Magical horses and the anti-magical rod

As you run through the endless halls of the Friendship castle, you are trying really hard to understand how the hell everything had gone so wrong so quickly. You were there, you saw everything, and yet it doesn't make any sense to you. Where exactly did you screw up? Let's see.

So, you were left alone for a few hours with two guards watching the door. Anything wrong with that? Probably not, so far so good.

Then the guards had changed, the new ones just came back from lunch. Anything wrong with that? Well, you would certainly appreciate if they also brought something for you, a man can't live on milk and cheese alone. Other than that, nothing is wrong here either. Moving on.

Then these new guards went into the room and started to strip their armor off. Anything wrong with that? M-m-maybe, but you can't be held accountable for their actions. They are two grown-up mares, maybe they just were too hot in their armor. Wait, that's not how you wanted to word this. Anyway, the only thing you can be blamed for is that at first, with their armor and helmets on, you mistook them for stallions. Big and muscular stallions, with atypically large rumps and unusually broad hips. Like seriously, what the hell does Celestia feed her guards with to make these mares look like professional bodybuilders?

As a proper and law-obedient citizen, you just sat on the chair and didn't resist when they started licking you like a big salty candy. One part of your body that moved can totally be blamed on that Applejack girl. You certainly didn't have this kink for dominant girls before this morning, you should probably sue her or something.

Wearing the bathrobe backfired on you one more time when they easily undid the belt with their hooves (although not like even wearing a space marine's power armor could stop them at this point). Then they put you on the floor and started to explore your whole body with their tongues and other wet parts. Then one hovered her large muscular rump over your cock, another did the same over your face, and after nodding to each other, they pushed their rumps down, simultaneously.

What a nice, law-obedient citizen is supposed to do in a situation like this? Assist the guards, of course. With his mouth, his hands, his legs, his cock, and any other body part this law-obedient citizen has.

You have to give Celestia's guards a credit, both of them were conscious and even moving for over a minute, that's what thousands of hours of body-breaking exercises and a strict mental discipline can do. The blonde one, who was a bit larger and was riding your cock, flexed her marehood one last time and collapsed onto your abs and chest with a surprisingly high-pitched and girlish "Thank you!"

Holy shit she is heavy! As her falling body squeezed the air out of your lungs, you pinched both nipples of the other mare with your fingers and pressed your tongue to the magical spot inside her pussy that you found some time ago. Showering your face with marecum, the other mare collapsed on top of the first one, which unfortunately also means "on top of you."

Now, what a good, law-obedient citizen should have done next? If he didn't have to breathe, he could just stay under the mares, definitely not resisting the guard, and definitely not making this clusterfuck of a situation worse than it already was. Unfortunately, you had three things to do. First, you had to get some air. Second, you had to pull your still hard cock out of the first mare, before something horrible happens to her. Third, you had to finish your job with the second mare, because you have standards to maintain, and she was still conscious, if barely.

Lifting them both was out of the question, so you just rolled them until you were on the top, stood up, went to the second mare (who was panting, laying on her back, with her muscular hind legs widespread) and positioned yourself. Wow, this is the first time you see a pony with her abdominal muscles clearly visible through the fur. As herbivores, they normally have these cute soft tummies that you like to scratch with your fingers so much. "Yep, definitely a new kink," you think as you slam your cock into her. Unfortunately, that was precisely the moment a group of other guards (males), decided to come in.

Hmm... Yep, that's it. That's where you did the wrong thing. Because a nice, law-obedient citizen would just stop and wait for further instructions. But you kept holding the mare by her hind legs so that her butt is on the right height (normally you would put her on a stack of mattresses in a position like this, but you had to work with what you have), and kept slamming your cock into her until she screamed her final "Yes!" and went limp. Which took another minute. Damn, those guards are like insanely tough, at least the mares. The stallions stood in shock for a few more seconds, with their own boners on full display. You've chuckled at the size difference, and this shook them out of their trance. Shit.

"GET HIM" shouted one of them, and all the hell broke loose.

Now, this brings you to the present moment. The unfair advantage you had when they tried to stop you with their spells before realizing it's not going to work is gone. The initial element of surprise is also gone since you previously managed to run past several guards by shouting "Emergency royal business!" but now the entire palace is probably looking for you. Your last advantage still holds: they can't detect you with their magic. Also, neither you nor they have the slightest idea about the layout of the castle, since they have just arrived from Canterlot just to seize a dangerous criminal, help with the damage control and then go back.

As you are running out of stamina, you see an unassuming open door to your right, and after making sure that no one can see you, you sneak inside, close the door and hide behind a large trolley full of dirty laundry. You blame the lack of stamina on guards who didn't bring you any food. Like seriously, if you want to fuck a guy like that, at least bring him to his peak condition!

The sound of running hooves passes by the door and disappears around the corner. You knew this place was much bigger on the inside, but this is just ridiculous. Without any dimension-bending shenanigans, the Friendship castle would probably have covered the entire Ponyville, like a huge blue aliens spaceship hovering over a cow pasture.

"I think they are gone," whispers a voice to your left.

"Yeah, I hope so," you answer. Also, your self-preservation instinct tries to tell you something, but you ignore it.

"Should we wait for a few more minutes to be sure?" whispers the voice again.

"Dunno, there may be another group behind," you say. Your self-preservation instinct is shouting obscenities at you, but you still ignore it.

"Mmm... you smell nice," whispers the voice. You freeze. Ah, so that's what that all was about? Your self-preservation instinct facepalms. You slowly rotate your head to the left. Your vision becomes filled with pink.

"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie," says a very, very pink pony. Your eyes hurt a little bit. "So, you actually exist, huh?" she says as she looks at you with suspicion.

"W-what."

"Here I was thinking, why every mare in Ponyville keeps telling me that there is a new person in the town, and my Pinkie sense tells me nothing. I thought it was a conspiracy! Or that the entire population is mind-controlled by some space alien, but then they told me that you are a space alien, which means you can't be a space alien because a space alien wouldn't just say that he was a space alien if he wanted to secretly mind-control everypony, that's not how secrets work, so I had to go deeper. If a space alien, who doesn't exist because my Pinkie-sense never lies, tells everyone he is a space alien, and no one bats an eye on that, does that mean that the government is under his control too?"

Now your brain also hurts. Is she still speaking? Oh yes, she is.

"Too bad I haven't seen you earlier, that way I wouldn't have to go with my plan to try and expose this whole government conspiracy thing, and wouldn't have to add aphrodisiacs to guard's rations."

"W-what," you repeat. She leans closer to your ear and whispers in a surprisingly deep voice.

"Triple dose."

She leans back and continues with a chirpy tone, "that's why I'm hiding, by the way. What about you?"

"M-mare guards," you manage to say before she sniffs the air and interrupts you again.

"Ah, I see, such a shame that Daisy is as straight as your boner, I would like to have some fun with her too. Wait, stay quiet!"

With this, she takes one pillow from the laundry bin and throws it into the wall next to the door. While you are trying to process what's going on, she easily lifts you and slams you into the same wall before the pillow had a chance to fall down, so your head hits the pillow instead of the wall. Her fluffy fetlock shuts your mouth (at least it's not her hoof), her other foreleg somehow pins both of your arms and suspends your whole body in the air, while she leans very close to you and holds her breath.

The door opens and a guard walks in. He looks to his left, then to his right. Then he slowly walks around the trolley with laundry you were hiding behind just a moment ago. He scans every inch of the room except for the one wall next to the door frame that you are currently occupying. Then he starts to slowly turn towards you.

"Motion on the third floor!" shouts another voice, and the guard just jumps out of the room without turning his body, with the agility that terrifies you. You would never be able to run away from this one, nope. Not a chance. That's some ninja shit going on here.

Pinkie lets your body to collapse on the floor.

"Sorry! Got distracted by thinking about Daisy's butt. By the way, I need your help!"

You know the drill. You've practiced. You say "W-what."

"There is a new mare in the town, and I have to set up a 'Welcome to Ponyville, thank you for not murdering all of us' party, but I don't know her name! And you know why? Because she doesn't have one yet! She was another mare before, but then something happened, and now that other mare is gone! My Pinkie sense is telling me that she'll receive her new name from beyond, and since you are the only alien around here, I figured out it must be you! So tell me, what is Sneaky's new name?"

You have a very strong suspicion that if you say "W-what" again, there will be a banner "Welcome to Ponyville, W-what!" in a few hours, so you actually think about the question you were asked. It's surprisingly hard because the flow of your thoughts has to avoid obvious obstacles like "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?", "IS SHE FUCKING INSANE?" and "W-what", which is not really a question anymore at this point, but an accurate description of your current state.

"Cheesy Soul."

Wait, did you just name a pony? It felt so natural, like if the answer was right there all along. Damn, where was this skill of yours when you spent four hours on your character's name in World of Warcraft?

"I knew it! Oh, and by the way, hurry up to the first floor, room 17-B, she is dying and needs your help."

"W-what."

"If you leave in four seconds, you won't encounter any guards! See ya!" with this she happily bounces out of the room.

"W-w... oh for fuck's sake," you groan and stand up. You don't care about the guards, you care about the mare. Dying? Why? How? Did these stupid guards beat her up or something? No, this can't be, they are ponies, not humans.

You sneak out of the room and go towards the stairs. You hear and even see guards running around, but every single time they just happen to look in the other direction, or fail to hear your footsteps, or miss you because of some other stupid distraction. You are trying really hard to not think about the pink mare. Even if she is bending the entire world around her will right now, you don't care, you have places to be.

First floor, 17-B. The room is dark inside. You see Fluttershy sitting next to the bed with Sneaky..., you mean, Cheesy Soul in it. The sleeping mare doesn't look happy, at all. Her black coat is covered with large grizzled round spots. The size of spots reminds you of what you saw during the Twilight's light show. You don't like it.

"How is she?" you ask. Fluttershy doesn't even move as you enter and keeps staring at the mare.

"I'm sorry, I'm doing everything I can, but... there is just too much damage."

"Fluttershy?" you ask her. She finally turns her head towards you.

"A-Anon, I... I can't help her."

Shit, is she crying? Did you make Fluttershy cry? You monster, now you know you are going to hell. You come closer and hug her. She keeps talking.

"I tried to mend the holes in her soul with my Stare, but they are just too big."

Right, the Stare. A talent to see and push other souls just a little bit. With the softest touch, no stronger than a breeze. A talent she never used on you, and you know exactly why.

"Guide me," you say as you lean closer to the sleeping mare. It's pretty obvious that Luna had rebooted her at some point since Cheesy Soul lies still. You trace one of the grizzled spots on her coat with your fingers and gently move them across it. Nothing changes. You do it again, this time pressing your fingers a bit harder as if trying to close a large wound on her body. Fluttershy inhales.

"Do it again!"

You repeat the motion, this time on two separate gray spots on her body, with both of your hands.

"Don't stop, it's working!"

You know it does. The painful expression on Cheesy's face slowly relaxes, but you know you have a lot of work to do. Carefully, you massage her whole body, while Fluttershy guides you. You massage this mare's well-toned shoulders, that are supposed to carry this mare around, her cute butt, that she's supposed to sit on while talking to her friends, her soft tummy, that is supposed to be full of pancakes and ice cream. She has a happy life to live.

"HERE HE IS!" someone shouts behind you, but you don't stop.

"Let him finish," says another, deep and powerful voice, but you don't care.

"Just like that, now that spot on her neck," says Fluttershy, but you know that already. It's so simple, really. You feel under your fingertips which parts of this mare feel like some animal's coat, and which parts feel like... a pony. You've touched enough of them by this point to know the difference by heart.

You work for something that feels like an hour, and when the sleeping mare smiles, you know you are done for today. Fluttershy had explained to you that the wounds in the mare's soul may open again, but you know you'll be there when that happens, and you'll pet her as many times as it takes to fix the damage you have done. Finally, you put a blanket on her and say.

"Get well soon, Cheesy Soul."

You finally turn your head and see Princess Luna, observing you with an unreadable expression. You see two familiar guard mares, who are hugging each other with tearful eyes. One of them sniffles. You see several other guards standing outside of the room, which means you definitely won't escape this time around. Time to fix everything. You raise your hands and say:

"Look, I can explain! This is not what it looks like!"