Foalcon Kick

by WhatDidIJustRead

Rating: mature
Tags: Fetish, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Pipsqueak, Non-consensual, Random, Violence, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Anon
Length: 1396

Anon loves to kick little ponies. He gets off on it. No, like he actually gets off. It's bad.

Anon kicks young ponies. It's his only way of finding sexual gratification in the world of Equestria.

Yeah, this is about as dumb as it sounds. If this is your fetish, then, uh... enjoy, I guess? If not, have fun!

Published 2019-02-06 14:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-06 14:50:01 UTC

Puny pony punting

Anon's eyes scanned left and right as he stalked through Ponyville. His predatory gait carried him past quaint cottages and quiet little shops. Focus kept low to the ground where his targets would be, he stepped heavily on the dirt road, pants tight with anticipatory arousal. He saw many ponies who recognized the look in his eyes, a bestial lust that needed desperately to be sated. They stepped aside, scared of getting in his way lest they draw his ire.

Then he saw one.

A stubby little piebald colt, white with caramel spots, including a cute-looking one that encircled his left eye. He had a round little body (perfect for rolling), with just the right amount of padding. Anon smirked and licked his lips hungrily, approaching the unsuspecting young pony.

The colt looked up at Anon and smiled. "Hey, mister!" he said cheerfully.

Anon unzipped his pants, smile growing. His thick cock flopped out, exposed to the air. The small pony's eyes widened in worry as he looked up at the unexpected sight.

"U-um, I'm uh, Pipsqueak... W-what's your name?" he stuttered, the introduction coming automatically despite the strange circumstances. Anon's grin grew. Oh yeah, this was gonna be fun.

Raising his right leg, he lined himself up, taking careful aim and wrapping his right hand around his throbbing shaft. With a small grunt, he flung his boot-covered foot forward, connecting with Pipsqueak's chest with an extremely satisfying boof. With a loud moan of satisfaction, he pumped his cock once as the colt was launched several feet in the air, flying back toward a white stuccoed wall. Another pump as his target slammed into the building, rebounding off of it like a rubber ball. The cute little horse fell against the ground and bounced several times before rolling to a stop, and Anon stroked himself in time with each bounce. Oh, yes.

"Hey!" Pipsqueak said as he got up. "What was that for?"

Anon closed in quickly and punted the little guy once more, making him hit the same wall harder with a soft "oof!" He jerked his hard meat as the pony bounced around again.

And the colt just stood right back up, completely undamaged. "Oi!" he said, his Trottingham accent coming out strongly. "You wot, mate??" His eyebrows furrowed, annoyed. Anon didn't care. He kicked again and moaned, the soft little pony being just the right shape, weight, size, and consistency. More pleasing strokes, more harmless bounces.

Pipsqueak stood up again, only slightly dazed. Anon masturbated furiously. Fuck yeah, these little horses were just totally indestructible. He had always wanted to kick a living thing without actually hurting it, never realizing just how goddamn satisfying it would be.

"That's it! I'm gettin' me mum!" the invincible little plaything said.

"Oh no you don't!" Anon said, awkwardly jogging forward, dick in hand, to land another solid blow on Pip's rear left flank. The pony shouted as he sailed upward in a rapid spin, falling back down to the ground in a neat arc. With a huff, he stood up yet again, defiant.

"You'd better bloody stop this at once, or-"

A black boot smacked the unamused colt under the chin, again sending him spiralling through the air. Anon could feel himself approaching his climax as he stroked his slightly larger than average manhood. Pipsqueak landed directly on his face. This time when he got up, he had to spit out a mouthful of dirt and grass. Anon saw his chance and took it shamelessly, closing in to deliver what felt like the hardest kick yet to the distracted foal.

The soft mushy pony flesh had just the right amount of give, and it was like squeezing a stress ball with his foot. As soon as his final hit landed, he came, a jet of white seed travelling in an arc through the air, like a miniature version of the path Pip was on. Anon's essence fell against the dirt in globs, and before his next spurt, the colt landed on the road. Several ponies were watching with curiosity and minor horror as the human grunted out his pleasure. He fired his final few gushes as Pipsqueak recovered.

"Ugh! You... wanker!" he said in an adorable little falsetto, then coughed out a little cloud of dust.

"Ah... nnh... ahh... awwww!" Anon panted. The little horse was so grumpy. He smiled and poked his softening dick back into his pants, zipping them up. He approached Pip, who spread his stance wide as if prepared for another kick. Instead, Anon leaned down and wrapped his arms around the sweet small boy. "It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt ya, little British horse."

"Git offa me, you bloody... ah, ooh, that's actually... kinda nice," Pip said, melting against the human. Anon's right arm was wrapped comfortingly around his new little friend while his left hand was scratching him on his neck and behind his ear.

"Good horse," Anon said warmly.

"Anon! You didn't kick him, did you?" came a voice from behind him. He rolled his eyes and turned his head to see Officer Twilight Sparkle of the Fun Police.

"What kinda stupid question is that?" he scoffed. "Of course I did."

"You can't just go around kicking ponies! It's rude!" she said with an adorable grumpy hoof stomp.

"Aww, come on, he liked it! Didn't you, little guy?" Anon asked, smiling down at Pip.

"No, I'm still a bit ticked at y-" Anon cut him off by covering his mouth with the ear-scratching hand.

"Which I'm sure is horse British for he liked it," the human said to a mid-eyeroll Twilight Sparkle.

"I mean it, Anon. Can't you find some other way to... do whatever it is you do with that thing between your legs?" Twilight asked with a sincere scowl.

"Nope," Anon said as he vigorously scritched and belly-rubbed a giggling Pipsqueak. "And it's my dick, and it's called jerking off. Seriously, how do you ponies not have them?"

"We've already been over pony reproduction with you."

Anon shuddered. "Look, I need a way to deal with my urges, and kicking tiny horses is the only way I can. It doesn't even hurt you. Right, kid?"

"Ahhh, yessss, that's the stuff," Pip said, eyes half lidded as he received the nicest belly rub of his life.

"See? Look at him! Happiest little wanker in town," Anon said. Pipsqueak scowled. It didn't last long as Anon continued the distractingly delightful tummy rubs.

Twilight sighed. "Fine, just try to warn them next time. It may not hurt us, but it's still not pleasant."

"Yay! Hear that, little guy? I'm gonna get to kick you around again!" Anon said cheerfully.

"Blimey, if it comes with more of this, then sure!"

"Great! I've been getting kinda tired of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They've gotten to the point where they're basically begging me to kick them."

As if on cue, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle appeared around a corner. Apple Bloom was the first to notice Anon. "There he is!" she shouted. The three fillies ran up to him. "Anon! Anon! Kick us!"

He sighed. "Sorry, girls, but I already came. All thanks to my new little friend here!" he exclaimed. Pip responded with unintelligible pleased British horse noises as Anon pet his mane.

"Awwww!" they all three lamented.

"But Scootaloo has a new trick she wants to try out, and she needs you to kick her for it," Apple Bloom said. The small pegasus nodded in affirmation with a disappointed frown. Anon frowned too, sad to see her so crushed.

"You know what? Maybe I can get off just one more time. But only if Officer Twilight will let us have fun," he said with a sidelong glance at the purple wet blanket.

"Oh, fine," Twilight said. "But don't kick anypony else without their permission."

"Yaaaay!" the Crusaders cheered.

Pip was still wiggling happily under Anon's magical hands as they found all the right spots on his neck.

"Alright, let me just get Anon Junior back up," Anon said, unzipping his pants and pulling out his flaccid dong to work it back to attention. As he stroked himself, the three excited fillies pranced around him playfully. He smiled warmly.

He missed some things about his old life, but he wouldn't trade his new one for the world.