BRICK

by Bok

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1261

Rainbow Dash misunderstands simple instructions with catastrophic consequences.

Rainbow Dash misunderstands simple instructions with catastrophic consequences.

Published 2019-02-01 14:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-01 14:10:01 UTC

BRICK

Rainbow Dash scratched her head, unsure of the letter that had arrived at her floating home. Derpy had insisted that she read it as soon as possible, and after fumbling through her mail bag and also somehow setting it on fire, the ditzy pegasus finally delivered the parcel to Dash, saluting on a job-okay-done and flying off in a zigzag pattern.

It was a letter from Rarity. Though almost impossible to read through the overly elegant cursive, Dash squinted at the complex squiggles until its meaning became clear.

Darling, the Mayor stressed to me how vitally important it is that I get it through your head what the sky is to be like today. To that purpose, I have added an illustration. I now stress to you that it must be done Exactly. As. Shown.
Tata,

Rarity

Rainbow Dash discovered another piece of paper was behind the one containing the letter, and apparently the shape that Rarity wanted her to make in the clouds. Dash didn't really handle weather stuff anymore since becoming a Wonderbolt, so it usually fell to other ponies to sort the clouds when the Mayor was holding some big ceremony. But Rarity was the coordinator of the event this time around, and she'd sneeze BRICKs if anything was even remotely out of place.

Taking out Rarity's drawing, Dash gazed upon it with wizened eyes, making sure to take in every last intricate detail.

She shrugged. "Well, if that's what she wants, I guess."

Keeping the drawing for reference, Dash tossed the letter behind her back and flew out of the front door and into the endless blue skies. As the echoes of her flight echoed into nothing, Tank emerged from Dash's sock drawer and began to eat the letter.

"I don't get it!" Twilight groaned, slamming her hooves on the table. The Cutie Map shuddered, its magical display flickering before once again returning to a glitched state.

"I've done everything! I've tried enchantments, hexes, black magic, pleading, turning it on and off again, but nothing's working!"

She slammed the table again, hoping more percussive maintenance would work. "No matter what I do, I can't fix the Cutie Map! This thing's BRICKed!"

Spike walked into the room, droopy-eyed and holding a cup of hot cocoa in his claws. "Twilight? You've been at this for days. You might just wanna relax."

Twilight craned her head back to the dragon with a frown. "Right, because you've been working so hard."

He shrugged. "Hey, that BRICK crushed my foot. Doctor says no heavy lifting or hard work for a week."

"Spike, that was three months ago."

"I want to be careful!"

She huffed, hopping down from her throne. "Well, maybe you're right anyway. Maybe a walk around town would do me some good. Wasn't there a festival today?"

Spike nodded. "Yeah. Actually, I think Rarity was put in charge of it. So..."

"So I guess we have to go."

Without another word, Spike sprinted out the door.

"Winona!"

Winona sprinted through the apple orchard, mistaking AJ's fury for playfulness. She had taken off with the farm's only good shovel, and like any good dog was going to bury it in a random location and never dig it up again.

To and fro she darted through the orchard, until the two earth ponies chasing after her were finally spent, and gasping for air.

"Dangit. Winona," AJ breathed, "you're sleeping on the porch from now on."

After sucking in enough air, she looked to her older brother. "We need that shovel, and knowing Winona she's gonna hide it someplace we'll never find it."

"Eyup."

"And we'll have to go into town to get a new one."

"Eyup."

Applejack sighed. "I swear, Winona just don't listen sometimes. It's like talkin' to a BRICK."

In the maddening realm of Discord, the mad spirit of chaos was playing a friendly game of Ogres & Oubliettes. Or at least, it started that way. Discord had been nominated by Pinkie and Fluttershy as the DM, but slowly the burden of gaoler master was stretching Discord's patience, as neither the earth pony nor his best friend seemed particularly interested in following any of the plot threads he was setting up.

Pinkie had broken the game several times by accidentally abusing game mechanics, Fluttershy insisted on trying to run away from or befriend every monstrosity they encountered, and they'd spent more time adventuring with a side character in a tavern rather than the handsome draconequus rogue that was meant to actually move the plot along.

"I roll to attack!" Pinkie declared, throwing the dice across the board.

Discord slapped a claw to his face. "Pinkie, your 'cake-barian' ran out of health, you can't attack!"

"Can I attack?" Fluttershy asked.

"No, Fluttershy, you can't, because you're still back in the town picking flowers!"

Pinkie hopped up. "Oh, I roll to pick flowers!"

Discord threw his claws up. "That's it! I'm done! Here's what happens: BRICKs fall, everypony is doomed! The ancient evil destroys the world! The end!"

"Hooray!" Pinkie cheered. "I was a sleeper agent the whole time!"

She grinned evilly. "You all fell for my twisted machinations."

"If we're done," Fluttershy said, "maybe we could go into town? Rarity's organizing that festival thing!"

"Yeah!" Pinkie agreed, sprinting out the front door and phasing back into normal reality.

"How does she do that?" Discord asked.

Fluttershy simply gave him that look, almost disappointed he had to ask.

By the fates aligning, the Elements of Harmony all ran into each other in town. With such a convenient sync in their schedules, everyone decided to meet in the town square for the festival, save Rainbow Dash and Rarity, who were already there. Once they'd gathered in the crowd in front of the city hall, the saw Mayor Mare rise up to the podium, clear her throat, and regard the citizens of Ponyville.

"Mares and Gentlecolts!" she declared, "It is with my great honor, and the generosity of our local businesspony Rarity, that we commence the Fiftieth Annual..."

The mayor trailed off, squinting at something in the sky. "Is that what I think it is?"

Dash nodded approvingly at the recognition of her work, but a jab in her sides by Rarity made her realize she'd screwed something up.

"What?" Dash asked.

Rarity pointed to the cloud in the sky. "Rainbow Dash, what is that?"

Dash looked up to her handiwork; a giant BRICK-shaped cloud in the sky. "It's a BRICK. Like you asked."

"I didn't ask for a BRICK!"

"You did so! I kept the drawing you gave me!"

Dash produced the drawing she had kept, and threw it into Rarity's hooves to prove it.

Rarity turned the paper over, and showed it to the confident pegasus. "Rainbow Dash? This is what I wanted drawn."

"That? That's not a BRICK."

"I'm aware of that, Dash, because the drawing you used as a reference was the side that was blank!"

Realization washed over Dash. "Ooooh. Well, easy mistake. They're both rectangles."

"Uh, everypony?" Fluttershy squeaked from the crowd.

They all turned to her, and then followed her pointed hoof to the cloudy BRICK in the sky. It had floated right above the town, and to everyone's horror, an actual immense BRICK was somehow sliding out of the BRICK cloud.

Discord rose from the crowd, dressed as weatherpony and holding a tiny umbrella above his head. "Today's forecast: mildly sunny, light winds. BRICK."

The BRICK fell free from the cloud, crushing the town and its inhabitants beneath it.

BRICK.