The Mare Who Loved Me (Boncord II)

"You know if I hadn't made that promise I could have just altered reality and made a reservation for us. We could be 'coincidentally' sitting right beside them." Discord said to Bon Bon with a sigh as a pretentiously dressed waiter-pony lead them to a table. The crowd was plentiful but calm. The couple found themselves seated near to Matilda and Cranky Doodle Donkey and a number of strangers.

"But then you wouldn't be somepony worth going to a place like this with." Bon Bon replied as she looked around at the pretentious decor and then began to fuss with her menu.

"Fluttershy could be anywhere in this crowd." Discord complained as he peered around. "I'm going to go look around."

Discord got up and started wandering around the restaurant in search of Fluttershy as Bon Bon let out a sigh and flipped noncommittally through the menu.

"What are you doing here!?" Rainbow Dash demanded as she unexpectedly popped into Discord's path. Discord recoiled in surprise at the unexpected encounter. "You're not here to spy on Fluttershy, are you?"

"Of course not! I'm here on a romantic date with Bon Bon." Discord pointed back at the table where Bon Bon sat, waiting impatiently.

"Then why aren't you at the table?" Rainbow Dash pushed.

"I need to stretch out before I eat. Don't want to pull a ham-string" Discord appeared in jogging clothes and passed a large ham to Rainbow Dash.

"I'm watching you!" Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes as Discord pushed passed her and continued his search.

"Discord!" Another voice called out. Discord turned around and found Twilight Sparkle standing behind him. "We didn't finish our little chat earlier." Twilight said insistently.

"Can't you see I'm busy right now!?" Discord complained. "I'm trying to have a romantic evening with Bon Bon."

"Good. I have some questions I'd like to ask her too." Twilight said with a smirk.

"Now what kind of 'Princess of Friendship' would you be if you went around crashing dinner dates like this?" Discord lectured disingenuously.

"I see what you're trying to do. You're just using her as an exuse-" Twilight's escalating tirade was interrupted by Discord's claw in her face in a 'shush' gesture.

"Well that's what you think. But I'm just trying to picture the headlines. 'Princess Twilight Sparkle- smarmy politico by day- jealous homewrecker by night'. I just feel sorry for that brother of yours- Shaggy Armor, is it?"

"Shining Armor" Twilight muttered in correction as she forced Discord's claw away from her face. She was now seething with rage.

"Imagine him; having to deal with all of your envy every time you are reminded that he is happily married and you are not." Discord chided.

"Enough!" Twilight shouted angrily. The sound of a torrent of silverware being dropped onto plates surged through the restaurant and when it was done the restaurant was completely silent and all eyes were on Twilight. "I mean I've wasted enough of your time. Please continue on your romantic date." She said with a nervous laugh.

"Avec pleasure!" Discord exclaimed as he snapped his fingers and disappeared.

"I'll be watching you." Twilight muttered as he left.

"Nice of you to join me." Bon Bon said with a roll of her eyes as Discord materialized back in his seat across from her. "Did you find her?".

"We have more pressing matters. Twilight Sparkle is here!" Discord explained in a panic.

"That's not all." Bon Bon said ominously as she cocked her head to the side. Lyra and Candy-Gram were seated just a few tables away.

"She's still dating that secret agent, I see." Discord pondered.

"Oh, no." Bon Bon stared down nervously. "I bet she's part of the investigation against us."

"Do you really think so?" Discord stared conspicuously across the room.

"Just think about it. Why would Lyra want to come play at a small time fundraiser back here in Ponyville? Twilight Sparkle is friends with the organizer so she, easily, could have pushed for Lyra to play here so she could get agent Candy-Gram stationed in town. She was there. She's the obvious choice for heading the investigation." Lyra buried her face in her hooves. "We're in serious trouble."

"Well let's not jump to conclusions." Discord suggested. "Maybe it's all just a silly coincidence."

"Well if you hadn't made that stupid promise we would already know that!" Bon Bon shouted.

"I'm trying to have a quiet dinner over here with my wife!" Cranky Doodle Donkey shouted from the neighboring table.

"I don't need my magic for this. We just need a diversion." Discord whispered with a wink.

"Well that's your specialty, isn't it?" Bon Bon whispered back.

Discord lashed his tail out into the aisle, tripping a passing waiter pony who spilled a tray full of drinks on Candy-Gram as he fell to the ground.

"Hey!" Candy-Gram yelped.

"Here, let me-" Lyra's horn glowed as her magic formed an ethereal hand which picked up a napkin from the table and dabbed at the hopeless deluge of various drinks all over Candy-Gram.

"It's no use!" Candy-Gram complained angrily as she stood tall from the table. "Excuse me while I go use the little fillies room."

Lyra sighed and stared down at the table.

"Go stall her at the washroom." Discord ordered.

"Still not one for subtlety, huh?" Bon Bon sighed as she got up and headed to the washroom.

"Hey!" Discord shouted out to the whole restaurant. "It's that famous Lyra Heartsrings and she's giving out free autographs!" A slight commotion formed as restaurant patrons began amassing near Lyra.

"Now." Discord snickered quietly to himself as he reached into Candy-Gram's bag which she had stowed underneath the table. "Tell me what secrets you hold."

Bon Bon whistled conspicuously as she sauntered into the washroom and found Candy-Gram fumbling with a hoof dryer, wearing an undignified expression.

"Hey!" Bon Bon called out. "Are you new to Ponyville? I've never seen you around town before. Small town. You know." She asked with a sly tone.

"You could say that. Just passing through, really." Candy-Gram explained with an identical candor. "If you don't mind." Candy-Gram cocked her head to the side to draw attention to her predicament and then gave a relenting sigh. "Sorry. I don't mean to be rude." Candy-Gram held out her front hoof for a hoofshake.

"The name's Swe- I mean Bon-" Bon Bon reached back and gave a firm hoofshake. "Bon Bon"

"Bon Bon!?" Candy-Gram drew back and gave a hearty chuckle. "Lyra's old marefriend?"

"Wait you-" Bon Bon's face drooped in shock and humiliation.

"Oh, Lyra told me all about you." Candy-Gram continued.

"And just what did she say?" Bon Bon began trembling. "You know what? I don't need to know that. It was nice meeting you but I really have to get back." She stumbled nervously. "It was real nice meeting you, Sugar Drops, was it?" Bon Bon began walking off.

"I never told you my name." Candy-Gram said in an ominous tone.

Bon Bon stopped and looked back. "I'm sure you did." She said with a nervous laugh.

"Don't let me hold you up- agent." Candy-Gram insisted in a menacing tone as Bon Bon darted out of the washroom in a panic.

Bon Bon returned to the table to find Discord sitting with a sly grin on his face.

"So." Bon Bon gave a nervous laugh as she sat back down. "Did you find anything interesting?"

"Just that Candy-Gram there has a train ticket from Appleoosa tomorrow morning." Discord boasted.

"You mean a train ticket to Appleoosa?" Bon Bon corrected.

"Nope. It looks like she'll be flying to Appleoosa by balloon tonight only to take a one-way train ride from Appleoosa to Canterlot in the morning. " Discord explained. "Perhaps we should be on that train too."

"Yeah. Good Idea. Sure. Can we get out of here now?" Bon Bon replied curtly.

"Why are you in such a hurry? We still have to find Fluttershy." Discord complained.

Bon Bon stared blankly as she watched Candy-Gram saunter back to her table and stare at her menacingly. "So I might have accidentally revealed to Candy-Gram that I know her alias and then she called me 'agent'." Bon Bon said with a nervous laugh.

"You what!?" Discord replied angrily. The whole restaurant heard and grew silent as eyes started staring in their direction.

"Well maybe if you shared your ideas with me once in a while before committing to them!" Bon Bon yelled as she stood up.

"Well it worked, didn't it!?" Discord snapped back.

"Because you always give yourself the easy part and I do all the thinking!" Bon Bon huffed back.

"Well I-" Discord was interrupted by Bon Bon's hoof in his face.

Bon Bon cocked her head sideways. Discord followed her head and saw that Twilight Sparkle was standing some distance away, glaring at them.

"Oh, great." Discord huffed. "I told Twilight Sparkle we were here on a romantic date and now she can clearly see we are up to no good." Discord lectured under his breath.

"Every couple has arguments." Bon Bon lectured back.

"Yes but then they kiss and make up." Discord got up and stepped toward Bon Bon.

"Not right now." Bon Bon said.

"But we need to look more couple-like so Twilight doesn't get suspicious." Discord said as he moved closer yet.

"I'm not doing this in publi-" Bon Bon was interrupted as Discord pulled her close and kissed her on the lips. "Stop it!" Bon Bon pushed him away. The crowds eyes grew ever more intent.

"Well now this looks even worse!" Discord huffed angrily.

"Is this what you want!?" Bon Bon shouted as she grabbed on to Discord and began kissing him passionately as the onlookers watched.

Discord pushed her away. "Well now you're the one over-doing it."

"What if I want it now!?" Bon Bon gleamed hungrily at Discord and then bucked him down onto the table which fell apart with a crash as he landed on his back.

"What in Celestia's name is wrong with you!?" Discord snapped as Bon Bon jumped on top of him.

"I don't know how you get me all worked up like this. But now I really want it. " Bon Bon said with a devilish grin.

"This is hardly the appropriate venue!" Discord lectured as Bon Bon's passionate advance grew more aggressive.

"It's been a while." Bon Bon complained.

"Why don't you two get a darn room!?" Cranky Doodle Donkey piped in angrily.

"With pleasure!" Discord said as he reached up from the tangle of bodies and snapped his fingers. He and Bon Bon disappeared in a flash of light and then reappeared in an instant. Bon Bon's front legs were slung around his neck and both were disheveled and panting.

"Well that was fast." Cranky Doodle Donkey chided as a hearty chuckle roared from within the crowd.

"We used a time compression spell!" Discord complained.

"Sure thing." Crankly Doodle Donkey replied.

"Tell them!" Discord demanded of Bon Bon.

"Mmhmm!" Bon Bon mumbled with a look of extreme pleasure on her face as she fell asleep with her front legs still slung around Discord's neck.

"Well. If you excuse us we're just going to be off on our own now." Discord said nervously as he snapped his fingers and the two disappeared.

"Waiter!" Matilda flagged down a waiter-pony. "I'll have whatever she had."

Cranky Doodle Donkey glared at Matilda, unimpressed by her joke.

"Actually, they didn't even order anything." The waiter pony explained with a confounded expression.