bon Bon, Octavia and Vinyl Scratch, even thy’s friend Scootoloo is cared for by her aunts.” Luna looked towards the child. “Perhaps the question you really want to know is if it is ok for thou to love mares.”

Apple Bloom looked down at her hooves. “I reckon that’s really what I want to know. Like ya said I know plenty a ponies that are gay.” She paused for a moment. “Luna I think I might be gay.”

“How hast thou realized this?” Luna asked.

“I found this poster of Twilight looking all seductive with her mane wet and her eyes all flirty like and I felt somethin’ I ain’t never felt before. Scootoloo got her hooves on a Playmare magazine and I didn’t feel nothin lookin at the stallions and they was showin off a lot more than Twilight’s poster.” Apple Bloom explained pulling out the poster in question or at least it’s dream counterpart.

Luna looked over the poster with a smile on her face. “Indeed this recruitment poster would certainly make stallions stand at attention.”

Apple Bloom lightly punched the princess. “Dang nabbit Luna that’s nasty.”

Luna laughed a bit. “I suppose so but thou are no longer a little filly. Thou is growing into a mare and during that transition it is natural to explore one’s romantic and sexual preferences. Now Apple Bloom tell me, dost thou know where baby foals and fillies come from.”

Apple Bloom blushed. “Yeah my sister and brother gave me the apples and pears talk and… Holy hay that was about our parents! Ew now it’s three times as gross!” the young farmer cried in disgust.

“While that sounds like an unusual way to explain it it seem thou no longer believes childish stories about storks or cabbage patches.” Luna told her.

Apple Bloom laughed. “I was told baby ponies were grew on trees like apples and there were orchards like our’s that parents went to to pick a baby.”

“So dost thou have a crush on Twilight? She is a princess and thou wouldn't be the first young pony to harbor a crush on a princess of Equestria.” Luna asked.

Apple Bloom shrugged. “I mean she’s purdy but I don’t think I like her like that. But once I saw this poster I started noticing other fillies.” Apple Bloom pointed down the dream hill to a young pony stood. The filly had a pink coat and a purple and white mane topped with a tiara.

“Diamond Tiara. She has come a long way since she lost the class election hasn’t she?” Luna asked.

“Yeah, she's become a good friend now that she ain’t such a bully.”

Luna sat with the filly she used her magic to ensure that the Diamond before them was a creation of Apple Bloom’s sleeping mind, once sure that they were the only two real ponies in this dream Luna continued. “When I first arrived thou expressed relief that this was a dream and that thou sister hadn’t truly insulted you. Is that what you fear? That thou family will not accept thee when they learn of who thou loves?”

Apple Bloom teared up. “Applejack, or Dream Applejack called me a disgusting fillyfooler and kicked me out of tha house and disowned me.”

Luna again wrapped a wing around the filly pulling her close. “I see thou knows Applejack has never treated any of those ponies who loves another mare differently, but I know the fear you feel. Without parents Applejack had to become a blend of sister and mother to you much like Celestia has unto me. Like you I was terrified to come out to Tia.”

Apple Bloom pulled out of the feathery embrace. “Hold up. You’re gay?”

Luna nodded she pointed down the hill where the dream Diamond Tiara was talking to another mare. The new mare had blueish grey fur with a mane and tail of snowwhite and a darker blue than her coat. “Her name was Snowdrop. She made snow gentle and soft like you ponies know today by shaping it into shapes that sounded like the stars did to her. She never saw my night sky as she was blind but she heard it and appreciated it like no other, even I did not see the sky like she did. To her it was a beautiful symphony. When she died I felt truly alone and it was on the fifth anniversary of ours that I had celebrated by visiting her grave that I became Nightmare Moon.”

Apple Bloom watched the two dreamer’s loves talk at the bottom of the hill. “How’d Princess Celestia take it?”

“You have to understand that this was long ago and ponies were a bit more close minded. That said, while some nobles raised a fuss my sister was nothing but supportive. After my banishment she tended to Snowdrop’s grave so that even a thousand years later, when cities I know were abandoned while new ones rose, even when everything else had changed my love’s final resting place remained exactly the same.” Luna reminisced. “We are very fortunate Apple Bloom, for while they may drive us insane our older sister truly do love us. Tell Applejack how you feel as nothing will ever change the love she has for you. Plus you may find you and thou sister has more in common than thine thinks.” With that Luna vanished.

Apple Bloom watched the night princess fade from the dreamscape before looking back down to the mares at the foot of the hill. Now there was a third mare joining in the distant conversation with white fur and a purple mane. “Huh guess me and sis got similar taste in mares. We like elegant classy ladies.” She started to wake up leaving dream Diamond Tiara, Snowdrop and Rarity behind.

Author's Note

I live! Sorry this took so long but between wanting to catch up on the last season and then getting distracted by some other fics i’m working on this one kinda got forgotten. Like I forgot how long it had been since I last updated it. Anyway while I was writing this chapter I checked the wiki for Tempest and I always assumed she came from some far way place but it seem like there is a good chance she lived in Ponyville. She lived in a town that you can see Canterlot from near a dangerous forest and the wiki says she even attended Ponyville school where Cheerilee teaches. It’s not confirmed but I think I want to do something with that plus it fills in a little plot hole I noticed.

A Knight's Call

A hard smack on stone echoed across the barren rocks as a staff cracked the ground beneath it. “Listen up you dumb losers.” Dragon Lord Ember roared to the dragons gathered around her. “I got a letter from Smolder, the dragon we sent to learn friendship from the ponies. Now shut up so I can read this, everyone of you need to hear this, it’s important.”

“Hey everyone especially my bro. I’ve got the offer of a lifetime for you dorks. You remember that pony that worked for the storm king, Tempest Shadow? Well she’s working for Twilight now and she’s founding the most awesome guard organization ever.”

Some dragons laughed but one dragon was already packing his bags. If his sister was supporting it Garble may as well give it a shot.

In Griffonstone, Gabby had gotten a crowd to for around her as she was reading a letter from Gallus.

“It’s called the Friendship Knights. It’s a group dedicated to protecting Ponyville, the school and the castle and everyone who lives here. You get a nice shiny suit of armor and stuff and it pays really good. And I know most of you don’t care but it’s a good cause or whatever.”

Gilda had heard enough while muttering about dumb ponies and friendship she threw some clothes in a bag and set off for Ponyville.

The changeling hive was a buzz of activity as changelings listened to King Thorax read them the latest letter from Ocellus.

“It will be tough but we can do it if we are determined enough. So anyone who feels like they got what it takes come on down to Ponyville and give it a go. This is a great way to give back to the ponies after everything they did for us. Freeing us from Chrysalis and teaching us about friendship.

Pharynx scratched his chitinous chin. He wasn’t very good at friendship like the rest of the Hive but he was a good soldier. Threats to Equestria threatened every creature on the continent. He walked off to pack. His brother could handle the hive, but a soldier's duty was never truly over. There was always some war that needed fighting.

Across the snowy north Yaks listened as Rutherford read.

“Yona know Yak strong and brave. Broken Pony needs Yak strength to keep friends safe. Ponies understand Yak, they help when home buried in snow. Now Yak turn to help friends.”

Off in the distance Horwitz listened to the news. After adjusting his glasses he turned to make his travel preparations. History was being made in Ponyville and for once he wouldn't just record it but live it.

On the shores to an audience both in the sea and on land the Hippogriffs read Silverstream’s letter.

“I know some of you may be scared of Tempest Shadow and that’s ok. Fizzlepop Berrytwist, that's her real name by the way, taught me that it’s ok to be afraid so long as you don’t let it control you. I mean knocked Fizzlepop out! She did give me a free punch though but still! I guess what I’m trying to say is you don’t have to live in fear. It’s time to show everyone our courage! Because courage isn’t about not being afraid. It’s about overcoming that fear. So if you're feeling courageous you’d be great for the Friendship Knights.”

A few Hippogriffs seemed interested but still hesitant. One Hippogriff wasn’t at all hesitant. Princess Skystar knew when it was time to stand up to your fears and do the right thing and this was one of those times. Now she just had to convince her mom to agree to it.

Back in Ponyville the towns ponies listened as Sandbar finished reading off his little speech.

“So in closing, the Friendship Knights are a perfect opportunity to make a difference. To help you fellow creature by helping defend the light of friendship so it will never be snuffed out. Also you get all the benefits awarded to members of the Equestrian military, such as tax breaks, and a free college education.” Sandbar finished reading his letter as all the other creatures around the world finished their’s.

Tempest Shadow stepped up to the podium giving Sandbar an appreciative nod as she passed. “Thank you all for listening to Sandbar and giving us your time to be here today. If there are any questions or if you are interested in joining the Friendship Knights please see me at our booth or schedule an appointment with Starlight Glimmer. We also invite you to take a pamphlet as you leave. Again, thank you for your time.”

Most of the ponies in town grabbed a pamphlet out of courtesy but had no intentions of joining the guard. They all had lives and careers already that they had no intention to leave behind. Plus they’d rather not put their lives on the line the next time a horrifying monster came by. Only one pony was brave enough to go to the booth that Tempest had set up.

“Excuse me Temp?” A walleyed pegasus asked. “I had a question about your little military thing.”

Tempest Shadow sat up from her slouch she had fallen into as she watched the crowd vacate without so much as glancing at her booth. “Sure Derpy, I’ll do my best to answer you.”

“I was wondering, would the Equestrian Military pay for my daughters’ tuition if I joined the Knights?” Derpy asked. “I thought about going back to college but I never did well in school and I think Dinky or Spakler would have a better shot at it than me.”

Tempest looked curiously. “I thought you only had Dinky? You never mentioned another kid on our train ride.”

Derpy smiled. “Sparkler is my oldest. She’s a teenager and gets embarrassed when I brag about her. Why did you think I forgot about her like some dumb fanfic author?” She asked laughing.

Tempest chuckled as well not getting the joke but playing along. If she didn’t get anypony else Derpy would still be a good start if she could do what she did to Jackal repeatedly. “Yeah I have some wiggle room in the rules for the guard and if you want to give you college tuition money that’s fine with me. Plus with the age difference between your kids by the time Dinky is getting ready for college I’d say you’ll have earned another free tuition. They’re like a decade apart in age right?”

Derpy nodded. “Yeah Sparkler is eleven years older than Dinky.” Derpy said.

“Anyone who sticks with the hardships of military life for so long deserves it. Now you still have to qualify for this you know?” Tempest told her. “Also while we will primarily be in Ponyville I’ll need some folks to travel with the princess when she travels to official events. You might not always be able to be home with your family. I’ll work with you when I can but if I tell you I need you in Canterlot or wherever you’ll just have to suck it up, be it on a birthday or a holiday, you’ll be there in you armor standing by Princess Twilight. Understand?”

Derpy nodded again. “Don’t worry Tempy, I’ll serve the Knights with the same loyalty and dedication as I do the postal service.”

“Ok then when we actually have a unit I’ll let you know when basic begins. I’ll need you for about a month to turn you into a soldier. You’ll still be in Ponyville for most of it but the last week will be a little camping trip. Can you do that?”

Once more Derpy nodded. “If I can help ponies, prove I’m more than a walking accident and get my babies a good education I’ll be the best soldier I can be. Doctor Whooves can take care of Dinky and Sparkle mostly stays in Canterlot at Princess Celestia’s school.”

“Good. Fill out these forms, I’ll talk to your boss so that you can have the time off without losing your job at the post office.” Tempest said pushing a stack of paperwork to Derpy who took a quill in her mouth. The pegasus and the unicorn worked in tandem as Tempest explained legal jargon as best she could and Derpy signed. Once all was done Tempest filled the papers away and stood to shake Derpy’s hoof. “Alright thats it. Ms Hooves I think you have the potential to be a fine soldier.”

Derpy saluted using the wrong hoof, Tempest would fix that in training. “Thanks Tempy. I’ll make you proud.”

“Go talk to your family make sure your daughters are ok with this and that you have someone who can watch Dinky." Tempest told the mailmare.

Derpy trotted off with a nod. Leaving Tempest alone to glance over the top of the booth at the staggering lack of recruits.

"You know it's the darndest thing." Tempest sat up looking for the source of the voice but couldn't find it. "I thought I'd be the first creature you'd ask if you were forming a new military force." Tempest leaned over the booth to look down and there she saw a hedgehog looking over a pamphlet. "I thought we made a pretty good team. Tempest Shadow the badass and Grubber her amazing comic relief sidekick."

"I thought you had became a baker, I didn't want to drag you back if you were happy." Tempest told her former assistant.

"I did but did you know your supposed to sell the things you bake and not eat it? Like what's the point I'm just going to use the bits to buy sweets anyway." Grubber complained.

"Well if that's the case I'd really like to have you back. I think Starlight will kill me if I drop anymore paperwork on her desk for her to fill out." Tempest told the hedgehog.

"So you need a hard working reliable assistant?" Grubber asked.

"Yeah, but I'll settle for you." Tempest said ruffling Grubber's head.

Grubber laughed as he playfully tried to swat the broken unicorn's hoof away.

"I hope I'm not interrupting a reunion darling." Rarity's posh accent get the pairs attention. "I wanted to speak to you about the armour for the Knights darling and if your available I have your person set of barding ready Ms. Berrytwist."

Tempest nodded. "Sure I have time. Grunber stay here and help anyone interested sign up. I doubt anyone but Derpy will be her but just in case I want someone manning the booth."

"Excellent. If you'll follow me darling we'll get you fitted." Rarity said leading them off in the direction of her boutique. Tempest gave Grubber a quick salute that the hedgehog returned before she trotted up to Rarity. “Now darling I don’t mean to boast but I do believe this armour I made is the best work I’ve ever done. Twilight also told me of your intentions to open the guard to all creatures so I made sure that to make variate designs for every creature.”

“Thank you for doing this Rarity. I really appreciate all the work you’re doing.” Tempest told the elegant mare.

“Oh thank nothing of it darling, I am the Element of Generosity after all. Not to mention working for such a prestigious organization is certain to attract potential customers.” Rarity reassured.

It wasn’t far from the town center where the meeting was held to Carousel Boutique. Once inside Rarity lead Fizzlepop over to a table covered with a purple cloth. “Fizzlepop Berrytwist, prepare to be amazed!” With the glow of the fashionista's magic the cloth was pulled off to reveal the armor underneath.

Tempest reached out to touch the armor gently running her hoof across it in disbelief. “It’s perfect.” Before her laid a full barding set of a rich purple that matched Twilight’s coat trimmed with golden edges and silver accents.

“Would you like to try it on?” Rarity asked.

“Definitely.” Tempest stated as Rarity held out a coat made of simple cloth that connected four chainmail legs in her magical grasp for Tempest to step into. Then Tempest picked up the criniere and place it to her neck attaching it with leather straps. The piece was made of seven lames connected by rivets that allowed the metal segments to slide over each other ensuring that Tempest could move her head about as much as she could unarmored. After that came the flanchards that estened from her hind quarters to about her ribs again with lames to let it slide for better flexibility it hung down about an inch from the top of the chainmail legs. Then a peytral was strapped to her chest that overlapped the flanchards by a few inches and also gave the chainmail legs an inch of wiggle room before they would expose flesh to an attack.

“And now the pièce de résistance, the chanfron.” Rarity said levitating the helm over to Tempest. It fastened into place over the mare with a small holes for her horn and ears. It had a visor that slid down over the face and a curtain of chainmail that hung down from the bottom covering the gap between the neck armor and chanfron. On the forehead of the chanfron was a rondel made of silver with the circle decorated with images of the five element around the central element of magic.

Tempest stood admiring herself in the mirror. Rarity walked up beside the armored mare. “Now that is a mare who any Princess would be proud to call her knight.”

Tempest nodded. “Now to prove to everyone I’m worthy of it.”

Author's Note

Hey peeps, so I learned that barding is the technical term for horse armor and all those names for the pieces of armor are the names according to wikipedia. A lot of them had alternative names so if you know them as something else its probably on of the other names they listed but I just used the first name they had. Also in the show the guard ponies armor are based on greek and roman armors it looks like. The armor Rarity made is much more medieval. The show’s armor dosen’t cover the sides, legs or even the throat just the side of the neck. This armor covers pretty much every bit of them.

Knights and Chewing Gum

"This is stupid and unsanitary." Tirek mumbled through his full mouth.

"Less talking more chewing." Cozy Glow complained as she put a hooffull of gum into her mouth.

"If I wasn't so desperate to get out of here…" Tirek gripped but kept chewing the gum.

"Alright maggots!" Tempest yelled to the assemblage of creatures. "Today is both the day you die and your new birthday! I will destroy the old you and build a warrior from the broken pieces! Today the old you dies and like a phoenix your be born anew! Hopefully into something actually useful to me."

Tempest began walking back and forth along the line of cadets about twenty in total. Mostly ponies but a few other creatures were sprinkled in. "Look to your left." She ordered. "Now right. Look in front and behind you." She let them glance about as she ordered. "All those people you looked at won't make the cut. The only way one of them will make it is if you don't make the cut instead. Lt. Grubber!" She called.

The hedgehog ran over saluting. "Yes Captain Tempest."

"Show the fresh meat what their prize of showing up today is. " Tempest said with a cruel smirk.

"Yes ma'am. Today you all get your very own rucksack filled with a bunch of sweet goodies from us to you." Grunber said pointing to a pile of bags and a pile of equipment.

"Let's get started worms. Go grab a bag from Lt. Grubber and I'll show you what all the fun toys a soldier gets to play with." Tempest watched as the cadets moved over to the bags and began to gather around the mountain of equipment.

Once everyone had a bag Tempest walked in front of the mountain of gear with a bag of her own. "You will carry your essentials yourself. Though desert and tundra, and everything in between the things I'm about to show you will be your constant companion." Tempest opened her bag and begam pulling things out.

"Food, dehydrated by magic so all you need is to add water to eat it. Water, to drink of course and to rehydrate your meals. Firestarters, I don't care if you're a unicorn and can make fire with your horn, you might be too drained to do it one day. Flashlights, again even for unicorns. Compass, first aid kit, and camping gear. This will include a sleeping bag, ax to cut wood and a shovel to clear the ground and dig latrines if we're going to be staying in a place for a while. Each of you will also carry pieces of a tent. Four of you to a tent so the tents will be split between four cadets." Tempest pointed to the equipment. "Get packed. Me and Lt. Grubber will be checking your bags to see if you fucked it up."

The cadets began moving to the equipment. Including a grumpy dragon. Garble stuffed his bag full of the stuff Tempest mentioned quickly filling it up. He was confident that a dragon like him would make all these ponies look like chumps. He reached to grab one of the tent pieces and ended up bumping his claw with a large hoof. "Hey, watch it."

An old yak laughed. "My most sincere apologies compatriot. I noticed that the poles are likely the most cumbersome part of the tent and that I'd capitalize on my additional girth and lessen the burden upon our smaller brethren."

Garble looked confused processing the verbose yak. "Wait are you calling me weak?"

"Oh no my good sir. In fact, I would say that despite my age me and you are likely the strongest here do to our inherent biology. We both should aid our fellow cadets by shouldering the heavier burden." The Yak said adjusting his glasses.

"Oh you mean these ponies and other creatures are way weaker than us." Garble said. "Why didn't you just say that. Names Garble by the way."

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance Mr. Garble. I am Horwitz, Historian to the Yaks. Or I was until I decided I'd rather experience history first hoof than read about it." Horwitz said.

"Hell yeah Gramps. We'll not just living history, we're making it. We get into this Friendship Knights thing and they'll be talking about us for hundreds of years as the very first of these dudes." Garble cheered.

"Indubitable." Horwitz concurred.

"Hey Old Man and Hot Head, less yapping and more packing!" Tempest said walking past the two.

Both saluted her. " Yes Captain Tempest Ma'am."

"You done Hot Head?" Tempest asked the dragon.

"Ma'am yes ma'am." Garble proudly saluted.

Tempest eyeballed the bulging sack. Garble had just shoved everything into it without any rhyme or reason. "You know I heard you can tell a lot about someone by how they pack. You know what your pack tells me about you?"

"No ma'am."

Tempest flipped Garble's pack upside down letting everything pour out onto the ground. "That you're a dumbass. Do it right this time. Pack it not cram it."

Eventually everyone had their bags packed. "Alright worms we are going to march from here to the training grounds where we'll do some P.T. which will soon become your favorite thing in the world. Move out!"

Tempest led the them while Grubber brought up the real herding any stragglers along. She marched them past Carousel Boutique, the town hall, Twilight's Castle and then to Sweet Apple Acres. She led them through the east orchard then to the town hall Twilight's castle, by Carousel Boutique then around Sugarcube corner. Next she took them by the castle, past the town hall, though the west orchard of Sweet Apple Acres. Afterward she led them under Rainbow's cloud home, around the Friendship School and back to the town hall.

Princess Skystar was exhausted by the second lap of the town. She caught up with the griffon in front of her. "Um hey. Is it just me or is Tempest lost?"

The griffon sighed. "No she's screwing with us on purpose. She's intentionally marching us in circles to wear us out and if we start to pick up the layout of the town we're defending that's a nice bonus."

Skystar huffed alongside the griffon. "Oh I guess that makes sense. Still how many more times do we have to snake through Ponyville?"

"I don't know. As many times as Captain Tempest wants I guess."

"Oh. Hey um my name is Princess Skystar, what's your name?" The young Hippogriff said.

"Nunya." The griffon said.

"Nunya. That's a unique name." The princess said.

"Yeah, Nunya Business." The griffon spat.

"Nice to meet you Nunya Business, I hope we can be friends." Skystar said smiling brightly.

The griffon sighed. "No you dork. I was messing with you. My name isn't Nunya Business, I was saying that… ugh nevermind. I'm Gilda."

"Oh. Nice to meet you Gilda. So you were messing with me because that's what friends do right? Little bit of light teasing." Skystar said.

"Yeah sure whatever" Gilda said. "So are you really a princess?"

"Well not like the princesses here where they're in charge but where I'm from princess means your the daughter of the person in charge. My mom is Queen Nova. She's the one in charge of the Hippogriffs." Skystar rambled.

"Yeah I know griffons have kings and queens too. Ponies just do it weird I guess." Gilda said. "Say kid, didn't Tempest Shadow like burn down your home? Why join up with her."

"I want to be more than just a princess. I want to make a difference. I know what it's like to feel helpless and afraid. I want to make sure no one else has to go through that." Skystar explained. "What about you?"

Gilda shrugged. "I heard it pays good. Griffons like getting paid."

Skystar laughed. "That's not the real reason Gilda."

"Nope, I'm just a normal selfish griffon trying to make some gold." Gilda said speeding up to get away from the princess.

Skystar caught up. "Don't worry Gilda you don't have to tell me if your not ready."

"Nothing to tell kid." Gilda said.

"I'm not a kid. I'm an adult." Skystar told them.

"You old enough to buy me liquor?" Gilda asked.

"Well... no. Can't you buy your own?" Skystar said pouting.

"I could but you're a princess. Figure I'd get you to pay, money bags." Gilda replied.

Skystar pouted even more. "First I wouldn't use the hippogriff's tax money on that. Secondly, I may not be allowed to drink but I can vote." Skystar finished proudly.

"So you're old enough to fuck?"

Skystar's eyes widened. "Well I mean… yes." She finished blushing.

Gilda looked the other girl up and down before shrugging. "Eh you'd have to get me drunk first. And you can't buy me a drink so as far as I'm concerned you're still a kid."

"Do you always judge others on how… sexy they are?" Skystar said blushing.

"Look kid there's only two types of adults in the world. Those who I can get drunk with or those I can have some fun with. Not to say I'm a slut. I have my fun but I'm awesome so anyone lucky enough to get with me has better be a ten out of ten." Gilda explained.

"So your pansexual?" Skystar asked.

Gilda shrugged. "I never bothered to label it, but if I see a nice piece of ass I go for it. What about you kid? What do you like to take home to warm your bed?"

Skystar gasped. "I don't know if that's an appropriate question."

Gilda laughed. "Of course it isn't. You're amongst soldiers now. From what I've seen the military is like ninety-nine percent inappropriate humor and one percent actual military shit."

"I don't know. I've never dated anyone." Skystar said quietly.

"Really? No sex? Skystar shook her head 'no'. "You ever kiss someone?" Another timid 'no'. "Damn we need to get you laid, tell you what I'll throw you a pity fuck. Or if you prefer we can go to Los Pegasus and hire you someone."

"What no! I would want my first time to be special." Skystar said.

Gilda shrugged. "Fine, fine. Just take my advice kid. I see a lot of folks waiting for just the right moment to pop their cherry but it's what you make it. It's fine to wait for the right pony just don't wait for the perfect time cause life's messy and you may never even get the chance. You may think you found the one but before you can take that plunge they up and leave you behind." Gilda said getting more emotional as she spoke.

"Wait, are you talking from experience? Was there someone you wanted to be with? Were they a pony? Because you specifically said 'the right pony' I think." Skystar rambled.

Gilda blushed. "What? No I don't get all mushy like that, just a thing I've seen. And I've never been with a pony they're all a bunch of dweebs and I don't fuck dweebs. No pony is awesome enough to get with me." Gilda said refusing to look up at the cloud home they were walking under.

A few ponies back a Changeling marched with a bored expression on his face. For Pharynx this was a walk in the park. This was all old hat to him after years of serving the hive. Yet here he was a veteran soldier having to prove himself alongside these useless rookies. The two directly behind him were driving him absolutely insane. A gray blonde mare and a green blond stallion.

"And that's when I knew I was destined for greater things. So no matter how much they begged I told them. 'Sorry but Princess Twilight needs the very best and that's me the one and only Zephyr Breeze." The stallion braged. "Rainbow Dash begged me not to join this thing because it was so dangerous but I knew that I couldn't turn away from my destiny."

"Oh You know Rainbow Dash. I help her out with the weather patrol sometimes. My name is Derpy." The mare said trying to make friendly conversation.

"That's right Muffins me and Dash have been in a relationship for years. She can be a bit clingy at times but I understand with as many mares that want me. "

"That's … neat. I don't think I've ever heard Dash mention you before oh and I said my name was Derpy but you called me Muffins. Which is an odd mistake to make. I mean I like Muffins but it's not all I like." Derpy complained.

"Classic Dash, too embarrassed to admit how much she loves me. I'm not surprised she didn't mention me to you Muffins. We've been dating for years. she chose me over this Griffon chick, Gilly or something." The idiot continued to brag.

Pharynx should just mind his business but he was bored. Plus that mare had been having to put up with his constant brags since they started marching. With his unique position in between a griffon that sounded like she might fit the bill. The changeling soldier say though her tough girl facade and saw the history she seemed to have with some pegasus. He decided to have some fun. He put some dragon and yak who seemed to have decided to lug all the heaviest equipment themselves and in the moment he was obscured shifted into the griffon. He wasn't sure how accurate it was but he figured hay-for-brains back there wouldn't recognize anyone but his own reflection.

He dropped back to them and pretended to just notice the stallion. "Zephyr!" He hissed in his new female griffon voice.

The stallion immediately stumbled. "Gilda! H-Hey how are you?" He asked, already starting to sweat.

"You son of a bitch!" Pharynx growled not really no anything about these two's history that he could use. Normally he'd study a target but there was something fun about the thrill of just bullshiting his way though a conversation.

"You um… not still made about me spreading rumors about you to try and drive a wedge between you and Dash are you?" Zephyr asked nervously.

Pharynx had to force back a smile at how easy this moron was making it. "I'm still a bit sore about that, yes."

Zephyr hopped out of the column of recruits. "You know now that I think about this I'm not sure this is the best place to make use of my many talents and skills. I'll just be on my way." And with that he ditched his pack and ran.

Pharynx laughed as he watched the stallion run. "Ha god I love fucking with guys like him." He said as he transformed back to his original look.

"Thank you Mr he was giving me a bit of a headache." Derpy said.

"No problem I was a few rows ahead and he was getting on my nerves. I'm Pharynx by the way." He told her.

"Derpy Hooves. Nice to meet you Mr. Pharynx." She said.

Pharynx watched the mare for a moment she wasn't even tired after their long walk. Her pack didn't even seem to slow her down and she seemed to mindlessly fall into step with him even though they weren't marching in sync yet she was smart to get used to it. She moved like a soldier but her eyes were too kind, maybe pony soldiers weren't as hardened as he was. After all, ponies weren't exactly known for invading other countries' capitals during weddings. Still he had to ask. "Do you have any military experience?"

Derpy laughed. "Not unless you count the postal service."

"Well I suppose I can give you partial credit for that. Us changelings have a legend about a mail courier who was shot in the head over a poker chip and ended up changing the fate of the region." Pharynx told her. "Anyway the reason I asked was because most of these creatures are huffing like fish out of water while you seem like you can do this all day."

"Well I am a single mom so I have to have a lot of energy." She told him with a friendly smile.

Pharynx nodded. "How many children?"

"Two daughters, Sparkler and Dinky." Derpy said.

"Are you doing this for them?"

"Everything I do is for my kids." Derpy said immediately. "You are very interested in my kids."

"My apologies if I overstepped." He apologized.

"No just pointing it out. Do you have any kids of your own."

"No I have a brother who I helped raise but no children of my own." He said.

"Do you want kids, because it sounds like you kinda do."

Pharynx didn't say anything at first they walked in silence for a while before he spoke. "I don't know if I'd be a good father."

"I said the same thing when I was pregnant with Sparkler. I was young and scared and a lot of ponies said I couldn't do it. I'm clumsy and I was scared I'd drop her or something. Some ponies said I should give her up to someone more… capable." She stared at the ground. "I thought about it, seriously thought about it. But on the day she was born I knew I wanted to be there for her. I think that as long as you're willing to put in the effort it works out."

Pharynx thought about it. "So just… be there for them? That's all?"

"Yeah. But you have to really be there not just be set dressing. When they get hurt kiss their booboos. When they come home with a broken heart be there for them to cry on. When they succeed at something they were struggling with be there to congratulate them. You'll already love them and the love will shine through on its own." Derpy advised.

"I think I can do that." Pharynx said.

"Tell you what you want a quick trail run you can always babysit Dinky. I love her but she can be a hooful."

"I think I may take you up on that Derpy." He said smiling at the mare.

Finally the group of tired soldiers were lead into the hoofball field outside the school of friendship after the tenth time they passed it. "Alright maggots! After that quick trip let's get started with the real workout!" Tempest Shadow called out.

"...Hormone magic. Hormel magic? What is it just the magic of beans? Horn magic bingo!" Twilight Sparkle said levitating the book off the bookshelf. "Right next to…" Twilight blushed seeing the next book titled 'Horny Magic'. The purple mare looked around before snatching that off the shelf as well.

She began pouring over the book before coming across a passage that sounded promising. 'Horn attachment'. She settled into her favorite nock to read and began her research.

"It's perfect!" Cozy Glow cheered. Looking in a small puddle of water at her reflection. Her face a bit dirty from a few weeks spent in pony hell but still smiling when she saw It stuck to her head with chewing gum. A top her head contrasting her pinkish coat was a mulberry horn.