Saints Row Online: Equestria Edition

by CrimsonFucker

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Science Fiction, Profanity, Fluttershy, Adventure, Violence, Crossover, Sex, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Anthro
Length: 7513

Ponies, Saints Row, and VR? What more could you ask for? A Pinch of human interference? Maybe...

Saints Row: Online, a game Michael "Lucifer" Green knows well, being one of the few players to have everything the game has to offer post the game's shut down, is getting another chance to relive his glory days in the revitalization of SR:O. With new allies and enemies new and old, will he be able to keep his cool and regain his glory, or will the past come up to meet him in the messiest way possible?

Find out in Saints Row Online: Equestria Edition!

This is my first story here, criticism is much appreciated!

Published 2019-02-14 21:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-14 21:00:01 UTC

Welcome to the Era

Saints Row Online: Equestria Edition

Crimson: Cracks his neckOn to this one? Let's not waste anymore time!

Saints Fluttershy: Fucking finally! My come up-

Crimson: Pokes her nose, then places the same finger on her lipsNot yet Flutters, not yet.

Saints Fluttershy: Slaps Crimson's finger off her lips, a Much, Much colder form of The Stare is aimed at CrimsonWHAT DO MEAN NOT YET, YOU BUCKING CUNT!? MY COME UP STORY HAS BEEN IN WRITING HELL BECAUSE OF YOUR LAZYNESS!

Crimson: Gives her a look of annoyanceI can send you back into your world, and bury your tale in the vault. Want that?

Fluttershy: Enters Crimson's OfficeU-u-um... h-h-hello? M-mister C-c-crimson? You in here?

Crimson: Yeah, I'm in here Flutters.

Saints Fluttershy: Her Stare WorsensWhat the buck is the other them and myself doing here!?

Crimson: You honestly think that you and them are the only ones here?

Lala: Comes into Crimson's officeCrimson? You in-Sees both Fluttershy'shere?

Crimson: Yeah, give me a second, AHEM! I, Crimson, do not own either The Saints Row or My Little Pony Stories, or Licenses. Let's get this show on the road!

Saints Fluttershy: I'm going to kill him.

Crimson: Get in line sweetheart.

“Well, shit.”: Normal Speech, In-game Speech

'Fire when ready.': In-game Text, Writing

“Damn you.”: Thoughts

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!”: Royal Canterlot Voice

*What the hell just happened?*: Radio Speech, Sound Effects

Chapter 1: Welcome to the Era

“So that's it then?” A tall, skinny brunette male asked the smaller black haired man behind the desk.

“Yeah, it is. The restaurant is shutting down, and everyone is being let go.” The man said, “We've held out for as long as we can, and we don't have the money to stay in business.”

The Brunette ran a hand through the mop of hair on his head and growled, “Can't believe this place is shutting down only after a year of service.” He looked back through the door window and saw chairs propped up on a bar counter and tables with pull out chairs on the tables.

“We can't keep up with the payments, I've tried talking with the suits to keep this place running but they don't see this as a, 'Profitable Investment'!” he said in a mocking tone, but the Brunette could tell that the mocking was hiding a hefty pain.

“Come on Robert,” The Brunette said, “You couldn't help the... bad luck that happened to you.”

“Mike,” Robert said, “There is bad luck, and there is corporate sabotage.”

Mike shook his head and said, “Sure Robert, sure.”

Robert looked at Mike and sighed, “I have one last thing for you,” he then opened a cabinet in the desk and pulled out a tablet, and pressed a few keys on it.

Mike heard a mechanical chirping noise coming from his pocket and pulled out his phone, turning it on he saw that Robert just deposited over a thousand dollars into his bank account.

Mike looked back at Robert in disbelief and said, “If you're giving me over one grand, shouldn't you pay the suits with it?”

Robert gave Mike a look that said “Don't question me!” then said nonchalantly, “This place isn't going to be mine in an hour, so I gave you a portion of store assets.”

Mike looked at Robert with annoyance and said, “That is just like you Robert.” Mike then turned and was about to leave the room, when Robert said, “Mike? Thank you.”

Mike opened the door, and left Robert's office without a word. As Mike made his way through the restaurant to the front door, a few memories passed him by. Customers birthdays, Proposals, Just turned twenty one parties, the works.

Mike walked out the front door and turned to the restaurant for one final look. “Little Joey's Bar'n Grill, gonna miss this place.” Mike said, and made his way back to his apartment.

The trip was taken by taxi to his apartment in Miami, as soon as Mike got back to his aparment complex, he made his way up to his floor and room. Four floors up, three across on the left. On the door was a note, it read,

'To my roommate, You'll be happy to know that I have fucked off to my girlfriend's house. By the way, I've taken my share of the rent for this month, have fun ya cunt.'

Mike crumpled the note in his hand and pulled out the key to the newly single occupant apartment.

As soon as Mike entered the front door, the smell of decaying trash assaulted his nose, making his eyes start to water as he was forced to cover his nose with his hand. He closed the front door and made his way to the kitchen and the smell worsened. He then looked at where the trash was and saw that it was... wriggling. Mike had a feeling that his roommate left a ton of old trash in the garbage, and by the look and smell of it, a goodly portion of it had maggots. Mike rolled up his sleeves and went to work purifying his trash.

Almost two hours later, Mike laid down on the couch and groaned. Not only had his roommate left bugs for him to clean up, he also had to scrub down, disinfect and clean the affected area. Mike looked over to his roommate's old bedroom, honestly not looking forward to cleaning up the plates, trash, and junk in the room.

Mike's stomach then growled and he realized that it was possibly time for a form of dinner. Mike thought to what was in the fridge, and shuttered, Three day old pizza, Chinese food, at least one sub sandwich, and multiple bottles of beer. Mike sighed, went over to the fridge and pulled out the pizza, popped open the box and pulled out a slice of cold meat lovers. Mike placed the pizza box on the counter, and took a bite of his slice.

Twenty minutes later, Mike had finished off the pizza and threw the box out. He looked to his roommate's old room and sighed, “Might as well get this over with.” Mike thought and walked over to the door to the other bedroom. He braced for what smells would assault him, or what he would find, and threw open the door.

…

…

…

Mike's nose... wasn't dead. He looked through the door, and was in disbelief at what he saw. The room was in pristine condition, no stains on the walls, no toxic smells, no dirt, no dust, and even the bed looked like it was just bought and smelled like lemons.

Mike was expecting to find something wrong and searched the room from top to bottom. Nothing was wrong with it. He didn't buy it for a second and started searching the closet for old dishes and trash, though he couldn't find anything wrong. Mike was in utter disbelief, due to the fact that his ex-roommate was an utter pig, leaving trash, dirt, and dishes in his room. He was about to leave the room, when he noticed a package on the edge of the bed, he picked it up and saw that it was addressed to him. The package was wrapped in paper, and there was a letter to Mike on it, only it didn't have his real name on the back, it had a Character Name of 'Lucifer' on it, an old familiar name that he had forgotten about. Mike was conflicted, he and his roommate were not on good terms, they had always argued with one another, pissed each other off with their antics and quirks, and Mike would always have to pay for both of their rent. Yet, his roommate had gotten him a gift, but he never gave him anything expensive or real, anything in the “Gift” category, so to see a box on the bed was a bit... odd, and one thought swirled through his mind, “How the hell does he know this name? A name I haven't used in years?”

Mike looked at the letter's front and back, nothing was out of the ordinary with it. He took an experimental sniff, hoping his roommate hadn't pissed in it, thankfully it didn't smelled like urine or feces, if anything it smelled nice, like fresh paper and... roses? He proceeded to then reach into his pocket and pulled out a pocket letter opener, cutting the envelope open he found the same screen name on the back of the letter, like the envelope. Mike then flipped it open and found elegant writing in cursive on the paper, a writing style his roommate never wrote in.

It read,

'To: Michael 'Lucifer' Green'

'From: Nightmare Industries, We Three Idiots, & Deep Silver/Volition'

'You've been chosen to participate in the revitalization of Saints Row: Online!'

'Inside this container will be the required items to participate in Beta of Saints Row: Online VR. We can not stress enough that we at Nightmare Industries fought tooth and nail to gain ownership of the Saints Row: Online Servers. We would love to have an experienced player such as yourself partake in the beta of one of Humanity's greatest games ever.'

'As this letter says, the gear to be able to run and play the game is inside the box this letter came with. We call the gear, Saints Goggles. Just slip them on, and we'll see you in there.'

There was a name signed in cursive on the bottom,

'Luna Umbra, CEO of Nightmare Industries'

Mike had a mixture of emotions go through his mind, someone was reviving SRO, but with Virtual Reality? He then thought about it for a second then thought to himself, “Okay, a few things don't add up. One, didn't the developers at We Three Idiots close the servers? Two, who is Nightmare Industries? Three, when the hell did my roommate get a job at a programming firm, and better yet, when did he ever have time for programming and reviving old games?” Mike slowly looked over the box on the bed and as his curiosity grew, more questions popped into his skull. He slowly peeled the paper off the box and saw that the underneath the paper was a small Black cherry wooden crate, a lot more expensive than his roommate could ever afford since he didn't have a stable job. He slowly cracked it open, expecting a horrid smell and was surprised when he saw on the inside was a velvet red cloth, a set of purple goggles with what looked to be a helmet covering the head. Mike said muttered, “What in the fucking hell...?” He saw the Saint Goggles and what looked to be a Mini USB dongle in the case as well. Thing was, the content inside the box looked to be in pristine condition, no pieces were cracked, broken, or damaged in any way, shape or form.

Mike made his way back to his room and closed the door. After turning on his computer, he sat on his bed and took out the Helmet/Goggles and examined it. It was a dark purple, and had small Fleur-de-lis designs on the helmet and goggles. The moment Mike's computer turned on, he booted up Steam and strapped the Saints Goggles on his head. All he could see was darkness, then a set of red text came up that said,

'Power up the Saints Goggles now. The power button is on the back of the Saints Goggles.'

Mike felt around on the back of the goggles, when he ran into a piece of the helmet that jutted out. He pressed down on it and his view turned a blinding white. Mike attempted and failed to shield his eyes until his sight came back. When it did, a black popup with white text in the popup appeared with no way to close it. It said,

'Plug the Game Dongle into the helmet, the helmet will scan for a computer to comply with.'

Mike grabbed the dongle, not knowing where to plug it in. A 3D Model of the Saints Goggles appeared in front of him, it flipped to the left and a small USB entry port was exposed to him.

Mike growled and said, “Wouldn't a disk be easier? Although... there is a lot of physical data in the game.” then plugged the dongle into the entry port.

The moment the dongle was put in, a multitude of codes passed his sight, though as soon as the codes appeared, they vanished. Mike then saw a download bar appear, and it started downloading. The closer it got to the 100% mark, the slower it got. “Must it always lag when it gets closer to the end?” Mike groaned impatiently.

As soon as Mike said that, the bar jumped from eighty five percent, to ninety seven percent in under twenty seconds, “I take it back, someone must be listening.” Mike said in shock.

Another minute later, the game and goggles was connected to Mike's computer in his room. He heard his computer running harder to update Saints Row: Online. The update only took a few minutes to download, and was ready to go as soon as it filled the bar. Mike pressed down on the mouse button and fired up Saints Row: Online.

Mike then saw text that said, 'Lay on a flat surface, then say “Saints Gear, boot up!” to start Saints Row: Online VR.'

Mike lightly laughed at the obvious reference and said, “At least Nightmare Industries has a sense of humor.”

Mike laid down on his bed and said loudly, “Saints Gear, boot up!” Almost immediately, he felt himself sink into the bed. “SHIT! If this turns into the Nightmare on Elm Street Dragged into the Bed Kill, I'm gonna flip my shit!” Mike yelled.

Thankfully, Mike sunk through the bed and wasn't shredded into liquid, but he was falling, and falling fast. Mike screamed as he fell, not being a big fan of heights, but his falling slowly began to decrease in speed. Mike rolled as he landed and groaned, he rolled for a good few feet on the wireframe ground. “Okay,” Mike groaned as he got up, “That fucking hurt.” dusting himself off.

Mike looked around and saw that everything, even his own body, was wireframe, in a very pinkish purple color. “User! Input a Username, Password, and Character name.” A soft, gentle female voice said, and a text box with a keypad appeared in front of him. Mike grinned and put in his previous in-game Saints Row: Online identification. As soon as he pressed the accept button, a large red X appeared on the text box and keypad. The voice growled in what Mike could realize was a male's voice, the voice yelled at him, “User! That Character name, and Username are already in use! Are you trying to pull a fast one on us!?”

Mike rolled his eyes and said, “That's because it's MY Username and Character name, idiot, and could you please bring back the female voice, she seemed a lot nicer.”

Mike could hear the voice growl as it switched back to the female's voice, albeit, she seemed annoyed, “Okay player, if you are really Lucifer, you will answer the three standard recovery questions we have, and you can not cheat!”

Mike smirked and said, “Okay, hit me!”

“Question one! What gang was Lucifer apart of?” The male voice asked.

Mike laughed at the impossibly easy question and said, “I ran with the Third Street Saints, and don't you forget it!”

The male voice growled and muttered to the female voice, “I knew we should've chosen a different question!” Mike heard the male scream in pain and the female say, “Try coming up with something better next time! Okay next question, Which fighting styles did Lucifer prefer over all twenty.”

Mike laughed again and said, “It depended on my mood, but there were four I frequented, the S.T.A.G Judo Style, the Samedi Jiu-Jitsu Style, the Ronin Karate Style, and the Luchadore Wrestling Style. Does that answer the second question?”

The male voice was silent for a full minute, then Mike heard, “Damn, do we have to ask the last question? It looks like this is actually Lucifer.” The female groaned and said, “Yeah, we need to ask him the last question, Player?

“Ask away, the quicker the better.” Mike said.

“What clan was Lucifer apart of?” The female voice asked.

“Heh, too easy, I founded The NLR in SRO, or The New Lunar Row.” Mike said.

Mike heard the male groan and the female giggle, “Again,” The male voice muttered, “The questions are too damn easy.”

Mike saw the text box lose the red X and change to a green check mark. He felt his in-game avatar's skin appear on his wireframe one, tan white skin covered his wireframe one, then he felt the character's tattoos burn themselves into his skin. He felt the first one being burnt into his left upper arm, he looked at it and saw that it was a busty succubus wearing only the tiniest bikini top, covering only the nipples, her wings were covering her lower torso and crotch. The next tattoo was on the same arm, on the wrist, it was a tribal tattoo with a yin and yang symbol on the vein entering the palm. Mike then felt the burning sensation on his upper back. He felt the tattoo burning a pair of wings into his back, then a crescent moon facing up, then a Fleur-de-lis where the star would normally go, finally, the letters N L and R below the Fleur-de-lis but above a crescent moon facing forwards.

He looked down at himself and saw that there was no pixels blocking his genitalia from being seen, Mike was mildly disappointed and it kind of felt like the developers at Nightmare Industries took out a bit of character from the game, but he couldn't do anything about it, whatever was added or what was taken away was what Nightmare Industries wanted. With a heavy sigh he felt his last set of clothes appear on his person. He looked down, and first saw a black tank-top with the design of a purple skull on the front, then he felt the comfortable feeling of purple and gold striped boxers appear on his lower torso, covering his waist, pelvis, and ass. He then felt a Heavy Swat Vest appear on his person, decked out in purple, gold and black. The next thing he felt was a set of ripped short jeans on his legs, decked out in a dark blue. Finally, he felt knee high socks and shoulder high arm warmers appear on his other limbs, the ones on his arms were striped, with darker and lighter blue, the socks were also striped, the colors were of a royal purple and gold.

Mike suddenly felt his eyes start to sting, and he tried to rub his eyes to get the stinging to stop. That's when he started to see a bit more color in the wireframe, the ground turning a solid asphalt black, that's when Mike realized he was standing on the-

He heard a loud honking noise of a car and saw a blinding set of lights right on top of him, Mike could do nothing else but brace for impact. Mike felt the car run him over as he went over the hood, over the roof and into the air for a few seconds. Mike landed back on the ground, painfully, and rolled onto his side. “Oh my god! Are you alright!?” The male NPC yelled from his car, stopping but not getting out.

Mike got back up and rushed over to his car door, opened it and threw him out, “Get the fuck out bitch!” Mike yelled and stood by the door. The male NPC got up and pulled out an M9 bayonet, holding it like a baton above his head. Mike saw it and grinned manically, reaching behind him and pulling up his weapon wheel, ready to open up some lead punishment into this foolish NPC who dared to run him over...

Only to see nothing but his fists in the weapon wheel, Mike's grin faltered for only a second, before he pulled his hand back and the NPC swung the knife at him. Mike grabbed the male's knife wrist, and turned the blade on the NPC, stabbing him between the ribs and into his lung. The male let go of the knife and started to cough up blood. He then grabbed the hilt of the bayonet and yanked it out of the NPC's side, and proceeded to drive the knife into the male's left temple before viciously ripping it out the front of the man's skull, blood spewing from the gushing head wound, spraying Mike in a fountain of crimson liquid. Mike shoved the now dead male away from him and onto the ground, he then heard a female scream and saw a woman NPC on the other side of the car, Mike then saw her pull out a 45 pistol, and proceeded to open fire on Mike. He then proceeded to slide over the hood of the car, and stab the bayonet through the woman's wrist.

She dropped the pistol and Mike caught it in his free hand, aimed it at her forehead and pulled the trigger, causing the familiar splattering sound and animation of blood to activate. Mike pulled the bayonet from her wrist, coating it in even more blood as she dropped to the ground as well. Mike then looked around at where he actually was in the general area. What he saw was a massive college campus and realized he was in the Mid-Western Stillwater portion of the map. He then proceeded to get his bearings and finally see the HUD in his vision. In the upper right side of his vision he saw a circle with a pistol in the middle, a red and yellow half circle on the top, with the red half circle at least ten percent missing.

“Must've been from just getting run over, and the... rough landing.” Mike thought, then put his arm back behind him and his weapon wheel appeared in the lower left side of his vision, with a fist in a knife hand position in the top slot, the bayonet in the Melee slot in the upper right side, and the pistol, now named the Kobra 10 in the right slot. Mike looked at the pistol slot and he felt the bayonet disappear from his left hand. Mike saw the pistol in the circle, the number on the left side of the slash symbol seemed to be the clip, while the larger number on the right was the ammo counter, the pistol only had two bullets in the clip while he held around thirty two bullets in ammunition. He proceeded to unload the clip, catching it in his free hand, placing it on his person, and pulling another one from... somewhere on his person. Mike then saw the clip counter in the circle switch from two bullets, to nine bullets, “One in the chamber, eight in the mag,” Mike thought, “Enough to cause a bit more damage in the meantime, I really need to head to an ammu- FRIENDLY FIRE! NOT AMMU-NATION! This isn't GTA.”

Mike looked at the car he just slid over and realized it was a very beat up and dirt caked forest green HammerHead Muscle car. He looked it over for a second and said, “It's gonna need a tuneup, and a Weaponization job.” He then saw his rank come up in the Upper left corner of the screen, and almost dropped the pistol in utter shock, his rank was no longer maxed out, instead, it was rank zero slash one. Mike felt a cold sweat roll down his back, if his rank was reset, did that mean... “No, no, it can't be, they wouldn't do that.”

Mike pulled out his character's phone and when he saw the amount of money he was running with, he proceeded to mentally shit a brick. Mike was accustomed to seeing at least seven digits, but it was dropped to at most, five, and a pitiful five digits it was. The amount of money he saw on the top of the phone was $10,000. Mike felt cold, if this was what he had now, what else was taken from him? He then saw new text on the phone, Mike pressed down on the texting app on the phone and saw a new message addressed to him from, “MoonButt35? Who names themselves that?”

Mike opened the text message and saw that the MoonButt Person had sent him a text, it read,

'To Player: Lucifer Bloodlust.

I'm pretty sure I got this right, If this is Lucifer, text me back. If this isn't Lucifer, just ignore this text.'

Mike was conflicted, was this a Beta player messaging with him, a developer contacting him, or an automatic message? Mike decided to message back, saying to himself, “This better not fuck me over.”

'I'm guessing this is, MoonButt35? What do you want?' Mike texted to MoonButt35.

The message back came to him in record speed, 'HUZZAH! You got our message!'

'Yeah, yeah, what do you want, and make it quick.' He texted back to her.

'Well, we wanted to make sure that you were the actual Lucifer.' MoonButt texted back.

Mike rolled his eyes and texted,

'As I asked, what do you want? I'm a busy man and my time is money.'

'We would like to ask you something.' MoonButt texted back.

'Make it quick.' Mike texted back.

'We at Nightmare Industries would like you to help any new players that show themselves to you.' MoonButt texted.

'Two things, one you do realize that certain people might not want help, right?' Mike texted to MoonButt.

'And we understand that, we are only asking you to help those who want it.' MoonButt texted to him.

'Alright then, number two on the other hand, if you want my help, can you give me my Minimap? I feel naked without it.' He texted to MoonButt.

'Mini- OH! That! One second...' MoonButt texted to Mike, then he proceeded to feel like part of his eyes were on fire, the bottom right portion of his eyes felt like they were burning. That's when he saw a familiar looking Minimap, with the surroundings of more a modernized and updated looks of the campus in the Minimap.

'Seems like we're done here.' Mike texted and was about to turn off the phone, when MoonButt texted him.

She texted, 'I have one last thing for you to do, a group of close friends of mine are also Beta-Testing Saints Row: Online VR, I would like you to meet up with them.'

“Wait,” Mike said quietly, “Someone else is here? I haven't seen anyone, excluding a text from a NMI Developer.” Mike then quickly texted, 'Where are they?'

'They just got off the boat and hijacked a car. They are currently driving over to you' MoonButt texted.

“A car? Not a few, or multiple. JUST A CAR!?” Mike thought to himself in disbelief, praying that they stole something other then the standard starting car. His intrigue grew when on the Minimap he saw a white dot with the number four in it coming towards him, and then they appeared in a standard starting vehicle of Saints Row: Online, a Komodo Minivan. The Komodo was a piss yellow and there was a good bit of rust on its side, its front bumper and back bumper. Mike took a deep breath, and remembered, that was what Saints Row: Online gave the player starting out, albeit, there were four people in the same car.

Mike leaned up against his car and they stopped in front of him. Mike saw four females get out and felt the need to facepalm. They looked to be four of the MLP Mane Six, A Twilight Sparkle Player in Human... Elf Form? A Fluttershy Player, also an Elf. The Pinkie Pie Player, in a human form wearing the most revealing outfit that a Human Pinkie Pie would wear. A Rainbow Dash Player, thankfully a human as well, albeit, wearing the same type of casual outfit that Rainbow Dash would wear. He recognized their characters from the Gen four variation of My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic, their names over their heads weren't helping Mike's nerves in the slightest.

The Twilight Player (named Twilishus) was wearing what looked to be a standard college study outfit of a snow white sweatervest, a black mini skirt, black stockings, black heels, what looked to be two silver ear ring piercings, and brown rectangular glasses.

The Fluttershy Player (named Shydus Magnus) was doing her character a bit of justice, she was wearing a light tan brown neckless shoulderless sweater, a gold and teal butterfly necklace, Gold ear piercings with gold chains and tiny blue crystals on the end of the chains, khaki shorts, thigh high white socks, and white shoes.

The Pinkie Pie Player (named Pynki1789) was wearing the most skimpiest outfit out of the group, wearing a baby blue half shirt that said, 'Party Girl Right Fuckin' Here!' with the Pinkie Pie Player's breasts almost spilling out the bottom of the shirt, and the tiniest yellow thong, so much so that her hips and ass were stretching the already tight fabric. Mike had the feeling he'd need to keep his bodily functions in check around Pynki, due to the outfit that Pynki was wearing. Then a thought occurred to Mike, if she found her way into the Let's Pretend shop at the shopping mall... Mike made a mental note to keep her away from the mall if at all possible, if he couldn't, he'd cross that bridge when he got to it. Then he thought about the other clothing stores in the mall and shuttered, 'Okay, priority one: Keep Pynki away from the mall, AT ALL COST!'

Mike then looked back to The Rainbow Dash player (named LightningBurn) and her outfit screamed punk biker. She was wearing dual silver ear piercings on her left ear, a black choker with what looked to be Rainbow Dash's Cutie mark on a key-chain loop, a black leather bikini top, a leather jacket that only covered her shoulders and breasts, what looked to be beige blue booty shorts, a black thong coming from under her shorts, and rainbow arm warmers that went up to her elbows and only covered her middle fingers. Mike saw something pushing against the bikini top the RD Player was wearing, where the... that's when it hit him, the RD Player had Nipple Piercings, from the shape of the piercings, they were spiked piercings.

Mike sighed to himself and thought, “If they are the cringy type of roleplayers, i'm just dipping out of this and leveling by myself.”

He then said to them, “Are you the four MoonButt told me about?”

Twilishus then said, “Ah yes, Luna did say we'd meet with you... Lau... cie... fur?”

“It's Lucifer, Lish.” Mike said. Twilishus blushed and said, “It's Twilishus, mister Lucifer.”

Pynki then quickly got in front of Twilishus and said at an insanely fast speed, “Hi! I'm Pynki, are you new?! You must be new just like us! Though you look so experienced! Well are you?! Huh, huh, huh, huh?!”

Mike felt like his personal space was being assaulted with Pynki right in his face yelling, before he could say anything, Shydus pulled Pynki back and said in a firm yet soft voice, “Pynki, you're invading his personal space, back it up... um, if you don't mind.”

Pynki whined and said, “Shydus... come on! He looked interesting!”

Lightning groaned and said, “Oh come on! Let's do something, I don't want to stand around all day!”

Mike cleared his throat and said, “If you four don't mind, I could show you one of the activities I used to frequent when I played this game.”

Twilishus's eyes widened and she asked, “You played this game prior to this version?”

Mike rolled his eyes and said, “Obviously, how do you think I have these mad stacks of dough.”

Pynki looked around and said “Dough?! WHERE?!”

Mike proceeded to facepalm and said, “You know what... nevermind. Let me just get you better vehicles.”

The four “Girls” looked confused as Mike pulled out his pistol, turned around and saw three different vehicles, a motorbike and two cars, all with NPCs that were already dead in Mike's mind. He proceeded to pull out his pistol, rack the slide back and unload a round into the biker's face sending him off the bike. The other NPCs saw what Mike did and were about to drive off, until Mike plugged a few rounds into the driver and passenger in the first car. The second driver smashed into the other car and made a bee-line across the grass to another stretch of road, until he fell from the car a bullet in the back of his head.

In Mike's mind, three stationary kills and one moving headshot that took less than ten seconds, an impressive feat to most, but second nature in SR:O to Mike. Mike looked back to them and said, “Ladies? Choose your ride.”

Lightning looked at Mike in awe for at least a few seconds, before looking away and said, “Whatever, bet I can do better.”

Mike looked back to Lightning and said, “Really? Try putting down an entire room of rouge spec ops agents, drugged out of your mind using only an axe.”

Lightning looked away, blushing and muttering in an annoyed tone. Lightning looked to the bike on its side and proceeded to walk over to it and pick it up, getting on the seat. “The Sabertooth Motorbike? Nice choice, for an wannabe biker.”

Lightning glared at him pulled up her fists and growled, “Wanna bucking try me bitch!?”

Mike turned back to the other three and said as a final statement to Lightning, “Don't try and tick me off Lightning, I will stuff you in a car's trunk and drive the car off a cliff.”

Twilishus got into the first car as she attempted to make the blood on the seat seem normal, while mentally freaking out at the feeling of blood on her back, “The La Fuerza? A car of class for any sleazy pimp starting out in the Row.” Mike said walking over to the driver side of the car.

Twilishus looked up to Mike and said, “Is it normally this gross to get into a bloodied up char- car?”

Mike looked to Twilishus and said, “It was never really this lifelike, the closest I ever got to this was an Indie VR mock up set, albeit it lacked the smell, touch, or pin-perfect sounds.”

Twilishus looked back to the wheel in front of her and gripped it, closing the door with other as Mike got out of the way.

Mike could see Pynki getting back into the van and shrugged her off, if she could keep up with him in the starting van, he'd eat his headset and after raging for over an hour, give her props. Mike looked over to Shydus and saw her squeamishly stepping around the corpse and looking sadly at the body on the other side of the car. “Hey, Magnus!” Mike called to her, his voice startled her as she seemed to jump and quickly turn to him, squeaking out a pitiful, “Y-yes?!”

Mike looked over to the vehicle by her and questioned, “You getting in? We have a drive ahead of us.”

Shydus looked over to the corpses sadly and asked, “Did you need to kill them? W-we could've just asked them to give us the car.”

Mike looked a Shydus and asked her in disbelief, “You never played a game where you played the villains/criminals, have you?”

Shydus shook her head and said, “N-no, I and the girls always played the heroes in games, so for this to be a game about murder, violence and destruction, I-I-I... I can't.”

Mike realized that she'd need a very direct crash course in the Saints Row Online MMORPG reflexes and morals, so Mike pulled out his pistol and aimed it at her face pulling back the hammer with a loud *CLICK!* He then pulled the trigger and shot her in the head with the sound of a messy *POP!* as a bullet lodged itself in her head. Her body dropped to the concrete with a thud, alerting the other three players that Mike killed Shydus, in turn the other three pulled out their pistols and were about to blow Mike away, when he pulled out a 40 oz bottle of beer and proceeded to dump it over Shydus' corpse and her wound healed rapidly. Almost five seconds later, she shot up and screamed and sputtered at the taste when it landed in her mouth. “Welcome back to the world of the living.” Mike said impassively.

Shydus got back up and asked in a scared tone, “W-w-w-will you do... that, again?”

Mike shrugged and said, “Not yet, you need to have a faster reaction time when facing players or NPCs, or what just happened will be standard for you.”

“I-I-I-I... I d-don't want t-t-to hurt pon- people.” Shydus nervously.

Mike looked at Shydus in disbelief and said, “Then you will get your ass handed to you on multiple platters, both of the rich and the new. NPC's on the other hand with not stop until you stay dead.”

Shydus' lip quivered and she asked, sounding ready to break into tears, “C-can't we b-bury the four of them?”

Mike looked at Shydus and growled out, “Good idea Magnus, however, the bodies despawn when we leave the area.”

Shydus looked fearful at Mike and stuttered out, “W-w-will I have to kill y-you if you turn on us?”

Mike shrugged and said, “You don't have to worry about me turning on any of you... yet. Now, get in the car.”

Shydus looked at the blood stained seat with the corpse in the passenger seat and adamantly got in, pushing out the body out of the car, which turned out to be a Phoenix Muscle car. Mike proceeded to get back in his car, started the engine and pulled out his phone pulling up the GPS app. He proceeded to search the map for minute until he saw the familiar red and blue police lights in the activity diamond. “Follow girls.” Mike said, speeding off.

Three of the four girls scrambled to keep up, but Pynki kept right on Mike's tail. Mike make his way up the map with Pynki tailing right behind him, and the other three attempting to keep up. Mike kept his eye on Pynki's van keeping close to his car and decided to throw her through a test, he made a sharp right turn close to the Trailer Park district, turning into it with Pynki right behind him. He made multiple turns on the roads in the district to attempt to lose Pynki, only for her to still be right on his tail. After realizing that he'd be more likely to crash than lose her so he made his way out of the Trailer Park district with her still following right behind him.

He and Pynki stopped by the music store and near the alleyway was the green activity diamond with the red and blue cop lights. First to show up was Magnus with a bit more damage to the hood of her car, along with a bit of blood. The next one was Lightning with white smoke blowing from the vents on the sides of the bike. Twilishus was the last one to show up, and her car had the most wear and tear on it, the windshield was cracked, one of her door was hanging loosely on the car by one of its hinges, while the other was snapped off.

Mike grinned and asked, “Had a bit of trouble ladies?”

Lightning glared at Mike and growled, “Shut the fuck up.”

“Rainbow!” Twilishus snapped at Lightning, then covered her mouth as if she swore, confusing Mike.

“Oookay... ?” Mike started, then said, “The activity is over here ladies, let me start it.”

He walked over to the diamond and pressed his hand on it and everything went white. Mike then saw a party screen similar to the original one from the game. He then proceeded to click the invite button on the left of the screen and all four of the girl's names appeared, Mike then swiped all four of them down and an action bar appeared over their names. He then saw the option of 'Invite All' and pressed down on it. All four of them then appeared on both sides of him, looking surprised and confused. Twilishus looked forward and saw a similar looking screen in front of her, but the invite and party options were blotted out and she pressed down on the 'Play' button. The other three saw the screen and pressed down on the 'Play' button. Mike then pressed down on the same button the girls did, and the five of them were again engulfed in a blinding light.

Mike then saw the street come back, this time with a familiar looking blond woman in a pink top and khaki pants. She looked up from her phone and saw Mike, getting up she waved her hand at him and motioned for him to come over. He walked over to her and she said, “Hey again, thank you for the last full shoot. The manager loved my choice of person.”

Mike took a light gentlemanly bow and said, “It isn't a problem my dear, so why did you call me? More episodes need to be recorded?”

The woman's mouth snaked into a grin and she exclaimed, “Even better, my manger wants you and your group to record a full two seasons of Fuzz!”

Mike smirked and questioned, “More of the same criminal crimes with optional weaponry choices?”

The woman shook her head an said, “No, you have mandatory objectives for certain jobs that you might be called for.”

Mike then said, “Like a full pacifist run through the episode or something?”

The woman smirked and said, “Maybe, let's get you and your crew suited up.”

The world the faded to black, then turned back to normal, but with the image of a set of police lights and a pistol in the upper right corner of his vision, along with the word 'Footage' and a bar on a black backdrop. Mike looked down at himself and saw he was in the standard blue and black Stillwater cop attire. Mike then heard someone scream behind him and he quickly turned around to see the four girls in their attire, albeit, two were dressed as strippers. Twilishus and Pynki were dressed as the strippers, a tied cop shirt barely covering their breast,nothing covering their stomachs, a standard cop utility belt, a blue bikini bottoms, stockings and black high heeled shoes. Pynki was testing out the outfit's friction with her body, whilst Twilishus was attempting to cover herself trying to save her dignity. Lightning started laughing her ass off when she saw Twilishus and Mike got a good look at Lightning, she was dressed as a standard Stillwater highway patrol officer in a full female uniform. Mike then saw Magnus and he felt a twang of envy go through his core. He saw Magnus in full Stillwater Swat gear with the Japanese Kanji for Police embroidered on the chest and a full helmet on her head. On her Left upper shoulder was the Japanese Kanji for Protect, on the Right was the Kanji for Serve. On the back of her gear was the Kanji for Stillwater Police. Mike couldn't help but feel a little jealous of Magnus' luck, what she got was possibly one of the rarest outfits in the entire game. Mike then heard a male laugh, then say, “It's time for some vulgar abuse of power!”

CHAPTER 1: COMPLETED!

Crimson: Growls as he sees four females with their arms crossed glaring at himWhat? I got it done!

Saints Fluttershy: It should've been done a MONTH ago you fuck!

Golden Darkness: Turns her hair to a set of claws and points them at CrimsonDo I need to rip your dick off?

Dark: Flips a butterfly knife open and closedHow about we take his hands instead?

Kurumu: Shakes her headYou realize we'd stop hounding you if you got done on time, right?

Crimson: I just turned a year older, fuck off. Anyways, I meant to get this out a month ago, but with me getting a PS4, Spiderman 2018, RDR2 and a few new jobs, I've been strapped for time, but I did get it done. This has been CrimsonFucker/4455 with SRO:EE, PEACE!

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