Star Overhead

Chapters

Hybrid Rainbow
Canterlot Bambi
Funny Bunny (Part 1)
Funny Bunny (Part 2)
My Hoof (Part 1)
My Hoof (Part 2)
Bran-New Lovesong (Part 1)
Bran-New Lovesong (Part 2)
Thank you, My Twilight (Part 1)
Thank you, My Twilight (Part 2)
Epilogue: Beautiful Picture
Ride on, Shooting Star

Hybrid Rainbow

Author's Note

Twilight

I dreamed of her again last night. Every time I do, I can always hear her voice, but I can never tell what she looks like. The dream is always clear everywhere else, but anytime I try to look at anypony, they’re blurred out, like a window covered in heavy rain, fluid and constantly changing.

We’re up in the mountains, high above the rest of the world. So high up that the stars are clear above our heads in broad daylight and you can see the clouds down below. She’s holding me and talking to Dad about something. He leans in to play with me, tickling and nuzzling me like a good father would, but then he jerks back really quick. Something weird happens and Dad starts holding his head. She’s screaming and holds me tighter, backing away from him. I don’t know what’s going on and I start crying.

Darkness explodes from Dad’s head and fills the room like smoke from a fire. She starts casting light all around and searching for him, but he’s nowhere to be found. Dad’s face shows up in front of us, forming out of the blackness from nothing. He’s crying and says something to her. She shouts after him, but he takes off to the sky, the darkness flowing behind him and leaving their bedroom. She runs to the balcony and reaches out after him, but the darkness continues into the stratosphere, eventually fading from view. She falls to her knees and holds me tightly, whispering his name over and over again while rocking me slowly to sleep. When next I wake up, I’m with Dad again, and she’s gone.

I sat up from bed and tried to rub the sand out of my eyes. The dream was so vivid this time, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I have a lot of dreams about Dad and Shining, but this one was different. I still can’t decide if it was a dream or a nightmare. It was scary, but… almost like I wasn’t the one who was most afraid in it.

Oh well. Just another morning. At least this time, I’m not bleeding.

“Nightlight honey, would you mind getting me a drink?”

Lazy old hag.

“Bramos, go be a dear and grab Celestia a beer from the fridge, won’t you?”

Lazy old man.

The matte white pony got up from shuffling papers around for Dad and headed into the kitchen. It’d been a week since the two strangers started living in my house and I still didn’t know how I felt about it. They treat Bramos like a slave… or a robot, or whatever he is. Meanwhile, she just spends her day watching TV and loafing around all the time, and Dad… is surprisingly getting a lot of work done. But pushing all his other responsibilities, such as taking care of me, on to Bramos, so it’s almost like he’s my dad now and the other two are just my useless housemates.

I finished the breakfast of toast, eggs, and fried hay patties that Bramos made and grabbed all my stuff for school.

“Oh, you useless dolt, you got me the wrong one! I like the sweet ones, take it back and get me another.” Celestia took the beer in her magic and threw it in Bramos’ face, only for it to bounce off and then he hot-potato’d it until he caught it in his hooves. The white pony sulked back to the kitchen and I let out a breath.

“You know, you could be nicer to him.”

Celestia turned her head slowly and stared at me with complete apathy while she picked her nose. What a slob. “What? He’s not even all there. It’s just a doll. Might as well be a robot for all I care. Don’t you have friends to go meet or something?”

She’d effectively stolen Dad’s bathrobe and practically lived in it while she spent her days down here watching TV. That is of course, when she’s not out running over other ponies. She hit a farmer’s daughter and the shy pony who runs the gardening club in just the last few days. And those are just the kids I’ve seen at school. Who knows how many other ponies she’s run over?

I scowled at her but didn’t have anything better to say. She flicked her hoof at me and I just rolled my eyes. Bramos came to bring me my lunch that I’d forgotten and then I headed out the door.

“You guys suck.”

I met Pinkie under the bridge by the river, and today I found her with a brand new Kirifuda Click. So new, it still had some of the packaging plastic on it, but I figured I’d ask anyways.

“Is that new?” She glanced up at me from her game for a second, then went right back to it. Pinkie isn’t typically one to play games on her own, so that was interesting.

“Yeah. I finally got paid yesterday.”

The fog was thin this morning and it wasn’t super late just yet. Another rare and strange thing in Underhoof.

“I’m surprised you had enough. You skip out so often, I didn’t think your dad would be willing to give you the money.” I sat down to watch and Pinkie rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. He has to pay me for my work. It’s against the law if he doesn’t. And it’s not like I ever do much anyways since my sisters are all so much better at it, anyways. Nopony cares if I’m there or not.” I rolled my own eyes at that.

“That is complete bullshit, but it’s none of my business what you do with your family. What are you playing?” Pinkie huffed and paused her game.

“It’s called Burning Blaze 3, it just came out a few days ago, it’s the third installment of a game I used to play all the time. You play as a devotee of Inferna, the goddess of fire, and your job is to purge the demons from the planet. They’re these horrible creatures that go around murdering, raping, and pillaging innocent ponies, so you set their buildings on fire with the goddess’s power.

For every demon you burn, the goddess awards you points to upgrade your skills and abilities so you can do your job easier. You burn your way through Hell until you finally meet the Demon King and fight him for the world. When the world is cleansed, you are given the goddess’s blessing and invited to go to heaven to serve at Inferna’s side.”

I pulled my mouth to the side and squinted at the game. Her character didn’t quite look like a pony, but the things she was burning certainly did.

“Huh. That’s kinda dark, isn’t it?” Pinkie shrugged and went back to it.

“Not any darker than any of the other games.” I decided to go check through her bag for the case, and when I found it, the rating said ‘M’ for mature on it. Her parents are devout ponies, so there’s no way they bought this for her.

“How’d you get it?” She raised an eyebrow and smirked at me.

“Oh, I have my ways.” I frowned.

“What did you do?” Pinkie paused her game and set it down, then pushed me to the ground.

“Oh, you know♥” She laid on top of me and started nibbling on my ear again. She smelled particularly sweet today and I just didn’t have the energy to fight back. I sighed.

Just another morning.

“Okay class, today we have a new student joining us. Please, go ahead and introduce yourself,” Mrs. Rich said. For once, she wasn’t going off about how her baby girl was the most amazing thing in the world, so Rarity and I suspected she was up to something. A transfer student was about the last thing I thought would happen though. Ponies come and ponies go in Underhoof, so I wonder how long this one will last?

“I wonder why she’s here?” I whispered to Rarity.

“No doubt her parents moved here for some reason or other. Nopony would ever willingly come to a Podunk town out in the boonies like this,” she whispered back. Solid logic to be sure. Mrs. Rich hushed the class, and the new kid stepped up. She was really short, so it was hard to see her from my seat in the fourth row from the front, but she sure was bright.

“The name’s Rainbow Dash, and I am gonna rock this sleepy little town’s world! You can all address me as ‘Future Wonderbolt’ or ‘Best Young Flier of 2009.’”

Well she certainly thinks highly of herself. Mrs. Rich made a kind of awkward face, like she was trying desperately not to smile and eventually caved and turned away.

“Pfft. W-why don’t you go take a seat, Miss Dash? T-there’s one open behind Twilight. Please, raise your hoof for her.” I raised my hoof, but much like the rest of the class, I was struggling to contain my laughter. The new kid scowled at everypony and I let out a noise as she passed.

“What’d you say to me!?” she yelled in my ear. Oh my goddess, her temper is as tall as she is!

“Oh, nothing. Don’t mind me~” I whistled.

New kid had some kind of extreme frown on her face, but eventually backed off and took her seat. Now that I could actually see her, she was about as tall as a fourth grader and bright cyan with a rainbow in her mane and tail. Literally. She had magenta eyes and very clearly, an attitude. No cutiemark, so that makes her like half of the class. She should fit in just fine with the rest of us outcasts. Especially after a stunt like that.

Who comes in on the first day of school and tells everypony that you won a contest four years ago? What a loser.

“Hey, Twilight!” Pinkie, Rarity and I had just left the school and weren’t but ten feet from the entrance when the new kid shouted my name. I sighed and turned around to face her… well, look down at her really. She was at least a few hooves shorter than everypony in class.

“Can I help you?” I can see where her parents got ‘Rainbow Dash,’ but maybe they should’ve waited a few years to see her personality. ‘Short Fuse’ would’ve been much more apt.

Tiny sauntered up to me like she was the queen of the world and only stopped when she was just inches from my snout. Well, if she wasn’t looking up anyways.

“You and me! Let’s go! Right here!” She reared up on her hind legs, finally making her slightly taller than me, and brought her hooves up to her face like she was about to box somepony.

Oh, geez, I can’t even stand like that very well. Screw this.

“Yeah, I don’t think so. See you tomorrow, I guess.” I turned away and so did the other girls.

“Wow, I didn’t think you stood out that much. I knew your very presence had the capacity to piss ponies off, but usually one must do something for that to happen. Good job Twilight.” I rolled my eyes.

“Thanks Rarity, I try pretty hard to be completely unassuming and irritating to anypony who looks at me. It’s the curse of being purple I guess. Where’s your mom by the way? Doesn’t she usually pick you up here?” Rarity sighed and shook her head.

“Well, typically, that is the case, but she said she had a client all day today, so I have to walk. She went to the trouble of having dinner ready this time instead of just ordering takeout because she forgot to make anything, so I suppose it’s a plus.”

I looked off into space thinking about that. I have no idea what Rarity’s mom does.

“Huh. Well, that’s a thing. You still going to see your dad next weekend?”

She nodded. “Yes, it should be nice to see him and Sweetie again. At the very least, it gets me away from this awful place for a few days, so that’s something. Oh, speaking of, how are you doing with your new roommates?”

I was about to complain about them when Pipsqueak flew over us and landed in front of me, back in her boxing pose.

“Hey! Who the fuck do you think you are!? Don’t ignore me!” I looked at her for a moment, then pushed her aside with my magic and kept walking.

“They’re the worst. Well, at least the Motor Mare is. She’s just a big old slob, and I think she’s having a weird effect on Dad too because he’s been ignoring me lately. In his place though, Bramos has been doing all the cooking and cleaning around the house. He’s really good at it, and he’s definitely a better cook than Dad, but I still don’t know what his deal is. She called him a doll today, and- oh, do you know what she did? She threw a full beer can in his face! He stopped what he was doing for Dad just to get up and get her a beer. This is, of course, at seven thirty in the morning and she’s already drinking by the way, but he got up and got her one, and she just… threw it at him! How much of a bitch do you have to be to-” the blue pegasus flew around us again, and this time, she did put her snout right up against mine.

“Listen here, bitch. Ignore me again and just see what happens. I can make it so you never walk again. That’s why they kicked me out of my last school.” I frowned and raised a half-lidded eyebrow.

“Really now? Most ponies would get jail time for that, regardless of age. Not that I believe it coming from some five-year-old pegasus, anyways. Can you go away now?” She reared back like I just struck her.

“Wha- I am not five! I turned twelve last November!” I rolled my eyes and sighed.

“Fantastic. Look, I don’t know what your deal is, but I’m just trying to go home. I don’t care about you, I don’t care about whatever you want from me, and I am just fine with that. Please go away.” At first, it didn’t look like she even processed that, but once the gears in that little head started to turn, her face made a slow morph back from shock to anger.

“Fuck you!” She took a step back and got up in her stance again, but then, I heard it. All my senses went into overdrive, and I started looking every which way for it. It was nearby, I could hear the music.

“She’s coming.”

Pinkie, finally brought back to reality from her game, paused it, put it and her headphones in her backpack, then started searching everywhere frantically with me. I couldn’t see her anywhere, but it was getting louder.

“Oh my goddess, oh my goddess, where is she!? Is another one of those things going to attack us again!?”

Rarity, very confused and suddenly now afraid with us, also started searching for something, but I doubt she knew what.

“Attack us? Whatever do you mean?” Then the realization dawned on her. “Oh no. S-she isn’t referring to-”

“She is,” I said quietly. Newbie was beginning to feel the panic, and when I saw her ears flick up and to the left, I followed them with my eyes.

“How is she even doing that!?”

There she was, coming from across the river, through the fog, flying from what must’ve been a jump, and driving through the wet, tall grass. She was cleaving through the greenery like a hot knife in butter and she was coming straight for us.

“Escape from the sinking, do you SEE what I mean?

Freedom beats the kingdom, and I saw YOU in my dreams!”

Oh goddess, that song again! She’s still blaring that same song on her radio so loud that everypony can hear it! I’d already abandoned hope of avoiding the swing, she was too close and coming too fast. She already had the guitar in her hoof and raised to her side. The bike charged forward even faster and the front wheel lifted off the ground. The mist and fog were trailing behind her, all the grass parting for her massive back tire, getting caught, and flying away. If it weren’t for the intense fear of being hit by that thing again, the sight might’ve been pretty.

“Little fillies shouldn’t be fighting!” The front wheel came down, the bike turned sideways, and she slid as the tires still rolled, kicking up dirt and grass till she made it to the sidewalk. Then came the bass.

TWANG!

Pipsqueak didn’t even see it coming. She had no time to react, just like the rest of us, only staring in awe of the massive unicorn on the flying bike with the guitar. The body of the bass landed squarely on poor Tiny’s forehead and her whole being reverberated like a baseball, following her head and leaving a rainbow-colored trail as she sailed into the wetland just past the baseball field to the left of the school.

“Whew! I thought I was gonna be too late. Nopony got hurt, right?” I think I felt my mouth fall open again.

“Nopony got hurt? Nopony got hurt!? You just beat the shit out of the new kid!” Celestia stroked her chin thoughtfully and then clapped.

“Ah, so my package did arrive on time. Nice.” I couldn’t help but just stare at her in dumbfounded silence as she looked on at the little rainbow trail that was slowly evaporating.

“You know, isn’t there like, shallow standing water over in that field?”

Oh my goddess!

“Gah! She’s gonna drown!”

Without much time to think, I started to run over that way, followed by my two classmates, to make sure Celestia didn’t kill the new kid. We made it over to where she landed face down in the mud. It was still bubbling as we approached, only to stop when we got there.

We all screamed. Between Rarity and I, we managed to pull her out with our magic. She’s not very big, but neither of us are very strong unicorns, and sixty pounds is sixty pounds. Pinkie, thankfully, helped us trudge back through the muddy grass with our dead weight on her back and, after we finally reached solid ground, we dropped the body and fell to our knees breathing hard.

“W-why… would you… do that… to somepony…?” I sputtered out as I caught my breath. I didn’t even see her move, but she was already inspecting the little pegasus.

“Hmm. That was the right chord, but she hasn’t woken up yet. That’s not good...” Suddenly, my anger bubbled up like a pot of boiling water.

“No shit, Sherlock! That’s three times this week! Why do you keep doing this!? Oh goddess, I don’t even know what to do with her! She’s completely out cold! Damn it, Pipsqueak, why did you have to come bother me?”

Celestia picked her up and held her out, much like a dead fish, with just one of her hooves… somehow, and shook her gently in the air, upside down.

“Yuck. They’ll put me on a list if I try to revive another one. I almost got arrested for the last one. Hey, kids, can either of you take it home and make sure it lives?” Rarity and Pinkie looked to Celestia, then to the out-cold pegasus, and finally to me.

“W-well, my mother isn’t going to be home today, so I don’t think that I can, um… do that, without her permission.” Celestia frowned.

“Worthless.” And then used her magic to send Rarity away.

“Gah! Where did she go!? Did you send her home at least!?”

Next, she turned to Pinkie, who took a hesitant step back, eyes glancing at the spot where Rarity once was.

“And you? Can you take care of it?” She held out the body and wiggled the muddy pegasus in front of Pinkie’s face.

Pinkie, very quickly, shook her head. “N-no, m-my parents w-”

Poof, she was gone in a burst of golden magic.

“Good goddess, children can do nothing for themselves these days. Not only are they dumber now, they’re more incompetent too.” Celestia shook her head and sighed, then eyed the dead fish. “Come along, Twilight. It looks like we have to fix it.” I put my hooves on my face and shook my head.

“Oh, Goddess, why have you cursed me so?”

“Ugh, what happened to my head…?” I didn’t bother getting up to check on her, I was in the middle of a fight with Pinkie and she was probably fine, anyways.

“Hey, look, she finally came to.”

“Gah! You! You!” She shouted and pointed at Celestia while wrapped up in her forelegs on my bed. There was an attempt to get away, but I knew all too well how difficult that was, and neither of them were wet.

“Geez. Couldn’t you have woken up half an hour ago?” I complained.

Celestia tightened her grip around the struggling filly in my ‘too-big-for-her’ bathrobe and cradled her like a doll. “Oh, but it’s more fun this way♥”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t care what you say, I will not share a bed with you. I will sleep on the couch if I have to.”

The giant unicorn pouted and squeezed the blue filly a little harder. “Aww, you’re such a spoilsport.” I turned my attention back to the game and finally, Tiny escaped her grip.

“Oh goddess, I can breathe again.” She hovered in the air for a few minutes catching her breath, then scanned the room. Celestia was in Dad’s bathrobe with her gigantic mane draping the bed and part of the carpet, I was playing my game online with Pinkie, and nothing else about my room was out of the ordinary… at least I don’t think there was.

She slowly sank back to the ground in a confused pose, with one hoof under her elbow and one under her chin, while she tried to figure out what happened, and probably where she was, too.

Celestia floated her bass from the corner to her hooves and started to play a little song. It was always strange to see her use the instrument for its intended purpose, but even more so to hear it. It sounded like a working electric, but didn’t need power or an amp.

“That’s it! You were there, and you were there, and you hit me! With that!” Pipsqueak pointed at her, then me, then her again, rising into the air with every point. I nodded and Celestia continued to hum and play her lullaby.

“Congrats, genius. Do you want a cookie? Ooh!” Pinkie came in with a swing and, right then and there, I countered just in time. I pumped one of my hooves in triumph. “Hell yeah, that’s a homerun!”

“Be nice, Twilight. Not everypony catches up with the program as quickly as you do. She’s still a filly, and as I said earlier, children-”

“Are stupid, yes, I remember, I was there.” The humming resumed, the lullaby continued, and Tiny sank back to the ground again.

“Okay, can somepony explain to me what in the hell just happened?” she asked.

“Oh, Twilight’s character has a counter move, if the opponent, or opponents, hit her within a specific timeframe, she returns their attack at double power and doesn’t take any damage.”

I saw Pinkie coming in with one of her power move feints and countered appropriately to show newbie how it worked.

She brought her hooves to her temples and rubbed slowly. “I know how a counter works. I have played that game before. WHERE. AM. I?” She asked, much more forcefully this time.

“Oh, you’re at my house,” Celestia said.

I turned my head and scowled at her. “No, this is my house, you just hang around here because you’re too fat to remove. She’s like a freaking cancer, I swear.”

She put a hoof to her chest, taken aback.

“Ah! I am not fat. I lost like, twenty pounds, about fourteen years ago and I haven’t gained weight since then,” Celestia said defiantly.

I rolled my eyes. “Weirdly specific, but whatever. I really doubt you spent a whole decade not eating the way you do here. Getting drunk at every time of the day, lazing around the house. I wouldn’t be surprised if you gained twenty pounds in just the week you’ve been here.”

Celestia turned and huffed. “You are just a big meanie. My weight is of nopony’s concern but mine.”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, my bed frame seems to disagree with you. You know it’s not supposed to bend like that.” Celestia scowled at the bed frame and then got up from the mattress and swung her bass over her back.

“I don’t have to take this. I’m going to go watch TV.” She stomped her way to the door and slammed it once she was out.

“Careful! You might just collapse the stairs in like that, you big, white hippo!” Celestia groaned from further in the house and I smiled to myself in satisfaction. Finally, something I can use against her.

With her finally gone, Tiny decided to walk over and sit by me on the floor in front of the Click and the TV.

“So, um… can you give me a straight answer? Please?” I looked at her mane, then her face, then back to my game.

“Depends. Did you get your mane from the pride parade? Ponies like you don’t typically like ‘straight’ and all.” She rolled her eyes and groaned.

“Oh my goddess, for the thirty-eight thousandth time today, I AM NOT GAY! It’s natural, my dad is the same way! I didn’t do it on purpose! Can you be serious for one fucking minute please!?”

I reared my head back and gestured to the game. “I’ve been serious this whole time. Pinkie is better at this than I am. Do you know how hard it is to keep a life lead on her? I let up for a second, and she kills me- oh, damn it! Just like that, apparently.” I stopped paying attention and Pinkie got me in a spike, shooting my character clear off the stage. Just for some extra salt on the wound, she still hadn’t taken any damage on this life yet, so that was that.

Pipsqueak raged and then ripped the controller out of my hooves. She spawned in, did some stuff, and Pinkie died. I had to blink because, as soon as Pinkie spawned in again, she did it one more time and the game was over.

“There! It’s over! Who was that!?” she asked, pointing at the door.

I blinked and clicked the button on my headset. “Yeah, no, that wasn’t me. Look, I’m gonna have to talk to you later. I, uh… Yeah. Yeah. Alright, bye.” I took the headset off and finally focused my attention on the little pegasus. “So… can you teach me how to do that?”

She looked like she wanted to tear her mane out. “Yes! Fine! Whatever it takes, just tell me what is going on!”

I made an approving frown and passed her my controller and took my brother’s out of a drawer just under the TV.

“Okay, cool. So, that was Celestia. No idea where she came from, what she is, or how she does half the things she does, but she has a flying motorcycle and deals ponies killing blows with her bass that don’t actually kill anypony. We should be dead based on the force she puts into that thing, but, so far, there aren’t any ‘victims’ of her hit and runs, just yet. You’re just one of many ponies she has bashed in the head with that guitar, and nopony knows why she does it. I’m pretty sure she’s manipulating my dad and that’s why he lets her stay here, but otherwise? No idea.

“She somehow found out your dad’s phone number and called him to let him know that you’re staying here for the night because you got into an accident at school ‘or something.’ Her words, not mine. I guess he bought that, so here we are. Your uniform is in the dryer and should be done any minute now, and Bramos should be working on dinner, so that’ll be ready soon. I mean this literally when I say he looks like a mannequin, so don’t freak out when you see him. He’s very sensitive.”

She shook her head and blinked.

“What?”

“Yeah, me too. So, about the game…”

She shook her head again and put her hooves over her ears. “No, no, no. None of this makes any sense!”

I rolled my eyes.

“Welcome to my life, kiddo.”

“You girls seem to be getting along. Oh, I’m sorry, I never properly introduced myself. I’m Nightlight Sparkle.” Dad held out a hoof over the table.

I was about halfway done with the carbonara Bramos made. Dad was making small talk between sharing noodles with Celestia.

“I, uh… I’m Rainbow Dash. N-nice to meet you?” She shook his hoof hesitantly while Celestia fed him some more food. Twice already, she’d sucked a noodle out of his mouth and dove in tongue first. I was never sure whether that was more disgusting or impressive. On the disgusting side, she’s doing naughty things to Dad in front of me at the table... Again. However, on the impressive side, the noodle never broke which must take some kind of insane control over how she was doing it. Dash was having trouble adjusting, but nopony could ever truly adjust to Celestia.

“I hear you’re pretty good. Twilight says that thing you do with your hooves is amazing♥” I rolled my eyes and picked up another fork full of spaghetti.

“I, uh… What?” Dash looked to me for help, but I shook my head.

“Nope, that’s just how she talks.” Celestia was sitting in Dad’s chair, and she was the one cradling Dad in her massive hooves like some kinda foal while they did… whatever it was they were doing. Finally coming to terms with the insanity that is my life, Dash just started eating and ignoring.

“Wow, this is really good. So, are you like, a chef, or something?” she asked Bramos.

I swallowed and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Yeah, he doesn’t talk. He accepts commands and will do things you ask of him to the best of his ability, but fatty says he’s not all there.” The matte white pony wiggled in his chair and circled the tips of his forehooves around each other. He’s cold to the touch, but somehow, I think he was blushing.

“Again with the insults. I don’t make fun of you. Do you hate me Twilight?” Ugh, she’s making that face again.

“I don’t even know how to describe how I feel about you. So, for now, I’ll just keep calling you fatty until I figure it out.” Her face sank and she looked like she was about to cry. She popped from her place in the chair to in front of the staircase, letting Dad fall on his back.

“Oww.”

“You’re so mean to me! I’m going up to my room!” She ran up the stairs, accompanied by the heavy thump of hooves too big for the steps, before slamming a door behind her.

“Hey man, don’t you think that was a little far?”

I turned and gave my house guest a death stare. “Don’t you take her side! She does that with him in front of me. Every! Single! Night! He always says, ‘Oh, Celestia, not in front of Twilight♥’ and then gets into a tongue twister with her, while she stares at me! Do you know how hard that is to ignore!? And him! He’s just pathetic. He never fights back! He always does what she says, and even when he pretends to care, he lets her do whatever anyways because he’s coiled around her huge hooves like a snake!” I pouted and stared Dad down as he rose from his back to sitting properly.

Oddly enough, he finally shaved, which is nice, but everything else that’s changed, I don’t like. The old stallion scratched at the back of his head.

“What can I say? She’s a mare who’s hard to deny. I will say that she was never this aggressive all those years ago, though. I suppose even she gets lonely sometimes…”

I groaned and rolled my eyes. Stop making sense.

“That doesn’t mean you have to bend over for her every second of the day…”

Dad shrugged and picked up a fork full of spaghetti. “Sometimes love requires sacrifices. You do something for somepony that you wouldn’t normally do, even though it doesn’t benefit you. To commit an act out of love is to show faith that you believe, they too, would come back and show that same love to you, someday. When it comes down to it, that’s what life is about… But, with as smart as you are, I’m sure you’ll understand that, one day.” He swallowed the last of the food on his plate, then took his dishes to the sink.

“I’ve still got some work to finish up before I can send this off to my editor. Don’t be so hard on Celestia, okay? Everypony has their problems, but not everypony is willing to tell you about them. Anyways, goodnight girls.” Dad went back upstairs. I pushed my plate away and laid my head on the table.

“Why am I getting lectured? She’s the one who came in and disrupted my life.”

Dash patted my back. “Yeah… I think I can see why you complain. That’s rough buddy.”

“So, you press up, or the jump button, after you hit the heavy, to cancel out of the recovery animation, to start another combo. You can get something like fifty, sixty percent damage on somepony before you have to drop, and as long as you catch them before the tech window, you can use the air special to kill right then and there,” she explained.

“Oh, so that’s how you did it! I saw that and even Pinkie was confused. We never knew that was even possible.” She was really good at this game. We only ever played with my brother back when he was home, since Pinkie’s sisters were never interested in video games, but Dash had played online and in tournaments before, so she knew a lot about it.

“Yeah, you make the transition from casual to competitive by learning about the deeper mechanics of a game like this, then you begin to see just how things can be done or abused. You learn a lot from online communities. Almost every game with a competitive element has something like that, as long as there’s a skill threshold to it.”

We started doing mock fights after dinner, and she explained just about everything there was to know about this game to me. It was a lot to process, but after a while, I figured it out.

“So… where did you learn all this? I find that most fillies don’t play video games, they just spend all their time on their phones these days.” I was one of the exceptions. Even after Shining left, Pinkie and I continued to play games like this whenever she would come over. Of course, she has her own Click now, so she doesn’t have to be here for us to play together, but I still play games even when I’m alone. Rarity, of course, always says we’re the weird ones for not acting more like normal fillies, but maybe it’s her and not us? Dash scratched at her head.

“My dad is kinda awkward, so this was how he always spent time with me. The better I got, the more he taught me, and eventually it got to the point where I could beat the older ponies in games like this.”

Huh. With as confrontational as she is, it’s a wonder that her dad acts like that.

“So, what does your mom do?” At that, she got up in my face again.

“I don’t know, what does your mom do!?” I backed off and threw up my hooves.

“Woah! Geez, I was just asking a question, chill out.” I leaned in and whispered, “Don’t forget, she brings the Harley in the house. She could show up anywhere, any second, with that thing in her hooves.”

Dash froze up and sank back down. We returned to playing in silence, with Dash constantly checking over her shoulder and her ears going wild, looking for the slightest hint of an engine sound anywhere. It wasn’t until I finally started taking some of her lives that she started talking again.

“He was reassigned here a week ago. One of the tests he was supposed to be over… ended in disaster and… and we needed to leave the Cloudsdale base, but couldn’t for the longest time. He was glad that it was someplace far away from there and he didn’t have so much on his plate anymore. He was always interested in space and wanted to fly among the stars, so when the Queen started asking around for engineers, he was the first to sign up. It was good, for a while, like that. His new position brought in a lot of money, but because he was so busy now, we started spending time without him working on me. I showed promise in the same field, so they started entering me in races and training me. I was good at it, but… but then I couldn’t race anymore.

“Dad and I… we didn’t know how to talk to each other. I would… get mad, and let out all that pent-up anger on unsuspecting ponies like you, and get suspended. Then he would finally get off work and… we would just sit in silence. It was when I went too far in a fight one time, and really did break somepony’s legs, that I was permanently expelled from Cloudsdale Elementary. I had nowhere to be, and none of the private schools would take me, so I just stayed home. He took a few days off, for once in his life, and he brought home the last generation console and a new version of a game he played when he was my age.

“Have you ever gotten out of the shower before, and tried to look in the mirror, but it was all covered in fog? Well, that game, for us, was like wiping all that fog away. I could finally see the pony in the mirror, and we started talking for the first time in almost three years.

“He said that it was his fault. I always blamed him for it, but he would never talk to me about it, so I never got any relief from my anger. It was a flaw in the design that nopony ever realized was there… except him. He saw it way late in the process, but the craft was already half built and he never brought it up. Even when he found out who the test pilot was going to be, he never said anything. He thought that maybe it wasn’t really there, since nopony ever acknowledged it, and he was just being critical of his own design. When the engine started to malfunction, he knew the truth, though.

“He was stuck and never recovered from the guilt. It was all his fault, he had the chance to stop it, but he didn’t. A case of negligence that nopony would ever know about because, even after everypony else discovered the flaw in the design, it was too late. The next ship was already in production, and all the engineers had to get back to work. No time to stop and reflect, the queen wanted the job done as soon as possible. A working vessel had to be completed in the next five years, period.

“It was a little bit of a miracle that we even moved out here. He never believed that they would let him off the project, even though he tried desperately to get out of it for almost four years straight. Lo and behold, he gets a letter out of the blue saying that he was to be relocated to the Underhoof air base immediately, far and away from Cloudsdale and the Queen. It had the royal seal and everything.

“I’m… sorry I went off on you earlier. Being back in school after all this time brought up some old feelings and I just… I don’t know. I thought I could come in and show off, but being laughed at was the last thing I expected. Ponies respect you when you prove yourself, so I thought that maybe fighting somepony would get me that. You looked like an easy target, so I kinda went after you because of it.”

I was about to respond, but she beat me to it.

“Well, the important thing is that you’ve learned from your mistakes. Not everypony has the heart to admit their own flaws. You would not believe the fights I got into back when I was younger. Whew. There are places that don’t exist anymore because I got mad. Of course, nothing was worse than when my sister and I got in a fight over a boy. Take notes kids, don’t fight over stallions. That will destroy lives. Nopony wins in that situation.”

I don’t know how or when she did it, but somehow she snuck in and sat down next to Dash without either of us noticing. I didn’t react because I’m just used to it now, but Dash reacted appropriately.

“Holy shit!” she exclaimed as she backed away and into me, shaking in fear of the giant, wet, white unicorn. I was quick to push her off and groaned at Celestia.

“Oh, hey, nice of you to drop by. Can you leave now? We’re trying to play a game here.”

Celestia rolled her eyes and popped a set of Click Joy-pros out of nothing in her magic. Since we hadn’t actually been playing, she joined the game, without pause, and turned it to a team battle.

“How about this? If you two can beat me, I will leave. It’s eight, now, so I’ll give you two hours and unlimited matches. If you can’t, then you have to snuggle with me tonight♥” I snorted and laughed.

“Snrk, ha! That’s a one-sided deal if I’ve ever heard one. You’re on!”

Rainbow looked from me to her and back.

“Uh… Twi, are you sure about that?”

I reared back. “Are you kidding me? There’s no way this old mare is gonna even last a match with somepony like you playing.” The little blue pegasus was apprehensive, and I couldn’t understand why. This was a chance to get this crazy old lady out of my mane for a night, and I wasn’t about to let it slip.

“I, uh... I mean, alright, man.” Celestia put her character on random, I picked my best, and Rainbow picked hers. There was absolutely no way we were gonna lose.

It was probably when she picked random that I should’ve known something was up… Or maybe when she smiled like she did… Or when she pulled out a document to have me sign. That should’ve been the biggest flag, but I’m a fucking moron and was too excited at the idea of beating her to take a hint. How could I have known she was better than Dash? How could I have known she was better than both of us combined? How could I have known that, over forty matches, and two hours later, we would’ve collectively taken three lives off her?

I couldn’t have. I was played, I was upset, I was angry, and I slept the best I’d ever slept in my life, and I hated that even more than anything else. And I will get the same sleep, for the next week, because I signed a contract that I didn’t bother to read. She warned me. She knew something was fishy, but I still took the bait. I am the dumb bass.

Dash’s dad showed up to pick her up the next day and thanked us for taking care of her after her ‘accident or something’ the other day. The magical contract I signed also prevented me from explaining what the accident was, or who caused it. So, if nothing else can be said about her, she is very thorough. Just another thing to add to the list of ‘who in the world are you’ questions for Celestia that grows every day.

Surprisingly enough, her dad looks almost nothing like her, but it’s very clear that she gets her mane and tail from him. She has different eyes, a different snout, a different coat, and even a more delicate body type than him. It’s almost a wonder that they’re related at all. Of course, more than two distinct mane colors is pretty rare in and of itself in ponies, so for them to both have six is about as dead a giveaway as it gets.

She ended up getting demoted to Pinkie’s class shortly after taking the first-time exam, which really wasn’t all that much of a surprise since she hadn’t been in school for over a year, but a little saddening to see her go. A lot of ponies here are pretty quiet, we mostly keep to ourselves, but she was just about the opposite of that. A little extra color in the world of this boring old town. Things went back to normal after the first few days, but as always, nothing stays that way long with Celestia looming around.

My alarm started to go off, but I was still tired and didn’t want to get up just yet. I wrapped myself around my pillow a little tighter and buried my head in it. Soft, warm, and so comfortable under my blankets. I never wanted to leave it. Of course, then I noticed the pillow’s breathing, and that was when the glass was broken. Disgusted with myself, I fought my way out of the pillow’s grip and turned off my alarm to take my shower.

When I came back to get dressed, I saw the strangest thing in my bed. She’d already left and taken up drinking in front of the TV, as she does every morning, but, in her place was a singular, massive, white feather. I picked it up to study it and it was almost like a fan. It was drenched in all sorts of magic I couldn’t decipher just by feeling, and when I did try to analyze the spells on it, I couldn’t even begin to understand how any of the magic worked. It was almost ancient and all of it foreign to me.

“Where in the world did this come from?”

“Oh, Twilight! Breakfast is ready!” Celestia called from the ground floor. I groaned at the thought of her cooking again. Last time, she literally left a plastic fork in the food that she had used to taste it.

Who taught you how to do this? Or better yet, who didn’t teach you? Ugh.

To my surprise, though, she’d actually made some decent pancakes this time and I didn’t want to gag at the sight of them. I asked her about the feather, but she denied it existed, and when I went to grab it again, it wasn’t there. She’s always wearing some clothes or other to cover her back, so maybe she’s just been hiding wings all this time? But again, when I managed to flip the back of dad’s robe up using Pinkie’s skirt technique, all I got for my efforts was a face full of tail and a gigantic mare butt crushing me. No wings underneath, just giant, white pony back.

“Well, somepony certainly seems frisky today. Normally one asks before they go touching cutiemarks♥”

You damn pervert.

The rest of my day went as usual, though Pinkie was a lot less aggressive this morning since she was still trying to master some combo I passed her via Dash. Doesn’t mean she didn’t still catch me off guard once, she just only made one attempt.

Class itself was boring. Rarity had nothing new to add, Trixie was insufferable as ever, the gardening girl was silent, and Mrs. Rich spent more of class talking about her daughter than the subject at hoof. With the way we’re taught, you would think that the other class was the advanced one.

In a strange sense of déjà vu, the three of us were walking out of the school, and not but a few minutes later, I heard Dash yelling at somepony. I held my hoof up to my ear and checked the sky and nearby fog for movement, but there was nothing, yet.

“Hey! Why don’t you pick on somepony your own size!” she yelled.

“What is this, a rerun?” We turned around to see Trixie talking to the gardening girl, who was pinned against a wall, with Dash stomping her way over to them.

“Interesting choice of words for a half pint. Now why don’t you go away? The adults are talking.” Even the way she talks can just get under your skin, but, I have to agree with her here. Between the three of them, Trixie was in the middle as far as height goes. The gardening girl, while quiet and shy, was, literally, almost taller than Mrs. Rich.

“Yeah, well, whatever! That doesn’t give you license to pressure her into doing something she doesn’t want to!” Trixie smirked and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, is that so? Did you really not want to help me out this weekend, Fluttershy?” The tall pegasus focused her eyes on the sidewalk and played with her mane. She was significantly bigger than Trixie, standing on their hind legs like that, but she wasn’t much more than skin and bones, as far as I could tell.

“W-well, I don’t… I um…” She pulled a few hairs out of her pale pink mane, then dropped her hooves and sighed. “No…” Trixie raised her snout and smiled.

“See? Nothing wrong here, so you can just move along.”

Now Dash was up on her hind legs and she pushed Trixie away from the tall girl.

Since when can all these ponies stand up like that? It always hurts when I try to do it.

“She clearly doesn’t want to do whatever it is you’re pressuring her into doing. Why don’t you move along?”

“Isn’t tall chick in our class?” I whispered to Rarity.

“As far as I know. Trixie usually makes her do all of her class chores whenever she’s called on to stay after school. I’ve never seen her with anypony else, though.”

“So, is she just… being confrontational to be confrontational, or is she standing up for the ironically not-so-little guy, here?”

“Beats me. My mother is here, so I have to go, but keep an eye on them. I don’t like this.”

Rarity exited stage right, and Trixie, finally registering the defiance, just about blew up on Dash.

“Excuse me, nopony asked for your little, idiot, feather-brained insolence to butt in on my affairs! You think that, just because you won some contest when you were little, that makes you hot shit? You’re nothing. You’re not even worth the time and air I’m wasting on you right now! I know all about you, you little juvenile delinquent! My father is part of city council in this town, I can make everything about you and your family public in an instant. I can have you ostracized in a second! All I have to do is, accidentally, drop your criminal record on the floor, one day, and everypony will know that you spent a year in juvie and that your father was the reason-”

Dash punched Trixie in the nose, mid-sentence. I could’ve predicted this would happen, but… I still wanted to see it. I, personally, don’t care for Trixie very much, but she has the highest magic aptitude in school right now, so I’m just smarter than her. I noticed a tooth go flying as Trixie fell to the ground and wasn’t sure if I was feeling proud of Dash, or happy that I got to see it happen. Probably both.

“How about you keep your fucking mouth shut, you dumb bitch. I can’t stand little princesses like you, and I hate bullies even more. So, congrats, you’re the best of both worlds. If you know that I was sent to juvie, then you should know why I got sent there to begin with. It’s because I broke the legs of some other bitch, just like you. Come on, uh… yellow kid, let’s go home.” Dash took yellow kid by the hoof and lead her away from Trixie and started walking toward us.

“So, did you learn that combo?” she asked Pinkie.

Pinkie blinked. “Uh. Are we just gonna ignore that you just punched the mayor’s daughter in the face? Also, no, I haven’t got the hang of it yet. It’s kinda hard.”

I shrugged. “You just need live practice with it. I think it’s easier to pull when you’re dealing with a pony. You usually get me with your baits, so I think you can make up for the execution barrier by tricking somepony into falling into the next step.”

I was about to ask this other filly a question, but then I remembered that I don’t know her name. “I’m sorry, what was your name again?” I noticed that she had blue-green eyes, now, and that she was absurdly tall for a 7th grader. She looks like she might even be taller than the high-school-age kids.

“O-oh. I um… I’m-”

“Rainbow Dash! I’ll kill you!”

Trixie had gotten up. Her mouth was bleeding where the tooth had fallen out along with her lip being split from the punch. Her horn was glowing. There was a ring of magic around Rainbow’s neck, and I just got the strangest inclination that things were about to go very wrong, very fast.

“Oh fu-” She didn’t even get the chance to finish that. Her body was yanked back to Trixie by the neck, and then the unicorn punched her square in the face. Once, twice, thrice, four times.

“You think your little feather-brain could ever compare to a unicorn of my stature!? Nopony is even going to care when they never find your body! Die, Die, Die, DIE!”

Dash was already out cold and now Trixie was slamming her head into the wall. I tried my hardest to cancel her magic out, but I just didn’t have the power.

“Stop it, you’re gonna kill her!” She turned on me and used her magic to throw me into the school’s brick wall.

“That’s the fucking plan, jackass!”

I remember hearing a scream when my head hit the wall. I think it was the yellow girl’s voice, but Dash was in bad shape, and I think the side of her head was bleeding. My head hurt and the blow must’ve knocked my brain loose, or something, because my vision was distorted and I was struggling with my balance. Everything was throbbing, and it felt like it was all traveling toward my horn.

“Ah…! Aah…! It’s… it’s coming!”

Everypony else had paused what they were doing to watch me, and out from my head, the darkness exploded. A cloud of black fog accompanied by a burning, throbbing, stabbing pain coming from my horn poured onto the ground. A big, misshapen hoof pushed off my face and kicked me away. I rolled back and was caught by Pinkie, thankfully, but I don’t think what I saw was an improvement. A big, black, shadowy beast was standing over Trixie, drooling black ink on the ground.

This one was bigger than the last one and had a lot more features, the most notable one being its eyes. Bright pink-red lights that gleamed with hunger at the blue filly. The big, black, horse-like creature opened a mouth full of dark, dripping daggers and moved after Trixie. Instead of doing the smart thing, running away, the blue unicorn fell to her knees and pissed herself.

Goddess damn it. Struggling through the pain, I managed to pick up a loose brick with my magic and launch it at the monster’s face. Its mouth closed, without consuming Trixie, and then turned to face me.

“Well, that was a mistake,” I said, immediately afterward.

“Oh, ya think?” Pinkie responded in kind. The monster roared and charged at us, prompting Pinkie to grab me and run with everything she had. The stomping beast came at us even faster than the last one, thanks to having all of its legs, this time around. My balance was still off and my head wasn’t quite right, just yet, so I tightened my grip around her neck and prayed to hear it again. The monster snapped at my tail and Pinkie yelped at the noise. We’d run halfway down the school driveway, and just as it looked like it was going to catch us, I heard it.

CRAZY SUNSHINE! Shine on the future of our sad group!

Everypony turned to look to the school's right, again. Just like the other day, the giant Harley came flying out of the fog, this time even higher in the sky, the white mare smiling on the handlebars and the plastic stallion wielding the bass.

“What did I tell you!? Don’t you know that I hate repeating myself!? Little fillies shouldn’t be fighting!”

The engine revved higher and the back tire spun faster. The bike was flying in an arc that looked like it would land on us, but, just as the wheel came down, we were out and the monster was in. The bike brought the shadow’s head to the ground with a loud bang and the big tire whirled, digging into the monster’s face, melting part of it away into black smoke before it finally caught grip and shot the white ponies off and away. Celestia slid the bike around and took her bass from Bramos. She surveyed the area and frowned once she spotted the yellow kid tending to a bloody Dash.

“Well, geez, it looks like I was late this time.”

Finally snapping out of the trance, Trixie screamed and ran away. Celestia took her eyes off the Shadow Beast for a second, allowing it to get back up and buck her the moment she looked back. She dropped the bass as she flew out into the wetlands by the baseball field. Bramos went in after it, but this one was significantly faster than the last one. Every punch he got in was met with a near missed chomp from the beast.

My head was finally sorted out and back together just in time to see a few seconds into the future. Bramos had taken a swing at the monster, but it’d caught on to his pattern of attack. The endless knives inside the beast’s mouth showed themselves, and Bramos’ foreleg was out in the open. I got up and ran after the green electric guitar on the ground, managing to grab it just in time to watch the monster rip the white pony’s leg off. It cracked like plastic between the shadowy teeth, and the beast bucked Bramos away.

Some feeling bubbled up inside me that made me tighten my grip around the neck of the guitar and charge after monster.

“Leave him alone!” I took the heavy bass in both hooves and stopped just short of the monster’s half melted face, just in time for it to watch the guitar slam into its remaining eye.

Twang!

The chord was dissonant at first, but started to change pitch over the second it lasted. Of course, I don’t believe I was thinking at all in that moment, otherwise, I might’ve realized that Celestia was a lot bigger than me. The bass was really heavy, and I’d barely managed to pick it up in the first place. I shouldn’t have been surprised when I didn’t do a whole lot of damage after I hit the thing. I was though.

“Twilight, get away!” I heard Celestia scream. Had I the time, I might’ve even thought about how it sounded, but at the moment, I was beginning to understand why Trixie peed herself. The teeth were dripping black liquid and, up close, the monster’s face was a thing of nightmares. I was struck by fear and my body wouldn’t move. The monster furiously kicked the guitar out of my hooves, then head-butted me into the air.

In my spiraling flight away, it felt like time had slowed. I could see everything and feel nothing. My body was numb, but my eyes worked at hyper speed. Celestia had picked herself out of the mud and was racing toward me. The monster, now rid of me, had turned on the yellow kid and Dash. The bandages the yellow kid used on Dash’s head were dark red and just shy of dripping blood. Pinkie was racing toward me, maybe even calling out my name, based on the way her mouth was moving. The concrete was coming closer, faster and faster.

Neither Celestia, nor Pinkie, would reach me in time like this. Just before I hit the ground, I saw a bright flash of gold out of the corner of my eyes. Somepony had grabbed me and took the brunt of my fall. Feeling returned, and with my whole body throbbing in pain, I managed to see the faceless face of my savior before I passed out.

Pinkie

Oh goddess, she’s okay. I… I don’t know what I would do if I lost her too. The matte white pony caught her and slid across the concrete. It looked like everything was going to hell in a hoofbasket faster than anypony could imagine. Why does this keep happening? It was just minutes ago that it seemed normal today.

The monster roared at the blue and yellow fillies. The Motor Mare picked her bass back up. She charged after the shadowy thing, now completely covered in mud, and her whole biker outfit dripping wet.

I finally managed to make it to Twilight, and she didn’t look good. There was already a big bruise spreading across her cheek, and she was sweating and breathing really hard. The plastic pony was holding her, but he looked in just as bad shape as her, with the monster having bitten off one of his forelegs. I didn’t know what to do, and it didn’t look like the fight was going well for the Motor Mare, either.

Like a raging bull, the black beast stomped and bit at her while she defended and parried with her guitar. Chord after chord rang out with each clash, but, just like when the white pony was fighting it, it eventually recognized her pattern, and it was pretty obvious what would happen next.

The Motor Mare missed a swing that the beast predicted. She was completely open. The beast reared its head back and opened its massive jaws, the dark dripping daggers that lined the inside leaked black ink onto the concrete.

Oh goddess, it’s gonna kill her!

In that moment, a blinding violet light started to shine right beside me. Everything stopped in an instant and, the weirdest thing happened. The white pony opened a mouth it didn’t have before and swallowed Twilight whole. I think my mouth would’ve dropped open, but I didn’t even have the time to react. From its back sprouted purple wings and its whole body turned to Twilight’s colors, then its foreleg flowed out from the broken plastic in the same fluid change of color. On its face, where there was nothing before, shined lights in the shape of open eyes, and then a mark appeared. A pink, six-pointed star with five more six-pointed stars in white rose to the surface of the purple body, like ice in water.

A horn grew out of the pony’s head, and with a flap of its massive, violet wings, it took to the air. A blinding, violet laser shot at the monster, making it spiral away from Celestia and screech out in pain. The Motor Mare’s face turned into that wild smile of hers and she pumped a hoof and shouted,

“Hell yeah, that’s a home run! Let’s go, Twibra!”

She started to run toward me and the purple alicorn flew high into the air. I realized, all too late, what was about to happen. The giant white mare launched herself off my face and the violet pony caught her and spun her around faster, and faster. In that strange second of them spinning in the air, under the evening sunset, I couldn’t help but think, Wow.

The purple alicorn let go of the giant white mare and she shot after the black monster just as it was starting to get back up. Brandishing her green bass, the Motor Mare twisted her body around and brought the bass up for the killing blow.

“Back to hell, from whence you came!”

TWANG!

Almost like the beginning of a song that you always love to hear, a chord rang out in a beautiful harmonic tone like nothing I’d ever heard. The monster screeched one final pathetic song and faded away in black smoke. The white unicorn wiped some of the thin mud off her brow and slid the bass around her back.

“Whew. Talk about sketchy. I must be rusty, these things didn’t used to be so hard to kill.” The purple alicorn sank down to the ground elegantly and folded its wings back just before it landed next to the Motor Mare. It raised a hoof, and he and she high hoofed each other in triumph.

“It won’t be long now, my love…” she said, staring up at the sky. She scanned the area again and finally took notice of the yellow kid crying over the blue one. The bandages had been saturated an even darker red, and it didn’t look like the blue kid was breathing anymore.

“Oh. Well, we can’t have that, now can we?” She and the violet alicorn lit their horns up, and slowly but surely, the red started to disappear from the bandages. Once the rise and fall of the little blue pegasus’ chest restarted, the magic stopped. The violet alicorn seemed to lose his balance, and even the Motor Mare looked exhausted. Suddenly, the violet alicorn blinked from violet, to white, and back as he put his hind knees together. The big white unicorn raised an eyebrow and then nodded.

“Oh, already? Well, I think they have automatic locks on the school doors after hours, so you’re just going to have to find a bush or something.”

The alicorn spotted a tree just over by the sidewalk and ran behind it. Accompanied by a sickly sound, the color drained from the plastic pony. The white mare moved over there and picked up a slimy Twilight from the ground like she was some kinda dead fish.

“Yuck. She smells awful.” The Motor Mare whistled, and then her bike came driving over on its own. She loaded Twilight in one of her saddle bags and drove over to pick up the blue and yellow kids. She put them in front of her, then grabbed me and threw me behind her back. The plastic pony jumped up and stood above the back tire, holding onto the seat, like some kind of ship captain.

“I hate doing that. It always leaves me drained. Now I have to go drop off foals, like some kind of bus driver. Oh well, I suppose a day with a hangover is better than trying to find a new note again. Let’s go home kids.”

I’m not even sure I remember much of the ride home. I was too busy trying to figure out what in the world just happened. Every time this mare shows up, something is either going horribly wrong, or something goes horribly wrong. What is she after? Why is she here? Who is she waiting for? I never found an answer. Twilight smelled really bad and it took everything I had not to gag and keep thinking. By the time she dropped me off, my mood had started to fall. The gray doors of the estate waited for me, and I wanted nothing to do with it. Even if monsters waited out in the world for me, anything was better than being here.

Canterlot Bambi

Author's Note

Canterlot Bambi

Rarity

Another uneventful day. You would think with all the crazy things I’ve heard about lately, today would have something happen, but yet again, nothing happens. Oh well. At least she bothered to pick me up from school today. I opened the black imported sports car’s passenger door and mother shifted into first gear.

“How did your day go, honey?” Chipper as usual.

“It’s whatever. Just another day at school, I suppose.”

“Oh, I see…”

Somewhere in her mid-thirties, Pearl Treasure, formerly Pearl Belle, was a very busy mare. As far as I knew, anyways. Supposedly, we get our manes from her, but other than that, Sweetie and I mostly resemble our father.

We turned on to the main road and, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a violet flash come from behind us. I turned to get a better look, but we’d moved too far to have a clear view of the school anymore, against the window.

Something did happen! I always miss the interesting things.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so busy with work lately, honey, I’ve just been pulling my mane out over this new assignment. I swear, I’ve talked to half the ponies in town trying to gather information, but nopony seems to know anything useful.” She shifted into fourth, now that we were a little past the commercial area. On hoof, it takes me maybe a half hour to get home. In the car, it takes minutes.

“It’s whatever, though. I know your job is important.” To somepony I guess.

She patted my mane while I texted Twilight. I swear, if she musses it up again…!

“Goodness, you are just so mature for your age. If only your father was as understanding as you are.”

Yeah, if only.

“It’s whatever. Not everypony can understand a mare.” Especially me. She pulled into our driveway after the wrought iron gate slid by at the press of a button. Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, two inhabitants. One, really.

“Ah, that’s my little girl! I can always count on you. Well, I’m afraid I still have some work to attend to, so I’ve hired somepony to take you to the airport. I promise I’ll be there to pick you up, though.”

I sighed and picked my backpack off the floor boards. I don’t even know why I bother bringing it, these days. All I ever need is my phone and a pencil, it’s not as if I’ve had a lunch to bring for a few years now.

“It’s whatever. Technology is so convenient these days…” Of course you would push me off onto somepony else.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

I never ended up getting a response from Twilight. The hours ticked away at home and none of my contacts ever told me what happened. Applejack didn’t know anything, Trixie never replied, and Twilight was out, so that was it. I almost wish I’d cared enough to get Pinkie’s number, I bet she’d respond. Maybe. I don’t even know if she likes me. Or anypony aside from Twilight, for that matter. It would certainly help if Rainbow had a phone but, apparently, her father is just as good at keeping promises as my mother is.

Another uneventful day. Maybe tomorrow will be different. I’ll have Father and Sweetie to talk to, and we’re going to be in Canterlot! The Equestrian capital city, the home of high society, site of the Queen’s castle! Ooh, I can’t wait to go back! Two days, free of… this. The mundane. The unsocial. The… I shook my head and restarted work on my half-sewn tie.

The hollow sound of the TV droned on in the background, giving some life to this large, empty home for one. The silence was almost noisier than the noise. Stitch, loop, pull, stitch, loop, pull, stitch, loop, pull. Another hoofball to the pattern.

Normally, a cutiemark like his leads to a successful career as a hoofball star, but no, he’s just a college coach. Oh well, it could be worse. He could be just as well off as she is and I could be taking care of Sweetie… though, maybe it would’ve been better that way. If that were the case, then I wouldn’t be…

The doorbell rang through the house. Must be my ride.

I put the needle through my next stitch and shuffled the tie into my bag. The nearest civilian airport is all the way in Stampede City, almost two hours away from here. I’ll have plenty of time to finish this on the way there, or maybe on the four hour plane ride, if it takes me that long.

I wonder what he’ll say when he sees it?

I opened the door and nearly had a heart attack. There she was, the giant white mare with the bass on her back, her biker outfit, and her mass of fabulous mane spilling out of that half helmet of hers.

I suppose Twilight being all riled up the other day made me panic, but now that I was standing in front of her, I’m not entirely sure why I was afraid in the first place. She’s never really hurt anypony. Probably. And she is quite a sight to look at. In an odd way, looking at her face reminded me of Twilight, but I couldn’t think of why. She’s far prettier than Twilight to be sure, but there was something there all the same…

“Oh… it’s you,” found its way out of my mouth after we stared at each other for a long time. Her clothes looked hoofmade, which only made this mare even more of a mystery. Leather like that is very difficult to sew, and it usually takes talent to do it. Where did she get them? The stitching is unlike anything in my fashion magazines, yet these look almost decades old.

“Gotta make some extra cash somehow, huh, kid? Turns out that the big boss isn’t quite so great at handling money. Everything I had stored away isn’t worth as much as it was twenty years ago. You ready to go?” The Motor Mare passed me a helmet in her gold magic and I simply resigned myself to it.

“It’s whatever. Everypony has to make money somehow.”

She ruffled my mane with her massive hoof. “Attagirl. If you have one, you might want to put a jacket on. Mine’s an old bike, it doesn’t really have much in the way of a heater or anything like that. It’s gonna get cold after the sun goes down.”

We didn’t speak much. We’d left at just about sundown, and she was right, it was cold. Luckily, I had a windbreaker, and she gave me her scarf after she felt me shivering. I wasn’t sure what to make of this mare. She actually dropped out of nowhere and hit me in the face with that guitar of hers only a few weeks ago, but I suppose she never really harmed me. There wasn’t even a bruise when I checked, so sometimes I wonder if it really happened or not. Of course, Rainbow would’ve drowned after she got hit had we not ran to save her. Why did she do it? I never found an answer.

All around us were flat lands covered in waves of gold that expanded on endlessly in the twilight darkness. The moon beginning to shine above us was reflected just enough to see color in the black. When there wasn’t wheat, there was corn, and when there wasn’t corn, there was a patch of oil derricks. Almost like plants themselves, spinning in their slow, methodical way, like waving grass, pumping quietly at the earth.

Cell towers and power lines formed W-shapes along the solitary double-lane interstate highway that gave Underhoof its raison d’être. Were we traveling the other way, we’d make it to Canterlot in a few days if we just kept going straight. It’s only on drives like this that really show a pony how vast Equestria really is. In the fog-ringed town of Underhoof, it’s easy to forget that there’s a whole wide world outside.

“All this land, and she wants to move into space. You don’t have an overpopulation problem, you have a ‘ponies flocking to jobs’ problem. Get your media to promote the farm life instead of training everypony for white collar jobs. That is what will fix your problem, dear sister.”

This wasn’t the first time she’d mumbled something like that during our trip. Politics seemed to be the most common topic, though who it was directed at I couldn’t say. Usually these criticisms are about her ‘sister,’ who is somepony in the higher ups of the government, as far as I can tell. She also once mentioned something about finishing ‘the chord’ and gathering the ‘sounds’ from her ‘notes.’ You would think she would be in a band or something with that bass she beats ponies with and from the way she talks, but somehow, I just can’t think any of this relates to music.

Overall, it was a boring ride, but it was also… relaxing. Even at eighty miles per hour, this bike was so large that I never really got hit too hard by the cold October winds, and the Motor Mare sat in such a relaxed position that I didn’t have too much trouble seeing all around us.

The night was beautiful. The violet sky, the bright stars, the glowing clouds of pink, blue, and red, the bright moon offsetting it all. It was usually clear in Underhoof, but it wasn’t often that I spent my nights outside. The fog is always so ever-present around home that I never thought to look up.

“Sometimes, I just… wish they would do this with me.”

Absentmindedly, I must’ve spoken out loud, because the Motor Mare took a hoof off the bike and rested it on my shoulder.

“See, not every parent is going to know what to do when they have their first foal. Or the second. Even the third. By four, they’ve usually got it figured out, but popping those things out hurts like hell and not everypony wants to go through that more than once. It’s a scary thought, before they come. You’re suddenly assaulted by every possible worry in the world, and it gets overwhelming. Attacked by, ‘Can I do this?’ in every way to phrase it imaginable. Even after they come, the question doesn’t leave your mind. Some get too scared, others can’t handle the pressure at all.

“Things happen. You see them grow, then some new scary situation arises, and that question comes back. You’re plagued by it, dreaming of all the things that can go wrong, getting glimpses into situations that can’t happen. It’s terrifying. Taxing on the mind. You lose sight of why you made the kid in the first place, and even after having it, it might not be the most important thing in the world to you, though it should be.

“And forget about it if you’re not in harmony with your partner. A little discord in the everyday life adds up over time. One day, you’ll be trying to play a major and you don’t even know what went wrong when the tritone comes out. Everypony has to deal with pain somehow. It’s just up to who can hide it the best. When you can’t, that’s when things fall apart.”

More music talk. I’m not even sure what she’s saying anymore.

“I’m sorry?”

The Motor Mare patted my head and shook hers.

“You’ll get it later. Just think about it for a little while.”

I finally learned Celestia’s name when she gave me her card in the event I needed a ride after she saw me to my gate. I suppose she got a job driving ponies wherever with that Carriage service that picked up traction in the last few years. So much for ‘don’t talk to strangers’ I guess. I wonder if thirteen is the minimum age for that? Or is there a minimum age? She could’ve kidnapped me and nopony would ever know until father called asking where I was. Oh well. Celestia doesn’t seem like a bad pony, even if she is a strange, cryptic mare.

Thanks to time zones, I left South Dartmoor at eight PM and arrived in Canterlot, the capital city of Canterlot state, at about three AM. Father was half asleep, and Sweetie was asleep, but at least they were there to see me when I landed. He drove us home and then promptly crashed, just after making contact with his bed, and I followed suit. I’d managed to finish the tie, but only after I ruined one of the earlier stitches, when I wasn’t paying attention, and had to redo almost half of it. So much for sleeping on the plane, I guess.

It doesn’t help that I never could unravel Celestia’s advice. Foals and harmony and discord. Cracking up and falling apart. Fear. What was she talking about? I’ve been thinking about it for hours now, and I just never understood what she meant. Ugh, and Twilight has to live with that mare. From the stories I hear about her, it makes me wonder if she’s even sane, maybe those were just the ramblings of a mad mare on a motorcycle.

I think I dreamed that night, but of what, I couldn’t say. Music and hoofballs, and pearls and shadows. There was a hazy quality to it all, like an opaque crystal, or a foggy mirror. When I woke up from the mist, I smelled breakfast in the air and nearly had a heart attack.

Is mother making breakfast!? Is she home? I checked my surroundings to make sure I wasn’t dreaming still, but then I remembered. No… she’s not even here.

I wiped at my eyes and gave the room I landed in another glance over. I think this is my room. Or maybe a guest room. It was unspecifically decorated in a fashion not too dissimilar to how I like my things, but that could simply be a family trait. Father was never as classy as Mother was, but he always tried.

I don’t remember how long ago he’d moved to the capital for his new job, and I’ve only visited a hoofful of times. Possibly three, four months, since I was here last? I stumbled around the unfamiliar home following the smell until I found the dining room. Sweetie had collapsed on the table, the TV had some sports game on, and Father was half watching, half cooking with whatever he was making. He always was the better cook.

“Oh, you’re awake, I was just about to come get you. Hash-browns, and a cheese omelette. There’s jelly in the fridge, along with the milk and juices. Would you rather have your bread fried or toasted?” I had to stop and collect my head. It had been a long time since I was waited on.

“Um… fried, I think. What time is it?” There were windows around, so I could guess it was closer to noon, but I really had no idea. I didn’t think I slept very long, but three hours ahead is three hours ahead. The white unicorn scraped some butter on the slice and threw it in his pan. The sizzle of crisping toast was almost enough to make my mouth water.

“Ten, the park opens at noon, so I wanted to get a head start. How are you feeling?” I’m not sure I heard all of that, the potatoes had called to me.

It was my turn to speak while I had a mouthful. “Oh, I’m fine, I suppose.”

He nodded and smiled. “Good,” he then moved to flick Sweetie’s horn. “Get up and eat. I am not spending money on amusement park food, again.” The filly retracted from the attack and massaged her head.

“Oww… fine…” she groaned. With an unexpected voracity, the little white unicorn attacked her plate, and I suddenly wasn’t so hungry anymore.

“How was the flight? I would’ve asked earlier, but I think we were all lucky to make it home this morning.”

I’ll say. I’m more surprised you didn’t get pulled over, driving like that.

“I think it was fine, from what I remember. I spent all night working on… Oh, that’s right!” I got up to go get the tie from my bag. When I returned and presented it to him, I couldn’t help but get that warm, fuzzy feeling, when I saw his face light up. “I made this for you.”

He took me in his hooves and rustled my mane. “What did I do to deserve that? Thank you, Rarity.” If anypony could see me smiling like an idiot, I might die of embarrassment. But because it’s him, I don’t mind.

“I just don’t understand it. Why can’t she be like that all the time?” A little bubble popped up at the corner of my phone.

“Well, first of all, she’s not him. Second, would ya really be okay with yer mother doin’ somethin’ like that?”

In truth, she always typed and wrote correctly, but reading things in Applejack’s voice created a strange dissonance in my head. I’d gained a sort of ability to morph her text into that southern flavor she has in her speech.

“Of course not, my mother is a mare of high society. On the rare occasion she does take me out with her, we go to dinner parties and fancy gatherings at upscale hotels in the city. You know, Celestia did that to me, too, and I wasn’t mad at her, either.”

I couldn’t believe it. I had so much fun today. We rode everything the park had to offer. He couldn’t keep his promise, and we tried some of the park food, and, though it wasn’t anything special, it was still great for whatever reason. And we played all the games. I even managed to win something in one of those horrid, rigged contests... All the while, I simply couldn’t think of a time I’d been so happy in years. How long has it been since I had a day like that with my father? It’s been years since we were a happy family, if there was ever a time that was true. What happened?

“Then why complain about it? Ya always get mad when Ah mess with yer mane.” I rolled my eyes.

“That’s because you’re a brute.” If I had to guess, she probably reacted in a similar way on the other end.

“Well, fuck you, too. Also, who is Celestia? Is he datin’ somepony or somethin’?” Ah, yes, her name is probably a little known fact.

“Not that I know of. Celestia is the Motor Mare. Mother dumped me on her because she had something more important to do than take me to the airport.” I couldn’t help but puff air out my snout. The little sting of indignation was the least I could do. She’s been more distant in the last few weeks than ever, and it’s starting to get on my nerves. She’s hardly ever home in the first place, the least she could do is drive me herself.

“That crazy unicorn broad?”

“The very one. I suppose she’s hit everypony she wanted to and now works as a taxi service. Talk about a turn of trade.”

“… My bruise still ain’t gone and it’s been a few weeks now. Ah’m surprised ya actually got on that thing with her.”

Why did I get on that motorcycle? I suppose it was the only way here.

“She doesn’t actually seem like a bad pony. As far as I can tell, anyways. Strange, definitely. Not bad though.” I giggled to myself out loud. “In two hours she played a better mother than mine does.”

“Must be nice ta know what that’s like.”

I felt my face deadpan. “Oh, goodness, maybe you’ll know if you go jump off a cliff.”

“Kek. Yeah, maybe. Course, suicide is considered a damnable offense, so probably not. Yer mom can’t be that bad. It’s gotta be better than not havin’ one at all.”

I rolled my eyes. I can’t talk to any of my friends about this, I swear. How is it that, of the three ponies I know, two of them don’t have mothers? Oh well, at least Applejack understands empathy. Trying to talk to Twilight about my problems is about as good as speaking to a brick wall.

“You say that, but it’s almost like I don’t, sometimes. More so lately, than before, but it’s been like this for a long time. Longer than I care to remember. Today was the first time in months that I think I’ve actually enjoyed an adult’s company. He’s so sweet, and he’s even patient with my darling idiot sister. What did he do to deserve my mother? Who cursed him like that?”

She sent over a little frown emoji. “Hmm. Ya think that *maybe* you’re makin’ a self-fulfillin’ prophecy, here?”

I lowered my brows at the screen. Self-fulfilling prophecy? “Alright, miss studious, speak Equestrian, please.”

“Yeah, and they tell me unicorns get higher marks. Some kinda prejudice bullshit against earth ponies, Ah swear. Anyway, look, Ah’m thinkin’ that ya might idolize yer dad and maybe even hate yer mom a little. Everythin’ he does right is more right in yer eyes than anythin’ she does, and anythin’ she does wrong is worse than anythin’ he does. Maybe she deserves it, but don’t ya think you’re bein’ a little biased here?”

I think I felt my eye twitch. “Excuse me, who are you, and what have you done with my country bumpkin?”

“Goddess, Ah wish Ah could reach through the screen and slap ya.”

I stuck my tongue out and sent an according emoji. “Fine, maybe I have a bias, but so what? Sweetie is clearly happier than I ever am.”

“Yer sister is also half yer age. There could be problems ya don’t see in the little time you’re there.”

“Doubtful. Besides, she’s eight. Not half, five years younger. Your sister is the same age, right?”

Applejack visits me more often than I visit her. Any time I go over there, I get drafted into farm work. Her grandfather is a slave driver, I swear.

“She is. Hard ta forget her age, honestly. My point though; do ya really know yer parents?” The phone fell out of my magic for a moment while I contemplated that.

Do I really know my parents? They’re my parents, how could I not know them? … Right? “What do you mean?”

That bubble popped up and it sat on the screen for longer than I’d like. Here comes a lecture on the values of family. Funny, coming from the pony without parents.

“What Ah’m sayin’ is, ya might not really know who you’re talkin’ ta, when ya talk ta ‘em. Yeah, that’s yer mom or dad, but who are they outside of that? Hearin’ all those ponies talk about him at the funeral last year opened my eyes a little bit. Ah never knew my Pa was a bit of a drunk. Ah never knew he was in the military. Ah never knew he had a gamblin’ habit. Ah didn’t know he smoked. Ah never knew he was part of a biker gang, back when he was my brother’s age. He was my Pa, but Ah didn’t know anythin’ about the stallion underneath the surface.

“When we went ta the service, Ah thought it was just gonna be a little gatherin’ fer the Apples, but no, there were hundreds of ponies at that funeral. Ah’d never met half of ‘em, but they all, sure as hell, knew him. Ma’s funeral wasn’t near that size, from what little Ah remember of it. Seein’ all those ponies got me thinkin’, my parents were ponies too. They’d lived lives three times as long as I’ve been around, and Ah really didn’t know anythin’ about ‘em. They were just Ma and Pa before. Ah’m sure if Granny woulda been around at the time, she woulda taught me somethin’ about him too, but Pappy was all we had left. Ah never got the chance ta learn about ‘em from the source, so maybe y’all should try and talk ta yer parents. At least ya still can.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Feeling introspective today, aren’t we? What did you do?”

“Ah might be hidin’ from Pappy at the moment. Applebloom may have had a pear launched at her face, and it may not have been an accident.”

Ah, I see. “Well, even if you did it because you’re in a barrel right now, I still hate you. How dare you make me consider the possibility that there is more to this. Truly, you are the worst kind of pony.”

“Damn it, he’s usin’ Winona ta sniff me out! Look, Ah’ll text ya later, but Ah’ve gotta go. Bye.” I nodded to myself.

“Alright then. Good luck I suppose.”

I set my phone on the end table and laid back on the giant Luna plushie I’d won at the park. It was cheaply made as they all are, but a souvenir I’ll keep to remember today with. More that I don’t know, huh? What do I know about them? They never fought around us. The divorce felt so sudden that I’m not even sure I ever processed what happened. What did happen? Father is a hoofball coach, but… what does mother even do? She clearly makes a hefty bit, but how does she do it? Was that part of the reason? I never see her with another stallion, so… why did they separate? For that matter, how did they meet? I… really don’t know anything about them.

This time, I woke up with a purpose. Today, I was going to get the truth out of him. I’m thirteen, I understand enough, so now to figure out what happened. Where did it go wrong? When did it go wrong? Why did it go wrong? Mostly the last one.

The day went by in a similar fashion to yesterday, but we stayed home instead of going out because there was a sudden turn of rain. He had planned on showing me the castle gardens, but with it raining as hard as it was with no end in sight, we instead spent a comfortable afternoon watching movies. Old animated ones from his childhood, ones that Sweetie liked. He even had my favorite movie that I’d never admit I still like to anypony with ears. It’s a wonder that he remembered all of that. Even that I liked that stupid kids movie in the first place. Was it ever like this before? I could swear I remember watching that with both of them, so how long ago was it? Five years, maybe more? It was during dinner that I finally asked, so he said he would tell me after Sweetie went to bed.

He took me into the back of this foreign house and led me to his office. Filed with trophies and pictures of teams and ponies he’d lead over the years. I want to say he’s in his late thirties, but I’m not entirely sure. A little older than mother, but not by much.

The desk was varnished redwood, he had pages of files in folders next to his computer, and smaller medals and trophies in little nooks and crannies where he could fit them. I never realized this, but he must’ve had a lot of success in what he did. You can’t be just anypony and lead Canterlot University’s hoofball team. He pulled open his desk drawer and took out a picture frame. Inside was a picture of the four of us, probably from several years ago judging by how Sweetie was still in swaddling clothes. Even I was tiny. And I’m not very big in the first place.

“Honey… do you… know what your mother’s occupation is?” Oh, damn it all, another word I don’t know. I make top marks in class, why don’t I know that word? Rather than expose my limited knowledge, I simply shook my head.

“Um… no sir.” He sighed and stroked at his mustache.

“Well, let me try this then. Have you ever seen her cutiemark?”

I had to think very hard on that one. I shouldn’t have to think hard on this, but I do. It’s not as if we wear clothes all the time, ponies in general don’t typically wear clothes unless it’s part of a uniform or for a special occasion. In theory, I should have seen her flank a million times by now, but why…? Well, her name is Pearl Treasure, surely it has to do with pearls doesn’t it? Isn’t that the rule? Marks typically correspond to names? Father’s name is… Bronze Belle. That has absolutely nothing to do with hoofball. Damn it.

“F-for some reason, I can’t think of it at the moment.” Which is true, if only half way. I’m not sure I know what it is in the first place. He scratched at his thin beard and then put his hooves together on the desk.

“It’s cookies. Three of them, one half eaten. She’s an amazing baker and a wonderful pâtissier. It’s a family thing, she comes from a long line of them on her mother’s side back in Cheval.”

Well there’s the first new thing today. I had no idea we were Chevallian. Should I have been trying to learn how to bake instead of sew all this time? It would certainly explain why I still don’t have my own mark yet, but I’ve never had any interest in that. I thought ponies were typically drawn to what they want to do. I’ve always been interested in fashion and making clothes, so…

“As for what she does… well, even I don’t know to be sure. Back almost… geez, two decades ago, I got into a Vine league school based solely on my performance in Hoofball on my high school team. I was really good at it. I played for Canterlot U for two years before I broke my hind leg. I was running for a touchdown, but the guy behind me clipped my hoof and tripped on me. Landed right there with his elbow, snapping my metatarsus down the middle.” He pulled his hind leg up to where I could see it and pushed some of his white coat away. Sure enough, there was a large scar running up the long bone that looked very old.

“My career was essentially over. The break was so bad that it required a plate and seven screws to hold together and my parents didn’t have the money to have it repaired magically. I would never play again regardless, and I was lucky to still be able to walk on this leg. I had to change my trajectory for life, and now that my dream job was off the table, I decided I might try to be a sportscaster instead. It was during one of my business classes the next semester that I met her.”

Well, that explains that. No wonder I never see him at full gallop. It was never that he simply wouldn’t, he couldn’t. I want to say that this word means direction, but again, a word I don’t know. I need to find a dictionary, this is getting out of hoof.

“To say that your mother was… attractive, when she was younger would be an understatement. I can’t speak for her, but when I saw her that day, I knew she was the one. I had my physique still going for me back then, and I wouldn’t say I wasn’t popular with the mares, but I also came from what ponies would call ‘common stock’ as it were. My family was initially from Detrot before the market crash happened back when I was just a colt and we moved to Canterlot in search of a better life. My father was a factory worker you see, so it was either move to the job site, or try to make it out on his own, and we just didn’t have the money for that.

“Anyways, I tried my da- er, hardest to get her attention, and after enough attempts, I learned that she had a boyfriend. But that didn’t last too long, and once they broke up, I came and swept her off her hooves. Third year of college, I finally got the mare, and I’d sorted out what I wanted to do with my life and made the decision to start coaching. It wasn’t well paying work and there wasn’t much acclaim to be had for teaching foals how to play a sport, but this way, I could still participate in the game I loved, even if I couldn’t play anymore.

“I got my teaching degree the next year and married your mother shortly after I found a job. Her father was… somepony I feared, if I’m being honest, because I could never get a read on the stallion. To this day, I will never know if he trusted me, or even liked me, but I suppose he liked me enough to give me his blessing, but I saw him maybe three times before he died. But that was the thing about her family, I hardly knew anything about them.

“I never met a mother. The only thing she knew about her was her family history. As far as I know, she never had one. Spent her whole life with her father moving from place to place and eventually settled down in Canterlot when she was in her teens. We lived a few blocks from each other in high school and never knew it because she was a few grades under me.

“So, two years after I graduated and we’ve been married, I started to notice something strange about her. As much as she’s the life of the party in public, she was always… reserved at home. Based on… certain factors, I can say she loved me at least for a while there, but as time went on, I was never sure it stayed that way. One day she told me she found a job that was going to bring us up in the world, and she was ecstatic. Last time I saw her that happy was on our wedding day. When I asked her what she was going to start doing, she said she couldn’t say.

“‘Oh, I’m afraid I’ll have to keep that one a secret,’ she would say. Time went on, the money started coming in like a free-flowing river, and I didn’t question much. However, I would come home to an empty house a lot. She would either get home late, or not at all some days. Of course, she always made up for it in her special way, but I began to have my suspicions. You uh… you know how babies are born right? It’s been a long time since I was in school and Sweetie hasn’t asked me yet, so…”

I scratched at my face and looked away. Well, it seems as if neither of us knows each other that well.

“Um, yes, we typically go over that in fifth grade. I have known for a while now.” It looked as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He leaned back and let out a breath of relief.

“Oh, thank the goddess. I teach history when I have to, I always get so awkward going over biology with kids. I had to sub for a class during that module once and I immediately withdrew from the position afterward. Never again. Anyways, she told me she was pregnant and I was… less happy than I should’ve been. She always came home late or not at all, she wouldn’t talk to me about her job, and she always complained about being sore when she was home, so… I thought she might’ve been cheating on me.

“I was conflicted, but I decided to wait and see. Whoever came out of her belly would tell me the truth, and when it turned out to be you, I was sure that wasn’t the case. Anypony could look at us and know that you’re mine. You have my eyes and my coat, and you have your mother’s mane and face. I couldn’t be happier. She took a few months off, and for a while there, we were the happy little family I always wanted.

“Of course, it didn’t last, and once her time off was up, she went right back to it and a decision had to be made. Either we hire somepony to basically raise you for us, or one of us quits our jobs. She would not budge. I made plenty of money for the three of us to live on, but she wouldn’t even consider becoming a stay at home mom. She’d finally made it to where she always wanted to be just like her father… for whatever they did, and she wasn’t about to put that on hold. In the end, I let it be and quit to play stay at home dad. A few years go by, and it wasn’t that bad. I only saw her every other day, and she had trips to other places as often as she had time off, but it wasn’t too bad. I had you to worry about, so she wasn’t the only thing on my mind then.

“When you needed less supervision though, my suspicions came back and I started to wonder what the pony I should know best was doing. I’d been with her for almost six years, but it felt like I barely knew the mare anymore. She’d changed after she got her job, and even when she was home on the rare occasion, I just never understood what it was. She was always smiling and full of life, she loved to spend time and play with you, but there was this… aloofness about her. She was here, but her focus was somewhere else.

“We had our first fight around then. I wanted to know what exactly she did and she wouldn't say a word on the subject. Finally I threatened her, and she told me that I did not have clearance to know. It was eye opening, to be sure. Clearance to know. So she works for the government in a position that her own husband couldn’t know about. It was half an answer but it explained so much. She was pregnant again not long after, and toward the end of those eleven months, we spent her maternity leave together.

“It was refreshing to have my wife back. I loved her, I still loved her, and it was good to be reminded of that. But as things do, it just didn’t last. She went back to work in force this time, and the separation started to take its toll. Not only was I raising you by myself, now I was taking care of Sweetie too. I needed help more than ever, and she was home even less than before.

“A marriage is a partnership, and while yes, she was making all the money, I couldn’t do this alone. She helped move my parents over here since us moving closer to them was out of the question, but… I started to get fed up with it. Waiting all the time, wondering if she’ll come home today, or sometime this week. The calls became less frequent, and there were weeks that would go by and I wouldn’t know if she was going to come home at all.

“After my mother succumbed to her cancer, I couldn’t take it anymore. I was tired of wondering and waiting on her, and the fact that she wouldn’t tell me what was going on was driving me crazy. Sweetie was five already. I waited for her to come back to me for almost twelve years and she just became more and more distant.

“I left you two with your grandpa one day and followed her after she left for work. She met up with some stallion from the castle. First thing she does is kiss him. I uh…” He swallowed and sniffed. “I was heartbroken. I confronted her about it when I saw her next, and she didn’t even try to rebuke me. She only asked, ‘what all did you see?’ Not, ‘no, I’m not cheating,’ or a plea for forgiveness or anything like that. Just ‘What do you know?’ I filed for divorce the next day.

“She didn’t even attempt to stop me. When I gave her the papers she just shook her head and asked for a pen. ‘He was right about you. I should’ve listened,’ she said. Like she was disappointed in me. I… can you believe that? She went off and… and…” He sighed. “When I told her I was taking you both, that is when the mare I used to know came back to life. It was like dealing with a wild dog, she was ready to get into legal battle after legal battle over it, and I hadn’t had a job in over a decade. I couldn’t afford that and still take care of you, so I gave in. I still regret it. I shouldn’t have let her keep you. I know she still has the same job, it’s the world to her. Is she… neglecting you? You always seem so lonely when you come home.”

I didn’t know what to say. Cheating on him? But… I’ve never seen her with a stallion either. Of course, I don’t know what she does, but she’s never gone from home for days at a time, and she always calls me when she can’t pick me up from school. I’ve never known her to be cold, but… I have always felt that she’s been… out of reach. Distant. Too far away to touch. But… she tries hard to be around me. I… don’t think I hate her, but… I wish she were home more. Is that it? Do I feel lonely?

“I… don’t know…” I let my eyes fall to my lap. I don’t know. Applejack was right, I don’t know anything about them. I never knew he was a hoofball star in his prime, I didn’t know she grew up motherless, I never even knew how long they’d been married. He took my hoof and had me look him in the eyes. They were crystal blue, clear and sincere, just like mine.

“Rarity, I… want you to be happy. I want you to grow up to be better than your mother, and if she’s… if she’s not treating you right, you don’t have to go back. You can stay here with your sister and me, if you want to. I’m sure your grandfather would love to see you again, and Canterlot has plenty of good schools around, you could make all kinds of friends here.”

L-leave Underhoof? Forever? I… I… I swallowed and pulled my hoof away.

“I… need to think about this… I still… I need to know her side of this. I… can’t just leave her alone, and… and my friends are all still-” He patted my head and ruffled my mane.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to make a decision now, just… think about it, okay? You’re a good girl, Rarity. It’s our fault that things didn’t work out and we shouldn’t have done this to you.” He looked at the wooden clock on his desk and let out a breath. “Your flight leaves at five thirty, so you should get to bed too. You have an early morning and you still have school tomorrow.” He got up from his desk and picked me up and hugged me. “I love you.” I didn’t know what I was feeling at the moment, but more than anything, I was confused.

“I love you too daddy.”

“Oh. You’re here… again.”

The large white mare levitated a helmet to me while continuing to sip on her latte. “Something came up, so I got a call. Can you believe that old mare works her this early in the morning? I didn’t even used to get up that early and the morning was like, my job.”

I sighed. Maybe I should’ve just stayed with dad. Well, even if not for me, at least for him, I need to know the truth. He said he saw her kissing another stallion, but she’s Chevallian isn’t she? Even if her job is a secret, what if that was just a bise? That’s their greeting as far as class has taught me. I… I can’t imagine she would do that to him. I know I don’t know her all that well, but I just can’t believe…

“Don’t you have school to go to? Come on, we’re gonna be late.” Celestia snapped me out of my trance, and I put my helmet on, not even noticing her taking my bag from me. Thank the goddess this isn’t Canterlot airport, it could’ve been stolen and I wouldn’t know.

It was warmer in Underhoof than it was in Canterlot. The east coast tends to be fairly cold as, even though we’re further north here, the elevation is lower. Geography is one of those things I never had much interest in, but apparently father teaches it sometimes when he subs. So much I never knew about his life, and I know next to nothing about hers other than what he told me. She’s still here, I can ask. I must know the truth. After about an hour, I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore so I opened up to the mare whose legs I was betwixt. I also found a dictionary application last night. Betwixt was one of my words of the day. Equestrian is such a strange mixture of languages.

“And now I need to learn the truth. Of course, not actually keeping her promise and picking me up like she said she would certainly garners points against her, but it’s not as if I didn’t expect this. She called me a little before I went to bed to make sure she heard me. She has to care about me if she does that, doesn’t she? Surely she’ll tell her own daughter the truth right?”

Celestia unzipped her jacket a bit. It says Top ★ Corn on the back, I noticed when she helped me on the motorcycle. A dated phrase, but some ponies still find it funny. Why she would have that printed on her jacket, I could never understand though.

“Oh, geez. Come on kid, do I have to answer that?”

I crossed my hooves and pouted. “Don’t you want to get paid? My mother has the money, I can tell her you did a fantastic job and have you recommended elsewhere. From what little I do know, I know she talks to a lot of ponies around town♪” I sang.

The white unicorn groaned and sighed. “Alright, but don’t get your hopes up because I don’t know that you’ll like what I say. You’ll still pass my card around as long as I tell you what I think, right?”

I rolled my eyes. “Come now, I’ll keep my word. I’ll get a lecture if I don’t. I don’t know how she does it, but Applejack will find out in some way or another. It’s like she can smell lies, I swear. Please, tell me.”

She shook her head. “Alright, but you asked for this. If it were me, and I’m not saying it ever could be, but let’s just pretend for a moment here. If my hypothetical kid ever asked me for the truth about what I do, I might find that my bike still has some astral fluid left and be on another planet for a few years just to get out of it. It’s not that I would never tell her, but she- you are still young. You just… aren’t developed enough to get some of the stuff that we go through.

“I’ve spent several lifetimes seeing ponies go through relationships, and with all my experience, even I don’t get it sometimes. It’s complicated. Really complicated. Even though you know it’s what you should do, you can’t always be open about your feelings to somepony else. Especially when you know they can’t understand what you’re going through. You gotta… have it in you to step up and swing the bat, ya know? And not everypony does. It takes practice to develop your swing, and it’s hard to get there if you never swing for the first time.

“So like, they got divorced over her job right? And you said your dad thinks she cheated on him, but you don’t believe it. Well, what if that’s just the ugly truth? Or worse, what if that isn’t the truth, and she never cheated on him? What will you do if you find out that your parents split over a misunderstanding?”

I… really didn’t plan this very well. Even if I get the truth out of her, what happens afterward? Would they get back together? I would love to have my family back, but her job is the bigger part of the issue here. Even if they still loved each other, could he deal with the strain of raising us and wondering about her? She doesn’t seem as busy as she used to be based on what he said. She’s never been gone more than a day since we moved out here.

But… what if she did cheat on him? Where is that stallion? I’ve never seen the things that usually go along with a mare in a relationship hidden anywhere in the house. As a matter of fact, that thing I found in her drawer would suggest she hasn’t been in a relationship in a very long time. And there’s that jar… why would she have those? Where did she get them? If she works for the government and can’t talk about it, then… what exactly does she do?

“I… will figure that out when I get there. First, I need to know her side of the story, and the root of all of this, specifically what her job is. I have an idea on how to corner her about it, and I can make her feel guilty about this morning so she picks me up later. Yes… and I know just who can help me track her…” I rubbed my hooves together. Oh yes, the plan is all coming together.

The giant mare leaned her neck down and eyed me with that giant, violet eye of hers. Seeing it up close like this finally had me figure out what it was about her that reminded me of Twilight. It’s those eyes. Their eyes are the same color.

“Are you… sure you’re thirteen? You are… very manipulative for somepony your age. You remind me of my sister, and I don’t know that that’s a good thing. Look, kid, maybe you shouldn’t force her into talking about this. Working for my sister can’t possibly be easy. She’s gotta have a tough job, ya know?”

I barely heard her. My plan was almost complete, and the next step was to put it into action. Yes… I will have the truth out of you yet, dear mother. Pearl Treasure! If that is your real name!

“How in the loving hell did I get roped into this?”

I rolled my eyes. “Twilight, please, you’re integral here.”

The violet filly tilted her head and scowled at me. “How often does this happen?” she asked across from me.

The orange filly with the long blonde pig tails put a hoof to her face and thought for a moment. “A couple times a week Ah guess. Ah’m more surprised that she managed ta pull y’all inta her scheme. Uh… what’d ya say yer name was?” Applejack scratched at the back of her head. She was always awful with names.

“Twilight. Twilight Sparkle. I never even realized we were in the same class.”

Applejack stuck her hoof out and they shook. “Jacklyn Apple, but most ponies call me Applejack. AJ works too. How did ya rope Twi here inta yer scheme?” she asked.

I raised my snout and smirked. “Oh, you know. I have a way with words.” Applejack huffed and Twilight rolled her eyes.

“She threatened to tell my irritating house guest something that was supposed to be a secret between friends! Stupid slut.”

I brought my hoof to my chest and continued to enjoy the pear Applejack had brought from home. “Yes, I do enjoy my many titles. I don’t know why you dislike Celestia so much. She seems like a nice enough mare.”

Twilight shook her head and groaned. “Ugh. You only spent four hours with her. I have to live with that. Two weeks! I was eaten!”

Applejack frowned. “Ah’m sorry?”

Twilight put her hooves on her head and brought them quickly down. “Yes! It happened! I was conscious! Bramos swallowed me whole, and then I had all these powers, and I threw Celestia at a shadow beast, and I kept Rainbow from dying of her wounds, and then I was shit out. Like, literally. It was gross. I had to take no less than three showers to be clean again. My uniform still smells weird. This was on Friday. Also Trixie was kind of suspended, so that may be why you couldn’t contact her. She literally tried to kill Dash.

Like, intent and everything. Had the cameras not malfunctioned when the shadow showed up, that whole fight would’ve been recorded. Thankfully, Trixie beating the shit out of Dash however, was recorded, and I’m told Rainbow’s dad has received a hefty sum to keep quiet about it. She has a phone now by the way, so if you want that number, I can give it to you.”

Through her rambling, Twilight eventually came back down to earth and I nodded appropriately after throwing the pear core in the trash can. The lunch room in the girl’s school was almost never quiet, but today was a special day since so many were home sick.

“I'll take that. Do you have Pinkie’s number too? I tried to contact you over the weekend, but I suppose you were still cleaning yourself. I figured I could’ve gotten the story out of her, but I don’t have her number.”

Applejack frowned. “Wait, y’all are just gonna take that whole story at face value? Come on, that ain’t believable.”

Ignoring her, Twilight answered me, “Yeah, I’ll send it to you too. Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t respond though. I don’t think she’s allowed to use it during certain hours of the day and definitely not when she’s working.”

I thought on that for a bit. “Her parents are miners right?”

“Don’t ignore me! Come on, seriously?” I rolled my eyes and we stared at Applejack together with disapproving looks.

I flipped her mane up and pointed at the unnatural necrosis-like bruise she’s had on her forehead for a while. “Come now. You were hit by a mare carrying an electric bass guitar riding on a flying motorcycle. I was also hit by the very same mare in a similar fashion. So was Twilight. Look, I even have a picture of a matte white pony that looks like a mannequin, but moves as if it’s alive. Surely you’ve adjusted to the weird by now.”

She pulled back and covered her bruise. “No, Ah haven’t! Don’t touch it! … It makes me feel funny.” She was squirming and put a hoof on her skirt and pressed her knees together.

Twilight made a noise and got up on two hooves while she pointed at her. “She has one too! I thought I was the only one!”

Applejack stopped and looked up, as Twilight showed off her own bruise. She stood and put her hooves up against Twilight’s and I could swear this was a scene from one of those dirty romantic comic books. Applejack appears in the frame at the top of the page, her mane comes undone and flies in the nonexistent wind that’s passing in a localized area around her head in the cafeteria, sparkles and light effects in the back of the panel, the words ‘doki doki’ pulsing in the background.

“Oh Twi-chan, you completely understand me! You feel just like I do on the inside!” A dramatic frame cut littered with flowers and pantone bubbles in the background, Twilight’s eyes become inordinately detailed as opposed to the rest of her.

“Absolutely Apple-sama. I understand you the same way. Together we can understand each other unlike anypony else.” The two young fillies then look deep in each other’s eyes, their cheeks turning rosy, their lips slowly coming together… and then they both stare at me wondering what I’m looking at.

“Y’all okay there, Rarity?”

I shook my head and sighed. I really need to stop shipping ponies in my head. This is getting out of hoof. Maybe my head injury is getting to me.

Twilight curled one hoof up and slapped it against the other. “Oh, maybe she’s having one of her fantasies again.” She paused a moment and then narrowed her eyes at me. “Are you shipping me again? I told you to stop that.”

I turned and found the clock and realized the bell was about to ring. “Goodness, would you look at the time. We should get back to class, ha ha.” I threw my styrofoam tray away and headed toward the classroom hoping what came next didn’t.

“Shippin’? What’s that mean?”

“Well… one time Rarity gave me her phone to read something, and then I went to open another tab on the browser and I saw something weird in her browser history. I click on this link and it takes me to this page just filled with-”

Riiiiiiing

“Alright, you remember the plan?”

The immediate response was an animated eye roll emoji. “Yes, we know the plan. You sent it like, five minutes ago. You know texts don’t disappear, right?”

Smart ass.

“Ah mean, Ah guess, but Ah still don’t understand why we’re puttin’ a tracker on yer mom. More important than that though, where in the hell did she get somethin’ like that? Ya said she just has a jar filled with ‘em?”

Yes, where indeed…

“Oh, who are you talking to honey? Did you… have a good time in Canterlot?” Mother asked.

I put my phone down and stared out at the road. I’d already slid the tracker in her pocket when I hugged her earlier, so now all I had to do was wait. Applejack is going home to get her mini truck, which I suppose is like an ATV mixed with a golf cart, but with a bed in the back and Twilight is helping me trace the signal since I can’t do long distances with my own magic. Neither of us are higher tier unicorns so I was hoping to use Trixie’s abilities to my advantage, but apparently her temper finally got the better of her. I suppose she’s just lucky she’s not in prison right now. Or juvie, I guess.

“It was a good time. I enjoyed myself. We um… talked a lot. I know this might be out of the blue, but um… why did you separate?”

I think we were doing somewhere around thirty and we’d reached the intersection to the highway. In a quick, fluid motion, mother shifted down to first, slammed the gas pedal, and let off the clutch like it was hot to the touch. The car jerked forward, started to slide sideways, then shot straight down the road. She wove through what little traffic Underhoof had at the moment, and in seconds we were already home.

“Wow, I uh… suddenly have somewhere else I need to be right now and you can’t come with me, I’ll see you tonight, bye!” In a whirlwind of pale green magic, my things were collected and I was shuffled out of the car. She smiled at me like she was in pain, shifted into reverse, and then stepped on the gas so hard that the tires squealed as she J-turned out the driveway and back the way she came.

“Well, so much for doing this the easy way.” I figured Celestia knew what she was talking about when she said she would run away from the question, but I thought she meant it figuratively. Oh well.

I pulled up my phone and tried to turn on the tracker before she got too far away for my magic to reach it, but I was too late. Damn. I suppose I need Twilight after all. Time to call in the cavalry.

After half an hour of waiting, Applejack arrived with Twilight in her mini-truck thing, and once we were together, we put our magic to work and turned on the tracker. As the instructions and my previous tests said it would, it did in fact turn on from this far away, showing it was all the way across town. Not a large distance considering one can look down the highway and see from end to end of Underhoof, but all the same.

“Huh. I’m surprised we managed that. I know I don’t have the power to flip a switch from down stairs.”

I nodded. “As far as I can tell, this only takes a very light stimulation from some kind of magical energy to turn on. As long as you can do that, the tracker goes live. With any luck she hasn’t registered it to her phone and she doesn’t know it’s active right now. I may be in trouble if she finds it, but who cares. I need to know, and now we can follow her movements.”

Applejack took my phone and checked the map. “Hmm… this far out nopony will care, but if Ah’m just drivin’ around town in this thin’ somepony might tell Pappy about it. Ah’m still nursin’ the wound from hittin’ Applebloom the other day…”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t be such a wet blanket, this is for my parents! I could fix my family if I could just learn the truth!”

She frowned and raised an eyebrow in that trademark fashion of hers. “Yeah, Ah get the feelin’ this won’t be so easy. But whatever, Ah’ll drive ya around. Just be glad Mac covered fer me. Also, Ah have ta return home with some groceries, so if we pass it, Ah need ta run inta the store.” I lowered my brows.

“What exactly did you tell them you were doing?”

She pointed to the sacks of pears in the bed of the ATV. “Makin’ a few deliveries. Which we are. Ah’m not about ta lie ta Pappy about what Ah’m doin’. Ah’m just… doin’ some extra stuff too.”

I pulled my mouth to the side. “Oh-kay then. Onward!”

Surprisingly, Mother visited every store we needed to go to to make Applejack’s deliveries. The post office, the grocery store, the drug store, the flower shop, the singular little clothing store in Underhoof. She dropped off a package and Applejack gave some pears to the postmaster. She bought some chocolate and Applejack gave some pears to the store owner. She bought some bright red roses and Applejack gave some pears to the florist. She bought some lacy black thing and Applejack gave some pears to the seamstress.

“Is it just me, or does it look like she’s about ta go on a date with a ‘happy endin’?’” Applejack asked.

I blinked a few times.

“Ponies actually put that kind of thing on? How?” Twilight interrupted.

Applejack frowned. “Ah thought ya said ya looked at that website? Don’t ya know what that was?”

Twilight blinked. “Oh. Oooooh. Got it. I have become aware of a great many things in the past few weeks. Geez, I never realized they were so small. Yeah, I’d say so. I wonder who she’s doing all this for, though?”

I finally stopped chewing on my hoof long enough to speak my thoughts. “Okay, so maybe it does look like that. But that doesn’t mean that she’s been doing this the whole time, does it? This wouldn’t prove she was doing it while they were married, maybe she just found somepony else?”

They looked at each other and then frowned at me. “In this little town? We’ve got what, a population of six, maybe seven hundred in the county? Ah don’t imagine there’s much of a datin’ scene. Especially fer single mothers.”

I eyed the orange earth pony. “What are you suggesting?”

She rolled her eyes. “Ah’m sayin’ maybe nopony ever really knew what she did, and she’s actually a red light gal or somethin’. From what Mac says, that particular line of work does have a market here, and some of the older ponies around tend ta have a lot of money ta spend and nopony ta share it with. Were it not fer us, Pappy would be one of them older ponies.”

I shook my head, slowly at first, but then ever more rapidly. “N-no, no, no, no, No, NO! Absolutely not! My mother is… she would never…”

Twilight frowned. “Well, it sort of correlates with what you’ve told us so far. A job she’s not willing to tell anypony about, something she won’t give up because the money is too good. I mean, who’s to say it isn’t true? We really can’t know unless she tells us or we see it happen.”

I scratched at my head, but it was getting harder and harder to think otherwise.

I know she’s never been the greatest mother in the world, but she wouldn’t do that, would she? It would certainly explain why all those old stallions were friendly with her, but… but… and the dinner parties, we were always among the youngest there weren’t we? But… she’s always told me to guard my treasures, she wouldn’t be… selling hers behind my back would she? My mother is better than that. I believe she’s better than that. She can’t be. She wouldn’t be. She is not. I will prove it!

“Let’s just get back in the truck and find out. Where did she go Applejack?”

The orange mare opened my phone and pulled up the tracker application. “Uh… she’s kinda out toward the river on the south east side. Ah didn’t think there was much of anythin’ back that way.”

Twilight tilted her head. “Oh, well I live out there.”

Immediately I took the phone from Applejack and stared at the tracker. From the looks of it, she was headed toward Twilight’s house. Her father is close to my mother’s age, and more importantly, divorced, like she was.

“Applejack, drive.”

“I can’t believe it. She really did come to my house! And here I thought Celestia was the one to be worried about. Ugh, I hope this is all some kind of misunderstanding. My dad’s pay grade is way below your mom’s. Complaining about never having money and then blowing what we do have on this. Come on.”

I gave Twilight a swift pop to the back of the head. “It is a misunderstanding! Who in their right mind would actually do that for your pathetic father?”

Twilight raised a hoof like she was about to argue against that, but then brought it to her chin. “Rude, but you make a fair point. He has been taking better care of himself since Celestia moved in though. I mean, my brother and I exist, so he had to be attractive at some point in the past. He’s kind of a pushover, so I really doubt he forced himself on anypony…”

Applejack frowned. “Y’all are mean. Ya shouldn’t treat yer parents like that.”

We rolled our eyes. “Yes, you don’t have any, congratulations. Can you get with the program and stop lecturing me for a moment?”

Applejack sighed and shook her head. “Whatever. She’s stopped movin’. Looks like she’s sittin’ in the middle of the buildin’, closer ta the right wall.”

“That probably means they’re in the dining room. There’s a big sliding glass door on that side to the back yard, so we can go watch.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow at her. “Backyard? Twi, Sugarcube, there ain’t no fences around yer house. Ya don’t have a ‘yard’ it’s just land.”

Twilight eyed her back. “No, a yard is the area near a building or a house. A yard is anything.”

Applejack shook her head. “No, it’s ground surrounded by buildin’s, or walls. Ya ain’t got walls, ya ain’t got a yard!”

Twilight threw her hooves up. “It doesn’t need walls, a yard is a yard! The word has like six definitions and they all refer to a specific area! Fences do not make yards!”

I let out my irritation and hit them both. “I don’t care if it has fences or not, it’s unimportant! We need to see what our parents are doing! You can argue all you want over stupid crap when we’re done!”

After rubbing at her head, Applejack picked my phone back up and checked the map again. “Oh, looks like they moved. Elevation increased and they’re on the back left side of the buildin’.”

I growled at them in frustration. “Gah! Come on, we have to see this!”

Twilight frowned. “That… sounds like they’re in dad’s room.”

With quick looks to each other, we darted for the back of the house. The window on the second floor was open and we could hear them as we got closer.

“I really shouldn’t be doing this…” Well, that was Nightlight. But what are they doing that he shouldn’t be?

“Hey, help me up! There’s a ledge under the windowsill, if I can reach it, I can see inside!” I whispered. Applejack made herself a base and Twilight climbed up on her back.

“Oh, but that won’t stop you, now will it?” M-mother? What was that tone? What was that voice? She… she sounds like…

“Celestia could come home any minute…” What about her? Why does that matter?

I took a step on Applejack and then started to climb Twilight.

“It’s not like you’re married anymore, she’ll understand…” Married? To whom? Celestia?

One hoof on the building, another at the ledge. I climbed a little higher and I could touch the windowsill.

“Pearl, I-”

“Shh… I know how lonely it can be as a single parent, and we both know that she could never love you while she’s still chasing after him… just tell me what you do know and we could make this a routine♥”

I used everything I had to pull myself up to the window, and when I looked inside, I screamed. My grip came loose, my back hoof slid out from under me and I started to fall. Twilight and Applejack tried to catch me, but instead of doing that, my head hit Twilight’s and I crashed on top of both of them.

I managed to get off my friends, but then suddenly, I was hit by a wave of nausea. My whole body was on fire and my knees locked. My head hurt. It hurt a lot. I staggered to the left, it felt like something had struck me from the inside of my ear like a hammer and a nail. I staggered to the right, that same sensation pulsing in my head. The feeling traveled down and toward my horn, and then… and then…!

“It’s going to overflow!”

Sweet relief came as my knees gave in and a high pressure blast of something spilled out of my horn. The dark liquid flew in a stream and pooled in midair, swirling like gas until it finally took form. A giant horse like creature with massive hips and something like a blade attached to its head appeared before us. The almost skeletal figure was thin in some places and thick in others, like a model suffering from severe dysmorphia and bad surgery.

Its twisted tail looked to be covered in metal plates, the glowing white eyes had no pupils but were focused on me. The mostly formed mouth was missing skin and muscle in some places, with black bones jutting out where there wasn’t enough to go around. The dark creature roared and suddenly, my knees being unavailable was a very bad thing. I tried to get up and run, but nothing would move when I told it to. The monster stepped toward me and opened its massive jaws, the swirling dark mist inside pouring out like water at either side, beckoning to me.

“H-HELP!” Before I even knew what happened, somepony had grabbed all three of us and ran away from the monster.

“Well, that clears that up. No wonder I didn’t get anywhere sooner, I never suspected a child had the gate,” Mother said, absentmindedly. The three of us were floating in her pale green magic when the monster charged after her. With speed I never knew she was capable of, she darted toward her car and set us behind it.

“Don’t move.” I had just enough time to blink before she was on the move again. The monster had chased after her, but instead of running, she went after it.

She pulled on a belt on the lacy thing she was wearing to shake it off and then took A hoof gun from the car in her magic and charged at the beast. She took the black metal and aimed the barrel at the monster’s face and fired. The bullet zoomed through the air, but passed through the monster as if it were made of fog. Completely unaffected, the beast continued its charge without so much as flinching.

“What the-!?” The monster’s front left hoof kicked right into her stomach and Mother went flying across the road. She started to get back up, but was all cut up and her snout was bleeding.

No, no, this can’t be happening! The beast roared at her again and took a step closer. Mother staggered, but managed to keep herself up.

No, get back down! It’s after you! She took the gun back in her magic and took a shaky step forward. The shadow reared at her challenge and then charged at her.

“NO!” I ran after her with a speed I never knew I had and managed to reach her before the beast. She didn’t notice me, and the shadow didn’t seem to care. I kicked mother out of the way, leaving me in her place, in line with the open jaws of the shadow, the black void inside calling to me as if we were meant to be together. The last thing I saw was the horror in her eyes.

Twilight

“Ho-LEE shit! What in the world just happened!?”

I believe Applejack was speaking for everypony involved. The shadow came out of Rarity’s head this time, and it was gross. If the first one was a skeleton, and the second was a horse with muscles, this one was closer to fully formed in more places, but missing the skin and meat elsewhere. Rarity’s mom jumped out to fight the damn thing with a hoof gun like some kind of revenge movie, but her shot just kinda… passed through, like nothing happened. Strange to consider because Celestia and I have hit those things with her bass, so what’s different? Of course, I didn’t have the time to think about that, it just swallowed Rarity. This one didn’t look to have the teeth like the last one, so what did just happen?

The monster stopped in its tracks and reared its head up as something traveled down its throat. The missing pieces started to fill with a white-violet gas that glowed next to the dark, swirling shadows that made up the rest of the monster. The blade on its head doubled in size, and now the mouth gained the teeth the last one had. Rows and rows of even sharper blades. Its eyes swirled and changed colors, the white traded for violet and two white ovals surfaced and focused on Rarity’s mom. The monster, which now looked a lot like a bigger, more muscular, gangly Rarity, opened its mouth and roared in her mother’s face.

“Huh. She got eaten by her feelings. That kinda sucks.”

I blinked and turned my head to find Celestia and Bramos had returned from whatever it was she was doing and parked right next to Applejack’s ATV… silently. In the last few seconds. Without anypony noticing.

“Excuse me, how long have you been here!? Why didn’t you intervene?!”

She rolled her eyes and took her bass out of its case. “I warped here less than a second ago. I only just noticed the thing. Give me some credit will you? I still need her, so I can’t have this. Besides, that thing came out of the wrong gate. It’s all mixed up and missing pieces, so it used the host to fill the holes. We shouldn’t leave her there for too long though, otherwise she’ll be assimilated and it’ll be just like she contracted the virus herself.” She wiped the bass down with a spray and tuned a few of the strings until she was happy with the way they sounded, then threw the instrument at me.

“Huh?”

“That’s your friend, you save her!” She picked me up by the scruff of my neck and threw me at Bramos.

“Oh, not again.” The matte white pony opened the mouth he didn’t have, and after I entered the void it was like I was falling through space. The wind rushed past me as the world danced in mismatched colors like a kaleidoscope. Getting sick just looking at the mess of vibrant hues, I turned toward the only inoffensive spot I could see, and then suddenly, I was standing on the bike. I looked at Applejack, still on the ground, and suddenly I could see that bruise of hers beneath her mane, like the hair wasn’t there. The closer I looked, the more I could see, like it was a window into the vastness of space. Stars, clouds of gas, planets, there were all kinds of celestial things in that little spot, and just before I went further, Celestia put a hoof on my shoulder.

“Better not. Your friend is gonna kill her mother if you don’t do something, like, now.”

The monster opened her mouth and it looked like Rarity’s mom had hurt one of her legs. I wrapped my hoof around the neck of the bass and used the wings I knew were there to flap hard and fly. In some weird burst of uncontrollable power, my whole being shot across the road and before I even knew what I was doing, I spun and slammed the bass into the beast’s head.

TWANG!

The chord rang out, and the monster went spiraling away from the older mare. The beast crashed into the road with flailing legs until it caught traction and started to stand again. The white pupils focused on the pink mare and it roared again.

“YoU bEtRaYeD hIm! yOu BeTrAyEd Me!” it screeched in a mixture of voices. At the root of all that sound, I could hear Rarity’s voice mixed in. Ink was dripping from her head where the bass made contact, and the wound spurted while she was yelling.

“Hey, good shot. You’ve got a real nice swing. But, and don’t get me wrong here I think you’re doing great, you could’ve killed your friend had you actually hit any closer to the face. I can get her out, but I need you to create an opening for me without killing her, alright? Avoid the vitals, in other words. Ooh, I gotta take this, you should uh… dodge.”

I didn’t have time to respond, I could only look at the growing bright light coming from Shadow Rarity’s horn. Celestia grabbed Rarity’s mom and then bolted while I tried to cast a barrier to stop the laser. The beam fired and the sudden wave of intense light and heat had me struggling to keep the shield active.

Good goddess, what in the world is going on!? The laser stopped just when I thought I couldn’t take any more, then the monster reared back and roared another deafening screech. Somehow, I could tell that the tones in its voice were at odds with each other and moving from one unnatural pitch to another, like some kind of malfunctioning machine.

“GiVe It BaCk!” she screeched. The blade charged after me, but in my stupidity, I stood my ground and blocked her with the guitar. Somehow, that seemed to work. She wasn’t as strong as I thought she was, so I pushed back and knocked her away.

Huh. Am I strong? This is so weird.

“Hey, chill! What did I just say, geez? You’re gonna break her!” Celestia returned, and I finally realized the damage I’d done. There was now a big, black gash leaking more ink over half of her face. She looked like she was melting now, and the trail of smoke running to the ground off her face was almost sickly to look at.

“ShE lIeD tO mE!” I still wasn’t sure what all was happening here, but Celestia stepped forward and shook her head.

“Throw me at her the moment she looks unstable,” I heard in my head. It was her voice, but… telepathy? How many unicorns in the world can do that? Just what is she?

“And you never saw the whole story! You don’t know anything about her, and you still haven’t learned anything! Is what you saw really the truth!?” The monster hesitated and looked away for a split second. “Now!”

I wound back the bass and she hopped in the air. I swung as fast and hard as I could and once it made contact with Celestia’s hooves mid arc, she shot forward like a bullet.

TWANG!

The chord rang out and the monster staggered back, her hooves on her head, half screeching, half crying. Celestia landed on its head and kicked the giant blade off the monster’s face. It snapped in two and melted in black smoke, while Celestia reached down into the new leaking black hole. The monster stamped and stomped wildly, the colors on its coat fading in and out.

“Hold still, damn it! Almost there! Gotcha!”

Celestia pulled her hoof out of the monster’s head, and with it came Rarity and a new guitar. The neck was polished white, being made with some kind of pearl finish and the body shaped like a diamond. It was clear and angular like a crystal, and the fretboard was a stark shiny black. She tilted it from side to side, inspecting the instrument like some kind of connoisseur, and then was promptly tossed off of the reverted monster. She twisted in midair and pulled Rarity close to her chest, landing right on her back and sliding next to me. She set the filly down and wiped the dirt off her face, then scowled at me.

“You could’ve caught me, ya know. You’re all amped up like this, but acting like some dumb kid and standing there isn’t very useful to anypony. In the future, I expect you to use the power you have.”

I tried to say ‘sorry,’ but nothing came out. It was like my mouth was covered with tape or something.

Celestia rolled her eyes and swung the new crystal guitar over her shoulder. “Useless. Be less of that and do that thing again.” Ashamed of myself, I got in position to swing once more and Celestia sighed. “This is what happens when I try to work with amateurs.” She hopped off the ground and I swung again.

TWANG!

She held the guitar in front of her and spun herself like a drill, the crystal’s point facing the monster. It didn’t have time to do much of anything before she bored through the beast and landed on the other side. She took a pair of W shaped red sunglasses out of her jacket and slid them over her face as she struck a pose. The monster fell and exploded in a black cloud behind her.

“And that is how a pro does it.” Three sets of hooves started to clap, and I turned to see dad, Applejack, and Rarity’s mom applauding her.

“So… what is it? Bullets didn’t work, so it’s got to be something more…” the mother asked.

Celestia tilted her head to one side and popped her neck. “Come on, you don’t know what this thing is? Get a clue. And she calls you her best. What a joke. And by the way, take better care of that thing.” Celestia said as she pointed at the white filly with her new guitar. “I cannot believe she let you ruin your family over this stupid job. Talk about a shitty boss. You know what? I give you clearance to talk to them about it. They are more important, and you should know better. Fix it. Call that an order.”

Rarity’s mom sighed and shook her head. “The damage is already done, there’s no way-” Celestia took a very heavy step toward the much smaller mare and picked her up by the neck with one massive hoof.

“Did I stutter?”

Struggling under the grip of the gold magic, Rarity’s mom squeaked out a, “N-no ma’am!” and then was promptly dropped to the ground.

Satisfied with that, Celestia took her bass from me and the new guitar and threw them both in her case. “Good. You tell her that if she wants to talk to me, then she better come do it herself. Not only am I appalled that she didn’t just contact me in the first place, I’m absolutely floored that she would try to sneak around behind my back.

“Did she contract a hard case of stupid in the last decade, or what? She should know better. This kind of shit is exactly why I didn’t want to come home in the first place. I’m going to take a bath. Keep that in good condition. I still need it later, alright?”

And then Celestia slammed the front door. Suddenly, I felt very nauseous, and turned to the back of Applejack’s ATV and hurled. I closed my eyes for one second, then the next, I was looking at Bramos from the back of the ATV. This smell was significantly less awful than the last one, but it was still horrid.

“Aww, what the hell? Why would ya do that there? Now Ah have ta clean this thin’ before Ah go home. Thanks a lot, Twi.”

I wiped some of the ick off my face and scowled at her. “Sure, whatever, take the hose and wash it here. I don’t even have any control over that. Besides… I think I need a wash too.”

Applejack plugged up her snout and waved a hoof in front of her eyes. “Ah’ll say. Ya know, hearin’ ‘em second hoof is definitely harder ta believe than seein’ it. Ah thought Fluttershy was full of shit the other day, but sure enough, Ah watched it happen myself.”

Huh. So Applejack knows the yellow kid. Interesting.

“Well… I’m sorry, for today.” Rarity’s mom said to dad. Oh, right, they’re still here. He must’ve helped her back to her hooves while I was experiencing what it feels like to throw yourself up.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. This is just the way things are when Celestia comes around. You never know what’s going to happen next with her.” Dad laughed, but she shook her head and took his hoof.

“No, I mean it. I… should’ve just been upfront with you instead of trying to take advantage of you like that. I’ve been… living in my father’s world for too long now and I think… Celestia is right. It’s time to get away and sort out my life. I haven’t even seen my youngest in half a year and I did… something horrible to that poor stallion. I’m sorry.”

Dad shook his head again and pulled his hoof back. “It’s okay. Once she accomplishes whatever it is she set out to do here, then she’ll probably take off again and things… will go back to the way they were. I… will be fine.” Slowly, dad turned away and headed back inside.

The pink unicorn turned to me and said, “Thank you for protecting my daughter. I should be the one doing that and I’ve been neglecting my most important job for far too long.” She bowed, then collected Rarity and drove off.

“Ya know… Ah don’t think Ah’ll miss this side of havin’ parents. Let’s uh… get y’all cleaned up.

Funny Bunny (Part 1)

Author's Note

Funny Bunny

Funny Bunny (Part 1)

Fluttershy

When she first appeared, I was left in awe. She was massive, bigger than any stallion I’ve ever seen. Her mane was like flowing gas filled with sparkling light and flowing in the wind, four colors of the dawn sun, pink, lavender, green, and teal blue. She was wearing a crimson leather jacket with black stripes on it, the words ‘Top★Corn’ emblazoned in gold, and a big yellow scarf that waved in the wind alongside her sparkly mane. Splitting the fog and flying through the air on a motorcycle, fully encompassed in the sun behind her. She, the Sun. Through my tear-filled eyes while I thought my savior was dying on the ground before me, she came when I needed her most. The answer to my prayers, my Sun.

With the help of Twilight and some plastic pony, they defeated the giant monster that came out of Twilight’s head with a heavy swing of that wonderful sound, the guitar that vanquishes monsters. She turned to me, and then I saw her eyes. Violet, the color of amethyst with little specks of gold all around that shone and flashed with the movement of light. With their powers combined, my savior was enveloped in magic and brought back to life.

What kind pony could have that much power other than a goddess? It was believed long ago that there were two alicorns in the world, the Queen and her elder sister, but it was said that she disappeared almost a thousand years ago. She doesn’t have wings, but who else could this powerful, beautiful, massive mare be but the lost Queen of the Sun?

Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw something small and black move into my backpack, but when I checked it, Angel was fine, and the bunny was the only thing that could move around inside. With as much effort as it would take to pick up a foal, the large white mare took both Dash and I in her hooves and helped us get settled on her motorcycle. Twilight smelled awful, but that didn’t matter to me. She was here. I could touch her. I could feel her. I could smell her. Ah, my goddess.

“I-it’s over Twilight. I have the high ground. Now, draw your last pathetic card,” I said. It’d been a week since I met the Motor Mare, and it was Friday again. I searched and searched for mentions of the old Sun Queen online and found nothing. What little there is about the Queen’s older sister is basically that, she’s the Queen’s older sister and is one of the last two alicorns, a pony made of the best traits of all three races.

“My brother’s deck has no pathetic cards, Fluttershy! You underestimate my powers!” I was honestly surprised to learn how much I have in common with these other mares. I’ve lived in Underhoof for most of my life after my parents decided that the sky city was getting too violent to raise a family in. As old as they were, things were different now, and they wanted to go somewhere like it used to be. And so, the small town of Underhoof was selected, and my little brother was born here a few years later.

“Ah ha! It’s here!” Twilight drew her card like some kind of anime protagonist, moving her hoof all the way across her body to its full extent and flipping the card around to face her. She might be too into this because, not only did I see that it was Dark Magic Circle, I already had a plan in mind to win the duel anyways. All she has to do is summon something and then it’s all over. Ponies like to think that Blue-Eyes is a bad deck but, in contrast with the mess that is Dark Magician and his support, it’s leagues above. XYZ ruined the game, but Links just made degeneracy more profitable. If only I had the will to stay away.

“I activate the effect of Dark Magical Circle! This card-” I rolled my eyes and sighed.

“Twilight, I know what the card does, this is our third game.” The violet unicorn blushed and set the card next to her trap.

“Er… right.”

I’m sure she’s learned better than to have Eternal Soul active when I’ve broken it twice with Twin Twister and beat her for it, so when she activates the already set Magician Navigation to summon the Dark Magician she’s about to draw and the one she put back in her deck to get Ebon Illusion Magician out…

“So, I reveal Dark Magician and add him to my hoof, then place the other two cards on top of my deck in any order. Then, I activate my trap card, Magician Navigation!”

Uh-huh. I switched from my Blue-eyes Chaos MAX Dragon deck because I knew she had no way to get around the already hard to deal with ritual monster, but as it happens, my Burn deck is significantly better, even if Dark Magic Attack is the bane of my existence. Of course, if Twilight knew that, this wouldn’t be so easy. In trying to make the game fairer, I’ve made it even more one sided. I suppose having somepony other than my little brother to bully in this game is better, but her deck isn’t good, so this isn’t even fun… well, except for when I win like this…

“This card allows me to special summon the Dark Magician in my hand, and then one level seven or lower dark, spellcaster-type monster from my deck! Come forth, Dark Magician!” The purple unicorn clumsily cycled through her cards until she found the old first edition ultimate rare original set Dark Magician in perfect condition that I want off her so bad but she won’t give up because it’s her brother’s or whatever, and then played it to the field. My parents said I was too young when I first saw this thing, and it was just in an old bargain box of unsealed cards. Nowadays, that card is worth something like fifty bits, alone and in poor condition. It is, to say the least, frustrating to see this filly, who barely knows how to play, with it in her deck. Oh well, time to end it.

“Then, this triggers the effect of Dark Magical Circle, and I target to banish your Azure-Eyes Silver Dragon!” I couldn’t help but smile when I activate this card. I can never take it out of any deck I make because it always gets me out of a bad situation, and every time I do, it’s always the card that would’ve saved me when I lose.

“And on to that, I chain the effect of Ring of Destruction, targeting the first edition Dark Magician. And then I chain Just Desserts. Just for fun, I’ll throw in Accumulated Fortune because why not? And then I activate Ojama trio. And finally, Chain Burn, because overkill is never enough. Going back down the chain, Chain Burn hits you for twenty-four hundred at chain link 6, Fortune draws me two cards, Ojamas summon themselves to your field, giving you five monsters, Just Desserts deals five hundred per monster, so that’s twenty-five hundred, and then destroying your Dark Magician hits you for twenty-five as well, so seventy-four hundred in total. That would be-”

“GAME!” came from the game the other two fillies remaining in the classroom were playing. It was Friday again, one week from when I first saw, but not met, the Motor Mare. In truth she hit me in the face with her guitar when I turned to find the source of the music, but I didn’t even know what happened back then until I started hearing the rumors about how Rarity and Applejack both had a similar experience. Of course, Applejack saw her before she got hit, so she could actually testify.

“Oh, damn it. Why do I always get hit by that? Is there a good way to deal with opponents who jump all the time like you do?” Pinkie asked. Of all the ponies in school, I think she’s the most mysterious. I typically keep to myself, and aside from Applejack, Trixie was the only pony I ever spoke to during the week. Stupid bitch. I hope that tooth never gets fixed. Too bad she survived.

“That’s just the way the competitive game is played. If you’re not in the air all the time, you’re either playing a grounded character, or you’re playing wrong. The bane of my existence is zoners, but you have to be kinda good at spacing to pull that off. Oh! Armored attacks are also very hard for me to deal with because I don’t have them. If you want to keep using your character, I suggest learning to mix in grabs when you approach. Since this is… well, kind of a fighting game, you can’t tech out of them unless your opponent tries to hold for too long, so more often than not, it’s a guaranteed opening.”

I know some of those words. Rainbow Dash, the new girl whom is even shorter than everypony else, and significantly shorter than I, has been staying after school to play that game of theirs with Pinkie and Twilight. She seems very interested in me since she saw me drawing before Trixie got to me last week, her knocking my sketch book off my desk the whole reason for that incident in the first place. Stupid cunt. I wish that monster did what it came for. I guess she likes anime because she and her dad play the fighting games based around it. ‘That looks like Blueblaze’ or something. As it turns out, Twilight’s big brother also really liked anime, and Twilight is almost as much a weeb as I am, though she’s less internet inclined and not as… well…

“Gah! Damn it. Oh well, at least it’s not Magic Cylinder this time. I don’t know which is more frustrating, that or Dimension Wall… Your deck is scary. Shining never put anything together like either of those before. Though, that might be because he always liked the unicorns better than the dragons. And monsters. I didn’t even know you could make a deck that barely uses them. Is there a way I can make this better?”

No, you’re playing Dark Magicians as well as you can. They’re just not up to par anymore. Just wait till I pull out my competitive deck. You think burn damage is bad, wait till you learn about hoof traps.

“W-well… maybe. You could try going online and looking at staples for spellcaster decks, like maybe Secret Village of the Spellcasters, or Skill Drain since most of your monsters don’t have effects anyways…” What am I saying? She should get a better deck! Twilight stacked up her cards and put them back in her deck box. It was white with somepony else’s cutiemark drawn on crudely, most likely her brother’s doing when he got this deck however many years ago that was.

“Hmm… I guess, though I’m not sure where I’ll get the money for that. Is it expensive? I get a few silvers to play with every month from dad.” I unconsciously cycled through my cards to look at the Ash Blossom that cost me about a black bit to get my hooves on. Oh goddess, she has no idea. I can never tell her the truth.

“Well… um, you know… t-typically, card games are… well, they can be… more expensive than one would think, so…” I’m not sure I can break it to her. I don’t want her to stop playing, then I’d have nopony to play with. But… nopony should ever spend the kind of bits I’ve spent on this game. My obsession. Ooh, there’s an idea!

“Actually… w-why don’t you come over to my house sometime? I have a lot of cards… that I don’t use, maybe we can do something with that?” This way, I can make her a deck and teach her how to use it without making her spend hundreds of bits on Ash Blossom and Ghost Ogre playsets like I did. Twilight nodded.

“Okay, that works I guess. I still want to get my own cards eventually, but if you’ve got a lot, it should help me get more familiar with them at least.”

I tried very hard and failed to contain the big smile on my face. Who knew that getting hit in the face with a bass was what would finally make me friends? I thought everypony was like Trixie all this time, Applejack being the exception and not the rule. I always knew there were other weirdos like me out there, but I never believed they were so close to home…

“Great!” I think I yelled in her face. The look she gave me made me want to run and hide. I think my wings flared out unintentionally too and that just made this all worse. Even the other fillies looked at me funny and I just wanted to escape. Oh goddess, what’s wrong with me? Why can’t you be normal you stupid, stupid filly? This is why nopony likes you! This is why Trixie picks on you!

“Yeah… sure. Why don’t we do that on Saturday or something? I usually don’t have things going on over the weekend… provided something weird doesn’t happen again.” The other girls put their Clicks away and the classroom went very silent.

Why is nopony saying anything? Did I miss something?

“Didn’t you say the last one happened on Monday?” Rainbow asked eventually. Last one? What are they talking about? Twilight nodded.

“Yeah. It was just as weird as when you got hit, but maybe even more so. Rarity got swallowed by the shadow beast, and when she pulled her out of the thing’s head, which I won’t even begin to question, she also brought a new guitar out too. The thing is shaped like a diamond and has these really sharp edges to it, so I can only wonder what that’s all about. Ugh, I shudder to think how things would’ve gone if she hit any of us with that one instead.”

Oh, this must be about the Motor Mare. Another one? Does she mean that thing that almost ate Trixie? Are there more of those?

“Huh. You guys keep telling me about this stuff and I wish I could’ve seen it to be honest. It sounds so metal.” Dash looked on like she was imagining the scene in her head.

If only she knew how scary all of that was. Before Twilight got… eaten or whatever, it didn’t look like the Motor Mare could do it. Now that I think about it, why did Twilight get eaten? Could that happen to anypony, or is there something that makes her special? She had wings when she merged with that white pony, it was almost like she became an alicorn or something. And what was that white pony? It was almost like it was made of plastic, something like a mannequin, but… it moved. Why is it that the moment somepony takes interest in me for the first time in my life that all this weird shit starts happening? Twilight shook her head.

“No, you don’t. That thing was fucking terrifying. Ugh, just remembering all those teeth makes my skin crawl. And the one that ate Rarity was just as bad. You know that doll in the lab room that’s like, half a pony on one side, but shows the innards and blood vessels and stuff on the other side?” Dash nodded.

“Oh, yeah. I think Mrs. Rich called him ‘Muscle Mass’, didn’t she?” I raised my eyebrows. Geez, I’ve been going here all my life and seen that doll a thousand times and never knew it had a name. I guess she actually pays attention. Sigh. One more thing to add to the list of things other ponies are better at. The ever growing, ever expanding list.

“Yeah, that’s the one. Well, imagine him, but all black and moving around and missing pieces inconsistently. That’s what these things tend to look like. And also kinda shadow-y. It’s weird to describe. I’m not sure I know the words for that.” Rainbow shrugged.

“Eh. There seems to be a pattern here, so maybe I’ll get to see the next one. Let’s get outta here. Dad’s supposed to be making carrot dogs tonight, and I don’t want to miss that.” After everypony agreed and I put my cards away in my bag, careful not to crush Angel while I did, we left the girl’s school. Twilight and Dash kept talking along the way, and before we got to the road where I needed to turn to go get my brother, I heard the sound of a motorcycle pull up beside us.

“Wow, look at you. I daresay somepony has made some friends.” I gasped. I felt my heart start racing. The golden light of the afternoon sun draping over her in the shining orange hues of a mare not of this world. Her mane was wet and glistening, her back hooves propped up on the handlebars, somehow driving the motorcycle like that, while her front hooves were behind her head as she relaxed casually on the bike like this was nothing to her. Her beautiful amethyst eyes like deep pools of crystal, their golden spots reflecting like petals on the surface on a lake.

“Imagine that! Maybe I’m not as socially inept as you think I am, and I might even be likeable to some ponies!” Twilight shot back. Pinkie made a mocking snort before she could contain it and Dash turned away from her too, desperately trying to hide a smirk. Twilight scowled at them both. “Oh, fuck you both.” Dash failed to hold a chuckle and said,

“I thought we went over this, I’m not into mares Twilight.” She groaned and stomped on ahead.

“Wow, coulda fooled me! See? This is why I don’t go out of my way to talk to ponies. Ponies are assholes.” The Motor Mare, Pinkie and Dash all laughed, then the big white mare sped up… somehow, I still wasn’t sure how the bike was being ridden at all with her magic inactive, and scooped the filly up. She laid her on her stomach and ran her hooves down the filly’s body and whispered in her ear,

“Oh come now Twilight, ponies aren’t all bad…” I felt myself salivate and my face heat up. Oh goddess what is she doing? What is she about to do? C-could she do that to me? No! No! No! Stop it! Oh goddess, she could do that to me! But would she?

“Aah! S-stop it♥ W-what are you doing to me? D-don’t… don’t touch me there!”

Holy shit! Don’t say that! This is just like my trashy romance anime, but it’s happening right in front of me! Aaaah! I felt my lower body reacting to the scene and suddenly my knees buckled. My wings flared open and everypony was looking at me. Then, those eyes caught mine. The amethyst gems sprinkled with gold, laughing pools boring deep within me, looking at me like they knew exactly what my dirty mind was thinking and telling me, ‘This could all be yours. All you have to do is ask♥’

“Eep!” I squeaked and took to the air as fast as I could. “I-I just remembered that I-I have to go pick up my l-little brother, b-bye!” Oh goddess, what’s wrong with me?

It was clear today, but it was rainy the day before, and it was supposed to be rainy all weekend. I passed a little pool of water on my way to the elementary school, and my face was just as red as I thought it was. I kept shifting my hips and trying to press my thighs together harder to stop the itch, but the burning just wouldn’t go away. It demanded my hoof to remedy itself, but I couldn’t just abandon Zephyr and go home to indulge my awful habit.

She’s a mare you stupid filly! She shouldn’t make you feel like this! Those comics you draw are bad enough with all the colts, but now… now there’s somepony you can touch that makes you feel this way… she’s real… she’s right there. If you had asked, would she have even said no? Gah! Stop it, stop it, stop it! She’s way older than you are, she could be older than Mrs. Rich! That’s illegal! But… if we’re both mares… No!

The argument went on and on until I reached the elementary school on the other side of town. I usually fly straight here from school… in the event Trixie doesn’t make me do something… Ugh, I hope he doesn’t think I did just abandon him and go home. It’s not like crime is something that happens often here, but the hit and runs are still scaring ponies… even if I know who did them now. What if mom and dad think we got ran over and left for dead? Oh goddess, what have I done? I should’ve left immediately! Why did I play that stupid game? I hope he’s still here…

The need to scratch the itch drowned in worry, I flew as fast as I could to the entrance, only to be relieved when he was there talking with one of his friends. Zephyr was always more social than I was, so it was more of a surprise that I was with ponies today than anything.

“Oh, there she is. Hey! What took ya so long?” I sighed and sank to the ground.

“I met some ponies today. One of them had cards so we played a game and I lost track of time. I’m sorry.” The other colts and fillies around him dispersed after a bit and we started to head toward the house. In truth, it only takes me fifteen minutes to fly to school myself, but because Zephyr is still too young for a long distance or quick flight, we typically walk home together. Not that it takes but ten minutes to get home from the elementary on hoof anyways.

“Ya know, mom called me asking where we were.” Oh goddess, I knew it! I never should’ve played the game, I should’ve gotten Zephyr first!

“I told her one of my friends wanted to learn our card game, so we’d be home when we finished.” That struck me.

“Oh… did you now?” Why would he lie to mom? Has he done this before? Why didn’t she call me?

“Yeah. Mom said she tried to call you but didn’t get an answer. I figured you might’ve finally met somepony or got caught up by that one girl you hate.”

That’s why. She did call me. I let my head droop and sighed, dragging my mane along the sidewalk as I did. I really do need to cut this soon. I turned to open my backpack, and after Angel climbed on my back, I found my phone and saw the notification. Yep, she did call me, and I didn’t notice because I was playing with Twilight. Good job. You are the worst pony. Angel grabbed at my mane, and then I watched him point at his open mouth.

“Oh, I’m sorry sweetie. I’ve been such a mess today, I just don’t know what to do with myself.” I reached in my bag and opened my lunchbox to get his baby carrots. Once he had a few and was satisfied, I put the box away and continued on. Underhoof was probably a little more wet than I was right now, and today was the one day we’d get of the sun for the week. Rain here is pretty common, what with the lakes all around and the mountains to the west trapping most of the weather on this side.

“Has… he always been black? And wasn’t he smaller before?” Zephyr asked. I turned to look back at the bunny and I wasn’t sure. I woke up Saturday morning and noticed his color changed, but he’d been shedding a lot lately, and I figured it was just him growing. But the actual growth I’ve noticed has also been more than usual. A week ago, he could sit relatively comfortably on my hoof. These days, he’s almost the size of a small cat. I had to take one of dad’s duffle bags to school today just so he could come. He hates being left at home, so I always bring him and take care of him through the day.

“Maybe. He was white before, but he has been shedding a lot lately. It could just be a growth spurt. They expect you to get a whole lot bigger before you’re my age, even bigger than I am. It could be like that.” The little green colt shrugged and puffed at the blonde mane over his eyes. He needs his mane cut too.

“Weird. But then again, lots of weird stuff has been happening. We were talking about astrology today, which I learned is what they call studying stars, and the teacher said that the Queen wants to… ee-vack-you-ate the planet in the next couple years.” Huh? I eyed the little pink eyed colt. He doesn’t normally lie when talking about class, so what’s all this about a planetary evacuation?

“What do you mean? Are you saying she wants everypony to leave the planet? Like, in spaceships or something?” Zephyr nodded.

“Yeah! Miss Raven says that the… the… gov-vern-ment has been planning this for a while. She said that Discord’s comet is supposed to be off course for some reason, and next time it passes it’s gonna clip the earth and cause a cat… kata… kat-ta-kliz-mick event. The moon is supposed to be safe though, and the colony projects are already working, so that’s what she’ll do once the big arks are ready.”

Since when is cataclysmic a third-grade vocabulary word? More importantly, why does his teacher know about this? What in the world would some random middle-aged mare in Underhoof have of value to somepony like the Queen? Is she just some kind of crackpot conspiracy theorist ranting off to foals because she can? Maybe I should tell dad about this…

“Um… that’s… interesting? Maybe keep that one to yourself, hmm? Sometimes, adults don’t always tell you the truth, and sometimes they do it for no reason. I’m not sure why she would tell you that, but I… don’t exactly think that’s true.” Zephyr’s face contorted into the confused face a nine-year-old would make when being told contradictory information and went silent.

“Oh…” While Zephyr contemplated that to the best of his abilities, I contemplated the ominous words myself.

I suppose it’s not impossible for her to know something, she is married to a major on the air base, but why would she tell foals that? And why wouldn’t the queen be pushing this harder if she knew about it? Isn’t a world destruction level event kind of a good time to put the powers of government to use? I know we haven’t gone over the powers and the documents made to limit what she can do in class yet, but… if it’s cataclysmic, why does everything feel so… normal?

“Oh, there you are. Goodness, I was about ready to go out and search the entire town for you. It’s not like you to be this late,” mom said as we walked in the door. Zephyr galloped into her and almost bowled her over, while I took my sketchbook and lunch box out of my bag and hung it up on the rack.

“I-I’m sorry, that was my fault. I got caught up playing a game…” before I could say anything else, mom ran up and almost bowled me over.

“You were playing a game with somepony!? And this was like, a real, in the flesh pony, right? Not one of those online ponies?” I nodded and she squeezed me tighter. “Ooh, I’m so proud of you! My little girl made a friend!”

Fact: I am bigger than most ponies. I’m absurdly tall for a thirteen-year-old, and this is inverse to my disposition as I hate being the center of attention. I spend most of my time online, I draw… admittedly lewd comics, and any and all social interaction I do is with ponies across the world I’ve never seen and know nothing about.

Fact: I get my height from my mother, who is also a giant. She’s at least a couple hands taller than every other mom I’ve seen at school, and the only pony I know of that’s bigger than her is Applejack’s older brother, who is bigger than everypony. In… lots of ways… And now that the Motor Mare has shown up, she’s even bigger than him! I always thought it would be… amazing to have Mac push me against a wall and… but she’s… bigger… Oh goddess, that’s what it is, isn’t it?

“Oh goodness, I’m not hurting you am I? Your face is all flushed and you’re breathing hard. Are you okay sweetie?” My hind knees slammed together and I wormed my way out of mom’s grasp.

“NO! I-I mean, n-no ma’am. I uh… I’m gonna go to my room now. Come, Angel.” The black bunny finished his carrot and then hopped up my wing to my back. I trotted to my room slowly as the shame started to creep up my back. What’s wrong with me? Why am I like this? I never did find the answer to that. My fear is that I never will. Stuck like this forever, my dirty fantasies getting in the way of real life and keeping me as some recluse drawing porn as wild as I can imagine and praying to the goddess that my parents never get suspicious and find my passwords.

I sat in my chair while I petted Angel’s back and we watched an anime together, in hopes of getting my mind away from the big, overwhelming mare who could overpower me with one hoof and do things to me without my consent and… and… oh goddess, why am I like this? I had to have a computer because everypony else did. I had to have a phone because everypony else did. I had to go exploring online and follow a rabbit hole full of links until I found that site. I had to have that tablet because it would help me get better at art. I had to start practicing anatomy because that was what I didn’t like about my drawings. I had to draw everything because it would help me. No, I didn’t have to do anything. I didn’t have to have anything, I wanted it because I’m sick, and I have a problem.

When I was finally tired of the protagonist trying to explain away the bullshit of why he could dual wield swords in a game without a dual wielding system, or why he had all these mares around him and they all wanted in his pants even though he had a ‘marefriend,’ I opened up my drawing program and sighed.

Today will be different. I’ll start a new comic, and this one will be romance free, and it’ll just be cool. Ponies will like it because it looks good and not because they’re getting off to it, and I won’t have to go to that site again.

Or so I thought.

When I’d finally decided that I’d drawn Mac again and he was about to take the princess away to her bed chambers after saving her from the evil wizard, I realized that this ‘princess’ was just another excuse to draw a self-insert, and ‘insertion’ was exactly what was going to happen next. I hate myself. I hate the way I am, and I don’t know how to change. It always devolves into porn. A stallion always rescues the mare. The mare is always pretty, small, sociable and suffering until he shows up to save her, and her life is everything I wish I had and never will. I hate it all.

I saved the new pages and hid them away in my secret folder which was soon approaching ten gigs, another dart of shame in my board, and then shutdown the computer. I can’t afford new cards to feed my addiction if I don’t get bits, and as it turns out, ponies will pay through the snout for art like this. I just happen to be lucky and get good at it. I hate it. I love it. I want to stop. I can’t stop. I need help. I can’t tell anypony. I hate myself.

The castle was rumbling down below. When I looked on from my tower, I saw him. In shining red armor, the massive white mare charged through the Necromancer’s undead army. With a single swing of his giant emerald ax in his golden magic, the black skeletal army was cleaved in pieces. Bones flew in all directions, foot ponies and undead pegasai flew and attacked him, but none could pierce the massive stallion’s armor, and all were obliterated before his magical prowess and his gleaming ax. He worked his way through the room of the Necromancer’s court until finally, he came across the cult of the six and their leader, Ixetri, the necromancer queen.

“Who dare defies my rule!?” She bellowed out to the knight. Silent, the night slammed the tips of his double bit ax into the ground and held fast at the looming unicorn threat. The hooded ponies surrounded the knight as the necromancer queen cackled.

“I am Ixetri, the greatest and most powerful Necromancer to grace this land! Only a fool would dare challenge me! Kill him!”

The unicorns all prepared to fire their lasers at him, but then the knight did something strange. He stood on his hind legs and took the ax by the hilt. Enveloped in his gold magic, the ax changed shape from the emerald wood cutting tool to a glowing guitar. He ripped off his helmet and stared down the necromancer queen with a cocky smile on her face.

“Powerful? Great? No. You, are nothing.” She brought down her crimson armored hoof and strummed the guitar. The sound formed into golden sunlight, repelling the multicolored lasers of the necromancers and turning them back on the unicorns, blasting holes of burning light that ripped straight through their bodies. Realizing that this mare was far more powerful than Ixetri could ever be, she attempts to run.

“Now where do you think you’re going?” The red armored mare took the fleeing necromancer in her golden magic and shackled her to the floor. She looked up to me, those amethyst eyes piercing me to my very core and melting my heart.

“Princess, please, come down here! You are free of your bonds, Ixetri can’t hurt you now,” She said, her voice so commanding yet sweet. Compelled to do as she asked, I could feel my wings again and glided down to meet her in the courtroom below.

“You hate her, don’t you? Don’t you wish you could kill her? End her miserable life for making your life so miserable? Here, it’s all yours. You can do it. Right now.”

She gave me the guitar, which was much lighter than I expected it to be. As a matter of fact, it was easy to wield. Her golden magic enveloped it, and it turned back into that giant, double bit emerald ax. Ixetri pissed herself as she looked up at me in fear casually holding the giant weapon. I could feel the smile on my face start to grow

“Helpless, aren’t you? Fear got you paralyzed? It’s too bad. You could’ve been nicer to me. You didn’t have to be so mean. I never wanted to clean the classroom, but you made me do it! Over and over again, you blackmailed me, saying you’d tell my parents about my sketchbook! No more! Die!”

Before I could swing the ax, my knight grabbed both of my hooves and forced me against the wall. She was so big and strong, I had no hope of resisting. She looked deep into my eyes, and I looked into hers. They were almost laughing at me, I couldn’t understand… but then she pressed her lips against mine.

I was lost in the moment. Her warmth, her strength, her smell, her taste, I wanted to take it all in. I wanted more. So, so much more. In a flash of her gold we were back up in the tower. Her magic flashed again, and the dank old room turned into a fine decorated bedroom filled with violet velvet and gold silk, walls of white marble, bricks of onyx and everything done in ornate gold. Her armor disappeared in a flash, and then I could see her muscles. All of them bulging and rippling just beneath her fine silky white-pink coat. She picked me up by the neck and threw me on the bed. Before I even realized what happened, she was above me again, holding me down with one hoof.

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it? All you have to do is say the word♥”

“Oh goddess, yes, take me!” I screamed. She wrapped herself around me, and suddenly, my back was on her stomach and her hooves were traveling up and down my body. Her rough touch, her hard grip, the sheer strength of her legs holding me tight and making me completely helpless. I couldn’t squirm, I couldn’t move. She blew on my ear and sent a tingle down my spine. One of her hooves dug its way into my mouth, and then another found my chest. Slowly, slowly, ever so slowly it crept down my belly, and then… and then!

Angel was pulling on my mane. Somepony was knocking on my door.

“Fluttershy, dinner is ready!” Dad called.

I blinked a few times to try and regain my sight. What happened? I looked around my room, Angel was concerned, but I couldn’t figure out why. I tried to wipe at my eyes, but when my hoof caught me by surprise, I gasped and shivered. I pulled the sticky thing up from under my covers and stared at it in disgust. That is what happened. I felt my eyes start to water and I just wanted life to end.

“I hate myself.”

Twilight

“I cannot believe you did that to me in front of my friends!” I yelled at her. I threw my bag on the floor and fished out Shining’s cards. Celestia shrugged.

“Oh, come on, I was only using your body to tease somepony else. Besides, I’m not the only one who does that to you, am I right?” The white mare was smiling at me with that stupid cocky smile of hers. I glared at her and I turned back to my desk and dumped the cards out.

“It’s not as if I let her do that.” Before I even noticed, she’d sat down beside me and brought my head to hers.

“Yes, but it’s not as if you do anything to stop her either. Have you ever considered it might be a kindness to enforce your will in these situations? I know you care for her, but being codependent is unhealthy and erodes your soul. One day, you must learn to set boundaries, otherwise you’ll lose the illusion of control completely.”

Rather than fight it, I sat there with my ear next to hers and thought. On the rare occasion she does offer something insightful, Celestia is often right, to the surprise of many.

My relationship with Pinkie has always been complicated and strange, but it only became physical after Shining left. She does these things to me, but when I tell her no, she becomes so moody and unstable, it’s a question of which side of the coin she’ll land on. Hurt, crying, and depressed, or angry, violent, and also depressed. She hasn’t hit me, yet, but I’ve seen her bend metal poles on things when she gets like that, and I don’t know how to help her.

I want to help her. She is my oldest friend, and if I didn’t have her, I wouldn’t have had anypony after Shining left. I only started talking to Rarity by chance a few months ago, and now… it’s really like I do have a little circle of friends.

But at the same time… I haven’t spent any time with Pinkie lately. It seems like every day, she gets a little more distant from me and buries herself deeper in her games. I can still talk to her there, and Rainbow has managed to break through and get her to talk to her too, but… it doesn’t feel right anymore. She never talks about her problems any more, she just talks about her games or has nothing to say. I sighed and let myself lean on Celestia.

“I’m so tired. I always feel tired these days. If you looked at me in August and looked at me now, you might think my life had gotten better, but the only thing that I think has really changed is that I feel more exhausted every time I come home.” I turned my head slightly and narrowed my eyes at the big white mare. “And I can’t seem to escape to my lonesome at home either because somepony moved into my room!”

She tilted her head till her horn touched mine and smiled at me. That massive violet eye right up against mine, the weird familiarity I always felt when I saw it going off like a fire alarm in my head.

“Well, maybe I’ll just leave you alone sometime. Although, I seem to find that a little odd.” She backed away and started picking up cards until she found that one copy of Dark Magician Fluttershy is obsessed with and examined it. “I believe that our little contract ended a few days ago, yet I found somepony in my bed the last few nights. I can only wonder if somepony isn’t quite sure what she wants♥” I grabbed the card out of her magic and held it close.

“Hey! Piss off! That was your fault! You can’t just leave me after I’ve gotten used to sleeping so warm! I just… need… a heated blanket or something… I don’t know.”

In truth, I thinkI was beginning to fear her leaving. She’s a jackass. A slob. A drunk. Reckless. Constantly puts me and my friends in danger. Encourages bad behavior. But even through all that… sometimes, she acts like… like something I’ve never had in my life. Something I needed, something I always wanted, something I always dreamed about. And even with everything I hate about her… I don’t want to let that go.

I would never tell her, but when she disappeared the other day without telling anypony, I felt my heart ache. I thought she’d left. Dad has always said to just expect her to disappear one day, but I wasn’t ready for that. I still haven’t figured out what or who she is, or what she means to me, and when she was gone… I felt so afraid and lonely and small. I hated it so much that I wanted to cry. And when she finally came back, saying she got a part time job, I was so relieved. She’s still here, I still have her for a little longer. I hate it. I hate her. I don’t want her. But at the same time… I don’t know what I would do without her.

I stared at the card. It was Shining’s favorite. He forgot them when he left, and he still hasn’t come back. It’s been almost a year now, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again. It’s the same fear, but in reverse. It’s not that I’m afraid that I will lose him, I’m afraid I’ve already lost him. There’s only so much of his I have left, I can’t give it up. I put the card back on the desk and sighed. I opened up my laptop and went to that site Fluttershy told me about, the one where she buys all her cards. After a while and looking at the cards she said to look for that were relatively inexpensive, I finally broke the silence.

“Will you ever tell me how you met my dad?” Celestia made a sound of irritation out of the side of her mouth and got up. She opened the guitar case and picked out her bass. She started to strum that same lullaby again.

“This again… why do you want to know?” I shrugged and let out a breath.

“I don’t know, maybe I just want to know more about you? You literally dropped out of the sky and hit me in the face while calling me by somepony else’s name. You look like you’re two decades out of time, you’re literally bigger than anypony I’ve ever seen, you hit me with that thing, and now these monsters are coming out of my head, and Bramos came out too, and then he ate me, and I had all that power…

Rainbow was dead! She was dead, and together, we brought her back! How is that even possible!? I’ve never heard of magic like that, save for in legends of the lost queen! How did I do that? How did we do that? Who are you?”

The white unicorn stared at me with deadened eyes, an emotionless frown, and pure apathy. She tilted her head and blinked with that same dead expression. Slowly, she started to pick notes on her bass, never taking her deadened eyes off me, a dark rhythm of one minor note clashing against another in an anti-chromatic, almost chaotic chord.

“Have you ever thought that maybe knowing won’t do you any good? That maybe you aren’t told things for a reason? Things are withheld from you because you don’t have the mental facilities to hold this knowledge, nor do you have the wisdom to know what to do with it. When ponies like to get high and mighty, they quote the Goddess Tome, and in their arrogance, if only to the delight of the goddess, they say something profound without realizing it. There are things in this life that you cannot and will never understand. Science and magic will only take you so far, but in the end, truth requires faith, and faith cannot be understood.

Once you can wrap your little head around that concept, then I will tell you everything you want to know. About me, about your father, I can even tell you something that you’ve always wanted to know for your entire life. I know things that many in this world spend their entire lives pondering, and things that philosophers have spent generations trying to puzzle out of their little heads. I hold so much of this cursed information that I have even gone so far as to obtain the wisdom to use it. And you know what? That can drive a mare mad. It can cause her to see things that weren’t visible before, to feel things nopony else can feel, to understand on a plane that no pony else is capable of reaching.

The crippling loneliness, the maddening frustration, the overwhelming despair. In concert they organize to play the melody of madness, a terrifying tune that tortures tattered souls into suffering, sadness, and silence. Do not seek that which you do not need.” Celestia broke her gaze and struck an awful chord on the bass that nearly made me want to vomit just from hearing it. I felt sick. I could hear her words echoing in the inside of my head, all her sentences bouncing like mallets on timpani and sending out ripples of themselves all over my skull like water dripping into a pond.

Do not seek that which you do not need. There are things in this life that you cannot and will never understand. Do not seek that which you do not need. There are things in this life that you cannot and will never understand. Do not seek that which you do not need. There are things in this life that you cannot and will never understand. And then, like a beam of light cutting through fog, it all stopped at once.

“Twilight?” she called. My eyes focused and things were back to the way they were. Her hoof was on my chin, her face had returned to normal, and she was looking at me in a way I’d never seen before. It was almost… afraid.

“Yes?” I asked. I wasn’t sure what to do. It almost felt like the sound was making me sick.

“Oh, thank the goddess.” Relief washed over her, and then I felt a sudden… strange sensation and turned my head toward the window. It was gone as fast as it came, but when I turned back to her, she… looked scary. Her face was… contorted in this awful, hateful snarl. Almost like some kind of beast running into another of its kind deep in its territory, or a mother bear staring down a hunter.

“C-celestia?” Instantaneously, she went back to a chipper, happy, aloof mood, as if a switch had been flipped and shook her head.

“Oh, I’m sorry dear. I just… thought I smelled a rat. Why don’t… we go over some chords? You still wanted to learn, didn’t you?” Celestia took the crystal guitar from the black case and levitated it to me. I hesitated at first, but then took the guitar.

If questions get me… whatever the hell that was, then letting her teach me something is much, much better.

“I can’t believe you got me out here on such an awful day,” I complained. Applejack shrugged in the driver’s seat of the mini truck, shaking her pigtails off her shoulders.

“Come on, it’s Underhoof, Twi. The weather is nice on a rare occasion, and fog this thick is par fer the course. Y’all should know that, ya’ve lived here longer than Ah have.” I rolled my eyes and sighed.

“Yes, yes I have… so like, what do the two of you even do in gardening club?” The ATV rolled over a rock that threatened to launch me out of my seat, but Applejack was quick to catch my shoulder and keep me in the cart.

“Goddess damn, you and Applebloom both, Ah swear. Put yer fuckin’ seat belt on already!”

That was scary enough for me to actually take the itchy thing across my chest and clip it to the buckle. I hate these things. They always wrinkle my clothes. Or in this case, my t-shirt since it was Saturday. I don’t wear ‘normal clothes’ very often since I usually just slum around in my uniform, but I’ve adopted most of my brother’s hoof-me-downs and going out called for clothes, especially with as cold as it’s been. Today was a white shirt with his cutiemark on it, the dark blue shield with a pink six-pointed star inside, and baggy jeans. Applejack was wearing something similar, but her shirt was red and had a green apple split in half on it, along with an old stetson she puts on after school.

“He he… sorry.” Applejack rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, well, y’all will be when ya fall out and break yer damn neck! Fer ponies so smart, y’all sure are fuckin’ dumb,” she grumbled. I put my head down and clicked my hooves together. Being able to hold the knowledge is one thing, but having the wisdom to use it is another…

“Typically, we just take care of the plants and then Fluttershy tells me whatever’s on her mind. Some new cartoon that came out this season, another animal she helped, her pet rabbit she has with her all the time, rantin’ about whatever Trixie made her do this week because she’s too much of a pussy ta stand up fer herself, stuff like that. Ah’ll use the time ta complain about my siblin’s or Pappy every now and again since she’ll listen and won’t preach at me like Rarity does. Rarity’s a better conversational partner, but she gets on my damn nerves sometimes.

Fluttershy’ll just let ya talk. ‘Course, sometimes she’ll draw some of that weird art she does of ya if she likes ya. It’s not bad, but Ah’m almost certain she does explicit artwork based on some of the shit I’ve seen on Rarity’s phone. Ah absolutely hate ya fer makin’ me aware of that by the way. Now she shares it with me. That gal appears normal, but don’t go lookin’ through her browser history, Ah tell ya what. Some fucked up shit in there. And let me tell ya, Shy hates Trixie somethin’ fierce. Ah ain’t never heard somepony so shy use language as creatively as she does ta describe all the ways she’d kill a pony. If she had like, any semblance of a spine, I’d be afraid she might even do it someday.” I contemplated that.

“Huh. So you just… spend five minutes doing work, then spend the other fifty five talking?” I asked. Applejack nodded.

“In at least a similar way that you and Pinkie have that weird gay shit goin’ on, Ah’ve kinda got somethin’ like that with Fluttershy, ‘cept Ah’m not anywhere close ta interested in mares. And she really, really, wants ta screw my brother. Ah’ve seen a few of her comics and he’s always the stallion in it. Course, she don’t know that Ah know, so don’t tell her. Ah don’t legitimately think she has the spine ta make a move, but man, she is gonna make some stallion happy someday. She’s a freak. Anyways, Ah was the only pony she ever talked ta is all Ah was really meanin’.” I blushed and turned away.

Okay so maybe that’s not as much of a secret as I’d like it to be.

“Um… ‘weird gay shit?’” I asked. Applejack gave me a look.

“Oh, come on, my big brother is a stud, Ah know what a hickey looks like. Ah screw with him about ‘em all the time. Pretty sure he’s gotten his dick wet at least once by now, bitches just fall on him. Ah also know what it looks like when a pony’s got a mare they don’t want around stuck ta ‘em. So, what’s the deal? Are y’all a thin’?”

This is not at all a conversation I wanted to have today. I scratched at my head.

“Oh, goddess, I have no idea. It’s… complicated, alright? I’ve been friends with Pinkie for a long time. She’s always kinda been like this, but… well, before, it was all directed toward my brother. She was… happier then, a lot bubblier. You know, her mane used to be curly. Her family is… weird, and she’s just not at all like them. I don’t even know what all is going on there.

But… well, years ago, there was a fire at the elementary school we went to. I hadn’t met Pinkie yet, but during the evacuation, she was trapped in the building when it was caught up in the blaze. The little fire department hadn’t arrived yet, and since nopony else could do it, my brother used his magic to walk through the flames and carry her out. Shining was now her idol, and from that day on, she followed him around everywhere he went.

He was… my brother is amazing. A magical prodigy, so gifted that he was scouted by Canterlot University last year and has a free ride there in their magic program. But… that’s also when the trouble started. Pinkie was… weird for a few days after we found out that he was leaving. And then she was happy again, and stuck to him even more. Then he left, and Pinkie… lost her color. She became a different pony entirely and she was… stuck like that for a long time.

I don’t remember when it first happened, but I was with her one day, and she said she couldn’t do it anymore. She was going to ‘give herself to Inferna’ or something because she couldn’t take it anymore. It was all too much, and the light in her life was gone. Naturally, I thought she meant she was going to immolate herself, so I tried my damnedest to get her to not do that. Eventually, she asked me to be her light, and when I said I would, she said she wouldn’t go through with it. It started happening thereafter, and I just… I still haven’t figured out if me telling her no will push her over the edge. I really don’t know what else to do, so… that’s just how it is.” Applejack frowned and unbuckled her seat belt.

“Well. Hell, good luck with that. Ha! Geez, complicated is a simple way ta put it, goddess damn. Ah take it back, y’all… y’all are goin’ through a lot fer her, and that’s noble. Admirable, even. Well, let’s get on up there, Ah bet Fluttershy is wonderin’ where we are.” We took not but two steps away from the ATV before I felt somepony standing next to me. I turned and looked up to see my house guest suddenly at my side.

“Excuse me, what the fuck?” Celestia patted my head and looked left and right, scanning the fog carefully. It was exceptionally thick today, and I’m certain Applejack wouldn’t have hit that rock earlier if she could see it.

“Yeah, just… don’t worry about it. Pretend I’m not here. Or do, I don’t care. I won’t be here long.” I let a breath out and stared at her thinking of some way to berate her for her… strange silent approaches, but I couldn’t think of anything.

“Whatever. Let’s go.”

“So he tells me, ‘Y’all should be nicer ta yer sister. Ya’d think after yer Pa died ya’d get that life is short, but yer dumb ass is just like yer mother’s dumb ass, and that ain’t come across just yet, now has it!?’ Ah mean, yeah, maybe Ah should know better, but that’s no reason ta beat me over the head with Pa’s death like that. It’s not like Ah was actually tryin’ ta hurt her or anythin’, we were just screwin’ around, ya know?”

I scratched at my face. I don’t have a younger sibling, so this was a little strange to hear. Dad has never reprimanded me like that, but I’ve never been in a situation like that either.

“Well, life is short. For you, anyways. Longest I’ve ever seen is about one hundred ten years, but ponies are such miserable piles of skin and bones by the time they hit ninety-five, I couldn’t imagine having to go on another fifteen years like that. And that was long before medicine is what it is today. If your corrupted culture wasn’t shit, ponies might actually live even longer, not that it would do anypony any good. I haven’t been here in a while, but for suicide to be this much more pervasive in our country in just two decades is absurd…” Celestia said, absentmindedly of course. I don’t know what her deal is, but she’s been weird all day.

She’ll respond to things we say, more often than not with knowledge that I’m not sure how she has, and sometimes with things I’m not sure she means to say. The whole medicine and age thing just now being a prime example. How does she know that? She’s massive, yes, but I couldn’t imagine she’s much older than thirty at best based on her appearance, and she almost looks a decade younger than dad. It’s true, I’ve never seen a pony as big as she is, and unicorns are supposed to be middle of the way as far as height and weight go for the three tribes, but that could just mean she’s an anomaly.

That said, how she could be thirty and have no cutiemarks also doesn’t make sense, but based on that feather from last week, I can only imagine there’s magic at play when it comes to her appearance, but that just makes the list of questions I have even longer. Her capacity for magic is unreal. She’s more powerful than any unicorn I’ve ever read about, especially if she’s passively modifying her appearance in her sleep, but even if she is some time-lost, age-old unicorn from some legend… why is she here? Though… after what she said yesterday… I’m not sure I should ask at all. In two different ways, I found myself afraid of her, but… I can’t place why.

“O-oh, I see,” Fluttershy stuttered. Applejack said she was usually fairly talkative here in her ‘safe space,’ but as far as I can tell, she’s been even more quiet than usual, which is saying something. I’ll catch her give Celestia the odd side glance every now and again, but the expression she makes… in a strange way, reminds me of Pinkie when she…

I shook my head. No, there’s no way. Instead of following that rabbit hole, I figured I’d ask Fluttershy what she was doing. She keeps checking the plants, turning them and inspecting them, spraying them with a sweet smelling spray bottle every now and again, and sometimes ninja-grabbing bugs out of midair and tossing them outside. I was thoroughly confused.

“So… what are you doing there, Fluttershy? I’m less familiar with plants than I am physical activity and I think we all know how awful I am at sports…”

That broke Celestia’s misplaced focus and she finally looked at me. She grabbed hold of my closest foreleg, straightened it out, pressed on my muscles, moved it back and forth, and then tilted her head at me.

“What? Why would you say that? Your body should be perfectly capable of out classing everypony, that doesn’t…” Celestia put a hoof under her horn, then brought it to her chest and clapped. “Ah that’s right. Never mind, carry on,” she dismissed. And then back out of the green house she stared. I looked to Applejack and to Fluttershy, and together we looked at her. When she never looked back, we just kinda… shook our heads and did as we were told.

“I’m checking for signs of rot, infestation, wilting, stuff like that. You need to be careful with some of these flowers, they don’t particularly like the climate Underhoof has, and anything that can upset them has the potential to kill them.” Applejack nodded and leaned back to take hold of some bush behind her.

“Yeah. This here is a little raspberry plant. So, it’s pretty ta look at, the berries always taste good and they smell fantastic, someponies even use the leaves ta make tea since they’re so similar ta black tea. This particular variety is called Fall Gold, and they bear fruit in the fall, obviously, which are bright yellow, sometimes kinda orangey. But this plant right here? She’s a right bitch, Ah tell ya what. We’ve killed at least four of these thin’s just tryin’ ta find the right raspberry plant just fer this climate, and even then we have ta prune, check fer bugs, pick the berries, goddess forbid she’s got berries on her fer more than five minutes, and make sure nothin’ else is in her pot because she don’t like ta share her space. Damn thin’s also got thorns, so she’ll cut ya if yer movin’ too quick.” Applejack explained.

Suddenly, Celestia looked up, turned toward the plant, narrowed her eyes, and then, turned on her magic. Buried deep in the plant, a golden berry flew out from beneath the leaves, covered in golden aura. She dropped it in my lap and then went back to surveying the fog.

“Son of a bitch, we did miss one!” Applejack exclaimed. Celestia shook her head.

“No, that’s a relatively new bud. It’s been there for maybe a week based on the age.”

I hold so much of this cursed information that I have even gone so far as to obtain the wisdom to use it. Rather than bother with that, I instead picked up the berry and examined it myself. In the light of the UV lamps, it was very pretty. Not quite opaque, giving the little gold bubbles a sort of ‘balloon’ look to them, and the moisture from when Fluttershy misted these earlier gave a sort of shine to the skin that just made it look absolutely delicious.

“We used to call those Sun Berries. Bright and golden, dependent on the sun for life and treasuring her warmth, the berries would sprout in the spring and the fall right around the equinoxes. But every now and again, you would sometimes find a crop of the sweetest of the little golden bunches right on the longest day of the year. He always loved to see them then.” Celestia’s voice was… melancholic. There was something in there like she was not only reminiscing, but… longing for the past. A wish for days gone by. Suddenly, Fluttershy’s wings shot out from her side and she stood up quickly with her hind knees pressed together.

“I-I need to go to the bathroom! I’ll be right back!” And out the greenhouse and down the staircase from the roof she went. I looked to Applejack, and she just shrugged and shook her head.

“Yeah, ya got me, Ah just don’t know what goes on in that filly’s head sometimes.” Applejack took up the spray bottle and started moving around the greenhouse with the plants, when suddenly, I felt something strange in the back of my head. It was the same sensation from yesterday, but it lasted a little longer this time. Like a pulse from a sonar, it felt like a wave searching for something to bounce the signal back. I turned toward the raspberry plant since the signal felt like it was from behind, but as I noticed it, so did Celestia. She got up from her seat and scowled in that same direction.

“I need to go take care of something. I’ll see you at home.” And just like that, Celestia left.

“So uh… any idea what that was?” Applejack asked. I frowned.

“Didn’t you feel it?”

“Feel what?”

“The pulse!”

“What pulse?”

“There was definitely a pulse, I think she knew what it was.”

“Okay, is that a unicorn thing or…?”

“No, but it was definitely magic. Well, maybe? I guess anything that’s ‘magic’ would be a unicorn thing, wouldn’t it?”

“Ah mean, Ah guess? Ah don’t know that Ah would know it even if Ah felt it.” I rolled my eyes and sighed. What was that?

“It was weird for sure. But then again, everything has been weird since she showed up, so I guess this is just another thing.” Applejack scratched at her face and reclined against the glass wall.

“Ah guess. Speakin’ of, Ah never did get it outta ya what in the hell that thin’ with Rarity was. Care ta explain?” Just then, I noticed Fluttershy exit the roof staircase. Her mane was a little wet, like she’d put it back in place and she looked… relieved.

“Oh… did the Motor Mare leave?” she asked. We nodded.

“Something came up and she had to go. Not that I know what it was, but that’s just how she is,” I explained. Fluttershy nodded and then unzipped her backpack. From within, she took out a large, live, black bunny and a plastic bag full of baby carrots. Applejack frowned and tilted her head.

“Is that Angel?” Fluttershy nodded.

“Yep. I woke up one morning and he was just… like this. Though, he was smaller earlier this week I think. Maybe it’s a growth spurt. I started giving him organic carrots instead of the other ones because somepony mentioned they were better for you, but I wasn’t expecting such drastic results.”

I squinted at the bunny. It was black. Very black. Almost like darkness itself, but with clear outlines of where its limbs were. And red eyes. And not in the, ‘oh, it just has big pupils and you’re seeing the back of the eye’ way, but in the, ‘this is a demon’ kinda way. It squeaked and… purred? At Fluttershy’s touch, so I guess nothing was wrong, but goddess damn, does it look evil.

“That little bastard looks evil. Though, Ah guess it’s still Angel.” Applejack parroted my thoughts while she was petting the bunny. At her touch too, it reacted affectionately.

“Do you want to pet him? He’s very friendly,” Fluttershy offered. Tentatively, I did pet the bunny, and just like the other girls, it brushed against my hoof and rubbed back at me with its back, seeming to enjoy my touch. It was very soft and warm, like a little fuzzy bag of reheated veggies, or microwave mashed potatoes with a little recoil to them.

“Huh. So he is. With all the weird shit that’s been going on lately, I’m still trying to remember what normal is.”

I put my hoof back in my lap and I thought about it all. Three weeks ago, I just thought this is what life was going to be like. Pinkie was always on me, I talk to Rarity on occasion, I get mad at Dad, Shiny never comes home, and I accidentally find that my cutiemark is something to do with books and end up as a librarian somewhere. With every passing day, the future I thought I would have looks more and more impossible than it did from the beginning.

“It does concern me that he has been growing so rapidly, but I’m not sure what to do about it. I already bought the two-pound bag of carrots, and I don’t want to throw them away, but I’m already taller than I wish I was, so I don’t want to risk eating them myself and growing like he is.”

I mean, okay, but I have doubts that the carrots are causing this.

“Shy, Ah know ya ain’t dumb, but Ah really don’t think the carrots are causin’ this. If ya ask me, Ah think this is some kinda sketchy magic at work. Ya know, Ah didn’t wanna say nothin’ around her, but ever since she showed up, Ah’ve been seein’ thin’s Ah don’t remember bein’ there before. Like, when Ah hit Applebloom with the pear the other day, Ah thought she had some kinda bug or somethin’ on her face and Ah thought it was gonna hurt her. Ah’ve seen a few of ‘em now, but everypony Ah ask about it says they aren’t there. Ah was startin’ ta wonder if Ah’m crazy or not, but then Ah saw a few of ‘em take a pear away and Applebloom said she saw the pear float away. So unless she’s crazy too, they’re really there and nopony else can see ‘em.”

…To see things that weren’t visible before, to feel things nopony else can feel…

I shuddered.

“I… think I believe you.” Applejack frowned.

“Really? Ah wouldn’t believe me, that sounds like some looney talkin’ if we’re bein’ honest here.” I shook my head.

“No, I don’t think you’re crazy either. Something is definitely going on, and she’s at the center of it all, but I don’t know if she’s the cause or an effect of what’s happening.” We all considered that for a while until Fluttershy broke the silence.

“Well, why don’t we lay out what we know? When I go to um… well, I don’t know if anypony has told you, but I draw comics sometimes and um… well… anyways, I always lay out what I want to do and then put all the pieces together where I want them to go. Sometimes I’ll start with the… a, um… specific scene, and then put a beginning and end to it, or vice-versa.”

She sounded comfortable at first, but then slowly drew into her little white dress as she got into more detail about what she did, withholding information and eventually she was hidden beneath her wings. Regardless of the truth of what she draws, she has a point and I thought it was a good idea.

“Yeah… So, what’s today?” I asked. Applejack took out her ancient flip phone from her jeans and said,

“October 19th.” I nodded.

“So, Celestia first appeared two Fridays ago, which would be… the 4th. She hit several ponies that day with her bike and bass, and then later that night, the first Shadow Beast came out of my horn.” Applejack tilted her head.

“So, wait. Did y’all get hit on Friday too?” I nodded, but Fluttershy also nodded. I didn’t know about her attack.

“You were hit too?” Fluttershy confirmed and then let her eyes fall to Angel.

“It was that Friday morning. I don’t have much to recall, but I was walking along after dropping my little brother off at school when I heard a strange sound. It wasn’t like a car, but it was an engine of some kind, and there was music blaring with it. I remember the lyrics so clearly…

‘Your dreams aren’t fulfilled, by anyone else,

It just comes along, like a gale out of the blue

Even without flying, I’m not insecure,

The ground is following right behind me

So let’s go, to that place we love

And if you’re here with me, I think we’ll make it.’

It was almost like the song was for me, but when I turned to see who was playing it, I got hit in the face really hard by something green. I woke up at the school a few minutes later, and it was like nothing happened.”

Today I learned, Fluttershy has an amazing singing voice. Wasn’t there music playing when she came after us too? I feel like I would remember what was being said, but I just can’t recall…

“Huh. Ya know, now that Ah think about it, there was music playin’ when she hit me, too. She was drivin’ along the road after Mac had dropped me off by the gates, and fer a minute there, Ah thought she sounded…” Applejack shook her head. “Anyways, she was singin’ along with whatever was playin’, and before Ah even knew what happened, she turned on a dime and drifted the bike in range of me and slammed that guitar in the side of my head. Somethin’ about hooves… the song was about. Ah think.”

For a moment there, I think I saw… sadness on her face. It hit for a second, but it was gone just as quick. From what little conversation we’ve had together, I always thought she was more mature than anypony else my age, but… maybe she really is just as young as we are.

“So… the three of us were hit by the guitar, and since Rarity and I saw Rainbow get hit, and Pinkie and I saw each other get hit, it’s safe to assume we were all hit by the guitar, and while a song was playing. Oh! You know what was weird about the fight with the last one that came out of Rarity’s head? Her mom shot it with a gun, but the bullet didn’t do anything to it.” Applejack tilted her head.

“Oh yeah… why didn’t that work?” I thought back, and I remember Celestia saying something about it. Don’t you know what that thing is? Get a clue. On second thought, that doesn’t actually help me at all.

“That is… a good question. Obviously the guitars affect them, they all fell to one of the two she has. Magic also seems to work, I remember shooting a light beam at the second one. Don’t ask me how I did that, it was much more advanced and specific than anything I can conjure on my own, but Bramos gives me power I’ve never thought possible, so there’s that. And wings. It is a very strange feeling.”

They both stared at me and I straightened my lips.

“So, something I was wondering after that day last week, is it just you that can do that? Or is it anypony that um… Bramos is the white pony, right?” I nodded and Fluttershy continued, “Well, can anypony merge with him? Or are you special?”

It certainly does feel… interesting when it happens. It’s almost like I’m controlling something and not actually part of my own body. And every now and again, I can hear somepony give me instructions on how to use my power, but it’s almost like the voice doesn’t have a voice to it. Unspecific words spoken by the wind with no sound to them. It always calls me by name too…

“I… wouldn’t be able to tell you, but I don’t know that we could test that. I’m not sure how to describe how that all works. It’s… very, very strange.”

We sat in silence for a long time, I’m not sure how long it was really, and with no sun to gauge the sky by, it was like no time had passed at all. Applejack’s phone rang, and it was like the spell was broken.

“Huh? Oh, really? Damn, Ah’m sorry Mac. Yeah, Ah’ll head home now. Lost track of time Ah guess. See ya.” Applejack put the cheap little thing away and sighed. “Yeah, we’ve been here fer like, two and a half hours. Ah gotta git. Sorry, y’all are gonna have ta walk home. See ya.” After a wave goodbye, Applejack bolted back into the school building, and less than a minute later, she was in the mini-truck and driving down the road.

“Oh my. We have been here for a while. My parents are probably worried. I’m sorry Twilight, I brought my cards and completely forgot about them. Maybe we could do something tomorrow?” Fluttershy asked. In truth, I forgot about that too.

“Don’t worry about it, I didn’t remember either. With Celestia acting so weird these last couple days, I’ve had a lot on my mind. But yeah, just give me a call and I’ll head that way when you have time. My dad and I have never been very religious, so I shouldn’t have anything going on then.”

“I-I see. Well, service usually ends around noon, so I should be free by two at the latest. My family usually makes a habit of going and then having lunch together afterward. I’ll… I’ll let you know.” I don’t know if I just made her more nervous or what, but she drew into herself again and avoided eye contact.

After we gathered our things and Angel was securely between her shoulders, Fluttershy locked up the greenhouse and we exited the building. We made it as far as downtown, and then went our separate ways.

In all honesty, I never really expected to learn anything today. Everything is a question and the mare at the center of it all is a wall that doesn’t see it fit to answer anything. Too young to understand, lacking the wisdom to use knowledge, that’s where we sit. Even if I did know the truth behind it all, would I be able to do anything about it? What would I do if I really knew? Well, there is another question, and I won’t know the answer until I know the truth, which means… I may never know at all. Truth requires faith, and faith cannot be understood. I scratched at my head in frustration.

“Yes, but why though!? How do I accept that I can’t learn and I won’t learn until I accept that I can’t!? Gah!” I shook my head and checked around just in case somepony heard my outburst, but with the fog this thick, there was little chance of that. Or at least anypony recognizing me anyways.

The fog felt like it’d gotten even thicker since this afternoon when I left home with Applejack, and I could hardly see but a few hooves ahead of me. If I couldn’t navigate this town in the dark with a blindfold on, I might be in trouble. But since I’ve done exactly that before, I knew exactly where I was and where I was going. Misty Drive leads to Sapphire Street which takes me to I90, which branches off around town at River Road, which then goes all the way out of town and passes my house and the air base. Just past the bridge is Crystal Drive, where Pinkie lives.

I like to walk this particular route because it always takes me by the bakery. No matter the weather, one of the Wheat family is always baking something, and it always smells delicious. I had a few coppers on me, and since I didn’t eat lunch, I figured I might stop by.

When I did finally reach the bakery on Sapphire, to my surprise, I saw somepony on the sidewalk looking at their tablet. They were… really tall. A unicorn for sure, but the horn protruding out of that hat was definitely blue, and too small to be hers.

The not-so-gratuitous hips also told me this wasn’t Celestia, that being the easiest identifier of her, but who else was that large, female, and a unicorn to boot? She was wearing a gray hoodie, a red ball cap with the bill facing backward, blue jeans, and had a pair of over ear headphones around the base of her neck. She was holding a tablet in her magic and chewing on one hoof, looking left and right like she was searching for something. Her ears shot up straight and she turned to see me, at first like she was shocked, but then like she was relaxed.

“Oh, hello there. You don’t happen to be a local of this area, do you?” Well that isn’t an accent you find around here. The way she spoke almost reminded me of Rarity, like she was from the east coast or something. She doesn’t look it, but maybe she’s from like a ritzy part of Equestria in one of those big cities.

“I uh… yes, I’m from here.”

She closed the distance and then held a large hoof out to shake. She was big. Now that she was up close to me, I would dare say she is almost as big as Celestia, but with a different kind of feminine figure. Where Celestia is large in the places that would make stallions blush and mares jealous, this mare had the thin waist and long figure of somepony that models for a living. Another envious body, but not one that doesn’t take a lot of work to get. I shook the big hoof and was unsurprised at the crazy strength it had. Oh great, another one.

“Ah, perfect! I’m visiting town to see the air base, but all this fog rolled in this morning and I’m absolutely lost. My phone seems to be having trouble connecting to service and I was beginning to wonder if I would ever find the road I’m looking for. Would you mind helping me to…” she turned back to look at her very large ‘phone’ if you could call it that, and then said, “River Road?” I scrunched up my face.

On the one hoof, this mare clearly has no idea where she is. Underhoof isn’t large, but it’s very easy to get lost on days like today if you’re not familiar with town. Nopony is out today for that very reason, and likely why she couldn’t get anypony else to help her. On the other hoof, that would probably lead this mare straight to my house since it’s exactly on the way to where she wants to go. Despite ignoring his own words with the last stranger I met, Dad always said to be cautious of strangers. But apparently they knew each other from before, so whatever. At least this lady didn’t start off by trying to hit me or fight me. I might as well be nice.

“Oh sure. I’m headed that way anyways, so you can just follow me.” The blue mare said,

“Great, thank you very much!” and leaned down and hugged me.

Oh my goddess, why do I attract weirdos?

She let go and as we walked along, she asked about the various stores and buildings we passed. I told her what I could to the best of my ability, and it really did seem like she was some kind of tourist or something from the east coast. She mentioned Canterlot more than once, so I can only assume that’s where she’s from. When we finally reached River Road off the highway, she stopped to thank me.

“Once again, thank you for this, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you. Might I… repay you somehow? Have you eaten recently? We passed that diner a few blocks ago, and I feel like I need to show my gratitude.”

Well… she seems like a nice lady, why not? At least this one is offering to feed me. The last one moved in and ate all my food.

“Uh… okay. There’s a better one than that a little down the road though. The Cavallian stuff is great, but I just want a carrot dog or something. One of my friends was talking about that yesterday and I’ve been thinking about it since then.” The blue mare nodded.

“Ah, a true patriot for Equestrian food are we? I like that. To your restaurant then!” She patted my head and then on to the other place we went.

Like many of the stores in Underhoof, this place was ancient and had been running at least as long as dad and Shining had been here, probably even before. They sold groceries on one side and we’d often buy from this place when the little store on the other side of town didn’t have what we need. The real draw of this place though, is their large assortment of ice cream flavors, so instead of actually getting food like I initially wanted, she said I could get anything, so I got the giant ice cream sundae that dad would never buy.

“Ah what it is to be a filly again. Alas, I am far too old to be having wishful thoughts like that. So, how long have you lived here?” I’m not sure I caught all of that, I was lost within the cold, creamy custard and not much could’ve brought me back from the salivating sweetness. I swallowed the glob of gooey goodness and said,

“As long as I can remember. My dad moved here before I was born.” The big, blue mare nodded and took a bite of the carrot dog she ordered.

“I see. I did arrive here on business with the air base, but I’ve heard many a strange tale about this place as of late. Tell me, do you know anything about this… ‘Motor Mare’ I’ve been hearing about?” I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

“Do I know about her, pfft. She lives in my house! She just dropped out of the sky one day and beat me over the head with a guitar, and then I found her doing weird stuff with my dad when I came home that same day! Can you believe her!? Goddess, she makes me angry.” The blue mare lowered her brows, blinked and leaned closer.

“I’m sorry, she hit you with a guitar?” she asked. I swallowed another spoonful of ice cream and nodded.

“Me, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rarity, Rainbow, who knows how many others. She ran dad over with her giant motorcycle and there are a couple reports of her hitting other ponies.” The blue mare put her elbows on the table and rested her face on her hooves.

“Oh goddess, she’s already started…” The blue mare took her carrot dog in her magic and chomped away another quarter of it. She leaned back in the booth and crossed her forelegs.

“So, I was also warned of monsters being sighted here in the past couple weeks. Ponies were talking about these black beasts that have shown up seemingly at random. Is that true?” I shrugged.

“If you’ll believe it, they all came out of my head. Well, except for the last one, but according to Celestia, that wasn’t supposed to happen.” The blue mare was mid drink when I said that, and she nearly spit it out. After choking it down and coughing she exclaimed,

“Celestia!?” She drank some more soda and after she was settled, she continued, “Is that her name? Who told you that?” I lowered my brows.

“Well, she did. The Motor Mare, I mean.” The blue mare nodded.

“Sweet goddess, she’s already ahead of me and I didn’t even realize she was home… Um, you said… they were coming out of you, right? How many have there been so far? I know that this is likely all strange to you, but there haven’t been… musical instruments involved have there?” I tilted my head.

“Well, three in total I think. Bramos came with the first one, and nothing happened with the second one, but she did pull a guitar out of the last one before she killed it. And like, an actual guitar with six strings, not like the bass she’s been using to fight.” The blue mare groaned.

“Good goddess! She has the amp! Where did she find the notes? How long has she been at this? Everything is happening so fast, I thought I still had more time…” The blue mare looked like she was under some severe stress and continued to ramble for a while. She took her hat off and ran her hoof through her pale blue mane. Then, something occurred to her.

“You… if you’re the gate…” She shook her head. “I’m sorry I keep interrogating you like this, but you said you and your father had been living here, right? What were your names?”

“Uh, he’s Nightlight Sparkle, and he runs the paper for town and manages the city’s website. I’m Twilight Sparkle.” The blue mare stared at me for a good long while, then fell back in her seat and covered her face in her hooves.

“Oh, sweet goddess, you poor thing. Who is this Nightlight character? Why did she… no, she had to have known him for some reason. Do I know him? Why was he here? How did she find him? It had to have happened before the infection, but if she was… and if I never knew… when? Or wait… No, this doesn’t make any sense. She has completely different concerns, she’s putting the chord together for a reason, and it’s not why I need it… However, if she already has the notes… I can use this…” The blue mare smiled and then grabbed the rest of her carrot dog and swallowed it in one bite. She downed the rest of her soda and then got up from the table.

“I appreciate how honest you’ve been with me. You gave me very valuable information, and I thank you for that. Here, this should cover the food. The rest is yours.” She took a single bit out of her hoodie’s pocket and then traded it with her hat on the table and trotted happily out of the restaurant door. There was something I’d only read about and never actually seen in person. A black bit. Coppers are worth one, silvers are worth ten, but blacks are worth one hundred bits. Even further up is gold at one thousand, but I’m not sure I’ll ever see one of those.

A whole black bit! And she just gave it to me! A carrot dog meal and my super sundae are only gonna cost me like thirteen bits in total, I just made eighty-seven bits! Holy crap, I don’t even know what to do with this! It’s all mine to do whatever, and all I did was tell some random mare about town! How lucky can I be?

Funny Bunny (Part 2)

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

My Hoof (Part 1)

Author's Note

My Hoof

My Hoof (Part 1)

Applejack

“Shit, shit, shit! Twilight, if y’all don’t quit distractin’ me, Ah swear!”

Ah swatted one of them little demonic bastards off my shoulder and scraped the goo off my uniform. Who knows how many were behind us? We had ta move, and doin’ 60 on the highway in the car Ah stole wasn’t enough.

“Shut up, shut up! Drive faster damn it, they’re gaining on us!”

TWANG

Twi slammed the crystal guitar against another group of the little monsters, smashin’ them and lettin’ the bodies roll off the trunk. This Cadillac is half a century old, and Ah don’t know that it can make enough power ta get away from these things… Wait a minute! That turn is just up ahead! If Ah can do it just like she did… Ah shifted inta fifth gear and pushed my hoof ta the floor as the engine roared. Twi fell inta the back seat at the sudden lurch the car made, and finally, she let out a breath.

“Oh, thank the goddess.” Then she turned around ta see what Ah was doin’. The panic on her face was enough.

“Applejack, that’s a cliff! Applejack, that’s a CLIFF!” Ah nodded and prepared fer the drift.

“You’re damn right it is! Hold on tight!” Ah down shifted inta third, and then!

To be continued

Now, ya might be wonderin’ how Twi and Ah found ourselves in this situation. Well, it all starts a few days ago when the seven of us got inta a gunfight.

“Ah’ll laugh when Ah plant one between yer eyes Mac!”

Ah ran out from behind my tree just as my older brother did, and we both shot at each other, narrowly missin’ each bullet until we landed behind a different tree. Ah dropped the empty magazine from my gun and loaded another, Ah’m sure Mac was doin’ the same. More sounds of fire came from each direction now, Twi was holdin’ off Pappy and Applebloom on the other side of the orchard, and only the goddess knows what Celestia and Luna are doin’.

“Ya ain’t shit, Jack! Y’all couldn’t hit the side of the barn with aim like that! Quit hidin’, ya damn coward!”

Oh yeah? Well ya know what they say about ‘almost’…

“We’ll see who’s aim ain’t what! Take this ya, red piece of shit!” Ah pulled the pin and lobbed the little explosive over by Mac’s position.

“Where in the world did ya- HOLY SHIT!

WE’LL

RIGHT

BACK!

“Now that Ah think about it, that doesn’t really explain anythin’, does it?” Twi shook her head.

“Yeah, no, that’s completely fucking useless. How is anypony supposed to know what you’re talking about without context?”

Another loud bang at the abandoned factory double doors dented them in just a little more. Ah sighed as Ah waited for our inevitable demise and tried ta play that little lick from mom’s old song on the bass again.

“Ah’m still watchin’ my advancin’ shoes, Ah know that Ah will get there soon

Ah don’t worry about gettin’ wet in the rain

Ah’ll get dry eventually

Until the day that Ah give up, Ah’ll keep walkin’ my endless road

Like an adventurer, let’s go My Hoof,

Ta find that place at the end~”

“That was pretty, but I think you missed a no-”

BANG

We both flinched as another big dent in the door meant the bugs didn’t have much longer before they got in and… did whatever. Ah sighed.

“How did we even end up in this mess in the first place?” Twi shook her head and sat down, starin’ at that crystal guitar. Neither of us even had the chance ta change out of our uniforms after school today.

Goddess, Ah hope Ah don’t have a hole in my skirt again. Pappy is gonna kill me if he has ta buy me another one.

“I… honestly have no fucking clue. All I know is that if we don’t figure out something soon, we’re probably gonna die.” Ah rolled my eyes.

“Gee Twi, that’s real helpful, thanks.” She scowled at me.

“Oh, my goddess, go fuck yourself.” Ah shook my head.

“Geez, do y’all know how much trouble Ah’d be in if Pappy caught me masturbatin’ in the house? Mac got caught once, and Pappy threw him out in the barn ta sleep fer the night in the middle of winter! ‘If ya wanna act like an animal, then Ah’ll treat ya like one!’ Poor bastard came back inside the next day half frozen beggin’ fer a hot shower.” Twi blinked.

“Uh… that’s like, not even okay. Are you sure your grandfather hasn’t violated some kind of cruel and unusual treatment statute that would get Child Protective Services called on him?” Ah shook my head.

“Ah don’t think so. But maybe. Mac’s room used ta smell funny all the time, but ever since then, it’s smelled nice, so Ah don’t mind. Besides. We’re the ones who aren’t okay right now. Those fuckin’ bugs are gonna eat us alive if we don’t do somethin’.” Twi sighed and strummed some random notes on the guitar.

“Provided Luna doesn’t kill us first. It’s not totaled, is it?” Ah shook my head.

“Oh please, Mac’s rolled the truck before, and it survived. That old thin’ is made out of stronger materials than most cars today are. It’s also twice as heavy, but it’s only got a few dents on it. The starter still ‘worked’ even if the engine didn’t turn, and Ah suspect that’s because the fluids were all shook up more than anythin’. Maybe a broken sparkplug too. It wasn’t leakin’ or nothin’, so it should be fine. Nothin’ that magic and a hammer can’t solve. Though uh… replacin’ the headlights might have ta happen. Either way, it shouldn’t take a lot ta get that old 62 back in shape.” Twi shook her head and sighed.

“I hope you’re right. If Celestia can revive the dead with her magic, who knows what her sister is capable of.”

BANG

“Well, that’s not going to hold for much longer,” Twi noted. In truth, Ah was surprised that the door had lasted this long. The old steel mill didn’t really have much in the way of a ‘stable structure’ after bein’ abandoned fer so long. Ah got up and figured it was time ta seek higher ground. Then, that reminded me of somethin’.

“Oh, ya know what? That’s when this all started. When Luna showed up.” Twi clapped her hooves, then stood up.

“That’s right! Goddess, how in the fuck did we end up here?”

“And remember kids, the trimester is ending soon, so finals are just around the corner! Don’t forget everything over fall break, and have fun!” Mrs. Rich exclaimed.

The school bell rang, signalin’ the end of the day. Ah sighed and leaned back in my desk chair. One more Monday, one day closer ta harvest week. Everypony else gets a week off from work, but me? No, that’s just when it really starts.

“A heavy sigh from Ms. happy family? Why, whatever would be causing that?” Ah leaned my head over and summed up the little white unicorn.

“Yeah, that’s rich comin’ from y’all. When’s yer dad supposed ta move back out here?” Rarity rolled her eyes.

“Oh goddess, I have no clue. It’s a miracle they were even able to reconcile. I don’t quite remember what happened that night, but apparently it made mother conscious of her familial neglect, so I’m not upset about it. It’ll be nice to have Sweetie and father back.” Ah let my head fall back and stared at the wall behind me upside-down.

“Well, that’s just peachy fer ya, ain’t it? We’ll have ta introduce our sisters ta each other, maybe they’ll be friends. Course, if she’s as much of a bitch as y’all are, maybe not.”

Rarity huffed and sat on my lap, elbowin’ me in the gut in the process. “Ow! Damn it Rar-” Ah only managed ta get so many of my words out before Ah was met with the taste of hoof polish and soap.

“Yes, yes it is. Celestia is certainly a mystery, isn’t she? First she gives me life advice, and then she gets my parents back together. She is such a strange pony, but if that’s what she brings with her, then I can’t complain. Come now, tell me what’s wrong.”

Ah spat her hoof out and then leaned back again. She really don’t weigh much. Ah wonder if Rarity is eatin’ right?

“Well, fall break is in a couple weeks, and that means that Harvest Week is also in a couple of weeks. Sunup ta sundown, Ah’ll be kickin’ pear trees, loadin’ up the trucks, pressin’ pears inta juice and everythin’ else we need ta do ta get ‘em ready ta put on the market. Normally, Ah’m excited fer Harvest Week because Ah love doin’ the work. But… lately, it’s been… difficult.”

Rarity turned around and straddled me ta get me ta look her in the eyes. She ain’t usually this touchy. Is she pickin’ up habits from Pinkie? Ah’m not about ta do any of their gay shit fer her, her family is about ta fix itself.

“Come now, tell me what’s up. It’s me! You can talk to me, I bring my problems to you. It’s only fair Applejack.” Ah rolled my eyes.

“Maybe Ah’d be more willin’ ta talk if it didn’t look like you’re tryin’ ta get under my skirt. Get off.” Rarity huffed and exited my chair, and then Ah followed and picked up my saddle bags.

“Well. Somepony needs her personal space, doesn’t she?” She picked up her bag and out of the empty classroom we went. “Out with it! I must know, you must confide in me! Let me help!” Ah pushed her off again and rolled my eyes.

“Good goddess, can ya take a damn chill pill? What’s wrong with you?” Rarity made a bunch of mouth noises and waved the question away.

“Please, I’m fine. I am… slightly concerned that Trixie almost killed Rainbow the other day, and even more so that I missed out on another one of those shadows, and another giant unicorn showing up, but the stress of living in a house with both of my parents again isn’t getting to me. I’m fine! Your problems are more important. Mine… should simply resolve themselves after I re-adjust again.”

Uh-huh. Not high strung or worried about yer parents fightin’ again now that they’re tryin’ ta make it work. Sure, Rare, sure. Well, if me talkin’ will give her somethin’ ta distract herself with…

“Well…”

VROOM

We’d just made it outside when somepony revved the engine in their car. There, just by the edge of the sidewalk, was sittin’ one of the prettiest vehicles Ah’ve ever seen. It was an old Cadillac of some kind, like a car taken out of time from over half a century ago and brought forward inta the future. It had all the stylin’s of the late fifties, which made me think this had ta be some kinda relic from right after the war ended. It was robin’s egg blue and polished ta such a degree that the afternoon sunlight just bounced off it. The chrome linin’ all the way around the car reflected everythin’ and more, and even from this far away, Ah could see Rarity and Ah in its reflection. We walked up ta the car, and some massive blue mare was discussin’ it with my brother.

“… But of course, being made almost entirely of steel has its advantages, and truly, it is easy to repair in the event something hits it, or I have to run down a demon on the weekend. With my sister around again, I have to be ready for something like that to happen any day of the week. Otherwise, I try to take care of her as best I can,” the blue mare said. Mac nodded and studied the car and then the mare in it.

At this point, Ah couldn’t really tell which he was more interested in. Course, this lady looks like she’s at least ten years older than him, but then again, the age of consent in this state is 16, so…

“Well that all sounds mighty useful. What’s the transmission on this like? It sounds like it revs real high.” The blue mare took the long shifter stick and wiggled it from side to side.

“I had the transmission replaced long ago. The automatics from this era were… well, awful, really. It broke on me more times than I care to admit. Having the manual requires more work, but it’s lower maintenance. The engine puts quite a bit to the wheels, but… it’s not quite up to ‘government standards’ so to speak, so that’s all I’ll say about it. It might look like a sixth generation 62, but in reality it’s a different beast beneath the hood.”

Ah wonder what it drives like? Mac has let me drive the truck a few times and Ah take the ATV everywhere as it is…

“Oh, there ya are. Ya never answered my text. Ah guess you’re ready?” Ah absent mindedly confirmed as Ah traced my reflection in the baby blue finish. The blue unicorn leaned over the side of the door and watched me.

“Interested, are we? Fillies your age usually don’t care about cars.” Ah nodded and never really took my eyes off it.

“Ah help Pappy and Mac fix all the rundown crap we have at the orchard all the time, so Ah’m pretty used ta workin’ with these thin’s. Ah think Ah’ve reassembled half that damn truck by myself at this point. And most of the tractor too. Ah don’t mind though, Ah like the work.”

Mac patted my head with a proud smile.

“She helps me do it more often than not. Pappy’s too old ta be liftin’ heavy parts, so that’s my job these days. It’s almost got ta the point where Ah can lift the block outta the bay without the crane,” he said as he ‘casually’ flexed.

Yeah, sure ya can. Maybe a couple inches ya blockhead. This dumbass is gonna break his back tryin’ ta get that thin’ off the ground one day. You’re big and strong alright, but ya ain’t gonna lift 500 pounds. The older mare laughed and then Ah noticed Twilight had snuck up beside me. The older mare seemed ta know what was goin’ on, but poor Twi was thoroughly invested in my brother’s chest.

“Well, it would seem as if you are quite the able-bodied young stallion. If you ever find that the farm life doesn’t suit you, you might just drop by a recruiting office. The military could always use another strong pair of hooves like yours.” She winked at him in such a way that Ah wanted ta forget, then she noticed Twi.

“Ah, there you are. Are you ready to go? Er… Twilight?” The violet unicorn was shaken from my brother’s hypnotism and clambered inta the passenger seat.

“Uh, yes ma’am.” Luna laughed again and patted the filly on the head.

“Ah, yes, those bubbling hormones are ferocious at your age, aren’t they? Well, we’d best be off. Wouldn’t want to keep Celestia waiting too long, would we?” Twi nodded and then Mac stretched one more time in hopes of catchin’ the older mare’s eye, then started toward the truck.

“Yeah, we should head out too. Come on AJ. Pappy’s waitin’.” Ever so slowly, Ah backed away from the pretty, old vehicle and toward the truck. The blue unicorn put a hoof ta her lips and then reached out ta me.

“Young mare, would you like to go for a drive?” Ah almost gasped.

“Can Ah really!?” Ah turned ta Mac, beggin’ and pleadin’ as best Ah could and he rolled his eyes.

“What’s yer cover story gonna be this time? Ya know you’re still on thin ice after ya hit Applebloom the other day.” Ah huffed and rolled my eyes.

“She had a bug on her face, damn it! Ah thought it was gonna hurt her! Just… tell him Ah needed help with my homework, and Twi here offered ta help me with it.” Mac sighed and then climbed inta the truck.

“Alright, but don’t blame me if he calls ya out on it. Either way, ya should get back early enough that ya aren’t dead after he wakes ya up in the mornin’ ta get yer chores covered.” Ah ran over ta the window and gave him a hug.

“Thanks Mac, you’re the best.” He gave me a half-lidded stare and then hugged me back real quick.

“Whatever. Ah’m tellin’ him eight, so be back by eight.” Ah bolted fer the shiny Cadillac and waved back at Mac

“Okay!” Ah hopped inta the back seat over the convertible’s door and landed on some almost vinyl-like seats that were real soft ta the touch, but kinda firm ta sit on. Once Ah was buckled, the engine roared ta life and Blue mare shifted inta first.

“Now then, let’s go!”

When she fishtailed outta the school parkin’ lot, Ah almost swore that we were gonna get pulled over. The power this thin’ was makin’ must’ve been insane ta just break the back end loose like that on a mild, dry October day.

“Goddess, you’re just as bad as she is! Aah!” Twi exclaimed. She was holdin’ on tight ta her leg rests, and Ah almost wish Ah had more seat belt.

“Ah, but that is where you’re wrong, my dear. I’m worse.”

Like a bat outta hell, we sped through town ta the intersection, but this crazy broad wasn’t slowin’ down. As Underhoof is never a busy town, even when ponies are gettin’ outta school, there wasn’t hardly any traffic on the road but Mac headed toward the highway. She passed Mac on the on comin’ side, then did somethin’ that looked like magic.

She shifted from third ta second, put her back hoof on the clutch and the break at the same time and spun the car around sideways, over steerin’ inta a right turn. The hoof came off the clutch, the rear axle slapped a plate under the trunk and the wheels spun until they caught the road, launchin’ us down the street as if we’d never slowed down in the first place. A few seconds later, we were in fifth and breakin’ through the fog around Underhoof.

“Wow… how’d ya do that?” Ah don’t know if Ah was more awestruck by the skill it took ta make the car move the way it did, or the luck we had in not hittin’ somepony else on the road. The blue unicorn laid a forehoof across the bench seats in the front and smiled back at me. Her eyes were almost the same color as the car, but they had these little flecks of gold all along the irises, just like Twilight’s did.

“Years of practice, little one. Your name is Applejack, correct?” Ah nodded and she twisted her foreleg a little further back fer me ta shake… somehow. The massive blue hoof was probably about twice the size of mine.

“You may call me Luna. Now then. How about a real drift?”

Uhhh… Excuse me? Luna pulled her hoof back and took hold of the shifter again. The golden fields that surrounded Underhoof started ta fly by and give way ta the more arid part of this road as dry dirt and scrub grass surrounded the road. Then Ah noticed the edge.

“H-ha ha, y-you’re gonna slow down, right?” Twi asked. Ah swallowed. There ain’t no way in hell.

“Incorrect!” Up ahead was a wide right turn with a drastic drop off on the left side and a guard rail. That marked the start of the valley, and just off ta the left of this place was the old steel mill that ‘Underhoof once took pride in,’ as Pappy likes ta say. We flew past the ’30 M.P.H.’ warnin’ sign, and without losin’ any speed, we entered the turn. Luna down shifted ta third and the wheels spun faster than we did, and she turned the steerin’ wheel hard right, then left. The white walls smoked as the boat like car slid sideways.

The engine and the tires and Twilight screamin’ all the while, and Ah couldn’t help but hold my breath. It was like the world had slowed down. The scenery passed by in the clear day liked nothin’ Ah’d ever seen but once before. A memory came back ta me when Pa had taken me out with him one day in that old Nova of his.

“Ya know Applejack, there are days Ah feel like the world is gonna collapse in on me. There’s so much pressure on me ta be somepony Ah never thought Ah could, that sometimes, Ah wonder if meetin’ yer mother that night was a mistake. But when Ah look at ya, Ah just can’t help but see Buttercup in yer face. Y’all make life worth it, just like she made life worth it all those years ago. If ya ever get down and Ah can’t help ya, remember that there’s always somethin’ that makes it worth it. The moment just makes it hard ta see.”

The Cadillac whipped straight at the edge of the turn and the wheels caught the road again, shootin’ us off like a rocket once more. When the world calmed down, Ah didn’t even realize the pony Ah heard laughin’ was me. Almost like an infection, Twi started up with a giggle, and then broke inta full on laughter right after. Even the driver got caught up in our joy, and it got so bad that she had ta pull over and take a minute ta catch her breath.

Ah laid my head back against the seat and let myself breathe. The sun was settin’, and in just a bit, the sky would change from blue ta gold ta red ta violet before all the stars would come out. Ah remember… back then, watchin’ a sky just like this from the porch of the old house with Ma. She was startin’ ta get fat, and she was always twice as warm as she used ta be. So soft, so easy ta fall asleep on. Ah swallowed and took a sharp breath.

Come on now, what’s this all about? Ah sniffed back a little as the other mares started ta calm down, and just outta the corner of my eye, Ah saw another one of them little bastards.

Ah sat up quick and turned around, and there it was, sittin’ on the tail fin of the car. Watchin’ me. Six legs, a tail, two claws, a ton of glowin’ red eyes, and shiny black and slick lookin’. They weren’t big, they could probably fit in my hoof if Ah could ever catch one, and they were quick. On the first night they showed up, Ah was terrified of ‘em and Ah made Applebloom sleep in my bed. They would just sit and watch. Nothin’ more, nothin’ less. After the first week, they appeared more frequently, but they never approached. In the second week, Ah’d just about gotten used ta ‘em when they started ta come closer. They never cared about anypony around me, and when Ah tried ta talk about it, nopony believed me. Nopony else could see them.

One day, there were a few of ‘em around while Ah was workin’ in the barn, and one crawled on Applebloom ta keep me in sight. She freaked out and froze, thought there was some kinda bug on her head. Ah threw a pear at it, but it got away and only hit Applebloom in the face. Stupid little filly started cryin’ and Ah got my ass whipped fer it.

The next week though, they started makin’ off with fruits every now and again. Ah would see a group of ‘em take a pear away, never ta be seen again. One mornin’, Applebloom saw a pear floatin’ away, and that was enough fer me. They’re real, but Ah don’t know what they are.

“Applejack? Is something wrong?” Twi asked. Ah turned my head ta say no, but when Ah looked behind me again, the little demon was gone.

“Ah… don’t think so. What’s up?” She scratched at her wrist.

“Oh, I just wanted to know if you’d done that before. You seemed relatively calm throughout the whole ordeal, so…” The bugs far from my mind, Ah got a little smirk on my face.

“What’s that? Did somepony almost wet her skirt?” Twilight let her head drop ta the side and gave me a half-lidded stare.

“Really?” she asked with complete apathy in her voice. Ah giggled and shook my head.

“Naw, that’s just how Pa used ta drive when he’d take me out. There are a buncha roads that are all twisty like that back in Palomino by the apple orchard, so he’d do this kinda crap all the time. Ah never figured out how he did it though.”

Luna crossed her forelegs and nodded.

“Ah, a fellow fan of the drift. In truth, my car is awful for this sort of thing, but with enough practice, you can make any car slide. Having the bits to replace tires, however, is a must. It is not a very cheap hobby. Initially, I wanted to bring Twilight out here, but since you happen to be a note too, I might as well ask you. Tell me girls, what do you make of Celestia? Er, your Motor Mare, had you not known her name before.”

Ah puffed out some air. What do Ah make of her? Hell if Ah know.

“Ah uh… well, ya know, she’s… kinda weird? She hit me in the back of the head with that damn guitars of hers, but she also saved Rarity and her mom from that thin’ y’all fought off, so… Ah don’t know. She says weird stuff. It’s almost like she ain’t here sometimes, ya know?” What’s the word…? Rarity is always tellin’ me about her new words of the day, there was… That’s the one. “Aloof. That’s what Ah make of her, she’s aloof.” Luna nodded.

“Hmm. Yes, I imagine being here is… painful for her. Well, what about you? You’ve been with her the longest… in recent years anyways. What do you think?” Twi leaned back in the passenger seat and stared up at the empty sky.

“Oh, goddess, where do I even begin? She’s… I don’t know, it’s like she’s several ponies all at once but has that distinct flavor of ‘Celestia’ underneath it all, like she’s trying to but can’t escape who she is. Chaotic. Alcoholic. Irresponsible. Brave. Haughty. Better than you. Insane. Crazy, crazy, crazy. But at the same time… she can be… caring. Kind, almost… loving, even. There’s a… sweetness mixed in with the insanity. The pony I’m looking at isn’t really the pony inside, and I know that because there are times when… she really is that pony inside because she’s… she’s…

I don’t know, maybe I’m just reading into it too much. What I do know is that she’s the cause of all the shit that keeps happening around me, and I don’t like it. I… don’t know that I want to see her go, but I don’t want to keep living every day expecting some life-threatening monster to show up at random.” Luna reclined her seat and put her hooves behind her head.

“I see. So that’s what she has become. I had figured she was conflicted about what she was doing, but seeing her again and spending time with her has told me that there is something amiss in Celestia. A… desperation, if you will, to reclaim something lost. And a desire to see something preserved, both at odds with each other.”

Luna paused fer a moment, then we watched as a star shot across the sky. “She was… not always this way, you know.” Twi and Ah gave each other a look and then stared back at Luna.

“Really?” The blue unicorn nodded, then crossed her hind legs.

“Yes… There was a time when I knew her better than anypony else. She was strong and noble, kind and generous, optimistic and idealistic, loyal and true. Celestia was the embodiment of a follower of the goddess, she whose rules for sentient beings this country was founded on over two millennia ago. When we first arrived in this land, we were seen as goddesses to the ponies, but we knew better and taught them a better way. They finally understood we were not gods after a time, but they did see us as her prophets, so we were crowned, and Equestria entered the path to become what it is today. Celestia took center stage as she bore the mark of the sun, and I preferred to stay in the shadows as my place was that of the moon, to reflect her light in the times when she cannot be seen.

For years we lived this way, going on about life, leading the ponies and… at times making brutal conquests, but everypony makes mistakes, and we learned after a while that forceful takeovers don’t exactly go well with that land’s population, even if they started the fight. Once we’d conquered the east and west coasts of the continent, there was relative peace in the land, and our imperialistic days were over. Mostly. I took some islands a while back, but we don’t talk about that. Anyways, decade after decade, I began to notice the… spark in Celestia’s eyes start to vanish. Our home was destroyed once, and to prevent that, we decided against forming a certain kind of relationship with our fellow pony kind.

In my eyes, we should’ve been content with that. I was content with that. Anything that prevented the tragedy of our father was fine with me, and I was willing to live out my endless days happily in this kingdom. My sister, however, wanted more. She wanted somepony who was hers alone, and one day, there was a stallion brave enough to give that to her. After he came along, Celestia… deteriorated. Or at least, my image of who she was did. She began to shirk her duties to be with him, to shun others, to shun me. I started to pick up the slack on her end, but there were days where I could no longer keep a hold on all our responsibilities alone, and I confronted her about it.

Her champion, as she called him, would even side with me in this debate, saying the land was more important than he was, and the ponies who looked to her needed her more than he did. The argument became… well, let us say ‘heated,’ and things took a wrong turn very quickly. Words were said, things that never should’ve been spoken aloud that could never be taken back, and then energy was unleashed.

In an effort to end the fighting, that stallion tried to interrupt our clash, and, well, we killed him. Kind of. Something strange happened. He was… changed into something the likes of which we’d never seen. This new being he had become escaped to the stars, and after him, she followed. When she left, I truly believed I would never see my sister again. Fast forward a few centuries later, and she shows up one day out of the blue with him restored to his original form. The world had changed quite a bit in the time she was gone, and even I had… fallen to the very things I accused her of back then, but she… never even brought it up. The fight remained unspoken of, and it was like I had Celestia back.

On top of the miracle of her returning home with her stallion, they performed another together, and I was… simply struck by it. Even after my own escapades into irresponsibility, I never thought it was possible, but somehow, she did it. To this day, I still find it hard to believe, yet… I can touch the proof that it happened, so I must believe. However, I soon learned the truth of this return.

My sister wanted to do something. Something that would potentially destroy the planet in its wake, and I could not allow it. To prevent another battle between us, I had hid what she sought and told her that they had been lost. But that didn’t stop her from finding them. She scoured the world and collected the five I’d scattered across the globe, and in the end, she was going to challenge me for the final one. A desperate mare with love as her raison d’être isn’t a mare to be trifled with.

However, she never did learn the truth of what I’d done as the result of our last fight reared its ugly head again, and her first love was taken from her once more. She abandoned her second love and chased after him, and I thought this would have been the last time she was ever seen. That was… thirteen years ago. When my scout in the area told me that she had returned, I couldn’t believe my ears. She’d come back when I needed her most, but after arriving a few days ago… this wasn’t the mare I knew, the mare who could help me. This mare was… twisted. Something in her has changed, and now… it’s almost like I am looking at the husk of the pony I knew, and all that remains of her is hope and desperation.

I tell you this story as a tale of caution. You must be wary of Celestia. She is after something. What she wants, she wants bad enough to sacrifice the world for it, and I… do not know that I have the power to stop her this time. In the end, it may come down to a battle between her loves, and it may very well be you that makes all the difference. Our time runs short. When the end is near, Twilight, it will be up to you to save her. As long as you can do that, then the tragedy of our father will not be repeated again.”

“Thanks fer takin’ me out Miss Luna.” The blue mare nodded and gave me a pat on the shoulder from the driver’s seat.

“Of course! Anypony who truly appreciates my car as you do should at least get to feel its power. I’ll have to take your brother out for a ride sometime too, oh yes… Ah, and you should introduce me to your father as well! I should love to meet somepony who can drift the way you described it.” Ah felt my ears sag and my eyes dropped ta the ground.

“Ah would… love ta, but… Pa’s been… gone fer a little over a year now.” She retracted her hoof as quickly as possible and found somewhere else ta look.

“Oh, I um…” Ah shook my head.

“Don’t worry about it. Ya… couldn’t have known if nopony told ya.” Ah rubbed at my eyes. “Ah don’t normally get like this when Ah talk about it, somethin’ about today is just… off Ah guess. Ah’ll uh… see ya tomorrow, Twi.” Tentatively, she waved at me from the passenger seat.

“Y-yeah. Later Applejack.” The Cadillac’s top came up from behind the back seat, and then the unicorns drove off. Ah adjusted my saddle bags and sighed.

What was that all about? Twice today, ya got all broke up about ‘em. What would Mac say if he knew ya were cryin’ again? Can’t be doin’ that around Applebloom, or she’ll start too. Ya ain’t the only one who lost a father, so stop actin’ like it.

Ah clapped my hooves against my cheeks until they hurt and finally started toward the door.

It was dark out now, and judgin’ by my phone… a little past eight. Well, shit. Before Ah even got ta the porch, the house door opened, and there he was. My wrinkly old yellow grandpa and his hardly brown anymore mane and tail. The grumpy bastard had an eyebrow raised and was givin’ me one of them ‘Ah’m tired of yer shit’ looks like he always does. He never looks at Mac like that, he never looks at Bloom like that, just me.

“Well. Ah see somepony decided ta come home. Who was that broad in the 62? Ah haven’t seen on of those since Ah was Mac’s age.”

Oh, ya know, some random mare Ah met this afternoon. Damn it, why didn’t Ah think of this!? Ah knew this was gonna happen, and Ah forgot! Uh… she looks enough like Twi’s Pa, let’s just say she’s his sister.

“Oh… that was uh… Twi’s Aunt. She’s… home ta visit family fer the week.” Pappy leaned against the door frame and crossed his legs.

“Ah see. And… does Twi’s aunt have a name? Just so we’re clear, this is that new friend ya said ya made last week, right? The one that puked in my ATV?” Ah nodded.

“Yeah, her name is Luna. That was Twi in the car with her, she picked us up from school.” Pappy didn’t change his face, and Ah was startin’ ta get nervous. Finally, he turned around and went inside.

“It’s too cold out here, ya might as well come in. Did ya eat?” Ah shook my head and made my way fer the door. Oh thank the goddess, he bought it.

“Uh, no sir, we were busy the whole time, and Mac said Ah needed ta be home by eight, so… Ah left before Ah got the chance. Pappy nodded.

“Alright then. There’s a potpie sittin’ on the stove, y’all go get yer fill. Yer brother said ya were gonna get yer chores done in the mornin’. Ya plannin’ on goin’ ta bed after this ta keep yer word?”

Ah made my way ta the kitchen and Pappy took a seat at the head of the table waitin’ fer me. It wasn’t strange fer him ta sit with us if we ate late, but Ah get the feelin’ Ah’m not off the hook yet.

“Yessir. Got an alarm set and everythin’.” Ah took a slice of the savory pie out of the still warm stone on the stove and made sure ta scrape the extra gooey goodness that flowed out on top. Carrots, peas, and potatoes all in a savory fillin’ wrapped in pie crust. It was one of Ma’s favorites.

Ah took my food ta the table, and after a bit, Pappy turned on the TV. It was the local news, runnin’ a piece on the Motor Mare, with a couple of pictures of Celestia runnin’ inta ponies, even a good picture of her smackin’ the shit outta Fluttershy with her bass.

Geez, who managed ta get a picture of that?

“So… what did y’all do?” Pappy asked. Ah scratched the back of my head. Here we go again.

“Oh, ya know, we went back ta her place and did homework. Twilight gets the highest grades in class, so Ah thought she’d be the one ta ask fer help.” Pappy rubbed a hoof on his chest and then inspected it.

“Last Ah checked, ya didn’t have bad grades yerself. As a matter of fact, somepony had been gettin’ perfect scores on her tests recently. You’ve never asked anypony fer help before, what makes ya need it now?” Ah froze.

Goddamn it, why in the fuck did ya say anythin’!? This is what ya get fer braggin’! Shit, shit, shit, what now!? Uh… new unit?

“Ah uh… y-ya know, it’s a new subject and all-” Pappy stomped his hoof down on the table and stared at me while leanin’ against the other.

“Applejack, there are two weeks left in the trimester, there is no new subject. What were ya doin’ with them? Ya didn’t talk ta her brother, did ya? The Pies tell me stories about that one, and Ah don’t want ya around him.” Her brother? The Pies? Aren’t those the gray ponies we sit next ta in church? Why… Ah shook my head.

“No, her brother moved ta Canterlot a while back, Ah…” Pappy straightened up.

“Ya better not be liein’ ta me again Applejack, Ah won’t tolerate it anymore! That kid ruined their daughter and if y’all are screwin’ around…” Ah held my hooves up.

“Woah, hold on, Ah don’t know the guy! She and her dad live alone, Ah swear!” He relaxed a little and took a breath.

“Fine. Ah’ll take yer word. Fer now. Tell me the truth this time, what were y’all doin’?” Ah sighed and let my head droop.

“She… Luna, offered ta take me fer a drive with them. Ah wanted ta see what her car drove like, so Ah took her up on it. She drives a lot like Pa did, so… Ah got lost in the moment. It was like bein’ in the car with him again, Ah just…” Pappy sighed.

“So ya lied ta me just so you could go screw around and skip out on yer chores, is that it?” My heart was racin’ and Ah wanted anythin’ but ta be at this table. Ah backed up a little.

“W-well, Ah mean… It’s not like…” Pappy let out a breath and shook his head.

“Goddess damn it, you’re just like yer mother. What is so hard about bein’ honest with me? Livin’ off my work, eatin’ my food, sleepin’ in my beds, and ya treat me like somepony ya don’t even trust!? Tell me the truth! Say it ta my face, Applejack! Tell me that ya don’t like ta work and ya wanted ta be lazy, so ya went ta play ta ignore yer responsibilities! Go on, do it!” Pappy had gotten up ta full height and he was towerin’ over me at the table. Ah cowered out of my chair and backed off.

“It ain’t like that, Ah swear! Ah just…”

“It ain’t like what, Applejack? Are ya sayin’ ya aren’t part of that little club just ta get away from the house? That ya don’t stay after school a little extra just ta slack off? Yer mother used ta do the same shit ta me, and look where that got her! Sixteen and pregnant, ran off with some damn renegade and dead eight years later! Is that what ya want? Half yer whole life ta already be over, just like her?”

“N-no, Ah…”

“Ya what!? Spit it out, damn it! Are ya or aren’t ya Buttercup? Because Ah’m not payin’ fer another funeral in eleven years!”

“Ah don’t know! Damn it, ya always do this when Ah do somethin’ wrong! How in the hell am Ah supposed ta know what Ma did if ya never tell me about her!? How am Ah supposed ta figure anythin’ out when Ah don’t know a damn thin’ about my own mother, and every time Ah ask, y’all just get mad at me and fuck off ta who knows where? Ya talk about Pa like he was some kinda criminal, ya act like Ma never did anythin’ right, and ya treat me like shit too! Pa fought fer the country! Pa tried ta save ponies! Pa raised us on his own fer seven years! Pa ran the Apple orchard with nopony’s help, so where the fuck were you when we needed your help!? What’s yer excuse, huh!?”

Ah expected him ta blow up. Ah expected him ta get in my face and yell at me or hit me fer cursin’ at him, but instead, he sank back down inta his chair. Fer the first time, Pappy… really looked old. The wrinkles in his face were more apparent than ever, the silver in his mane looked almost dull, and Pappy looked… tired.

“That stallion y’all knew and the one that raped my daughter were not the same pony! Goddess damn it, you are Buttercup. Get outta my house. Y’all wanna go make yer own damn mistakes, then do it somewhere else. Ah will not suffer through that again.”

Ah think Ah’d just about bit through my inner cheek. Somethin’ inside me was broken now, and Ah didn’t know how ta contain everythin’ that was bubblin’ up.

“Fine! Fuck you! Ah don’t need ya, and Ah don’t need anypony else! When ya end up in hell alone, Ah hope you’re finally happy!” Ah ran fer the door and grabbed the ATV key off the rack before Pappy could even get up. Ah slammed it shut behind me and started the mini-truck as fast as Ah could. The back porch light was on, and another light came on in the livin’ room. Mac must’ve just got back in. Ah wiped at my blurry eyes until Ah could see again and then turned on the ignition. The front door was openin’ and Ah floored the gas. The little vehicle got up ta speed and raced down the road. Ah didn’t bother lookin’ back.

When Ah finally reached the intersection ta the highway and didn’t see anypony followin’ me, Ah figured Pappy must’ve stopped him.

“Ya vindictive old bastard!” Ah slammed my hooves on the wheel and let my head fall inta my forelegs. Goddess damn it, goddess damn it, goddess damn it! Quit fuckin’ cryin’ ya stupid filly, he ain’t worth it! Fuck! Ah held my face in my hooves, but it just wouldn’t stop. Every time Ah’d wipe ‘em away, the tears would just come back and stain my uniform again. Eventually, Ah just gave up and let it out.

Is this my fault? Does he hate me? Is that really why he always…? No! Fuck him, it doesn’t matter what he thinks. Ah’ll figure this out, Ah just… damn it, Ah need somepony ta talk ta. But… nopony my age is gonna know what ta do. Fluttershy won’t have anythin’ of value ta offer and Rarity is dealin’ with her own shit right now. Twi… well, she’s smart, but she ain’t wise. That’s what Ah need. Wisdom.

But… Ah don’t know Shy’s parents, and Rarity’s parents are… Ah don’t wanna intrude on that. Wait a minute… Luna is stayin’ with Twi, maybe Ah can talk ta her? Well, it’s not like Ah have any better options, so Ah don’t see why not. Ah went ta startup the mini-truck again when Ah noticed the bugs. There was a group of the little black thin’s watchin’ me like they always do a little-ways down the road.

“What do y’all want!? Leave me alone damn it! Stay outta my life!” Ah turned the key and floored the ATV at them, aimin’ the wheel fer their little bodies. The demons tried ta get away, but one of them was just slow enough a get caught under my wheel. Ah heard the satisfyin’ crunch of its little slick body as Ah passed, and finally, Ah had a little peace of mind.

“Now... listen here little Apples- uh… apple… apple…” the white mare tried.

“Applejack,” Ah finally said. The big white unicorn wrapped a leg around me and brought me ta her lap with frightenin’ strength.

“Applesack! I was getting there, you- urp. Oh, geez, I’m sorry. I… I remember fighting with my dad too.” Ah backed away as best Ah could, but she had me in a vice. There was no escape.

“He’s uh… he’s actually my grandpa.” The drunken mare looked at me like Ah just spoke a different language, then tossed back her can and took another few swallows.

“Well, fuck it, same difference. Look, kid, killing your dad is always gonna be hard. I know, I know, he’s tyrannical, he’s lost his mind, he killed mom and is sending the planet toward the sun, but he’s still my dad, ya know? He… he wasn’t always crazy, but the old bastard was gonna kill everypony and we had to put him down. Found all the elements, killed half the universe, the guy just wasn’t the good daddy I remembered anymore. Course, we did try to kill him a few times before, but he was the planet’s avatar, and he still had the elements. You know how you kill a guy tapped directly into the planet’s core? You don’t. You let him kill himself and try to escape with who all is left, that’s what you do.

Luckily for us, pops was so off his rocker that he forgot about the elements, so we st-stole those and yeeted the bitch. Hasta la vista! You’ll never take me alive! Omae wa mou shindeiru. Urp. Goddess, I don’t remember this being so strong. Nighty, you didn’t replace my beer, did you?” The toasty mare shook her can at the blue stallion, and he shook his head.

“No, it’s the same kind I always get. Though, maybe it isn’t. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you intoxicated.” Celestia stared at the can in her hoof, shrugged, then downed the rest of it. She impaled the empty can on her horn ta go with the other two, and then cradled me like a foal.

“Anyways, that was like. Fuck, I don’t know, twenty… twenty-one… no! Twenty-two hundred years ago! Right Lulu?” she swiveled over ta the blue mare, who casually sipped at her own beer.

“Yes, Celestia.” The white unicorn laughed and leaned back in our chair almost ta the tippin’ point, then slammed it back down, the poor thin’ only barely containin’ our weight.

“See! I knew I remembered! He killed my mother, it was hard to forget. I was kinda pissed. We were lucky to get out alive though. Dad was crazy powerful, I don’t know that I could beat him even now. Goddess, I miss being a teen.” She bent over and held me tighter, rubbin’ her face against mine until she pulled me away and looked at my face, confused.

“Wait a minute. This one isn’t mine. Where is Starlight?”

Twi ducked her head and hid from the massive mare, then Celestia reached for her beer can. When her hoof found nothin’, she raised it ta her mouth. “Bramos! I’m empty!” Out of the kitchen and dressed in a baseball uniform, the matte white plastic pony threw a beer can at her that just about broke the sound barrier in its launch.

The air moved aside, and it sounded like a rocket was travelin’ from the livin’ room ta the kitchen. Celestia caught the can, and the rest of us were assaulted by the wind that followed, napkins floatin’ away in the process. Twi’s dad grabbed all the napkins in the air with his magic and then set them back down like this was the most normal thin’ he’s ever done. The white mare leaned her head over and pulled the tab with her massive horn, then tossed the can back.

“Goddess. Why am I so drunk? Urp. This is only number fifteen. I’m not even done with the case yet.”

Done with the case!? How much does she drink normally? Pa used ta knock back twelve and his friends used ta call him a hero fer bein’ able ta do it! Ah looked ta Twi fer help, but she just found the ceilin’ more interestin’.

“Is… is this normal?” Ah finally asked. Everypony nodded, while Celestia looked appalled.

“No it- URP! Oh. Oh, that was loud. This isn’t normal, I n-never get this dunk.” Twi shrugged.

“Sure. She only goes through a case every morning, it’s not like that wouldn’t kill your average, big stallion or anything.” Twi took a sip of her water and then went back ta nibblin’ on her pizza. Celestia put a hoof ta her chest.

“Starlight! I cannot believe you. I… I… urp. Goddess, I am a mare, thank you. There isn’t a stallion in the world who could out drink me.”

Uh. Okay.

Luna chomped away half of her pizza and then cleaned her mouth after she swallowed.

“Well, except for Discord.” Celestia whipped around.

“Don’t you talk to me about that limp-dicked noodle! Goddess, f- urp that guy. You know who treats ponies like shit? The ‘God’ of Chaos, that’s who,” she said with air quotes.

“How often do I have to spread my legs in front of you to get you to do it, you blockheaded fuck!? Goddess, it’s like shoving my ass in his face never gave him a damn clue. He had a tiny penis anyways, he wasn’t the god of anything.” Celestia woozily downed the rest of her beer and smashed the empty can on her head, finally havin’ enough ta cover her horn completely. She put me back in my chair and then threw herself on the big blue mare.

“Lunaaaaaa! I’m tired,” she complained. The big blue unicorn didn’t react, so the white one wrapped herself around her like a snake and put her snout to the other. She’s was makin’ eyes at the slightly smaller mare, and suddenly, Ah was unsure if Ah hadn’t walked inta one of Fluttershy’s comics.

“Why don’t you take me up to my room and I’ll do that thing you like so much♥” Luna lowered her eyes in the ‘tired of yer shit’ fashion, and then pushed Celestia’s face out of her way.

“I will take you to your room, but I will never be doing that again. Listen to me girls, these are words of wisdom. Never take to the alcohol when you’re horny, lonely, and around somepony who’s too friendly.” Celestia rolled her eyes and groaned, sinking onta the floor almost like a liquid, then sprawled herself out half under the table with a foreleg over her eyes.

“Urp. Goddess, you’re s-such a fucking kill joy.” Finally, she rolled on her back and then started ta snore. Luna got up from the table, enveloped the massive white mare in her blue magic, and then started up the stairs with the body.

“As you can see, my sister is quite indisposed. I will return shortly, then we can really discuss your problem.”

Sister? They don’t look nothin’ alike! Hmm. Then again, she did say ‘our father’ in her story, so… huh. Ah thought on it a bit more, and then remembered there was a common trend between them.

Celestia is… gratuitous where Luna is lean, but their eyes… their eyes are different colors, but they have that sparkly quality ta ‘em, and they’re the same shape. As a matter of fact, their faces are real similar too. It suddenly occurred ta me that Ah’d seen eyes like that before Ah met either of these mares, and then Ah looked ‘Starlight’ over. She met my gaze, got nervous, then looked left and right.

“Uh… is there something on my face?” Ah shook my head.

“Naw, Ah think… it is yer face.” She blinked.

“What?” Luna came back down, and then took Celestia’s seat at the little table.

“Now then. What was it exactly that was troubling you my dear?” Ah studied her face, takin’ note of her cheeks and the way her eyes were set, then looked back at the little unicorn. Ah kept lookin’ between them, then took note of her dad across from the table. Between the two of them, the only thin’ they had in common was mane color, and Twi had colors in her mane that were both found… in that white mare’s mane.

Ah tilted my head and looked over the male unicorn some more and came ta the conclusion that there was no way this guy was actually her father. Between his body, his stature, the shape of his face, the color of his hairs and eyes, even the way his horn was shaped, none of it lined up with her, save fer that blue. Unless she took nothin’ from her dad but his colorin’, but that was impossible based on what Ah’ve been taught about genetics. All three of us resemble Pappy quite a bit and we’ve all got similar face structures ta him too. The more Ah think about it, the more Ah think that… if she’s Celestia’s sister… then maybe my lie wasn’t actually that far from the truth…

“Applejack? Is something wrong?” Luna asked. Ah shook my head.

“Naw, y’all just… look similar, is all.” She tilted her head and let one of her ears sag.

“Oh, but… did you not come because there was a problem? You were quite distraught when you walked in earlier.” Ah brought my hoof ta my mouth.

“Oh. Right. Yeah, no, Ah was thinkin’ of somethin’ else. Thanks fer… lettin’ me stay here tonight, by the way. Ah uh… Ah think Ah really screwed thin’s up back home.” Twi’s ‘dad’ shook his head.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. We get visitors here all the time as of late. To be honest with you, I kind of like the house being lively again. It’s been so quiet since my son went off to college that I was beginning to forget what this was like.” The older stallion stared into a beer can himself and slowly spun the liquid inside around. Oh… that’s… Ah guess… everypony has their own problems, huh?

“So, what exactly did you do? This wasn’t because I took you out earlier, is it?” Luna asked. Ah shook my head.

“Naw, Ah think… this has been buildin’ up fer a while. Pappy… is real controllin’ when it comes ta me. Mac gets a lotta freedom. He can go out whenever, he can take the truck wherever, and as long as he calls before he stays the night somewhere, Pappy doesn’t mind. On the other hoof, Ah can’t even breathe without him gettin’ all up in my face about it. Ah should do this better, Ah should be more careful, Ah should be less trustin’, Ah should stay away from colts, Ah shouldn’t be out late, all that crap.

Course, any time Ah do anythin’ wrong, he brings up my parents and starts listin’ off the ways they screwed up and tellin’ me Ah’m gonna end up just like ‘em. Ah mean, it would be one thin’ if he treated Mac and Bloom the same way, but he never does. He babies that filly at every opportunity, and it’s… it’s almost like he and Mac are… friends, ya know? They talk and laugh with each other and it’s like… he’s his real son or somethin’.

Ah’ve been… tryin’ ta avoid work fer a while now because Ah can’t stand him constantly yellin’ at me fer every mistake, and today Ah… Ah lost my temper and finally fought back. He’s a little over sixty years old, but… today is the first day Ah ever thought he really looked old, ya know? It was like Ah hit him or somethin’ and Ah… Ah don’t know, it was all just awful. Ah… didn’t know a whole lot about Pa until Ah heard all his friends from all over the world comin’ ta that funeral and talkin’ about what kinda guy he was. He fought over seas, he was a part time firefighter, he as a racer, my Pa was… he was everythin’, and nopony ever said a bad word about him.

But Pappy… it’s like he can’t find a nice word ta say about him. It’s the same way with Ma, he never talks about her like she was even his daughter, ya know? ‘Ya act just like yer mother, ya look just like yer mother, ya talk just like yer mother,’ and he’s never complimentin’ me or anythin’, he’s always tellin’ me what a screw up Ah am fer it. Ah hardly even know anythin’ about her! She died when Ah was five, how in the world could Ah ever know why any of that is a bad thin’ if he never talks about her? Ah’ve asked about Ma half a million times, but he just gets pissed off and goes ta hide in his office! It’s so… damn infuriatin’! Ah just… don’t know what ta do anymore…”

The big blue unicorn wrapped me in a hug and patted my mane. Come on now, mares don’t cry, remember? Ah bit hard inta my cheek and she let go before the water works came on.

“I am so very sorry. Some ponies live short lives. Much like a flame that burns bright, those are the first to peter out. Before you cast judgement on him, you might take into consideration your grandfather’s position. I take it that you are with him because your parents had no siblings, correct?” Ah pulled my teeth out of my cheek finally and thought about that.

“Ah… no? Aunt Rosie has a big family, herself, and we’ve visited them a few times, but Ah’m pretty sure Ma had a younger brother and an older sister too. Yeah, Uncle Bosc and Aunt Barlett. Ah’ve met them a few times, but they live up on the north east and west coasts, so we only see them once every couple years fer Hearth’s Warmin’. And we have a ton of cousins, Ah think there’s like ten of us just from Pappy’s family. Aunt Rosie has like, eight kids, but she married inta the Oranges, so she lives in Manehattan. They’re… kinda loaded, so it’s always nice ta visit them.”

Luna leaned over and tapped a hoof ta her snout.

“Hmm… that is… strange. It’s typical for Equestrian families to take over for their siblings in the event of death, but rarer for the parents to resume care again due to age. You’ve only ever referred to a singular ‘Pappy,’ how many grandparents do you have?” Ah scratched at my neck.

“Oh, just the one. Granny lost a fight with cancer, so Pa got Sweet Apple Acres when Ah was just a foal. Ah never knew a Pappy on his side, and Ah never knew a Granny on Ma’s side either.” Luna nodded.

“You said your father served, right?” Ah nodded.

“He was a captain in the army. He fought in a battle over seas, but Ah don’t know much else. There are medals and the flag at Sweet Apple Acres, but we only go back there once every few months ta take care of the old house. Pa’s cousins are runnin’ the orchard till Mac comes of age. They’ve all got their own orchards ta run elsewhere, so they trade duty once a month. Pappy’s been teachin’ him how the business works with the pear orchard he owns here and we help out.”

Luna pulled out her phone from her hoodie pocket and started ta type stuff down.

“Would you mind giving me names? I… have some connections, and I can get you a good deal of information about your father. I’ll see what I can dig up about your mother while I’m at it, but I need full names to do a proper search. Both parents and your grandfather, if you would.”

“Oh. Bright Macintosh Apple, Buttercup Pear, and… Ah’m really not sure what Pappy’s real name is. Ah don’t even think Ah met him till after Ma died. He was introduced ta me as Pappy, so that’s all Ah’ve ever known. The ponies around town either call him Mr. Pear, or a few of the older ponies at church call him ‘Heir’ but… Ah’m not sure if that’s his full name or not.” The blue unicorn nodded and added some more ta her phone.

“Interesting… I believe I’m beginning to get a better picture of this. How old are you and your siblings?” Ah scratched at my ear.

“Uh… Mac turned sixteen not too long ago, and my thirteenth birthday was in May. Applebloom is eight. Ma… passed in labor with her.” Luna ran a hoof across her lips.

“That would explain that. While I have some suspicions, I don’t believe that your grandfather hates you or anything like that. What I do believe is that there is more to the story than you know, and it must pain him to think about it. If you resemble your mother as much as he seems to think you do, then there is a chance he fears you may get hurt or worse simply because of your temperament. For now, it may be for the best to wait and gather more information. It… hurts, to lose somepony close, as I’m sure you know and… seeing somepony repeat habits that you lost somepony to… makes the heart ache. I… know the feeling all too well.” She looked back at her phone, stretched, and then got up from the table.

“Anyways, it is getting late, and tonight is a school night after all. You two should get to bed.”

The bell rang, signalin’ that class was over and it was time fer Lunch. Ah got up from my desk and yawned. Rarity turned around and raised a brow at me.

“Goodness, you? Sleepy? What happened, were you up all night?” Ah shrugged and grabbed my saddle bags.

“Kinda. Ah got inta a fight with Pappy yesterday, and that got me kicked outta the house, so Ah stayed over at Twi’s. Problem is, they only have three beds there, so Ah ended up sharin’ with that mare we met yesterday.” Rarity lowered her brows.

“I’m sorry? You slept next to a stranger? Why didn’t you come to me? My house-” Ah cut her off and shook my head.

“Is dealin’ with just as much shit as Ah am, and Ah don’t want ta cause y’all a problem while thin’s are startin’ ta repair themselves. Ah got ta know her enough, Luna’s not a bad pony. It wasn’t that bad anyways. Ah got some of the best sleep Ah ever had, really. Even had a real nice dream about my parents, and Ah’m not usually one ta dream at all. Course, there was somethin’ weird about it all. See, that bed was kinda small and everythin’ so Ah was basically sleepin’ on top of that big unicorn, but as Ah was startin’ ta wake up, it almost felt like… Ah was… wrapped in feathers. Like there was a big ol’ pair of wings around me. It was the strangest thin’. Nothin’ but unicorns in that house.” Rarity frowned.

“That… is odd. Are you sure she didn’t… do anything to you? After mother started to… open up about her line of work, I have become privy to… horrible, awful stories of the things ponies will do to each other. Mares our age get taken advantage of all the time, so…” Ah rolled my eyes.

“Come on Rarity, do ya really think Celestia of all ponies would let somepony nasty next ta Twi? That’s her sister fer the goddess’s sake.” Rarity blinked.

“Come again? She’s who’s sister? What does Celestia have to do with Twilight?”

Hmm… maybe… Ah should keep that one ta myself. After seein’ them sleepin’ there together like that, there ain’t a doubt in my mind anymore.

“Uh… never mind. Point is, Ah really doubt that Celestia’s sister would do anythin’ like that ta anypony. Anyways, Ah don’t have time fer this. Luna sent me some stuff about my parents and Ah need ta get ta the library so Ah can look at it.” Rarity put her elbow on the table and raised a brow at me.

“Is that so? Fine, don’t talk to your best friend, I don’t need to know anything. I’ll just, sit here and eat my lunch and you can go off and explore your history, leaving me all alone. I don’t need company. I’m sure Twilight might talk to me if she and Fluttershy can ever find the time between their card games. I’ll be fine.” Ah took a deep breath and shook my head.

“You’re a needy bitch, ya know that? Come on.” Rarity happily grabbed her backpack and wrapped a foreleg around my neck as we walked.

“Yay! Thank you, Applejack♥” Ah puffed air out my snout and wearily stared at the ceilin’.

“Goddess damn it.”

“So… I don’t know about you, but this looks… official, doesn’t it?” Rarity asked. Ta be honest, Ah agreed with her. What Luna sent me were two files. One was a very detailed history of what my Pa did in the military, and the other was a little information about Ma. The first document was long, typed in some really thin, code-like font that was typical of government documents, and the other looked like a few snippets out of old newspaper articles gathered and pasted inta a word document.

“Ah… yeah, it does. Ah can only wonder how she got a hold of this.” Rarity shrugged.

“Well, it doesn’t really matter, we should just read it and move on.” Ah nodded.

“Bright Macintosh Apple, born September 20th, 1974, deceased August 10th, 2012. Entered service in 1992, fought in skirmishes and liberation operations in… some country on the other side of the world, and rose ta the rank of captain after takin’ over fer his deceased commandin’ officer in one of his missions. In 1996, he was discharged with honors, one Equestrian Moon, one Equestrian Sun, an Alicorn Spirit, and twelve service ribbons. Bright was a noble soul… blah, blah, blah, more dick suckin’ from the government, and… oh, here we go!

In 1996 Bright returned home and made a decision ta exit the service after hearin’ about the death of his father as he was returnin’ ta Equestria. Later that year, Bright met and was married ta a young mare named Buttercup Pear and shortly thereafter had his first son in 1997. He went on ta have two daughters in 2000 and 2005, but due ta complications, his wife died in labor with his last daughter, the foal survived however. In 2003, his mother, Anne Smith Apple, fell ta cancer and passed ta him Sweet Apple Acres, which he ran with the help of his children and relatives for nine years.

In 2012, Palomino suffered a dry spell like no other and a heat wave of unprecedented temperatures in the state, raisin’ the record high ta 117 degrees Fahrenheit. A fire had broken out in a bakery near the small town’s school and grew inta a wild blaze. Ponies were trapped in the bakery, and bein’ nearby, Bright stepped inta the flames in an attempt ta rescue the bakers. After escapin’ alive with the baker’s family, Bright was admitted ta Ponyville General Hospital where he would succumb to a number of burn related wounds and smoke inhalation.

His children were given ta his Father-in-law, Heirloom Pear, at his request, and his body was buried at the Sweet Apple’s End private cemetery in Ponyville, Palomino. Bright will be remembered as who he was when he lived, a stallion of valor. With hundreds of operations and Equestria’s highest honors under his belt, he will be an example of a hero ta all future enlistees. And… that’s all this says.” Rarity frowned.

“Well, that makes it sound like he was a war hero.” Ah frowned and nodded.

“He was a war hero. And he was a good stallion, so it never made sense ta me why Pappy seems ta hate the guy. Pa… was always kind, and he’d tell ya that ya fucked up as soon as ya did it, but he would always tell us why what we did was wrong. Ah didn’t always understand it, but in the last couple years, a lot of the stuff he told us made sense.

Ah don’t know if Pa was book smart, but he was wise. A lot of the ponies at the funeral talked about what good advice the guy could give, and a lot of ‘em talked about how he was a tough guy. Ah mean, this seems ta hold true ta that. But, Ah knew all this. Well, save fer what medals he got specifically, but it’s not like Ah know what those are worth or anythin’.”

Rarity put a hoof under her elbow and another under her chin.

“Well, let’s read the other one and see what it says. Maybe we’re missing something here.” Ah shrugged.

“Alright…” Ah moved the mouse and double clicked on the other file. “Ah guess Ah’ll start with the first one.

June 26th, 2005.

Buttercup Apple, age 24, born August 17th, 1980, dies in-” Rarity shook her head and held out her hooves.

“Woah, woah, woah, wait just a second. 1980? And the other page said your father was born when?” Ah tabbed over and read the top of the page again.

“1974. What about it?” Rarity reared her head back.

“What about it!? He was six years older than her! When was your brother born?” Ah lowered my brows.

“April 11th, 1997.” Rarity brought her hooves ta her mouth.

“Applejack. Your father was 22, and your mother was 16 when your brother was born.” Ah hunched over my chair and brought a hoof ta my lips. Oh. Oh, that sounds bad. Why does that sound bad? If it were me, then that means… Ah’d have my first time… just before my sixteenth birthday… in three years. Which… also means she was a minor at the time. And he was not. Ah swallowed.

“M-maybe there’s more ta this? Ah mean… m-my parents loved each other, there’s… there’s no doubt about that, they were… they never fought, Mac never said anythin’ about fightin’, so…”

The stallion y’all knew and the one that raped my daughter… Raped my daughter. Raped my daughter. Raped my daughter.

“Applejack!? Applejack, breathe!”

Ah finally realized why my chest felt so tight and took a very deep and heavy breath. “Applejack? What’s wrong? Why did you freeze up?” Ah brought my hooves ta my head and tried ta cover my ears.

“P-pappy… h-he said that Pa… P-pa… H-he said that he r…” Ah felt breakfast startin’ ta come up the back of my throat and found a nearby trash can in the empty library. She rubbed at my back until Ah was finally done and then passed me some paper towels. Ah wiped my mouth and then held my head in my hooves over the keyboard.

“P-pappy said that… Pa… r-raped Ma.” Rarity swallowed.

“What? When? Surely, he could’ve just been-” Ah shook my head.

“N-no, Pappy doesn’t lie ta us. He was furious at me. Ah… Ah’d just cursed him out because… because Ah couldn’t take it anymore and he said… he said that. He didn’t yell, he didn’t threaten me, he… he just said that…”

After that, the library was quiet. Ah don’t know that Ah had a thought in however long the silence lasted, but Ah couldn’t do anythin’ else but sit and stare the black keys in front of me. Ah felt… empty. Cold. Like Ah was trapped in ice and couldn’t move. Every hair on my coat felt like it was standin’ on end and Ah… didn’t know what ta do. Finally, the bell rang ta call fer the end of lunch, and robotically, Ah made my way back ta standin’.

“Applejack?” Ah shook my head.

“Ah… think Ah need sometime alone. If anypony asks… just tell ‘em Ah went home sick. There’s proof in that trash can, Ah…” Ah took a deep breath and wiped at my eyes.

“Ah need ta be alone.”

Ah drove the mini-truck ta school this mornin’ since Ah still had it, and Ah’d just about circled town in it thinkin’ about the story. It’s plausible, but… somethin’ wasn’t sittin’ right with me, and Ah couldn’t figure out what.

Is that really how it happened? Pa… Pa did that ta her? Ah mean… Ah can’t say that… it doesn’t make any sense, he’d just got home from war and his Pa had died. Sad and lonely and… and what about her? Was she just a victim? Or… did she let it happen? Naw, Pa was huge. Mac is just like him, and he was fresh out of the service, if he… if he really wanted ta… he coulda done that ta… just about any mare… but… but he was Pa! He wouldn’t have done that ta Ma, he just wouldn’t… but… but why would Pappy say that otherwise? Did he do it just ta hurt me? Did he do it because he wanted ta make me upset?

Luna said there was more ta the story, but… what else could there be? He always rags on Pa fer bein’ a bad pony, and… and if he did that ta Ma, Ah… Ah can’t say he’s wrong. But… actually, that’s doesn’t make a whole lotta sense. If Pa really did hurt her like that… Ow!

Ah felt a sharp pain at my hip, and Ah whipped around ta see one of those little demonic bastards had pinched me with one of his claws.

“WHAT ARE YOU!?” Ah slammed it with my hoof, and the little monster splattered on the seat. Ah stopped the ATV and wiped the goo off my hoof. Yuck. Goddess, that was gross. The sticky black stuff was warm and felt a lot like the grease that comes off a machine in desperate need of lubrication. Old, dirty oil even. Ah was about ta start up the ATV again, when Ah felt another pinch, this time it hurt more.

“What the…?” Ah turned my head and there was one on my shoulder. Ah slapped it off since Ah didn’t want that oily shit on my uniform, and that was where Ah made my mistake. When Ah turned my head ta see where it went, the bed of the mini-truck was filled with shiny black shells and little red eyes. There could’ve been a hundred of ‘em and they were all swarmin’ around. Ah froze in place, and then the bugs stopped. They all turned, and they focused all eight hundred of those little eyes on me. Can’t really tell emotion on a bug’s face, but these thin’s were definitely angry.

“Holy shit!” Ah ditched the ATV and took off at full gallop. The black wave followed close behind, and they were gainin’ on me.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! Run fer yer life, ya dumb broad! Ah was way in the outskirts of the outskirts town, and ya could hardly see a buildin’ from this far away, even with the fog as light as it was today. Ah was right next ta the river on a dirt road, and ya wouldn’t find ponies anywhere fer at least a couple miles, there wasn’t even a bridge out of town anywhere on this side of the interstate highway.

Ah felt one land on my back hoof and Ah screamed at the top of my lungs. Ah bucked even harder with every step, but it just wouldn’t come off. It started ta cut me with its pincers and it hurt like hell. Ah twisted around and slammed my leg against the ground ta finally kill the little demon, but that gave the other bugs time ta catch up on me. Ah was just about ta get overrun, when Ah heard the music.

Like a love song that vanished in the wind

Or a poster that can’t hang on the wall

I held that present I missed my chance to give away!

“Oh, fuck, kid, you picked a bad time.”

The bugs and Ah froze in place when we saw the big mare on the motorcycle, but then Ah realized what was happenin’ and rolled as fast as Ah could. Celestia fell off the bike, and it tipped and rolled, slammin’ metal and rubber on the spot Ah was just in, killin’ a good number of them bugs. The white mare grabbed me in her magic while her snout was still in the dirt, and threw me behind her. Ah landed hard on my skirt, and then she woozily started ta make a stand. She got up on two hooves, barely stable and clutchin’ her head in the helmet.

“Goddess, what the f- urp did she do to me?” The bugs were on the move again, and they still weren’t done with me. They came close, but just as they reached her, an acoustic guitar appeared in Celestia’s hooves and she golf swung it at the swarm.

TWANG!

The little monsters evaporated en masse, and some of the other ones started ta glitch out, like they were noise on a computer or somethin’.

“W-what are these things even? T-this wasn’t part of my p-plan, you’re… urp you’re too stable f-for me to- URP. Goddess. Did she poison me? N-no, this is alcohol at work… s-she spiked my bee- urp.” The monsters resumed their pursuit and Celestia was barely standin’ in one place. She was swayin’ like a boat on rocky waters and missin’ more than she was hittin’.

“Just fucking die!”

TWANG

She slammed her guitar on another group, but now it was almost as if the little demons had gotten smarter. They came in groups and waves, and Celestia would get distracted by one group and miss another as they attacked in formation. She got pinched once and stomped the little bastard, then got pinched by another two while she was killin’ the other.

“That’s it! I’m too drunk for this shit! F- urp off!” She flipped her guitar around so that it was across her chest and took one of her massive hooves and strummed all six strings at once. The sound was so loud that it was almost defeanin’, but the harmony it made was dark and poignant. The little bugs started ta glitch out again, some of ‘em even evaporated, but it wasn’t enough ta get rid of all of em. She did it again, but even less of the bugs disappeared.

“Oh, for f- urp’s sake!” She raised her other hoof and the green bass appeared in it. She took both guitars by the necks and swung them around in a circle at her side. A tone started ta sound outta the acoustic, and a different one came outta the bass. She spun them again, and then both tones resonated. On her third arc, she slammed both guitar bodies together, and instead of smashin’ the acoustic ta pieces, the instruments merged in golden light ta become somethin’ else. It was some kinda double-necked, gold-rimmed, green-wood guitar that was almost a perfect merge of the two. She flipped the combined instrument around, holdin’ it properly now, and strummed both bridges.

The sound… was like bein’ washed in electrifyin’ warm water. It was as invigoratin’ as it was calm, it was as energized as it was peaceful, it was as orange as it was blue, all kinds of opposites mixed together at once ta create some kind of amazin’ balance that Ah wasn’t sure Ah even understood. As Ah watched her, astounded in the moment, Ah could swear fer an instant that it wasn’t a big, white, unicorn mare Ah was lookin’ at, but a big, yellow, earth pony stallion.

The black demons all glitched in rapid frenzied noise until they screeched and faded out of existence. When the sound started ta dissipate, Celestia turned back ta me and smiled sweetly, almost like a mother would, and then slowly but surely fell on her back. She landed hard on the scrub grass and groaned, less like she was in pain, but more like she felt sick.

“Oooooh, Goddess… URP! I am sooooo fucked tomorrow. I should n-not have done that without the amp. I wish you would’ve h-had yours already. Wouldn’t have b-urp-een so bad if I didn’t have to force resonance. Ugh. Why aren’t you in school? It’s like,” she glared at the sun, “One thirty-eight and twenty-seven seconds.” The pain in my back-left ankle made me limp, but Ah made my way over ta Celestia.

“W-well… Ah uh… When Ah was fightin’ with Pappy yesterday, he said somethin’ Ah didn’t get at the time, but… Luna gave me some information on my parents today, and now Ah’m not sure. Pappy said that Pa r… he um… f-forced himself on Ma. And, my brother was born a little after Pa’s Pa died, and he got home from fightin’ overseas. And… he was 22 and Ma was 16, w-when Mac was born. Pappy always says that Ah act too much like Ma and Ah’ll end up 16 and pregnant like she did, but Ah never… Ah never knew that that really happened. Ah didn’t know how old they were, Ah just knew they were Ma and Pa and we lived on the orchard together. Now Ah… Ah don’t know. Ah don’t know what ta do, what ta think.” The pain in my ankle flared up suddenly and Ah grabbed it and tried ta squeeze the pain away.

“AND THOSE FUCKIN’ THIN’S KEEP POPPIN UP! Gah! What even are they!? Why me!? Damn it!”

Celestia started ta rub at her temples, then her horn lit up fer a second, and the pain was gone. Ah pulled my hoof away, and the blood was still there, but it was like the wound never existed in the first place.

“C-can you like, stop yelling? Goddess, this migraine is going to murder me. Geez. Alright, alright, alright, t-two things. Urp. One, two things can be true at once. If he was a soldier, depressed, and lonely, there is a chance he could’ve taken it out on the first mare he saw that got him hard. Two, he may very well have fallen in love with that mare afterward. L-love is… a weird, weird thing. It hurts you, it makes you feel good, it makes you angry, it makes you happy, it’s the thing that c-can have you feel several emotions at once, and have you not understand why.

So, you don’t know the whole story, and what your g-grandfather says might just be him still bitter at whatever happened. If he believes that your father raped your mother, then he will hate your father f-for the rest of his life with not a chance of reprieve. S-stallions have an instinct to protect mares they’re close to, i-it’s kinda their job. Urp. Goddess, I wish my stomach would settle.

S-so if she came to him crying and saying that somepony did that to her, he may very well have gone out with a gun looking to commit a murder, regardless of the consequences. It flares up anger in p-ponies unlike anything else and it c-can drive ponies to kill each other. Urp. But, the thing that doesn’t make sense to me is you.

I-if he really did rape her, why do you exist? Even further, why does your little sister exist? If you’re kid two, and she’s kid three, how could a rape have started this family? Unless there was some serious Stockholm’s going on, an act of cruelty doesn’t breed mutual love. Now, I’m not a-about to say your dad was as pure as the driven snow, he was a soldier, and a decorated one at that, he’s definitely killed a few ponies before. Doing that… takes a bit of your soul away. We create monsters out of ponies because only monsters can fight monsters sometimes, whether they’re our monsters first or theirs.

If I had a bit for every time a war hardened soldier had raped a mare that I knew about, I would be a very rich pony. I-I wouldn’t condone it, but to come back from that and still be sane while remaining ethical takes a special kind of stallion, and there are only so many of those in the thousands that are sent to battle. There’s only so much you can do with a complicated issue like that.

Your story though? If I were to guess, I would say it went something like this; he gets home, sees his father’s funeral, and goes to a bar to drink his sorrows away. Some pretty little thing walks in, and maybe she’s underage, maybe the bar shouldn’t have let her in, maybe she managed to get a drink because she was young and pretty, and stallions will do anything to get a piece of ass, so maybe the bar looked the other way. If that happened, and he took her home and put a foal in her, then really, that was her fault. She shouldn’t have been there, but nopony stopped her either.

The pony that should have stopped her would be her father. So, if this highly plausible scenario happened, then there is a chance that her father thought better of her, and couldn’t believe that she put herself in this situation. So, there’s the argument between them, then there’s your dad. Ponies’ lives depended on this guy. This guy saved... goddess only knows how many lives. He was awarded an Alicorn Spirit, that’s not something just anypony can get, you have to achieve a deed of such valor that countless lives were saved in the process. A stallion like that understands what it means to be responsible for your actions.

If he found out about getting this young mare he didn’t even know pregnant, then he probably stood up to her father, said it was his mistake and went and married her. Now, a thing you might not know, the male gender is prone to bouts of stubbornness unfathomable to the female side. Stallions can do things and be convicted of these things, even if they’re proved wrong. That isn’t to say mares can’t, it’s just less common on this side. Another thing that is unfathomable to one side and not the other is the loyalty that intercourse can spawn in a mare.

Sex is not impersonal for mares, and it never will be. It is… well, I won’t do that to a filly your age. I forget my audience. Let’s put it this way, if I could ever catch the bastard, I’d probably have a few more of my own. Anyways, your mother, being the young idiot she was, as all young ponies are at some point in their lives, likely thought the world of a stallion willing to fight her father for her. Now, in this situation, who do you think wins? Daddy? Or the stallion whose son she’s carrying? The answer is not her father.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been betrayed before, but that right there? That is like a slap to the face and a spiky pole up the ass. There is not a pony in the world who wouldn’t be bitter about that, and if this all ‘theoretically’ happened to your mother, your grandfather was likely furious beyond words.

So, he straight up kicks her out. Something like, ‘My daughter would never have done that, so you clearly aren’t my daughter,’ but in that southern mudpony flavor. Uh. Don’t… don’t repeat that, please. That was a slur, and you don’t know it, but your grandfather might. So uh. Don’t. I’m sorry.

Anyways, he kicks her out, your parents find out that they love each other in a sort of backwards relationship, and they make another kid. Her father cut ties, so he knows nothing. Somewhere in here, he loses his wife to something, but is still too stubborn to tell his daughter that. She has another kid, but problems come up, and she dies. Devastated by the loss of his wife and feeling an obligation as the ‘Stallion of the House,’ your father tells her father that she’s dead.

Unable to believe, and unable truly stop caring about what happened to his baby, he comes to see you for the first time. He’s devastated. ‘How could this happen?’ is the only thing that he can think because not only is his baby dead, but he sees the family that the stallion he hates with all his heart created not one, but three abominations that love and care for their parents, and even accept her bitter father into their hearts. Twisting, heart-wrenching pain through it all, and what’s worse? One of them looks just like his baby girl used to. He can see the filly she used to be in that little girl, and it brings him nothing but sorrow.

So, time goes on, he likely can’t stand the thought of that stallion he hates alone with his grandkids, so he attempts to be more involved in their lives. In a twist of fate, he begins to see that, maybe, just maybe, this stallion didn’t hurt his daughter the way he always believed, and his kids… are turning out alright. To be proven wrong, so, so very wrong about it all, and cutting his daughter off from his life, only to lose her eight years later… that doesn’t make it better, that makes it worse. All he can do to keep going is to pour his all into his grandkids, and pour his hate into that stallion because otherwise, he might just break.

Then, the unexpected happens. Just when things look like they’ll be fine and the kids are alright, he goes and dies. Not only does he die, he dies a heroic death in saving the lives of a new family. That stallion failed to do his job and finish raising his kids. And what does he do? In his last moments, he says that their grandfather is the only one he would trust his children with, because nopony cares about them more than he does. Even in death, the stallion he hates mocks him further by trusting him with the lives of the ponies that that stallion cared about the most.

In his unending fury, he has no choice but to honor those wishes and do what he can for these foals, if only just to get back at him. ‘Look what I did! I finished your job because you couldn’t! Take that!’ he shouts to the sky as he cries tears of rage. Just as he was beginning to accept this pony, he loses him too. Then, he has you in his life, constantly. Every little thing she does… is just like her mother. She’s pretty like her mother, she’s stubborn like her mother, she’s wild like her father, she’s responsible like her father, and then the fear that it might all play itself out again creeps in.

‘I can never let that happen,’ he says to himself. So, he treats you as strictly as he can, because he’s worried about how you turn out more than anypony else. It’s not just a promise to his wife that he won’t let his daughter end up like this anymore, it’s a promise to her, her daughter, and her son-in-law and his children that yet live. Seeing it happen again would mean that he still failed even after all the mistakes he regrets, and that, would be the day he dies.”

Ah didn’t know what ta say. She said this was all hypothetical, but… it just sounds too close ta true. Celestia started ta rise, and now on four hooves, she looked like she was feelin’ better.

“Well. That took a lot out of me, but I think I’m feeling-” She turned away, heaved and vomited, then fell ta her side clutchin’ her head.

“O-okay, n-never mind,” she said weakly. “W-will you call my bike? I d-don’t think I can get myself home like this.”

Ah imagine she saw the confusion on my face, and then said, “Just… just think about the Harley and he’ll come. G-go put that thing in neutral and tie it to the back, t-there’s a chain in the saddle bags. D-don’t worry about trying to drive, you c-can just… think about where you want to go and he’ll take you there. Oh goddess, Luna, why would you poison me? T-the last two notes are almost ready. I… I can build it, I… I can… get him back…”

“Ugh, nopony is home,” Celestia groaned. She was clutchin’ her stomach and usin’ me as a third leg, and damn it all, was she heavy. Even half standin’ on her own, there is no way this mare don’t weigh twice as much as Mac does.

The drive home was relatively easy, all thin’s considered. The Harley, which Ah think Ah heard her call ‘Somby’ once or twice, really did just kinda operate on his own. It was almost like all Ah had ta do was tell somepony where Ah wanted ta be, and he just… did it. Ah didn’t end up even puttin’ the chain on the ATV, the bike did that on its own when Ah touched the saddle bags. It was… very strange. Ah managed ta support her weight all the way up ta Twi’s room, and once she finally made it ta the bed, she relaxed a bit.

“Oh, thank you, I… this may be more than Alcohol poisoning, or an extreme variety of it. I-I don’t think Luna would try to kill me, but she is definitely trying to keep me stationary for some reason.” Not quite sure what ta say, Ah just stood there awkward like and said the first thin’ that came ta mind.

“Ah uh… thank ya back, Ah guess. Ah’m not dead right now, so… yeah.” She shook her head.

“No, no, I need you alive. You still have to do something for me. S-speaking of, there’s a guitar case in the closet. Take out the green bass and keep it with you wherever you go. The shadows… they will come back. I don’t know what they are yet. A powerful harmony can kill them, but these things are resilient to magic and force, so be careful about that. There’s a melody in you, and if you ever find yourself in desperate need, just reach inside and take hold of it. If you’re overwhelmed, call for Somby and play the chord. He will come… he always does. What are… you doing next?” Ah scratched at my neck.

“Ah think… Ah think Ah’m gonna go see Pappy and figure this out once and fer all. And uh… probably apologize while Ah’m at it.” She nodded and burped.

“Bleh. That’s good… Never forget that in the end, he does what he does out of love. Looking at you and seeing your mother is… painful for him. I know because… when I look at her, I… I see him. I hate how it makes me feel… I would… sacrifice everything to give her what she deserves… to fix what’s broken, but you… don’t have to. Don’t let this stupid argument… break your bonds. Broken bonds… are difficult to repair. Take the bike, when you go. He can out run those things. That little ATV can’t.” And with that, she rolled over and started ta breathe softly.

Well. That reinforces that theory. Ah wonder who all knows? She doesn’t, that much is clear, but… why doesn’t she know? Ah shook my head and figured that it was about time Ah got a move on. Ah took the case outta the closet, but when Ah opened it, it looked empty. It was a black vinyl case made of some heavy-duty plastic as far as Ah could tell, but there was somethin’ weird about it.

No matter which way Ah turned it, Ah couldn’t see the back. Ah put my hoof in ta touch the back, but even though my foreleg went well beyond where this thin’ should end, it kept goin’. By the time Ah’d put my whole shoulder in, Ah finally found the neck of that bass and pulled it out. Ah stared at the case and the bass in my hoof fer a while before Ah decided it better not ta question and move on with life.

My Hoof (Part 2)

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Bran-New Lovesong (Part 1)

Author's Note

Bran-new Lovesong

Bran-New Lovesong (Part 1)

Pinkie

10/11/2013

Well, that happened I guess. Pretty sure the new kid was dead and Twilight and that crazy bitch on the bike brought her back to life. Twilight got eaten by a plastic doll thing that moved on its own, got super powers and wings or something and they beat a shadow to death with an electric bass. What in the loving fuck is actually going on?

New kid is annoying. And she’s better than me at my game. Who the fuck said she could do that? I have to beat her. I can’t stand it. Shiny taught me how to play, I should be better than her. I am better than her. I have to win. It doesn’t matter how many times I lose as long as I can win.

I wish I could get in contact with him. Who doesn’t have a phone in this day and age? My parents are goddess’s damned devouts, and my whole family still has phones. They don’t even believe, how does he not have a phone? Aren’t we the backwards ones? What kind of backwards ass bullshit is that? Whatever.

Dad got on me again for being home late. He doesn’t care, why would he yell at me again? I’m so tired of this house. Maybe he just wanted me at work on time for once. Yeah right, like me shuffling around papers for him is important. I don’t even do the real work that Maud and Limestone do, what do I matter? He doesn’t care, it’s just busy work so I don’t bother anypony at home. That’s all they’re after.

I found a big ol’ lizard hanging out by the mine the other day. He doesn’t have any teeth. I fed him some of my dinner while I was working and then he ran away. Course, that’s not much of a surprise. Everypony runs away from me. Nothing new. Nothing ever changes here.

The blue skies in Underhoof are always the same.

10/15/2013

Twilight spent her lunch yesterday with that one chick and somepony I don’t know. Why would she do that? I thought… isn’t she my friend? I was stuck with new kid that day because she wouldn’t leave me alone. We played a few rounds and I still never managed to beat her. It makes me so angry. Why can’t I hit her? How is she so much better? Every time I think I’ve got her, she just slips away. She’s so annoying. So is that orange chick. Some southern fuck or whatever. Leave Twilight alone! She’s my friend!

Today though, she did eat lunch with me and told me about what happened. Apparently, the white chick’s mom was gonna fuck her dad or something, and then she had a freak out and another one of those monsters popped out of her head. Or Twilight’s head. She thought it was going to come out of her horn, but the other chick fell and hit Twilight’s horn with hers and it… traded heads? She said it was weird and didn’t understand it, so why should I?

That crazy bitch has a new guitar now and it’s like as sharp as a razorblade or something. Scary. Heh. Maybe not. If only she’d had that one first. She could’ve taken care of me like that and I wouldn’t have to. There’s always the quarry though. I can’t get into the gun safe, but the quarry is always an option. Always… an option.

10/21/13

Well, there’s another one now. This one is blue, and she seems… I don’t know, not completely bat shit insane? Why are there two of them? Why are they in Twilight’s house? Why are they taking Twilight to school? I feel like I never see her anymore. Rainbow is the only one I ever spend time with, and I don’t even like her! Now she spends all lunch playing that stupid card game with the tall kid, and she never stops!

It’s so claustrophobic in that room now. I can’t even be near her without four other ponies around at any one point in time, I’m fucking suffocating.

There was another monster, and now there’s another guitar. Apparently, there was a bunny or something and it ate the tall kid. Who gives a fuck? Why does anypony care? Just one more pony that takes up her time. Get out of my life!

I finally beat Rainbow. It only happened once, but it finally happened. But… it was… strange. After I won, she congratulated me. She said, “Hey, look at that! You finally did it! Good job. Wanna go again?” and all with some… stupid smile on her face. What the fuck is that? I finally won! Fuck you, I never want to play again! But… I did play again. And I kept losing, but… I don’t know, maybe that was fun? I don’t get her. She’s so weird.

The lizard came back, and this time I brought it inside. It doesn’t have any teeth and seems to like to hang out on my back. Sometimes it crawls around in my mane. I’ve never had an animal be this friendly to me, so I think I’m going to try and keep it. I’ve decided to name it Gummy. I don’t know what gender it is, but it’s a lizard, so who knows. At least… something likes me.

“Does everypony have their lunches?”

“Yes mom,” my family said in unison. Dad was off to the mine to prepare another shipment of rocks for the haulers to pick up, Maud was helping him, Limestone was getting ready for school with Marble, and I, as always, was trying to escape when I realized I forgot my lunch. Fucking Mondays.

“Damn it,” I cursed under my breath. I ran back to get it.

“Ah, there’s the culprit. Hurry along. You have enough late arrivals as it is, I’m certain you wouldn’t want to be held back, now would you?” Mom talked down to me. I rolled my eyes.

“Whatever.” I grabbed the bag and bolted out the door. Nopony made an effort to stop me, so that’s all there was to that.

I hate going to school, but I hate being stuck at home even more. The lesser of two evils, I guess. After I heard my sisters pass, I opened my bag and let Gummy out. The little lizard seemed delighted to be out in the foggy morning sun and immediately went to play in the shallow water.

The way he acts always bothered me a bit. One minute he’ll be scrambling to move as fast as he can, and the next he’ll just stop and blink slowly. I think he has a lazy eye. It moves slower than the other one, like he tries to focus on things, but it takes a bit.

Of course, it would be the retarded lizard that likes me. Oh well. At least it likes me.

The fog was thick enough that anypony above the bridge wouldn’t be able to see the river, so I wasn’t worried about anypony passing me. This lizard is huge and seems… out of place here. As far as I knew, most lizards lived in warm places, and Underhoof… is not that. They’re very uncommon here, so how this one ended up here is a mystery in and of itself.

“Where did you come from little guy?”

Gummy blinked one eye, then the other followed slowly after, finally making its way to stare at me. He shook his whole body and then scrambled into my bag.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I opened the bag, but the little guy had curled up to sleep. Huh. Guess he’s done for now.

I pulled out my phone and checked the time. 8:35, Monday October 28th, 2013. I looked up toward the road and sighed. If she were coming, she’d already be here. I got up and started heading toward the school.

It was relatively clear overhead this morning, and it was cold and wet outside. Humid as most days are, but the added chill of the wind is just a bonus. It’s not bad when I have somepony to walk with, but for the last few weeks, I’ve been going to school alone or with Marble when I can’t get away. I felt my ears turn when I heard the sound of an engine nearby. Low and grumbly, the constant spinning rumble of something big and smooth. I turned my head as it came closer, and sure enough it was Twilight and the Motor Mare. Surprisingly, the bike stopped by me.

“Oh, hey, you’re still out. Hop on, we’ll get there faster together,” Twilight offered.

That’s a first. Though, I guess they usually beat me to school anyways. I’m the one who’s early today. The big mare put my backpack and Gummy in her saddle bags, and I got to sit in Twilight’s lap.

“As I was saying, chord progression works in a series of jumps, as it were. When you think of a scale, what comes to mind?” the Motor Mare asked.

Geez, fuck if I know. Gummy has scales.

“Lizards?” I said absentmindedly. She shook her head.

“Music dear, music. A scale is the progression of seven notes starting from a root. To make it simple, the C major scale, Ionian mode, whatever you want to call it, goes as follows: C D E F G A B C, or Do Re Me Fa Sol La Ti Do~” she sang.

Ah, that would make more sense.

“Well, those notes in that order, right?” Twilight asked. The Motor Mare nodded.

“Of course. However, if we move on to chords, we can think of those notes as our ‘roots’ instead. Each of those notes becomes the root, or bottom note of a chord. A C major chord starts with C, adds E, the third, and G, the fifth to become that common chord you know. But what about the other notes? Don’t they all make chords as well? Of course they do! However, even in the key of C, we get minor chords out of some of these and that’s where our progression comes in. The C major triad, as it’s known, a triad being three notes played together, is that chord.”

The Motor Mare took her hooves off the handlebars and then took the acoustic guitar off her back and played… I guess whatever she was talking about? I think I was more surprised that the bike just kept up speed and went on driving like she never took her hooves off. I noticed the left side lever push itself in, then a little knobby thing by the left hoof rest flicked up and the bike gained speed… all while the white mare had a guitar in her hooves, and her magic was off. I blinked.

Well, that’s a thing.

“In the major scale, we can take the positions of the notes: one, two, three, four, five, six and seven, and treat those as chords. We represent these with Equuin numerals: capital I, lowercase ii, lowercase iii, capital IV capital V, lowercase vi, and lowercase vii. Now, why are some capitalized, and others not? I’ll play them all to give you a reference for what they sound like, then give me an answer.”

She played that same thing she sang earlier but it sounded… more complicated. Like, a lot was going on all at once. Twilight tapped at her lips.

“Is… hmm. I don’t know. Are the lowercase ones minor?” The Motor Mare nodded.

“That is correct. Think about what you’ve been taught. How many flats are in the F major scale?”

“One.”

“Accidental in the G major?”

“F sharp.”

“So, if you played the major triad in those keys, what would you get?”

“F, A, C and G, B, D.”

“And that means…?”

“Oh, those chords work in this scale too.”

“There we go. Remember the circle. Next to C, are F and G. Every major scale follows the rules, and as such, this pattern is available in all of them. Now then, chord progression is the simple movement from chord to chord. Because this is easier to represent with jazz, we’ll do sevenths. A C major seventh is made of the notes: C, E, G, B, where B is the seventh note in the scale, giving the chord its name. A common progression would be I, IV, V. If we don’t use sevenths, it goes like this.” Dum, dum, dum~ It was bright, but it almost felt like it ended up in a weird place. “If we do, it goes like this.” Bring, bring, bring~ There was more to this one, and it almost sounded… tense, like hearing it made me uncomfortable.

“To the end of using sevenths, we have a much sweeter resolution thanks to the tension the G chord being ‘out of key’ brings us.”

Lower, higher, higher, lower. She played the chords again, and this time, it almost felt… relaxing. Like, there was a release to it that made it all that much sweeter.

“Writing, playing, making music is not unlike writing a story. You have your rises and falls, you build tension and suspense, releases and resolves. It can be bright, it can be dark, it can be sweet, it can be sour. Music of the modern era puts an emphasis on bass and energy, and to be completely honest with you, I hate it. Throbbing passion of an accelerant beat, the need to move to a mindlessly repetitive series of notes.

It’s just like having sex for the fun of it. It never ends well, nopony is satisfied by it, and it always leaves you feeling emptier than when you started. What was it for? Is that all that matters? Just that single moment of release, only to be left in dead silence afterward? Hollow music doesn’t understand that there is more to life than bass.

It’s called ‘Making Love’ because the object is to create. You add to the world by performing a single action, abundance from nothing, the reason we call it a miracle. The only divine thing ponies are capable of. The creation of life. Maybe it’s fun in the moment, but if you can’t answer why without ‘because it feels good,’ then you shouldn’t be doing it at all. To think is to be, and to be is to live. ‘I think, therefore, I am.’

Music does something that words alone cannot; expressing emotion to another pony one otherwise couldn’t communicate. Words in a vacuum lack pitch, tone, and volume. You can write a letter to send a message, but can that alone get across the meaning? The subjectivity of words can give something like ‘takeout’ three meanings. I want to eat takeout, I will take out you for dinner, they’re going to take out that guy. Are we getting food, are we going on a date, or are we committing a murder? It all depends on what comes before and after, and how it’s said.

Ponies inherently understand harmony because it is something that we resonate to deep inside. Emotion and sound are so deeply linked that it is no wonder that the strongest magic requires both. Harmony is Magic. Never forget that.”

10/28/13

With the Motor Mare taking up all our time this morning, I hardly ever got to say anything to Twilight. Just going on about whatever she feels like, harmony, love, sex, magic, what are you even talking about lady? I thought that was supposed to be about music? And even more concerning, the bike was driving itself. I knew it had to be magic or something when I saw it jump the bridge a few weeks back, but the thing just moves on its own? How does that work?

I had plenty of time to think about it today because Twilight was too busy with all her other friends to give me the time of day. The tall kid got a Click too, so now I can’t even play with just Rainbow.

Why do I have to share everything? I share everything as it is, I have three sisters, all of whom are older than me. Well, technically, I’m a few seconds older than Marble, but they like her better because she’s normal and I’m not. Whatever.

These tests are killing me. I don’t even remember going over Equestrian history. Like, why do I need to remember what day what war happened when? Is that even important? I thought it was more important to know why the war was fought than when. This is so stupid. At least it was a half day. Free from school, free from home, and… of course, she and the tall kid are going to do whatever at the tall kid’s house with their cards.

Rainbow followed me to my bridge and so I ended up there alone with her and Gummy. She asked me where I found him, but all I really knew about him is that he showed up by the quarry one day. So… that’s what I said, and then we played more Bash Bros. I won twice today. She says I’m getting better, but we played like 82 three life games. Is it really even worth it if I don’t win more? It’s not going to work until I have a higher ratio… per set. At this point, there’s no way I’ll ever beat her completely, she has too much of a head start. But… maybe one day…

She had to go home after a while though, so I was left alone again. Dad called me four times and I never noticed. I guess I missed a shift or something. When I finally did go home, he asked me where I was and why I didn’t answer his calls. I told him I was just with my friend and forgot my phone that day.

‘What’s the point of giving it to you if you don’t use it? Keep it with you and answer me next time,’ he says. It’s not like I use it much anyways. I only ever talk to Twilight, and I haven’t done that in a few weeks anyways. I feel like shit. I think my cycle is about to start and I don’t want it. Now isn’t the time. Where did you go? Why did you leave me? I’m… so tired.

“I’m telling you, just don’t use that guy. He can’t keep up,” Rainbow said. Tall Kid objected.

“B-but… just look at him! He’s so… so…” Twilight rolled her eyes while Tall Kid got her rocks off.

Geez, can anypony really be that pent up all the time?

“We get it, you like him.” Tall Kid clicked her joy-pros together.

“W-well… maybe just a little…” Rainbow sighed.

“Whatever, he’s just not got the recovery to deal with the top tier characters. If I pick either of the ‘Chus, you'll get auto killed just by me spamming my back air. Just pick… I don’t know, somepony else. Can’t you just use one of the sword characters? Why not Ike, he’s… clearly got something similar going on in his secondary outfit.”

The fourth and undecided player in our game moved over to Ike and finally discovered that you can change colors with the Y button.

Holy shit, I can’t handle this.

When she finally did see the muscle-bound version of the great sword wielding pony, she seemed pleased. When I looked at him, and then at the other guy she likes to play, I noticed they both had red coats and orange or yellow manes. Well, that and the fact that they were jacked.

Doesn’t that look like somepony I’ve seen before?

“O-oh. He’s um… well made.” I sighed.

“Can we play now?” Rainbow hit start and nodded.

“Yes.”

After finally beginning the game, it was as clusterfucky as ever since we were doing casual matches for Tall Kid. Items, randomized stages, Rainbow and I playing as random characters while Twi learned new stuff with hers and the Tall Kid… did whatever. She mostly taunted to make the guy pose, occasionally getting mad at whoever and coming after us, but then getting beaten to death since we know how to play the game. Eventually, she got frustrated enough and asked to be taught how to fight, so Dash took her alone and began the training session. Finally, getting some time alone with her.

“Hey, can we… talk?” I asked after we’d played a few rounds.

While Rainbow was leagues above both of us, Twilight and I had a more even record, though I usually won. We played a lot together after I got my Click a few weeks ago, but just like everything else, it felt like this had also fallen off.

“Sure, what’s up?” She never looked away from the screen.

Always so focused on what’s in front of you. Won’t you look at me?

“No, I mean… like, go somewhere else. In private, I guess.”

She stopped her assault and finally looked at me. She’d been… happier lately. I could see it in her eyes, those sparkly golden violet pools, vibrant and brighter than usual. They’re just so pretty. Nopony I’ve ever seen has eyes like she does. Even Shining’s eyes were… never like this.

“Well… I guess, but I’ve got a guitar lesson after school today, so we might not-” the orange kid came by and put a hoof on her shoulder.

“Hey, are ya ready?” I felt my eye twitch. This bitch. If it’s not her, it’s somepony else. They always come like this when they take her away from me. I wanted to growl at her.

“Oh! Geez, it really is already time, isn’t it? I guess. Are you driving, or…?” Orange girl nodded. Apparently, when your grandparents are rich enough to just do whatever, they buy you a brand new motorcycle every now and again. Of course, I don’t even know my grandparents, so whatever. Take a course and get a license at thirteen, she’s ‘disadvantaged’ so she gets ‘special privileges.’ Bullshit. Always happy, always smiling, always helping. Fuck you.

“Yeah, Ah think Ah’ve got a real good handle on ridin’ double now. Haven’t dropped it yet, so that’s pretty good.” Twilight shrugged.

“As long as you’re comfortable, I guess I don’t have a problem. Your brother was the test rider, right?” she nodded.

“He was. Big fucker’s heavy. But, Ah can still keep it upright with him on, so y’all shouldn’t be much of anythin’ by comparison. You’re half his size, so it shouldn’t be a problem at all.” Twilight got up and then put her Click away.

“Sorry Pinkie, we’ll have to hang out another time. I was the one who asked her to do this, so if we don’t go… Celestia will find us.” Twilight shivered. “Of the few things I do know about her, the fact that she can find me no matter where I am is one of them. Bye girls!” She waved to those who remained, and they all waved back. Except for me. I turned my head and rested it on the back of my chair.

“Sure.” I don’t know what made me feel worse. The way she looked at me, or her walking away. I hate it. I hate this. I hate everything.

“Burn, burn, burn it all!”

Gummy was scrambling around, playing with the half sandwich I gave him in that frantic, almost panicked way of his, while I was mashing buttons and slaughtering hundreds by the second. My stupid screen was blurry and kept getting wet, but it wasn’t raining, and the fog was thin.

The flames engulfed my victims just like the empty feeling filled me. Like a Burning Blaze, overflowing and spilling out every orifice, searing my insides and withering my hollow core. But, it was never enough. It just kept burning because the stupid shell around it wouldn’t break. Try as I might, downing in the flames, the void wouldn’t just take me.

When it was too blurry to see the game anymore, I put the Click back in my bag and curled up under the bridge.

Why won’t it stop? Why won’t this awful feeling go away? Why did they leave me?

I don’t know how long I’d been here, but eventually, Gummy crawled up between my legs and went limp on my belly. I sniffed and wiped at my eyes.

At least I have you. I stroked the little guy and he arched and happily paddled his claws at my touch.

“Well, you might be slow, but at least… you’re here.” The little black lizard rolled to standing, and one, then two purple eyes focused on something to our left.

“Hey, I’m not that slow. I know I don’t race anymore, but it’s not like I’ve gotten fat or anything. I hope.”

There was Rainbow, hovering silently on those little cyan wings of hers, grabbing at her belly under her blazer. Her hooves stopped without catching anything but loose fabric. Were it me on the other hoof… there would be plenty of not fabric.

Heat finding its way to my cold cheeks, I wiped at my face and looked away.

“What are you doing here? Isn’t your house on the opposite side of town?”

She made her way to sitting, making sure to keep her skirt under her as she found a spot on the slightly wet concrete next to us.

“It’s not that far away actually. Just on the other side of I-90, down the road. Technically, I live on River Road too.” I huffed.

“That doesn’t change the fact that you have no reason to be here.” She shrugged.

“As long as I don’t have to make dinner, I go wherever I want. This place is really pretty at dawn and dusk, so I like to explore. Besides, if I wait here, dad will pass us on the way home. I can just get in the car at that point, so actually, it’s less work for me.”

I blew air out my lips and rolled my eyes.

“Pfft. This place. Pretty? Fucking rich. You haven’t spent your whole life here. Of course you would think that. Go away.” Irritated now, she grabbed my shoulder and made me look at her.

“Pinkie! Come on, just… be friendly, damn it! You look like shit! I thought you were gonna cry after I saw you leave, and you were when I found you! Talk. To. Me! I… wanna be your friend, alright?” I pushed her off and turned my head.

“I don’t need friends. I don’t need anypony. I… I’m fine.” Rainbow groaned.

“Oh my goddess, that is so bullshit. Fine, whatever. You can just suffer.” For a minute there, something inside me was afraid she was actually going to leave. I didn’t want her here. But I didn’t want her to go either. I don’t really know what I wanted, but I didn’t want anything to change. Change… brings heartache.

Instead of actually doing that, though, Rainbow took a stand out of her bag, placed her Click on it, then plugged in a wired controller to the system. She took the joy-pros off and left them at my hooves, then began to do NPC matches. Eventually, Gummy made his way out of my skirt and then climbed up on top of her head. While we were both confused at the new development, after he just… stopped moving, she shrugged and went on as if this was normal. The thin fog changed from golden to orange with the sky, until it had gained that kind of pinkish-orange hue it always has right at sunrise. It’s always like this. It’s always been like this. Underhoof isn’t supposed to change.

“When I was nine, my mom died in an accident at work. My dad was one of the lead engineers on the project, and he was also the one that made the design. They met for the first time years and years ago while they were both new recruits at the same branch. She was supposed to be this new ace pilot, and he was just another stallion looking to make a name for himself. He always wanted to bring those spaceships he drew to life, and the easiest way to do that was to join the Air Force and hopefully make it into EASA afterward.

When she came back from her first mission unscathed and without problem, it was clear that she was something special. He was her operator, and over their time together, I guess… she must’ve found something to like in that mess. They got married a few months later. I was born the next year.

My dad… is a weird guy. Obsessive, competitive to a fault, it’s hard to pull him away if he’s working on something, and dude has a memory like no other. He can tell you all the attacks and specials everypony has in half the Road Fighter games, and he can tell you all the frame data for those games as well. Tournament level player for most of his life. He used to be a really good flier back in the day too, but his cutiemark ended up lending itself toward machine design, so that’s what he stuck with. It really was the perfect fit for him because he loves tinkering with things and drawing blueprints. A real technical guy, my dad.

Mom was… geez, could any two ponies be any more different? She always called herself arrogant, but she believed that hard work could achieve anything. She could fly fast and high, she’d set records back in her home town, and she was an Equestrian air track star. While dad was inside, mom was out and doing whatever she could to enjoy the sun. She could talk to anypony like she’d known them their whole lives, and she was always just happy to be around and be involved.

Naturally, she was pretty competitive too, so she was the lady you avoid when you went to a kid’s soccer game. When she got vocal, dad got vocal, and when they were both vocal, it was hard to hear anything but them. I think my decision to get into flying back when I was real little was solely based on the freakin’ street brawl mom got into with one of the other moms at a soccer game once. She was… not welcome back, to say the least.

That was the other thing about mom. Dad is pretty placid. He doesn’t show it when he gets mad, and really, I still don’t know what that looks like. Mom on the other hoof was… well, let’s just say my temper comes from somewhere. I just spent the day fuming and planned to fight somepony after school on that first day a few weeks ago. Mom would’ve started a fight right then and there. She wasn’t a mare you fuck around with.

Ya know, looking-” Finally, I’d had enough.

“Holy shit, will you stop talking if I play?” Rainbow let a little smirk crawl up her lips.

“Maybe… maybe I’ll even… leave you alone if you beat me.”

Challenge accepted.

Now that I was in the game, it was a bit easier to stand her endless talking. Only a bit though. She lied to me. She had never planned on stopping. She just wanted to play with somepony.

“Ponies used to tell me how much I looked like my mom. How much I acted like her, how much I was like her. I always looked up to her, I thought she was everything. Dad was… kind of in the background. He loved me, and he would get just as riled up as she did at events and stuff, but he was never so… alive at home, ya know?” I shook my head and prepared a bash as she was trying to get back to the stage.

“No, really, I don’t. Please, keep talking, maybe I’ll figure it- oh, what? Fucking counters.”

“Come on, I do that all the time. Stop. At least while I have a counter. You know who has them and who doesn’t. You’re playing one. Anyways,”

“Ugh.”

“When I found out what happened, I immediately blamed Dad for it. They always worked together, and he was so excited to get the assignment that he ignored us for months basically. If the plane exploded due to an engine failure, that was on him because that’s what he always said he did. He designs engines. That was his job. It was… a dark few years after that.

When I was little, I tried to be like mom, so I talked to anypony and everypony. I would make friends with anypony, even if it was just superficial. I had a lot of friends and I knew a lot of ponies. When mom was gone though, I pushed everypony away. I hated the attention, I hated hearing them talk about me, I hated hearing them talk about her. I got in fights, and just like mom, I was brutal and violent. Dad was still his silent self and nothing was ever resolved, so I kept taking my anger at him out on other ponies, and eventually, I broke somepony’s legs.

Doesn’t matter how old you are, that’s a criminal offense. Murderous intent or something like that. I spent a month in juvie, and I would’ve done longer if Dad hadn’t pulled some strings with some old friends in high places. Once Dad and I finally started to play games together and talked through all the shit that had happened, it was almost like I was normal again. Of course, ‘normal again’ and ‘rehabilitated’ are two different things. Ponies in the big city still knew who I was and what I did, so they wanted nothing to do with me.

Moving here… really was one of the best things that ever happened to us. We both escaped our pasts and things… are finally okay. Everypony knows about what I did. They all know I have a criminal record, but… ya know, most ponies don’t seem to care. Nopony is afraid of me. Hell, half of them wanted to meet me. I went to church last week, probably for the first time since mom died, and instead of shunning us, some of them wanted to know if I wanted to get into boxing. They were impressed that I could’ve accomplished what I did being as little as I am.

How weird do you have to be to look at somepony like me and think, ‘Hey, she beat the shit out of some kid, maybe she’ll join our gym?’ Nopony cares, and most of them are just happy to have me. Well… okay Trixie cared, but you can’t win ‘em all, right?” I rolled my eyes.

“Trixie is a plague. The world would be better without ponies like her.” Rainbow shook her head.

“Hey, don’t say that. Not everypony is… in a good place. I know I wasn’t, and after talking to Rarity about it, I… let’s just say that I would rather go back to juvie than deal with what she’s got going on.” I frowned.

“Huh? Come on, it’s Trixie. She’s always been like that.” Rainbow shrugged.

“Yeah, and that’s… kinda sad, honestly. Some of it might be her personality, but mostly… I can’t blame her for it. Is she a piece of shit? Yeah. But the scary thing I’ve learned lately is that there’s always a reason for everything. As much as ponies like to think it, not everything is black and white. Ponies make choices, and sometimes those choices lead to bad places, even if they were made with good intentions. Everypony would be blessed if we all had dads like Applejack’s. To still be… okay even after losing both her parents says a lot about how she was raised, ya know?”

Oh… I… didn’t even know.

“I… guess.”

“But, that’s the thing. Not everypony gets a dad like that, and not everypony ever meets somepony like that. I like to think ponies are capable of being like the hero her dad was, but it takes a level of initiation, and not everypony has the will to do it, ya know? Like, take my dad for example. He killed his wife. On accident, no less. That’s grounds for wallowing in self-loathing until you kill yourself, right? But, seeing me lash out at other ponies to the point of almost killing somepony kinda woke him up.

He told me that he was being selfish, like that. He wasn’t the only one mom dying hurt, and he couldn’t even see that. Neither could I. He had to do something to fix it, and he…” Rainbow giggled and shook her head. “He said he was sorry for not looking at me. What kinda loser says that? There are so many other words he could’ve used, but… I’ll never be able to unhear that. The way he said it… it meant a lot to me. Suffering sucks, but… suffering alone sucks more. I guess… what I’m trying to say is…”

She stretched a wing out and put it on my shoulder. “I’ve been there, and I can help. If you’ll let me.” I chomped hard into my lip and preemptively wiped at my eyes.

This dumb, blue pegasus with that stupid, bashful smile on her face. Fuck you. How dare you make me feel-

“But if you don’t, I’ll keep bothering you until you do. I’m persistent like that. Mama didn’t raise a quitter.”

And the water works are canceled. I sighed.

“Nothing will make you go away?” She smiled big and bright.

“Nope!” I sighed and let my head droop.

“Well, I guess if you won’t leave-” A car honked and stopped my sentence. We both turned to see a bright red Viper pulled over on the side of the road by the bridge.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” In the car was a pretty big dude with a pale purple-blue coat and a rainbow striped mane. His face was covered in a scraggly thin coat of darker purple that might’ve been some attempt at a beard, and he was dressed in a military uniform.

“Playing a game with my friend!” she answered the stallion. Then she turned to me and gave me a cruel smile. “Can we have her over for dinner?” The yellow eyed stallion smiled.

“Sure! Hop on in!” Rainbow gave me another kind of smile, and somehow, I felt like I couldn’t get out of this. I retrieved Gummy from her mane and let air out of my lips.

“Fine.”

“Bullshit. Who do you think you are, using a rage art on me? That’s not even okay,” Rainbow complained.

“You were the one who threw out a button. All I did was punish you…” Rainbow’s dad’s character side stepped Rainbow’s kick and then a sort of cutscene happened. While her character’s hind leg was still in the air, the stallion in the hood threw out a hard right covered in red lightning and then the guy in the coat was stunned. The guy in the hood punched him a billion times, then the screen followed his hoof as he curled it up and red lightning sparked all over it. With a heavy grunt he threw it out and slammed it right in the other guy’s face.

“KO!”

Rainbow leaned her head back and sighed. She took her fight stick and put it down on the coffee table in front of the TV and then went to the kitchen.

“I’m honestly a little upset you didn’t EWHH me. I know you can.” She reared up to the counter and started to wash her hooves. The older ‘male Rainbow’ leaned back on the couch and brought his hooves behind his head.

“Rainbow, I’m an old man now. I’ve got arthritis in my carpus, I can’t do frame perfect inputs like I used to. Besides, the Rage Art is flashy and something your friend can understand. Electrics are just impressive to ponies who know what they are.”

Rainbow groaned and then angrily opened the fridge. She hit a button on the oven and then started lining up food on the counter.

“Whatever. You did that just to show off. You know the hook hoof combo is worth more. There was a wall there too. You left damage on the table.” Old rainbow put his hooves behind his head.

“Maybe I did.” Then he looked at me. “So, are you from around here? I’m Bow Dash, by the way. We’ve always been bad at introductions.”

The older pegasus held a left forehoof to me and I shook it gingerly. Actually seeing him up close was almost a little scary. He had a tattoo on his shoulder that looked not unlike a cloud with wind coming out of it over a goddess brand, and he was way bulkier than I’d initially thought under his jacket. His grip wasn’t super hard though, so maybe I was freaking out over nothing.

“Uh, Pinkie Pie. I was born here.” He nodded.

“Oh, so you are one of the Pies. I met the rest of your family the other day. Nice ponies. You and your mother look almost exactly alike.”

I bit into my lip to fight off a groan. No we don’t. I don’t look a damn thing like them.

“Oh… I see.” I pulled my hoof away and found my skirt to be the most interesting thing in the room right now.

Of course he met my family. She said she went to church, they’re always there and I never am. Great, now I get to have the same fight with Rainbow’s dad that I did with my parents. Why won’t you come with us? What do you mean you don’t believe? How could you turn your back on the goddess like that?

“So… any interest in learning the game?” he asked. I brought my head up and looked at him like he’d just spoken another language.

“I’m sorry?” He gestured at the TV.

“This one. Tournament of the Iron Hoof 7.”

He… wants to teach me the game? He’s not going to attack me about faith?

“Hey! I’m the one who gets to put my friends through the ringer! Don’t you go stealing my fresh meat!” Rainbow yelled at her dad. He smirked and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Somepony has to entertain our guest while dinner is made. Somepony also lost while she had the advantage.” Rainbow rolled her eyes.

“Whatever, that was round four. I wasn’t not making dinner tonight anyways.” Her dad chuckled.

“Oh, come on Rainbow. One of these days, you’ll beat me. Not with sloppy hoofwork like that pathetic display, but one day.”

Rainbow growled and pointed a hoof at him.

“You are so dead! I get to pick the next game!”

There was a change in the air. Rainbow’s dad stood up and raised himself to his hind legs. He leaned in such a way that I wasn’t sure how he was balancing himself like that, then put a hoof over his stomach, rested his elbow on that, then curled his hoof under his chin.

“Oh? You’re challenging me? Instead of running away, you want to fight again?”

Immediately, Rainbow raised to the same position and started walking over toward the couch.

“I can’t kick your ass if I don’t fight you again.” Her dad smiled and held his forehooves out.

“Very well then! Fight as much as you like!”

Without any warning, Dash threw a punch at her dad’s stomach, which he blocked and pushed away. Using the momentum, she swung around and threw a back hoof at his face. He flapped his wings and moved out of the way, then she launched after, bringing her back hoof down.

Punch, block, punch, block. Hovering in mid-air while fighting now, Rainbow saw an opening and then tried to hit the older stallion with an uppercut. In an instant though, he caught her leg and spun her around.

“Weak! A child could never compare to a soldier’s power!” He threw her into a wall across the room, which then made me notice how sparse the decoration was around this house.

“I’m not a kid anymore!” Rainbow kicked off the wall and charged into her dad head first. The stallion’s belly caved in, and to the floor the two crashed. Laughing now, they rolled on the carpet until her dad had her in a head lock and was mussing up her mane.

“Damn it! Ha- Stop it! Let go of me, you old fart! Your stupid beard is itchy!”

“Is that so? Take this! Your struggle is useless, useless, USELESS!”

He rubbed his face against hers while he tickled her stomach, and the poor filly couldn’t do anything but struggle and laugh. Eventually she got a free hoof and managed to sock the guy right in the snout. Her dad finally let go, and she rolled over to breathe.

“Goddess… I thought… I was gonna piss myself… ha ha.” He nursed his snout and took a deep breath himself.

“Geez, you coulda said that. Damn.”

He wiped at it some more, then licked some blood off his hoof. “That guy was right. Maybe we do need to get you into the ring.”

A loud beep beep beep rang through the house and then Rainbow got up and went back to the kitchen.

“Oven’s up. These will be done in fifteen.”

Mr. Dash got up and stretched, then came back to sit with me on their couch. I’m still not entirely sure what I just witnessed, but it was… the opposite of how my house was.

“Alright Pinkie, we’ve got fifteen minutes before she gets done. Grab Noctis, and I’ll teach you how to beat Rainbow one hundred percent of the time.” He passed me her fight stick, and then directed me to pick the pretty boy in the top right.

“Oh, my goddess, what the hell Dad!?” The darker blue pegasus looked up and smiled at his daughter.

“Learn to block or die!”

“NEVER!”

They laughed again, and over the next few hours, I was taught and learned a few moves of this character. I even managed to cheese Rainbow to death with a few moves a couple times, so I’m not sure if I’m getting it or she’s just bad. It was a weird night, but I heard something that I haven’t in a very long time, and that was… the sound of my own laugh. What happened? How long has it been that I actually enjoyed myself? When I didn’t feel bad about what I was doing, or that everything I did was meaningless?

How long… have I been like this?

“Sorry, Dad and I are going to visit that gym today. I thought about it yesterday and figured, what the hell, why not? It might be fun.”

Oh, okay…

“I’d already promised Fluttershy that I’d watch the new episode with her today. Look, I’ll be free over the weekend alright? And we don’t even have school next week, so we can hang out then whenever.”

Yeah, if your other ‘friends’ don’t take up your time first. Whatever.

I went home after school and decided that with nothing else to do, I might as well clock in and do ‘my job.’ Dad is a fucking slob. A disorganized mess. Anytime I do anything around the mine, it’s shuffle papers around. I never get to go actually work the rock with my sisters, not after I almost dropped a stone face on Limestone, which was definitely an accident, whether or not she believes it. I spend hours here organizing all his shit and then nopony says anything to me about it later. At this point they don’t even complain about whether or not I do it.

This house, these ponies, my family. It’s like I live in a bubble of silence. The only thing in this big empty building is me, and even when we’re all here, it feels like I’m the only one who ever makes noise. Has this always been like this? It makes me wonder if there was a time when we ever got along. It feels… so stagnant here.

I’ve always been the odd one out. If it weren’t for the fact that Marble and I came out together, it wouldn’t have been hard to think my father doesn’t really belong to me. Mom and I have the same eyes, so they say. Somepony somewhere in my family is also pink… so they say.

When? Where? On whose side? I have feathers on my shoulders. Does that mean there were pegasai in the family at some point too? None of my other sisters do. Who knows about my parents, they’re always wearing something. I don’t even know what their cutiemarks are. Do I know anything? Who are these ponies I live with? Am I really related to them? Is mom really my mother? How can I be here and be told all these things, all with the expectation that I believe them? Where does fact begin, and what goes under fiction?

Fuck, I need some music or something. A way to be distracted.The empty work of skimming files and putting them in boxes for Dad to never read later always gets me like this.

I wish he was here. He could serve as my distraction. The only pony who told me he cares, the only one who I can remember saying, ‘I love you,’ feeling him when he really meant it. She says she cares. But she’s never said that. I try and try and try, but she still won’t say it. And now… it feels like… I’m losing her.

I felt like I was about to sneeze, but I knew that wasn’t the truth.

In the office, I dug around until I found the hidden drawer under dad’s paperwork and took out a few of his cigarettes and threw them in my pocket. I was mostly done here anyways, so if I go now, nopony will stop me.

When I take a deep breath and the smoke fills me inside, I’m relieved because I can finally feel something again. I’m not dead yet. I’m still here. Empty, alone, silent, but alive.

The ash drips into the river, and the still water ripples around it. In the moonlight on this cold October night, I am here. Filled with a burning stench that I hate to love and love to hate. In a sentence, me.

I texted her, hoping she might come meet me, but in the end, I never did get a response. The violet had given way to black, and the sky above was lit with star upon star, little glittering reminders of something overhead.

“If there’s so much out there, beyond this place, how… did I get stuck here?”

“It’s simple, really. You just didn’t have a choice in the matter.”

My whole body shook and I backed away from the source of the sound as quick as I could.

What the fuck? Who the fuck? Why the fuck?

The Motor Mare took a puff of her own… cigar I guess, based on the size, and then let her hooves rest on the guardrail while she stared up at the stars. It smelled vaguely sweet, almost like cinnamon and sugar wafting lightly through the air. Nothing like the dirt that dad smokes. And I guess, the dirt that I smoke. Finally, my body relaxed, and I got back up on the guard rail and took another hit.

“What are you doing here?”

She’s the one that started all this shit. She’s the reason Twilight’s been talking to other ponies, the reason all these other ponies are talking to Twilight, the reason… Twilight doesn’t have time for me. It’s her fault.

“Sometimes… I wonder that myself. A vagabond, a deadbeat, an exile, a warlord, a conqueror, a queen, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a murderer, a widow, an adulteress. I’ve collected so many titles over the years that I simply don’t know which one suits me best anymore. For now, I keep the name Celestia and hope that it means something to somepony else. With any luck, time has faded me from the minds of those I knew, or… maybe they’ve all passed on by now and left me behind. Only I retain my many titles and the ponies I meet will never know them. If there is one thing that is certain, ‘deadbeat’ is the one I live up to best. I hate that one the most. What about you, little one? What are your titles?”

My titles? What is she talking about? More nonsense from the mare who never says anything coherent?

I took another puff and blew out some shapes in my smoke. I’ve always been able to make shapes I like with it. Apparently, my tongue is ‘amazing’ or something like that. Balloons, piñatas, cakes, party hats. It all comes easily and naturally. It used to make him smile. I loved that smile.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to answer a question with a question?” I finally asked.

Again, without warning, I was suddenly enveloped by the big white unicorn’s magic. I blinked and then my position was different. There was warmth and a new texture all around me, and the stars were closer than they had been before. The billions of lights in the black, no, blue and red and violet. It wasn’t just dark out there, there were colors all around. Colors I couldn’t see before.

“Was it like this, the first time?” she whispered. She was holding me tightly and pressing me to her chest, her lips softly nuzzling my neck. My body reacted before I could, my back straightening, my skin feeling something so light and sensitive that I wanted to turn and find hers. Before I could face her, she grabbed my head and made me look up.

The stars had arranged themselves in such a way, that I could see a shape in them, but not make it out. A hoof had made its way between my thighs and suddenly everything tensed up and I gasped. A golden line started to draw itself between the stars until finally, I understood the shape. It was a cutiemark. It was his cutiemark, it was… hers. That was right, wasn’t it? This is how it started, all the way back then.

“Yes♥”

“Do you ever wonder… why she lets you do it?” Celestia asked.

I couldn’t look at her, I couldn’t so much as move my face away from her chest. I’d wrapped myself so tightly around her because… if I let go, I’ll only fall. Here, at the top of the suspensions of the bridge, was like all there was to my world, and she… was everything. He was everything. She is everything.

“I always do. I always push myself on her, and at first, I thought it was because… she felt like he did. But the more I… the more I did it, the more I… thought it wasn’t the same. Why…? Why did he leave?” The big white mare stroked my mane and held me tight.

“I couldn’t tell you. Honestly, I doubt there are many who know at all. But I believe… that you know.”

I bit into my lip. I bit so hard that I could taste blood. I pressed myself against her tighter. Her shirt had gotten so wet, and it was all… because of me.

“But I don’t understand! Why did he have to go? Why… couldn’t he stay? Why…” With her insane strength, Celestia removed me from herself and made me look her in the eyes. Those sparkly golden violet eyes. I’d seen them before. So many times, looking at me like this.

“I don’t know. But Pinkie, in my years, I’ve come to understand that in truth… we really, don’t know anything. They once called me the wisest mare in the world, and for the longest time, I couldn’t understand why. I don’t know anything. Ponies have learned so much over the centuries together that I, as an individual, could never know it all. In comparison to the wealth of knowledge we have to offer, I might as well know nothing. And that is when I understood.

I know that I know nothing. These other ponies think that I know something because they themselves know nothing. They only realize that I know I know nothing, which makes them believe that I know something. Because I can speak the truth. So, I don’t know anything. Why don’t you tell me something? If you truly want me to speak the truth, then I must be given the knowledge. Why does she let you do it?”

I sniffed and swallowed.

“I don’t know…”

“And that, is a lie. What is your relationship to him?”

“I… don’t know.”

“Wrong. What is your relationship to her?”

“I… I really don’t know!”

“Lies! Speak the truth! Who are you!?”

“Pinkamena Diane Pie!”

“Where are you?”

“Underhoof, South Dartmoor, Equestria.”

“Why are you here?”

“Because… I don’t know how to live.”

“Neither does anypony else. Tell me something girl, do you hate your family?”

“I… don’t know.”

“False. Tell me the truth.”

“I hate them, alright!?”

“Untrue, but closer to the truth. Continue.”

“Okay, I don’t hate them… I… don’t understand them. I hate the silence. Nopony speaks. The house is so quiet all the time that I can never tell if anypony is home. If they are home, then they’re all doing something mutely on their own. Dad will be managing the paperwork, Mom will be getting something ready for dinner, Maud will be studying and reading about new mining techniques, Limestone does whatever the fuck Limestone does, and Marble will be reading alone.

I’ve tried to talk to Maud about my problems before, but she never listens. I can never tell if she’s even there half the time. Limestone can go fuck herself. Crybaby, the useless twin, dipshit, dumbass, pink moron, it’s like she’s got a new insult every day. I swear if I ever got the chance and she was at the edge of the quarry…”

“No you wouldn’t.”

“No I wouldn’t.” I sighed and looked at my hooves. I don’t remember them being so dark at the tips. I need to get them cleaned or something.

“Marble… I don’t understand Marble. She never says anything bad, sometimes she says something nice, but I could count the words she’s said to me in the last month with my hooves. Too placid, too passive, the baby. Mom and Maud might as well be the same pony, if she does talk to me, it’s just to tell me I’m being an idiot and to do something else. Like, what the fuck? Why do you get to talk down to me about everything I do? And Dad, ooh, fuck that guy!”

“Incest is a punishable offense, please don’t.”

“And fuck you too! Goddess, you know what I mean.”

“Only if you tell me the truth. I can’t interpret what you don’t say.”

“Ugh, I hate him, okay!? ‘You shouldn’t do this, you shouldn’t do that, that boy is a bad influence, what did he do to you, where did my daughter go?’ Where are you? Why are you never here? Why aren’t you fun like Rainbow’s dad? Why is our family three times the size as hers and half as loud!? I live with dead ponies, and they all have a pulse! You didn’t used to look at me like that, what happened to you!? I don’t understand what changed. I don’t understand why they changed. I don’t understand why everything is so quiet. I don’t understand… why they won’t look at me anymore. Why did they change?”

“Idiot!”

Without warning, Celestia pushed me off her lap and off the bridge tower. It was almost like, time had slowed. I fell, and fell, and fell, and slowly but surely, the ground started to get closer. I didn’t scream. I wasn’t afraid. If anything, I felt relieved. The shell would finally be broken, and the void would finally take me.

Of course, it was never that easy. Just as it looked like this was the end, the motorcycle caught me and I landed in a big, plush seat. The big white mare jumped down from the bridge, and landed so hard that her hooves made an impression on the road.

“Have you learned, nothing!? What foolishness, what folly, how foolhardy! Stupid girl, have you no eyes!?”

I turned around and backed into the seat as far away from the big scary mare as I could.

“Goddess, what did I do!? Why are you getting all medieval on me?”

The white mare raised a hoof like she was about to slap me, and I cowered away. When nothing ever came, I opened my eyes and Celestia was shaking her head.

“How pathetic. A fear of pain, but no fear of death. I’m taking you home. This has gone on long enough.” With a heavy hoof, she grabbed me by the back of the neck and threw me between her legs as she mounted the motorcycle.

“Hey, what the hell? I thought-”

“Lies! Lies, lies, lies! You have yet to think! Had I no use for you, I would have let you die right then and there! Time and time again, I’ve told myself that children are stupid, but you! Oh, you are the crown jewel above them all! Not only are you an idiot, you are a blind idiot. You can’t tell the difference between affection and abuse. You think love looks like lust and lust looks like love. You’ve thrown away the most precious gift you can give, and you don’t even realize it! How could one so thoughtless have become a note? How did you ensnare her into your heartless love? Disgusting.”

On the way home, we drove in silence. I think I was attacked. With words, I guess, but attacked no less. And I… just don’t understand.

One minute she holds me like him, the next like… like mom used to, and then… then she does that. Why did she… turn like that? Was… is it my fault?

She parked outside the estate and instead of making me get off, she turned off the engine and then put her hooves around my belly.

“My… darling, idiot, Note of Hope, let me tell you a story.

There was once an array of light bulbs. They were hung above a small river on either end, and they were used during celebrations that happened for weeks at a time that ran well into the night. A bulb in the center notices something has changed. He looks and looks and looks, but he’s unsure as to what has happened. As it gets darker that night, he then realizes that it is dimmer than it was. He asks the ones he can see if they’ve gone out. They all seem to shine so bright, but none of them have stopped shining, so why is it dimmer?

The other light bulbs look at him, but none can seem to speak. ‘Why won’t you answer me? Why won’t you answer me?’ he asks them all in frantic succession, but none answer him. Suffering in silence, he finally gives up. None of the bulbs will speak, but none will admit to being dimmer either. In his sorrows, he looks to the water. Finally, he understands.

It was his own light that went out. None of the other bulbs had the heart to tell him, so they kept it to themselves out of love, out of shame, out of sorrow for the dead bulb. Now that he understood, he wept.

‘What happened to me?’

I don’t understand anything. What the hell did she mean? Why would she tell me a story like that? Why… did she act the way she did? I couldn’t figure it out. I finished my test today, and I was beginning to wonder if my absences were anything to worry about.

These tests suck. I could swear they didn’t used to be this hard. Every time I get to a new page it’s like I’m trying to translate a sentence in Equuin to Equestrian. I’m not even in the hard class, so what happened?

When I was finally free and the bell rang to signal the end of class, I went over to the other 7th grade room in the girl’s school to see what she was up to. As per usual, they were all together. The orange earth pony, the white unicorn that wasn’t Celestia, Rainbow, Tall Kid, and Twilight. My Twilight. It was weird though, none of them were playing any games today and they were all gathered around the orange kid with a book in her hooves.

“What is that?” Rainbow asked.

“A yearbook. Ah was thinkin’ about some stuff, and since Ah got my cutiemark the other day, Ah figured Ah’d see what Ah looked like last year,” Country Kid said.

Rainbow pulled up her skirt, and sure enough, there was a mark there. Three apples.

Weird, I thought she lived on a pear farm.

“Dude, nice! How long ago did that happen?” Orange Apples raised her snout and bumped her chest with her hoof.

“Last weekend. Did ya see my guitar?” Rainbow nodded.

“I did. I guess that explains the marks all over the fretboard. Did you have it personalized? It looks… very you I guess.” Apple Orange shook her head.

“Nah, Ah’ll tell ya about it later. Hey! Let’s find everypony. Dash should be the only one without a picture…”

Tall Kid hid her face behind her wings.

“D-don’t do that! I-I still…”

“Ah didn’t know ya had braces.”

Tall Kid retreated into herself even further, and now all that was there was a big ball of pale yellow feathers.

Flutter Shy? Is… is that her name? Flutter?

In the picture, her mane was much shorter and she had these really… unflattering pink braces that brought too much attention to her… admittedly crooked teeth.

That must’ve been painful.

Looking at her now though, you would never know. Guess they worked.

“And there’s yer picture Twi. Ah didn’t know ya knew how ta smile.” Country Kid wrapped a hoof around her neck and brought her close. I ground my teeth together. Twilight giggled and pushed herself off.

“Oh, come on. I can smile. I just… don’t feel the need all the time, that’s all.”

Her picture was… relatively similar to the way she was now. She’d grown a little taller, her horn was bigger, and I think she’s gotten prettier, but she was… mostly the same. Underhoof never changes, and neither do the ponies in it… unless they leave. Then they just disappear forever.

“Hey look, there’s… huh. Wow. Pinkie, was yer mane always so… straight?”

Apple Orange was addressing me. I moved over to get a better look at her hoof on the other page and sure enough there I was but… even I wasn’t sure that was me.

Pinkamena D. Pie, the name is right, but… the picture looks wrong. My mane is all poofy and curly. Like a mess of pink cotton candy. My coat was a bright pink, and even my mane was something closer to a saturated magenta.

I looked down at my coat and picked up a bit of my mane and now… neither of these were like the picture. My coat was almost gray, maybe with a hint of pink, and my mane was somewhere between gray and dark pink. In the light, even my hooves looked different. They were stained black at the tips and pale gray where they used to be a shade of dark pink.

Something is off. Something is wrong. I’m not the pony in that picture, and that pony isn’t me… right? I shook my head and started to back away slowly.

“Pinkie?” Twilight asked.

No, no, no, why do you sound like that? Why would you say my name like that? You shouldn’t sound like something is wrong. You shouldn’t sound like something has changed. Nothing ever changes. Everything stays the same. This is Underhoof.

The blue skies in Underhoof are always the same.

I bolted from the classroom and ran down the halls until I found the bathroom. There in the mirror was somepony I didn’t recognize. She looked tired. Her face was thin like she hadn’t been eating. Her eyes are almost a pale gray, and they were bloodshot. Her mane was straight, almost to the point that it looked brittle and frail.

Who… is this?

“Mom? Are you around?” I called in the silent house.

In this place, there are two floors and an East and West Wing. One room for each sister, dad’s study, the office, their room, and the laundry room. In the center was the foyer where the two staircases branched off to the wings of the house. On the top floor were all of our rooms. Each bedroom had its own bathroom, and each bathroom had a tub, toilet, sink and shower. On the bottom of the right wing were my parent’s room and dad’s study. He was the only one in there more often than not, and that’s where all the books were kept.

“I’m in the office!” she called from the left side of the house. I found my way down the left hall, passing the whirring washing and drying machines and the empty kitchen until I found the office at the end of the west wing, door open. She was sitting at the desk typing away at the computer, likely doing more expense reports. Today is October 31st, so everything has to be itemized and accounted for.

“Yes? Do you need something dear?” she asked. I scanned the files around, but as I figured, there was nothing but shelves full of binders and records in this room. From old and yellowed with hoof written labels all the way to shiny and new. The Pies have always had a knack for record keeping, so it was no wonder some of the earlier binders were dated starting with 18XX. If we had binders that far back, then maybe…

“Do we… have a photo album somewhere?” The older gray mare scrunched up her face.

“A photo album? As in, a record of family pictures? Or do you need something to do with the mine?”

“Family pictures.” Mom nodded and got up from the desk.

“Of course, there’s one in the study. Follow me.”

I don’t know why I asked. I could’ve found this myself.

Down the polished wooden halls with white washed ceilings we walked until we came to the room at the end of the right wing. ‘Dad’s Study’ was something like a library with a big evergreen desk with a sizeable TV on it that served as a monitor. Instead of going to the shelves, Mom went to one of the drawers in dad’s desk and pulled out a really, really thick book simply titled ‘Pie Generations.’

“Now, what are we looking for? Something recent or something old? Is this about your feathers?”

She knows?

“Uh… sure.” She nodded and then flipped several pages in until she came across an old faded and yellowed page with a number of pictures with timestamps from seven decades ago. She waved me over with a hoof and then had me sit by the chair. She put her glasses on and then pointed at one picture. A stallion, earth pony, a mare, pegasus, eight foals, all various shades of gray and only two of them pegasai.

“The white mare there is Surprise Party, and she was my grandmother. The little one on the right was my mother, Drizzle Stone.” I looked at the time stamp written in black marker. 11/15/1959

“Huh?”

If Drizzle Stone wasn’t the spitting image of Marble seven years ago, then the white mare in this picture wasn’t a pegasus. Though, her eyes were blue, like mine and mom’s, where Marble’s were violet, like Surprise’s. The oldest mare also had a big fluffy mane that almost looked like yellow cotton candy… just like mine used to…

“Is she…?” Mom shook her head.

“Before you were born, I’m afraid. My father and his father were notorious smokers. The Quartz family is famous for the glass work they do, and those stallions had pipes in their mouths every day it seemed. Mother fell to the lung cancer first. It was… an abrupt and sudden end, and none of us were prepared for it. Igneous and I quit that very day. My father would go a few years later. I’m certain my lungs were damaged growing up in all that, and smoking like a chimney like I did in my youth. He and Igneous bonded over their favorite tobacco, so there’s no telling how bad we’ll end up. Don’t smoke honey. If I make it past 60, then I’ll be lucky.”

But… isn’t she in her late forties? She… she can’t do that!

“Why…?” She patted my head and flipped another page. In these pictures was what I could only imagine was a young dad. The mane and sideburns were there, and the colors were right. The weird thing had to be the pink mare he was always next to. There were only five ponies in these pictures, but then the older stallion stopped showing up and something about dad was… different.

“Your grandfather, Sedimentary Pie, was a victim of a cave in when Igneous was fifteen. We have strict guidelines for support beams for this very reason. As the oldest stallion in the family, he was set to inherit this place, and so inherit he did. His mother, Sakura, was a mare your grandfather met overseas when he fought in the Jeju war. Though she technically should’ve been the one to take over, she was a foreign national and never took a citizenship test. We could never pronounce her last name. Umanese, apparently. We were never sure what killed her. Some disease ponies on this side of the world are immune to. That was… Oh goodness, two decades ago? Ah, how time flies.”

“If you truly want me to speak the truth, then I must be given the knowledge.”

Is that why I never knew? Why I was never told? I never met them… because I never had the chance? That would also explain why it never came up. They just… aren’t around. I didn’t know… because I never asked.

I flipped a few more pages until I came across us. It was a family picture, taken last year. Just like the one in the yearbook, this one had me in it, but I… looked like somepony else.

How can that be me? I don’t look like that.

This one was taken with a much newer camera, and the stamp was printed on the bottom corner.

7/25/2012

“Oh… this is after… before…” Mom closed the book and then brought me into her chest. The pain my teeth made in my lip hurt so bad that I started to cry.

It was me, wasn’t it? Nopony else changed, I did. I’m the dim bulb. I… lost my light.

“M-mom,” I sniffed and swallowed. “W-what happened to me?” She ran her hoof through my mane and sighed.

“Pinkie… I hate to do this to you, but I can’t answer that. Instead, I have to ask you something that you don’t want to think about.” She pushed me back and then made me look her in the eyes. In all these pictures, the one thing that was consistent were those crystal blue eyes. In my pictures, in hers.

“Did he really love you?”

Like fog being blown away, like a mirror shattering, like a wall coming tumbling down, I could finally see for the first time in a year. I ran as fast as I could away from the study and into my room. My little lizard hopped on my back and I locked my door behind me. Through the tears, through the blankets, through the stabbing pain in my chest, a single word echoed repeatedly like the beating of my throbbing pulse.

“No.”

Bran-New Lovesong (Part 2)

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Thank you, My Twilight (Part 1)

Author's Note

Thank you My Twilight

Thank you, My Twilight (Part 1)

Twilight

“Goddess. Look what you did to me,” I complained. Pinkie rolled her eyes and helped me up on her back.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a bad pony. What’s the plan here?” I made a mouth noise.

“Pfft, what’s the plan, she says. The plan is to go yell at Celestia and make her tell me what the fuck is going on! It’s about time she fucking owned up to this. And… paid child support or something. I don’t know.” Pinkie started toward home and shrugged.

“I mean. If that’s how you wanna put it, I guess. Think anypony is gonna ask why the bridge is all burnt up?” I shrugged, but the wrong shoulders moved.

Goddess damn it.

“Maybe? Probably. We could lie and say that you set something on fire, or we could tell the truth and say that a dragon did it. I’m not sure anypony would be happy with either, so…”

“We ignore the problem and hope we aren’t around if anypony asks.”

“Right.”

Pinkie nodded and we trudged on in silence. My house wasn’t far from the bridge, maybe a few minutes if you ran, but with me on her back it took a while.

“Question; why am I carrying you instead of him?” Pinkie asked. I examined the white pony with the guitars and thought on that. It’s true, the guitars were significantly lighter than I was, and Bramos was much stronger than Pinkie, but I figured she owed me this.

“It’s just part of the punishment. I know you heard everything I said, but I didn’t get to really hit you in the face with the guitar, I’d pulled you out of the shadow by then.” She turned her head and raised an eyebrow at me.

“I see. Does the punishment end at some point, or are you just going to make me do you favors forever?” I tilted my head in agreement.

“Yeah, definitely that one. Onward, slave.”

She rolled her eyes and we continued down the road. The house was in view through the fog finally, and I was beginning to get feeling back in my legs. I slid myself off Pinkie and when my legs failed to stand up immediately, my wings reacted and helped me stand from midair.

“Goddess, that’s going to take some time to get used to.” Pinkie brought her mouth to one side.

“Yeah. I’m not even sure that I’ve processed this yet. Like, they’re clearly attached to your back and all, but… I don’t know man. This is weird.” I shivered.

“What if they make me do a flight test in school? In theory, I’m like, a thirteen-year-old pegasus now. Ponies my age can do the kind of crap that Rainbow does. I mean, have you seen some of the guys at the boy’s school? They’ve got at least a few that compete on a national level!” Pinkie tilted her head.

“Ya know, somehow, I don’t think that the mediocre unicorn at the top of the class in G7A is gonna be their next superstar acrobat. New wings or otherwise. Also, I don’t know if you know this, but Rainbow kinda blows everypony out of the water in that aspect. Rainbow can do the kinda crap she does, not just any pegasus.” I frowned.

“Mediocre?” she nodded.

“Mediocre. Trixie can fire light beams. Shining could do way more at the same age, but that may just be because the boys usually end up stronger. You might be something special now, but you were pretty middle of the road as far as magic goes in our grade.”

Well, that was blunt.

“Uh… okay then. Boost my confidence, why don’t you.” She rolled her eyes.

“I was just being honest. I… haven’t been doing that for almost a year now. I’ve kinda got a lot to sort out when I get home. And… whatever this relationship is, is… definitely one of them.”

We both looked away from each other and I scratched at the back of my head. The three of us had made it home now, so it was time to confront Celestia.

“Right… let’s um… go inside.”

I took a deep breath and then twisted the doorknob. I pulled it open and took a heavy step on the hardwood.

“Where are you!?” I called out. I stomped my way inside, but there was nopony by the TV, and the Harley wasn’t in the dining room like it usually is when she’s here.

“She’s gone, Twilight,” came from the stairs. Dad stepped down and then made his way to the kitchen table.

“Gone? What do you mean she’s gone? Where did she go? I need her! We have to talk, I-” I gestured at and with my new wings, unbidden of course. I still wasn’t sure how to move them independently yet.

“There have been some unexpected developments, and I’m 100% sure she’s the cause of them.”

Dad didn’t look surprised. As a matter of fact, he almost looked… disappointed.

“Have a seat, both of you.” He was calm. His voice was almost like still water. Stagnant and motionless. Like he’d just lost somepony and he was staring at a grave. We took our seats and suddenly, I was very concerned.

“Dad, what’s wrong?” he shook his head.

“Nothing… more than usual, I believe. I’m thirty-eight, single, divorced, my only son is on track to join the military as a low ranking officer, and my career as a writer is slowly but surely picking up again.” He scratched at the thin beard on his face.

“So… You know that… we aren’t…” I nodded and looked away.

“I do.” That one hurt. That one really hurt, much, much more than I thought it would. Reality is often disappointing.

“Right. I uh…I always knew this would happen one day. It doesn’t take a genius to tell that we don’t exactly look like each other, especially with as old as you are now. Let me… tell you a story.”

“This all began fifteen years ago when I was on my way home from work. I worked at a publishing agency in Canterlot back then, and we lived in a house not too far away. On a seemingly normal day, with average temperature, middling wind, just... a day one would easily forget, I noticed something strange in the sky.

Like an ever-brightening star overhead, it came down faster than I could imagine and shook the world. Natural curiosity led me to check out the nearby park where it landed, and that’s when I saw her.

Her coat was… something like iridescent. Shiny to the point of almost looking oiled, colors flickering from white to pale pink and orange. Her mane was almost like fire, it shimmered in the bright tones of flame in sunlight.

I was… starstruck. Her very image was alluring, just looking at her was… captivating. When she started moving, the hold she had on me broke and I noticed the blood. Somepony was bleeding, somepony was burned, and the stench of seared hair was seeping into the air.

I rushed to help out, and that was when I first saw your father. A unicorn stallion, dark gray coat, a mane as black as night with streaks of navy blue, and of all things, wearing ancient guard armor. It was in near perfect condition, yet had battle scars and signs of wear and use, but it looked like a replica made yesterday.

She asked me to help tend to his wounds using something like Middle Equestrian, so I only understood half the things she said. When she stood and I finally realized she had wings, then I started to make connections.

Is this the Sun Queen? Who else could it be? Everything about her pointed to that, but if that was the case, who is this stallion she’s with? In the back of my mind was also the question; and how do I get rid of him? At the time, I’m not even sure I realized the thought crossed my mind, but it did, and it would come back to haunt me.

I brought them home, and over the next week, Velvet and I would tend to them. The pair were… really amazing. She picked up our way of speaking in a single day, and he’d gotten it after two. The ‘moving picture box’ was her favorite thing in our house. ‘This could’ve revolutionized war. The ability to send images from one place to another in an instant without a capable unicorn behind it is astonishing. With this kind of power in everypony’s hooves, information could flow freely without hindrance,’ I remember her saying.

In that one week, Shining thought the world of them both, aspiring right then and there to join the Sun Queen’s guard, one day, and she and Velvet hit it off… somehow. That mare hates mares more than any mare has any right to, but this one was different. But then again, she was… intoxicating to be around. Radiant, is the best word. Like the warmth of the sun. I wanted her more with every passing second.

You’ve never seen her, what she really looks like. The form she used while she was here is ‘something of a disguise made of the truth’ as she put it. She’s practically irresistible to be around, her presence alone just inspires desire, gender be damned. I was so consumed by that burning passion that in that entire week, I think I acted like the best stallion I could’ve possibly been. Anything to make her look my way, anything to make her look at me like she did at him. In the end, she never would.

After she left, Velvet confronted me about it. I never did anything, but I would have, given the chance. I tried my hardest to deny the facts and I lied to Velvet about it with every breath.

We would fight about her for almost an entire year before things started to settle again. I thought I loved Velvet. I really believed that the mare I married was going to be the one I spent my life with before Celestia arrived, but as the saying goes, the goddess spits on the plans of ponies.

Shining… was a victim. A casualty of our fights. My son… is a piece of me. The ways he abused you, I knew all too well because… how could he have learned them, if not from somepony close? I took out my frustrations on her, she did the same to me, and we had this… hateful relationship that only sex could satisfy, and it eventually came to a point where even that wouldn’t fix anything.

Toward the end, there was a decision made. Shining was going to have a younger sister. For the first time since Celestia had entered my life, I’d finally found myself loving my wife again, and the wounds she opened had started to heal. But… there was an issue.

We… had differing views. I believed in some things, and Velvet did not. We never aired them out, we only fought and fucked away everything because that was easier than taking on the emotional stress of actually sitting down and looking at the pony in front of us. We were falling apart and too afraid to talk about it.

When Celestia showed up again, it was like she had me in a vice. I couldn’t ignore her. I am a weak stallion, a dirty colt with a taste for mares and I wanted her with every fiber of my being. Velvet knew it. I knew it. Even the four-year-old knew it. He asked me one day If I really loved his mother, and I hesitated.

It was like being doused in a bucket of ice water, the cold reality hit me so hard that I couldn’t understand why I’d let this get so far out of hoof. But then… I did something. I was…”

He shook his head. “You know, you only learn things, how to manipulate ponies like that from the best, and she… is most definitely the best. She used me. Between her and the stallion she loved, I was… enraptured in their game and turned into a note for her. She took a piece of the chord from my heart and left my family in ruins. I got what I wanted, but… at what cost?

Velvet killed my daughter. It was… retaliation. She knew what I’d done, she knew I would’ve never passed up the opportunity, she knew… I didn’t have eyes for her anymore. That child was one made from hate, and violence, and desire. Baseless passion in the heat of the moment. But what right did she have to do that? To take that little filly’s life away? Where was her choice? Where was mine? It was my fault. Her blood was on my hooves.

I foolishly believed that I could turn to Celestia, but she… never had eyes for me either. She loved that stallion. She loved him so much that she was willing to sacrifice everything and more to keep him whole. She gave up her body, her morals, her power, her responsibility, her life. But in the end, she never could accomplish what she set out to do.”

He furrowed his brow, then clapped and pointed at me.

“Oh, did I ever tell you that you were supposed to be born later than you were? January 1st, the year of our lady two thousand. You were due in late February, early March. I remember her talking about how she hoped you weren’t born on the 29th so that you only had a ‘birthday’ every four years, provided you didn’t turn out like her.

All her careful planning, all her scheming, was ruined by the one thing she wanted more than anything else. Your father, your real father, he was lost that very day. He named you, that was the last thing he did on this earth.

With her powers weak, her love lost, and something new in her hooves, she had a decision to make. After her thousand years in the sea of stars, she knew how to fix her love, but she needed time, power, and sound.

Almost a week had passed when she finally came to a decision. You would become very powerful one day. You have your father’s blood, and through you, she could get him back. But you just weren’t developed enough. She wouldn’t be able to use you until you’d come of age, and she still had to track your father down again to make sure he was within reach when the time was right.

So, she turned to me. I’d lost everything. Velvet left me, she took Shining, it was out that I cheated on my wife, I ended up losing my job, and I lost the house in the settlement. With nowhere else to go, I settled on a place far away from that city that had something I could do and a place I could survive with a little, so I planned to move here.

She said, ‘You’re one of the most loyal ponies I’ve ever met. Will you take care of her until I return?’ Can you believe that? Even after everything I’d done, to Velvet, to Shining, to her, she called me loyal. She said that was my note, what that green bass she pulled out of my head meant. I still don’t know if she was right, but I felt I owed it to you.

I was supposed to have one, just like you. One of my own making, a little filly I could hold that would call me daddy with a big smile on her face. If the goddess plays games with the hearts of ponies, then this was my chance to make up for it. A reroll. If you turned out alright, then maybe… I wasn’t the bad pony I thought I was.

Of course, my plans had a wrench thrown in them when I found out Velvet was beating Shining. She put the poor boy in the hospital for misbehaving and that… was too far. I managed to rip him out of her hooves when he was eight, and from then on… I think Shining hated me. Hated her. Hated us. We failed that colt, and it started with me.

Another chance at redemption, I would raise him opposite to Velvet. Where she was strict, I was lax. Do what you want, have fun, and I will never hurt you like she did. It was… probably a good thing, in the beginning, but… he was… a twisted child.

He likely caught us during one of our angry affairs, and he was never shown what real love looks like. Using ponies to make himself feel better… that was what his parents did, so this is how it has to be, right?” Dad looked at Pinkie and shook his head.

“You were just another victim of our mistakes. My mistakes. When your parents came to me about what happened, I nearly killed him myself. Twilight, do you remember the day Velvet came to get Shining?”

I bit into my lip. That memory from earlier played in my head again and I nodded slowly.

“Yes sir.” He sighed and nodded.

“Of course. Now that we know for sure you’re one of them, there’s a good chance any spell I put on you has been broken. Alicorns tend to shrug off magic. Well, at least for you since he hurt you the most, the truth is, he was never accepted into Canterlot University. In order to avoid capital punishment for statutory rape, and a number of other charges, he was put into an early ROTC program and set to serve his time serving the country. At the very least, somepony would fix our mistakes and make him into a pony worth looking at. Velvet found out, and now… we are legally not allowed to be within two hundred meters of each other.

I… am sorry. To both of you. To you Pinkie, for my son, and to you… for everything. Nopony should have had to live your life. It’s not fair or just or anything virtuous. But, it’s also not over, and it may very well never end. You’re an alicorn, and ponies like you… time won’t take.”

“Dad…” He shook his head.

“I… don’t mind if you keep calling me that, but… I’m not your father. He… was a better stallion than I am.” He paused, then held up his hoof in front of his face.

“There is still hope, however. Your mother will come back. To make one final stand, to try and put your father back together, and she’s going to sacrifice the world to do it. Supposedly, you can stop it. Stop her. But… well, you know how she is. Easier said than done, right?

The comet arrives on the 7th. Celestia will be back and ready to put her plan into motion before then. I don’t know what she’ll do, but I am certain she’ll use everything at her disposal to accomplish her goal, and your friends… well, they’re disposable to her.”

Finally, Pinkie spoke up for the first time through the whole story.

“Ya know… Somehow, I just don’t believe that. I uh… well, this is just weird to talk about now that we know she’s like Twilight’s mom, but uh… We… well, she, really, did a thing for me, probably not too far off what she did to you to get your element the other day, and she told me some stuff.

She knew about everything. How I felt about my family, why I was the way I was, all the… all the things I was doing to my only friend. If she really didn’t care, I don’t think she would’ve put it the way she did. If she didn’t care, she would’ve just talked down to me. How stupid I was being, how selfish I was. Kinda like you did earlier.”

I glared at Pinkie, but she just smiled.

“Children are stupid right? Anyways, she… made me realize all of that on my own. She never said anything outright, but she put the idea in my head and let me find it there. I was doing all of these things because something was wrong with me. It wasn’t the world’s fault, it wasn’t my family’s fault, it was my fault.

Even if… if he was really to blame for everything, that just can’t be true because… I have my own free will. I make my own decisions. I knew better, even then. Nopony forced me to do anything.

If she had just told me all of that, I don’t think I would’ve changed much. I would’ve kept on like the world was against me and I was the victim all the time. But because I came to those conclusions, now I really know something. If she were just using us to use us, she wouldn’t make such an effort to make us better ponies in the process. We can’t learn anything if we think we know everything, so I’ll wait until I’m shown something before I say I know something.

Thinking back, I think she got so mad at me in the first place… because she was seeing something she knew, something she’d done before, in me.”

The next day, Pinkie wanted to get the girls together to talk, so we all planned to gather at the girl’s school roof with the Gardening club to give her a platform.

Apparently, she apologized to her family after she got home yesterday and finally managed to break the stagnant air in that house. Everypony was almost afraid to talk to her for a whole year because she’d taken such a drastic turn for the worse after Shining left.

They were afraid something might set her off and she would try to kill herself. Valid concerns, to be sure. Her mom thought something was going to change soon after she asked about her family history, so I guess… that’s another point in Celestia’s favor.

It’s funny, every time she gets involved, it seemed like she fixes families. That’s the source of her desperation after all, so maybe this is just an unintended side effect with positive results.

Of course, that’s also part of what has me worried. She’s not cold. If she was at one point, then she isn’t anymore. I just can’t see it. If anypony knows her now, it would have to be me, wouldn’t it? She’s not all there in the head, but she still has emotions. A heart. There’s a piece to the puzzle still missing and she’s the only one who has it.

If Luna is telling the truth, and the world is doomed if she does revive my father, then… how do we become a family again, if it’s game over at that point? It just doesn’t add up. I want to get to the bottom of this, but I can’t make a move until she comes back.

For now, I guess I just have to play the waiting game. And it’s just fucking awful, because I am not a very patient pony. We finally entered the green house together, and everypony else was waiting.

All the notes are on the staff.

“So, uh… those new?” Applejack asked the moment we walked in.

I shrugged. And so did my wings.

“Yes, yes they are.” Rainbow looked up from her game and just about tilted her head sideways.

“That’s… weird. When did that happen? Can you use them?”

I thought very hard on it, and eventually, the left one stretched in and out. They were giving me trouble all night while I was trying to sleep, but there were other reasons I couldn’t sleep well. Probably, mostly, definitely… because of my missing pillow.

“Not on purpose. I haven’t successfully tripped since I got them, so I guess that’s a plus.”

Rarity circled me until eventually she found the crude cuts we made in my shirt this morning.

“You know, I could make better adjustments to your attire than… this.”

It must’ve caught her eye, because as soon as she looked at the tips of my wing, she noticed the cutiemark half hidden by my skirt.

“Oh, look at that. Congratulations. Did these happen at the same time?”

The others got up and circled around to look at the new mark on my flanks. For whatever reason, several ponies looking up my skirt made me uncomfortable.

“I mean, I guess. Do you all have to do this at the same time?”

“Are those Hello Neko brand?” Fluttershy asked. I pressed my skirt against my flanks and sat down, probably with too much force.

“Oh-kay, that’s enough of that.”

“To be entirely fair, you were the one who decided to wear the skirt.” Pinkie said. I glared at her.

“Nopony asked for your opinion. Are we not here for you? Why is everypony looking at my panties?” The others shrugged and I sighed.

Applejack got up next to the sidewall of the plant counter and sat on it.

“Ah was just lookin’ at the mark, really. Do ya know what it means? Ah’ve got apples on my ass, so that’s probably some indication of bein’ an apple farmer or somethin’. Ah’m not too sure about it though, Ah’ve been… feelin’ kinda weird since Ah got it.”

Everypony else started to take seats and I found myself sitting next to her and Pinkie on the counter.

“What do you mean?” She scratched at her cheek.

“Ah’m… still not really sure. It feels like Ah’ve been more concerned about the ponies around me, but Ah still don’t know if that’s right. Like, Ah first noticed it the other day when we were discussin’ Celestia. Ah was… worried about Pinkie. Ah don’t even know ya. Said maybe a couple words ta ya in the last year and Ah even went so far as ta try and call ya yesterday.”

“Oh, so that’s your number. I’ll go ahead and save that…” She pulled out her phone and then typed something in.

“Yeah, wouldn’t have been able to answer right then, I was kinda trying to kill myself and then turned into a dragon or whatever.” Applejack frowned.

“Uh, okay.” Rarity narrowed her eyes at Pinkie.

“You look different too. You’re more… pink. Brighter, that’s the word. Care to explain?”

“Yeah, I would definitely like to know what’s up. When did this happen? Dad and I were going to the gym this morning and saw that the bridge was all burned up. Did you do that? Wait, did you really try to set yourself on fire!?” Dash exclaimed.

“Well-” I started, but then Pinkie put a hoof on my lap.

“I got this.” She took a deep breath, and then told everypony the whole story. Starting all the way back when we were kids and she set fire to the elementary school on accident and first met Shining. When she finished, it was like looking at a reaction image. I almost wish I had my camera out to get a picture of their faces.

Fluttershy looked… mildly invested in the story. I’ve shown her pictures of Shining before, and Pinkie’s graphic descriptions of what she did with my brother may have just drawn a future comic. Rarity was appalled. Truly disgusted, but after what she just went through with her parents, that’s a fair reaction. Dash looked uncomfortable more than anything, like she wanted to do anything but hear about Pinkie screwing around with my brother and I. Finally, Applejack went from concerned to very concerned.

“So… ya idolized the guy, ya fucked him, and then got depressed because he left, and then turned the same tricks on Twi because ya knew she would do whatever ta keep ya from settin’ yerself on fire. Is that right?”

Pinkie curled her hoof and jauntily brought it across her chest.

“And I would’ve gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids. Blatant disregard for copyright aside, yeah, that’s what happened. I know I may have seemed like a huge bitch to you guys before, but I think I’m finally over it all. Well, maybe not completely, but I’m at least over Shining now. I uh… Twilight is really my only friend right now, so if you’ll have me, we should… do that, I guess.”

Dash reared back, now appalled herself.

“What am I, a limp noodle? Was I not your friend before? I played games with you, I brought you into my house, I fed you, I taught you Iron Hoof, what the hell Pinkie!?”

Pinkie threw her hooves up in defeat.

“Okay, geez. Twilight and Rainbow. Is that better?” She smiled, but then raised her head and glared at me.

“Okay, wait. This just clicked for me, but now I’m pissed off at you.” I reared my head back and frowned.

“What? Why?” She crossed her hooves.

“You were all up in my case when we first met. Gay joke here, pride joke there, and the whole time, You were digging around in Pinkie Pie’s pinkie pie!? That’s fucked up man.”

I think I felt a groan shiver out of my whole body.

Oh goddess, she really just said that, didn’t she?

The entire room let out a sound of some form of disgust, but Dash looked rather pleased with herself. Pinkie glared at her.

“Oh, fuck you. Here I am, spilling out my darkest secrets and you make jokes about it. Bitch.”

Dash busted out laughing and Applejack reached over and put a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it, that’s just Dash generally.”

“Hey!”

“Ah’d be happy ta be yer friend, Pinkie. Speakin’ of, lookie what Ah got~” I’d been wondering why Applejack had her backpack with her, but figured it out after I saw the new Click in her hooves.

“Ah’ve been savin’ up fer a while, and since Ah got the bike, Ah finally had the time ta go inta the bigger city up north and grab one of these myself. We never really had the time or the money fer video games back on the orchard with Pa, so Ah thought it’d be nice if Ah could play with y’all.”

Rarity took one out of her own bag, but she’d taken all the plastic off and repainted the shell to match her aesthetics.

“I too acquired one of these… things. I’ve never been big into video games, but apparently the cosplay market is hot right now, so if I play the games and can recreate the outfits, ponies will pay through the snout for them. And also my little sister is addicted, but that doesn’t matter, we can all play together… as soon as I figure out how this thing works.”

Dash rubbed her hooves together.

“Ooh boy, fresh meat.”

Rarity moved closer to Applejack and away from Dash.

“Ha ha. Don’t make me regret this,” she said through clenched teeth.

“So uh, what did you talk about the other day?” Pinkie asked. “I was… in a worse place then to be sure, but now that I’m here, it would be nice to know. I remember hearing things about killing a planet?” Fluttershy opted to answer this one.

“Oh, just how Celestia is going to use the Elements of Harmony to… do something and destroy the planet in her wake. In a basic sense, those guitars are magical artifacts that can generate and focus magic into a pony’s will, effectively raising them to something like a demi-god.

The price seems to be the magic that flows through the planet though, and because her objective is to also take the magic out of a comet that normally moves out of the way on its own for… some reason, it’s gonna slam right into us instead and wipe out life on earth. Or so we think.”

“Or so we think? Are you serious? Where did you hear that?” I asked. Something about that rang true in my head, and that made me nervous.

That sounds right. Why does that sound right?

“O-oh, well… I read about it online. After Applejack mentioned it the other day, I went looking and asked a few of the ponies I know on the conspiracy board to see if they had any information on the elements and the comet. Somepony gave me all this information about it, even the creature it was named after. I mean, take it with a grain of salt, this came from X-chan after all, but most of it lines up with what we know.

Discord was/is a being of chaos with all this magic in his arsenal. Apparently, he and the Sun Queen hooked up once in Equestria’s early history, but they had a falling out of sorts when he could never ‘do what she wanted’ as the anon put it. He took a chunk out of the moon and turned it into a comet, filling it with his chaotic magic and calling it a curse on the planet for the way he was treated.

Every seven years, or not, the comet will return from orbit and head straight here. The closer it gets, the more of Discord’s magic will permeate the planet and cause weird to happen. The shadows are creatures of Discord and can only be defeated by harmony. Magic as we know it is a form of order that seems to work on them, but sound deals with them the best, and everypony can make sound.”

I brought a hoof to my chin.

“That… sounds really plausible. Wouldn’t it be funny if Luna browses your site just to spread stuff like that so ponies don’t believe it?” Fluttershy frowned.

“The Queen?” I nodded.

“Oh, didn’t you see her? She picked me up from school a few times two weeks ago. The big blue unicorn. She’s my aunt.”

Did that just come out of my mouth? It did, didn’t it? Huh.

Fluttershy blinked.

“M-maybe I missed a beat here, but what are you talking about?” Applejack frowned.

“Were ya payin’ attention the other day? We talked about this. The feather. Ah still…”

Applejack reached in her backpack to retrieve the feather she found again, but what she pulled out this time was… not what we saw before. The feather wasn’t blue in any way, no, this one was black as night. Any light that reflected off the shiny fibers came back up as some sort of green-blue or violet. The silver flecks were still there, but everything about it seemed… dry, in a way. Fluttershy clapped her hooves.

“Oh, that mare. I was surprised nopony else mentioned it earlier. What made you think she was blue? I’ve never seen a pony with such a dark coat. At least in person anyways. She’s always got a weird… purpley kind of color to her on TV.” Most of us blinked.

“Uh… I’m like, a thousand percent sure she was like, navy blue. Even her horn was that color,” I said. Fluttershy frowned.

“That’s… not what I saw. Oh, I know! What did you all think Celestia looked like?” I reared my head back.

What do we think Celestia looked like?

“She’s a kind of pink white unicorn with a mane that’s green, blue, purple, and pink. What do you think she looked like?” I asked.

Fluttershy nodded and crossed her hind legs.

“See, that’s what I thought in the beginning too. But after a while, I started noticing something weird about her mane. I was so, um… invested in her body that I would see little oddities about her every now and again. Her mane would flicker sometimes, her tail would do the same, and her coat would have these random moments where it would almost look like oily metal with an orange-pink tint to it. By the time I really got a good look at her a few days before I had my… episode, the old look disappeared completely. Ooh, I have a drawing of it.”

Shy found her backpack and then fished out her sketchbook. She flipped through page after page, most of which with some intense and graphic scenery, ear marked a few for whatever she was doing later, and finally settled on a set of pages. On one side was Celestia as I knew her. White-pink coat, red jacket, big yellow scarf, goggles, bike helmet, black pants, yellow shirt, four colored mane and tail of green, teal, lavender, and pink.

On the other side was a mirror of that, but different. Her mane was almost like fire, from crimson to orange to yellow with hints of pink and flames that burned low and rose off in little embers. She had these massive white wings with a sort of bright ‘orangey’ color to them with a weird effect on her coat that made it look like it was three distinct colors all at once. Her pants came up to a lower point and her shirt was cut off a bit to reveal some giant orange mark that started at the top of her hips and moved down underneath. It looked like the ends of a flame.

“On the left is what she normally looks like to you guys, but the right is what she really looks like. I don’t know why I could see through whatever magic she was using, but it was the same way with the Queen.” Again, I was struck.

This looks right. This looks almost exactly like what Dad described yesterday. ‘A disguise made of the truth.’ She would say something like that, but what does it mean? More questions, and nopony to answer them.

“Well, I’m impressed. I thought you just did anime, I didn’t know you could do photorealistic stuff too,” Rainbow said.

Shy blushed and waved Rainbow away.

“Oh, stop it, it’s not that good♥ I just… practice a lot.” Applejack raised an eyebrow.

“Humble too, ain’cha? Well, what else?” Shy tilted her head.

“Umm… what do you mean?” Applejack shrugged and leaned back.

“Anythin’ else anypony would like ta share with the class? I’m kinda on a time limit here, so we need ta get done soon if we wanna play. Well, with me in the group anyways.” Fluttershy shrugged.

“That’s about all I know.” Rarity followed.

“Same here.”

Rainbow picked her head up from her Click for a minute.

“Oh, are we not done already?” Pinkie raised a hoof, but didn’t look away from her game.

“I second that.” Applejack held her hooves up.

“Ah guess we are. Now, how do Ah start this thin’?”

I guess I don’t get a vote. Oh well. It’s not like talking about it more is going to do any good. We only know what we know, right? Might as well play the game and wait it out. When she gets back… then I’ll get my answers.

“You want to do what?”

It was sometime early in the morning on Sunday, the 3rd, and Pinkie woke me up.

“Go to church.” I pulled the phone off my face and scowled at the screen. 7:01.

Why in the hell did I answer this?

“That’s great Pinkie, good for you.” A groan from the other side of the line.

“You come too!” A groan from my side of the line.

“Ugh, why?” I couldn’t see her, but I knew she was rolling her eyes.

“It’ll be fun! Everypony else goes, except for Rarity I guess, but Applejack said she got her to come with the rest of her family today. Come on.”

I rolled to the other side of my bed. A pang of sadness hit me when my pillow still wasn’t there, and I sighed.

“Just because everypony is doing it…”

“Just get up already. Look, this… this is something I need to do. It means a lot to them. If I go, they’ll really believe I’m trying to fix things. I am trying to fix things, so… I just need to. B-but I… I’m still scared, okay? … I need you. Please?” I took a deep breath and massaged my forehead.

Goddess damn it.

“Fine. When does it meet? I’ve never been, so…”

“Oh. Eight. That’s why I called you so early. So, you had time to get up and do whatever. They have coffee and doughnuts out by the front before and after the service, so you can just get dressed and come. I know it’s been a while since I was in your room, but try to wear something nice, okay? None of your brother’s clothes. A dress, preferably.”

I puffed air out my nostrils.

“Pinkie, did you forget that none of my clothes fit anymore?” Silence over the line.

“Let me make a call.”

“Ha! You’re such a stereotype. Come on Applejack, plaid? Really? You look ridiculous!” Rainbow laughed.

“And you can just go impale yerself. It’s the best Ah got, alright? This is what you’re supposed ta wear. Sunday best and all. Ya ain’t much better in… Rarity, what the hell is that thin’ called?”

“A frock, darling. Though, I must say, I am surprised at how good this looks on you. You didn’t pick this out yourself, did you?”

Dash raised her chin and bumped her chest with her hoof. The outfit and the action were like polar opposites of each other.

“Rainbow Dash always dresses in style. Mom was kinda girly when she wanted to be, so she put me in everything she could get her hooves on. I just kinda picked up her fashion sense. Course, I usually don’t like wearing anything unless it makes me faster.

Compression shorts and polyester shirts are the best. Smooths down the fur for less drag in the air, but not illegal in junior competitions like full suits are. Geez, it’s been a while since I’ve done that. Also recently learned that I love boxing shorts too.”

From my place by the wall, I studied the three of them. Dash was in this little magenta ‘frock’ as Rarity put it, that had a rainbow colored tie around her waist, an open back for her wings, and a little yoke that fell over her shoulders. It all had rainbow colored trails that ran along the edges of the cloth in a sort of checkerboard pattern, where all the would-be black spaces were colors that matched her mane. Now that I look, the dress itself matched her eyes. She’d even combed her mane for once in her life too. Almost looked like a different pony. Almost.

Rarity was in some elaborate dress that hugged her body up until the waist and fanned out with this tiered skirt that was shaped not unlike rose petals. It was a deep red velvet kind of fabric with purple ribbons here and there. I was almost sure it was too ‘adult’ for this place.

Most ponies were either in bright colors or muted pastels, and nothing that really ‘attracted’ the eye like she and her mother did. Her mother was in something I swear you might find in a back alley red light district in a comic book. Deep blood red little dress that hugged her so tight that she might as well have been naked.

I saw Rarity’s dad and little sister for the first time too. He was a pretty big guy, much bigger than Dad, but I’ll be honest, Dad is kinda small for an adult stallion.

This guy wasn’t bigger than Mac, but he had a really thick brown mustache that made me think he was in his 40’s or something. Collared teal pastel shirt and beige slacks. He looks like a teacher. Her little sister was in this enormous, shiny, frilly, pink thing that made Rainbow Dash look ‘muted’ by comparison. Like a little princess, for sure. Clearly, they haven’t been clothes shopping together yet.

Applejack herself was in a simple, plaid dress that was a pastel yellow with pink stripes going one way and blue ones going the other. It matched her mane and really brought attention to her eyes. She had it down instead of in pigtails for once, and it made her look older than she usually does.

“So, where’d you get that? It has wing holes, so it can’t have been yours. Did you run by the store this morning?” Rarity asked. I shook my head.

“Oh, no, this is Fluttershy’s. Or was, I guess. Apparently, she grew out of it a few years ago. They were going to donate a lot of her clothes anyways, so they said I could have them.”

I’d been given a rather breezy white sundress with little pink butterflies embroidered into the skirt that had a pink ribbon that held the waist tight. I hated that it was a little too big. It came all the way to my hooves, and I’ve almost tripped on it twice today.

“I-I think it looks cute. I hope you like all of that. I know I did. I just… grew out of everything really fast. They say I’m supposed to get as tall or taller than my mother though, so I’m... really not excited about that. I have to replace my entire wardrobe every year it feels like, so it’s nice to know somepony is going to get use out of it.”

Speak of the devil. Heh.

She was wearing a white and pink ensemble with red ribbons in her mane and on the dress that I’m almost certain came from a video game. She even had her mane parted in such a way, but I couldn’t think of the title. Something, something, VII…

“Ah, there you are. I couldn’t find you when we walked in,” Rarity said.

“Walked in late. Come on, we had times and everything,” Pinkie said as she entered our little circle.

The service had ended a few minutes ago, and while our parents and… well, guardian in my case, were getting to know each other, we’d gathered again to figure out what to do next. I was anxious.

Every night that passes without my pillow, the more of these… weird, unusual feelings come up. I still don’t quite understand it all, but I hate it. Like a cold burn, I need ice and warmth all at the same time to heal whatever it is that’s eating away at me, but I don’t even understand what my problem is in the first place.

“Well, there were… complications. Did you see Sweetie?”

“Ah’m… pretty sure ain’t nopony didn’t. Like she’s wearin’ a buncha damn mirrors,” Applejack commented.

“Hey! Church!” Pinkie reprimanded. Applejack rolled her eyes.

“Don’t get yer panties in a twist, Ah was makin’ a statement.”

But in a twist they were, as that didn’t satisfy the pink filly. She was strangely uptight today and had been all morning. She was even wearing this baby blue dress that was relatively plain in comparison to what she normally likes, and she’d… straightened her mane.

Back before Shining left, she only did that once in a blue moon and it took hours. It was always in knots and seemed to tie itself up to make sure it kept the cotton candy like appearance it normally has, but now it even looked washed and conditioned.

“How long did it take you to straighten that?” She straightened her lips and stared at me blankly.

“A while.” I raised a brow.

“Uh-huh. Well, at least you were up at five this morning just to try and impress your parents. Talk about a turnabout.”

“Five? Really?” Fluttershy asked.

“Really. This is… very important to them. And maybe even to me, I guess, but… well, I don’t know. I want to make sure they know I’m not… where I’ve been. I can’t just say I’ve changed, I have to show it, otherwise, why would they believe it?”

Rainbow trotted over and gave the bigger pony a wing hug.

“Well, they’ll believe it eventually. But that’s if they don’t already. Either way, I think it’s great that you’re trying to do right by your folks. It’s good.”

“Aww, thanks Da-”

“Course, when you’re screaming at the top of your lungs because I spiked your ass again, they probably aren’t that convinced.”

“And she ruined it.” I nodded.

“I do believe that’s a common theme here. Speaking of, what’s the plan?” Applejack frowned.

“Plan? Plan fer what?”

“Well, the break. Everypony is off for the next few days, and we’ve got four before the Comet arrives. Are you guys going anywhere? It’s probably best that we’re here for the big day, so I just wanted to… I guess, figure out where everypony’s going to be.” She nodded.

“Oh, well, it’s Harvest week fer me, so Ah’ll be beatin’ wood fer the foreseeable future.” Pinkie stared at Applejack.

“You could’ve phrased that any other way, ya know.” Applejack gave her a cold stare.

“It’s ponies like y’all that take the fun outta comin’ ta church, ya damn tight wad. Take the stick out!”

“There is no stick! Why can’t we just cut the vulgarity here? That’s all I’m asking!”

“Clean jokes ain’t realistic! Real life ain’t some pretty fantasy where everythin’ is perfect, and nopony is a bad pony! Sex, drugs, violence, it’s all part of life, and it has been fer all of pony history! Live life and remember that even with all the dirt and scars, life is beautiful! That was the sermon! Pay fuckin’ attention!”

In the very next second, Applejack’s Pappy came by and swatted her across the back of the head so hard it made a thunk sound and she nearly bowled over.

“Ow!”

“Glad ta see ya takin’ the lesson ta heart, but fer the love of the goddess, you’re in a church Applejack, show some reverence.” The old yellow stallion shook his head and puffed out his snout.

“Just like yer parents, Ah swear. Say goodbye ta yer friends and come on. Those pears ain’t gonna press themselves.” He waved to us and his whole demeanor changed. From sour old pony to friendly grandpa in an instant.

“It was nice meetin’ y’all. See ya next week.” He turned and then was followed by her brother to go get the smaller Apple filly, who was talking with Rarity’s sister and another filly.

“He seems nice,” Fluttershy said. Applejack scowled at her and rubbed at her new bruise.

“Yeah, when he’s not smackin’ ya in the back of the head.” She sighed. “Ah’m sorry Pinkie. Let me know what y’all are doin’ tomorrow and Ah’ll see if Ah can’t get some time off. Later!” And away she went.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Rarity began, “has anypony asked you about your wings yet? I feel like that would draw some eyes in a church. Considering how the goddess is depicted as an alicorn and all.” I shrugged.

“Not… really? I thought it might be weird too, but apparently, nopony cares. Applejack’s grandpa asked me about them when I got here, but just kinda shrugged and moved on with life.” Rarity put a hoof to her lips.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Huh. I suppose it’s always been pretty laid back here, but you would think-”

“Don’t forget that there was never a big police effort to track down Celestia, and after the first week, ponies effectively forgot that she ever ran over anypony. She worked as a taxi for four weeks. Ponies got on the motorcycle with her.” Rarity frowned.

“And I was one of them. Well, I suppose you have a point. Well, I guess that makes your life easier. My mother and I have gone to hike around Mount Alicorn over the last few years during the break weekend, but I don’t think I have anything going on aside from that.”

“Don’t forget that we have a reading assignment. We’re supposed to have the book finished before class on the 11th,” Fluttershy added.

“Goddess, da-” Pinkie gave Rarity a death stare, and suddenly, she found another word. “D-darling. I totally forgot.” Shy waved that away.

“It’s still early, you’ve got time. It’s not that long anyways. Two hundred or so pages. I read it yesterday.” The four of us stared at her.

“Uh, you read a two hundred page novel in a day?” I asked.

I have a pretty fast reading speed, but even I don’t have the patience to just sit and read all day. Assigned books are usually just the worst too. She scratched at her head and looked away.

“W-well, I um… My reading speed is… a little insane. I can recite the text of 90% of the cards in Duel Monsters, and I have to read a lot of them quickly and upside-down during tournaments if I don’t know the specific wording of their text, so… I just picked it up I suppose. The book isn’t bad though, I think I enjoyed it a lot.”

Rainbow and Pinkie looked at each other and shrugged.

“That must be a ‘you guys’ problem, because we didn’t get any homework,” Rainbow stated. Rarity sighed.

“It must be nice, being able to just do whatever in the regular class. How many of you are there anyways?” Without a second passing, Pinkie answered, in detail.

“There are twenty fillies in G7, and fourteen in G7A. There’s about two hundred fillies and mares in the girl’s school for class and like, thirty or so teachers. There’s more of us than there are boys, so that’s why that school is in the smaller building. I think my last count was somewhere around one hundred fifty with maybe twenty-five teachers? It’s been a while since I’ve been over there.” I blinked and my lips straightened.

“Pinkie, why-”

“Not important. Now you know! Let’s do something else!”

“Mother f- Gah! How do you do that!?”

The pony in the trench coat shouted “Dorya!” and then Rainbow went into a combo and Pinkie died.

“All the Mishimas have it, and they all require you to do the input with frame perfection, otherwise the Electric Wind will not come out and you’ll either get the guard breaker, or the weak version. It takes a ton of practice. Even Dad can’t do it 100% of the time, and he’s been playing this game since its first incarnation back in like… the 90’s. Course, you’re playing Noct, so don’t get your hopes up. He’s not bad, but his skill ceiling is way lower than any of the Mishimas.” Pinkie growled.

“I will beat you, damn it! Again!” Rainbow laughed and they started another match.

“So much for ‘church,’” I remarked. She leaned her head over the couch to give me a death stare.

“That was Sunday. This is Monday. Besides. Why restrain myself at Dash’s house? Her dad isn’t even here. This is war.” And then back to the game she went.

“You know, you could decorate at least a little.” Rarity started, “It’s so bland in here. Though, I do appreciate the sort of ‘mood lighting’ to go with the whitewashed walls. Didn’t you bring anything from your old home here? It needs… something.”

Rarity and Applejack were playing Bash Bros since they were both completely new to the game, I was playing Duel Monsters with Fluttershy, and Pinkie and Dash were playing Iron Hoof 7.

We gathered at Dash’s house for no specific reason and now we were… kinda here. Dash ended Pinkie with another ‘Dorya’ combo off of a sidestep punish, then set her stick down and shrugged.

“I mean, the point was to get away from Cloudsdale, not bring it with us. There are a few pictures of mom we have in a few rooms, but we sold pretty much everything in the house when we moved. Besides. Dad and I… get kinda violent when we’re having a good time. The walls have already been repaired once since we moved in. Only been here for like a month now. They’re much easier to replace when they’re made of cloud.” She explained. Rarity blinked.

“What? What are you doing that requires wall repair?” Pinkie shook her head.

“Man, you have no idea. I witnessed this once. One minute they were poking at each other and her dad was trying to teach me this game, and the next it turned into this like, posing street brawl. It’s like that one cartoon Fluttershy likes with all the burly stallions and their punch ghosts.” The yellow pegasus finally ended her turn and giggled.

“You know, that’s probably one of the most tame ways to describe Hamon’s Bizarre Adventure. When did you see that? I didn’t think normies were aware it existed.”

“Uh, normies?” Pinkie asked. Shy clammed up.

“Uh… don’t worry about it.” Pinkie gave her a suspicious stare until it looked like Shy couldn’t shrink into herself anymore, then held her hooves up.

“Whatever. I saw that and a few… other things in your sketchbook when you were flipping through it Saturday. I looked it up, I thought it looked cool.” Rainbow crossed her hooves and nodded approvingly.

“Yeah, Dad and I love that show. I was a little sketchy at first because the first part is kinda dated, but I was totally hooked after part two kicked in. I would submit to Dio.”

Shy smiled and clapped her hooves together.

“I would let most of those ponies do awful, awful things to me. Especially Dio. Have you seen part five yet? Are you caught up? I had no idea anypony else even knew about it!” Rainbow shook her head.

“Nah, Dad and I watch the dub together, so we’re kinda waiting on that. I think we’re in the middle of part four right now. Kira has got to be one of my favorite villains.” Shy held out her hoof.

“Well, if you wanted to read the Manga, I have all the way up to a few volumes in part 8. There’s a whole bookshelf in my room dedicated just to HBA. It’s not all in Equestrian though.” I furrowed my brow trying to think back on that.

“Wait, which shelf was that one? There are more books in your room than there are Duel Monsters cards, and that’s saying a lot.”

“It’s the one next to Angel’s bed. By my computer. I use them as references a lot. The outfits tend to be ripped straight from fashion magazines a lot of the time, and the mangaka is amazing at what he does.”

“I see… Speaking of your room-”

“What about it!?” She reared back like I’d caught her doing something she wasn’t supposed to.

“Geez, chill out. I just wanted to know where you got those big pillows. I’ve been… having trouble sleeping lately and thought something like that might help.” Shy let out a breath of relief, and everypony else eyed her.

“Sounds like somepony’s got somethin’ in her room she don’t want anypony else ta see. Ah’m pretty sure most of us have seen the kinda shit ya draw. What else could there be?”

The yellow coated, slowly turning red pegasus shook her head rapidly.

“N-nothing! D-don’t worry about it. Um… I-I bought them online. The da- er… pillowcases, are relatively inexpensive and can also be found online. B-be careful when you search for those, by the way. Uh, there’s a sort of… culture, around that type of thing. J-just be wary.” I frowned, and I think everypony else did too.

“You’re somethin’ else Fluttershy, Ah tell ya what.” Applejack sighed and shook her head, then turned to me. “Missin’ mommy there Twi?”

I reared back in disgust as I felt my face heat up.

“No!” She raised an eyebrow.

“Bullshit.”

“Fine! Maybe!” She nodded.

“It’s alright sugar cube, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. Ah was just pokin’ at ya is all.” I huffed and shook my head.

“No it isn’t! I knew her for a month! I… I just don’t get it. I feel like… I’ve lost something important, but I… shouldn’t feel like she’s important. I didn’t even suspect anything until Fluttershy’s shadow. I had no idea. And… that’s what she does. She’s a manipulator, she works ponies into doing whatever she wants. I… can’t figure out what about all this was real and what was… just to achieve a goal. Which side was my mother, and which side was the politician?”

Applejack leaned back against the wall and put her Click down.

“Well… both of ‘em.” I had to process that.

“What do you mean, ‘both of them?’” She tilted her head.

“Ah mean, ponies are complicated. Ya think Ah knew all that shit that my Pa did while he was part of the Army? No. So why should Ah think that any part of what he did and who he was wasn’t him? Maybe it was partially an act, but Ah definitely saw a piece of the genuine Celestia first hoof, so Ah know it wasn’t all the same all the time, but… Ponies have multiple parts ta their personalities, right?

Let’s look at y’all fer instance. You’re a nerd on every level. Books, games, internet, though not ta the degree Shy is, academics, all of it.”

“Hey!”

“But you’re also a good friend. Ya have a protective instinct, and you’re willin’ ta do anythin’ ta help somepony close. You’re neurotic, ya obsess over little details, ya tend ta fixate on thin’s. Ya have a knack fer figurin’ out puzzles, ya enjoy learnin’ complicated shit with little use anywhere else.

If Ah don’t know some random shit, Ah can ask ya and probably get a good answer. Ya have a crazy vocabulary and you’re damn smart. All that ain’t just one trait ya can sum up in a single sentence. Give the mare some credit. If ya should’ve learned anythin’ over the past month, she ain’t all what she seems.” I glared at the orange filly.

“You make it really difficult to wallow in my own problems, you know that?” She smiled and knocked on the wood floor.

“Ah try.”

“Stupid Applejack and her stupid monologues. How fucking considerate.”

“Dorya!”

“Hey now, you’re starting to sound like me. Also, don’t just throw that out. Bad.”

Pinkie’s sword appeared in blue magic, flew across the screen, and then exploded in my character’s face.

“KO”

“Damn it,” I sighed.

“Oh, come on, you can do electrics and on command no less. You just need to like, be better at the game.”

Monday came and went, and now I was spending time with Pinkie. She’d convinced her parents to get a Ponystation 4, which was relatively easy since they don’t have a blu-ray player, and then bought Iron Hoof 7 with her own money from this week’s check.

As with everything my friends do, it seems as if I’ve been pulled into learning another game to play with one or two of them that we may all end up learning later.

“I know. It’s just frustrating, is all.”

I heard the sound of hoofsteps coming from the hall on the left side of the ‘estate’ as Pinkie calls it, and noticed her mother trot up to us.

“What’s frustrating? Do you girls need anything?” Pinkie shook her head.

“Oh, no mom, thanks.”

“My mother is what’s frustrating! I just don’t get anything. I’m confused and angry and upset and I just don’t know what to do about it.”

I fell back on the surprisingly plush rug in their living room and stared up at the high vaulted ceiling.

Goddess, this house feels expensive. Why have I never been invited over before?

“Your mother? I was unaware that you had one. Though, I suppose everypony has a mother at some point in their lives. She doesn’t happen to be the Motor Mare, does she?” That caught my attention.

“How’d you know?” She took a seat beside her daughter and put a hoof under her chin.

“Oh, I’ve seen her around. You two have very particular eyes. As did that other large mare that was running around, the uh… the blue one.

Now, at first I thought it could’ve been either of them, but your body type leans toward the… ‘well suited for child rearing’ end of the spectrum like the Motor Mare, and not so much the other one. The colors match better too as far as I could tell.”

I shrugged.

“Fair. Applejack said the same thing the other day. Speaking of, did you know that she’d already figured it out the day she came over to my house like two weeks ago? What the hell kind of friend doesn’t tell you they know who your mother is!? ‘Ah didn’t have proof,’ she said, ‘It made sense from every angle, but Ah figured it’d be best if ya heard it from her,’ she said. Ugh.” Mrs. Pie nodded.

“Ah, Heir’s granddaughter is a very smart pony, that’s not very surprising. I suppose she thought that it might be better if your mother told you herself because, really, who would you rather hear it from? Your mother finally coming out about who she is to you, or your friend making guesses she doesn’t have the proof for?”

I attempted to fight that. In my head an argument started to form, but it never finished compiling and fell apart.

“Okay, maybe she had a point. It’s still irritating.”

I guess she decided she was going to be around for a while, so Mrs. Pie made herself more comfortable and brought Pinkie close as she stroked her mane.

“What am I, a cat?” she complained. Her mother nodded.

“My little pink cat, to be exact. Well, what’s so frustrating about her? I haven’t seen her do her usual morning drives as of late, has she gone somewhere?” she asked. I sighed.

Well, now you’re caught.

“Yeah… she just… disappeared last Friday without warning. Nopony knows where she is or where she went.”

The cat thing might not have been accurate. Dog is a better word. She’d started scratching behind Pinkie’s ear, and the filly went limp and started kicking one of her hind legs.

“Good to know that tick is still there. You and your father are the only ones that have it.” Then she turned back to me.

“That is quite the quandary, Twilight. Everypony has their reasons for doing things. You don’t happen to know why she left, do you?” Pinkie was just gone now. Completely at the mercy of her mother’s hooves, almost like a puppet.

Well, at least you’re enjoying it. When mine did stuff like that to me, it was like, borderline incest. Or pedophilia. Both? Both.

“Kinda. I don’t know exactly what she’s doing, but I’ve been told it’s dangerous and she’s putting others in harm’s way.”

Draining magic from the planet and launching a comet into the surface for a world destruction level event if that anon on X-chan is to be trusted. Apparently, that thread was deleted, so now there’s not even a record of it. That would be how the government spreads rumors.

“Then, why don’t you turnabout your thinking?” My brows furrowed.

“Huh?” She worked her hooves around Pinkie’s back, and whether or not the filly willed it, she turned over and her mother started massaging her.

“Yes, look at things from a new angle. I met your father during a legal case back in my early years as an attorney.”

Her mother’s hooves paused for a moment, and it was like the trance was broken.

“You were an attorney?” Pinkie asked.

“I still am. What do you think I do all day? Your father runs the business, I just manage the books from time to time. Anyways, due to your grandmother’s special circumstances and the odd way immigration works in this country, it was a question as to whether or not he legally owned the mine. His uncle, your grandfather’s brother, was… well, let’s just call him a bad actor. He was after the mine and had a legal claim on it, provided there was no explicit will or a direct heir.

Thanks to your grandmother’s unpronounceable last name, which she didn’t know how to translate into Equestrian, and the sheer lack of documents on her, it was very difficult to finally get this settled without going through all the processes for citizenship. In the end it was settled with a blood test.

Since her documentation was an absolute mess, we finally had it ordered that your great uncle had to provide a blood sample to get DNA on him, and after a matching test with your grandfather’s remains, we won the case.

I figured that if we couldn’t get written records, then we’d get biological ones. It took me months to finally think of that, but I was a much younger mare then. You can’t always have every answer in front of you because sometimes, things are hidden. However, if you change your perspective on an issue, you may just see something you couldn’t before.”

Hmm… how could I look at this in a different way? Maybe I should see if I can’t get a hold of Luna. I bet if I tell somepony that I’m her niece, questions will be raised and get to her somehow… Yeah…

“Thanks… I think I have an idea of how to at least get some information now.” She smiled and nodded in that way mothers do.

“Of course dear. Anyways, if you need anything, I’ll be in my office.” She started to get up, but Pinkie stopped her.

“So, wait, finish the story! How did you and dad get together?”

The crystal blue eyes of the gray mare shifted up and to the right, then her irises constricted and her cheeks started to redden.

“Oh, goodness, my, I um… Ha! Well, that’s um… No. No, I will not be finishing that story.” With little effort, she shifted Pinkie off and then bolted for the other side of the estate.

“Wha- Why!? Don’t run away! Tell me what happened!” And after her Pinkie ran.

“That was… unexpected?”

I woke up this morning and made a call. My body pillow won’t arrive for another day, so once again, a sleepless night. Or at least one full of nightmares. I don’t understand why it’s getting so bad. It was never this bad before Celestia arrived, was it? No… no, that’s not true, is it? Things are… just going back to the way they were.

Why is this happening? I’ll be fourteen in two months, I finally got my cutiemark, but now… I’m even more confused about what I’ll do with my life than I was before.

After three different secretaries, I finally got one who said she was going to transfer my call through. I guess she must have some record of who I am on file in case she ever got this call.

“Ah, it seems as if she’s ready now. Please hold and I’ll put you through,” the secretary said.

And that was the job I wanted. I wanted to be her. I think I might die of boredom if I really did get her job.

The line picked up again.

“Hello? Twilight, are you there?”

“Finally. Are four secretaries really necessary? Can’t I have a direct line or something? I… I’m family, right?” A sigh on the other end.

“Yes, I suppose you are, aren’t you? I’ll have to have that set up. I can’t have just anypony calling my personal phone, let alone from an insecure outside line. I’ll get something sent to you later. However, my attention is being split several ways at the moment and I need you to make this quick. Do you need something?”

Well, here goes nothing. Based on that, I doubt I’m going to get an answer today anyways.

“How did… how did my father die?” I couldn’t even hear her breathing on the other end now. Radio silence. Even quieter than if the connection had been dropped.

“Luna?”

“I’m here, I’m here, I um… I’ll be back in Underhoof later this evening anyways, I… we should… have this conversation in person. That… isn’t a short story, you know.” I nodded like the big blue unicorn was in front of me.

Of course, that’s not what she really looks like, is it?

“I figured. It all happens tomorrow, right?”

“It does. I’m certain she’ll be back sometime soon as well. I cannot stop her, but there is a chance that I can stop the comet. I will do what I can, I’m even working on that as we speak, but in the end, you will be the one that makes the difference.

No matter what she says, you are the most important thing in her life. If nothing else… take solace in the fact that you’re worth more than the world to her. She loves you, Twilight. Never forget that. Anyways, I really do need to focus. I will see you later.”

A few hours after that, the doorbell rang.

Weird. Who would just come and ring the doorbell? Maybe somepony is looking for Dad.

We don’t really live ‘on the way’ to anything, so they had to have come here specifically for him.

Well, too bad. They just missed him.

I made my way downstairs and the bell rang again.

“Damn impatient ponies. I’m coming!” I finally made it to the front door and twisted the knob to open it.

“Good goddess, space travel is draining. It’s a wonder that I managed out there for all the centuries I did. Though, time is relative, so maybe I’m not as old as I think. Anything change while I was gone?”

Wha- wha-

“What the fuck!? You! You’re! You’re-”

“Me!” The big white mare enveloped me in giant hooves and picked me up like a plaything. “I missed you so much! Who knew that leaving for a week could do that to a mare? I’ll never take another fourteen year trip again, I don’t think I could stand to be away from my precious little Starlight any longer♥ Nightlight honey, are you home?” she called out in the empty house. I managed to find the ability to breathe again and squirmed out of her grip.

“For the love of the goddess, can you remember my name for five minutes!? Dad went grocery shopping, so he’s about an hour away right now.”

That crazy mare smile of hers flooded her face, and in a whirlwind, I was suddenly between her legs on the Harley.

“Perfect♥ That means I have you all to myself, my darling Twilight♥”

We arrived at the bridge after circling town at least twice until she decided that ‘this is the place.’ She stopped at several spots along the way, where she would argue with herself, move her hooves this way and that way, then decide that it ‘wasn’t the place’ and move on.

“Are you done?” I asked. She kicked the stand down and let the bike rest.

“I am. You may now exit the vehicle.”

With that, we moved over to my usual spot on the bridge, and I surveyed the damage. It’d rained at least once since last Friday, but the burn marks were still all around the place.

Nopony asked questions, or nopony has figured out it was us. Either way, this will probably just fade into the backdrop that is Underhoof, where everything is normal, and I am the anomaly. I prepared my statement that I would never admit that I’ve been rehearsing for a few days now, and then turned to face her.

“Alright, I have some questions, and I-”

“It was… thirteen years ago now, wasn’t it? Yes, on that fateful January day. There are not enough pain killers in the world to stop the excruciating torture that is pushing a foal through the cervix. I’ve been stabbed, shot, burned, shocked and everything in between, yet that day was the one I remember as my most painful. You would think that the average foal coming out of somepony my size would be no problem, wouldn’t you? Well, it was.

Most mares carry babies at about ten percent of their own weight, but you weren’t even close to that for me. You were more like… less than five. I won’t give you the satisfaction of knowing how much I weigh, but you were a heavy foal as it is. The chubby cheeks persist, I see♥”

She poked at my face and I tried to fight her off.

“Gah! Stop it!” She leaned in close and met my horn with hers.

“Never.”

And then she stopped. Now she moved on to my wings, which had been fighting along with me. There must be a wire crossed in my brain or something because I’ve found that they’ll react when I try to move my forelegs a lot of the time. She took the right one, stretched it out and pressed in on the muscle.

All of this was so very weird. Nopony had ever really messed with them so now it was like somepony was touching a set of legs on my back that shouldn’t be there. Nothing bothered me more than her expression though. She looked… disappointed.

“Why… are you doing all this?” She moved on to the next wing.

“To make sure there aren’t any deformations. There hasn’t been an alicorn foal in… over two millennia. Luna and I were the last of our kind, and for almost all that time, we believed we were incompatible with regular ponies. To be entirely honest with you, I wasn’t sure you were anything more than a normal unicorn until after I came home.” I sighed.

“That’s not what I meant…” She nodded.

“Nor do I intend to answer what you meant. Flap for me.”

I made an effort to get my wings to move on their own, and after several attempts and nearly tripping over myself, I finally got them to act alone. There was an ambivalence to her. She looked pleased to see that I could do it, yet… there was this… air about her. Like she was happy to know that I’m fine, and sad about it at the same time.

“Ah… good and strong. It’s… too bad, things turned out like this. I’d hoped you would grow as a normal unicorn, unburdened by your heritage, but it seems as if… that was never possible. The moment I saw you run after me all the way back at the beginning of last month, I could already tell. Unicorns aren’t that strong, not at your age, especially not fillies. You might not have realized it, but your muscles can move harder and faster than anypony else’s. Had you a little weight training, I’m certain you might find yourself surprised at what all you can lift.

The real testament to your ability, however, had to be picking up my bass. Its properties change depending on the pony who last had it, but I have to tell it to change if I want to loan it to anypony else. I had it set to something like sixty pounds because I use the thing like a hammer, and you swung it. Your form was bad, and your technique needs serious work, but most ponies in this town couldn’t do that if they tried.”

Celestia leaned up against the guard rail and crossed her forelegs over it.

“Well, it’s not as if either of my real parents were here to show me. Why is that a bad thing?” She chuckled and shook her head.

“I suppose one can look at it as if it isn’t, but speaking from experience, I’m just hoping you aren’t doomed to repeat my life. You seem to take after your father though, so maybe… it won’t be so bad after all.”

“I don’t understand.” I didn’t know what else to say. It’s like she’s remembering things I don’t know about and expecting me to catch on. She sighed and brought me into her lap with her magic.

“Ah, my precious little naïve Twilight. Time… is a cruel thing, ya know? A very rude force, it brings you along for the ride, but forgets to let you off. In ten years, you and all your friends will still be aging together. In twenty, you will have passed the stopping point, but your friends will continue to grow older. In thirty, they will all have foals your age, and you… will have nothing. In forty, their foals might have foals, and you will still be there watching from afar.

In fifty, their bodies will have deteriorated. They will be surrounded by progeny and ponies that love them, and you… will have grown another few inches taller. In sixty, they may very well be dead and the next generation will have begun, and you… will be just like us.

We are outsiders to time. Or better yet, we don’t play by time’s rules. The years will pass, and you will only grow stronger. You will befriend many ponies, and you will watch them all burn their lives out.

One day, you’ll realize that this stallion you watched breathe his first, you now watch as he breathes his last. You’ll blink and another year will be gone. You’ll wake up every day wondering if today is the day you lose another, if you can continue suffering through the heartache. The solitude, the silence.

Time and time again, you’ll hear about funerals and births from your friends, only to realize that these aren’t even the ones you remember. They’re the sons and daughters. The grandsons and granddaughters.

Generation after generation, ponies will come and ponies will go, and you’ll grow detached from them. Standing side by side with them, marching off to war knowing that in the end, you’ll survive and any number of them could be snuffed out like candle flames. In mere minutes, an arrow to the head will heal. In simple hours, your torn limbs will regrow. But what is an hour or a minute to you who stands outside time?

To truly be able to die, you would have to be vaporized completely. But even then, you would have to learn how to turn off your natural defenses. To halt your regeneration, to stop your own instincts, to drain the magic from your being. The only way to do that is to either throw yourself into a star, or have another alicorn do it for you. And when she’s your sister… how could she possibly do that to you?

Ponies can see it, when you lose hope. It’s a very visible thing, you tend to lose color, and the light in one’s eyes dies out. You waste your days repeating the same routines you’ve been doing for centuries, going through the motions without so much as a thought in your head, hoping that one day you simply lose consciousness for good.

You fuck every stallion you come across, hoping that somepony might give you something to fret over, but time after time after time, they all just end up the same. And then they grow old and die. Leaving you behind with nothing.

And then… you find something rare. Something you’ve never seen before, something you’ve never felt before. In the hundreds of years of empty life you’ve lived watching over these creatures whose lives burn so dimly and fade out so quickly, you see one that burns brightly.

‘Why do you look so sad?’

He used different words back then of course, the language has evolved over time, but… nopony had ever asked me that. It’s hard to believe that having everything can’t make a pony happy. They see you in all the luxuries the world has to offer and think that it is simply just the way you are. But this one… he was different.

For the first time in centuries, you decide to let yourself get close to somepony. You find that, something about this one is strange. He doesn’t just want a taste of you like all the others, he wants to know you. He wants to understand you, he wants to love you in a way that you never understood.

In time, everything else is halted and you experience what it is like to live again. But then, the robotic life you used to live comes back to haunt you with a vengeance. Your wants and desires are at odds with the lives you’re tasked over, and you can’t stand it anymore. It finally gets to the point where your sister would accept your request to end you, but now you have something worth living for, someone worth living for.

Alas, the fool can’t stand to see you fight and tries to enter a world he has no right to. He gets too close to the sun… and burns. However, something strange happens. Rather than death, he is separated, mind, body, and soul. His pieces are cast about the universe, but there is a chance now. You can get him back, you know you can, you just have to find him.

You leave your home in search of your love. Each piece off in a distant corner of the galaxy, you search and search and search. You gather two and find that a twisted old lover’s curse has finally come back to haunt you. Your last piece takes your all to recover, but you manage it. You have him, you’re back together, and you take him home.

A miracle happens, and now you fear losing him even more. Signs show up that he’s unstable. That there’s a danger of him separating again, that you might lose him once more. In your desperation, you do everything in your power to gather the one thing that could possibly save him. But you’re too late. Your miracle rears her precious head and stops you in your tracks. Shortly after he names her, his time has come.

You come to a crossroads. You can either chase after him again, this time with a plan in mind and a way to really save him, or, you can stay with your miracle, knowing that she will never know her father. Torn to pieces, you struggle for months while you regain your strength.

Finally, you decide that for her future, she must know her father, even if it’s only for a moment. She deserves a family, her family, and so do you. So, you leave her with a trusted piece and chase after him once more.

During your time recollecting him, you realize something. Your miracle surprises you again when even in the reaches of space, you can still feel her. You realize that you aren’t the only one that can feel her, and even in his ruinous state, he is after her too.

A plan is born. Just like the first time, we can start over. With the notes gathered in one place, the sweet lullaby can soothe the beast. An encore. One more time, one more time.

One last Harmony, and finally, you’ll be whole again…”

Thank you, My Twilight (Part 2)

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Epilogue: Beautiful Picture

Author's Note

Beautiful Picture

Epilogue: Beautiful Picture

Twilight

The wind going west was always something wonderful to feel on my skin. The summery-spring air had a certain flavor to it that one could only find in May, and I loved to ride this time of year. Spending the last few years in Canterlot for college was a big change of pace, but I was glad to finally get the summer off so I could go home. As much as she denies it, Mom was right, Luna is kind of a slave driver.

Of course, that was my fault in the first place. I learned what I could from mother about spellcraft, but she’s been out of the game for so long that she can only teach so much.

I’d never left Underhoof and I’d always planned to go visit other places one day, so I couldn’t refuse when she gave me the offer. I left a lot of my friends at home, so it’ll be nice to see them again. Funny to think that I might not have ever interacted with any of them if Mom never showed up on that October day seven years ago. How time flies.

I’d decided against moving a whole bunch of my things back home for the time being as I still wasn’t finished with my degree, so I rode my bike home. It’s a long drive from Canterlot to Underhoof, but I hadn’t done one in a few years at this point.

Taking the extra couple days to have my bike at home wouldn’t be so bad, and I got to see the countryside again. Equestria is a beautiful place, and one day, I’ll see it all.

When the grasslands changed to early wheat crops, I knew I was getting close. I pulled back on the gas and flew past the speed limit. I was excited to see everypony again, and it was finally setting in that I was almost home.

Just a little bit further, just a little bit further… I passed over the next rise, and sure enough, there was that wall of fog I remember growing up behind. I let off the gas and shifted down to neutral, rolling my way in town. The humid air, the smell of wheat that permeated the place, the slow flowing river gurgling below the bridge into town.

I’m home.

I took the bike back into third and turned right onto River Road, passing Crystal Drive and checking to see if the Pies had their gate open. The estate was a little ways down, but not so far away that it was caught in the fog. It was closed, unfortunately, so that meant they weren’t taking visitors at the moment.

I’m sure Pinkie already made it home since she decided to fly, but I bet she’s still asleep. It’s only ten in the morning, and she’s had a lot of early mornings these past few weeks. I sped up a little, passed the old house, and finally, to ours a little further away.

After mom moved in, we decided it was time for an upgrade. Dad’s book hit it off, and the first one in the series is on track to have a movie made soon, so that’s exciting. The garage was closed, and nopony had a car or a motorcycle out in the driveway, so it didn’t look like anypony was home.

That’s unfortunate. I bet she took her with her, wherever she is.

I pushed the face of my helmet up and kicked the stand down as I pulled in. Once I made sure I had the keys in my pocket this time, instead of leaving them there and killing the battery like I did last month, I headed inside. For once, the front door was locked, so I fumbled my keys back out and opened it.

Huh. They must really all be gone.

Just to be sure though, as soon as I got in the house, I called out,

“Dad? Mom? Is anypony home?”

The layout was much like the old house, but there were two more bedrooms on each floor, this time with a garage and a pool in the back. We finally put a fence up out back, so Applejack officially considers it ‘a yard.’

“Dad’s out, and Mom is with Aunt Luna. Welcome home sis!” From the other side of the house happily trotted out the five-year-old, whom I’d assumed was with one of his parents.

Gee, who was supposed to be watching you?

Rather than let my face show that, I smiled and approached the colt.

“Hello Dusk♥” I wrapped a wing around the little white unicorn and then took my helmet off. “So, where is Dad? Did Mom take Dawn with her? Why did they leave you here alone?”

Again, crime isn’t much of a thing in Underhoof, but it still happens, and these days, we live in one of the fancier houses in this little place.

“Dad just went to get some food for tonight. He couldn’t get what he needed in town, so he went to the bigger city up north. He said he’d only be gone for a couple hours.” I sighed.

That’s Dad alright.

“What about Mom and Dawn?”

Dusk was a little forgetful. You could tell him a list of things, and then have him remember two or three at the most. He’ll be six in October, so that’s not really too bad for his age. He shows a lot more promise in the magic field now than I did at his age, so I can only wonder what he’ll end up doing later on.

He came out much darker, but these days, he has a pink-white coat like his mother, green eyes like his father with our family gold flecks in the iris, and a black mane and tail with deep violet and blue streaks, not too dissimilar from my own.

“Dawn is with her, and like I said, they’re with Aunt Luna.”

I brought a hoof to my face. She took her with her after I left!? Ugh, that is so like her!

I unzipped my jacket and took it off to stretch out my wings. Riding with them out is a massive pain in the ass because they’re always trying to catch air and lift me off the bike. I either have to stuff them in something, or focus half my attention at clamping them to my sides to make sure I don’t lose hold of the bike. I crashed like that once, and that was… not a good day, to say the least. The first one was a gift. The second, I had to pay for myself.

“So they are… Well, how have you been? I haven’t seen you since Spring break.” The colt nodded and then lead me to the TV in the living room… where he’d discovered Iron Hoof 7.

Ooh boy. That brings back some memories.

“I was digging through some stuff when I found this thing. I’ve been playing all morning.”

By ‘this thing,’ I’m sure he meant our ancient Ponystation 4 that had been sitting in my closet after it got replaced with the 5.

Digging through some stuff. Sure.

Since we moved to Canterlot for school, Pinkie and I don’t get much time to play anymore, but I wonder if he’ll be surprised when his big sis knows what she’s doing in this game… I could feel the smile forming on my face, but tried my best to hide it.

“Did you now? Do you like it?” He nodded and went back to the couch to pick up his controller.

“I do! I can’t do it all the time, but I was playing in practice mode and I got this guy to do something cool! Normally, if you move the controller like this,” he did what I can only imagine was either an intentional quarter circle forward 1, or a failed crouch dash 1, “you get this move.” Jin took a step forward and did his armor crush.

“But if you kinda wait after the first part…” he had his character run up to the dummy, and then did a proper CD1, resulting in the electric. “…you get that! Isn’t that cool!?” his dummy exploded in red lightning, screwing off to the ground.

Immediately, my mind brought up the steps that follow this into a combo.

Talk about memories. Goddess. We took a road trip to a tournament for this. What a nightmare that was.

I smiled and laughed to myself, but Dusk caught me.

“Was that funny?” I shook my head.

“No, no, I’m just… thinking back, is all. Have you pulled Ox into this yet?” He shook his head.

“No. He said he was with Pappy today, so he couldn’t play. He’ll be here later when everypony comes for the party though.” I nodded and then decided I’d teach him something.

“Well then. I guess I’ll just have to play with you.”

“Yay!” The little unicorn jumped on me and I caught him in my forelegs. I rubbed the base of my horn against his and hugged the little colt tight.

It’s good to be home.

“I’m back! Dusk, can you come help me with the groceries?”

“Dorya!” And thus ended my little brother. The colt sighed and then answered Dad.

“Yes sir,” he said, dejected. The white unicorn started to get up from my lap, but I pulled him back in and kissed his head.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve been playing for years. It takes time, but you’ve got a lot of that ahead of you. You’ll get it one day.” Dusk’s ears perked up, and more enthusiastically, he went to help Dad.

The blue stallion walked in the house with four different bags in his magic, and two more in his teeth. I took the two out of his mouth with my own magic, and another from his.

“Geez, are you feeding all of Underhoof?” We set the bags down on the kitchen counter, and then Dad turned to hug me. I was taller than him now, so it was a little strange for me. He’d gained a few gray hairs here and there, no doubt due to Dawn and Mom, but he wasn’t too bad off. He stopped trying to grow out that pathetic excuse for a beard after Mom finally settled in, and if anything, that was worth it alone. It was really bad.

“Honey! Welcome home. I haven’t seen you in a few months, how were your last few weeks?” I shrugged.

“Eh. It was mostly tests, and none of the fun kinds. I spent most of that time keeping Pinkie on task slash from having a mental break down. My stuff was easy, hers was… less than that.” Dad sucked air in through his teeth.

“Ouch. Celestia picked her up from the airport yesterday night, and she did seem pretty wiped when she stopped by to say hi. How was your drive?”

I puffed air out my snout. She never did stop driving ponies around. She knows everypony in town and is on a first name basis with half the state, I swear. I suppose that I get it now though.

She got me my own bike when I was fifteen, and some of my best memories are of when we used to go on rides together. Well, that and her wearing that ridiculous foal carrier. It wasn’t legal to carry Dusk or Dawn around like that, and she should’ve never been driving the bike while she was pregnant, but Mom is extra-legal as it is.

“Pretty good. It’s been a long time since I went for a long distance one, so this was nice. I stopped to take a few pictures of the sunrise this morning, I think they turned out pretty well. Speaking of Mom, why is she in Canterlot?” He shrugged.

“Beats me. She said she needed to see Luna, snatched Dawn out of her bed, and then teleported away.”

I scowled. She wasn’t around to do it though, so I just found the sun and put my gaze there.

“That is so like her.” Dad nodded.

“Of course it is. I remember she took somepony to Canterlot to ‘check out the university’ on a Wednesday morning a few years back.” I chewed on my hoof.

So very like her.

Dusk staggered his way in the door with two bags of food in his magic, and another in his teeth. The poor foal was barely holding up.

Should I let him try to struggle his way here, or should I help? Should I do it where he knows I helped? Or should I just do this silently?

Slow step after slow step, it looked like he was going to make it, so I decided to let him do it.

I’ll help if he loses it.

Sure enough, his knees buckled a little before he reached the counter, and I caught everything and set it down.

“Almost,” I said as I helped him up. He sighed.

“I could’ve done it…” Dad shook his head.

“Maybe if you were a year older. I promise, you’ve got plenty of time. Just be patient.” Dusk groaned.

“Always with the patience. All four of you.” I shrugged.

“Well, if anypony knows a thing or two about waiting, it’s your mother and your aunt. Trust goes a long way.”

The sparkly green-eyed colt raised a brow at me, then rolled his eyes and went back into the living room.

“Whatever. I’m gonna practice that thing until it works all the time.” I chuckled.

“Yeah, good luck with that.” His execution is worse than Pinkie’s was all the way back then. Of course, he’s like me, so he’ll be at this until he figures it out.

Poor kid. You’ve brought this upon yourself.

I turned back to Dad and said,

“Well, I’d planned to go see all my friends since I was home, but Dusk was alone and I didn’t want to leave him like that.” He nodded.

“Sure. Just make sure you’re back in time for the party.”

“Yes sir!”

I hadn’t been on the road for five minutes before I noticed Dash fly by. She pulled a loop to slow herself, and I pulled over to say hi.

“Ha! Look at this loser! Dressing up like her mom, trying to be a bad bitch on a bike. How’ve you been?”

Rainbow hovered gingerly above my passenger seat, and then let herself float down as if she weighed nothing. She’d cut her mane short in the last year or so since I saw her, and she was dressed up like her own mother.

“Interesting choice of words for a half pint. Where’d you get the suit?”

She was wearing a Wonderbolts jumpsuit with a pair of goggles over her forehead. Last I heard, she was going to South Dartmoor University for Air and Performance Sports. The Wonderbolts were the ‘professional level’ of said sports, so if this was real, that meant…

“I got signed! Can you believe it!? They came to me! I’m gonna be a pro!”

It wasn’t that much of a surprise. Rainbow had gained a few hands over the years, but she was definitely on the small side for adult mares. That, however, worked to her advantage in her chosen field, since it made it easier for her to come out of dives and the like. She’s very fast and precise with her wings. I remember watching her get her cutiemark during a race one day when she almost lapped all the other pegasai in the girl’s school. I nodded.

“I can believe it. Honestly, we kind of expected this way back in like… 14. What are you doing about school?” She rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, I have to finish that, unfortunately. It’s not a ‘requirement’ on the books, but really, it’s a requirement. At least a few years of military service, or a four-year degree in an athletics field. I’m guaranteed to have a spot on the main team once I finally finish, but for now, I’ll just be practicing with them and working on the sidelines until school is done. I’ll get paid for it, and I get free trips around the country, but none of the ‘fun’ until later. I still get to fly for the school though, so I guess it’s not all bad.”

When we finally got to see the pictures of her mother, Fluttershy made the connection and figured out that she was a Wonderbolt before she joined the military. She suffered an injury after an endurance race and ended up unable to fly for long periods of time, or even at competition level speeds. She still had her aerospace background to fall on, so she was easily accepted into the Air Force as a pilot later on.

Her dad doesn’t like her racing again, nor does he want her to pursue something as hard on the body as air performance is, but I guess he doesn’t have a choice in that now. He was always worried about Rainbow repeating her mother’s life, but this looks like another step in that direction.

“I see. How is your dad taking this?” She let out a breath and rolled her eyes.

“Oh, you know, same as usual. He is not happy with me. Things at home are kinda tense right now. I didn’t talk to him before I accepted the job, and this only happened a few weeks ago after I won a comp in Cloudsdale. Didn’t tell him I was even in that to begin with, so…”

I sucked in air through my teeth.

“Yikes. Geez, you should’ve at least let him know you were halfway across the country. When did this all start?” She sighed.

“Oh, ya know, sometime last year. I made the varsity team, and he told me not to join, and I did it anyways.” I took a deep breath.

“Dash, please.”

“Come on, I was just doing what I thought I should do! It’s my life, not his!”

“I get it, but you have to at least talk to him about it. He doesn’t have to like it, but he’s your dad, he should know about things like that. He probably just-”

“Doesn’t want me to end up like Mom, yeah, I know. Look dude, I’ve had this conversation with him a few times. He just doesn’t get it.” Dash crossed her hooves and pouted on my passenger seat.

Hmm.

“Have you tried talking to Mom about it?” She frowned.

“Yours?” I nodded. “No, why?”

“Well, she’s really good at that. Dealing with family issues and all. If you’ll remember, she got Rarity’s parents remarried, and they’re still together. She’s been around for a while. If she could stay put for five minutes, she might even make a good counselor to somepony.” Dash shrugged.

“I mean, I guess? I don’t know. Where would I even see her to ask? It’s not like we’re around each other often. I don’t even think Dad knows her.” I put a hoof on her shoulder.

“Everypony knows Celestia, especially in this town. You know what? We’re having a welcome home party later tonight. Come by and bring your dad with you. I’ll steal my sister away, and that should give you a chance to talk to her.” Dash snorted.

“Man, you are just the worst. Butting in on my problems like you’re my friend or something. ‘Aight, I’ll swing by. I’ll drag the old bastard if I have to, but we’ll be there.” I crossed my forelegs.

“You’re damn right I am. Good, I’ll see you later.”

After seeing the future Wonderbolt, the next pony in line would be Rarity, so I continued down the road until I hit the highway and turned right.

As I came up on their house, I saw that her gate was open and there were four cars in the driveway, meaning everypony was home. It was somewhere closer to noon on Sunday, so I can only imagine they were watching a hoofball game. That became something of a family event after Rarity’s dad moved out here, and not much has changed about that.

Mom caught them fighting once, and I’m not sure they ever dared to defy her again. Either that, or she really did help them root out the problems in their marriage, one or the other. I like to believe she has the capacity for ‘nefarious evil,’ but I know better.

Having Dusk, and maybe that thing with the comet changed her, but not enough to make it seem like she was a different pony. She still cares, she’s still nosey, and she’s still unpredictable.

I pulled in beside the violet vehicle with the rhinestones on the license plate that I knew to be Rarity’s car, and parked the bike in the grass. I walked up and rang the doorbell, and Rarity happened to answer.

“Ah! Twilight, darling, why didn’t you tell me you were home? Come in, I’ll-”

“What the fuck was that!?”

“You call that a flag!? He was just playing the game!”

“Are you fucking kidding me!?”

Rarity’s face froze and very quickly, she stepped out and closed the door behind her.

“On second thought, maybe not.” I laughed and we trotted over to the bike.

“I see you guys are having a good time. How’ve you been?” Rarity smiled and shook her head.

“Oh, you know. Hoofball Sunday comes again and everypony is ready to attack the referees. Ever since Father got a job teaching at the state university, these afternoons have become… much more lively. The season is almost over though, what with school being nearly out, so the championship games are what’s left. We’re in the finals, so it’s particularly important to them.” I nodded.

“I see. Shouldn’t he be there? I know he’s not head coach, but-”

“No, no, he actually took the last week of school off for me. I wanted to go to Applewood to look at art schools and see what’s what, and they got all up in my business about it, so now we’re planning to go cross-country together as a family. I’m finally finished with that awful associate’s degree so now I can actually do something I want to. If there’s anything I miss about Mother’s old job, it would have to be the money. It was better that she quit in the long run of course, but it was at least nice at the time. I’m the one trying to blow our finances on a liberal arts degree anyways, so I should be the one to pay for it, but you know how they are.”

Rarity ended up getting involved with the girl’s school theatre department sometime in 2014, and started making costumes for the plays. Her cutiemark showed up shortly thereafter, and she figured that she could’ve gotten it ages ago if the divorce hadn’t ‘numbed her,’ as she puts it, to her own feelings. It was only apparent to her after her parents remarried how screwed up she really was because of it.

She was descending into a porn addiction on a level close to Fluttershy, drowning her sorrows in anything that felt like affection, all the while desperately trying to get her mother’s attention by any means.

We met at a good time and she’s thanked me a few times over the years for being her friend. I needed her just as bad as she needed me at the time, but she really believes that getting involved with my family changed how she could’ve turned out.

We keep in touch, but I haven’t actually seen her in person in almost half a year. We all still text each other, but Pinkie and I are usually halfway across the country, and Luna usually has me doing things during the breaks.

“Well, that sounds like it’ll be fun. Where are you thinking of going? Canterlot has a few schools like that too.” She shrugged.

“Really, I have no idea. I’ve never had any ‘formal’ training in my craft, and everything I know I learned from Mrs. Lace down at the clothing store in town. We’re taking the month to visit several places, and I’m sure we’ll go by Canterlot to see the Castle Gardens again. If nothing else, Father will finally get his wish and have that RV he always wanted.” I nodded.

“Yeah, he used to talk about that a lot, didn’t he?” She raised a hoof and leaned her head to the side.

“Oh, I’m almost certain he’s using me as an excuse to get it. Not that I mind of course, the cookie business has been doing well lately, and we’ve had a good sum of extra money coming in from that, if you can’t tell by the brand new MX-5 they bought for Sweetie,” she said through clenched teeth.

A few years into playing stay-at-home mom, Rarity’s Mother decided to start looking into selling her family cookies around town. They appeared at fundraisers, drives, and church and charity events, and eventually enough ponies convinced her to try and sell them commercially. The business has been slowly rolling into something bigger with each year that passes.

As it turns out, she’s from a long line of pastry makers from Cheval, and her cookies are somewhat famous over there, as made by other ponies in her family.

They have a unique texture to them that gives them a light and crispy kind of feel, even though the cookies themselves are actually kinda big. It’s almost like eating sweetened pie crust that’s a little bit thicker than usual. It’s very odd, but very popular here.

They never decided to try and remodel one of the shops in town, so instead, they had a second kitchen added to the house specifically for the bakery, and she sells them online. Mom delivers for her sometimes, and we’ll get free cookies on occasion. Dawn and Dusk are never upset about it, so I guess it’s not a bad thing. I furrowed my brows.

“Why would they get her a car? She’s not even old enough to drive.” Rarity threw her hooves up in the air.

“I know! That was my complaint! Why spend the 30,000 bits when she doesn’t even need it yet!? But no, ‘she’s getting her permit, we want her in something she's familiar with when she starts driving on her own.’ Rubbish. I learned how to drive in my mother’s death trap that is the Viper, and I can still keep up with her behind the wheel! More importantly, they got the one with the turbos! Why!? Was safety not the reason for this? Why would you give a new driver access to something that powerful and that light at the same time? Goddess, it’s frustrating.” Rarity shook her head and sighed.

“Well, that was my rant for the day. How are you?” I chuckled.

“Oh, I’m fine. Pinkie took the BAR again last week, so I’ve had a few rough ones trying to keep her sane. She knows it all this time, but you know how she is, she panics in tests like that.” Rarity nodded.

“Of course. She never made the advanced class for that very reason. Goddess, I remember the summer we spent trying to tutor her. She’s an awful test taker. I still don’t understand her decision to go into law. It always felt so out of character for her.” I shrugged.

“Neither do I, but she says she likes it, and she survived two years of this stuff, so I’m inclined to believe her. Her mother has been doing it for all of her life, so I really don’t find it too surprising.” Rarity shook her head.

“Whatever you say. I’m just concerned about the success she’ll have. Her cutiemark isn’t quite geared for that profession. As good as she is at talking to ponies and making friends, I still find it hard to believe she’s considering pursuing a judgeship instead of something more… social, I suppose.” I sighed.

“I know. She worked at a bakery in Canterlot last summer and she loved it there. I don’t know why she doesn’t just do that, but again, she says she likes her classes, and I’m almost tempted to believe her. She looks like she has fun in the debate room, so maybe that’s actually the case. Fifteen years, and I still don’t know what goes through that head of hers sometimes.” Rarity shrugged.

“Enh. Maybe one day. How did it go with that guy, by the way?” I immediately jumped to cover her mouth.

“Are you out of your mind!? Don’t say things out loud, she’s always watching!” I whispered, searching the sky for any signs of magic.

She wasn’t kidding when she said it would take a century for me to detect her presence. She pops out of nowhere all the time, and I never see her coming out of the teleportation spell. She won’t even teach me the trick behind it, and she’s made it a point to make me figure it out myself.

It was true. I met a stallion in Canterlot, and we get along. The problem is, Mom. My lazy, irresponsible, carefree mother found out the first time I started getting close to a colt, and she made it her business.

Family records, medical history, criminal records, everything. His distant uncle had been arrested in a state far, far away from here, and she brought it up the one time I invited him over for dinner. Needless to say, he didn’t last long.

My current, and I hesitate to even think the word, coltfriend, has been kept in explicit secrecy and I’ve always had barriers and wards up any time I’m with him just to make sure she can’t find me. I even set up duplicates with moving paths in hopes I can trick her into believing I’m somewhere else. It’s very stressful. Rarity threw my hooves off her mouth.

“Goddess, I was just making friendly conversation!” I pulled my hooves back and put them together.

“I’m sorry. I really like him, I’m just… not ready to let either of them know of the other’s existence.” She rolled her eyes.

“That’s all you had to say. I get it, she’s unhinged. Anyways, what are your plans for the summer? I’ll be gone most of May and part of June of course, but we don’t leave until next week. The old man still hasn’t decided on which RV he’s going to get, and we’re going to visit dealerships starting tomorrow.”

What are my plans? I hadn’t really thought on that.

“To be honest, I don’t have any. Well, I suppose I wanted to take my siblings to Equestrian Flags at some point, but that doesn’t have to happen on a specific date.” Rarity raised a brow.

“You mean to say, you wanted to take Dawn to Equestrian Flags, correct?” I straightened my lips.

“Okay, so maybe that is the case, but I’m sure Dusk would have fun. We could bring Oxford, and maybe his parents, or the rest of the Apples. I don’t know.” She huffed and shook her head.

“You’re going to spoil that filly.” I stomped my hoof.

“She’s mine, damn it! I was the one who changed all her diapers! I was the one who raised her for the first three years of her life! That stupid old mare sat around and played with her boy while I did all the work! It’s not fair!”

Most of that was true. Mom did in fact change some diapers, and she also breast fed the baby until Dawn was off of that, but I spent all the time with her. As soon as I saw her, I knew that she and I were going to be the best sisters we could. I loved taking care of her, I loved playing with her. I never had an older sister, so I got to play the role of the one I wished I had.

There were some questions raised on how she had the foals of a dead stallion… again, I suppose, but I recently learned about a time spell that had never been completed that was created by the Sun Queen in the middle of her reign over Equestria. She said she never got it to work right and eventually scrapped it, but I don’t believe it. It’s unlike her to give up on anything, and especially something that important. Rarity shook her head again.

“Denial is a hard drug to quit, Twilight. I certainly hope that this stallion you’re with is prepared for the crazy that runs in your family. I’m a little concerned that that poor filly is going to have to grow up with two mothers until you really move out.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Oh, shut up. I think I’ve been lectured enough today. Are you going to be at the party?” She smiled and nodded.

“Yes, princess.” I scowled at her.

“Uh-huh. And don’t you forget it. Make sure you bring the rest of your family. Dad bought enough to feed town, so you might as well.”

Rarity laughed and made her way back to the front door as I mounted my bike.

“Of course, darling. See you later.”

As the case seems to be, I ran into the next pony on my list as she was flying… somewhere. I know her house is in the northeast side. Underhoof is laid out a lot like a grid over a big circle, the circle in this case being the river that surrounds town. Pinkie and I live on the southeast side of town.

Because Canterlot is kind of smack dab in the middle of Equestria’s eastern coast and I absolutely loathe driving through big cities, I decided to take I-70 to I-29, and then the state highways to get home. We’re about two hours west of Rainbow Falls, the city that sits at the crossroads of I-90 and I-29, and because driving there is like injecting myself with the plague, SD-18 is what I typically take home.

Where was I? Oh, right, Fluttershy. Rainbow lives on the south side of I-90, and Rarity lives a little ways down I-90 past the east side of the river in a big house with a lot of land. Not that that’s hard to come by here, but all the same.

Fluttershy lives north of I-90 in the ‘middle class’ community type ‘suburban’ area we have, even though there’s nothing ‘urban’ about Underhoof at all. For good measure, Applejack lives on the northwest side with her grandfather’s pear orchard. Fluttershy was heading west, and with some groceries, so I was at a loss for what she was up to.

“Hey!” I called out. The yellow mare looked up, spun around, and then locked her eyes on me.

“Oh, I recognize that helmet.”

I pulled over and took a seat on the nearby bench just outside one of the many storefronts that lined I-90. The town had grown a little since the whole comet thing, but not that much. The yellow pegasus gingerly floated down, swooped, and then fell slowly into the bench next to me and gave me a hug.

“You’re back! How’ve you been? It’s been, what, six months since you were home?” I nodded and hugged her back.

“It has. It’s good to see you. What are you up to?”

“Oh, I was just dropping some of this off at the shelter, then headed back home. How have you been? Are you doing well at school? Is… is Pinkie okay now? She was… not much of a pony person yesterday…”

After I ended up destroying the comet instead of diverting it like we’d planned, a ton of the shards that weren’t burned up in the atmosphere plummeted to the ground and destroyed areas around the city limits. We were lucky that nopony was hurt, but there were several animals displaced, and lots of angry farmers that had crops burned to the ground thanks to the comet.

Fluttershy signed up to help the shelter take in rescues, and she got her cutiemark shortly thereafter. This was maybe… a few days after I hit the comet. She was the first, not counting Applejack and I, to get it. We had a good idea of what everypony’s mark would look like thanks to the elements literally printing them onto our guitars, but we weren’t really sure how they would be achieved.

The river was low for a few years, lots of trees were uprooted or burned, crops were short, it wasn’t a good time for Underhoof. She took a job at the shelter and has worked there part time ever since.

Working with the animals gave her something else to focus her time on, and that ended up helping her break her addiction for… well, as good as it could.

I hadn’t felt the full effects of puberty just yet before the comet, and in the next year, is when I really got it bad. Applejack’s brother Macintosh was… a point of interest to be sure, but I would later learn that he was that for a lot of ponies, some of whom, suffered consequences for it.

More or less, I understood her issue better after I started to feel it myself, and her, Rarity and I ended up getting through it together.

“Oh, you saw her?” I asked. Shy nodded.

“I did. She said hi, she asked about Gummy, and once she got a little time with him, she went home and passed out. She was a little moody, and I certainly wouldn’t have called that a pleasant visit. What about you?” I shrugged.

“Not much. Dusk went exploring in my room and found the Ponystation 4 and Iron Hoof, so I spent my afternoon bullying him. I decided to drive the bike home, so I took a couple days for the fun of it. My tests this semester were mostly General Ed., so I think we all know how that went. I spent more time quizzing Pinkie for the BAR than I did actually studying on my own.” She nodded.

“Ah, I see. That explains all the bugs on your jacket. Lots of morning driving?” I sighed.

“Oh, absolutely. I probably drove through thirty small towns on the way here, you know how they are about speed limits. They’re all speed traps, all of them! I skirted a ticket at least twice.” Fluttershy giggled.

“Sounds like something your mother would do.” I shook my head.

“I know. I’m not on Dawn’s level of mother-y-ness, but the older I get, the more I see the similarities. I’m pretty sure I should be terrified.” Shy shrugged.

“Oh, I don’t think that would be all bad. She really is a good pony after all.” I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, I’m gonna have to give that one a hard maybe. Morally gray is about as close to ‘good’ as she gets in my book. Anyways, how have you been?” Shy tilted her head.

“Oh, I don’t know. I finished my associate’s out this semester, and I’ve been accepted into the state college to do the rest of my accounting degree, but I’m unsure of the logistics for that. On the one hoof, it’s only a two and a half hour drive. I could apply for a dorm and just come home over the weekends to see Ox and the rest, while keeping up with the shelter.

It shouldn’t be too much work since the math is relatively simple… er, easy for me anyways, but on the other hoof… that’s five hours of driving every week. I don’t really like driving as it is, so… I’m thinking about waiting until we move to go somewhere closer, or just trying to do as much as I can online and taking maybe a semester or two in the dorms.” I furrowed my brows.

“Ox and the rest? Do you mean Oxford?” She frowned.

“Do you know another pony that goes by ‘Ox’? Of course I do, he’s… Oh my goddess, I never told you.” Now I frowned.

“Never told me what?” She straightened her lips.

“A-are you going by the orchard?” I nodded.

“Well, I wanted to see everypony before the party, and I figured I ought to see the Apples since I’ll be home for a while.” She sighed and nodded slowly.

“Okay. I was heading that way anyways, so…” she gestured to my passenger seat and I shrugged.

“I mean, sure I guess. It might mess with your dress though.” She shook her head.

“I ride enough, I’ll manage.”

“Howdy, Twi! Ah didn’t know ya’d made it back already. Mac! Yer wife’s home!”

Fluttershy nodded and stepped in the farm house, and I had to take a minute to process that. When the big red, bearded stallion approached, lifted her, kissed her, and took her grocery bags from her, I still wasn’t sure it’d settled in. Mac took the bags to the kitchen, and then his son approached the yellow mare.

“Hi Fluttershy.”

“Hello Oxford♥ How is my little stallion today?” It was when she picked up his son and referred to him as ‘my little stallion,’ then it set in.

“You married Mac!?” she put the deep violet colt down and nodded.

“Sorta. The weddin’ ain’t fer another month, but they’ve been engaged fer a more than half a year now. How did ya not know? Ah coulda swore we told everypony…” I raised a hoof in disbelief.

“What the hell!? Why didn’t I know!?” Shy shrugged and Ox came over to hug me.

“Hi Auntie Twi.”

I lightly hugged the little colt back, but I was still in a sort of dazed state staring at the two of them.

“Hi Ox.” Shy shrugged and started playing with the pendant I didn’t notice earlier.

A green apple split in half with a pink butterfly over it. Yes, that is indeed a wedding pendant with both of their cutiemarks on it. Does Luna know? What does she think about this? Does that make her a marital cousin to me now? What the fuck.

“I-I really thought we told you… I’m so sorry.” I shook my head and found a seat on the couch.

“Okay, okay, whatever, just tell me how…” I motioned a hoof around her, “this came to be. His mother knows right?” They nodded.

“Of course, she encouraged it,” she said. Shy took a seat next to me, and then Ox came to sit on her lap, which was all kinds of weird for me, and Applejack took the armchair.

“Hey y’all, Pappy needs my help, so Ah’ll be back in a bit. Nice ta see ya again Twi,” Mac said after he came back out of the kitchen.

He waved to everypony, then blew a kiss at Fluttershy, and then she gave him a look. I knew that look. I’d seen my own mother make that very same face enough times to make me vomit. I know what that look does to stallions, and she did it on purpose.

Goddess this is weird.

That look is how Oxford was made. As the story goes, not only did Luna take Mac to a ritzy hotel once during her stay that week in 2013, she did it several times. She later had the displeasure of learning that her ‘big strong stallion that knows how to use that thing between his legs’ was also capable of impregnating alicorns.

If either of them had been males, there would be bastards upon bastards upon bastards related to each of them dating back all the way to the 900’s when Mom was starting to lose the will to live.

Because they’re both females though, it takes a very sturdy seed to plant in alicorn soil. Not just anypony can do it, however, the Apples are famously potent, and known for their numerous offspring.

For a couple years there, they tried to raise Oxford together. Being the Queen and all, it was very difficult to get away with what she’d done, and hiding the baby was near impossible, but with Mom’s help, they managed. However, there was a close scare, and Luna hadn’t learned the lesson the first time and nearly had a second child.

Mom did something horrible and interrupted Luna doing something dumb again, and it was at that point that she made the decision to give Mac up and fund Oxford’s expenses until further notice. You didn’t have a teenager that looked like Mac back then around the castle for no reason, after all.

She usually comes by once a month to see her son and spend the day with him, but she still had a very dangerous relationship with Mac as far as I could tell. Mom would typically chaperone her sister to prevent further incidents, but her visits to Underhoof were much less frequent while I was with her in Canterlot.

I suppose Fluttershy must’ve snaked her way in at some point, but this had to have been going on for a while now. Oxford is fairly shy and doesn’t warm up to anypony easily. If he’s running up and hugging her, then he really knows her.

“S-so, this started about eight months ago…” I brought my hoof to my forehead.

“I was here after the fact, and nopony told me then either? We had a Hearth’s Warming party! Everypony was there! How did I not know!?” Applejack rolled her eyes.

“Oh, put yer wings down. Ya know how Shy’s felt about Mac fer a while now, this ain’t that unexpected.” I sighed and rubbed at my temples.

“Explanation, go. When did it start, where was Luna involved, what’s going on now, everything.” Shy put a hoof under her chin and then began thinking back. It took a while, so I sat there and looked over my ‘cousin,’ whom I’m fourteen years older than.

A dappled deep reddish violet coat with black spots, light violet freckles, a two-tone mane and tail of orange like his father, and streaks of navy blue like his mother’s original coat, even with the sort of ‘starry night sky’ effect Luna’s mane has in them. He has his father’s green eyes, with his mother’s golden flecks, the family trait, and he’s relatively large for a colt his age, which makes us think he’ll be absolutely massive later on. He came out as an earth pony, so he’ll have much more to adjust to than I did when I got my cutiemark. Poor kid.

“Well… maybe this has been going on longer than that. Er, let’s say that it wasn’t ‘official’ until eight months ago.” Applejack nodded.

“As far as Ah could tell, Shy was around a lot after Luna sent them home. As ya know, it almost got out that Mac was her f…” Applejack’s eyes wandered over her nephew and then to the ceiling. “‘Special somepony,’ Ah suppose, and Celestia made the executive decision ta have Luna break off the relationship. Ironic, all thin’s considered, but again, they are sisters. So, naturally, after Mac came home, he was a little depressed.

Ah’m not entirely sure about his feelin’s on everythin’. He never could’ve married her, and he knew that from the start, but Ah think somewhere along the way, he might’ve even developed real feelin’s fer the Queen. Ya don’t just get inta an accidental relationship like that and then almost make a second foal a few years later.

After Shy took notice of it, since we still hung out ta talk once a week, she must’ve picked up on it and started tryin’ ta cheer him up.” Fluttershy nodded.

“He seemed sad and lonely, and I…” blush flooded her cheeks and she started to circle the tips of her hooves. “W-well, you know… He’s always been special to me. I was finally eighteen and things just kind of… moved forward from there. I started coming over on something like a daily basis, and then this guy started treating me more like Applejack than a stranger.”

She looked down and smiled at the colt as she stroked his mane. He reciprocated and leaned into her a little more.

Good goddess, this is weird.

“I think it was after Ox accepted me that he really started to look at me as somepony that could… fill the gap, I suppose. T-things um… m-moved quicker than I um… w-was prepared for, and… and you know how I was, and n-now that I had the r-real thing right in front of me…” Shy clammed up, but I figured I knew where this was going.

“So uh, yeah. Ya know how Mac is, and since he has a habit of doin’ thin’s backwards, they’d already ‘consummated’ before he proposed. Finally got around ta that last September. She ain’t pregnant yet, but she’s been gettin’ sick an awful lot lately, so Ah’m not too sure about that.” Shy rolled her eyes.

“I am not! I took a test yesterday, it’s still negative!” Applejack raised a brow.

“Uh-huh. Sure ya ain’t. Don’t forget sugarcube, apple seeds root deep.” Shy pouted and shook her head, but Applejack smirked.

“Well. That’s something alright. What about his mother?” I asked. Applejack nodded.

“Oh, right. She’s fer it. Ya know Celestia’s feelin’s about motherhood, so she nags on her pretty hard about doin’ this ta him. Since Shy decided ta hop on the train ta Sweet Apple Acres-”

“I really wish you would stop calling it that.”

“Ah will not, and Ah will never stop, sis. Anyways, Ox likes her, so Luna’s okay with it. ‘The current Element of Kindness should be a more than capable stand in for me until he’s grown,’ were her words specifically.

It’s probably fer the best anyways. Even with yer mom takin’ up some of Luna’s duties ta give her a day with him once a month, she can’t give him the time he needs with her. Luna hasn’t even been by since March, so Ah’m almost sure that’s part of why Celestia went up there today. Ah mean, she told me about it, so why else?”

To be fair to her, Luna is still the Queen and still manages a lot of what goes on in the government, specifically on the foreign relations side of things. However, I tend to side with mother in this argument. It’s true that she has a hard job and she’s been doing it for millennia at this point, but having a mother is easily the most important thing in the world.

That’s not to say that fathers aren’t also important, but especially as young as Ox is, now is the time when he would need her most, and, well, she’s not around. She might try, and Shy might be the mother of his siblings one day, but Fluttershy will never be his mother.

The sons, and they will probably all be sons based on the things I’ve heard about Mac’s… physiology, they have together are going to end up very different than Ox. And if Shy does manage to override the position of ‘mother’ in his head, then he’s going to have to suffer through watching her die one day. Speaking of… I should probably ask about that too…

“So, wait. What about the orchard? Wasn’t Mac supposed to take Sweet Apple Acres at some point? Are you guys going to move down there after the wedding, or…?”

Both mares scratched at their manes.

“Yeah, that’s uh…”

“W-we really haven’t figured it out yet.”

“Okay, so… as it stands, our cousins still take shifts at the orchard. Mac ‘owns it,’ but they still run it and keep it producin’. Problem is, thin’s are a little complicated now. None of us wanna separate Ox from his cousins. We think it’ll probably be best if he’s around some ponies that are like him, and he and Dusk might as well be brothers since they were born just days apart.

The other problem stems from the Acres and our cousins startin’ ta want a bigger piece of that pie. He’s 23, he shoulda taken the Acres five years ago, but he was too busy bein’ Luna’s f- uh, stallion ta actually do that, and we… really never could explain exactly why Mac couldn’t come take over the orchard. So, we either need ta have somepony go down and take over, or give it up, and Ah will not give anypony outside my blood my Pa’s birthright. What Ah think will probably end up happenin’ is that Ah’ll end up down there, and possibly in the near future. Ah go down there once a quarter fer a week as it is, so Ah might just have ta bite the bullet on this one.” I frowned.

“Bite the bullet? Do you not want it? I thought your whole thing was that you were going to be an Apple farmer one day.” Applejack sighed and shook her head.

“Well, it’s complicated, alright? Ah want ta have my own orchard one day, and Ah want my own big family and all that, but, Ah didn’t want ta do that immediately. Ah’m hardly twenty, ya know? Ah skipped out on college fer Ox, and Ah guess Ah hadn’t really thought too hard on it, but Ah still expected Mac ta take the Acres.

Ah thought Ah was gonna be free ta do what Ah wanted and go find my own patch of land ta set roots in later. And it’s not as if Ah’m about ta abandon my kin just ta screw off ta who knows where. Broken bonds are hard ta repair.

Ah had plans ta see the world. Ah haven’t spent hardly anythin’ over the years, and Ah’ve been sittin’ on this pile of bits hopin’ that Ah could use ‘em ta travel ta all the places Pa toured while he was servin’, but now… Ah’m just not sure that’s in the cards.”

Geez, that isn’t a fun place to be in. In all fairness, this is Luna’s fault through and through, but there’s not much anypony can do about it now. She seems to value what happens to Ox more than herself though, so… I guess that’s just Applejack being Applejack.

“What is Applebloom doing?” she shrugged and put her chin on her hoof.

“Oh, nothin’ yet. She’s starts tenth grade at the girl’s school next fall, so she’s got a couple years before she does anythin’. She and her friends are lookin’ inta signin’ up fer the military together, so who knows where she’ll end up. If she doesn’t end up doin’ that, Ah’m thinkin’ of havin’ her come back ta Palomino with me and just goin’ ta college somewhere nearby so Ah can have some help.” She took a deep breath and shook her head.

“Ah don’t know. We’ll do somethin’ and this’ll get worked out one way or another. Either way, one of the two of us needs ta be around them just in case there’s another foal next year or so. We didn’t even have primary care of him until he was three, but even then, Ox was a hoofful. Runnin’ the orchard and tryin’ ta raise foals is more than a two pony job sometimes.” I nodded.

“Oh, you don’t have to tell me that. I know all about it. Dawn was my job for the first three years. I uh… I suppose I could help you out for a little while if you do move down there over the summer. It would give me a chance to see Palomino, and I really don’t have much going on as it is.”

Applejack shook her head.

“Y’all got yer own life ta tend ta, don’t go jumpin’ inta mine.” I shook my head.

“No, I mean it. You’re my friend, and I want to help you out. It would be good for me. Hell, we could make it a family trip and just bring everypony for at least a week. That farmhouse has the space doesn’t it?”

Applejack scratched at her cheek.

“Twi, ya don’t have ta-” I stood up.

“You know what? I do. You always do this to yourself. You always try to pick up the slack anywhere you can, and it’s always you who suffers for it. I’m going to help, and you’re going to like it.” She raised her hooves.

“Alright Twi, goddess. Do whatever ya want.” She shook her head and smiled. “Fuckin’ nosey is what ya are.”

Fluttershy quickly clamped down on Ox’s ears and scowled at the orange mare.

“Applejack, please! We’ve talked about this! You were doing so well too…” Applejack threw her head back in exasperation.

“Son of a bitch. This is Pa’s fault. Mouth of a damn sailor and he sure did pass that on.”

Shy gave her another death stare and then she backed off.

“Alright, alright, Ah’m done, promise.” Shy finally removed her hooves from the colt’s ears.

“Now Oxford, remember not to repeat anything your Auntie Applejack says, okay?” he nodded.

“Okay. Twilight, are we goin’ back ta yer house soon? Dusk said he found a new game, and Ah really wanted ta play it.”

Are we? What time is it?

I took out my phone to check, but as I did, I got a call from Mom.

“Talk about timing.” I answered and put the speaker up to my ear. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Oh, just wondering where you were. You do realize it’s almost seven, don’t you? Your little sister is so looking forward to seeing you, after all.” I think I felt my eye twitch.

“I see how it is, I know your game. I’m over at Applejack’s. We’ll be there in a bit.” She wasn’t in the same room, but I could just feel her sneering at me through the line.

“Do you now? My dearest Twilight, I don’t think you know any of my games. Though, a request to get some cookies out of Mrs. Belle, if you would.” I glared at the non-existent image of my mother.

“Oh, you bet I will. I’ll see you there.”

“Mmkay, bye♥”

“Bye Mom.” I ended the call and put the phone away to find five pairs of eyes on me.

“Is… is that normal?” Applejack asked. I sighed.

“Yes, unfortunately. This happens often.”

Ox wanted to ride the bike, so I ended up taking him with me while everypony else piled in Fluttershy’s sedan… that Mac drives, apparently. By the time we arrived, it looked like everypony else was already here, what with all the cars lined up in the driveway and along the roadside.

I dismounted and then set Ox on the ground, and he immediately ran for the door, no doubt excited to see his cousin.

To his surprise though, his mother answered the door, and his face lit up like a firework. He jumped on her, and she caught him and spun him around, showering his face with kisses all the while and tickling him.

I always feel a little sad, when I see them like this. Luna loves her boy to death, but just doesn’t have the time to raise him like she wants. She might’ve even loved his father, and that is the real shame. Oxford will be around forever, but Mac has already moved on. A shame, really. A damn shame.

She waved to the rest of us and then took him inside. We all piled in the house, and Pinkie was the first one to see me.

“Oh wow, you really did finally make it home.” I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Do you know anything yet?” She shook her head.

“No, I probably won’t get results for a few weeks. I felt better about it, but I don’t know. I’m just hoping I didn’t fuck up that stupid sheet this time.”

After I was given the offer to go to Canterlot U, I told my friends I would be taking it. Everypony was happy for me… save for my best friend. We’d initially planned on going to the state college together, but I still had things I wanted to do, and Canterlot has the best magic program in the country, on top of Luna throwing internships my way for some particularly high-profile spell craft firms. It was perfect for what I wanted to do, though I wasn’t that keen on leaving my friends behind. Of course, then Pinkie surprised everypony by saying she wanted to go to Canterlot U for law, to the pleasure of her mother and disbelief of everypony else.

In a single year, her GPA went from something like 2.75 to 3.5 after two semesters of straight A’s. It was unprecedented, and she almost made it into the dual credit advanced class. She was accepted into the program after making a middling score on the entrance exam for that, and she’s thrived in the environment… somehow. It’s tests and reading and debates and case studies and sitting in on judiciary hearings, and nothing I ever thought her capable of, but here she is. Were it not for her awful test taking skills, she might even be at the top of her class. I gave her a pat on the back.

“You better make it this time. I gave up a month for you. That’s my time you wasted.” She smiled and rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, sure, your time you were going to use to get back into Iron Hoof. If anypony knows you at this point, it’s me.” I waved her away.

“Bah, whatever. Now then… where is…”

“Twilight!”

Before I even had the chance to look for her, I was dive bombed from the second floor by my little sister. The audio cue gave me a chance to prepare myself for impact, but it seems she’d learned a little bit in the two months I’ve been away, and swooped before she slammed into my face. I snatched the little pegasus out of the air and hugged her tight.

“Hello Dawn♥”

On October 1st, 2014, my cousin Oxford was born. Three days later, Dusk was born on October 4th. Almost a year on the day later, Dawn was born on August 30th, 2015. Mother swears we all have the same father, and based on the way they look, I wouldn’t be able to disagree with that. I’ve always had my suspicions about that moment when they shifted places back on the day of the comet, and the ‘jars’ comment bounced around in my head for years until I was told a little about the colonies that were publicly unveiled in 2018.

Fluids have to be conserved up there, and water is the most valuable resource. There are just closets of jars upon jars of water kept in cold storage in the event of a system failure. As cold and calculating as mom can be, she could’ve taken advantage of that and kept some ‘fluids’ of her own for later use. It’s the only way that makes sense anyways, but she’d never admit to anything that went on that day.

There was a very small chance she could’ve come out as an earth pony, a very high chance she could’ve come out as a unicorn, but our little Dawn entered the world with wings.

Like her father, Dawn has a smoky dark gray coat, and a wavy mane that was dark blue like mine, but the colors change toward the ends of it. It goes from that blue to violet, red, orange and ends in yellow at the tips. Mom liked to keep it in braids as it’s very long and she is short for her age. It has some strange property to it too, as every time we cut it, the colors shift like she must always have a gradient in her mane. The tips of her wings also have a similar gradient, but that transitions from her shoulders to the outer primaries, not too dissimilar to her mother’s wings. She has her mother’s eyes, but a more lean and stocky body like her father, unlike the rest of us.

I’ve also come to believe that she’s the reason that Mom has yet to have another. Provided she still has some ‘fluids’ hidden somewhere, anyways. Dawn is a lot like her mother. As a matter of fact, we’ve come to the conclusion that she has her mother’s personality.

She’s a wild child, a firebrand, ready to go and do anything at a moment’s notice, and always wanting to be out in the sun playing. She’s played every sport, she’s always the first to talk to somepony, and she is a hard extrovert. It tires mom out, so more often than not, she is put in my care, because the only pony Mom can’t deal with is herself.

That isn’t to say she doesn’t love her or play with her herself, but the old mare just finds it difficult to keep up with the perpetual energy this filly has. I remember one day before she’d learned to fly, Mom had the idea of playing catch with Dawn so she got used to being in the air. We still do it sometimes, and as she’s gotten older, mother has put more and more power into her throws.

Needless to say, Dawn was flying at an early age, and she shows a lot of promise in that area. Luna even says she remembered a time when she saw pictures of Celestia as a filly back on their home world, and she’d come out as a pegasus back then too. I’m a little afraid of ending up like mom, but Dawn is already there, and nopony was ready for that.

I played with her for a while as everypony got settled in, and then she saw that her brother and cousin were playing a game and demanded a turn. With her out of my mane (literally), I went around and talked to everypony. Rainbow and her Dad were battling it out with Mom acting as referee, Luna was talking with Mac, Shy, and Jack about their plans for the orchard, Rarity and Pinkie were talking about the shops around Canterlot and our arts programs, so I found myself with Dad off in the corner with the drinks. The house was full and lively, and it was nice just to observe.

“Well, is this what you wanted?” I asked him. He took a sip of whatever was in his plastic red cup and shrugged.

“I suppose. I would’ve liked it if Dusk and Dawn were mine by blood, but as we learned, that’s just not possible. Still, a full house, some lovely kids, a beautiful loving wife, and a daughter with ‘saved the world’ as one of her accomplishments though? I think that’s more than enough for somepony like me. What about you? Are you happy with this life so far?” I leaned back and thought about that.

I grew up for the most part without a mother. Everything I knew was taught to me by this stallion and his son. Until she showed up, I had no idea what I wanted out of life, or even what life was supposed to be like. I was passive and willing to accept everything as it was and move on expecting nothing to change. And then she showed up. Everything changed for me in a drastic and explosive way. Life was hectic and chaotic, and dare I say it, fun. I don’t think I even realized how I felt or that anything was wrong, that was just the way everything was. It’d always been this way, so why should anything change?

“I guess I am. I’d never thought about it much, but I’m not sure what I would’ve done if Celestia never showed up. Of course, that’s not to say I wouldn’t have rather had my mother the whole time, and I’m sure I would’ve liked to have my real father, but I think you were a pretty good dad. If anything, I think I just wish things hadn’t gone so bad with Shining while he was still here.

Even after all these years I still look back at all the things we did together and remember how much fun we had. I haven’t seen him in eight years, so I worry that I’ll forget him completely one day. You know how Mom gets when she talks about ponies she’s met, I just don’t want that to be me with him just yet.”

Dad swirled around whatever was in his cup and took another sip.

“Well, I was going to keep this a surprise, but I suppose you should know before hoof. I know how you are about surprises, so… he should be here sometime soon.” I blinked.

“Shining?” Dad nodded.

“Yes.” I blinked again.

“Really? Why?” Dad nodded and took a deeper swig.

“So, you haven’t been around much in the last few years, but I was called a while back. He was getting married and he wanted me to be there. Of course, I was skeptical because there were a number of things I was concerned about, the chief among those his mother, but… he’s grown up. He’s not the bad boy he was before, they really whipped him into shape in the military. He’s toured a few places, has a couple achievements under his belt, and he met a mare up north and they have a daughter now.

She’s a real sweetheart, but he’s… clearly on a leash in that relationship. A little advice for your future, if you meet somepony, don’t try to control or change them. That’s just not a thing. Whoever you come to love is going to be the exact same person in 20 years that they are in the moment.

To that end, I even managed to play nice with Velvet over that weekend. Things are still difficult there, and she’s since remarried to a stallion that I don’t particularly care for, so that only makes it harder, but I can be in the same room with her and not have an argument break into a fight.”

Huh. I sure did miss out on a lot at school. Though, I’m betting he didn’t tell me because he wasn’t sure he wanted to let Shining back in my life. Speaking of…

“Does Pinkie know?” He nodded.

“I told her before I planned this. It was his idea, actually. He said he wanted to try and make things right. A lot has changed of course, but like I said, he’s grown up a lot, and so have the both of you. I figured if anypony needed to be okay with this it would be her, and she said she was. I didn’t think you’d care either way, honestly.” I frowned.

Well, he’s not wrong. I’m not sure how I feel about this, but I don’t think I have any strong feelings at all. Maybe that’ll change once I see this mare he’s with. A daughter huh? I wonder how old she is? Though, that’s probably a question I should ask him directly.

“I guess… I’ll just have to make that determination on my own. Thanks for letting me know.” Dad nodded, and then was whisked away in gold magic.

“I need this, I’ll give it back in a bit,” Mom said. She took Dad and the rainbow maned pegasai upstairs, mostly against their wills as far as I could tell.

For the next half hour or so, I wandered around the house and checked in with everypony. Luna had joined the kids to play a few rounds with her son, though she seemed less… familiar with the game than Mom ever did, so they were evenly matched. Everypony else had traded conversation partners, and it looked like they were all having a good time. When Mom and the rainbow manes came back, they were finally ready to be social, and it looked like some kind of accord had been struck. Then, the doorbell rang.

“I’ll be there in a minute!” Dad called from upstairs. I noticed Pinkie had drifted by me and I could already tell she was nervous about this.

“Are you gonna be alright?” I asked. She nodded and gave me a quiet,

“Mmhmm,” then moved a little closer.

Geez, are you your sister?

Dad opened up the door, and in walked Shining, his wife, and quite possibly one of the cutest foals I’ve ever seen.

The, I suppose stallion now, had grown a big bushy beard that was trimmed almost to a flat surface under his chin and he had a few scars on his face now. It was clear that he’d become a stallion over time because something about him looked… more mature. It might’ve been the beard, but he was working on that back when I knew him. This was something else. The white coat I remember was a little duller these days, his two-tone dark and light blue mane and tail was cut relatively short and was neatly combed and slicked back, and he’d come dressed in military civilian wear.

His wife was… almost strange to see. It was like if you took Pinkie, gave her wings, and made her go on a diet. Pinkie isn’t really ‘overweight’ per say, but she doesn’t work out either. This mare was toned and fit, easily a gym subscriber.

She was a little taller too, but the body shape was very similar, if with slightly more gratuitous hips. She had a pink coat that matched Pinkie’s, a tricolor mane in distinct yellow, magenta and violet that curled at the ends, and her wings had a slight violet gradient to them. She was wearing blue shorts and a white T-shirt with his cutiemark on it, and a wedding pendant that went well with her red-violet eyes. The other mark on it was a sort of diamond heart or something like that, though I’ve no idea what that might mean she does for a living.

More importantly than either of them was the adorable little pegasus she was carrying. Big blue eyes like her daddy, a very pale pink coat, not quite to Dusk and Mother’s degree, but something that suggested co-dominance for that gene, and a bushy, curly, little violet mane and tail with light blue streaks in it. I had to contain myself from just running to play with the foal, and I wasn’t quite sure I liked the implications of that.

Do I want foals?

“Shining, Cadance, welcome! How was your trip?” Dad asked. The mare answered.

“Oh, it wasn’t that bad. I haven’t been outside of Canterlot much since the move, so it was interesting to see the countryside on the way here. I never realized how many wildflowers grew along the roadsides, it was much more colorful this way than I expected. Very pretty.” Shining nodded.

“It was a little difficult to find our way here though. I lost my GPS signal no less than three times just trying to figure out where my next turn was. Believe it or not, I actually drove a lot of the way by memory. I knew I-90 was what I was looking for, so as soon as we got on that, I just drove until I saw the fog.” Dad scratched at his head.

“There’s really only one cellular service that likes South Dartmoor, all the others have pretty spotty coverage around here. Here, let me introduce you to everypony.”

Dad went around and had everypony meet his son while he showed off his granddaughter, but we however remained sort of in the corner and watched. I caught a few glances from him, and I still wasn’t sure what to make of him just yet. With Pinkie acting the way she was, it must’ve turned on a sort of protective instinct, so I was being wary. Of course, that all melted away when I got to hold the baby.

Good goddess, this one is just too cute♥

I had a sudden realization that my Mother’s words came out of my mouth and nearly had to sit down right then and there.

They said their hellos and explained how they met and got hitched. We learned that she’s a jeweler initially from Crystal City way up north that moved to Canterlot when she was young. She’s an only child in a family of two working parents, so she spent a lot of her time in high school going out and partying. She and Shining met one day on a blind date that one of her friends set up. He’d just returned from overseas after a particularly trying job and needed some other ponies in his life, so his friend set him up too.

The irony of it all is that neither of them were really looking for anypony to settle down with and then ended up married the next year, with a foal the year after that, yet neither of their friends are with anypony, and they were both looking.

They seem to get along well, and there was a dark sense in me that said Shining enjoyed having a more dominant personality around him, as one could easily tell who was wearing the pants in this relationship. He was actually the one wearing pants right now, but that’s just semantics.

They went on a little while longer, but after a while, Shining approached the two of us and asked if he could talk to us alone. Dad must know me pretty well, because in the end, I really don’t think I did care either way. If I get to play with Flurry, then I think I’d enjoy seeing him more, and if not, I still have Dawn for a little while before she hits that preteen phase. More than anything else, I think I was just glad to know he was still around and in a better place. I still consider him my big brother, after all.

Pinkie

Nothing. No emotion at all. So many memories, so many of them twisted and spiraling out of control, yet here I am, here he is, and I feel… nothing. It’s like I’m looking at a stranger. Some bearded stallion that I should know, but don’t. This is that mare’s whipping boy, and he is one hundred percent down to be that for her. I knew verbal abuse was a thing in Twilight’s family, but this is some level of masochism that I’ve only seen in anime with Fluttershy.

They’re gonna fuck when they get back to their hotel, and if that kid has a sibling in a year, it wouldn’t surprise me. It’s a sort of strange relationship, but they seem to like each other, so good for him I guess.

He pulled us aside after his wife fell into a conversation with Rarity, Celestia and Luna, and his dad had taken the baby.

“Hey, can I… talk to you guys?” he asked.

Oh boy. Here it comes.

“Sure. Why don’t we go outside? It’s a little loud in here,” Twilight said. She doesn’t seem to feel weird about all this either, but I expected that from her. That’s just how she is. She either gets super involved and is immediately concerned about every little detail, or she just doesn’t care.

We moved to the driveway and gathered around Twilight’s bike. He leaned up against one of the cars, and we took a seat. He stared up at the sky and said,

“So, it’s been a while, huh Sis?” Twilight nodded.

“You’re telling me. You’re like a different pony now. I barely recognize you. Married and a kid without even letting me know. How old is she?”

Again, she’s more concerned about the foals. She loves Dawn and Dusk to death, especially Dawn, and the moment she sees another little foal, she goes all goo-goo eyed over it. This mare has baby fever and I doubt she even realizes it. Sigh.

“Oh, Flurry is six months old. She was born in the middle of a snowstorm in December, which is where the name comes from.”

“Ah, I was wondering about that. I was a little concerned she was named after a frappé or something. Cadance has that um… ‘upper-class mare’ attitude about her as far as I’ve seen.”

Oh no, she easily grew up as a lonely rich girl, but never got the reconciliation that Rarity did when her parents got back together. She’s not too bad, but she’s definitely got a spoiled streak, and maybe a little of ‘it’s my way or the highway’ mixed in there. He likes that though. I bet she steps on him. He nodded.

“Well, you’ve got me there. She’s from my mom’s kind of crowd. Believe it or not, she really toned that down after Flurry was born, but it used to be worse. I love her though, so I put up with it. How are you guys? I see… plenty has changed for you.” He motioned to Twilight’s wings.

For a minute there, she didn’t even register what he was talking about until I poked at her feathers.

“Oh! Right, yeah. No, definitely. Mom showed up out of the blue one day, these happened when I got my cutiemark seven years ago, and I have two siblings from the same parents. Plenty has happened. It’s one hell of a story, but it’s a long one.” Shining stroked his beard.

“Yeah. Cadance has Flurry on a pretty tight schedule, so maybe another time.” He scratched at his mane and then finally looked at me. “So… because so much has changed and the three of us are all different ponies now…”

No, no, I can assure you, I’m… not as different as I wish.

“I… wanted to… clear the air, I guess. I have a daughter now, I’m on track for an upper-level royal guard position, and my life is pretty stable. But, the things I did… to both of you, really, still haunt me. I came back to see Dad and give him some time with Flurry of course, but… I want to apologize. To you, more than anypony else.”

Aww. He really feels bad about it. He’s grown up so much. Too bad I can’t say the same…

“I was not a good kid. My mother was abusive, my father never set any rules, and I hated my parents. You… weren’t the only one in this town I took advantage of, and because I was just… a spoiled brat really, and I never got caught. It was a real wakeup call for me when Dad uh… well, when he finally snapped. I made a decision to be somepony else right after that, but it still bothers me that I never got the chance to say anything. I would’ve come back to do this years ago, but uh… Mom, ya know?”

I nodded, though I really had no idea. If anything, I’ve just realized that I was acting like a spoiled piece of shit over the years. My parents are great, and save for the occasional fight I got in with Limestone, my family all loves me. I was never neglected, I was never mistreated by them, I just thought that was the case. This guy was the source of most of my underlying issues, even if early on Limestone and I were… not friends. But again, I still feel nothing. I don’t quite understand the numbness.

“Anyways, I’m sorry. For… all the things I did to you both. I don’t expect forgiveness, but either way, I’m glad I got the chance to say my piece.”

But really, was it all him? We didn’t have a sexual relationship until the end. He was more like a big brother to me for most of those years. Maybe he wasn’t the source of most things, and that was just a singular thing in the host of mental issues I have. I’m just broken, just like everypony else. Really, we’re more similar than anything else. He just has a better excuse for being a piece of shit than I do. Ha!

I couldn’t contain it for very long and started giggling to myself.

Aren’t we all just confused pieces of shit trying to coexist in a world that would kill us without hesitation?

“Was… was that funny?” he asked. Twilight shrugged and I shook my head.

“No, no, I get it. I get it exactly. You were a piece of shit, but… so was I. We did something bad together, and it took a lot for me to change too. I wasn’t sure how this was going to go when I was asked about it a few weeks ago, but now that we’re all here and everything’s in the air… I kinda feels like old times, doesn’t it?”

The white stallion leaned back on the car and found the sky again.

“Yeah, I… suppose it does,” he said. Twilight leaned back and looked at them herself.

“Well, you guys were shitty ponies. I was a good little filly.” I raised a brow at her.

“Really? Because I remember a certain somepony had it rough in her teens. Not to mention that she was anti-social and mean and rude. To be honest though, she still kinda is.” Shining nodded.

“I’ll never forget the way you used to bully Pinkie, good goddess. You had a large vocabulary at that age, you knew all kinds of words to throw at ponies.” Twilight was taken aback.

“Ah! How dare you side with her! Talking to me like that. My aunt is your boss ya know.” He blinked.

“That’s… not really her in there is it? Like, Queen Luna?” She frowned.

“What other massive black alicorn do you know of? If you think that’s a shock, then you should know who my mother is. The white one, Celestia, is the Sun Queen.” He blinked again, then went back to staring into space.

“Huh. That’s so crazy. Who could’ve thought?” I shrugged.

“You’re telling me. I was present for all the crazy shit from start to finish. I watched Twilight smash a meteor from space. I took a picture, and I still don’t believe it happened. 2013 was one hell of a year.” He narrowed his eyes at her.

“That was you?” She nodded and smiled.

“Yeah, that was me. Hey, watch this.”

Twilight raised a hoof in the air, and no doubt was about to do her ‘party trick,’ as she calls it. Her mother makes sure she’s always in practice and that anypony who held on to their elements plays for her at least once a month. I tried to learn a while back, but I can’t even get my combos right in fighting games all the time, the guitar is like a bigger, more complex controller. I always get bogged down by the motions, so I never kept up with it. She and Applejack however, did. She flicked her wrist, and in a soft flash of light, that black Axe guitar covered in her cutiemark appeared.

“Wow. Look at you. I’m not sure I even know what kind of spell that was, and that’s what I do for a living.”

Twilight brought the guitar to her and raised her brows.

“Oh, so you’re a Spell Analyst now? I always thought you’d end up in the field as a caster.” He nodded.

“I was good for this town’s standards, but there are ponies in this world that are way more talented than I am. I’ve always been better at defense anyways. My job usually has me on duty detecting spells in the air to make sure nothing unexpected happens. I’m on the sentinel team for the Air Force right now, but I’ll be moving to the Royal guard starting in the fall.” I let out a short chuckle.

“Sounds kinda boring.” He shrugged.

“It is, but it’s also really important. The whole comet thing changed how far out in the atmosphere we look for energy signatures, and these days, we bounce signals and information between the colony bases too. I’ve seen some stuff, and I’ve only been in this position for a few years. Being on tour is scary, but the information attacks are something you only read about in conspiracies. When something does happen, it pays for us to be waiting for it.” Twilight put a hoof under her chin.

“Hmm… That’s a class of magic I wasn’t aware of. I’ll have to look into that when we get back to Canterlot in the fall.” His ears perked up.

“Canterlot?” She nodded.

“We go to Canterlot U. I’m in the spellcraft department, and she’s there for law. She took the BAR last Thursday, and I’m really hoping she passed this time.” I rolled my eyes.

“I’m sure I did. You were on my ass 24/7 for two weeks, I’m pretty sure I got most everything right. My only worry is that stupid fucking sheet. I’m an awful test taker, but I do really well on written portions.” Shining nodded.

“Oh, I feel ya there. Standardized testing sucks, but it’s the best measuring stick we’ve got. I’ll have to have you guys over sometime though, we live in Canterlot and I work at the mountain base on the north side.” Twilight shrugged.

“Sure, I guess I wouldn’t mind. Provided… I get to play with Flurry. That’s my one condition.” He chuckled.

“Don’t you worry, if I’m home, I get the baby, fact. Cadance has Flurry ninety percent of the time, so she needs a break whenever I can give it to her. Her parents aren’t really ‘involved’ with us, and Mom is… well, Mom, so I just take Flurry around sometimes when Cadance can’t. I’m sure she’d be thrilled to have you take care of her if you wanted.”

Twilight lit up and I had to laugh.

“Goddess, you are just like your mother.” She scowled at me.

“Don’t say things like that! I know, I know. It’s the worst.”

She shook her head, and then Shining reached into his pocket to pull out his phone.

“Looks like the wife needs me, so I’m gonna head back inside. I’m glad we got to talk. It really means a lot to me.” We waved.

“Yeah, it’s alright. It was… probably good for us too,” I said.

And then there were two…

“So? What’d you think? Still nervous?” she asked. I shrugged.

“I guess not. He reminds me a lot of your dad now. Not the same pony for sure. Almost like he grew up into a normal dude, despite being such a fucked up teen.” She nodded.

“Oh, absolutely. It’s nice to know he’s doing so well though. I never really hated him, but I couldn’t forgive what he did to you either. Not exactly cold, but not exactly warm feelings, ya know?”

I sighed and leaned back on the bike.

“Yeah. I’ve got kinda mixed feelings, but… I guess it doesn’t matter now. He’s moved on, and so have I. Either that, or I have a serious case of Stockholm’s and I can’t blame him for anything.” Twilight giggled and shook her head.

“No, no, I think… you’ve just grown up a little, is all. That’s behind us, and the future… looks pretty bright, I think.”

We sat there like that for a while, until I noticed something shiny falling in the sky.

“Hey look, a shooting star! Make a wish!”

I know exactly what I want… maybe… but… I know I can’t have it either.

Twilight huffed and got off the bike.

“Oh hell no! Last time I did that, I got way more than I bargained for.” She gestured at her wings and I rolled my eyes.

“Oh, come on, was it really all that bad?”

“I got hit in the head, a houseguest that turned my life upside down, a mother, a brother and a sister, and I had to help raise children! I was the one who took care of that little filly for the first three years of her life, don’t you believe a damn word that fat ass says! All I wanted was to meet my mom, I didn’t ask for a whole family! Never again.” I waved her away.

“Oh, whatever, you love those kids to death, and I know you love your mommy♥” She scowled at me and shook her head.

“Whatever. Have fun wishing on your burning rock. I’m going back inside.” She turned her tail and started walking away.

“Seven years, and you’re still just a spoilsport!” She turned her snout up and huffed at me.

“I am. It is my title and ponies all across the land shall know it, and they shall bow before their princess. The Princess of Spoiling Sport.”

I laughed, she laughed, and after a wave, she closed the door behind her. I made myself more comfortable on the bike and continued to watch the stars. It was relatively clear tonight, nice and warm, but not too hot, and a little humid. I saw the star again and sighed.

“I wish…”

???

The snake-like creature, a mishmash of parts that didn’t belong, slithered through the night sky, looking down below for the destruction he’d planned. To his surprise though, there was none to be found. What was even more surprising, is that there was a new signature not unlike the one that’d burned him all those centuries ago. He noticed a pair of eyes on him, and the more he focused, he heard a voice.

“I wish… I could find somepony like her.”

In the moment, he remembered an old rule that he was cursed with, and this was an opportunity. He smiled his snaggle-toothed smile and began to consider what to do next. A dark sense of joy and the sweet taste of future revenge danced on his tongue, and now, he had an idea.

“Oh dear me. My, my, my, these ponies never learn, do they? The saying goes, ‘wish upon a star,’ but does anypony ever question why the saying exists in the first place? Somepony is always listening. And better yet, sometimes those wishes are granted. One must always be careful… when wishing upon a star…”

Ride on, Shooting Star

Author's Note

Ride on, Shooting Star

Twilight

The blue skies in Underhoof are always the same. So underdeveloped and out of the way from the rest of Equestria, this town might even have a thousand ponies in it on a good day. Farmland as far as the eye can see, a lazy river that meanders wherever it feels like. A quiet place where nothing ever happens and nopony ever comes to visit. Because the river surrounds town, it’s almost like the bridges out are the only indication that there’s a world beyond this place. Trapped in a ring of fog that rises from the river every morning, it’s like a haze that says the sky is all that’s above us, the never changing, ever blue, cloudless sky. When I reach my hoof out and hope to take hold of something more, I always find myself staring at the sun.

The blue skies in Underhoof, are always the same.

The sun is shining. Everywhere around me I see stars and blackness, the reds and blues of gases in space, the constellations lined together in glowing streaks. Cygnus, Pegasus, Draco, Andromeda, they all dance around me as I spin. I keep trying to correct my position, I have to catch the sun because the darkness is after me. I can feel it creeping closer, the constellations are being swallowed one by one. The shadow is looking at me, hungrily and ready to eat.

The sun will save me if I can just reach it. The sun will save me if it will just reach out for me. The warmth that fights the cold, the light that fights the darkness. Blood starts raining from behind me. The darkness has bitten one of Pegasus’ legs. The teeth climb up in gaseous form, like an all-consuming fog. Pegasus fades and bleeds, trying to reach out to me, but I can’t turn back. I have to get to the sun because I know the sun can save me. Pegasus starts screeching, the blood is falling faster. The darkness has taken Cygnus. The sun is still too far away. The darkness has taken Draco. The sun is still too far away. The darkness has taken Andromeda. The sun is even further away. The darkness is about to reach my leg.

“No, no, NO!”

When I opened my eyes, I found myself in my room, reaching my hoof out for something and nothing for it to catch. My alarm was screeching its ear shattering chirp and I wanted nothing more than to smash it in my hooves. I felt awful… and when I noticed my bloody sheets, I knew why.

“Don’t worry honey, this happens to all little fillies sooner or later, you just had it a little later than sooner, yeah?”

Finally out of the shower and dressed for school, Dad caught me before I could escape. He put my sheets in the laundry and felt the need to talk to me about my ‘special gift’ that I’ll be getting every month from now on. I don’t even have my cutiemark yet, why is this happening to me?

“I know, Dad, do we really have to keep talking about this? I’m going to be late.” The blue stallion was somewhere in his late thirties and in desperate need of a shave. His dark blue beard had grown half down his neck. It was thin, patchy, and just looked awful.

“Well, I talked to your brother about something similar when he was your age, I figured that it was only right that I try to talk to you.” He put his hoof on my shoulder and looked down at me with those tired gold eyes of his.

I pushed his hoof away and stepped back. “Well maybe he should come back and talk to me too, since neither of you even know what I’m going through! I’ll be home later.” With that, I stormed off, hoping that this would all just go away. The pain in my abdomen told me that wasn’t going to happen any time soon, though.

“Do you always go fishing this early in the morning, or is today a special case?”

The pink filly noticed me from under the bridge in the river, doing something and getting the socks and sleeves of her school uniform wet. “It’s better than going to school every morning, don’tcha think?” The fog was thinner than usual today, and the pink skies of the sunrise made it look strange down by the river.

In the pink-orange haze, I followed the sidewalk steps to the river bed and met Pinkie in her half-soaked uniform. “Probably. If you want to spend the rest of your life here, anyways. I’m going to get out of this awful place and go somewhere like Canterlot. Maybe I can meet the Queen and get a cushy government job.”

“Oh, there it is!” Pinkie went back into the little shallow river and fished up a pink pencil case covered in balloons and rainbows. She tossed it in her bag and threw the damp satchel over her head.

“Special day?” I asked.

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “No, just your usual one. I figured you would’ve passed me sooner. How about you?”

I looked away from her in disgust. I didn’t want to think about it. “Let’s just go. I don’t want to be late just because you don’t want to be there.”

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Sounds like a special day. Ooh! It didn’t finally happen did it?” Before I could react, she ran behind me and flipped up my skirt.

I kicked her in the face and had the biggest temptation to shoot a beam at her, if I could manage it. I wasn’t the best at attack magic, but I could still do it… probably. “Pinkie, what the hell!?”

She rubbed the blood from her snout and got a big smile on her face. “Oh, somepony is having a special day, isn’t she? It’s not as good as a cutiemark, but hey, at least you get to share in my suffering now.” She got back up and threw a foreleg around my neck with a big dumb smile on her face.

I sighed and pushed her off. “You’re still wet. Don’t touch me.” I started for the stairway back to the sidewalk by the road as Pinkie followed quickly behind.

“I mean, you’re wet too, just not in any of the fun ways.”

I scowled at her. “What does that even mean?” This crazy filly, going off about whatever she feels like. I don’t even know why I bother with her some days.

“Oh, you’ll understand when you’re older. Shiny knows what’s up.”

I furrowed my brows. “What does my brother have to do with anything? You’re thirteen! You don’t know anything.” Those crystal blue eyes looked like they were laughing at me.

The pink pony lowered herself, then she pounced me to the ground. We rolled on the soft grass until she was sitting on top of me. “I know all kinds of things, Twily. I could teach you…”

I feel so tired. Every day is the same. Get up, get ready for school, get annoyed at Dad, leave home angry, meet Pinkie by the river, and then she does this. She always does this.

“Your mane smells really good today. Did you get a new shampoo?” She bit my ear softly. I could feel her breath on my skin as her hooves traveled inside my uniform.

“No, it’s the same as always. Pinkie, we’re going to be late! You’re too young to be doing this. I’m too young to be doing this.”

Her lips made their way down to my neck. “We’re the same age, what does it matter?”

I pushed her off and made her look at me. “Pinkie, please.”

She frowned, but eventually sighed and buttoned my blazer back up. “Spoilsport.”

“In other news, today Queen Luna is announcing a plan for space exploration. A new branch of the Equestrian Aeronautics and Space Administration government office will be formed called the Equestrian Space Colonization Agency, or ESCA for short. She believes that the future of ponykind lies among the stars, and the next generation will be the first to visit worlds beyond our own.”

Pinkie folded her ears back and groaned at the store across the street. “Geez, does anypony ever just go in that electronics store and complain about the noise? It’s like they want to blow out the speakers on that thing before they even get a chance to sell it!”

I didn’t really think it was all that loud, but she’s always like this with noise. She’s usually got headphones on her somewhere to block everything out, but she takes them off around me.

“Eh, let them do what they want. Who cares? It’s not like there are enough ponies in this town to even come out this way. I mean, maybe Trixie’s dad or Rarity’s mom would buy it if they really wanted to, but those ponies have real money and can buy better stuff than what that crappy local shop has.”

This part of Underhoof was closer to downtown, but because of how small our town is to begin with, nopony ever really comes back this way. It’s empty so often that it’s still considered the ‘outskirts’ of town. The interstate road that runs through our little place is about the only reason Underhoof has to exist, since it makes it easy for our farmers to ship off their goods for the bigger towns to buy. Ponies come, ponies go, but nopony ever stays. Except Dad. Dad stays. Shining left, but I’m still here.

“Woah, do you see that!?”

Here she is complaining about the volume, then she yells in my ears. After trying to rip my sleeve off and jumping and pointing with her other hoof, I noticed a shooting star in the dawn blue sky. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one before.”

Pinkie gasped and grabbed my face. “You haven’t!? Oh my goddess, oh my goddess! Twily, when you see a shooting star, you have to make a wish! Okay, okay, I wish… that all the bad ponies would just go away! Okay, now you!”

I looked back up at the star as it shot through the sky and thought. A wish? What would I wish for? I stopped believing in Santa Hooves a few years ago when Shining told me he wasn’t real. Why would I make a wish now? Shooting stars are just rocks hurtling through space. They aren’t magic by nature, nothing in space is magical, only earth has stuff like that. But… what if she’s right and it really will come true? I mean… a wish is harmless right? If there’s nothing to it and words are just wind, then…

“I wish… I could meet her.” I made sure to whisper it as quietly as I could. It shouldn’t matter, but I don’t need anypony to hear that.

“Hey! I shared my wish, so share! What’d you wish for?” She grabbed me and shook me. Thankfully, even though she’s an earth pony, Pinkie has never been as strong as her sisters. I quickly pushed her off and rolled my eyes.

“Wishes are dumb. They’re just words. There’s no magic in a rock burning up in the atmosphere, and there’s no magic in just hoping for something. It doesn’t matter what I wished for because it will never happen.”

Pinkie pouted and sat and crossed her hooves. “Man, you are a spoilsport today.” She looked back up at the shooting star, but then tilted her head.

Pinkie being confused about something is normal, but why…?

“Hey uh… does that… look like it’s getting closer?”

I stared at the white star myself and, honestly? It did look like it was getting closer. And fast. Really fast. “We should probably run.”

Pinkie frowned. “I mean, don’t we die if it hits anyways?”

I nodded. “Probably.”

As quickly as possible, we bolted from our spots and ran the opposite direction from where the star was heading down the sidewalk. It was still getting bigger. We could see the fire breaking through what little cloud cover Underhoof had today. The trail was getting larger and I started to hear it.

Zooming through the wind, Pinkie and I were running as fast as our legs would carry us, but the sound only kept getting closer. And… weirder? The closer it got, the more I thought it sounded like an engine. Then it did sound like an engine. We passed the point where the star was visible, but the white cone around it was only just above town now.

A big shockwave ran through us and a few nearby windows shattered around us. Stunned and at a loss for hearing, I stopped and turned to look. The star was behind us! No, wait, that’s… a pony. On a motorcycle. A flying motorcycle. Carrying a green guitar of some kind off to her side, like it was a sword or something. The ringing in my ears started to subside, and then I processed the music. She was blaring some song and… staring directly at me?

“Oooooooh, Starlight darling! Mommy’s home!”

The last thing I saw was a big white unicorn mare on a flying motorcycle. None of this made sense. Not her for being as big as she was, not the name she called me by, not the flying motorcycle that looked like it was made twenty years ago, and definitely not the pastel green electric bass she swung at my face.

TWANG!

“Aaaah! What did you do to Twilight!?”

What? Who did what to me? Oh goddess, my head hurts… I feel like my horn was just pushed into my skull.

“I hit her with my bass, what does it look like? Geez, are all children this stupid nowadays?”

Who is that? She sounds so familiar, but… do I know that voice?

“Hmm. Nothing is happening. Well, maybe she needs more encouragement! Come’ere, Starlight!”

What is that sound? It’s like somepony is striking chords indiscriminately on a guitar and revving an engine somewhere far away… Oh goddess, everything is so blurry. I can’t see. My head hurts. My stomach hurts. Everything hurts.

“Stop it! Why would you hit Twilight!? She didn’t do anything wrong!”

Is that really Pinkie?

“Wait. This is totally Starlight. I could swear her name was Starlight.”

“No! This is Twilight! Twilight Sparkle!”

“Oh shit… Damn it, did I hit the wrong kid again? Well. Crap. I can still fix this! She needs CPR!”

Somepony was shoved out of the way and heavy hooves clocked closer. CPR? Doesn’t that mean…

“But… she’s still breathing?”

Goddess, I wish my vision would clear up. What in the world is going on?

“I’ll save you Starlight, darling!”

I managed to finally blink away the blurriness just in time to see that big white mare open my mouth and force air down my throat. She was so heavy and strong, I couldn’t even fight back, it was like she had me in a vice. My lungs were already full and it felt like they were going to pop, but she just, kept, blowing. I struggled as much as I could to push her off until, finally, she let go of me.

“Whew. I was worried I might’ve actually killed one this time. Well, not that worried, but whatever.”

All my senses back to normal, I sat up straight and tried to spit out the awful taste of somepony else’s mouth. Why did she do that!? I never stopped breathing! Why did she hit me!? How did she hit me? Nopony can make a bike that flies, much less one that looks older than I am!

“Gross! What is wrong with you!?”

I finally got a good look at this pony, and she was humongous. A white mare, probably double the size of Dad, and a unicorn by the looks of the gigantic, white spiral shooting out of her helmet. Her coat had a hint of pink in it, now that I studied her, and her eyes were some kind of purple. She was wearing a red leather jacket with black stripes on the sleeves and something written on the back that started with the word ‘top.’ She had a half helmet and goggles on, and a big yellow scarf around the base of her neck. Her mane was a long curly mess of pink, purple, blue, and green, and I could see a yellow shirt between her jacket and black leather pants.

Good goddess, did this mare jump out of the last two decades or something?

“Hmm… nah, this is definitely the right kid. She looks just like him. One good swing should do it this time. Now hold still, Starlight!” She reared back on her hind legs and raised her hooves up behind her shoulder like she was about to grab something. That green bass I saw earlier jumped from the ground to her hooves in gold magic, and suddenly I realized I was in danger.

This crazy old lady is going to kill me!

“Wait, sto-” Pinkie jumped in front of her, but rather than, I don’t know, not attacking her, she swung her guitar at Pinkie and hit her right in the temple.

TWANG!

Pinkie corkscrewed off into the grass by the sidewalk and the bass rang out a chord that sounded… really sweet, almost like the beginning of a lullaby. The old mare smiled wide and pumped one of her hooves.

“Hell yeah, that’s a homerun! Hey, she might just work, too. You heard that, it sounded great, didn’t it, Starlight?” Still grinning like a fiend, she fell back down and swung the bass around on her back. She was still looking at me, so I assume I’m Starlight, whoever that’s supposed to be.

“Um, my name is Twilight, and what the hell are you doing trying to hit us!? Are you out of your mind!?” The white mare sat and used her other forehoof to cradle her chin in a thoughtful pose. Oh, my goddess, she’s really considering it.

“Probably. Hey look, she’s back up! Here, these are for your little problem. Kay, bye~!”

The white mare threw some oval shaped packages at the ground and flashed in golden light from one spot to her bike, then the engine roared to life with a heavy kick to the starter. She pulled back the gas and pulled her goggles down while the front tire soared in the air. The bike lurched forward with incredible speed, blowing the packages away, along with my mane and my skirt.

I think I sat there like that for maybe ten minutes, trying to parse together what in the living hell just happened. When I didn’t find an answer, I fixed myself up, picked up the packages, threw them in my backpack, and then collected Pinkie.

“I knew we were going to be late.”

When I explained to Mrs. Rich why we were late to class, I told her that I’d just started my first cycle and needed to get some emergency utilities, and Pinkie was kind enough to help me. While it wasn’t the truth, it was far easier to believe.

There are three schools in Underhoof. One for grades K through 5th , and one for each gender from 6th to 12th. Because of our small population, there were no state funded ‘public’ schools here, making this place the easiest option. Of the 7th grade girl’s classes, we were separated based on scores from a test we took at the beginning of the year. Those with higher scores, like me, went to the advanced class, while the rest, like Pinkie, went to the regular class.

I only see her at lunch and after we’re let out for the day and we walk home together. She says she hates it and doesn’t want to be here anymore. Honestly, I don’t like it either, but I know it’s the only way out of this place, so I’ll suffer until I can escape.

In class, Rarity told me that ponies were talking about some crazy mare on a motorcycle who was as big as two stallions put together. They called her ‘the Motor Mare.’ Speeding around on her bike, doing double, even triple the speed limit in some places, like she doesn't care if she hit anypony and had no respect for the law. Our little two pony police force doesn’t stand a chance against her, especially against a bike that goes even faster than most of the cars in this place. Even if they did manage to catch her, she can teleport. I’d never seen a unicorn capable of that until today, and my brother was a prodigy.

Rarity also told me that she got hit in the face by this mare with some kind of guitar and blacked out. When she woke up, she was here and didn’t remember how she arrived. I told her she was crazy, but I knew better. Almost the same thing happened to me. Underhoof is supposed to be a boring place. Nothing ever happens here, nothing ever changes. The fog sits around the city like a wall that tells ponies that there’s nothing outside of here. This is all the world, and the world is tiny and secluded.

But today, all kinds of things have happened. The nightmare, Pinkie, the Motor Mare. What in the hell is going on? In the end, I never told Rarity about my own run-in with the crazy unicorn and pretended like nothing ever happened.

The blue skies in Underhoof are always the same.

When I finally went home, my head started hurting. After a painful experience in the bathroom, I decided that I was going to sleep until Dad made dinner. Everything hurt, and the worst of it all, I couldn’t get that chord out of my head. I don’t know enough about music to know what it was, but it was so pleasant. Like a song all on its own, a little piece of music that makes my heart ache for something more. She hit Pinkie, but Pinkie didn’t even black out like I did. She said it hardly hurt even though it sent her flying.

That sounded great, didn’t it Starlight?

She talked to me like she knew me. She kept calling me Starlight, but that’s not even my name. Who is that mare? Why did she attack us? Why did she give me tampons? No, wait, I know why she did that, but why did she help me after she attacked me? The questions kept coming, but I had no answers. Eventually, sleep took me and the white mare evaporated from my consciousness.

In my dreams, I was with my brother and his mom in Canterlot, a big city built around the base of a mountain with a large castle sitting high above a waterfall that pours out to either side. The grass was green, the trees were tall and sweet smelling, and everypony looked happy.

The royal guard was awarding Shining for another feat of insane magic he performed at the young age of eighteen. An energy beam that could break a shield barrier, teleporting across the city without exhaustion, a real stallion with the stamina and magical prowess to match his body. Muscular and strong, kind and gentle, the type of stallion anypony would want at their side. I only wish it could’ve been real.

I woke up drowsy and in a haze. My body still hurt, but at least the headache was mostly gone, and I didn’t feel as bad as I did on the way home.

“Twilight, dinner!”

I rose from our bunk bed at Dad’s call and put some pajamas on. Maybe eating something will wake me up.

Our house was a little two-story building way on the outskirts of the outskirts of Underhoof. The living room, kitchen, dining room, and toilet room were all on the bottom floor. Dad’s room, the room my brother and I shared, and the bathroom were all on the top floor.

I never asked why we lived in Underhoof, I’d always assumed that this is where Dad could afford to be. We never left and anything we did as a family was always somewhere around here. Things would never be the same again. When I turned the corner from the stairs and into the kitchen, I felt my eyes shoot open.

There she was. The huge white unicorn. She was sitting at the table, talking with Dad.

Why is she here? Why did he let her in? Does he know her? Does she know him? Who is she? What the hell!?

“Gah! It’s you! The Motor Mare!” I found myself pointing my hoof at her.

They’re eating noodles? Dad hates noodle bowls, why would he be eating noodles?

“Oh, hi, honey. I hired this live-in maid after she hit me with her motorcycle. Pretty cool, huh?” I couldn’t imagine how my face looked. There wasn’t one word for what I was feeling, and I was really bad at not showing my emotions when I got wound up like this. Anger, fear, confusion, shock.

“Pretty cool!? What the fuck is wrong with you!?” The white mare sucked up more noodles and then turned her eyes on me.

“Motorcycle, please. I ride only the best. That’s a custom 1981 Harley Davidson, thank you very much.” She pointed to the corner of the dining room, and I had to move closer to the table to see that she had actually brought her bike INSIDE THE HOUSE!

“How did you even get that in here!? Who cares what kind of bike it is, why are you in my house!? She hit you, didn’t she!? Why would you hire her!?”

Dad shrugged and the Motor Mare picked up some more noodles with chopsticks in her magic and fed them to Dad. He sucked them up greedily, but a green onion was stuck on his chin. The white mare eagerly leaned in and licked it off his face, going so far as to suck his lip into hers before she pulled away, leaving a trail of spit coming off of Dad. If it was possible, I think my jaw would’ve hit the floor.

“Oh Nightlight, dear, you are such a messy eater. I can’t trust you to keep clean, so maybe I’ll do it myself♥”

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

“Celestia, please, not in front of Twilight.” Dad said with a giggle in his voice.

“What the fuck.”

“Come now, Starlight, I made dinner for everypony! It’s your favorite, instant ramen.”

“My name is Twilight! T. W. I. L. I. G. H. T! How many ponies have to tell you that before you get it!?”

“Starlight, honey, don’t get upset with Celestia, she only wants to be friends with you.”

“Oh my goddess, Dad, what the hell.”

“Twilight, don’t rain on Nightlight’s parade. What’s a lonely, thirty-somethings stallion to do when a mare like me runs him over?”

“He-! You! Both of you!”

“Twilight, your dinner is going to get cold. Celestia went to such an effort to make it for you, you can’t turn down her hospitality like that.”

“This is our house! She hit me in the face with a bass!”

“You mean… this bass?” The Motor Mare popped a fish out of nothing in her golden magic. I slapped my hooves to my face. If only it was hard enough to break my skull, then this would all just end.

“Just because the word is spelled the same…”

“Wow, impressive as ever. Where’d you find that Celestia?”

“Oh, you know, I just pulled it out of the river on my way here. Can you believe the speed limits in this town? They want me to do less than sixty everywhere I go. That’s just ridiculous.”

“It’s a SAFETY concern, so ponies like you don’t run over other ponies!”

Celestia reared her head back and looked at me in disbelief. “What? How am I supposed to run ponies over if I’m not going fast enough?”

“Oh my goddess.”

“You keep saying that, honey. Maybe we should get you some extra materials so you can expand your vocabulary.”

“I have no words.”

“Speaking of my sister, how is the government these days?”

“Oh, you know, space this, space that. The Queen is so concerned about space that she seems to want to start moving ponies to other planets within the next few years or so. Don’t know how she’s going to do that, but you never know what Luna will do when she’s got her mind set on something.”

I had reached my limit and decided that it was best to just take the cup ramen and go back upstairs. Dad has no game and basically negative charm, so how he managed to get a hold of somepony as pretty and shapely as the Motor Mare even vaguely interested in him, I’ll never know. Why the Motor Mare was interested in Dad had me even more confused, but the way she… ugh, it just creeps me out. I don’t understand her. I don’t understand him. I don’t understand anything.

I finished the ramen, which wasn’t really all that great, but filling enough that I didn’t want to go back to sleep, even after I was so drained from just trying to process anything that happened today. Nothing made sense. How did she even get that bike in here? Did she go through the yard and bring it in through the sliding door? Even if she did that it shouldn’t have fit, those handlebars are crazy wide. The back tire on that thing is almost as big as I am, it just shouldn’t fit!

I couldn’t focus on my homework, and I couldn’t focus on my novel, so I decided to turn on the Ponystation and play a game. Before he left, Shining and I would always sit here and play together. He was always better than me at everything, but I never cared about that. I just wanted to spend time with him. He was everything to me. A knock at the door broke my concentration.

“It’s unlocked.”

“So... How’s the bruise?”

That’s not Dad’s voice. I paused and turned around to see that the white mare had taken up residence in my desk chair. She was barely wearing Dad’s black bathrobe and her gigantic mane was dripping and hardly contained by a full-sized towel. My towel, to be exact.

Bruise? What bruise?

I got up and opened the closet to check the body length mirror in there. I looked tired for sure, today was definitely taking its toll on me, but I didn’t see a bruise. I turned myself every which way, even checking under my pajamas to make sure there was nothing there. Then, a flash of pain in my forehead made me lift up my bangs. Between my eyes, right smack dab in the middle of my forehead just under my horn, was a huge bruise that almost looked like necrosis had taken hold. It was black and greenish, even the thin hair that made up the coat on my face looked sick somehow.

“Good goddess! Is it infected!? You did this to me, didn’t you!? What is this!?”

The mare tilted her head and part of her wet mane fell over one eye. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. It’s not infected at least, and it won’t get that way, but that’s the least of your worries. I can’t wait to see what comes out of your head.”

She had a smirk on her face and I didn’t like it. “Who are you?”

“You called me the Motor Mare, didn’t you?”

“That isn’t your name.”

“I am Celestia.” The way she said it was almost regal, like it wasn’t just her name, but her title. It surprised me.

“Why did you hit me?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” She leaned over the chair back and crossed her hooves. She lowered her massive head to meet me at eye level and smiled even wider. “Look at you. Somepony turned out pretty, didn’t they? Where’d you get that mark on your neck?”

Damn it, Pinkie! I slapped my hoof over the mark.

“I don’t have to answer you!” Even her one visible eye looked like it was smiling at me. Laughing at me even, just like Pinkie’s when...

“How about we make a deal? You tell me the truth, and I’ll tell you the truth.”

I don’t have any reason to trust anything she says, she could be just like that other mare and try to take our money.

“Why did you hit me?”

“I thought it was the best way to get the attention I wanted.”

“What do you want with Dad? Are you conning him out of his money? I… I’ll fight you!”

Celestia let out a chuckle, then couldn’t contain it anymore and started laughing. It wasn’t mocking, but… light and happy. Like she was genuinely enjoying something enough to just… laugh. “Good goddess, you are just adorable♥ Too cute. Absolutely and utterly too cute.”

I was suddenly enveloped in golden light and lifted away from the mirror and into Celestia’s forelegs. “Woah! Hey! Let go of me!” She wrapped herself around me and squeezed me like a filly with a new doll.

Oh goddess, she’s so strong!

“I can’t believe something like you ever came from something like him. So darling, so precious…” It was a struggle just to breathe, but eventually I managed to slip away from her on account of her still being wet.

Great, now my pajamas are soaked.

“What is wrong with you!? Keep your hooves off me, and keep your slutty face away from my dad!”

Nothing could break that condescending smile she had. She got out of her chair and stood in front of me. I don’t know how she even made it into the house in the first place. Her horn was almost touching the ceiling, and this room was at least ten feet high. She took a step forward, and I took a step back. She took a step forward, and I felt my tail press into the wall.

“Y-you said you’d tell the truth!” She took another step forward and leaned her neck down so we came face to face. Her eyes… dark violet with little flecks of gold all along the irises, they looked so similar, but I couldn’t figure out to what.

“I came back home for the second time in a thousand years just to chase after your father. Is there something wrong with that?”

She turned my head with her enormous hoof and brushed my mane away to get a good look at the bruise. This time, the smile almost seemed… malicious. Satisfied with that, she turned away and climbed up to my brother’s bunk, almost a little comically since the mare was gigantic and the little ladder up was maybe wide enough for one and a half of her hooves. She crashed down on the mattress and it almost looked like the frame was bending with her weight.

“A thousand… hey! Get down from there!”

Her head picked up from the bed and her horn stabbed into the ceiling. “Hmm? Why? Don’t you sleep on the bottom?”

“That bunk is my brother’s, nopony sleeps up there but him!”

She wrenched her horn out of the ceiling and used her magic to repair the hole she made. “And your brother is where, right now?”

I looked away. “He’s in Canterlot… with his mother.”

Celestia flashed from the top bunk to me in her golden light, grabbed me in one of her forelegs, and then curled around me in my bed. Her grip was steel, but her chest was soft and warm. For a second there, I’d forgotten everything. It was nice. Her holding me was… comforting and I felt… safe. Finally, the absurdity of it all was too much and I struggled my way out of her grip.

“No, no, no! This is my bed! You can’t be here! I don’t even know you!”

“So where will I sleep?”

“Go sleep with Dad! He brought you in, go bother him and do whatever slutty mares like you do!”

“But I didn’t come home to see him… I came home to see you.”

I don’t know what confused me more. The sad look on her face like she was talking about something she regretted, the genuine sincerity I heard in her voice, or… or the longing I felt when she said that.

“Why… I just don’t understand any of this…why would you want to see me?”

“Because… you’re precious to me.”

I don’t understand. I don’t understand anything. Why do I feel like crying? Why is she looking at me like that? I hate this. I hate all of it. I’m just so tired. I broke away from the accusing eye of the big white unicorn and climbed up to the top bunk and hid under the covers.

“I don’t care what you do. I’m sleeping here tonight.”

“Geez, Pinkie, it’s way too late to be outside right now.”

“I know, I just… I wanted to get away.”

It was one in the morning. I got a text from Pinkie saying she wanted to meet me at the bridge and that it was important. Sometimes, I wish she had other friends, but with as crazy as things have been at my own house… I understood. It was cold at night in Underhoof. There are hardly any trees here, and most of the Midwest of Equestria is basically all flat land. Save for the big foggy river that runs around town, it really doesn’t have too many features aside from the air base.

When the fog wasn’t too bad, if you looked from a small hill, you could see across the river to the Equestrian Air Force base. It wasn’t very big, and it mostly just served as a hangar for repairs, but planes would land here occasionally with new goods for town or to be repaired to keep the few soldiers stationed here working. The bridge that leads from the main roads and branches off to the Pie family mine and my house was where we always spent our time together.

It rose above the land just enough to act like a vantage point, so you could always see the base from here. The red lights on the tower and the hangar blinking slowly, the air strip lit just in case somepony needed to make an emergency landing. They always had a sort of calming effect on us. It was easy to relax here.

Pinkie took a lighter and a cigarette from her black coat’s pocket and lit it. She took a deep puff and sighed as she blew shapes in the air. A balloon. A tiered cake. A party hat. I could never figure out how she was doing it, and the one time I tried it, I didn’t like it. It burned and made it hard to breathe.

“You know, your dad is going to catch you one of these days. Those aren’t good for you.”

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Who cares? He’s always got some reason to be mad at me anyways. One more thing I do that he hates isn’t going to bother me.”

I always liked the cold. Underhoof doesn’t have much of value, but when the river freezes and it snows, I always like to imagine this place as an untouched wonder. A stretch of land that gets wiped from existence a few times a year. So many memories of the three of us playing in the snow, building snowponies and igloos, secret tunnels under the white. Pinkie had nearly finished her cigarette and stood to lean over the guard rail.

“Do you miss him?” she asked. Pinkie stared at the moon and let the butt drop from her mouth and into the water below. The river would take it away and nopony would ever know that she had it.

“I do,” I sighed.

I don’t know who was hurt more when we found out he was leaving, me or her. He’s my brother, I spent all my time with him. Pinkie though… she lost some of her color that day. Her mane has never been as poofy as it was when Shining was around. Now it’s just flat and straight, like all the rest of her sisters. I always thought she was an anomaly in that family, but then again, she is a twin.

“So… who did it?” I asked.

She laid her head on the railing and let out a final smoke ring. “Who do you think? It’s never anypony different. They’re all the same. I wish they would just fucking die.” She spat a gray glob into the water and watched it float away.

“Pinkie…”

“No, you know what? No. Just don’t. I didn’t come here to hear another fucking lecture, and I certainly didn’t come here to hear you complain about me. Aren’t you my friend?” She got off the rail and stepped up in my face like I was attacking her or something.

I pushed her back and stood my ground. “Don’t go off on me, I just want to help! If I wasn’t your friend, would I be here at one in the morning, on a cold October night, just so you don’t have to smoke alone?”

Her frown quivered and liquid started to pool in her eyes. She latched on to me and started to pour her tears in my mane. I wrapped my hooves around her and slowly rubbed her back. “I hate it here! I hate them, I hate school, I hate this town, and I want it all to go away! He was the only one! He loved me, and then… and then…”

A massive shot of pain sparked through my head and I staggered away from Pinkie.

“Oh goddess, it hurts!” A burning, stabbing sensation, pulsating from my forehead. My vision became blurry, my balance was off, and nausea gripped me from every angle.

“T-twilight!? What’s wrong!?”

“M-my head! It’s… it’s… it’s gonna explode!”

Like too much magic was used for a spell, or too much pressure was put on a balloon, it felt like my horn popped. Something was exiting my head, something big and black that rolled like fog and screeched like a wild beast. It looked like a pony, but more feral, more carnal. It was made of almost fog that looked like flesh, and it moved in the light like some kind of giant black rabid dog. Another hoof, a pony’s hoof, punched the black beast. The monster twisted and corkscrewed, the black shadow leaving a trail of darkness that acted like ink. Another shadow pulled itself out of my horn and kicked off my face to go after the beast. I rolled away and only stopped when Pinkie caught me and helped me back up.

“What the-”

“-hell is going on!?” Pinkie finished for me, pointing at the black pony and the monster exchanging blows. The horse made of darkness charged to slam the black pony, but it stepped aside and flipped in the air, landing a back-hoof on the monster’s head. The half of the giant shadow-like pony… skeleton? staggered away and roared at the black pony. It was hard to tell them apart because they were both so dark in the street light, almost featureless. The little light that did reflect showed me that neither pony really had any eyes, and that was unnerving. From a distance, I heard a familiar sound. I knew this sound. This sound was something I had heard earlier, but… what was it?

“Is that the Motor Mare?” Pinkie asked. I turned my head away from the fight just in time to see the giant white mare on her Harley, wielding her green bass by the neck again and heading straight for the shadows. Somehow, the big skeletal beast was even bigger than Celestia on her massive bike, and it was still leaking ink from its missing back half.

“Gotcha now, bitch!” Celestia leapt from the bike, letting it crash and roll off the bridge and took her bass in both hooves to swing it at… the black pony. Not the monster, but the thing fighting the monster.

“Uh…”

“Did she miss?”

The black pony went flying across the bridge and the skeletal monster turned after Celestia.

“Oh, that’s not the right one.”

“She did miss!”

The monster charged after her, the beast’s teeth being fought back by Celestia’s bass, one minor chord after another with each clash. She sidestepped and whipped around to slam the body of the bass into the monster’s face, but it bit it.

“Well. That’s not good.” Using the bass against her, the skeletal horse reared its head up, bringing Celestia still attached to the bass with it, and then slamming it down on the bridge. Celestia’s head bounced violently off the concrete before the monster stomped with one hoof and bucked her into the guardrail with the other. Blood flew out of Celestia’s mouth when her body bent the rails, but she never let go of the bass’ neck. The ink leaking monster prepared to charge, and before I even knew what I was doing, I ran to protect her.

“Don’t touch her!”

I stood between them, but nothing changed. The monster charged, its massive hooves stomping the ground toward me, only a few steps and it would be on me. It was just about to ram me when some random white pony jumped out of nowhere and kicked it in the face. The monster tumbled and rolled, pieces of its jaw went flying, covering more of the bridge in the black ink.

The white pony was faceless. No eyes, no mouth, just a mane, tail, and body that looked almost like matte plastic. It nodded at me, then chased after the beast. The black monster was struggling to get back up, its broken jaw looked like it was leaking smoke on the ground in a slightly different way than the ink from its back half. The white pony leapt into the air with his forehooves raised like he was about to grab something. Then, I felt a massive body step from behind me, and only had time to realize that there was a giant hoof on my face as Celestia too, used me as a springboard.

“It’s about damn time!” She met the white pony’s forehooves, and the moment it had a hold of her, it swung her down like a weapon while she swung her bass like an ax. The green instrument finally let out a resonant chord and the beast let out its faltering screech as the bass caved in its skull.

The rest of the skeletal monster shattered into a million pieces and evaporated into black smoke, dissipating with the wind. Celestia hopped from the white pony’s hooves and spun herself over her bass and landed in a T-pose with her bass on her shoulder.

“Well, I think that we did pretty good, don’t you?” She was smiling the same way she was when she first showed up today and I couldn’t decide if that was just her natural smile, or some wild, crazed face she makes when she just beat the hell out of something. She was looking at Pinkie, whom was probably even more confused than I am.

Pinkie looked to me for help, but I just shook my head. “I uh. What?”

Celestia went back down on all fours and brought a hoof to her lips for a moment, then clapped. “Still too early. You should probably go home.” Pinkie managed to start to get up before she disappeared in golden light.

“Wait, where did she go!? Do you even know where she lives!?”

Celestia frowned and rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on Twilight, don’t you think I at least research the ponies I think will be of use to me? I am far more competent than my sister.”

Celestia put a hoof to her mouth again, and then whistled. From far down the river, I saw water splash up in the moonlight, like something was riding through it. Despite all the things that have happened today, I was still surprised to see her Harley driving down the river, just above the water, on its own. The bike wheelied and jumped up on top of the bridge, swinging into a J-turn and stopping right beside Celestia.

“Good boy.” It sort of… wiggled from side to side while Celestia petted the headlight, and then she and the plastic pony mounted. I blinked.

“I… have no words.” Celestia rolled her eyes and shook her head. She formed a soft smile and held her helmet out to me.

“Come, Twilight. Let’s go home.”

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I knew I’d made a mistake. When she said that, the way she looked at me, that genuinely warm expression, if only for a moment, reminded me of my brother.