Memoirs of a condemned soul

by Tropic_Turd

Rating: teen
Tags: Death, Alternate Universe, Sad, Nightmare Moon, Drama, Original Character, Bat Pony, Suicide / Self Harm, Tragedy, Gore, Violence, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4839

The following journal entries were written by Nightsky Horizon, a Thestral soldier who fought in the Great Siege of Canterlot. Where his hopes and dreams of a happy future was shattered by the harsh reality of war.

The following journal entries were written by Nightsky Horizon, a Thestral soldier who participated in the Great Siege of Canterlot. A great battle that occurred over a thousand years ago during the height of the Nightmare Rebellion. After a long string of victories, he and many other young soldiers believed that war will soon come to a close. They dreamed of marching home to their families once victory had been achieved. The trials and horrors they faced in Canterlot shattered that dream.

Cover art belongs to TheNeitherVoid

Published 2019-02-06 14:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-06 14:30:01 UTC

Canterlot - The hanging city

March 21

Today right after taking a bath, our company commander assembled us in front of the General’s tent along with the rest of the army. All five thousand of us were present as the general made his announcement. General Noctre congratulated us for our valiant performance during the siege of Cloudsdale which ended last week. Then he told us to break camp, and prepare to move out. The next phase of this war is upon us. They say a two pronged attack will be carried out, one directed at Canterlot and the other at Celestia’s hideout in the Everfree. Victory is at hand and everypony knew it, eternal night will soon be achieved and prosperity will reign.

March 29

While we set up camp, I noticed our company commander standing on top of a boulder. Captain Bleak was staring silently at the city of Canterlot, the same city our army was tasked to take. I approached him and asked him if anything was wrong. He told me everything was perfect. That ever since we broke Cloudsdale’s III and VI Pegasi Legions, there were no longer any true soldiers within Celestia’s army. TO reach that mountain and to take the city will not be difficult for us. Nightmare Moon and her general’s know where the Loyalists’ weak point is. “Victory is not far away, brother!” he told me with a smile on his face. Soon we will be back with our families. Soon I will reunite with my beloved, Petunia.

April 3

The central plains of Equestria is so beautiful. What great expanse of land the Loyalist day-dwellers occupy, what rich fields there are to be had here once the war is over. The things they have here are so different from what we had in the mountain homes. Here they have wide fields flowing with milk and honey. They have fruit orchards, farms, vast herds of cattle and so much more. Let’s get this over with and finish this quickly though. I believe Nightmare Moon will carry the thing through and reward us all for our efforts.

April 8

Captain Bleak walked in on our tent this midnight. He read out the Queen’s orders to us. She expects victory and that everypony will carry out his duty with distinction and valor. We will give her victory. Nothing shall stop us. Nopony can resist the might of her children of the night.

April 11

We are advancing towards Canterlot along an ancient Unicornian road. Yesterday, a group of Loyalist Siege Unicorns unleashed a barrage of large fireballs at us when we were crossing a forest. After that, a small chapter of their knights charged at us from the front. A pitiful act of bravery that gave them nothing but a few dead Thestrals at the cost of an entire unit of their own. The day-dwellers were getting desperate. “The Loyalists are throwing in their last forces,” Captain Bleak explained to us while we marched. Large scale help is coming for us once the Everfree Castle falls and the Loyalists will be beaten.

Just this dusk, soldiers who displayed acts of valor in yesterday’s skirmish were presented with decorations and medals. Will I return to Petunia without one? I believe that for Canterlot, Nightmare Moon herself will decorate us all.

April 24

Splendid news. The vanguard of our army has reached the entrance to the City of Canterlot and have captured that part of the city. The Loyalists have two alternatives, either they jump off the mountain or they give themselves up. The rest of the army will enter the city unopposed. I joined my Captain in interrogating a captured Loyalist Knight that was brought back from the frontline. He was wounded, but he told us that the Knights of Canterlot and its residents will fight for the city to the last pony. We both laughed, but something incomprehensible was happening though. While they say that our part of the city was quite tame, the areas under loyalist control was resisting us bitterly. One of my friends returning from the front line told me that the Unicorns fought as if they were no longer sane. Fanaticism…

April 28

A continuous bombardment on all sides lit up the night as we marched up the mountain road. Our advance is slow. Less than ten kilometers and we’ll reach the city gates, or what’s left of it. During the day we can see the smoke and at night we could see the bright orange glow. They say that the whole city was on fire. By Nightmare Moon’s orders our Sky Dragoons unleashed hell and fire on that dreaded place. That’s what those Loyalist’s need. Soon they’ll accept the reality that resistance is futile.

May 4

When we arrived at the city, we were immediately met by the grim sight of our wounded comrades returning from the battle. The general assigned our unit to the front. We marched through the night and reached the Royal Academy of Arts, or what’s left of it. There we linked up with an elite vanguard company that was occupying it. The captain also showed off his piano skills when he found one of the instruments in pristine condition. Outside, we can see the smoke rising from all around. It’s a happy thought that the war was going to end soon. That was what everypony here is saying. I wished the days and nights would just pass more quickly. I wanted to go home. I want to see Petunia again.

May 5

Our ad hoc unit comprised of fresh soldiers and battered vanguard troops has been ordered to attack and take Clover Hospital. The streets of the city were a death trap. We were always on the edge out here. There was no peace. All night we were at the mercy of spells flung at us from afar. During the day, we had to keep an eye out for Loyalist ambush attacks. There were also bodies lying around. The decaying piles of flesh were no longer recognizable and they smelled horrible. Goddess protect me. I don’t want to end up like them.

May 8

It’s been two days and those damned Loyalists are still fighting. Stubborn bastards. Our unit lost half a dozen ponies last night. Those Unicorn spells are so unpredictable. One moment they’re passing by you, the next they suddenly curve and head for you. The captain assigned me to the unit’s HQ detail. Petunia must be praying for my safety or it might just be my luck, but I’ve been taken away from combat duty.

May 11

The fight continued and it brought us out of the safety of the hospital and into the streets. I can see the Castle of Canterlot from here. It was on fire like everything else. Everywhere I look there are dead bodies and fire. After an encounter with a Loyalist raiding party earlier, I’m convinced that these Unicorns have lost all their sanity. It’ll only be a matter of time before these fanatics start resorting to the use of black magic.

May 13

An unlucky number on an unlucky day, Friday. This evening, a surprise close range barrage from a group of Siege Unicorns inflicted heavy losses on our unit. Thirty dead and over sixty were wounded. The Loyalists were no longer ponies in my eyes. They were beasts, trapped in a cage. They won’t give themselves up.

After the carnage had ended, we searched for survivors. Captain Bleak and I found a wounded Unicorn mare. She was just twelve years old and was wearing the robes of a student. He tried to approach it while telling her he meant no harm. She didn’t get the message. The child growled at us and began glowing. I had no idea what was happening, but my commander did. He pushed me out of the way before I could get caught in the blast. Our unit’s apothecaries and healers tried their best, but he died a few minutes later. Operational Command was transferred to Major Duskwing, the commander of the vanguard company and the only officer that still had all his limbs.

May 16

What remained of our unit linked up with a fresh company of soldiers before we headed out to capture a walled grain storage. The damned thing was already on fire by the time we got there. We were met by a hail of arrows and spells when we approached, the Loyalists were dug in and well entrenched around the thing. The bastards knew we were coming and they burned their own supplies. They knew they weren’t going to hold this part of the city. The creatures defending what remained of the storage were no ponies, they were demons that had death on their lifeless eyes.

May 18

We finally managed to breach the outer defenses of the storage house. They didn’t stop fighting; they didn’t even look afraid. As if they knew we were going to break in eventually. The bastards knew they were going to die. Major Duskwing told me: “These Unicorn defenders are surrounded, but they will not surrender.” I asked him why. “Because they are Unicorns. And Canterlot is holy ground to them. They will not give up this holy ground without a fight.”

That means all the buildings here in Canterlot will be defended like this. If that’s the case, none of us here will be going back home alive. Our letter runner arrived today and I got a letter from Petunia. She’s expecting to see me marching home with my unit once victory is achieved. Victory. That’s a word I haven’t heard anypony say in a while.

May 20

The battle for the storage house continues. The Loyalists somehow encircled us and we had to take shelter in the cellars. There were less than seventy of us left, all cramped in that dark cellar. The major ordered three ponies including myself, to run through the Loyalist position and bring his message to the general. The three of us were the unit’s last hope. I was the only one who managed to get through. Among the two that died, one of them was a friend since childhood. Corporal Burrows was his name. He was supposed to get married once the war was over.

May 22

The general reluctantly allowed me to join the relief force. We smashed through the Loyalist lines and they broke about an hour through the attack. Once we linked up the survivors, we marched forward. Our ad hoc unit was now composed of the relief company and fifty battle hardened veterans. The fresh troops from the relief company were all excited to see more action. Poor bastards. If only they knew.

May 26

Our unit got involved in a lot of fighting this past few days. Ever since the storage house fell, the Loyalists began to fight even more fanatically. Their tactics became viler as the days went by. The streets became empty and devoid of life. They have dug in and fortified themselves in houses, business establishments, schools and hospitals. Even the sewers were crawling with Loyalist rats.

The Loyalist scum were everywhere and they all fought with renewed vigor. You wouldn’t even see them before you realized you’ve been blown to bits. The attacks didn’t just come from our front, it also came from our rear, in buildings that we have supposedly captured.

The Major ordered us to stop taking in prisoners after what happened yesterday. An elderly unicorn pony approached our positions with his hoofs held up high. But when we approached him he suddenly exploded taking four ponies with him. Canterlot was hell on earth. Those who got sent home due to injuries were the lucky ones, even if they no longer had all their limbs.

May 28

Our unit, and the entire army, were celebrating victory. Together with the Sky Dragoons, we managed to smash through the makeshift fortress at the town square. Half the city was ours. I was even given a medal by General Noctre himself. It was for my valorous actions during the attack on the storage house. The Lunar Cross, one of the highest awards in the military, hung from my neck. I immediately wrote to Petunia after I was dismissed.

I was so happy yet so sad at the same time. We paid dearly for our victory. During the past few weeks we took half the city at the cost of over five hundred dead and a thousand wounded ponies. There only twenty ponies from my original company left. We all cried and drank as we remembered our fallen comrades.

June 3

We marched through the day and hunkered down in a wrecked tavern. I sat down and looked at my squad, all of them fresh recruits except for me. They were all either burning with excitement for tonight’s assault or were wondering as to why I, their sergeant, was silent. I told them that I was probably going to die tomorrow. They laughed, probably because they thought it was a joke. I couldn’t blame them. We were supposed to take an apartment complex that was being used as a forward base by the Loyalists. I could see the whole thing from the tavern’s windows. It was day and we had difficulty looking at it, but we could see a lot of shadows moving in the windows. The whole building was crawling with those scum.

We moved to a courtyard behind the tavern and found a lot of crosses with helmets on them. We’ve lost a lot of ponies and tonight we will lose a lot more. Damn this. Damn it all.

June 4

Our unit is attacking the apartment building right now. I’ve already lost a few ponies trying to break through. We were surprised to see Pegasi fighting alongside the Unicorns. Something was wrong here, something was very wrong. The moment I informed the major about the discovery he told us to break the attack and retreat back to the wrecked tavern. He told us we have underestimated their numbers and we will be surrounded and slaughtered if we continue.

June 5

We attacked four times and were repelled four times. By now, half my squadron is dead and a quarter of it was shell shocked. Unicorn archers picked off anypony who was dumb enough to expose himself on open ground. There were no siege Unicorns in sight though, that relieved me but it worried the major. He said that the Unicorn’s are holding them back in reserve because of the Pegasi reinforcements. I think they’re all dead.

June 10

The Loyalists are close. Too close. Our Sky Dragoons can’t drop fire bombs because of this. They couldn’t even approach the building; it was too well fortified. We began planning an attack that will break that place once and for all. The major was still worried as to why there where pegasi in Canterlot. A messenger came to us a few hours later. He told us that Nightmare Moon’s army has reached the Everfree and was beginning a lightning offensive. Half the Forest had been taken in just three days. Our ponies cheered in delight for the first time since we started the attack on the apartment building.

June 14

I woke up to a fantastic display of firepower this evening. Our Sky Dragoons and siege catapults bombarded the Loyalist positions while we watched from a safe distance. The smoke was too thick and I can’t see anything, but that’s a good thing. That means whatever was there didn’t survive.

June 22

For the fifth time, our attack ended in failure. The Loyalist stood their ground. We’ve lost so many ponies during the assault. Every time you move you either had to jump over ruble or walk on your dead comrades. Sometimes both. The air was too thick with smoke and the stench of the dead bodies was revolting. We had to retreat and leave the dead behind to rot. A few months ago we all thought that Canterlot will fall quickly like Cloudsdale. Now, we were stuck in a limbo of death and suffering, the end of which is nowhere in sight.

The few ponies who survived in my squad began calling Canterlot the graveyard of the Thestral Army. There are only a few of us left in the unit. Major Duskwing told us that we were to be withdrawn and reinforced for the final attack. The major looked terrible. He barely had any sleep this past few days and the emotional strain of sending young ponies to their deaths was starting to break him. I felt the same way.

June 23

Rumors are beginning to spread that Nightmare Moon’s army has been defeated by Celestia’s and that she was banished to the moon. We all laughed at the rumor until we looked up at the night sky. Something was wrong, something was terribly wrong. The general dismissed it as some sort of Loyalist mind trick but a lot of ponies doubted this. There were also rumors that the surviving Cloudsdale Legionaries had banded together and formed a single Legion that aided the defenders of the Everfree Castle. They say the whole forest is now littered with crucified Thestral soldiers and Lunar Knights.

June 27

We finally did it. Our ponies had finally captured the Apartment Complex, but we couldn’t advance. The Loyalists that were fighting on the other side are not ponies, but were cast iron demons from the deepest pits of Tartarus. They never get tired, they never retreat, they weren’t afraid of our superior numbers but most important of all, they just kept coming. We were exhausted. Our unit was cut down to half strength only a few days after our numbers were replenished. My squad of nine has been cut down to three ponies including myself. The Unicorn archers from the surrounding buildings won’t even let you lift your head. You make one wrong move out here and you’ll die.

June 28

Everypony on frontline duty now looks at their work as if it was a curse. Your only hope for survival out here is to get injured and taken back to the rear, away from the fighting.

July 3

Our unit was reinforced and we were ordered to lead the final assault. The castle was near our grasp and our forces are closing in from all sides. What remained of the Loyalist defenders are held up inside. They are trapped with nowhere to run. They won’t surrender, we all knew that. They will fight to the bitter end like the stubborn fools they are. We had to advance slowly. The aim of the Unicorn and Loyalist defenders are getting better and better as the days’ pass. There have also been reports of self-inflicted wounds among our soldiers. A cowardly display, but I can’t blame them. Almost all our battle hardened stallions were dead after all. All that remained were mere colts.

July 10

My hopes were raised when I received a letter from my dear Petunia today. The ponies back home expect the fighting to be over by September. They were all excited to see us marching back home, victorious. She told me that the image of the mare on the moon was a sign from our monarch that victory was near. They were wrong. They were terribly wrong. If they could only see what Canterlot and its defenders has done to our army, to our soldiers, to our souls.

July 18

For the eight time this week, we were driven back and forced out of the castle courtyard. We were all exhausted and almost all our officers were dead. Those that aren’t dead are too injured to stand or too shell shocked to thing straight. There are no longer any officers that are fit for combat, except for a certain major. Major Duskwing lost his left eye and a wing yesterday, but he refuses to be taken away from the field. “I would never abandon my soldiers!” he told me.

From the building we were in, I could see the bodies of our comrades sprawled across the Castle’s courtyard and gardens. This city was not a field of honor, it was a mad house.

July 21

The Loyalists have gone on the offensive. It started this midday, when we spotted a Pegasus scout while we were on guard duty. It was a Pegasi Legion scout, wearing complete armor. After it flew by us, another one appeared, then another and another. Soon over a hundred Legionnaire scouts were circling the city’s air space. To our surprise, they didn’t move in to attack us. Our Sky Dragoon’s may be stronger than these flyers, but they were outnumbered. Their commander refused to send what remained of his flying corps into the sky. Because if he did, they will be easy picking.

The sight of a hundred battle ready Pegasi soon sent the castle’s defenders into a frenzy. We heard a loud and incoherent battle cry erupt from the castle’s interior before the main doors opened. Hundreds of defenders charged through the courtyard in a massive wave. Everypony took part, the local militia, the Pegasus defenders, Unicorn Knights, armed civilians and the Siege Unicorns that were held in reserve. They unleashed hell upon our position and we were forced to retreat. Within an hour, the defenders managed to push us back to the town square before their advance was halted by our reserves. All the ground we gained in the past month was lost. All hope, as it seems, was also lost.

July 29

We are surrounded and trapped. It was announced to us this morning. The Loyalist Army of the Everfree and the Last Legion of Cloudsdale had arrived on the front gates of the city, cutting us off from the outside world. One of the soldiers finally snapped and began shouting wildly. “Nightmare Moon is gone! All hope is lost! Can’t you fools see!” he shouted. The general had him hanged.

July 31

Celestia flew to the center of the city today, with a retinue of Pegasi Praetors to make an announcement. Her “Royal Canterlot Voice” allowed her message to be carried across the city. She started by confirming that Nightmare Moon had indeed been banished to the moon. Then she offered us mercy. “Lay down your arms and I will forgive you no matter how grave your sins are. Please! Just stop so we can end all this suffering!” she pleaded. Our general refused the surrender much to the dismay of the officers. He told us it was just a rouse. That the moment we lay down our arms, the Pegasi Legionnaires will have us crucified. A lot of us were convinced. This was the Last Legion of Canterlot after all. Their hatred for what we did to their home was still fresh in their hearts.

So here we were, in the middle of the city, trapped between two enemy armies. One side was made up of the city’s garrison composed of fanatical Unicorns and a hoofful of Pegasi fighters. The other was composed of Celestia’s elite guard, the remains of the Solar Knight’s and a legion of bloodthirsty Pegasi.

August 1

We got another message from the Loyalist army today, it was from the legatus legionis of the Pegasi Legion. He told us that he reluctantly accepts Celestia’s decision to extend mercy to us and he was willing to let bygones be bygones. That we should be thankful that her majesty was that merciful. He also told us that we had a week to accept Celestia’s demands before they begin their assault. The general still won’t accept defeat.

August 3

Our supply is running low. The rations for everypony has been cut in half. To make matters worse, the Pegasi have somehow managed to bring in a blizzard. In the middle of summer. We were all still awaiting rescue from what remained of Nightmare Moon’s defeated army. They sent us a promise through a carrier pigeon that they will be coming for us. That we should hold out for as long as we can. They need to hurry; we won’t last another month in these conditions.

August 7

Rations have been cut to the point where we began to suffer from hunger. Starvation was turning a lot of my comrades mad. They are issuing one loaf of stale bread for my entire squad today. That’s five ponies for a single piece of bread. I tried to send letters home but I got no reply.

August 8

The legion has begun their attack. They were thousands strong, composed of all the veterans that survived the destruction of the old legions. Our forces, from its original number of about five thousand, was now only a small force of about a thousand soldiers not counting the wounded. Half of us couldn’t even stand up straight. We were all either injured, hungry, or both.

The enemies steadfast discipline and skill took us all by surprise. Their advance was slow but steady and they suffered almost no casualties. We had been so used to fighting fanatical monsters that we forgot how deadly and sophisticated the Pegasi Legions were when it comes to fighting. They fought and maneuvered with unmatched precision. It was a slaughter. Before the day ended only half of our forces survived, but the enemy failed to break us.

August 11

Three questions were always in the mind of the surviving soldiers and officers. When will the Loyalist raiding parties stop attacking and let us sleep in peace, at least for one night? How are we going to fill our empty stomachs since we, apart from the stale crackers, received nothing at all. And when will the rest of the army come and rescue us? Rumors are beginning to spread. They say that the message sent by pigeon was a ploy to fool us to continue fighting so that the rest of the army could retreat up north. I hope that these stay as rumors.

August 14

Everypony is beset by hunger. The best meal anypony can find out here is a dog or cat, but hunting while under constant threat from Pegasi raids is no easy task. The Loyalists have decided to starve us out instead of attacking directly. Several ponies have deserted their posts. The Loyalists’ promise of food, shelter and medical care was a tempting one, but I felt as if it was too good to be true. Last night we were ordered to attend the hanging of several captured deserters. Some of my own ponies are starting to question the general’s decision to stand and fight.

August 18

The major and the rest of the officers told us to be prepared for action. Knight Commander Eve of the Lunar knights has assembled her forces at the foot of the mountain. They intend to break through. This lifted everyponies spirits. Nightmare Moon guide those brave souls.

August 21

We are still waiting for the order, but there was silence. Are they still fighting? Have they been defeated? Was it all just a hoax meant to boost morale? All these questions lingering in my mind is worse than any torture.

August 23

Still no orders. I am now convinced that Knight Commander Eve is a liar. Or has she and the Lunar Knights been defeated by the Loyalists on the way here?

August 25

This sunset, Celestia announced that the Lunar Knights have been defeated. All hope is lost. We were all either going to be killed, captured or both.

August 26

One of my ponies, Private Darkwater, was caught deserting his post. The general himself ordered me to behead him in front of my squad. Major Duskwing tried to reason that doing so will worsen morale but the general insisted. The poor colt didn’t beg for his life; he already knew he was dead either way. What have I become.

August 28

Major Duskwing committed suicide. He couldn’t take it anymore. Truth be told, I couldn’t take it anymore.

August 29

All the cats and dogs we could find have already been eaten. I would eat a dead rat if I could find one. They say it’s meat is not that bad once you get used to it. Around us ponies are deserting but nopony was stopping them. We were all too weak and frail. Most of us even looked like corpses.

September 1

My squadron has made up its mind. Tonight, we will desert our posts and approach the Loyalist positions with our hooves up. I don’t care anymore. The Loyalists could torture me all they want, they could even kill me and I wouldn’t bat an eye. I just want all this madness to end. I want to go home. I want to see Petunia again.

Author's Note

Just a one-shot story of an AU that I might expand if well received.