Loving Darkness

by Damaged

Chapter 4

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Crazy as it seemed, during the following week I managed to write more high-quality pages for my manuscript than I had when I sat at home and did it alone. Luna often pulled her I have an emergency! trick, and while the petitioner talked, I would zone out and write.

The oddest thing was the Royal Guards. They'd worked hard, apparently, to be regarded as furniture, but nothing escaped their gaze in the throne room. Once, when a petitioner had ranted a little more than usual during a cooling off time, two big stallions marched up on each flank of the pony and ordered them to calm down.

Dragged back to reality from my writing mode, I heard one of the guards repeat what the pony had said before they escorted him out.

What use is a princess that's never here?

"It makes us just as angry, sir." The words startled me. I'd never heard the guards speak so openly in the throne room before. A unicorn, the pure white stallion looked up at me with a determined expression. "We'll try to do a better job of keeping out the riffraff."

"No." I don't think any of us knew how long Luna had been awake for. "We are here for all ponies, not just the nice ones. Please instead inform all petitioners that I may be required from time to time and to be patient."

"We do already, Your Highness."

Luna sighed in a way that made me want to lean over and hug her, but that wouldn't be right in the throne room. Instead, I reached a hoof over to just touch her shoulder.

"Stygian?" Luna asked.

The words the pony'd spoken earlier still stung my sensibility, but I knew what she wanted to hear—the right thing. "Perhaps invite them back?"

"Please ask our guest if he'd like to return." Luna looked across to me and smiled. "Thank you, Stygian."


I'm not sure what was more exciting about my time with Luna, knowing that I could tell her anything and she'd weigh up the words on their merit, or that she would sincerely ponder everything I said. Even when she sat on the throne of Equestria, I could speak to her and it was Luna who spoke back.

It was morning, and Celestia had just raised her sun. Luna, of course, had lowered her moon in turn, but now she was sitting with me in Joe's as we munched on our dinner together. Half a salad sandwich floated in my magic while I took nibbles from it and read through my notes of the evening.

"Faster," Luna said.

I lifted my head from my correcting work and looked at her inquisitively. "Pardon?"

"You, me—us. I want things to move a little faster, if it's alright with you." Her face was unreadable, even after over a month of time spent with her for most of my ~~days~~ nights, I couldn't read Luna's face when she didn't want me to. It was like a shutter was up, and it was a deliberate one.

Swallowing my mouthful and turning my full attention to Luna, I asked, "What do you mean?"

Leaning across the table, Luna kissed me on the cheek. "Us."

It took my brain nearly four full seconds to catch up with my blush. I squirmed in place and fumbled to pick up the sandwich I'd dropped to my plate. When I couldn't focus enough to use my magic, I gave up and turned my attention to the source of the ultimate distraction. "Us. I haven't been—That is, I didn't—Let me start over."

Centering my focus, I closed my eyes and hoped Luna wouldn't kiss me again—though a little part of me sincerely wished she would. "Us. We couldn't exactly spend more time together, so you mean doing more together depth wise?"

"Depth is one way of putting it. We're comfortable together, I want to add cozy to comfort." Luna, it could be said, was learning in the ways of verbal sparring. "So if you'd like, starting tonight, I'd like to snuggle a little more."

Tonight. "S-Snuggle? Dream-snuggle?"

"Dream-snuggle." Luna lifted her shake closer and took a long, slow drink from it. "As a stallion."

A shiver ran all the way from my neck down my back and to—embarrassingly—my shaft. Parts of me had wanted this for longer than Luna and I'd been together, but other parts still got a little confused about her being a mare. The parts were not the same parts.

"Slow. We go slow," I said.

"Of course. As slow as you want to go."

"No. For both of us. Luna, this will be a big step for you—I think. I mean, have you ever…?" I wanted to look her in the eyes, but it was hard. She was so——and I was—

Luna drew my attention back to her by sucking at her shake, draining it and continuing to suck noisily for a moment. "In dreams, at all, or as a stallion?" She pushed her empty glass to the side. "The answers are yes, yes, and no."

Gulping, I focused on Luna's eyes. "Th-Then we'll both be doing something new, and we both need to communicate."

"I love the way you say yes, Stygian."

The rest of my sandwich was gone in two bites, I stood up, and began walking for the door quickly—a little stiffly (in more ways than one, I was lucky it was so early).

"So eager." Luna stood up and followed.

My home wasn't a home anymore. I hadn't slept there in nearly three weeks, and hadn't visited in two. We walked back to the castle together, each silent, but I caught her stealing glances at me while I was stealing glances at her. Mutual theft, as it were.

She giggled first as we slipped through the hallways of Canterlot Castle. There weren't a lot of twists and turns, but as I chased and was chased by her, I began to giggle too. I hadn't realized how much I wanted this until right then—when the door to our bedroom was visible.

"You're prancing!" Luna said from beside me. Truth be told, I had no idea I was, but it felt like the right thing to do. "I like it."

That's when she pranced, but Luna didn't prance like a mare for her stallion—her body was all alicorn strength and solidness, so she pranced with power in each jolting stride. My mind couldn't help but impose the memory of the stallion I curled up with each night—in our dreams—over her body.

"Stygian, you're showing a little excitement there," Luna said.

There was nopony else around, and for the first time with Luna I felt completely relaxed. "That's because I am excited."

Entering our rooms, we both headed for the only place more sacred than our time together in bed—the bath.

Within our suite, the sun did not invade. It was dark—lit only by soft magical lighting that cast long, soft shadows onto every wall, and made it even easier to think of Luna as masculine. We took our bath as slowly as ever—though more anticipating of sleep—in the huge, built-in bath that being royalty afforded.

I used my hooves to gently wash down Luna's coat and wings, while she did the same for me (though her task was both swifter an easier). It took me a week of practice to work out the basics of washing wings, but I liked to think that the happy little sounds Luna made while I was doing it meant I had some natural skill.

Climbing out of the water, we both used magic to dry off for bed after our near-silent bath.

"Still eager." Luna's mouth was curved into a smile, but she wasn't looking at my face. In the dim light of our bedroom, I could imagine she was already the stallion of my dreams. "You'll have to forgive my naivete, but while I've encountered stallions dreaming before, I have never participated."

I strutted, feeling my shaft thud up against my belly in my excitement. "That's okay. It—It'll be easier in a dream, anyway." I slipped sideways onto the bed, turning so my belly was pointing to her side—my shaft on display for her.

Luna's eyes were focused right where I intended them. She walked as if hypnotized and climbed up on the bed too. As her gaze flowed along my body toward my head, I smiled and met her lips in a kiss.


The kiss continued as her spell took hold and pulled us both into sleep.

We were on the same bed, in the same room, and in the same position. Luna lay across form me, and just his presence made me moan into the kiss.

A dark wing curled around my shoulder and pulled me closer to Luna until an intimate part of mine met an intimate part of his. I shuddered at the feel of our shafts pressing together, and my hips gave a little jerk of excitement.

Luna broke the kiss and looked into my eyes. "You're bigger." The words sounded breathless, husky in a deeper voice that suited him absolutely perfectly. I hadn't realized I was larger in the dream, but he wasn't wrong. "So what comes first?"

"You." I kissed his chin, his neck, and began laying kisses down his throat as I shifted and squirmed down the bed. When I got to Luna's chest, he started squirming in place. I nuzzled through the soft hair there, finding all the places that made him squirm and shift.

"Why is—oh goodness—why is that so sensitive?"

"The dream takes from both our minds—our experiences. You taught me that. So because I know that a stallion's chest is sensitive and arousing, the dream knows." As if to demonstrate, I nuzzle him again and got another gasp of surprise. "See?"

Luna looked down his body at me. "There is much I need to learn about being a stallion. Are you to teach me?"

Poking my tongue out I nuzzled and licked a between his forelegs until he whinnied in shock. "That's a yes, Luna."

"Then teach me, Stygian. Show me what it means to be a stallion."

His words, so pure, made my body react with a firmer-still stance to my shaft. Shimmying down the bed caused me to rub against the soft covers as my mind imagined my length somewhere else soft. But before I could go far enough to use my shaft, I found a prize few gay stallions would ever ignore.

Luna's shaft was magnificent. It stood proud of his sheath, the head glittering in the air slightly thanks to a few oozing drops of arousal that had leaked free. I leaned down to it and kissed the tip, my tongue catching one of those drops.

Rich and musky fluid stained my palate, flooding my mind with images and thoughts of what I could do with him. Careful of my teeth and horn, I tilted my head and aligned my mouth with the length of him. "Are you ready for some more sensations?"

"Are you going to—to take it all?" He sounded so excited and breathless. I could feel Luna's chest heaving above me while his hips shifted in anticipation.

"Luna, I couldn't hope to take all of this in my mouth." I kissed his tip again. "But I can sure try."

Just running the flavor of his excitement around my mouth had been slightly intoxicating, but it was nothing compared to pushing my head down and taking his flared end between my lips and into my mouth.

Luna stiffened—well, the rest of him stiffened too—as I closed my lips around him and gave a gentle suck.

More. I pushed down him, then slid back, down a little further, then back—training my throat and his endurance. There was so much of him to take, but I had severely misjudged the capacity of my larger-than-normal self's mouth and throat. Luna's medial ring was my target, and each time I drew back from it Luna let out a whinny of excitement.

With the thick, bulging ring that was the beginning of his sheath just outside my lips, I angled my head a little more and pushed down. Despite the sinking knowledge that I wasn't going to get it in my mouth, I managed to kiss the ring as I dipped down so far he blocked my breathing through my nose.

Holding there, I focused my attention through one eye on his heavy balls. Azure magic—my magic—began to glow around the two orbs as I held my breath and massaged him.

Luna squirmed and shifted on his back, seeming so big and vital as I gently attended to his sensitive body. The sounds he made only encouraged me to hold as long as my breath could last. When I finally pulled my lips up his length, Luna made a sound of deep appreciation that came from low in his diaphragm.

I worked my way back to his tip before I bobbed my head back down again. Up and down. Again and again. The heady musk of his shaft was intoxicating, but it didn't keep me from focusing on my breathing and his pleasure.

With more stamina than I would have expected from somepony getting their first blowjob, Luna reached a hoof down and gripped my horn where it slid along his belly.

More than okay with letting him guide me, I trusted Luna as he began to use my horn as a handle to stroke my mouth up and down his shaft. For a moment I wondered if he knew how much I enjoyed a little struggle, but was quickly drawn to my task as Luna began to tense up.

I smiled around him. Ready to feel his body release in orgasm, I closed my eyes and thrummed my tongue under his shaft. The response was immediate.

Luna released my horn and arched his back. He shouted wordlessly, and I felt the first of his seed rush into my mouth. I already knew I wouldn't be able to take all he had to offer—in any way, shape, or form—but trying was where all the fun was.

Each explosion of fluid into my mouth hit like a hurricane. I could have spent a thousand words—easily—to describe how good it made me feel to give this much pleasure, but instead I was caught up in the moment trying to gulp down as much as I could. Even then, struggling for all I was worth, I gasped just once and it caused his issue to start leaking from my mouth.

"S-Stygian!" Luna's voice was deep and mellow. I was still wrapped around him, but my hope of getting all his seed was dashed in the puddle forming on his belly—matting into both our fur.

Sliding my mouth slowly up his shaft, sucking it clean, I drew one last rush of liquid before pulling free of him. With Luna's semen staining one of my cheeks, I angled my head to look up along his body at him.

"This dream feels so real. It's imbued with your memories and feelings," Luna said. "Is this how it is all the time?"

I shook my head—I couldn't lie to him. "No. Of course not." I licked slowly across his belly, cleaning his fur. "I'm way out of practice."

Snorting a laugh, the contraction of Luna's belly caused another shot of his seed to shoot out and paint my other cheek. The urge to lick him all over was warring with another, deeper need. Leaning back and sitting up so that I was positioned right below him, I gazed into Luna's eyes. "More?"

Luna's smile caused his lips to part. "More would be nice. What did you plan?"

"I thought my position would make that obvious." Masculine urges were taking full control of me. I struggled not to just grab him and claim his rear on the spot.

"What are you waiting for?" His tone wasn't mocking, it was eager.

Dream worlds had one advantage in that if I could imagine something, it would exist. Practice had honed this skill for me at least a little, so that when I needed it, there was some slick lube in a bottle beside me on the bed.

Using my magic I smeared myself with the lube, but more was needed. Forming my magic into a pair of fingers, I used them to smear Luna's tailhole with lube. When I slid the digits inside him, I watched his eyes widen a little.

Leaning forward and keeping eye-contact with Luna, I pressed the tip of my slick shaft to his rear and shifted my weight to bear down.

"Stygian!" Luna's voice wasn't sharp, alarmed, or shocked—it was pitched low, hungry, and eager. He arched his head back against the bed as I pushed deeper into him, but his head snapped forward again to lock eyes with me. "Don't you dare stop."

"Hadn't—" I pushed forward, getting halfway to my medial ring, "—planned to. Hold on, I need to stroke back a little to get a run up."

I drew backwards until only my flared tip was in him, used my magic to work more lube around my shaft, and pushed forward with more intensity than before.

Luna clenched down on me, squeezed me like he had my shaft in a vice, but the lube did its job and I only stopped when my belly pressed to his.

Holding there—hilted all the way in Luna's rump—I explored the feeling of having him around me as his muscles fluttered and rippled. He was massaging me, though I doubted it was intentional. "Hold on to something."

As I pulled back, Luna tilted his head up and let loose a neigh of excitement. My return thrust caused him to cry out in a piercing shout of joy. I knew this would feel at least a little uncomfortable, but to look at Luna as I started to repeat my thrust I wouldn't have guessed it.

He squirmed as I grabbed his back legs and used the leverage to steady my pace into firm thrusts that lifted Luna's rear off the bed with each driving shove.

I felt more alive here, in this dream, than I had since Twilight Sparkle had brought us back from Limbo. Not even within the Pony of Shadows at the height of that terrible power did I feel this vital and real.

But there was more—I needed more. Wrapping my magic around Luna's shaft, I pumped his sensitive member with each of my own strokes. He looked like I'd struck him with lightning. Braced on the bed, Luna looked deep into my eyes as we both approached—and reached—climax.

I lunged forward, slamming my body against his and grabbing his barrel. Pulling us tight together, I shivered and humped my way through the single greatest sexual experience of my life. And throughout the ultimate moment, Luna wrapped his forelegs around my withers and pulled me down too.

"You look very different when you're like that. Powerful." Luna's voice dripped with desire and hunger.

I shivered, my shaft still giving an occasional spurt in reply to our relative movement. "You look amazing like that. I've never been with anypony like you, Luna. It's amazing."

"I thought that was meant to hurt?" He ran his hoof up my mane to my head and played with my right ear. "Anal sex. Not that I've talked to many ponies about it, but—"

Leaning a little further, I kissed Luna to quieten his embarrassment. "But nothing. And I bet it was still uncomfortable, but pain is for brutes and those who don't have dream lube."

"You had lubricant in your day?" Luna asked.

"We did. Stallions have been lovers for quite some time, though things have improved a lot since those days." The other wonderful thing I was learning about dreams was my refractory period is apparently non-existent—I felt ready to go all over again. "Would you like a turn on top?"

"I think I'm good like this for now, and with you like this." To punctuate his words, Luna clenched down a little around me—just enough so that I knew exactly what he liked about this situation.

The bond between us had deepened from this sharing. I'd been scared of the moment, but Luna simply was the stallion of my dreams. We fell into a true sleep after snuggling in each other's embrace for a while.


I yawned and stretched, only to find my movements hampered by a wing that seemed content to keep me pinned beside Luna. Having not worked out the trick of untangling oneself from a wing yet, I gave up and assented to my fate.

"The sun's still up," Luna said. "We could sleep for a little longer."

"Last day was—I can't even think of words to describe it. Being with you feels so right." With the wing pinning me in place, I decided to nuzzle up under it and look for spots to make Luna squirm.

The squirming, sadly, didn't happen. Instead Luna squeezed with her wing and pulled me a bit tighter against her. And it was definitely her again now. "To tell you the truth, Stygian, I've always preferred being intimate in dreams. This just… cements things that way. For us."

We cleaned ourselves up in the bath, I helped dry Luna's wings while she took care of getting my short coat neat. We each did our own manes and tails before heading to the throne room.

The throne room was busy. There was a dozen ponies all talking over each other, and Princess Celestia standing (on the floor with them) smiling pleasantly while letting them talk. She noticed us and I saw a hint of relief color her features before her smiling mask was back in place. "Everypony, please." When Princess Celestia spoke, everypony went quiet, but I could see they were ready to continue the moment the royal interruption was over. "Day court is at an end. You will have to take an hour to regroup and review your arguments while my sister prepares to hold sway."

A look of terror passed over the petitioners. They looked to each other, realized they'd run too long with their bickering, and then turned to Princess Celestia. There was no way out for them—they'd face Luna's justice. "Of course, Your Highness."

I managed to hold my giggle until the throne room was emptied of supplicants and the doors closed. What surprised me was Luna joined in with my laughter. "Did you see their faces?"

"I did!" Luna pointed a wing in the direction of the doors. "Sister, I'll bet you a three-tier cake that they find some valid excuse to not attend upon my court."

Princess Celestia looked between us and her face lit up brighter than the midday sun (something I hadn't personally seen for over a week). "You both look… revitalized. Sleep well?"

Luna and I looked to each other at the same time, and we both stalled our laughter into a pair of grins. "You know we always sleep the day away together," Luna said. "What about you, sister-dear, will you take my bet?"

"Of course not, Luna." Princess Celestia's eye (she only ever let one be visible at a time) seemed to dance a little. I had the most startling realization that she knew. "I know they won't come to your court. You are known to suffer foolishness not one bit, though I have heard there are some of our loyal vassals that exclusively seek your reigning time for this very reason."

Which we already knew. It was hard to ignore the same faces that would come to us with business during the hours most ponies slept. I followed along beside Luna as she started walking for the hallway at the back of the throne room.

"I had begun to recognize some repeat customers as it were. Sensible ponies all of them," Luna said.

When we passed into the hallway, and there was nopony else around, Princess Celestia cleared her throat. "Will there be foals on the way?" Her tone was as serious as an earthquake.

Luna and I froze in place, looked at each other, and burst into laughter.

Of the two of us, Luna managed to compose herself first to answer. "Sister, you can leave worrying about foals up to Stygian and I. How does your suit to find a stallion go?"

"Well—I mean—That's just—" Princess Celestia stumbled through her words. "Luna! That's beside the point!"

Her reply was so unjust I couldn't help myself. "Speaking on my own behalf, that is exactly the point. I saw the way that your new guard captain looks at you. You should ask him out." I feared I'd gone too far, but Luna's unflagging grin told me otherwise.

Besides, who was Celestia to poke her snout into our private lives but get her back up about us doing the same to her?

It took a fraction of a second for me to realize what I'd thought and how I'd thought it. For the first time ever I'd thought of Princess Celestia as just Celestia—just a pony. It seemed wrong, fundamentally, to consider her a pony. She'd lived over a thousand years and governed Equestria through some of the worst treats it'd encountered.

"You're right," Princess Celestia said. "Was he really looking at me?"

My mental processes went back and scrubbed princess from how I'd thought of her for the last few words. This wasn't Princess Celestia speaking—this was Celestia. "When you weren't looking, he was. He couldn't take his eyes off you."

It was hard to explain the difference in Celestia, but I'm a writer so that never stopped me before. She perked up. She stood a little straighter, and her eye kept trailing back toward the throne room.

"How about you ask him when we get back?" Luna asked. "Start out with something simple, sister. I happen to know a wonderful doughnut shop you could try."

Celestia giggled. Actually giggled. "That would be a good place to take him. Alright. I'll do it!" She and Luna strode out through the doors and onto the balcony.

It was impossible to avoid feeling a little fear at being so far up without a hint of a guardrail, but standing close by Luna's side helped me keep from showing it. The glow of Celestia's horn was lost at first in the light of her sun, but it was a stark reminder of what circles I trotted in these days that she seemed so calm and relaxed about moving an object that had almost killed groups of unicorns in the past.

Then Luna—as Celestia's golden glow ceased—burned with her cool blue magic that splashed out and over me. A shiver of excitement went through me as Luna lifted her moon into the night sky. I couldn't help but think of the moon and sun as belonging to them—after all, they controlled them. Possession was a large chunk of the law when it came to belongings.

"You're shivering, Stygian." Luna's words came from so close I almost jumped to the side. Thankfully her wing reached over me and pinned me to her warm body.

My voice almost failed me as I attempted to put my thoughts in order. "I'm not cold, or really that scared of the heights anymore. You're amazing, Luna."

That she was bigger than me—at least in real life—offset the awkwardness of being intimate with a mare. Our shared dreams made that intimacy a lot more acceptable, and even enjoyable. When she kissed me on the cheek, I tilted my head to accept the touch.

"You're quite amazing yourself. The awkward wreck you used to—" Luna cut herself short.

I rolled my eyes. "Luna, you've earned the right to be critical. I was an awkward wreck. I was lonely, pent-up, and had no idea how to fix what was wrong." It was a lot to admit, but who else could I admit that to but the pony I'd let into my life?

Luna let out a huff. "Well, in that case I'll admit my failings too."

"Nightmare Moon?" I asked.

"I'll see you both inside," Celestia said as she turned on the tiny balcony and started to head inside. "Or maybe not. It depends if he says yes."

We both paused to watch Celestia prance inside. When the doors closed we fell to a giggle again.

"No, Stygian, not Nightmare Moon. My sister, and my friend—Twilight Sparkle—cured me of that little tantrum. Nightmare Moon wasn't a failing, it was a symptom of what truly is." Luna stepped to the side a little to give me room. "I was lonely too. When nopony so much as acknowledges you exist, it's hard to enjoy your duty. Now, ponies know what I do, and there's even a celebration of how safe I've made the night, but I was still lonely.

"I had nopony to stand with me in the night, nopony to lay with me in the day, and nopony to tell all these things to. Twilight Sparkle doesn't understand this loneliness. The only pony who had any inkling of what I felt was my sister, and I couldn't turn to her like this."

She turned to me alright. She turned and put her hoof under my chin, tilted my snout up to her, and kissed me. This was not the kind of kiss that foals should see. I leaned up into her touch and she shoved forward and down just as firmly. One of her wings curled around the side of my face and I lifted a forehoof to rub her chest.

Snorting, Luna laughed with her lips still touching mine. "I remember what that would feel like as a stallion."

"Good, I hope?" My eyes were fixed on hers, I couldn't have broken my attention away if I'd tried.

"Your touch inspired an echo of that feeling. Yes, it's very good." The hunger in Luna's words made a shiver of excitement travel up and down my spine. Never before in my life had a mare stirred me like this—but Luna was hardly just a mare.

I drew circles on her chest with my hoof and felt her lean into it. Finding male erogenous zones on Luna was a delight I'd have to investigate more, but later. "We need some breakfast before court."

"Really? You don't want to stay out here a little longer and make-out?" The way Luna said it made me want it, and I think she knew that. "But you're right. Besides, we could take our time with breakfast and play a little more."

Going as far as we had gone during the dream, I felt—I felt more relaxed being affectionate with Luna. There was ice broken, perhaps even a tableau we had surpassed, that made it easier to relax and be intimate with her as well as him.

It took another kiss before I managed to persuade her that going inside and getting back to our duties was more important than nuzzles.

Well, nothing was more important to me than Luna's nuzzles, but I wasn't the only pony that needed her attention. We turned together and headed back inside. We spared anypony from seeing more of our affection by focusing on our food and talking about the complete and utter lack of a senior Royal Guard in the room.

There were more than a few smiles among the Guardponies that were present. When the princesses were happy, everypony was happy.

"Who do we have first?" Luna asked, and thus our night started.


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