Spike Makes Out With a Bug

by closet brony 77

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Spike, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Random, Discord, Sex
Length: 7061

or how twilight found out about her assistant's secret relationship

or how twilight found out about her assistant's secret relationship

spike has very strange tastes in mares....specifically ones with bug wings and holes in their legs.

(A/N, sex tag for implied bug on dragon sex and innuendo.)

Published 2019-02-09 01:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-09 01:40:01 UTC

why did I write this?

“Spike! Spike?! Where are you?” Twilight Sparkle shouted through the crystal halls of the Friendship Castle.

For the last couple of hours or so she had been on the search for her little dragon assistant to act as a substitute teacher for the school of friendship. Rainbow Dash had come down with a bad case of the flu and couldn’t come in to teach her loyalty classes, which meant the responsibility fell on the shoulders of one certain baby dragon as it usually did.

But he was nowhere to be found….

Twilight had checked nearly everywhere he could have been today: his room, Rarity’s boutique, the Sweet Apple Acres barn where he played cards with Big Mac, Discord’s realm where cards played them, and even the Everfree Forest that Spike went for walks in frequently. But no matter where she looked, the princess couldn’t find so much as a single trace of her number one assistant.

Worser still was that everypony she asked hadn’t seen him all day, not even Discord who should have been able to track him down simply by clapping his hands and doing a little dance.

Not that she was worried about him, oh no Spike was a big dragon now, he had grown his wings for Celestia’s sake and saved the Crystal Empire twice, not to mention he was technically the Equestrian ambassador for the dragon lands and the changeling hive; if spike was in any danger he could most certainly handle it.

But there was something that was bugging her; recently Spike had been spending an abnormally large amount of time in solitude, disappearing at random moments in the day and reappearing just as frequently looking slightly disheveled but not enough to cause concern, he had even turned down a picnic with Rarity because of a ‘prior engagement’ in his words which was something that NEVER happened. Sure he still hung out with his guy friends to play his little dorky role playing game and still went on whimsical adventures with the rest of the girls, but there was always something off about the little guy, something that had changed with him.

Being the natural worrywart she was, Twilight almost immediately assumed that her worst fears were coming true: Spike was drifting away from them. She knew that this sort of thing was just another part of life, when colts and fillies get older they tend to ‘leave the nest’ so to speak and find new friends alongside greener pastures for the next stage of their lives but Twilight was by no means ready for it.

Oh it felt like only yesterday that she had hatched him for her entrance exam and now she was losing him, Spike was like a brother to her and possibly her very best friend in all of Equestria and to know that he might be out of her life in the near future terrified her. It was Shining Armor going off to the royal guard academy all over again, only much worse.

The only reason the rest of the girls hadn’t noticed yet was simply because they had either been too busy with their own little issues or weren’t as fined tuned to Spike’s little quirks as she was.

Regardless she was planning on telling them about this very soon, maybe even ask them if they noticed any other strange personality changes in their friend to see if he was planning on doing something drastic, and hold an intervention of sorts with the baby dragon to get this all sorted out.

Worse comes to worse, she could chain him up in his room and deliver him meals through a slot in the door so he’ll never leave any of them ever…...then again now that she thinks that out loud it doesn’t sound like a good idea.

No matter, she’ll think of something eventually, right now she has to get back to the matter at hand which is finding the school of friendship’s best substitute teacher, he couldn’t have just vanished into thin air right?

“You looking for Spike?” Starlight asked, causing the alicorn to jump slightly at the sound of her voice.

“Yeah, and I’ve been searching everywhere and I still can’t find him!” the princess replied in exasperation

“He got back to the castle about two hours ago.”

“What? How do you know that?”

“I saw him sneaking in a window with this weird black and teal potted plant in his arms, when I asked him about it he said that he had been taking one of his walks in Everfree when Zecora ran into him and asked him to take care of one of her plants while she was away.” explained the unicorn.

That was another thing that was bugging Twilight, Spike had been spending an awful lot of his free time in the Everfree forest going on walks all by himself, he wouldn’t let anypony come with him because he said he just needed some time to be alone with his thoughts which only served to stoke Twilights fears that he was going to be leaving the nest soon even more.

Then something else occured to the alicorn, while she wasn’t as close to Zecora as she was to the rest of her friends she still kept up to date with the potion master’s current affairs and the zebra had made no mention of going away on any sort trip in the near future. Not to mention she usually asks Fluttershy to handle that sort of thing

“Okay Spike is definitely keeping something from us, there’s no way Zecora would go away on a trip without telling anypony, especially us.” Twilight said “do you know where Spike is now?”

Starlight merely shrugged “search me. He walked off into the halls of the castle and I haven’t seen him since. But I know he hasn’t left yet.”

Well on the bright side at least that meant her search was narrowed down to a smaller area.

Giving her student a quick thanks, Twilight stalked deeper into her crystal home with the intent of tracking down the baby dragon that had been eluding her all day.

But as she got further towards the left wing she started to hear strange noises, she couldn’t quite put her hoof on it but it had a weird sucking sound, like somepony walking on damp swamp mud.

As she followed the sound it gradually became louder and more audible, soon she started hearing wet smacking sounds like somepony throwing gelatin against a wall and eventually loud moans which only made her more confused.

‘What in the world is that noise?’

Twilight followed the strange sounds to one of the storage closets that had been scattered around the castle for various maintenance supplies Spike used to do his chores.

The door itself was shaking slightly, light bumps and bangs were resonating from behind it that were accented by all the sounds she was hearing earlier.

She knew that simply bursting in there would just be asking for an embarrassing situation so the princess decided to do the polite thing and knock.

“Hello? Is somepony in there?” Twilight said, wrapping her hoof against the door.

There was no response, the noises merely continued uninterrupted, the occupant had made no indication that they had even heard the mare at the door.

But there was one voice that sprang up a red alert in her mind.

“Oh Chrissy….”

That was Spike, that was Spike’s voice moaning from behind that door and from what she heard there was somepony else in there.

Her protective older sister instincts kicked into overdrive and immediately threw any sort of politeness and tact out the window in favor of immediately barging in.

Which she did.

“Spike! What are you doing in-” Twilight Sparkle stopped mid sentence, her entire body freezing up, mind snapping in half at the sight that she had been treated to when she opened the door.

Spike was indeed in there, she hadn’t been mistaken, but she had never expected to see her longtime nemesis Queen Chrysalis holding the baby dragon in her hooves, tongue snaked halfway down his throat in a kiss.

The sight of a purple pony princess coming through the door was more than enough to cut the duo’s little make out session short, their mouths breaking free from one another with only a few strands of spit connecting them. A look of a teenage couple having their parents walking in on them during a bedtime romp was etched across their face.

“T-twilight! I-I can explain! I swear!” the baby dragon stammered out, wiping away some of the bug’s drool from his bottom lip.

But Twilight didn’t say anything, she didn’t even blink, her mind had come to a complete and utter halt as it desperately tried to process what she had just seen.

‘Spike was kissing Chrysalis.’

‘Chrysalis was kissing Spike.’

‘They were Prench kissing.’

‘Why were they Prench kissing?’

‘Why is she here?’

These thoughts and many more like them were the ones that ran through the head of the princess of friendship.

After about five minutes of both sides staring at each other, Spike trying to get Twilight’s attention all the while, the element of magic finally snapped out of her stupor as her brain finally came up with an adequate response.

In a calmness and prose that could only be accomplished by a princess, Twilight walked up to Chrysalis, looked her straight in the eye…...and blasted her through the wall.

**************************

“I ALREADY TOLD YOU! I WASN’T USING MIND CONTROL ON HIM!” Chrysalis screamed as several magic missles streaked by her head.

“LIES! LIESLIESLIES!” Twilight growled like a feral animal, desperately trying to shoot the changeling out of the sky.

The former serene atmosphere of Ponyville was immediately shattered when Queen Chrysalis was sent flying out of the Castle of Friendship, the same could be said for the window she was blasted through.

Knowing that she wouldn’t be able to take on a raging alicorn in direct combat, even with the power Spike’s love granted her, the former changeling queen immediately went on the defensive.

Or in layman’s terms, it meant she started running away.

Who could blame her though? Nopony had ever seen Twilight get so angry, it was quite the spectacle actually to see a princess in such a rage.

In fact it was so distracting that nopony had even noticed the baby dragon flying after the pair, desperately trying to get their attention.

“TWILIGHT NO! DON’T HURT HER!” The baby dragon cried out, barely keeping up with the alicorn’s erratic flight patterns.

Just up ahead, a certain blue pegasus was napping on top of a cloud, chuckling to herself slightly.

She had managed to con Twilight into giving her a day off from the friendship school by sending her some phony baloney doctor’s note that said she had come down with a bad case of the flu and now she had the whole day free for catching a few winks on her favorite clouds.

Sure that meant Spike would have to pick up her slack again, but a few days of running the sports teams at the school wouldn’t kill him.

On the other hand, the changeling that burst through the cloud she was lying down on might kill her, as would the magical crossfire that nearly hit her.

“GAH! WHAT THE HECK?!” The pegasus yelled at she was thrown into a tailspin, one that she was easily able to recover from due to her Wonderbolt training.

“Dash! You have to help me stop Twilight from killing Chrysalis!” Spike shouted, flying up beside the pegasus.

“What? Why?! She’s evil remember?!”

“I don’t want her to fry my marefriend!” The baby dragon shot back.

Rainbow Dash’s jaw nearly fell off at that comment “MAREFRIEND?!!”

“Look it’s a long story, I’ll explain everything later! Just help me now!”

Right then a loud magical explosion burst forth from the town square.

“Oh man! CHRISSY!” Spike cried out, flying off in the direction of the burst.

Rainbow Dash could only hover mid air in shock, trying to make sense of what she had just heard.

‘Spike and chrysalis…how did that happen?’ Rainbow Dash thought to herself.

Back with Chrysalis and Twilight, the pony princess has finally managed to hit the queen with one of her magic bolts, sending the bug down to earth.

While she was down, Chrysalis was far from being out. Fed up with running, she fired out several retaliatory blasts at the pony princess in a feeble attempt to defend herself; all of which had no effect.

Twilight responded by throwing everything she could get her magic aura around at the queen

“WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME FOR ONE SECOND?!” The changeling cried out, narrowly ducking under a grey cross eyed pegasus that was tossed at her.

“NEVER! I WON’T LET YOU HURT SPIKE!” Twilight shot back, picking up several crates and volleying them over.

Just across the town square, a party pony and a draconequus were watching the battle intensely, both individuals seated on lawn chairs with an abnormally large popcorn bucket between them.

“I have to admit, I’m actually rather impressed by Twilight’s ferocity in this fight.” remarked Discord “I’m almost scared of her.”

“I know, I haven’t seen her this mad since she found out about my Pinkie sense.” Pinkie Pie replied. “Hey care for a wager? Twenty bits says Twilight wins.”

“Come now Pinkie, we both know that’s a sucker’s bet…..oh, don’t look now but the cavalry has just arrived.” said Discord, pointing a claw towards the baby dragon who made a rough landing in the town square, clearly out of breath.

Spotting the lord of chaos a mere few feet away from him, Spike rushed over.

“Discord you *pant* have to *pant* help me!” the baby dragon huffed out.

“With what pray tell?” Discord replied, playing dumb.

Spike merely motioned to the fighting ponies, Twilight had now created a large fly swatter construct and was chasing chrysalis around with it.

“Oh right that. Sorry Spike, as much as I’d love to stop your marefriend from becoming a green stain on the road this is just too amusing for me to pass up.” Discord said with a smile, shoveling another handful of popcorn into his mouth.

Spike sucked in a deep breath as his expression grew stern. “Alright, I didn’t want to do this but you leave me no choice.”

The baby dragon reached into a small bag that he had strapped to his waist and pulled out a small slip of paper, which he then handed to Discord.

Get out of chaos free card!

When redeemed this card grants the holder one free favor from everypony’s favorite god of chaos or a reversal of one chaotic situation conjured up by said god of chaos.

This card is non-transferable and cannot be used multiple times per day, non-usable on holidays or when Discord is cranky, must be redeemed before the end of the world.

“Darn it. That is the last time I ask Fluttershy for advice on a last minute birthday gift, fine I’ll help you but I won’t like it.” grumbled Discord as he stood up from his lawn chair.

“Thank you!” Spike said, taking a seat to catch his breath.

The lord of chaos flew after the changeling and alicorn, whose fight had now spilled over to Sweet Apple Acres where Twilight started summoning treants to crush Chrysalis who in turn was blasting them into splinters, much to Applejack’s displeasure.

“NO! NOT BLOOMBERG’S GRANDDAUGHTER! SHE HADN’T EVEN GONE THROUGH HER FIRST HARVEST YET!” the farmer cried out as another tree fell to the changeling queen.

Discord could only sigh, figures that the best dose of chaos this boring old town had gotten in years had to be ruined by it’s resident dragon, first chance he got the draconequus was ripping that card up.

“On the bright side, I won’t have to keep Spike’s dirty little secret anymore” said Discord as he sent out a wave of chaos magic with a single clap.

At first, the only thing that appeared to happen was all the treants turned back into their normal old apple-ly selves and returned to their original spots. But then they started to feel it…

Twilight tried to blast Chrysalis yet again only to suddenly feel like a massive weight was pressing down on her back, her legs felt like jelly and she struggled to keep herself standing until finally she collapsed to the ground.

Chrysalis on the other hand experienced the opposite effect, she felt herself become completely light, as if there was no weight on her whatsoever, it created an almost calming effect on her, until she started floating upwards against her will, all she could do was hook one of her leg holes around a nearby tree branch and beat her insect wings away from the sky.

“What? What happen-” Twilight stopped when she noticed Discord floating a short distance away from them “DISCORD! What are you doing?! I have to stop chrysalis!”

“Twilight, personally I would love to watch you serve up some deep fried changeling but unfortunately I don’t think Spike would feel the same way.” the lord of chaos said, filing the nails on his lion arm. “Now you all just sit tight until the baby dragon gets here.”

Discord really should have been paying a bit more attention to Twilight though, because despite the large amount of gravitational forces acting upon her, the princess of friendship was able to reposition her head in such a way that her horn was lined up directly at the changeling queen.

Once she knew she had a clear shot, Twilight fired out a beam of magic at Chrysalis

Luckily for the shapeshifter, she was able to react quickly enough to dodge to the beam.

Unluckily, a specific baby dragon just so happened to be flying over at the time and was caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The beam struck Spike right in the chest and knocked him out cold midair, sending him crashing into the dirt of Sweet Apple Acres headfirst.

“SPIKE!!!” Twilight and Chrysalis screamed in unison.

“Oh dear, that can’t be good.” said Discord.

******************************

Twilight and Chrysalis were seated next to each other on a couch in the Friendship Castle’s main library, ashamed expressions on their faces like they had been sent to the principal's office.

Spike stood across from them with a bandage around his head and chest from the fall, he was lucky enough to land in a cart full of hay bales so he was spared any major injuries. Once he regained consciousness he had Discord bring the entire group to the Friendship Castle so that he could explain the situation.

“Okay are we calm now? Have we gotten everything out of our systems?” said Spike with crossed arms.

“Yes Spike.”

“Yes my love.”

The baby dragon then took a seat in one of the comfier armchairs, which Discord just so happened to be resting atop of like a cat. “Alright that’s good this is good….so where should I start?”

“How about explaining to me why you were kissing my sworn enemy?!” Twilight shouted.

“Twilight, she’s my marefriend we’ve gone over this already.”

“But why her? She tried to kill us! She kidnapped Cadence! She took compromising pictures of us!” ranted the princess.

“If it makes you feel any better, I burned those pictures a long time ago.” Queen Chrysalis remarked with a flip of her mane.

“I got this Chrissy.” said Spike “Honestly she’s actually really sweet once you get past the whole ‘feeding off love’ thing, and she knows how to have fun.”

“But how? When?”

Spike scratched the back of his head “well do you remember when Starlight cast a spell that backfired and she started puking up slugs? And then you sent me out to Zecora's to get a cure?”

Twilight nodded.

“Long story short, I ended up getting lost and stumbled upon Chrissy here in a cavern she had turned into a new home.” Spike’s expression grew forlorn. “You should have seen her Twilight, she was on the brink of death from starvation, Chrissy couldn’t even stand up because she was so weak. I could have just left her there to die, have one less villain in the world, but I couldn’t for some reason, so I picked a few berries off of some of the nearby bushes and fed them to her.”

“That was the first act of kindness I had ever received.” said Chrysalis, hopping off the couch and nuzzling her head against her drakefriend’s. “Honestly I mistook the warm fuzzy feelings it gave me for some kind of illness.”

Spike ran a hand through her seaweed hair. “About a week later I came back with another basket of food to the same cave and she was still there, looking much better but still fairly hostile. Accusing me of being a spy for you, but when I gave her that basket of food she seemed to calm down a lot. Then we started talking.”

“About what?”

“Oh such wonderful things.” said Queen Chrysalis, laying her head in Spike’s lap. “I wish I could remember them.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow “you can’t remember what you talked about?”

“Nope. Weird isn’t it? I came by there almost every day since then to talk to her and have a decent lunch and all we can remember is that over time things started to become more casual between us, more familiar, more friendly. Until one day-”

By this point Chrysalis was now laying across Spike’s lap while he stroked her hair. “I kissed him. Sure it had been meant to take a bit of love from him but as I pressed my lips against his I felt something strange, like all the warm feelings that had been building up for the past few weeks had climaxed and for the first time in my entire life I felt love, pure, unadulterated love. I finally understood that love was FAR more than just food.”

“Then I started kissing her back and we decided to start dating right then and there.” said Spike.

“Wait so that’s why you’ve been going to everfree so much lately?”

“Yeah, but I could tell you were getting suspicious after a while so we had to mix things up, luckily dating a shapeshifter has its advantages.”

“It wasn’t easy.” said Chrysalis, moving Spike’s claws to scratch her belly. “Even if I could take the form of different ponies, I couldn’t risk being detected by one of you. So we went on little secret dates, me taking the form of a different mare everytime.”

“And me taking her somewhere quiet where nopony would bother us, even if we were spotted nopony would question me hanging out with a regular old mare” Spike finished.

“How-how long has this been going on?” Twilight stuttered, still trying to wrap her head around this.

“About three months now.”

Twilight took a double take. “THREE MONTHS?!”

“Tell me about it, I thought for sure we would have been caught after the first month but you guys never seemed to notice me hanging out with a bunch of different mares.” said Spike. “But that’s not important, the point is that we love each other Twi, I love her and Chrissy loves me, isn’t that enough?”

Looking into those hopeful eyes, wordlessly begging and pleading that she would let them be together, Twilight sighed. “Alright, fine. At least she’s not feeding off love any more.”

“Oh no, I still do.” said Chrysalis, sitting up and putting her head on top of Spike’s. “If you think I’m trading my sexy, exotic body for one of those technicolor freak shows you’re mistaken.”

“Wha? But-”

“That was going to be the next thing, I’ve kind of been letting Chrysalis feed off my love since we started dating, she doesn’t take a lot, just enough to keep her full and me still alive, it doesn’t even hurt when she does it.” explained the baby dragon as his mare friend kissed the top of his head.

“Are you sure?”

“Twilight, I’ve been feeding off your dragon for a good five minutes now and neither of you have noticed yet.” said Chrysalis.

Twilight and Spike both stared at her blankly.

“What? All that running for my life made me hungry.”

Twilight grumbled “so you don’t want to hurt my friends anymore?”

“Not exactly, see before I met Spike I wanted to slowly disembowel you in front of all of Equestria but now I just want to throw you off a cliff. Regardless, I can still resist the overwhelming urge to murder you all if it means I keep getting sweet love from my little dragon here.”

“She’s a work in progress” Spike said nervously “as long as she’s on the road to reformation right?”

“Fine whatever, it’s progress. I shouldn’t be too upset, it’s not like you two were having sex in there after all.”

“Not yet at least….” Chrysalis whispered only to stop when Spike made a ‘shut up’ gesture.

“You haven’t slept with each other right? RIGHT?” said Twilight, her mother complex coming back to the forefront of her mind.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Spike gathered his words “I….I wish I could tell you no Twilight, I really do.”

In less than a second, the entire library was engulfed in a raging magic tornado, books flying off shelves, furniture being thrown about, even Discord was being flung around like a rag doll.

“TWILIGHT CALM DOWN!” Spike shouted.

“CALM DOWN?! HOW CAN I CALM DOWN?! YOU F*CKED CHRYSALIS! YOU HAD SEX WITH MY WORST ENEMY! AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW YOU’RE TOO YOUNG FOR THAT!!!” Twilight boomed.

Chrysalis immediately cowered behind Spike, she knew that the princess would never bring harm to her precious dragon and she didn’t feel like being on the receiving end of Twilight’s wrath for a second time today.

Discord on the other hand, got tired of this situation sooner rather than later and snapped his fingers again, a magical inhibitor materializing around Twilight’s horn along with a cone suited for pets who recently got out of surgery around her neck, causing the entire magical storm to stop. A second snap cleaned up the mess.

“Now then, If you promise to be a good little filly from here on out, I’ll remove the cone of shame and that device on your horn. Deal?” said Discord.

Twilight grabbed both sides of the cone and tried to wrench it off her head but quickly found it to be an impossible task due to a lack of fingers, so using the breathing exercises that cadence taught her, Twilight calmed herself back down.

Almost immediately the cone and device disappeared from her head.

“See that wasn’t so hard. Now back to it, I believe you were going to tell Twilight about how I found about your little midnight meetups?”

Twilight’s head snapped in Discord’s direction “YOU KNEW?!”

“Certainly, although I really wish it could have gone differently. It was Nightmare Night and I had teleported into Spike room to give him a good ol’ Nightmare Night fright. Imagine my surprise when I saw queenie here bouncing up and down on his….dragon lances, while taking the form of Fleur De Lis.”

Twilight’s head nearly came off her neck as it whipped around to face the changeling, a shocked look in her eyes.

“What? I thought you ponies liked to dress up for Nightmare Night. Besides I always enjoy a bit of roleplaying in the bed room, in fact I excel at it.” said Chrysalis, running her tongue against Spike’s cheek.

Twilight shuddered slightly at the mental image of Chrysalis on top of Spike with his….

Discord, thankfully, caused that train of thought to come to a screeching halt “anywho, after my threeway idea was rejected Spike here made me promise to keep their relationship a secret from the rest of you. I agreed on the condition that we never spoke of the incident again.”

“You didn’t get her pregnant did you?”

“Oh tartarus no!” Queen Chrysalis snapped “I’m nowhere near ready to start up a new hive yet, much less one with fire breathing changelings. I always use the same spell I used on Shining Armor to keep him from knocking me up when I took Cadence’s place.”

Great, yet another mental image she’d need to scrub away from her mind.

“Look I know this is a weird situation Twilight, if you told me a few months ago that I’d end up dating Queen Chrysalis I’d say you were crazy but here we are. I promise you have nothing to worry about, right Chrissy?” said spike.

“Right” replied Chrysalis with a seductive smile before leaning in and kissing the dragon deeply.

“And you are completely okay with dating a baby dragon?” said Twilight, addressing Chrysalis.

Breaking the kiss Chrysalis looked at Twilight with a cocky grin. “Well I’ve always had a thing for fresh meat.”

“CHRYSALIS!”

“I’m kidding! But seriously though, he’s only a few years younger than you princess and I’m almost two hundred now, there aren’t a lot of remaining suitors in my age range.”

Twilight fell back against the couch with a huff, as much as she hated to admit it chrysalis had a point, besides Spike was for all intensive purposes an adult in the eyes of Equestrian law.

“Fine, but if I so much as think you have malicious intentions with him-”

“Yes, you’ll tear me limb from limb then have the bloody pieces tossed into a dungeon, I’m well aware of the power of your wrath princess.” said Chrysalis with a wave of her hoof.

“Well since the secret’s out now I might as well send these now.” said Discord.

The trio looked over and saw that Discord had a set of five envelopes hovering his his chaos magic, one had Rarity’s cutie mark on it, the next had Celestia’s cutie mark, the one after that was stamped with the Crystal Empire insignia, the fourth had a flashing camera, and the fifth had what looked like a set of orange horns.

While Chrysalis and Twilight didn’t recognize the letters, Spike sure as Tartarus did.

“Discord don’t you-” but Spike wasn’t quick enough as all the letters instantly flew out the window and scattered into different directions all over Equestria.

“-dare” Spike finished as the words died in his throat.

“Discord, what did you just do?” questioned Twilight.

“Oh just felt like spreading a little news around….” he replied with a cheshire smile.

********************************

The first letter arrived to a certain fashionable boutique in the center of Ponyville, smashing in through a window which startled the resident fashionista so much that she nearly tore her current project in two.

“What in Celestia’s name?!” Rarity shouted, spinning on her heel to see a letter addressed to her sitting on a shelf of fabric.

“A letter? Who could be sending me a letter at this time” said Rarity as she tore the note open and fetched her reading glasses.

“Let’s see here ‘Dearest Rarity, I regretfully inform you that your number one admirer, Spike the dragon, has been snatched up by another mare.’”

Well that wasn’t so bad, Rarity had known about the little dragon’s crush on her for a while now but knew she could never return his feelings for a multitude of reasons, it was nice to know that he had finally gotten over that silly little infatuation.

“Who is this lucky mare you may ask? Well she is the former leader of the changelings, Queen….”

Rarity froze in place, her glasses falling off her nose in shock as her eyes nearly popped out of her head at what she had just read.

After glancing the note over several more times to ensure she wasn’t seeing things, the generous mare calmly placed the note on a nearby table, picked her glasses off the floor and placed them back in their proper spot, took in a deep breath.

And let out a shrill scream.

*************************

Meanwhile in Canterlot, the princess of the sun was sifting through a mountain of paperwork, the one downside to being the leader of Equestria was the massive workload that she had to perform every single day, from signing official documents that made equestria run to denying the nobles’ requests to hold the right to have griffin slaves, it was just a massive headache.

So much so that even the slightest disturbance could send her off into a rage…

Suddenly a note appeared on her muzzle in a puff of smoke, but she barely blinked at the random piece of parchment, she was over one thousand years old, nothing really surprised her any more.

“A note from Ponyville, strange. It doesn’t appear to be from Twilight.” said Celestia, tearing the envelope open

“Dear Princess Celestia I learned something important today” from the get go she could tell that this was a note from Discord in an obvious attempt to parody her student’s letters “I learned that the power of love and friendship will always conquer all, even if it’s love between two different species there is always a chance for romance, Spike proved that to me today when he professed his undying love for Queen Chrysalis and she did the same for him…..”

Celestia stared at the parchment for a moment, her fatigued brain slowly trying to catch up with what she had just found out.

Once it did, she pressed a small button on her desk.

“Raven, cancel all my appointments today and get the royal forger to handle the rest of today’s paperwork. I have an urgent matter in Ponyville that must be taken care of right away.” said the princess of the sun.

“Of course your highness, right away.”

On that note, Princess Celestia walked out of the room to her balcony and took flight towards ponyville.

If one happened to be outside at the time, one would have noticed that it had gotten slightly hotter out as the sun began to burn just a bit brighter.

*****************************

Princess Cadence was putting Flurry Heart down for a nap when she received her letter, jutting out of her daughter’s diaper rather suddenly.

Pulling the letter out of the crib she began to read it.

“A letter from ponyville, must be Twilight wanting to know how I’m doing.” said Cadence as she unfurled the letter.

Hi Cadence, it’s your old pal Discord. Normally I’d put some kind of joking message in here about the current situation but since this concerns your area of expertise and I know you had….plans regarding a certain baby dragon, I feel that it is my duty to inform you of a new- oh to tartarus with it, I’m just gonna come out and say it, Spike is dating Chrysalis, take this as you will.

Cadence’s eye twitched slightly, her teeth gritting against each other.

Casting a sound proofing spell around herself so she wouldn’t wake the foal next to her and the princess of love threw her letter to the ground and shouted in anger.

“GREAT! JUST PERFECT! FIVE YEARS OF SHIPPING WORK DOWN THE DRAIN! I SPENT MONTHS BUILDING UP SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN SPIKE AND A BUNCH OF OTHER FEMALE CREATURES SO HE’D HAVE A NICE HAREM WHEN HE GETS OLDER AND HE THROWS IT ALL AWAY ON A BUG!” Cadence yelled before taking in a few deep breaths “alright Cadence, get ahold of yourself, you’re the princess of love, you are single handedly responsible for over two-hundred loving marriages, you can salvage this, Chrysalis is probably open minded, the plan hasn’t failed yet. I’d better get to the drawing board while there’s still time though, PRINCESS OF LOVE AWAY!”

*****************************

Thorax was enjoying a nice cup of tea when a letter from Ponyville randomly splashed into it, spraying the drink into his face.

“What the? Where did this come from?” said the changeling king, shaking off the liquid and opening the letter.

Greentings Thorax, this is a letter from your friendly neighborhood god of chaos, Discord. I know we haven’t had any sort of interaction outside of that incident where we needed to save our friends and I wish to remedy that as well as strengthen a pre existing bond we have with one of our mutual friends, Spike. Which is why I officially invite you to our weekly games of Ogres and Oubliettes, a fun magical role-playing game, it’s going down every saturday if you wish to attend, Spike would love to have you.

-your friend Discord.

P.S. Spike is having sex with your former leader Chrysalis.

“Discord? Oh yeah that weird horse creature I met a while back. Wow, it was sure nice of him to invite me to a little guy’s night in Ponyville I can’t wait to go.” said Thorax with a smile before a thought occurred to him. “Hang on a sec.”

He picked the letter back up and glanced over it again, finally noticing the post note that was left by Discord.

“Huh...didn’t see that coming. Well I guess we won’t have to worry about her anymore, Spike will probably be able to explain how it happened next time I see him.” said Thorax with slight indifference.

The changeling then returned to his tea, not bothered at all by the fact that his best friend was sleeping with what was essentially his biological mother.

****************************

“Celestia darn it Pony Parker! I don’t need photos of this weird sandpony! I need stories, intrigue, conspiracy, I need to sell papers! Now get out of my office until you find one of those things!” said Buried Lede

“Yes sir” the photographer replied with his head down.

Pony Parker had been having a rough couple of weeks at the Daily Hoof, no matter where he looked or how hard he tried he just couldn’t seem to find any interesting stories for the newspaper.

It was just average everyday monster attacks and the regular princess scandals and those had been done to death already.

His last attempt had involved him trying to catch the element of loyalty in a compromising position but a series of unfortunate events led to him being hospitalized with two broken legs.

He could tell Lede was just itching to fire somepony and it seemed his sight was set on poor Pony Parker, with no new stories from the photographer he had good reason to do so to.

“Face it Parker, you might as well pack up your stuff now, a good story isn’t just going to hit you upside the head.”

Right then, a letter smacked him upside the head. Plucking it out of his mane he quickly opened it up and began to read it, his eyes slowly widening and dreams of Ponlizer prizes danced in his head.

“MR.LEDE! MR.LEDE! I’VE GOT A STORY!” the photographer shouted as he burst back into his boss’ office, waving the paper around in his hooves.

“Well don’t just stand there and waste my time! Spit it out!” Buried Lead said, slamming a hoof onto the table.

Pony parker handed the stallion the letter and his stern expression grew blank as he absorbed the information. Once he was done he looked up back at his photographer.

“Parker, tell everypony they need to double time it to get tomorrow’s issue out as soon as possible. This is front page, award-winning material right here….” he said with the utmost seriousness in his tone.

*****************************

“And that’s who I sent all those letters to.” said Discord, pulling out an oversized pocket watch “oh would you look at the time, I’m late for tea with Fluttershy. Toodles!”

The god of chaos disappeared in a puff of cotton candy, leaving the remaining creatures to mull over what they had just been told.

Chrysalis was the first to speak, turning to her drake friend with a nervous frown “so on a scale of one to ten, how much trouble are we in?”

“I’d say we’re somewhere between eight and nine right now.” Spike replied, never breaking his thousand yard stare.

Chrysalis looked at Twilight “um, would you mind if I stayed here for a few days, or weeks? Just until this all blows over?”

“Separate beds. No, seperate rooms.” Twilight said bluntly.

“You can’t be-”

“SEPERATE ROOMS OR I TURN YOU OVER TO THE ROYAL GUARD!” Twilight boomed in the royal canterlot voice.

“Okay” the changeling queen squeaked out “not like that’ll stop us though.” Chrysalis added under her breath.

“TWILIGHT DID YOU HEAR?!” Starlight shouted as she burst into the room “SPIKE AND CHRYSALIS ARE- oh hi Chrysalis, I’m guessing Twilight already knows.”

“Unfortunately.” grumbled Twilight.

“Well I for one am happy for them! Now I won’t have to sleep with a baseball bat under my pillow anymore!” exclaimed the student of friendship.

“Actually if I were you I’d keep that there, I still hate you with a burning passion.” the changeling queen replied.

“Fair enough. Anyway we should probably start barricading the place for when the mob shows up right?”

“Let’s” Twilight said with a nod, walking off with her student, leaving Spike and his marefriend all alone.

The queen smirked. “Sooo, since they’ll probably going to be busy for awhile….do you want to pick back up where we left off?”

“So badly.” Spike replied.

Chrysalis dove forth and attacked Spike’s lips with her own, snaking her tongue around his in a passion, drool seeping out of their mouths. Spike grabbing a hold of her mane for dear life as she mashed their mouths together.

It felt so good to not have to hide their love anymore, sure they’d probably get a lot of flak from all sides with her being a criminal and him being a baby dragon but if people could accept Discord then by Celestia they’d accept Chrysalis.

‘Besides’ Spike thought as one of Chrysalis’ hooves traveled lower. ‘There is no way I’m giving up the sex.’

Author's Note

Just a little idea I came up with and decided to deliever to you, the readers......

I'm not sorry.