I Mean, Tell Me What You Think?
It’s an absolutely beautiful, temperate day in Equestria. So naturally, you’re spending your day the best way possible. Inside, with your amazing marefriend. You lay on your couch, chilling out with Berry Punch. You’re comfy. She’s comfy. You can feel her warm, soft breath just lightly heating up your shirt. The gentle scent of her perfume fills your nostrils. Her skin feels velvety soft under your fingertips. In that moment, you know, that without a doubt that you are safe. You are loved.
“Anon…. Why aren’t there cheesey poofs?” Berry asks.
You look down to Berry, who lays against your chest. Then there, literally 2 feet from her on the table, is a fucking barrel of cheese puffs. Like they’re right there.
“Dude, they’re right there,” you say. “Why don’t you just get some.”
“But it’s so faaaarrrrr,”she groans. “Why aren’t they in my mouth. Like, right now.”
You reach an arm out to reach for the barrel of cheese puffs, but, to your surprise, you can’t reach it either. Probably because there is a pony on top of you, restricting your mobility.
“Do betterrrr,” she teases.
“I’m doing my best.”
“It’s not good enough. Do better!”
“Fuck,” you moan. You lay limply on the couch. “ I give up. I am the dead. You get them.”
“No you.”
“I did it last time.”
“But you did it so good and looked so pretty doing it.”
“But, like, you’re on top of me.”
Berry looks to you, then to herself. Then to you.
“Carry me,” she says proudly. “Worship me for I am the queen of the cheese-”
You dump her off your body and she falls to the floor with a thud and a light yip. You easily reach out to grab the cheese puff and then cuddle up close to them.
“And now I am the Cheese King. Long May he reign.”
“Wow,” Berry says, standing up on her hooves. “See, if you gave me the cheese puffs, I was going to get you whiskey, but noooooo.”
Immediately you hold the barrel of cheese puffs to be taken like you would see in Shindler’s Stable.
“I will hand my cheesy crown to a more fitting ruler for a scotch, neat.”
Berry smiles and leans down to you.
“I believe we can make this a peaceful transfer of power.”
She plants her lips on yours, and you press deeper into her sweet, delicate kiss.
She breaks away, and moves to the kitchen.
“Are we disgusting?” you call out to her.
“The worst, why?”
“I dunno,” you say. “I just, like. Like it. I’m really happy with us. We just… work.”
Berry smiles and leans in the doorway.
“I love you too, doofus.”
“Oh, dude,” you say. “Did you hear about Dusk and Rarity?”
“No,” Berry said. “Aren’t they basically miserable? But trying not to show it?”
“Well, it got a lot harder to hide. Rarity is forcing Dusk to quit his job and stay home.”
“Jeez,” Berry said walking back into the room with a tray holding two glasses and a bottle of scotch. She sets it down before going on. “Yeah, Like, three months at best, honestly.”
“Actually they’re engaged now.”
Berry visibly shivers.
“Man, that’s not cool. It’s just… so much unhealthy. Like, all of the unhealthy,” she says.
“That’s the world for ya, today. It makes you take a step back and appreciate the little things so much more, you know? Seeing something like that. Something so extreme.”
“Yeah, but like, still. It sucks that it’s happening at all. Like, if I could, I wish everyone would be able to have something as wonderful as we have.”
“Me too,” you say. “But I mean, cloning doesn’t exist, so I think I’mma keep you.”
“Oh! Fair stallion!” Berry says in a faux voice. “Such things aren’t decent to be said in public. What would the ponies say?”
“Let them talk!” you declare. “I fear not the critical eye of the causal passerby. I only need YOU!”
“You’re weird. Stop.”
“I SHALL NEVER CEASE.”
“Stop or no alcohol.”
Your tone instantly gets soft and borderline hurt.
“I’ll be good I swear. Don’t take away the scotch please.”
Berry giggles and pours two doubles of scotch for both of you. You take a glass from her and take a nice sip.
“Scotch and cheese puffs. I see nothing wrong with this picture,” Berry snickers.
“Yeah, because I’m classy and…”
“I’m not a bottle of scotch?” Berry interjects. “You had one job. Try again.”
“I’m peaty sure I’m the scotch.”
“Okay, sure. I’ll let you think that,” Berry says, winking at you. Now move. I want to keep cuddling.”
“Okay, okay.” you groan, setting the scotch back on the table. “Come here.”
Berry curls herself back onto your chest. You wrap your arms around her and pull her close, feeling her body heat mesh with yours. The scent of your mane sending your mind into spirals. She adjusts her ear just right to be right over your heart, and you can her delicate hum when she hears the calming sound of your heartbeat.
“Anon, we have a problem,” Berry says.
“What?” you ask, genuinely concerned for a second. “Is everything okay?”
“No,” she says. “We messed up?”
“We did? How?”
A short pause fills the air as Berry tilts her head up to you. Her eyes meet with yours, in that moment, you feel a connection unlike any other. Like life found a certain symbiosis with paradise itself, and for one moment, blessed you with some semblance of eternal bliss.
“Anon, the cheese poofs are still so far away…”
You remain silent. She pouts out her lower lip.
“Congradulations,” you whisper. “You played yourself.”
“Anon, make it betterrrr.”
“How do you want me to make it better?”
“MAke it bettterrrrr!”
You crane your neck closer to her and plant a kiss on the top of her head. The pouty lip disappears and instead is replaced with a beaming smile.
“Is that better?” you ask.
“Yeah,” Berry says with a wide smile. “Everything is wonderful now.”
