super secret shippin pones: raripie chapters

by Argembarger

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Random
Length: 820

choose your own adventure options

I decided to make Raripie a (stupid) choose your own adventure.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-13 14:52:49 UTC

3

"I went back to bed!"

You turned around to go back to bed and PINKIE PIE WAS ALREADY THERE!

"Hey honey want to make horse love?"

of course you do

THE END - GOOD END???

you can go back here now but you should hit next chapter if the option is available to you don't click a choice again or you will be trapped in an endless loop

actually nevermind do whatever you want

4

"Yes, I had taken aspirin already!"

Uh, if I recall, you actually took quite a large dose of aspirin before. Are you sure you went back for more? Aspirin overdose is dangerous, and, um

I ate more aspirin! I did it! You can't stop me!!!

nope

5

"Give me aspirin! Quit dogging me, dawg!"

Alright then.

Your eyes glazed over the various bottles in your medicine cabinet. You rubbed them to try to focus, but the words remained as fuzzy and indistinct as ever. It amazed you that you had been able to successfully take aspirin in the first place.

After a few minutes of staring and concentrating, you pulled out three bottles. You knew aspirin was in one of them. Who knows what could have been in the others?

I swallowed the contents of the pink bottle!

I guzzled the contents of the purple bottle!

I ingested the contents of the white bottle!

6

"I haven't got a clue!"

Ugh, alright, fine. We'll take it from the top.

You need to pay attention, okay?

So, the way it all began was...

7

"No, I didn't actually want more aspirin."

So you went up to the bathroom for aspirin to take aspirin again but you didn't actually want more aspirin but you went ahead and took it anyway? Or you didn't take aspirin and you were mistaken about the idea of having taken more aspirin because you didn't remember taking aspirin after you already took aspir...

...You know what?

Let's start over.

8

"Pink bottle! Pink bottle!"

You had swallowed an entire bottle of calamine lotion.

You then proceeded to launch the contents of your stomach forth in a jolly pink fountain of regurgitation. The world wooshed off into the abyss and left you to black out peacefully.

You woke up in a holding cell of the Symbionese Liberation Army. As you were strapped to a chair, you weren't able to do a whole lot about the situation.

"Think she's awake yet, boss?"

"No tellin', man. Every Conservative Dog reacts differently to the drugs."

Voices in the dark.

"She's been mumbling about being a pony all night. Must be a killer trip."

"Yeah, totally. Oh, hold on, I think she's coming around."

Footsteps.

"Hey,"

A face you don't recognize.

"...wanna hear something disturbing?"

"...What?"

"Burning a piece of cloth is actually stigmatized in this country. You can love freedom and still hate what our government stands for."

Something stirs deep within you. Your True Liberal Nature, oozing out of your Conservative gallbladder.

"Oh my Science! Something must be done!"

(This is a direct download link to one of my favorite games of all time. I consider this to be the best possible ending you can achieve because it means maybe you will do something actually fun instead of reading pony fanfiction.)

9

"The purple bottle was probably safe, I had hoped."

The purple bottle was a bottle of Agent Purple. You swallowed it and died.

"But I'm still alive and talking to you right now!"

Hey.

"What?"

Did I ever mention who I was?

"No..."

I'm Haley Joel Osment.

"Does that mean I was Bruce Willis all along?"

Yeah.

"Oh NOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo"

10

"Historically, I have always taken aspirin from small white bottles. This was obviously just another one of those times."

You're right. It was.

You took some more aspirin. For some reason. I guess.

Ugh.

What had you done then, genius?

I went outside!

I went back to bed!

1

"I got some aspirin to clear my head!"

Ah, yes. Of course. Right.

Up the stairs you went: to the bathroom. You flung open the medicine cabinet, and—

Wait a minute, this sounds familiar. Didn't you already take some aspirin?

Yes

No

I don't remember

2

"I went outside for some fresh air!"

Ok.

Outside you indeed had gone. You breathed in the stale air of horsetown as Pinkie Pie inevitably ran straight in to you muttering something about shipping obligations.

"Oh, hi, Rarity! I didn't see you there because I was thinking about going to your house to see you! Okay, bye!" she said afterwards.

She had continued trotting off to your house before you had had a chance to react.

What then?

I woke up from my dream!

What? I don't get a second choice?

what kind of wack-flank cyoa is this even anyway

i want my money back right now