Equestria was the kind of place where an earthling would fit in relatively easily. The creatures that inhabited it – ponies – were actually quite similar to humans in their language, architecture, and customs. A visit there might not be much more jarringly different than travelling to a foreign country. One difference, however, that few people from Earth would find all that relatable, was the fact that every female of the pony species had a penis.
These are some of their stories.
"H-harder!" Big Mac cried, a sheen of sweat matting his coat.
"A-Ah'm tryin', but if it ain't gonna fit, it ain't gonna fit. It's... too tight," said a panting Applejack from atop him.
"It'll fit. It has to!" he replied, his desperate need showing in his eyes.
With a grunt of effort, she pressed harder, making the stallion groan in discomfort.
"Maybe if we use some butter around the edges or somethin'?" he offered.
Applejack stopped and caught her breath, considering the idea. "That might actually work," she said and climbed off of her older brother. She rushed out of the barn and into the farmhouse's kitchen, grabbing a small plastic tub of butter from the refrigerator, then quickly returned. "Alright, Ah got th– hey! What in tarnation are ya doin'?"
Big Mac was presently trying to press his face through the widened arch of his yoke that was sitting on the floor.
"Ah may have gotten a bit impatient," he said shyly, turning his head away as he stood up.
"Well, don't worry, Ah got the butter, and this should help get it on ya."
Applejack scooped out some of the smooth and greasy butter with a hoof then applied it liberally to the inside edges of the large wooden yoke. Satisfied, she picked it up and stood over Big Mac.
"Ready to try again?" she asked. He nodded with a small smile. She positioned it in front of his face and got herself into position. "Alright, ready... and push!" They both grunted as Applejack pressed the yoke and Big Mac pressed back, trying to fit his face into the giant wooden horseshoe.
With a satisfying pop, he was in again. "Ahhh," he said in relief as it slid easily into its familiar place on his neck.
"Ah swear, yer still growin' or somethin', Big Mac. Seems like every year it's harder to get back on," said Applejack.
"Eeyup," came the simple reply.
"Anyway, let's get back to work. Those trees ain't gonna buck themselves."
"Eeyup."
Pinkie Pie sat on the grass with an exaggerated frown marring her normally cheery face.
Rainbow Dash, flying overhead, saw her friend and landed next to her to see what the problem was.
"Hey, Pinkie, something wrong?" she asked.
"Yeah..." Pinkie replied. Her frown deepened. "My balls hurt."
"Oh, yeah, I know how that goes. I tend to really get into it with the other Wonderbolts, and my balls can really sting."
"Well yeah, but yours are supposed to. My balls are meant to be fun! Not painful," Pinkie lamented.
"Well, wanna tell me what happened?"
"I... I threw one to Pip, you know him, right? The little Trottingham colt. Yeah, anyway, it hit him right in the face and it made him cry! I felt soooo bad!" Pinkie said, seemingly on the verge of tears herself.
"Was it one of those red bouncy ones? Honestly, maybe Pip is just a wimp. When I throw snowballs, I pack them extra tight and if the Wonderbolts can't handle it, then too bad!" Rainbow said with a devious grin.
Pinkie gasped. "You can't just call him a wimp! That's mean!"
"Okay, okay, you're right. Sorry about that. If it'd help you feel better, I could play with your balls. Even if they hit me in the face, I'll be fine."
Pinkie smiled a small and hopeful smile. "You know what? That sounds fun. Let's go."
"Spike!" Twilight called. The little dragon appeared in the doorway immediately.
"Whaddaya need, Twilight?" he asked.
"Can you come here? I need help with something," she said.
"Sure." The little dragon padded over and noticed his friend's horn was glowing brightly.
"Okay, this is a little embarrassing, but can you reach between my legs and grab my pe–" Twilight said, then coughed.
Spike patted her back and smiled, letting her recover.
"Sorry," she continued. "Just reach down between my legs and grab my pen. I dropped it down there and I can't cancel this spell to pick it up myself."
Spike had to lift his arm over her lower leg that was on the chair, and reached down between her hind legs, fumbling about blindly. His claw landed on something hard that did not feel like a pen.
"Spike! Not that! That's my co–" Twilight coughed again.
His claw retracted from it and he blushed, embarrassed. "Whoops!"
"Ugh, stupid cold. That was my cough medicine. Make sure you don't spill it," she said.
Trying again, he searched the area with a claw, this time feeling something long, wet, and squishy.
"Hey! Don't touch my di–" More coughs cut off the alicorn. And once again, Spike pulled his claw away.
"Sorry, Twilight, I can't see!" he explained.
"It's okay, Spike, it was just my dill pickle that I'm having for lunch after I'm finished with this spell. I don't like anypony touching my food, is all."
He nodded and tried once more. His claws found a thin feather, and he grasped it, pulling it up from the unseen depths of the chair between his friend's legs. "Ah ha!" he said. "Here it is." He placed it on the table next to her.
"Thanks, Spike, you're the best ass–" she said, coughing, but quickly recovered. "Whew, being sick sucks. Anyway, you're the best assistant I could ask for."
Fluttershy was stroking her cock.
It had been rather shy, and had only just come out to play.
"There, there, little guy. Everything is alright. I'll take good care of you."
The cock made soft crooning noises as it was comforted by her loving hoof.
"Mama Fluttershy will always be there for you," she said softly. She hummed a warm and serene tune to her cock, calming it until it fell asleep in her lap. She gently picked it up and set it on a warm nest of soft hay before leaving the chicken coop.
Simple moments like these made her really appreciate her life with the animals.
Rarity stood in the middle of the busy market, ponies walking past her and going about their business. She had a small, content smile on her face as she looked around.
"I have a penis," she said to nopony in particular.
And life in Ponyville went on.
Author's Note
Credit for the basic idea goes to An Intricate Disguise.
