Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser in Equestria

by Wrat

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human
Length: 3887

The most famous duo of the swords and sorcery genre make their way to Equestria, where they will face yet another bizarre adventure.

Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, the most famous duo in the history of swords and sorcery, have travelled far and wide. They have faced thieves, demons, even gods. But now, they face their strangest destination: the land of Equestria.

Published 2019-02-05 01:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-05 01:50:01 UTC

Swords in Equestria

It was a cold day in the city of Canterlot. The first chill winds of Autumn had begun to blow in, and the leaves on the trees quivered in anticipation of their impending fall. The first of the birds had already begun to head south, eager to catch a head start on the wicked cold soon to come. Ponies on the streets bustled about bundled up in scarves and jackets, sipping warm cider and preparing for the new season.

But the cold had yet to penetrate deep underground. The crystal caverns which lay beneath the streets remained heated by the magma below. The warmth was of small relief, however, to the two ponies who now travelled in the caves. It was rare for both the royal princesses to step away from their thrones at the same time, but circumstances made it necessary. The task they undertook was of vital importance, and could not be entrusted to any others.

"Are you certain this is the path, dear sister?" Asked Luna, the Princess of the Moon. "I feel certain we have seen these rocks before."

"There is no path, sister," responded Celestia, the Princess of the Sun. "Ningauble chooses to whom he wishes to speak, and ensures their passage."

"But if we have not found him yet, after hours of searching, how do we know he will want to speak with us?"

Celestia's reply died off as the lights in the cavern died. Try as they might, the two princesses could not conjure light in any form. The darkness was interrupted as a single light appeared. It glowed pale, as though shining through some veil, and wove a strange pattern in the air. It was joined by another light, then another, and then yet another, until there were seven lights in total. A voice spoke out, seeming to come from the lights, yet seeming to come from everywhere else at the same time. It was high and fluty, and the words flowed out in a lilting melody.

"Oh, my dear princess, however could you doubt me so? Did I not promise you, long ago though it may have been, that should the time ever arise when you may have need of my assistance, you would find me here? And truly Ningauble of the seven eyes, though he be many things, among them the gossiper of the gods and traveler of worlds, is not untrustworthy, no, but is instead among the most true and steadfast companions one can find in these many and varied planes."

Celestia spoke up. "We thank you for your help in this, Ningauble, for this is a problem which surely requires your aid. A nightmarish cult has arisen in the south of our lands, seeking to rule over all with fear. They have a great beast which does their bidding, and they use it to crush all who speak against them. We sent forth our trusted Elements of Harmony to combat this threat, but the beast merely shrugged off their power! How can this creature resist the power of friendship, and can you help us to defeat it?"

Ningauble chuckled softly to himself. "I know the creature of which you speak. Indeed, I wondered for what purpose he was pulled from his home far away, and to know the answer to that query is truly a comfort. As to your first question, the creature was not born of this realm, and so cannot be touched by the magic which lies within, even that of your much toted friendship. As to your second question, I can indeed help you, but I will require something in exchange for my troubles."

"What do you want?" Asked Luna slowly.

"I must confess, I am most intrigued by these Elements of Harmony, of which I have heard much. If I could be allowed to study such rare artifacts, for just a short time, of course, for Ningauble is not greedy, I might be persuaded to intervene in this affair on your behalf."

Celestia and Luna turned to each other in conference, but in the end, they could think of no way to end the threat to their land without the aid of Ningauble.

"Very well," spoke Celestia. "For your help, you shall be permitted to study the Elements for one full cycle of sun and moon, no longer."

"I accept your most gracious offer," Ningauble purred. "I shall not partake in this battle directly, but fear not, for I shall send forth two of my greatest champions to enter battle on my behalf. Send your followers to the caves outside of the town you call Ponyville, and there they shall meet." As he spoke, the dots of light vanished, one by one, until only the echo of Ningauble's voice remained. The lights slowly returned to the caverns, and the two princesses made their way home.
…

Far away, across time and space itself, in the world of Newhon, two travelers marched down a long and winding road. The road was narrow, yet the two walked shoulder to shoulder, with the casual ease and air of constant companions.

The man on the right was tall and heavy with muscle. A mane of copper hair hung from his head, and a matching beard concealed his constant smile. A simple leather tunic protected his body from the elements and the weapons of his enemies. From his waist hung a great longsword, known as Greywand. Here stood Fafhrd.

The man on the left was his companion's physical opposite; where one was tall, the other was short. Where one was heavy, the other was thin and wiry. But he shared his friend's easy smile and casual stance, and moved with no less confidence. A cloak of gray silk hung from his shoulders, it's hood thrown up to protect his face from the sun. On his right hip sat a thin blade by the name of Scalpel, with it's shorter companion Cat's Claw on the other side. Here stood the Gray Mouser.

The names of the two men were known far and wide throughout Newhon, and they were praised as mighty warriors only slightly less than they were cursed as wicked rogues. The two shared a friendship forged in fire which even the passage of time could not weaken, and had been on many an adventure together. And it was their latest adventure that the two were in the process of discussing.

"What do you suppose old Ningauble has in store for us this time?" The Gray Mouser inquired of his companion. Fafhrd stroked his beard.

"With Ningauble, there truly is no knowing until we hear it. That crafty old wizard has sent us all throughout Newhon on his errands. I believe that more of our adventure's have come from him and his counterpart, Sheelba, than from any other source."

The two continued their good natured conversation until they reached the entrance to the cave where they knew Ningauble to dwell. The cave lead to a series of caverns which crisscrossed the planes of existence. Only Ningauble, with his alien mind, could possibly hope to navigate the labyrinth.

Fafhrd moved to enter, but the Gray Mouser stopped him with an outstretched arm. "Ho, Fafhrd! One never can tell where these twisting paths may lead. We should wait for an invitation from Ningauble himself before we enter." Fafhrd scoffed.

"Hah! My dear Mouser, I do believe that you have lost your adventuring spirit to these passing years. Come, let us brave these caverns and learn what Ningauble wishes!"
…

Outside a similar cavern in Ponyville waited six ponies. These ponies were known across Equestria just as well as Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser were known in Newhon, but the ponies had a far more heroic reputation.

"Twilight, are you sure this is the right cave?" Asked Rainbow Dash.

"I'm positive. These are the exact coordinates Princess Celestia gave me," responded Twilight. "We just have to wait for these 'champions' to arrive." The six ponies continued to wait. "I'm sure they'll be here any minute," Twilight laughed nervously.

"Maybe they're lost!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. She leaned into the cave. "HELLO IN THERE! CAN YOU HEAR ME? FOLLOW MY VOICE!"
…

"Do you hear that, Mouser?" Fafhrd craned his neck forwards, placing a hand against his ear.

"I did hear a cry," the Gray Mouser admitted, "But it was most decidedly not that of Ningauble."

"Oh, I am certain that it is him. You know how he loves to play his little tricks every now and again. We must follow his instructions, and follow his voice!" And with that, the barbarian strode boldly into the cave. Mouser rolled his eyes, and not for the first time, he wondered what inspired him to travel with such a companion. Still, he followed Fafhrd into the cavernous depths.

On previous visits, the two had marked numerous side passages and twisting branches, yet on this particular journey, only one path lay before them. The two companions travelled through the dark, feeling their way along the cave walls. The floor sloped down at the beginning, no more than a gentle incline, but it quickly reversed it's course and began to rise. Before long, the path up was so steep that the two men had to clamber on all fours to avoid sliding down. At long last, a ray of blessed sunlight revealed itself to them, and the two climbed with renewed vigor. They heaved themselves over a small lip and rose to see their new surroundings.

The land before them was beautiful. The colors were infinitely sharper and more acute than any they had ever seen. The plants were just beginning to transition into the colors of Fall, and the forest in which they stood was a wonderland of orange and red. They could hear the sounds of animals all about them, not the foreboding sound of predators hunting, but rather a cheerful litany of the forest's smaller inhabitants.

"I must confess, this is not what I had expected," the Mouser breathed, his eyes wide. "Do you suppose this is truly where Ningauble wants us to be? What errand could he have for us here?"

"Of course this is where he wants us to be! Look, he has even provided some mounts for our journey!" Fafhrd gestured before them, and the Gray Mouser saw that he pointed to a collection of small horses.

"These mounts barely come up to my waist! Or your knee!" He exclaimed. "And look at their odd coloration! No horse is purple, or pink, or has a mane of rainbow! And some of these are not even horses! I see horns on two, and wings on two others! These are no normal horses, surely!"

"That is true, but think, when has Ningauble ever provided us with anything ordinary?" The Gray Mouser had to concede that point. As they spoke, one of the horses stepped forwards. It gave a small, high pitched sound, unlike anything the two had ever heard. One of the other horses responded in turn, and before long, all six were mimicking the sound. Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser watched the antics with amazement. Fafhrd turned to his companion, an expression of awe on his face.

"Mouser... do you suppose these creatures are intelligent?" The Gray Mouser snorted.

"Of course not, you barbarian fool! They are horses! How can they be intelligent?"

"They may be horses- or perhaps ponies, as their size may indicate- yet I detect patterns to these sounds, almost like that of another language. And look! The purple one has just rolled her eyes! A markedly human gesture, if ever there was one." Mouser refused to say it out loud, but quietly he admitted that Fafhrd may be onto something.

Before they could press the matter further, the Gray Mouser noticed a faint trail of smoke rising into the sky in the distance. He pointed it out to his companion. "Look, Fafhrd! That must be a town, possibly the town where these horses came from. We should make haste there and see if we can learn what Ningauble expects from us." The ponies followed their gaze and seemed to notice the smoke for the first time. It set the group into a panic, and the purple one beckoned with one hoof over it's shoulder.

"Did you see that, Mouser? They motioned for us to come with them! They are intelligent!" The Gray Mouser tried to think of a retort, but none sprang to his normally agile mind. The strange situation had thrown his brain into disarray. He simply followed after Fafhrd, and pondered the question of if a horse truly could become intelligent.

The group moved quickly through the forest. Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, with their knowledge of woodcraft, were able to keep pace with the quicker horses. Within a few minutes, they came to the source of the smoke. A large town stood in a massive meadow outside of the forest. It was clear that the town was normally as beautiful as the rest of the world, but it's beauty was diminished by several rapidly spreading fires. The two adventurers watched several equine silhouettes hurrying about. To their great astonishment, no humans appeared, and they were forced to wonder if the town had been constructed entirely by ponies.

The ponies they had followed raced towards the town, and the two adventurers struggled to keep up. They finally entered the town, and upon turning onto a large street, saw what was causing the panic. Another large group of ponies, clad in dark robes, raced about the town, setting fire to the buildings with sickly yellow firebrands. They stopped their actions when they saw the two humans standing before them.

"Mouser, I believe we have just interrupted a cult in the midst of their rituals," said Fafhrd. "And they appear quite displeased with us."

"I hate fighting cultists," the Gray Mouser sighed. "They simply refuse to behave like rational men and give up when the fighting turns against them."

"Fortunately for us, they have no hands to wield blades with. We shall triumph easily enough." But not for the first time that day, the expectations of the two adventurers were proven wrong. A group of the cultists drew swords using their mouths and charged. The two humans drew their own weapons in response, but quickly found themselves being driven back by the numbers against them. They drew together, back to back, and desperately struggled to hold off their attackers. The ponies from the forest watched with concern, seeming to want to help but holding back for some unknown reason. For awhile, it appeared that Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser would be overcome.

But the two of them had not earned their reputations for nothing. With no warning or signal, they abruptly switched places, and the cultists found themselves fighting entirely new opponents. The sweeping, powerful blows of Greywand were traded for the quick cuts of Scalpel and Cat's Claw, and vice versa. In just moments, three of the cultists lay dead at the adventurer's feet. The rest quickly backed away, reevaluating their enemies.

Without warning, the cultists fell back. Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser shared a quick glance of confusion before they heard an enormous roar. They looked up in time to see a horrifying beast bearing down upon them. The beast had the body of a lion and the feet of a bear, yet it's two great heads were those of vicious bulls. Billowing smoke rose from the beast's body, and it's eyes glowed a savage red.

The Gray Mouser and Fafhrd had just enough time to leap out of harms way as the beast ripped through the space where they had stood moments before. But the beast seemed to turn almost instantly towards Fafhrd, and almost as quickly as the barbarian could recover the beast was charging again. Fafhrd swung Greywand in a mighty arc, but the blade glanced off of the beast's hide as though it were a stone wall. Fafhrd was forced to flee before the creature, darting back and forth down the road, always just a step ahead of the beast's rage.

The Gray Mouser moved to aid his comrade, but quickly found himself under attack by the remaining cultists. He twirled his two blades in ever more intricate arcs, blocking every strike against him, but unable to return any attacks. He knew it was just a matter of time before he fell.

Just then, the ponies from the forest charged forwards and fell upon the cultists. The cultists were driven back before the wild assault, and the Gray Mouser stared in shock as the ponies employed all manner of strange tactic. The pink one produced a large metal tube which seemed to fire bursts of ribbons and confetti. The rainbow one could seemingly control the weather. The Gray Mouser shook his head and moved off towards where the beast had initially come from. He felt confident the leader of the attack would be found there.
…

While his companion was fighting the cultists, Fafhrd found himself in a battle for his life against a foe he could not hope to defeat. The beast shrugged off his every blow like the bites of a gnat, and with every lunge, it came just a touch closer to ending the barbarian's life for good.

"Wretched beast," growled Fafhrd. "Foul sorcery conjured abomination!" The beast lunged at him, and Fafhrd managed to throw himself down a small alley in the nick of time. The beast momentarily lost sight of him, and Fafhrd took advantage of the moment to rest. He cast his gaze about for some way to turn the tide of battle. At first he saw nothing, but then, his gaze fell upon a lumber axe next to a pile of split firewood. He looked back towards the street, and noticed a particularly large oak. Fafhrd smiled.

"If I cannot cut your hide..." he muttered to himself, seizing the axe and racing to the tree, "I shall crush your bones!" And with that, he began to chop at the base of the tree.

The Gray Mouser saw his target at the end of the street. A cloaked pony, taller than the others had been, stood before a small circle of stones, chanting something beneath his breath. As the Gray Mouser approached, the pony's head shot up and he glared at the Mouser. The pony leveled his head and a bolt of lightning lanced out. The Gray Mouser's incredible dexterity only just saved him, and he felt the hair on his arms stand up from the shock. The pony fired another bolt of lightning, and the Mouser dodged again, rolling behind a large crate for shelter.

Thinking back on his adventures, the Mouser recalled a similar situation some time ago in his home city of Lankhmar. Grinning to himself, he withdrew a long coil of wire from a pouch at his side. He tied the wire around the tip of his sword, creating a long, metallic whip. His weapon created, he stepped out to face the pony.

Predictably, the pony fired another bolt of lightning. But this time, the Mouser did not dodge. He thrust his sword out at the bolt, catching it on the very tip of Scalpel. As the bolt connected, the wire lazily flew through the air and gently brushed the pony who had fired it.

The electricity immediately shot back along the length of the wire, killing the pony where he stood. Mouser carefully removed the wire from his sword, then stepped forwards to investigate the stones.

Before he had joined Fafhrd for a life of adventure, the Gray Mouser had been apprentice to a wise old hedge mage who had taught him the ways of magic. Mouser did not remember much, but he knew enough to recognize the spell he saw before him. He threw himself into his memories, searching for the words to undo the spell, knowing fully that his companion's life may depend on him.

Fafhrd looked up from his labor to see the beast standing at the far end of the street, glaring at him. Looking at the base of the tree, he had carved a hole merely halfway through. He redoubled his efforts, belting out an old sea chanty to give himself strength. The beast snorted and began to charge. Fafhrd's axe flashed up and down, up and down, in a constant rhythm. He looked up to see the beast nearly on top of him. He was out of time. The barbarian stepped behind the tree, set both hands upon the trunk, and began to push. He heard the tree groan, then begin to crack. He looked up to see the beast mere meters away. With a final mighty roar, he threw all his weight against the tree. With a splintering crack, the mighty oak fell. The beast realized it's mistake too late. It tried to turn away, but it's speed played against it, and it was unable to halt it's momentum.

At the exact moment that the tree fell upon the beast, the Gray Mouser finished his counter spell to banish it. In a blast of foul smoke, the beast vanished.
…

Some time later, and after a lengthy party in the town, the two heroes found themselves reunited in their home of Newhon.

"Dear Mouser, I am sorry, but you will find that it was I and my cunning strategy with the tree which defeated the beast," boasted Fafhrd.

"On the contrary, my dear Fafhrd, it was my magic that saved the day, just as I am the one who must always save you," retorted the Mouser. "Although I must confess, determining which of us killed the beast is not as important to me as the fact that after all our efforts, we did not receive any reward."

Fafhrd let out a hearty laugh. "It is as I said earlier, Mouser, you must learn to appreciate adventure for the sake of adventure itself! The thrill of combat, the excitement of gazing upon a new land; these are treasures greater than any mortal reward which could be bestowed upon us!"

The Gray Mouser glared at his companion. "In that case, you may pay for our drinks with your share of the adventure."

Author's Note

I just got home from my new job working at a rubber factory. And allow me to say, I am glad I only have to do this for two months! One thing I have plenty of at the factory, however, is time to think. While I was thinking, I thought to myself, "I wonder if there are any stories about Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser in Equestria." So I started making one up. I came home, found out that none existed, so I wrote my own! For those of you who don't know, Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser is a swords and sorcery series first created by Fritz Leiber in 1936. I read the books and was hooked immediately. In this story, I tried to emulate Leiber's particular writing style, which is why this reads so differently than my other stories. Please tell me what you think, and PLEASE check out the original books.