Chapter One
Grief and Memories
Darkness filled my dreams and the voices of the past continued to be my only comfort in this dark world; each hour seems a life time and I only pray that I will again see the wonder of light. Warm is this black that covers the earth in sack cloth. Days turn to weeks and water is low as I feel my health start to fail; food ran out two days ago and I have since started to feel lighter as though I could simply jump and fly away from this black hell that has befallen me. No sound comes from the outside and only silence fills my lungs for my only fear is that should I release my screams of agony and terror; then and only then shall the darkness know I am alive and seek me out to rectify this.
Friends and loved ones no longer seem important all in my mind in dark and silent now with the globe now dead. I try and remember any memory of happiness that once filled my life with joy and yet no single aspect of these realities hold a candle to what is presented in front of me. In my head the one thing that continues to come out of the darkest crevices of my mind are two words. “I exist,” still my head repeats this even when I know not if it is true.
As I pace forth in my space of the dark I see what I believed to be a myth now; light shown from some source outside my own area of movement. For the first time in oh so many long moons I heard something. Noise shook my fragile ear drums as the long silence was broken and once more did the voice of the world cry out in unison, but then it stopped. The impossible light faded and disappeared into the vast nothingness just as quickly as it has appeared.
I can feel my mind start to slip in and out of reality and with my mind so do my memories start to vanish. The memories of my sister and her flowing hair that shined each morning as she brought out the sun and even old memories of our mother with her dark red mane teaching us all she knew before she vanished. My own name seems to be missing in this collage of worldly ideas and is replaced with a simple orb of white light within my head. The moon which had always been bright even in the darkness of night was always a reminder of a dark past for me but now that darkness was nothing in comparison.
All of this I had caused for in my heart I had wanted nothing but love from everyone, but instead I received only fear and hate. My sister tried to comfort me but what she said could not slow the sting of pain I felt. Even from the beginning everyone had loved her more it was always Tia this and Tia that well what about me. What about Luna; and at that moment I remembered it. My name it’s Luna; I was the sister of Celestia and the co-ruler of Equestria. But, now it was all gone because in my pain I had brought doom on this world by using my power to bring the moon to the world and destroyed all.
I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes and soon streams of them poured down my face. There I sat simply in silent tears my thoughts filled with the faces of the countless ponies that I had robbed of life. Maybe if Tia had simply kept me on the moon none of this would ever have happened; the moon would be a better place for me at least there I couldn't hurt anypony.
For the first time in what seemed like an eternity I left the confines of my chamber and started on my way out into the hallway of the castle. Even in the pure darkness I could make out rubble and the forms of what were once palace guards; now however they were mere shells the used to host brave souls. I trot forward not wanting to glance at what I had caused, but not allowing myself any bit of a chance at forgetting anything. The palace floors echo with the clop of my hooves against the cold stone floor as I head toward the palace throne room in hopes of finding something.
The darkness closes around me closer and closer the farther I get away from my chambers and I feel as though I am not alone in this pitch black aura. My only guess is that the souls of the ponies who passed on are watching me and judging my actions; trying to see if I deserve to find any happiness.
If only I had told her how I felt. If only I hadn't given in to my anger and brought about armageddon; the darkness blinds even as I try to leave this foul memory infested ruin and I find myself finally alone as even the spirits that sought my downfall have given up and left. My magic is gone and even without the moon the outside world will never be dark enough to blind me of the carnage I have wrought.
This fumbling about within the dark brings me no greater pain than it would in the outside world; more would I smile if only to plunge from the heights down to ground and finally be free from these shackles that hold my lost form here. Finally it comes to this as I find the large hole in the castles wall and leap from its great heights in hopes that no angel will lower me slowly, nor will any demon drag me down faster. Only do I wish to be free and endear no more this nightmarish world of eternal night.
I let my weight fall from the ledge and my decent slows to a stop; yet I feel not ground under hoof and no relief comes from my escape. Reflex has brought me flight over the dark landscape and now outside I see the desolation that has been brought on by my mistakes. The air has no smell and yet I would fear to know what a world of death is when breathed in. Can it be more foul than that of a pony roasted alive by a hungry dragon? Or is it a smell that gives death to even those who would dare breath in the intoxication that would befall its victims.
Canterlot the once royal capital lay before my outstretched wings as nothingness; the ground bear of structure and the wild life gone long before the building. No bones, no screams, no smell; what can I find left here other than nothingness?
I shut my eyes and fall into a dive hoping that whatever I might hit will finally give mercy to me.
Deathless God and Twilight
Air fills my lungs as I awake in a large crater filled with water.
The crash that I had hoped would fill my life with a merciful end now only left my body cold and damp in the sunless outside. Tia I need you; I need everypony without them I have nothing. I roll my aching form over and stare up into the once illuminated night sky and see the dim lights that are the stars, and I see them shine for only a moment before extinguishing out of existence forever. I felt an unbridled urge to simply cover my muzzle with a hoof and cry out with all the agony that I had within myself.
My throat fills with the resounding screams of a thousand years worth of anger and agony that leaves me only sore and more depressed than when I had awoken from my blissful death sleep. A thousand years is a long time; time enough for one to build not only a dense wall around oneself but also around one's memories.
Memories of our mother nursing us back to health and images of my sister playing with me on the still wild planet before our subjects came to be. All of this begins to accumulate into a bile that stings the back of my throat as the emptiness of inside of me comes to be true; a vile taste courses across my tongue as my stomach voids itself out onto the barren ground where lush grass once grew. I shirk away from the wretched smelling concoction that lay before me and look back toward the sky where more of my beautiful stars have vanished from the dark sky.
I stare at the belt of Orion and begin to walk toward the ancient pony hunter. The rage I feel still bickering back and forth with my current self-state churn inside my skull and I can feel the two wanting to escape and duel not within the confines of my minds eye, but within the waking realm for all to see. My thoughts turn to a stadium full under the moons silver light and two very different versions of me preparing for a gladiatorial wage against each other. The humorous thought seems to ease my tension as my aching body returns to its perpetual tiredness.
Returning to power and beginning the celestial cycle once against after nearly a millennium of imprisonment had taken its toll on my mind as my rate of sleep increased. So many long years trapped within the moon never able to sleep or even rest as I gazed across the planet below and was helpless to help sculpt its advancement.
But she never had to deal with tiredness. Celestia. I nearly feel my teeth crack as I grind together the upper and lower portion of my molars. SHE LEFT ME TO ROT! I can feel the anger once again flowing through my form and giving me a slight dull in my pain as my slow trot quickly transforms into a livid gallop toward Orion's Belt.
ALWAYS WAS IT OUR DEAR SISTER THAT RECEIVED PRAISE AND ADMIRATION! Never did our subject give unto us gifts of love and adoration; nor did any stallion attempt to procure our association at the gala. NO! It t'was always Celestia. Mother loved her and showed her the secrets that she always hid from our eyes, and in return what did mother do to us? She abandoned us and left Celestia in charge. All of our life we have only been pawns in our once dear sisters game of chess and now! NOW WE ARE THE KINGS DEAR SISTER!
A sharp crack snaps us from our state of hatred and silver tongued thrashing of our dear sisters name. We look down to find that I had stepped on a small bone of sort. No bigger than a small childs forehoof, and yet it hurt my eyes to stare at it and so I refused to do so. This is all Celestia's fault; is it not? The ponies are gone because our sister refused to give us our rightful place in the land; is it not? I felt like the breathe was taken from my lungs as I tripped and fell hard onto my barrel and went into a short state of shock.
I push myself up and roll over onto my back the feeling of breathe begins to fill up my chest once again as my gaze returns back to the near void of a sky above. I feel my wings twinge as I notice the lights of the ancient hunters belt begin to dim and with a blink of my eyes the left of the three vanishes. A twinge of fear returns to my beating heart as I stare up and without a moment of rest the hunter and his belt vanish in nothingness just as their brothers and sisters before them had.
I feel a chill come over the ground and curl into a ball on the barren world. My will begins to falter and I fall under my own spell; the waking world falls prey to the dream. As the waking world falls to the ether; the dream takes hold of my 'self'.
The world is still bright in my dream and in the light that shines from above ponies play happily with each other and discover new ideas. I see mountains still; as snow drifts down from their peaks the mountainous city of Canterlot comes into view and in it the very heart of unicorn kind. Upper class citizens of Equestria mingle and make their way back and forth betwixt shops and bakeries, but the most warmth from the city comes from the white marble castle settled in the north of the city. Inside lay the ruler Celestia who raises the sun, and next to her stands her faithful student Twilight Sparkle. The city seems content and as my dream continues night comes upon the land, and with it the mare in the moon shows bright upon the moons face.
Happy and content are the citizens; no happy and content is everypony with myself still locked safely away. Unable to harm a soul.
In the waking world the chill of the land begins to consume my form and as I begin to shiver I think only of the time when I made everypony happy; when I was not there.
Author's Note
I'm attempting to play around with Luna's perception of herself as she progresses down her road. The whole speaking in first then second person is not a mistake it is intended. Now I know some of you dear readers are very bright and probably figured that out, but for those of you who aren't the greatest with literary analysis there ya go. You now know that for a fact.
