It's all behind me

by Inquisitive_Duck

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Sweetie Belle, Sad, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Rainbow Dash, Rarity
Length: 1051

Rarity goes through her day, everything is fine, everything is perfect and Rarity isn't lying to herself at all. Everything is behind her.

Rarity goes through her day, everything is fine, everything is perfect and Rarity isn't lying to herself at all. Any evidence to the contrary is fabricated. A lady never cries. A lady never breaks down.
A lady could use some help.
Everything isn't behind her. Not yet.

An experiment in writing by a cranky musician.
I'm not a writer so if you have a suggestion to fix this thing, I'm all ears. Thanks and have a good one.

Published 2019-02-14 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-14 22:00:01 UTC

A standard day

Get up, take a shower, keep moving, don’t think.

Brush mane and tail.

Apply makeup.

Brush coat.

Shower.

Reapply makeup.

Shower.

I absolutely must look perfect. Elegant and refined, I had a bit of a hiccup earlier, but that’s behind me.

It’s all behind me.

Go down stairs, ignore the door on the left.

Maybe I could go back up? Open the door and sit, just. No. Not again. It’s behind me.

It’s all behind me.

Go to the kitchen, look through the fridge, nothing. Again. Check the cabinet, it’s fine. I should start a diet soon anyways. Besides it’s Wednesday, I have my picnic with… It’s Wednesday I have lunch with Twilight. I take a glance toward the clock, none of the hands are moving. I groan, remembering I was supposed to grab the batteries when I went to get groceries.

Open the curtain, blink the sun out of my eyes, it’s probably about noon. I should get ready for lunch with Fluttershy. I climb the stairs ignoring that door, now on my right. I really should clean up before lunch.

Weird, my towel is wet. I guess I didn’t change towels when I showered last night. I shrug and toss the towel in the basket with the others. I need to do the laundry again it seems. Grab a fresh towel, hop in the shower, gotta look perfect, a lady never stops looking her best.

A knock on the door.

I’m busy, they can come back later.

A second knock.

I swear that the sign still says closed.

A third.

I quietly descend the stairs as a fourth and fifth knock ring out. I can hear voices on the other side.

Peek through the window, piercing magenta eyes meet mine.

Maybe she didn’t?

“Rarity?”

She did. I open the door a lady never keeps guests waiting.

I smile and happily great them. “Applejack, and Rainbow, as pleased as I am to see both of you I must be on my way, I have lunch with Pinkie Pie.”

“Rares?”

“Yes Applejack?”

“It’s almost 8.”

I pause. I look to the sky, sure enough the sun is beginning to set. Rainbow kicks lightly at the ground, seeming nervous.

“You were supposed to have lunch with AJ and I, and you missed lunch yesterday too, are you okay?”

I blink, trying to think of an excuse.

“Oh… of course Darling! I must have gotten lost in my orders again! So sorry my dear.”

Applejack tips her hat, her green eyes meeting my own. I swallow, we must be due for some rain soon, it would explain why my throat is this dry.

“Rares, you’ve been closed for almost a month… We, the girls and I that is. We’re worried.”

Rainbow nods quietly speaking up, “We know it’s gotta be hard, since Sweetie…”

I cut her off. “Since Sweetie went to visit our parents?”

Applejack looks at me sadly, “Rares…”

“Sweetie Belle is visiting our parents and will be home at any moment I simply must get ready for her!”

I slam the door and retreat inside.

I don’t hear them shouting.

I don’t hear them knocking on the door.

They aren’t there.

The conversation is behind me.

It’s all behind me.

I go upstairs, stop in front of the door, and I stare.

A sign, crooked on the doorframe, I reach up and straighten it. A lady is always clean. Her things always perfectly aligned. I open the door.

I sit on the ground.

She’ll be back soon.

It’ll be behind me soon.

It’ll all be behind me.

So why am I still crying?

A hoof wraps around me, Applejack doesn’t say a word, just holds me close.

“Does it get better?”

I don’t need to look at Applejack to know she’s crying too.

“No sugar, it never gets better. It just gets easier. The tears come out less, and you stop thinking about what could have been, and start remembering what was. You’ll remember the good and the bad, but you’ll remember. You look back and smile with tears in your eyes, and the crying don’t seem to hurt as much.”

“I miss her.”

“We all do Rares. It never gets better, but it doesn’t need to, cuz it’ll be behind you one day.”

We sit there for a while longer, Applejack’s hooves wrapped around me, as we sit in the dust of an unused room. Toys still littered across the ground, the bed still unmade. The moonlight filtering through the windows, and gone no longer seems like the right word. Gone means forgotten, and I refuse to forget.

Sunlight replaces the moonlight, and I jump awake to feel a warm body still holding me. A small smile spreads across my face, my eyes are puffy and red, my mane and tail are in shambles, but none of that matters. I shake Applejack awake.

“Do you want to grab breakfast? I haven’t seen Pinkie Pie in quite a while.”

Applejack stares at me for a moment, opens her mouth and closes it again.

“Are ya sure, you don’t want to clean up first?”

“Oh heavens of course I’m going to clean myself up first.” I strike an elegant pose, flipping my tangled mane out of my face. “A lady always looks her best!”

Applejack stares and starts laughing, I attempt to hold my elegant composure, but soon fail. The both of us are rolling around on the ground laughing. Applejack stands up and pulls me to my hoofs.

“Come on Rarity, let’s go get cleaned up, I think you have more than earned a day at the spa.”

I smile, and we start walking out the door. I stop and turn back for a moment, and Applejack turns to me, concern written across her face.

“Goodbye Sweetie Belle.”

With that I close the door and begin walking to the spa.

Everything isn’t better.

Nothing will ever be the same.

Nothing is behind me yet.

But that’s okay.

It’ll be behind me soon.

As long as I have ponies to help me when I inevitably fall to ground in an undignified mess.

It’ll be behind me soon.

Author's Note

Sorry about this thing. Just a short mess I wrote instead of studying for an ethics exam.