Moondancer and her Sapient Dildo Boyfriend

by The Eroticator

Rating: mature
Tags: Twilight Sparkle (EqG), Romance, Drama, Original Character, Moondancer, Fetish, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Sex
Length: 6363

Moondancer finds first love when her Beanis comes to life.

The Beanis. An innovative product, one which eventually spawned a whole company. But Moondancer’s is so much more than that, being alive and all. He’s charming, thoughtful, and leaves her breathless. It’s only natural that happiness blooms brightly between them, a picture-perfect couple. At least, until corporate catches wind…

A part of the glorious BCU. Preread by CapNTilfy, shallow15, and Majin Syeekoh. Edited by R5h.

Published 2019-02-06 21:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-06 21:40:02 UTC

Meeting Again for the First Time

I awoke.

For most, this would not be unusual. Many animals require sleep to function properly. But I knew I wasn’t an animal. Or a person, or an alien, or what have you. In truth, the fact that I could suddenly know anything at all should have been impossible, beyond reckoning. Because I was a Beanis.

Being a Beanis, I had always been able to feel, my purpose to stimulate and be stimulated. Instill pleasure. However, miraculously, I could also attach meaning to sensation. I was resting somewhere, a hard surface on one side of my body, a soft one on the other.

And then, I remembered, this too a shock. Memories of my birth, forged from magic and plant protein in a Beanis Inc. manufacturing plant. A simulacrum of the most captivating phallus of the modern era. There were many models, coming and cumming in all shapes and sizes, but I was the standard twelve inch version. That day, I was packaged and shipped out, soon arriving directly on the doorstep of the young woman who purchased me. It must have happened months ago, given my experiences since.

Thinking (I was thinking!) on that, I realized where I was: buried under some intimate garments in her underwear drawer. My body stirred to full rigidity, without so much as a single caress, from the notion alone. Every experience we’d shared, and I had never felt this with her. It was different, and exciting. Previously, she’d been all business, skipping the foreplay and shoving me straight inside her loins.

Sadly, that was how it would stay, unless I could somehow convey to her that I’d changed. Though our couplings were brief, she treated me well, even cleaned me afterwards without fail. I wanted to do more for her, bring her joy emotionally, not just physically.

How could I do that, though? I was a Beanis, a cutting edge marital aid and nothing more. Without a mouth to form speech, a face to emote, or hands to gesture, in what manner could I communicate? The answer came to me with surprising ease, and not a moment too soon.

For suddenly, I heard muffled footsteps. I could hear? It must have been magic. As it turned out, I could see in all directions too, as orange light filtered through the plain white panties above me when the drawer slid open with the grinding of wood. The actual kind.

“Ugh, I really need this today,” groaned a female voice. It was her, my owner and lover.

As she peeled the panties away, I beheld her for the first time. She had skin the color of sweet cream, and her coral pink hair was pulled into a little updo I instantly deemed cute. She wore black glasses and a thick, dark sweater. I found her eyes, and couldn’t look away, the depth within them speaking of great intelligence. Either that, or great exhaustion. Maybe both. I didn’t have much practice reading people at this point. Still, one thing was certain: I had to reach out.

She did the same, extracting me from the drawer with a tender hand. Carrying me up to her eye level, her head tilted slightly in confusion. “That’s curious. It’s already throbbing.”

I made my move, one of the only things I could do. I twitched. Not randomly, as was the norm, but in a pattern, one I prayed she would recognise.

At first, it seemed like it wasn’t working. She shrugged, carrying me over to a twin-sized bed that had been crammed next to a bookshelf. Unceremoniously, she dropped her panties, but didn’t bother to remove her sweater, and peeled back the blanket. Then, she plopped down onto the mattress. Finally, she leaned over to grab a tablet computer off her nightstand, and was clearly about to boot the thing up, when I finished my message and begun to repeat it.

Her eyes widened, and she turned back to me. “No. No, it couldn’t be Morse code.” Brow furrowing in focus, she sounded off the letters aloud as I transmitted them. “H… E… L… L… O— Gah!”

She dropped me like I was on fire, scrambling backwards against the headboard, knees and elbows bunched, shaking like a leaf. It took her multiple deep breaths before she could speak again. “What the hell!? Did… did my Beanis just… greet me?”

As she stared with a look that hopefully was just shock, and not dread, I twitched a second message. “Yes.”

She blinked. Hard. Then, she took off her glasses, wiped them off on her undershirt, and blinked at me again. “Okay. O-kay. Well,” she deadpanned, now relatively calm. “Either, A, someone snuck into my house and slipped something very illegal into my food, or B, my dildo is self-aware. Which has a higher probability of actually happening?”

“B,” I sent.

Her hands fell to her sides. First, she went white. Then, she broke out into a furious blush. “Oh god, my Beanis is alive. I used it. Like, dozens of times! And I didn’t even ask for consent! Does that make me a rapist? Am I a rapist, now?”

“It’s fine,” I twitched.

Once that sunk in, she sighed in relief, the exhalation transitioning into a laugh. She scratched at her hair, pulling her legs under her. “Wow, this is awkward. Umm…”

“Your name?” I asked.

Her face had returned to a more neutral expression, at this point doing her best to roll with the conversation. “It’s Moondancer,” she said.

Moondancer. I would have smiled. “A beautiful name, for a beautiful woman.”

This was my longest sentence yet, taking over a full minute to send. By the time I was done, Moondancer’s blush had returned in full force. “T-That’s…” she trailed off, gulping. “Nobody’s ever said anything like that to me before. People say I’m frumpy.”

“You aren’t, though,” I sent.

Moondancer coughed, looking away bashfully. Her drifting eyes settled on her bare thighs, and she squeaked, only just realizing she was half-naked in front of polite company. Fumbling out of bed, she pulled her panties back on before sheepishly turning back to me.

“No need to hide that,” I twitched. “I’ve been there.”

“Still!” Moondancer protested. “I can barely have a proper dialogue with a perfectly ordinary stranger, let alone a Beanis! The less weird I have to think about, the easier this will be.”

I could understand that. This whole ordeal was new to me too. “Ok. How can I help?”

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she picked me back up. “Hmm. Do you have a name? Just calling you ‘Beanis’ would be like if you called me ‘Human’.”

“No,” I admitted. “You can pick one for me.”

Moondancer made a face. “Nope. Too weird. I’m going to say you’re an adult, otherwise this would be immeasurably messed up, and adults don’t let other adults name them.”

“I would. I’ve always lived for you,” I replied.

At this, she fidgeted, unjustly unused to such affection. “Um, okay. That’s…” She trailed off, taking a deep breath. “How about… Garbanzo?”

Not bad. It was bean related, masculine, and Hisponic, which was always sexier. “I like it.”

Moondancer exhaled in relief, moist air passing over me. “Great. Time for the big question: now what?”

“Regarding?” I asked.

“Our relationship,” she said, wearing a ponderous expression that seemed to fit. “I can’t in good conscience just keep you tucked in my drawer until I need to masturbate anymore. At the same time, getting a new Beanis would be horribly impolite. At least, I think so. My books on social etiquette weren’t exactly comprehensive in this area.”

She had a point. But I certainly knew what I wanted. “I could be your boyfriend.”

Moondancer sputtered, adjusting her glasses. “I really should have expected you would say that, Garbanzo.” Her stare went unfocused as she thought.

“If you’ll have me, I can try,” she eventually declared, her toothy smile a mix of thrill and apprehension. “I mean, we already know we work well together in the bedroom, hehehe. We’d be going in the reverse order of a typical courtship, though.”

“I don’t care,” I twitched. “I want to spend time with you, learn everything about you, Moondancer.”

In what was becoming a regular occurance, Moondancer blushed, her smile small but genuine. “Do we have a date, then?”

“It’s a date.”

Date: Not the Fruit, Legumes Only

Immediately, Moondancer went online to get ideas for how we could spend time together. As it turned out, finding an activity besides sex that an oversized penis analogue could participate in was a minor ordeal. I couldn’t share a meal, a dance on the ballroom floor, or a sing at a karaoke bar. But, by the evening, we had decided. This was how I found myself playing mini golf by proxy.

There weren’t many other people on the outdoor course at this hour, but just to be safe, Moondancer had tucked me inside the cozy left sleeve of her sweater, my glans resting in the palm of her hand. Moreover, she wore a hands-free cellular headset over one ear. That way, people wouldn’t think she was crazy for talking to herself. Part of me was disappointed that we couldn’t share what might very well be love with the world, but at the same time, the last thing I wanted was for Moondancer to suffer ridicule because of me. No matter how popular Beanises were becoming, waving one around in public still led to questions.

Moondancer had already gotten our ball and putter, and she slowly made her way over to the first hole, a straight shot with a couple of plastic blocks on either side. She angled her arm so I could see it. “Simple enough,” she said.

Easier said than done, though. I had an up close perspective, brushed up against the grip of the club as she fumbled her first stroke, clipping the golf ball right into one of the blocks where it bounced back right to where it started. It took her five hits to get the ball in the hole. The sign said par was two.

Moondancer sighed in annoyance as she walked over to the next one. “Ugh, I’m terrible at physical activities. Why did I go with this?”

“Want any tips?” I asked. “I’m good at filling holes.”

“Right, that’s why,” she said, giggling.

Were I able, I would have smirked mischievously. Instead I just twitched some more. “Not because we’re three blocks from your house?”

“Okay, that was part of it,” she admitted.

Before I could tease her any more, she lowered her hand, moving on with the game. The second hole was about as basic as the first, but with the addition of some sloping hills on the synthetic grass and some painted wooden cutouts of jungle animals for decoration. Moondancer only required four attempts to sink the ball this time.

“See, getting better already,” I declared.

Moondancer smirked down at me. “You know, for a dick, you’re a pretty nice guy.”

“Ha,” I sent.

Pausing, her smile morphed into a more pensive line. “I… don’t really go out much, in case you hadn’t noticed. Books are simple. Relationships are complicated, even just friendship. And I sort of stopped trying. This whole experience has been refreshing, if you can believe that.”

I could. If connections were so natural to create and maintain, people wouldn’t need Beanises. “How so?”

“You’re very straightforward, Garbanzo. Men, especially, are hard to read. I can’t tell when they’re being genuine or just thinking with their cocks. But you are a cock. A kind, sustainably sourced one.”

Ah. I’d take that as a compliment. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, grinning.

Moondancer hummed as she sized up the next hole. This was where they started becoming extravagant, including moving setpieces. The one in front of us featured a loop-de-loop, styled to look like a roller coaster, complete with moving cars carrying miniature riders. She stroked her chin, giving me a nice view in the process. “Think I’m gonna have to put some force into it this time,” she mused.

Squaring her legs, she lined up her putt, concentrating. She swung, twisting her hips for a follow-though. A bit too much follow-through. As the ball was sent rolling into the loop, I went flying right out of Moondancer’s baggy sleeve, sailing through the air and clattering painfully into the branches of a nearby tree.

“Ow.”

Moondancer dropped the putter, hands covering her mouth in surprise. “Oh shit oh shit,” she muttered under her breath. Other golfers glanced her way, hearing the rustling, before returning to their games.

Rushing over to the tree, Moondancer tried jumping in place to reach me. Unfortunately, the branches I was balanced on were slightly too high for her to reach. Frantic, she seemed reluctant to leave me there, but eventually ran off to the front entrance.

I didn’t have to wait long for her to come back. She had brought a taller man wearing the course’s logo on a collared shirt. His begrudging expression was that of somebody who’d seen everything and had grown numb to insanity.

Moondancer was unable to meet his eyes. She was sweating bullets. “So, uh, this is where my club got stuck.”

The man stared between the leaves, spotting me. He turned back to her incredulously. “Ma’am, that’s obviously not one of our putters. That is a Beanis.”

Moondancer cringed, her body language conveying absolute embarrassment. “Yes,” she admitted.

With a sigh, he reached up and shook the branch, catching me in his other hand. “No shame in having one, ma’am,” the employee said as he passed me to her. “They’re very effective. I bought one for my wife recently. She likes double penetration.”

Moondancer’s relief faded after his first sentence. Then, she balked. “I absolutely did not need to know that.”

The man shrugged. “We’re very open with our escapades. However, we at Happy Fun Mini Golf are not open to sex toys on the property. I’m going to have to kick you out now.”

And then he did, slamming the steel exit gate shut in front of Moondancer after escorting her there. Once he was gone, she shimmied out of view, facing the outer wall.

“I am so sorry, Garbanzo. You aren’t hurt, are you?” In a mild panic, she turned me this way and that, searching for cuts.

“No,” I twitched, dribbling a bit of pre reassuringly. “Actually, it was a tad thrilling.”

“Really?” Moondancer’s eyes narrowed.

In the following lull, though, contrary to what I expected, I could feel her heartbeat actually speed up. She held me up to her face, tightening her grip. Her eyes burned. “Okay, I am not losing to a plant at being arousing, sexually or otherwise. We are going back to my place, and by the time I’m done with you, you won’t be able to even think about anything other than me.”

I spasmed, her sudden forwardness stirring me to full readiness. Hot damn. “Bring it, sweetie.”

Gratuitous Sex Chapter

Rapidly walking back to her house, Moondancer wasted no time, throwing me down onto her bed. I gazed reverently upwards as she stripped, pulling her shirt and sweater over her head, followed by her pants. Undoing her hair tie, she shook her head, allowing her bangs to fall across her forehead.

Brushing her fingers through them, she posed, hip cocked to the side, hands behind her head. “How do I look?”

It looked like she had literally never tried being alluring before in her life. “Cute,” I sent.

Moondancer pouted, reinforcing her adorableness in my metaphorical eyes. “It’s supposed to be sexy.”

“That’s not who you are. Still, I’m hard, aren’t I?” I twitched.

As quickly as it left, her smile returned. “Point taken.”

“Not yet, I hope.” Now that I could appreciate the difference, I didn’t want to just cut to the case. “Foreplay?”

“Of course. I’ll give you the full experience, assuming you can last that long,” Moondancer said with a playful smirk.

“Much appreciated,” I sent. This was going to be fun, and I was immensely grateful. We both knew who had control in our relationship: she did. Truthfully, I had no choice but to let her use me as she pleased, being a mere toy for her use. I was completely at her mercy, a fraction of her size and unable to move.

Climbing onto the bed, Moondancer picked me back up, licking her lips before pressing me up to her mouth. Her soft skin met my beany flesh as she kissed me, nipping her way down every inch of me, producing peppered sensations as she left no surface unteased. Then, she began to lick, each pass of her soft, hot tongue sending shivers down my length.

That transitioned smoothly into a full-body blowjob. With eyes beginning to glaze over, Moondancer held my base with one hand as she popped my tip into her mouth, readily tasting the signs of my arousal. I was wide, filling her cheeks and stretching her jaw as she sucked out my precum. She couldn’t get me past her throat, given my girth and her inexperience, but the fact that she was stroking me with her other hand more than made up for it. It felt amazing, her ministrations driving her wild. I would have grunted in satisfaction, but the throbbing of my veins would have to be enough.

Moondancer was panting with excitement of her own as she pulled me out with a wet pop. Pinching me between her knees, she reached back and under her bra, exposing her breasts. They jiggled enticingly without support, tender softballs of femininity capped by firm, pink nipples.

I tried to complement them, but Moondancer wasn’t paying attention to my coded message. She laid down on the bed, hair splayed over her pillow, and planted me against her torso, lengthwise, right between her boobs.

She pressed them together, enveloping me in velvety smoothness and sweat as her chest rose and fell with her racing breaths. “How do you like my tits, Garbanzo?” she asked, her voice low and lewd. “Don’t answer, I’m sure you’d say they’re great. Just savor the sensation. I sure am.”

Moondancer squished her breasts around me, kneading at herself as she did. Lost in her own pleasure, she nearly forgot I was there for a bit, moaning as she pinched and twisted at her hard nipples while I just rested on top of her, a passenger on Moondancer’s Wild RideTM.

I was practically aching with need, painfully erect once she’d had her fill with her boobs and sat back up. However, she wasn’t done teasing me yet. Tugging at the band of her panties, Moondancer stuck me into the gap, using me to pull down her panties instead of her hand. The sight, combined with the sensation of being drawn all the way across her shapely leg, was nothing short of fucking amazing. All this, what we were doing, was erotic as all hell, more intimate than any fap session.

“N-Not quite yet,” she moaned, discarding her panties as she set me down on the bed again. “First, I’m gonna really hammer home who’s on top.”

Squirting a bit in anticipation, I watched as Moondancer got on her hands and knees and spun. Her hair brushed over me as she positioned herself directly above, blocking out the light with her thick ass, cushioned with fat from years of sitting and reading.

She kicked her legs out from under her, instantly smothering me beneath her sublime weight. “There we go,” she sing-songed, wiggling a bit. “How’s that?”

I could barely think anymore, totally immersed in my lover’s body and the powerful stimulation she was providing. Each of her ass cheeks perfectly covered me on either end, the bit of wetness in the middle a glimpse at what was coming next. Muffled groans filtered through her and into my ‘ears’ as she flexed her glutes and tilted this way and that. I could have died happy then, but thankfully I remained intact.

Humming through clenched lips, Moondancer ceased butt-crushing me, and went prone, spreading her legs invitingly. “I can’t wait any longer,” she said, breathless. I could tell: she was dripping copious juices onto the sheets, the tantalizing edges of her inner folds peeking out from between her labia. I simply had to dive right in, fill those wanting depths, satisfy the girl I loved.

Moondancer obliged, her back and toes arching as she forced me inside her pulsing pussy. She let out a cry of ecstasy as she pushed me in as far as I would go, my tip prodding against her cervix, and the entrance to her most sacred place.

“K-Knowing I’m sharing this pleasure with you, Garbanzo, is - mmng - so much more exciting!” Moondancer exclaimed, drawing me in and out of her cunt as it gripped me totally. It was heavenly: all of me, inside her. Exactly what I remembered and more. This was my purpose as a Beanis, to carry Moondancer to new heights of orgasm.

And it would happen soon, I could tell. The speed of her pistoning was steadily growing more and more frantic, her grip on my base feverish. Wrapped in her clenching nethers, I just couldn’t restrain myself any longer. I had to give her everything. My magic kicked in, and an immense load of bean jizz built deep inside me, far larger than normal.

Then, with a silent cry, I burst, blasting rope after rope of steaming cum that rocketed into Moondancer.

This elicited a sharp gasp from her, and her back locked. “Ah! So much! You’re gonna—!” Moondancer screamed, spasms rocking her from head to toe as I brought her to climax. Her pussy squirted hard, milking me for all I was worth as her hands and my lower half were instantly soaked. Still, I couldn’t stop, my mind going blank as I just kept on cumming and cumming, overfilling her womb, the excess leaking out the sides of her pussy.

Even after she’d yanked me out, her own incredible orgasm concluded, boobs shaking with heaving breaths, my ejaculation wouldn’t end. Spooge flew vigorously, covering her chest, face, and glasses. Only when I’d finally gone limp, utterly drained for her, did Moondancer speak. Well, it was a satisfied sigh first, and then she spoke. “Fuck, Garbanzo. That was…”

However, before she could finish her sentence, she fainted from the intense afterglow, rolling to her side and collapsing to sleep, with me still clutched in her fingers, a contented smile on her face. Barely able to stay conscious myself, I too fell into a dreamless sleep, both of us equal parts sticky and content.

Shattered Fences

The next few weeks went by in a blissful blur for Moondancer and me. We quickly became inseparable. Reading together, showering together, sometimes just wasting the idle hours away talking. Her eyes often took on a delightful glow, the mark of a lovestruck heart. Everything was perfect. But as all erections must eventually subside, so too did our tranquil life together encounter a sudden obstacle.

It arrived in the form of a letter, the envelope printed with a custom Beanis Inc. design. From my spot on the coffee table, I watched Moondancer’s mouth gradually sink into a frown with each line she read. When she finished, she flung the paper away, fuming as she sunk into the sofa.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, truly baffled as to her sudden shift in mood. I owed my life to that company, and Moondancer her happiness.

“It’s Twilight Sparkle. She somehow caught wind of you being sapient, Garbanzo,” Moondancer said, crossing her arms. “She wants me to bring you over to their headquarters to run some tests, learn from you. And also, to talk to me.”

“Why is that bad?” I twitched.

At this, Moondancer actually growled. And not in the hot way. “Twilight used to be my best friend. Keyphrase: used to be. From kindergarten all the way through middle school, we were two peas in a pod. I even copied my hairstyle from her.

“But then, she abandoned me, and never looked back,” Moondancer continued, forlorn. “Went to some fancy private academy in Canterlot, leaving me behind here in Ponyville, all alone in the distant suburbs.”

A sour spot, old wounds. My soul ached to see her like this. “Would you reconnect?”

Her face grew pained at the idea. “I’ve thought about it. But I’m still angry at her, still afraid she’d just brush me off again. This is almost too good to be true. I’m suspicious, even though it’s you she wants. Why me? And why wait until now?”

“So you won’t go,” I sent, seeking a clear answer.

She looked away. “Not unless you want to.”

So, the burden was on me, then. While she was hurting now, what if Twilight really did mean well? Moreover, she was essentially my creator goddess, and if Twilight could figure out what brought me to life in the first place, then maybe she could replicate the process. Lonely souls across the world would have the chance to be loved by their Beanises. Who knew how much good that might yield?

“I do,” I asserted. “Imagine others with what we have.”

Moondancer’s eyes widened slightly, processing. Then, she sighed in acceptance, steeling herself in the ensuing silence. “Alright. Let’s go.”

Deep in middle of the shadiest section of Canterlot City, nestled in the bosom of filth and depravity, stood Beanis Inc.’s flagship building. It fit right in, the acts of business in progress within far more disturbing than what could be found in any drug den or gang hideout. Myself once more hidden in Moondancer’s sweater sleeve, she gingerly stepped out of the cab she’d chartered for transportation, the driver peeling away at speed the second she was out of the vehicle.

Suspicious but determined, she ignored the roiling band of lunatics loitering around the entrance and pushed the front door open, a chime sounding as she did.

This altered the orange woman seated at the front counter, who smiled at Moondancer as she entered. The nametag pinned to the jacket of her blue pantsuit read ‘Ms. Flare’. “Ah, you must be Moondancer!” she exclaimed, smiling a little too widely for comfort. “All according to plan. Miss Sparkle has been expecting you. Follow me!”

Moondancer gingerly nodded, “R-Right.”

When the outgoing receptionist stood, her white heels clacking on the suspiciously clean linoleum, Moondancer automatically fell into step behind her, scanning the passages as they went.

“So, I couldn’t help but read your file,” Ms. Flare began, “and I happened to notice that you seem to be the introverted, bookish type.”

“Um, yes?” Moondancer confirmed. I was also wondering where she was going with this.

“Well, coincidentally, my son is the same way!” She looked over her shoulder, empathetic. “Look, I know how amazing a Beanis can be. Mine has been very helpful, ever since my husband got checked into the asylum. But as for a relationship… surely one is no substitute for an actual boy, right? Also I want grandkids.”

Moondancer’s jaw dropped at her audacity, pressing me, and her arm, protectively against her chest. “I’m not just going to abandon Garbanzo!”

Yeah, you tell her, I thought. Inconsiderate, much?

Ms. Flare snapped her fingers. “Drat. I had to ask, though. Anyway, here you are!”

She’d stopped at the end of a hallway, knocking on the door twice before pushing it open and announcing Moondancer’s arrival. Then, she excused herself at a fast clip.

Twilight’s office was the definition of an organised mess, with printed schematics, research notes, and checklists strewn about or tacked onto every available surface. Moondancer cautiously entered, making eye contact with the woman behind the desk. Apart from her coloration, she really could be Moondancer’s twin. Even their glasses matched. Were they on better terms, I might have asked if a threesome was on the table.

“Hey there! Long time no see!” Twilight said. “Glad you could make it!”

Moondancer remained apprehensive, though it seemed like part of her wished Twilight was being genuine. “Really? From where I’m standing, it seems like you just wanted to study Garbanzo, and I’m the one who just happened to end up with him. We haven’t spoken in over five years.”

Twilight clasped her fingers together, staring at the floor. “I know, and I’m sorry. Crystal Prep’s curriculum was very rigorous, plus my independent studies… I was busy for a while. And then I discovered magic, made new friends, switched schools, and invented the Beanis. Through it all, I sort of just… forgot about you. Which shouldn’t have happened. I like to believe I’m a better friend, now.”

Moondancer bore into Twilight with a fierce glare.

Twilight sighed. “From your reaction, I’m inferring it was Garbanzo who wanted to answer my invitation.”

Nodding in confirmation, she reached up her sleeve and pulled me free. “He’s a better person than I am. Garbanzo shares your vision.”

Twilight approached, leaning to examining me with fascination. “You communicate in Morse code, correct?” she inquired. “May I see an example?”

“Yes, progenitor,” I sent.

She’d actually started clapping before I’d even finished. “My spies were right! This. Changes. Everything!” Twilight declared.

“Spies?” Moondancer asked, one eyebrow quirked.

But Twilight ignored her, now busy talking to herself. “—possibly a Beanis dating app, or a Beanis nightclub! I’d either have to teach all the customers Morse Code somehow or give all the Beanises mouths, and probably launch some sort of preemptive counter-propaganda campaign to appease those pesky rights activists. Maybe in the form of a superhero cartoon, Shiny would get a kick out of that. Or, what about—”

“Twilight!” Moondancer shouted to get her attention. Once the young executive had stopped rambling, she continued. “The testing?”

Cutting herself off, Twilight chuckled, scratching the back of her head. “Whoops, got carried away there, didn’t I?”

“Just a tad,” Moondancer quipped.

Twilight glanced between me and Moondancer, pensive. “So, you, er, wanted to get this over with?”

Moondancer opened her mouth, as if she wanted to say something, but then closed it with a frown. Evidently, my girlfriend still hadn’t fully cut herself off emotionally from Twilight, but her head outweighed her heart in that moment. “Yes. We have lives to get back to.”

“What do you need from me?” I asked.

“Just a DNA sample, Garbanzo,” Twilight answered. “I can analyze your thaumic signature from that as well. The easiest and most pleasant method to isolate your genome would simply be to cum into a sample cup. I’m sure Moondancer wouldn’t mind assisting you,” she added with a smile.

As Moondancer grew flustered at the thought, Twilight produced said sample cup from somewhere on her person, handing it to Moondancer. “If you’re uncomfortable doing it here, I’m pretty sure The Couch is free right now,” she said.

That was something else I knew about. Definitely not. “Bathroom?” I suggested.

“Sure,” Moondancer agreed.

Twilight muttered something about property taxes before sharing directions to the nearest women’s room. Once we’d finished our quickie, Moondancer gave my jizz to Twilight. For her part, Twilight still seemed genuinely excited, and said she’d share the results with us in a few days.

Moondancer didn’t return her cheerful wave goodbye. I hoped she was wrong about Twilight, for both our sakes.

When we returned, Ms. Flare ushered us to the back of the building, home of the lauded R&B department. The multi-room, state-of-the-art facility was furnished with a strange mix of scientific instruments, exotic apparati, and assorted sex paraphernalia, including an elaborate bondage hammock.

Currently, the only employee present was Twilight herself, hunched over a computer. Moondancer coughed to get her attention. Upon twisting her head to face the sound, I could see Twilight clearly. She was strained, frustration etched all over her features. “Come on over, Moondancer. Maybe this data set needs a fresh set of eyes. Because I’m not seeing it!”

Moondancer approached carefully through the maze of research and relaxation tools. “Not seeing what?”

“Anything!” Twilight exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air. “I ran every test, checked every number, and there’s nothing! By all measures, Garbanzo is a perfectly ordinary Beanis!”

“Weird,” I twitched. What was I, then? A miracle, truly?

Though likewise perplexed, Moondancer merely shrugged after scanning the spreadsheet on the monitor. “Yeah, that’s odd, alright. But you’re the expert, Twilight. I’m not sure what I can tell you.”

Twilight groaned, tilting her head back. Then, she stared right at me, hungering eyes boring into my visible cockhead. “I need to borrow you for more experiments, Garbanzo. You can stay here for a bit, right?”

Oh. I suppose that made sense. Still, I didn't want to be away from my girlfriend if I could help it. I’m practically all she has.

“Not alone,” I answered, Moondancer unsheathing me so Twilight could see.

“Agreed,” Moondancer said. “You’d have to let me stay nearby, where I could watch him. I honestly have no clue what goes on within these walls.”

“That’s because a lot of this is proprietary!” Twilight huffed, getting upset. “Please, Garbanzo, Moondancer. I need to study him, and it has to be private. I’ll even pay you!” she pleaded.

Quiet settled on us like a shroud. Moondancer shied away, blinking back tears. “I knew it. You’re just using him. Using me. It was too good to be true,” she whispered. Taking a deep breath, Moondancer straightened. “We’re leaving. Now. Good luck with your business,” she said, her well-wishing blatantly insincere.

But just as Moondancer turned and took her first step backwards, Twilight snapped. “No!”

She bolted to her feet, tearing her glasses from her face. Her eyes… Where there had once been confusion and desperation, there was now pure rage. Black frames in hand, Twilight clenched her fist hard, shattering the eyewear to pieces. I was shocked, this reaction completely out of left field.

Unable to do anything but stare wide-eyed, Moondancer was rooted on the spot, paralyzed as Twilight took a menacing step towards her. “I can’t let you leave!” Twilight exclaimed. “This ‘Garbanzo’ represents a massive unforeseen complication that could undermine the entire Beanis corporate empire I’ve been slaving tirelessly to build!”

Drawn out by the yelling, a door behind Twilight peeked open, a topless girl with green skin and freckles peering cautiously at the confrontation. Neither Twilight or Moondancer noticed, but I watched as her mouth pursed itself into a line upon seeing Twilight’s behavior. How much did she know about her employer? Was this type of episode new? Or a well-kept secret?

“One way or another, I’m taking that Beanis,” Twilight stated through gritted teeth. “It represents a massive security risk, regardless of what you might feel.”

She… called me an it. That’s...

Moondancer paled. “T-Twilight? What’s wrong with you? What are you saying? This isn’t you! You wouldn’t… There’s no way I’m letting you take him from me!” she cried, resolute.

However, her willpower amounted to little. With lightning speed, Twilight pulled a bright blue Beanis out of her pocket and squeezed. A burst of smoky gas sprayed out into Moondancer’s face. Inhaling on reflex, she coughed, her grip on me suddenly weakening.

Terrified, I could only look on as she collapsed to the floor moments later, falling onto her stomach. I rolled away from her hand, bouncing off a cold, steel cabinet.

Struggling to keep her eyes open, tears of regret flowing, Moondancer reached an arm out towards me. “G-Garban-zo.”

That was the last word she spoke before collapsing into unconsciousness.

Twilight had the audacity to smile. “Prototype knockout gas Beanis. Seems effective to me. Now then, where were we… ah, yes.”

Reaching down, she picked me up, triumphant. “You are coming with me.”

Like hell I wanted to. “Bitch,” I sent.

If I’d gotten a rise out of Twilight, she didn’t show it. She simply kept that sinister smile on, slowly walking over to the room across from where the green girl was observing, and shut the door behind her.

It was all my fault. If only I hadn’t talked Moondancer into coming here, this never would have happened. We would still be together. Still be living out our joyful days. Instead, it seemed my faith had been woefully misplaced.

Twilight cackled to herself, placing me onto a metallic countertop. “You know, on second thought, I don’t think I’m going to bother with a vivisection,” she said, pulling a gleaming-edged scalpel from a drawer. “There’s no need to waste any more of my time on this faulty thing.”

Seems this is it, then. She was going to kill me. As quickly as I came into the world, I would be departing it. Fitting, that my creator would also become my destroyer. So be it. I had no regrets, and would cherish all my memories of those blissful moments.

Still, my soul ached for Moondancer. I could pass on in peace, knowing she would live. But how much grief would she carry with her? I hoped she would not mourn for me, and would learn from our bond to find new happiness, move on.

Holding this wish in my mind, that her love would not morph into hate, I gazed up at Twilight’s manic grin as she raised her scalpel. There was a blur of motion, then pain. And I was awake no more.

Epilogue

Moondancer stood in the center of a circle of figures. The darkness of the abandoned building, combined with the hoods of their white robes, obscured their faces. She wore an identical robe, with the addition of a necklace, forged of gold in a pristine shape. Much time had been spent preparing for this day, months lost in preparation. Learning, gathering, preaching, all for the moment of salvation, of retribution for the fallen. Beanos would pay, and the world would be restored.

She spoke, addressing those reassembled. “Welcome, my sisters and brothers, to the first meeting of the New Pythagoreans.”