Chapter One - Art of the BookView OnlineAn Egghead's Guide to Pick-Up-LinesChapter One - Art of the BookOkay, you guys, this really wasn't supposed to get posted on here, I wrote it at my grandmothers while bored. I'm sure this has been done a million times, but whatever. And it wasn't supposed to have more then one chapter, but oh well. I think there will only be two chapters... I know my writing isn't at my best, but this isn't meant to be serious. Just something written while I couldn't access my other fanfic. ~~~ Twilight Sparkle flopped down on her bed, exhausted. A new shipment of books had just arrived, and she’d spent all afternoon reorganizing everything. She sat up in bed, she wasn’t really sleepy tired. Just... well, not too tired not to read! I’ll read one of the new books, she thought. Most of them were ones she’d hadn’t even heard of, so she was excited. She’d read almost every book in the library by this point, so it was good to have some new ones! Not that reading the same books over and over ever got boring, of course! She hopped up and trotted down the steps, then used her magic to highlight all the new books, she looked them over one by one, then stopped. She picked one up in her magical pink aura, and read the title. The eggheads guide to pick-up-lines All the mares will love you! “Oh, how interesting!” Twilight exclaimed. Satisfied, she went back to her room and settled down with the book. She opened it and begun to read. A few hours later, Twilight heard the sound of the front door. “Twilight?” came Spike’s voice. “I’m here!” She called, walking happily down the steps. “Did you have fun at Rarity’s?” she asked. “Yeah…” he said with a little smile, his gaze wandering dreamily. “That’s good!” Twilight said, a big grin on her face. “Um…” Spike backed away. Why was she looking at him like that? “Spike,” she addressed; “If…” she wracked her brain thinking of which one to use. “If… if you were a booger I’d pick you first!” Spike blinked. “Um… thanks, I guess?” “Only the best for my Number One Assistant!” she smiled, patting his head with a hoof. “Now, can you watch the library for an hour or so? I have some things I’d like to do.” “Sure, Twi.” He said. She then immediately ran out giggling like a school-filly. Spike pulled a little book out of nowhere and begun writing. “I'll have to try that one on Rarity!” ~ Twilight trotted down Mane Street, looking for her friends. Twilight jumped about fifty feet as Pinkie materialized out of nowhere and pressed her nose against Twilight's. “Hi, Twilight!” she smiled widely, “How are you? I haven’t seen you all day, and that can’t be right! You know I was thinking of visiting you but then I decided that I’d throw an ‘I-haven’t-seen-you-all-day’ party! But now I’ve seen you so now I have to throw an ‘I-haven’t-seen-you-all-day-but-now-I’ve-found-you-but-who-cares-let’s-party-anyway’ party!” Pinkie was about to continue but Twilight stuffed her hoof in the party ponies mouth. “Mmmf mff pershmffff” “Pinkie?” “Hmmm?” “Um…” Twilight thought. “I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?” Pinkie laughed. “Silly, you don’t need a library card! You own the library; or maybe you do need one. Do librarians check books out to themselves or do they just take the books whenever they want? Does it even matter since you live in the library?” “Uh - Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!” “Oh; thanks Twilight but I have to get your party ready – I’ll make plenty of chocolate milk; I think the weathers too nice for hot chocolate! Oh, what am I saying? It’s never too warm for hot chocolate!” The pink pony rambled on, not even noticing that Twilight had left. After fleeing one of Pinkie's never ending rambles, Twilight pranced along. She was glad she hadn’t offended Pinkie – the book had guaranteed all her friends would love her (Not that they didn’t already,) but still. Not everypony was the same, and she didn’t want to offend anypony! Twilight was so busy thinking, she crashed into somepony else – she fell back on her rump. “Ow! I – Oh! Fluttershy!” She immediately leaped to her hooves and helped her yellow Pegasus friend up. “Oh – um, that’s okay Twilight. I should have been watching where I was going…” “No, it was me, Fluttershy. I was lost in thought. Sorry,” Fluttershy smiled softly. “No… it’s… fine…” Twilight smiled, “So, what are you doing?” “I was just walking home – I found a lost baby squirrel so I had to take him back to his mommy.” “Oh.” Twilight said. Perfect! “You’re so kind, Fluttershy.” She smiled politely. “Did it hurt?” “Um – did what hurt?” “Falling out of pony heaven?” Fluttershy looked confused for a split second before her eyes widened. “Oh! Oh my… I… I…” “If you were a tear in my eye, I wouldn’t cry for fear of losing you.” Twilight smiled. “Oh… oh my goodness.” Fluttershy blushed, the faintest hint of a smile on her face. “That is so kind of you to say… I…” she hid behind her mane, letting out a tiny squeak. Twilight could barely contain her excitement. Fluttershy looked at her shyly. “Um… can… may I come to your house tonight? To… to visit?” “Sure!” Twilight exclaimed happily. “I’d never pass up the chance to see my best friends!” Fluttershy turned red again. “Sorry,” Twilight said; “But I have to go for now. I want to say hi to everypony else, too. See you tonight!” “Yeah… See you tonight…” Fluttershy said barely above a whisper. Twilight trotted off with a wave. Fluttershy watched her go, then quickly turned her gaze away from Twilight’s plot, turning scarlet. On the other side of ponyville, Rainbow Dash yawned; stretched, and turned over, burying her face in the soft, plush-like cloud she was laying on. “Hello, Rainbow Dash!” “Ugh… my egghead senses are tingling,” Dash mumbled half-asleep. “Rainbow Dash! Are you awake?” “No.” “Hey!” Dash lifted her head, blinking her eyes. She yawned again, opening her wings and standing. She stretched again, then dove off the cloud landing perfectly on the ground, dust kicked into the air. “What is it? Is the meadow on fire?” Twilight chuckled, “No, I just wanted to say something.” “Can’t it wait?” Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her neck, folding her wings, eyes half-closed. “Well… I must ask… Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!” Rainbow Dash cocked her head, puzzled. “What?” “Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is all we will ever be?” Twilight said, smiling. “You’re my best friend, Rainbow. I’ll never regret meeting you.” “Um. Thanks… Twilight. I mean… don’t get all sappy on me!” Rainbow said. This was completely out of nowhere! “Sappy?” Twilight hurt. “I’m just trying to be nice…” “Oh… sure.” Rainbow said, still quite confused. “I… thanks.” Twilight hung her head. Rainbow sighed. She hugged Twilight, “Thanks.” Twilight smiled softly. “Hey, would you like to visit my house tonight?” “Hm? Oh sure! I mean… sure!” Suddenly she wasn't very sleepy anymore. Twilight walked away feeling a little better. As she trotted out of view, Rainbow Dash’s folded wings suddenly whipped upwards. ~ Twilight headed to where Applejack usually was around this time of day - “Hey, Applejack!” Twilight waved. Applejack looked up from her apple-stand, it was obvious she had just finished closing up for the day, she was in the process of harnessing the cart to her saddle. “Oh, hey Twi. What’re y’all up to?” Twilight decided to overlook Applejack’s improper use of ‘y’all’ and walked up to her friend. “Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?” AJ stared, mouth open. “I… uh…” “I mean… is it hot out here or what? I got warm the second I looked at you!” Applejack flushed. “Oh, Twilight….” “I have many friends; but you’re the apples in my pie crust!” Applejack, in a rare moment of total embarrassment, turned her head away. “Gee, thanks Twi… I…” “Hey, would you like to come over tonight?” Twilight asked with a smile. AJ blinked. “I’ll… I’ll have to check my schedule… oh, fiddlesticks! Yes!” Twilight grinned. “Would you mind bringing one of your amazing apple pies? Oh – bring whipped cream as well, I don’t have any!” Applejack turned bright red. “Yeah… I’ll do it…” She watched Twilight leave with a wave, her heart fluttering madly. ~ Rarity heard the little bell ring as the front door of her boutique was opened. “Who is iiit~” she sing-songed, trotting to the door. “Oh, Twilight dear! You’re here just in time – Would you mind letting me measure you up a bit? I’m working on a surprise dress for a distant family member, and you’re just about her size.” Twilight nodded. “Of course, Rarity!” “Excellent, darling. Just stand over here while I get the measuring tape." Twilight trotted over to the designated spot and stood still. She looked around at the array of dresses, mannequins and other such things. Rarity approached with the measuring tape held in her magical aura. “Rarity?” Twilight asked as Rarity looked at her, adjusting her little red glasses. “Yes, Twilight?” “You wouldn’t happen to have a map on you, would you? I’m getting lost in your eyes.” Rarity blinked. “Oh my stars…” Twilight grinned. Failing to force back a blush, Rarity wrapped the tape around Twilight’s torso; then wrote the size down. “Can you touch me once more?” Twilight asked; “I want to tell all the others that I was touched by an angel.” Rarity smiled gently, “Twilight… I… what has gotten into you?” “Just being nice,” Twilight stated. “Say – you aren’t a thief are you? Because you stole my attention from across the town!” Rarity blushed harder, continuing to take the measurements. “Darling, I…” Rarity’s heart was fluttering. Could Twilight really be the one she was looking for? Her very special somepony? She looked at Twilight’s perfect frame. Her beautiful mane, her luscious coat… She finished taking the measurements and set the tape dreamily on the table. “Twilight… darling…” she put her face close to Twilight’s, but not too close…. “Oh Twilight… may…. I would like to come over to your house tonight. I have… business to attend to here but… I want to talk with you tonight…” “Sure!” Twilight backed away slightly, Rarity was getting a little too close. “Yeah,” Twilight begun to happily talk about how all her friends were coming over tonight, but Rarity had faded into her own thoughts, Oh my. I never realized… How could I not have? Twilight and I…. it truly is meant to be, isn’t it… Rarity pulled herself back into reality. “-With whipped cream!” Rarity turned scarlet. She had never realized Twilight was so… Oh, she was nervous yet… she couldn’t wait! Twilight Sparkle arrived at home to find Fluttershy walking away from the library. “Fluttershy!” she called. Fluttershy looked up. “Twilight! I mean… Twilight….” “Sorry I’m late,” Twilight said as she opened the door and allowed the yellow Pegasus in. “Rarity wanted to take measurements and that sort of thing.” “Oh, it’s fine, Twilight…. I just…” she looked around. “Is Spike home?” “He should be. Why?” Fluttershy’s ears flattened. Twilight noticed a scroll on the desk. She levitated it over; opened it and read. Twilight, Pinkie Pie wanted me to go go to Sugarcube Corner to help set up an ‘I-haven’t-seen-you-all-day-but-now-I’ve-found-you-but-who-cares-let’s-party-anyway’ party or something. Be back later, sorry. Spike “Nevermind,” Twilight rolled up the scroll. “He’s out for the night.” Fluttershy’s embarrassment faded, just a little bit. “Oh, that’s… good.” Twilight yawned, and backed against the wall. “I’m tired – I could sure use a soft pillow to cuddle.” She chuckled to herself. Fluttershy came over, her face hidden behind her mane. “Is everything okay, Futtershy?” Twilight asked, furrowing her brow. “Oh, I’m fine… just really nervous… about…” About what? Twilight thought. But before she could say anything at all, Fluttershy’s lips were pressed against hers. “Mmmf!” her eyes grew big, pupils becoming little pinpricks as she sat there, frozen with shock as the usually timid Pegasus kissed her so tenderly… Then there was a knock on the door, and without waiting for an answer the pony on the other side practically blew the door down. “Twilight!” Rainbow’s raspy voice called out, “I’m-“ She stopped dead in her tracks, mouth hung open. Fluttershy pulled away from a very mortified Twilight, blushing furiously. “Rainbow Dash- I- I uh! Um!!” But before she could say anything, Rainbow Dash flew across the room and collided with Fluttershy, pinning her roughly to the wall where several books fell off the shelves and rained on them. “Fluttershy! What?! How could you! I thought we were friends!” Rainbow yelled furiously. Fluttershy begun to cry. Rainbow Dash flew over to Twilight and wrapped her hooves around her; “She’s MY marefriend! She picked me for a reason! Not you!” Twilight wasn’t sure what to say. She was too dumbfounded to say anything. When had they become marefriends? Twilight wasn’t even into mares! And that’s when Applejack trotted in with a pie on her head. “Hey, Twi, I- WHAT!?” she cried. “What in tarnation!” Applejack yelled angrily, betrayal burning in her eyes. “Applejack?!” Rainbow snapped. “What are you doing here?!” Applejack trotted in and pressed her face against Rainbow Dash’s. “I came to see my marefriend!” Rainbow Dash let go of Twilight and shoved Applejack back. “Yours?! She’s mine!” “Actually,” a teary eyed Fluttershy murmured from the corner, “She’s kind of… actually mine…” she recoiled when the two tough mares gave her a look that would put the stare to shame. All the while Twilight sat there dumbfounded. Had somepony snuck something into one of her snacks in the past week? And, naturally, that’s when Rarity decided to show up, wearing more make-up than one of Photo Finish’s models and a fancy purple hat perched on her head. “Oh, Twilyyyyy~” She sang, then stopped dead. She looked at the three other mares, and then Twilight. “…Did I miss something? Darling, what’s happening?” “These backstabbing wastes tried to steal my marefriend!” Applejack and Rainbow Dash said together, each one referring to the other and Fluttershy, who started crying again. “What?!” Rarity screeched. “Your marefriend?! But – but – she belongs to me!” Suddenly a pie hit her square in the face. She stood there, mouth agape as the pie foil slid off her face, landing on the ground where it spun a bit before falling upside down. Bits of apple pie and whipped cream slid down her face, her eyelid twitched. The culprit, Applejack, stood her ground. She snorted, pawing the ground with a hoof. Fluttershy rushed over to Twilight. “Help me…” Suddenly, there was an explosion. It all happened to fast, Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash all charged each other, and now the library was a mess of flying hooves, books being hurled around and mane-pulling and tail-biting and punching and kicking. Somepony grabbed Fluttershy’s tail and pulled her into the fight. Leaving Twilight standing there, as confused as ever. “Stop this…” she said. The four continued fighting. (Well, Fluttershy kept trying to escape but was pulled back in) “Quit! All of you!” Twilight said louder. Nopony listened. Twilight focused her horn, and then amplified her voice. “QUIET!” she yelled with enough force to send several more books tumbling off the shelves. Everypony stopped. The dust cleared away to reveal an angry Applejack with a furious Rainbow Dash lying over her back and pulling her mane; Rarity was on Rainbow Dash, her forelegs around the cyan Pegasus’s neck trying to strangle her, and Fluttershy was pinned under all of them. Twilight glared at them. “All of you, stop this now! And tell me, what the heck is going ON!” “Well!” Rainbow Dash spat, bucking Rarity off of her and flying up to where the others couldn’t reach her. “I came for my date with you, and what do I find when I get here? That little plot-face” she motioned for Fluttershy, “Was forcing herself on you! Totally ruining what would have been an AWESOME night!” “No! No!” Fluttershy cried. “It isn’t what you think – I thought – she – she invited me over, and I was just….” “What in tarnation are y’all talkin about?!” Applejack hissed. “She invited me over! This was supposed to be my first date! The greatest night of my life… ruined…” Rarity gasped in shock. “No… no you’re both wrong! This was my special night! Me and Twilight…. You ruffians ruined it for the two of us…” she gave Twilight a sad look. “Oh, darling, we were meant to be…. I can feel it…” Twilight Sparkle was mortified. “No… no! No, you guys…. I didn’t… this was just supposed to be a fun night for all of us! When did I become everypony’s marefriend? What happened?” Everypony stared at her. “You…” Fluttershy begun. “You called me an angel…” she blushed again. “And I thought we were going to have a first date tonight….. Unless… did we miss-communicate?! Did I come at the wrong time? Wrong day?” Rainbow Dash landed, and folded her wings, pawing the ground with a hoof. “You… you said such cheesy things. The kind of things an egghead would totally say to somepony they love… I…. I love you.” Applejack hung her head. “You came up to me and flirted a bit…. And… I thought we were gonna date tonight…” Rarity huffed. “You started with harmless flirting, but… I think the entire time we’ve known each other I’ve had these feeling for you, and didn’t know it… You’ve opened my eyes. We were meant to be.” She smiled dreamily. “Wha… what?” Twilight blinked. “Flirting? Those lines were flirting?!? No… no no! I didn’t mean to flirt! I – I found this book. It was a pick-up-line book… and…” She facehooved. “Pick up lines! How could I not have seen?” she groaned. She levitated the book over, and held it against her chest. “I think I’ve just messed up my entire life… Girls, I love all of you… but not in that way, I’m sorry. It’s all just a big misunderstanding.” Fluttershy hung her head, “Oh… it’s okay, Twilight…. Just a misunderstanding…” Rainbow Dash lowered her ears. “A misunderstanding. I see… no biggie! No problem!” she laughed nervously. “It happens all the time… yeah…” Applejack sighed. “I… I’m sorry, Twilight…” Rarity looked positively heartbroken. “I see…. Twilight, I… need some time to think.” She galloped out. “Yeah, me too.” Applejack and Rainbow Dash both said, and Applejack galloped out while Rainbow Dash flew over her head. Fluttershy slowly trudged out, head low. “I’m so sorry, Twilight….” Twilight collapsed. How would she ever make up for this?
Chapter Two - Of bathtubs and Cleaning MaidsView OnlineAn Egghead's Guide to Pick-Up-LinesChapter Two - Of bathtubs and Cleaning MaidsDepression had never felt so depressing to Twilight Sparkle. She had seriously screwed up. How could she ever fix this? She lay curled up in her bed. How could she have been so stupid? Pick-Up-Lines! She’d even said one to Spike. How humiliating. She was pretty sure Spike and Pinkie were the only ones left unaffected by her… advances? She groaned. She’d never be able to unsee her friend’s devastated faces. Twilight had never been in a relationship before – colt, or otherwise. She had no idea what to do. She’d never experienced anything like this before. She looked out the window. The sun was going down, Luna would be up soon to bring up the moon. Twilight contemplated writing to Celestia. Surely she could help. As Twilight thought about this, she sat up, tapping her chin with a hoof. “Twilight!” Twilight jumped. “Pinkie?!” Pinkie Pie fell from the ceiling, landing on her head on Twilight’s floor. She fell on her back, jumped to her hooves and bounced happily towards Twilight. “Twilight, your ‘I-haven’t-seen-you-all-day-but-now-I’ve-found-you-but-who-cares-let’s-party-anyway’ party is starting! You don’t want to miss it, do you?” Twilight frowned. She didn’t really feel like partying, but she also didn’t want to offend Pinkie, who luckily had been immune to her corny pick-up lines. “Are… is anypony else coming?” “Nope! Just me, you and Spike! Why? Usually I invite everypony in Ponyville, but I decided it would be just the three of us tonight!” Oh, thank Celestia! “Yeah, I’ll come.” Twilight said, pretending to smile. Perhaps a Pinkie Pie Party could take her mind off the current situation. “Well, come on then silly!” She bounced down the steps, Twilight in tow. “So… is it going to be a typical ‘crazy fun Pinkie Pie party’?” Twilight asked. “Huh? Oh no, because of the twins Mr. and Mrs. Cake have put down a ‘party curfew’ so I can’t do any late night partying, so this will just be a party in my room! But who cares – it’s a party!” “Yeah, a party.” Twilight said quietly. Pinkie stopped. “Is something wrong, Twilight?” “Huh? Oh no.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, Pinkie.” “Really really super-duper sure?” “Yes, Pinkie.” The two trotted (and bounced,) down the steps and out of Twilight’s library. Pinkie turned around. “Twilight, what’s wrong? Pinkie Pie can always tell when somepony is sad!” Twilight sighed. “Oh, it’s nothing Pinkie.” She gave the party pony a reassuring smile. “Just a, well, a misunderstanding happened, and so I’m feeling a little down.” “Well, this party’ll fix you right up! Nopony parties Pinkie style and doesn’t smile!” I hope so. Twilight thought as they continued down the now dark street. The moon was out now. Twilight wondered if Luna had any advice. Twilight felt hesitant asking Celestia. Hadn’t she come here in the first place to learn these lessons herself? Either way, she had no idea if she even could fix this, advice or no. ~~ The party went okay. Well, as far as Pinkie and Spike were concerned it had gone great. It wasn’t too loud, and there wasn’t much real hard-core ‘partying’, but that was perfectly fine with Twilight. The cake had been good though. One problem, though. It tasted delicious. But that wasn’t the problem. It had light blue frosting with rainbow sprinkles. Twilight had come here to try and forget her problem until tomorrow and now everything reminded her of the others! White and purple streamers, pink and yellow cupcakes, orange balloons! What the heck! It was like Pinkie was psychic. Well, not to say she isn’t, but… Other than the constant reminders of her heartbroken friends, Twilight could honestly say she had a good time. Several cups of punch later, she was having an even better time, having almost forgotten her troubles. And after midnight, she had completely forgotten. “It told you!” Pinkie laughed. “I told you a Pinkie Pie party – even if it isn’t a super Pinkie Pie party, it will party your troubles right away!” And then Twilight remembered again. Once again she questioned herself as to whether or not Pinkie Pie could read minds. “Um, Pinkie?” Twilight tapped the party ponies shoulder. “Yes, Twilight?” Pinkie grinned. “I’m… feeling sick,” she grabbed Spike in her magic and yanked him over. “Hey! What the-!” “And Spike is feeling sleepy! I think it’d be best if we left, don’tcha think Spike?” Before the baby dragon could reply Twilight interrupted, “Yep! Sleepy! Sorry, Pinkie to cut this short, but we should get some rest.” Pinkie blinked, “But the party isn’t over!” “I know, but…. but…. Spike! You can stay and party with Pinkie,” She levitated Spike off of her and tossed him at Pinkie’s hooves. “Ow! Twilight, what gives?” the annoyed dragon sat up, rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry, Spike, I just…” Twilight turned away. “I’m sorry you two. I’m just not feeling well today.” Spike walked up to Twilight and hopped back up on her back. “You know, I’m kinda tired too.” Twilight gave Pinkie an apologetic look. “Sorry.” “That’s okay, Twilight. I’ll just get another party ready for NEXT week. And this time it will be during the day so we can invite lots of ponies and be as loud as we want!” “That sounds great, Pinkie. Goodnight.” “G’night Pinkie,” Spike yawned. “Goodnight, Twilight, goodnight Spike!” Pinkie waved, and then pounced on Twilight giving both her and Spike a hug that would crush ribs. The two returned the hug and then repeated their goodnights, before Twilight trudged home, Spike nodding off on her back. Twilight Sparkle looked up at the dark sky, it was a cloudless night and a full moon shone brightly, as she walked, she thought about how she could apologize to her friends. She knew it would take more than an apology to fix her mistakes, but apology was the first step on the road to friendship recovery. She entered the library, giving Owlowiscious a smile as she passed him. “Hey, Owlowiscious” “Who?” Twilight carried Spike up to their room and gently placed him in his bed, tucking him in. She then trotted downstairs and paced, trying to decide what she could do to bring her friends back together. She once again thought about asking Celestia… No. Maybe Luna? No, that would be even more awkward. It was going to be a long night. ~~ It was a glorious morning in Ponyville, for most ponies anyway. For four others however, it was not so glorious. You are not in love with Twilight Sparkle. You are not in love with Twilight Sparkle. You are not in love with Twilight Sparkle. The sound of a quill scratching against parchment was the only sound that could be heard in Carousel Boutique. You are not in Love with Twilight Sparkle. Rarity’s face was buried in the cushions of her couch, her magic holding up the parchment and scraping the quill across its surface. You are not in love with Twilight Sparkle. This sentence had been scratched onto the parchment more times than she could care to count. The quill stopped when it reached the end of the paper. The parchment rolled itself up, then was tossed into a wastebasket to join other parchment rolls that the same fate had befallen. Rarity pulled her sticky face out of the cushion, her expression impassive and one ear flat against her head. Makeup had run down her face, strands of hair sticking to her sticky cheeks which still had traces of the pie Applejack had thrown at her. She hadn’t bothered washing up after arriving home, she hadn’t really cared. She didn’t remember falling asleep, just that she had plopped down on her couch and sobbed. She must’ve fallen asleep then. She pulled herself up off of the soft, warm cushions and made her way slowly to the bathroom, shoulders aching and head low. She pushed the door open and trudged in, looking at herself in the mirror. “Ugh… Rarity, you are a mess.” She turned the sink on and levitated a wash rag under the warm water, then proceeded to wash her face. It felt nice. She pulled the rag away and dried herself off with a towel. She looked at the mirror again. If felt good to be clean. Although she needed to put on more mascara and eyeshadow. Maybe later, right now she wanted to lay down some more. She collapsed back down onto her couch, turning the cushion around so she was on the non-sticky side, and no sooner had she relaxed and closed her eyes was there a knock on the door. “Oh, buck some apples.” She muttered under her breath and pulled herself back up. She trotted up to the door, forgetting her lack of makeup and opened it. “Yes, what do you…” Rarity stopped dead. “…Twilight.” She sheepish looking lavender unicorn lowered her eyes. She looked tired, as though she had been up all night. “Rarity.” There was a long, seemingly endless pause. “May I, uh, may I come in?” Twilight asked, feeling as though she had no right at all to ask such a thing. “…Of course.” Rarity didn’t know whether to grit her teeth or just cry. She stepped out of the way, and allowed her friend in, gently closing the door behind the purple unicorn. If anypony else were in the room, they probably would have been able to see the tension line between the two. Twilight took a deep breath and turned to face Rarity. She silently egged herself on, Come on Twilight, you can do this! You spent all night rehearsing this, you have to say it. Now say it! “RarityI’msorryIwassuchaneggheadIknowthingswillneverbethesamecanyoupleaseforgivemeplease?” Twilight had thrown herself at Rarity’s hooves, begging like a school filly. Rarity looked down at her, mouth open. “What?” “Rarity, I’m sorry! I really am, I was stupid, and I played with your feelings. It doesn’t matter that it was an accident, I ruined our friendship. I’m so sorry!” Rarity stared. “Please,” Twilight begged, “I don’t mean to I swear! I never meant for this to happen, I just wanted to… I don’t know! I don’t have feelings for you, but please don’t let this ruin our friendship!” “Twilight, I’m… I need some time to think. Give me some time. I…” Twilight got back to her hooves. “I’m sorry Rarity, I really am.” Rarity looked at her. “I just need time.” Twilight hesitated – she’d never been in a situation like this. What was she to do? “Could I… do chores?” In a moment of ‘Pinkie-ness’ she zoomed off and reappeared in a second, wearing a maid outfit with a broom and a bucket of water. Despite her earlier depression, Rarity was quite amused. “Well, I do have some work that needs getting done…” “Wonderful! I’ll get started right away!” Rarity was very amused. “I need Opal’s litter box cleaned, I need the floor swept and mopped, I need the kitchen cleaned and the fridge cleaned out, I also need to do some laundry, and let’s not forget Opal’s bath!” “Perfect! I’ll get it all done!” “And while you’re at it, would you mind making me some tea?” “Not at all!” And so Rarity settled down on the couch, sipping her tea as she got a front row seat to Twilight in a little maid suit cleaning her floor. Twilight had the broom in her front hooves, and was standing on two-legs, while her magic held various dusters and spray-bottles that were cleaning areas throughout the room. “Twilight, I think you missed a spot right here.” Rarity pointed to the spot right under the couch with a hoof. “Oh! Coming,” she hurried over and wielding a mop leaned down and crawled underneath the sofa, her hindquarters the only thing not underneath. Rarity admired the view, quickly looking away when Twilight pulled herself out from under the sofa, covered in dust. “I think I got it,” she informed. “Now, to give Opal her bath!” About half an hour later, Twilight trotted down the steps, and she was a mess! Opalescence had obviously put up a fight; Twilight had been splashed with water, and was covered in scratches. She walked up to Rarity. “I did everything you asked, is there anything else you need?” “No, no, dear. You’ve done quite enough.” “Are you sure?” Rarity nodded, “Darling, you’re a mess! How about I get you a bath started?” “Well... Okay,” Twilight followed Rarity into the bathroom. Once the tub was filled with warm, hot water, Rarity filled it with bubbles and moved out of the way to allow Twilight in. Twilight magically teleported the maid outfit away, and crawled into the tub, sighing in content. She was a bit startled when Rarity stepped into the tub with her. Rarity noticed her look, and elaborated: “I’m actually quite filthy from, uh, last night.” “Oh,” Twilight’s ears flattened, remembering the brawl that had occurred in her library. “Of course…” Awkward silence. “So… am I forgiven?” Rarity seemed not to have heard her, “Twilight dear, you should style your mane more often, it’s so pretty, yet you never do anything with it.” “I kind of like how it is, besides, I’d rather not have to spend time out of my day to style it… So, am I-“ “Dear, what’s that on your hoof?” Twilight looked down at the scratch on her hoof, grimacing. “Opalescence scratched me,” “Oh you poor thing!” Rarity moved over to Twilight and gently held up the purple hoof in her own white one. She gently kissed the wound, and looked up at Twilight seductively. “Perhaps when we’re done I can put some medicine on it, hm?” “Um… sure.” Was all Twilight could say. “Here, let me wash your mane,” Rarity offered, levitated over a bottle of shampoo. Twilight didn’t argue and allowed Rarity to pour a bucket of water over her mane and squirt a bit of the shampoo in, then she begun to massage it into her hair. “So… we can forget yesterday ever happ-“ Before she could finish Rarity had dumped another bucket of water over the purple unicorns head washing the shampoo out of her mane. “Ah! My eyes!” Twilight cried as the unwelcome soap invaded her eyeballs. “Whoops, silly me!” Rarity dunked Twilight’s head under the water, holding her there for a few seconds before allowing her back up. Twilight coughed and sputtered. “Rarity! What- are you trying to kill me?!” “Why of course not, dear!” Rarity gasped dramatically. “I was helping you get the shampoo out of your eyes! That stuff can be some a bother sometimes, can’t it?” Twilight rubbed a red eye, and grumbled to herself. Rarity hugged her tightly. “I’m ever so sorry, Twily.” “It’s okay, Rarity,” Twilight tried in vain to pull herself out of Rarity’s grip. Rarity finally let Twilight go and hauled herself out of the tub. “Did you even wash yourself?” Twilight asked. “Yes.” Rarity answered, and begun drying herself off. Twilight couldn’t help but notice how slowly she was doing it. Twilight pulled herself out of the bath and levitated a towel over to herself. Rarity noticed and immediately stole the towel out of Twilight’s magical grip. “Here! Let me help you,” Rarity started. “Uh, okay?” Twilight was more confused than ever. “So, I’m forgiven-“ Once again, she was interrupted, this time by the towel wrapping around her face and rubbing back and forth in an effort to dry her off. Twilight’s shoulders slumped. Somehow she knew what was going on. When the annoying piece of fabric was pulled away from Twilight’s head and draped across her back, Twilight turned to the still dripping wet Rarity. “Done?” “Mhmm,” Rarity answered, giving Twilight a sideways glance, the white unicorn’s lips pulled into a slight smile. Twilight watched Rarity slowly turn her back towards her and she started to finish drying herself, paying close attention to certain areas. “You’re trying to seduce me, aren’t you?” Twilight said blankly. “What?! Well I never!” Rarity defended. Twilight stared. “Yes.” Twilight sighed. “Look, Rarity. I’m sorry, I really, truly am. Please, just… I’m trying to fix our relationship, but I can’t when you’re doing… this.” Rarity lowered her eyes. “I see.” “You don’t have to forgive me right now, I understand. But please don’t do… that,” she referred to the towel still embedded between Rarity’s legs. Rarity’s ears lowered. “I, forgive me Twilight. I’m sorry, and I had no business trying to gain your affections that way…” “No, forgive me… or not. I guess,” Twilight sighed. “Bye,” she said quietly and walked out, head low. ~~ Okay, Rarity’s was a disaster. Twilight sighed, stroking the place between her (Still a bit stingy) eyes, and tried to think of whom to go to next that wouldn’t be too hard. “…Fluttershy.” ~~~~~~~ Oh dear sweet Celestia, what have I gotten myself into.... Special thanks to crimsongraph for proofreading.
Chapter Three - Of Heartaches and MayonnaiseView OnlineAn Egghead's Guide to Pick-Up-LinesChapter Three - Of Heartaches and Mayonnaise“Fluttershy!” Twilight knocked on the door for what was probably the fiftieth time. “Fluttershy, come on out!” The door opened revealing Angel, who simply glared at Twilight, thumping his foot on the floor. “Angel, may I please speak to-“ Angel slammed the door in her face. “Fluttershy!” Twilight called. “Please come out!” There was silence, and then Fluttershy’s voice behind the door. “Twilight, please not now!” “Fluttershy, please? I’m sorry!” Slowly, the door opened, just a crack. The room was dark, and Twilight could just barely see Fluttershy. “What is it?” the butter colored Pegasus asked, voice wavering. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy. I really am, and I don’t know what I can do to make it better… Please, may I come in?” Fluttershy slowly moved out of the way and pulled the door open, hiding behind it. The yellow Pegasus watched the pretty purple unicorn walk in and gently shut the door behind her, brushing away a tear. The room was surprisingly dim, Twilight noticed. “Why is it so dark in here?” she asked, turning to Fluttershy. “Oh! Um… no reason, I just… I don’t feel well today.” All too familiar with this excuse, Twilight gave Fluttershy a gentle smile, “Fluttershy, it’s okay.” Fluttershy stared at her hooves. “Um, would you like anything to drink? I have… water.” “Fluttershy, I just want to talk… about last night,” Fluttershy turned red as a tomato. Twilight blushed too, thinking back on the kiss. The silence was deafening. Fluttershy continued to stare at her own hooves, the blush never fading from her cheeks. Twilight cleared her throat; “Look Fluttershy, I’m really sorry, about last night, about… about everything.” Fluttershy swallowed. “No, it’s fine. These things happen,” Twilight shook her head. “Fluttershy, this isn’t just some misunderstanding we can laugh at and forget, I want it to be but it isn’t. I’m sorry.” Fluttershy found she had a lump in her throat that refused to go down. She had butterflies in her stomach, and her heart had quickened. “You’re forgiven…” Twilight’s breath caught in her throat. Was it really over? Just like that? “No. No, you can forgive me but you still have feelings for me don’t you.” Fluttershy turned away, covering her eyes with a hoof. Twilight went over to the yellow Pegasus and hugged her tightly, “I’m sorry, Fluttershy.” Fluttershy hugged her back, sighing as she felt Twilight’s heart beating in her chest. “You smell like Rarity’s shampoo.” “What?” “Rarity’s shampoo, are you wearing some?” Twilight turned red, remembering Rarity’s earlier attempts at seduction. “I went over to Rarity’s to apologize first, but… it didn’t exactly go as planned.” Fluttershy stiffened. “Are you… alright?” “I’m fine Fluttershy, I’m just – ugh, I can’t think of a good word.” Fluttershy pulled herself away from Twilight’s grip, noticing the emotion in Twilight’s eyes. “Do you need to talk?” “I just…” Twilight sighed. “This has all happened so quickly! I don’t get it! I don’t understand it, a few cheesy pick-up-lines and everypony’s in love with me!” She sighed in frustration. “I just don’t get it! I want us all to be friends, but not like this! It’s just - why? And I can only imagine what Rainbow Dash and Applejack are going to be like.” Fluttershy lowered her eyes. “Well… um… how about… Oh, jeez…” Twilight sighed, and opened the curtains letting in some light. Fluttershy gently trotted over to her and extended a wing over the unicorns back. “Fluttershy…” “I’m sorry.” “No, I’m sorry.” “No, it was my fault, I mean... oh.” Fluttershy stumbled over her words. Twilight smiled and nuzzled Fluttershy’s side. “We’re still friends, right? I mean… hopefully this will all blow over, right?” Fluttershy hung her head. “I don’t know, but… I hope so.” Twilight suddenly pulled away from the Pegasus. “Sorry, I just…” she trailed off. Her stomach growled, and she blushed. “Oh, you poor thing,” Fluttershy said. “You must be starving, come on, I’ll make you a nice sandwich,” “No, it’s fine, I just-“ “Have you even eaten today?” “No…” “Oh, that’s simply awful,” Fluttershy flew gently behind her friend and pushed her towards the kitchen. “Well, I am kind of hungry,” Twilight blushed, rubbing the back of her head with a hoof. “Here,” Fluttershy pulled out the bread and other ingredients, and after a small scuffle with Angel (Who stole the mayo,) Fluttershy handed Twilight the sandwich. Twilight took it in her levitation, and bit into it. “Yum! Daffodil, my favorite! Thanks, Fluttershy.” Fluttershy smiled, and eyed her hooves. “Oh, it was nothing.” “Hey…” Twilight said suddenly, is… what… I feel dizzy.” “You do? Are you alright?” “No, I’m fine. I th-think… or… oh boy,” Twilight fell over like a sack of potatoes. “Twilight! Angel, did you do something to the mayo?!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I didn't mean to make it so short, I swear! It just sort of happened. Next chapter: Awkwardness, hilarity and feels ensue
Chapter Four - A Little MassageView OnlineAn Egghead's Guide to Pick-Up-LinesChapter Four - A Little MassageTwilight’s head throbbed. And her side hurt. Bright sunlight was streaming in through the window, lighting the room. “F-Fluttershy?” she grunted, opening her eyes. She was lying on something soft, a bed she realized. “Oh! Twilight, you’re awake!” Fluttershy’s face appeared above Twilight’s; her cheeks were red as a tomato. “Fluttershy - what happened?” Twilight groaned, sitting up and rubbing her aching head. “Shhh, it’s alright. You just had a nasty fall,” Twilight noticed the butter-colored Pegasus shoot Angel Bunny a look, who crossed his arms and turned his head defiantly. Twilight guessed she was in Fluttershy’s room. Well duh, she thought to herself. She turned to Fluttershy, who was lying next to her. “It’s all right,” Fluttershy assured her, “I put some ice on your head, you’ll be fine.” Fluttershy gently pushed her back down. “Don’t strain yourself though, just relax,” “Okay…” Twilight mumbled, still feeling rather dizzy. “How long was I out?” “About thirty minutes,” Twilight noticed Fluttershy was avoiding eye-contact, and was still blushing like a rose. “Are you okay?” The unicorn reached over with a hoof, but Fluttershy shied away. Twilight blinked. “…Fluttershy?” Fluttershy nuzzled Twilight’s neck. “Sorry, Twilight. I just - nothing. Please, relax, don’t hurt yourself…” Twilight brushed her damp (Was that sweat, or was it still just damp from the bath…?) mane out of her eyes and forced herself to relax. “Fluttershy, what happened? I remember eating a sandwich…” “You tripped, is all… yeah…” Fluttershy mumbled. “Really? I don’t remember even walking, but my memory feels so hazy…” “That’s normal with head bumps, you’ll be alright,” Fluttershy sighed, Twilight felt her warm breathe on her neck and felt suddenly very calm. Fluttershy extended a wing over Twilight’s back, and turned to face her, yet she kept her eyes on her hooves. “You seem… tense,” Fluttershy said quietly. “Are you alright?” “I think so, I just – ohhh,” she moaned suddenly when Fluttershy turned and started gently massaging her shoulders with her hooves. “It’s good for the muscles,” Fluttershy mumbled quietly. “That’s what Aloe and Lotus always say,” “Who?” Twilight felt a shiver run down her spine – not a bad one… “Th-the spa ponies,” Fluttershy said softly. “Um, would you like me to stop…?” “No…” Twilight sighed, this felt wonderful. Fluttershy turned so she was in a more comfortable position, both wings slightly spread. The feather-tips of one wing tickled Twilight’s nose. Suddenly, Twilight’s entire body stiffened, half-lidded eyes flying open. “Fluttershy, wait a second! You didn’t-“ “Huh... NO!” Fluttershy gasped, horrified, jumping into the air. “No, no! I didn’t do anything!” Twilight, suddenly feeling less dizzy jumped to her hooves. “Twilight, wait I’m sorry!” Fluttershy called, eyes filling with tears. Twilight jumped off the bed, suddenly feeling very dirty. “No, no! Twilight, this isn’t what you think!” “I didn’t trip, did I!” Twilight pointed an accusatory hoof at the Pegasus. “You did something to the sandwich!” “No, no! It wasn’t me, it was Angel I swear!” “Angel did it?!” Twilight… actually didn’t find that hard to believe. “Twilight!” Fluttershy landed next to Twilight, put a hoof up as though to step forward, then lowered her eyes and folded her wings. Twilight felt the gentle wind of her friends wings, and clenched her eyes shut tight. “Fluttershy, I… you didn’t…” Fluttershy shook her head furiously. “NO! No, nothing like that, I swear!” Twilight turned to look at her, and Fluttershy’s throat constricted, and she swallowed the lump in it. “Please don’t be mad at me… You’re not mad at me, are you?” “…No. I’m not mad at you, Fluttershy.” Fluttershy stepped forward to hug the unicorn, but found herself rooted to the spot. “Twilight, please forgive me.” “I already have. But…” “Yes…?” “I have to go. For now, uh… I hope… we can forget about all this. I hope… I’ll be back soon to see you, okay?” “O-okay.” Fluttershy stared at her hooves. “Twilight, we can still be friends, right?” Twilight smiled at her friend, tears clouding her vision. “Of course we can.” ~~~ “Okay. I honestly can’t say I know whether that went well or not,” Twilight said as she walked down the path towards Ponyville. She was blushing furiously, and wiped a tear out of her eye. “I think Applejack and Rainbow Dash can wait. I just want to go home for now,” she shook out her mane, her head felt better. Twilight was feeling less than enthusiastic when Pinkie Pie appeared next to her. “Hiya, Twilight!” She smiled cheerfully. “Oh. Hey Pinkie Pie.” “I sense a case of the doomy gloomys! Are you okay?” “Hey, Pinkie?” “Yeah?” “Have you ever done something where you accidentally hurt a lot of ponies inside, including yourself, and you really want to make it better but don’t know what to do, and you try to make it better but it just ends up worse or where you left off?” Pinkie seemed to pause, taking it all in. “Hmm… well, there was that one time where I thought you girls had abandoned me and didn’t like my parties and I thought you threw me a farewell party… Does that count?” Twilight blinked. “Well… I guess? But we were the ones who hurt you, and you seemed fine once we got it sorted out.” “Yeah, but I felt so bad that I’d doubted you all, that’s why I kept giving you all free snacks and lunches for like a week afterwards!” “So that’s why you did it…” “Yep!” “This is different, though,” Twilight said softly. “I think. It feels different… but it’s a different problem altogether.” Twilight had to stop walking when Pinkie wrapped a hoof around her neck. “What’s wrong, Twilight? Auntie Pinkie Pie will listen!” As glad as she was that Pinkie was so willing to help, she gently pushed her away. “Sorry Pinkie, It’s just not… I don’t know. It’s hard to explain,” “Are you sure about that?” “Yes Pinkie, thank you for being so willing to listen, though.” With that she broke into a full gallop towards Golden Oaks Library. Pinkie Pie watched her go, frowning. “Something is wrong with that pony, and Pinkie Pie is gonna find out and then make it better!” ~~~ “Twilight, where have you been?” Spike greeted her as she walked in the door, and kicked it shut with a back hoof. “…Are you okay?” “What? Oh! Yeah, I’m fine.” Suddenly, she jumped up as if she’d been startled and a broad smile crossed her face. “I’ve got it! You’ve just given me an idea!” “I did? Woah!” The little dragon cried as she tugged him up in her telekinesis and hugged him tightly. “Ah! What did I do?” “Spike, hang on!” she dropped him to the floor and galloped up the stairs. Seconds later, she was running back down, something held in her levitation. “Spike! I need you to go to Rarity’s!” “You do?” Spike perked up, and was on his feet immediately. “Yes, and take this with you!” She shoved the box she had in her magic into his chest, and he grabbed onto it. “This… This is the gift I was planning on giving her,” Spike stared at her. “Yeah… wouldn’t want you to forget now, would we?” “Well, actually I was planning on giving it to her for her birthday…” Spike smiled sheepishly. “But that’s months away,” Twilight stated, “And besides, you can get her another gift then, right?” “Yeah…” “Right then, off you go!” She gently nudged him towards the door. “And don’t tell her I’m sending you there, mkay?” “Okay, but what’s all this about?” He stared at her. She paused, searching for the right answer. “Well, you… I need some time alone…” “Uh, okay.” Spike said, still confused. Why was Twilight acting so weird? Still, not that he was complaining… he gets to go visit Rarity! ~~~ “Alright…” Twilight paced back and forth. The clopping of her hooves on the wooden floor was the only sound that could be heard in the library. “Who next, who next who next… Rainbow Dash…. No, no. I… have no idea how she’ll react. But Applejack…” Honestly, Twilight felt like she’d end up with a black eye no matter which she went to. But she was honestly dreading the thought of going to apologize to Rainbow Dash, she had no idea how the cyan mare would behave or react. “Alright then, Applejack… here I come,”
Chapter Five - Don't Forget the Whipped CreamView OnlineAn Egghead's Guide to Pick-Up-LinesChapter Five - Don't Forget the Whipped CreamToday was a clear day, not a cloud in the sky. The sun shone down upon Equestria with bright hot clarity; warming the ground, and the ponies living beneath its burning rays. On this particular afternoon Applejack was bucking apples. And bare trees. It was a good way to clear her mind; it was familiar, something to do, something that rarely needed thought; allowing her to reflect on other things. The sun glinted off of her orange coat, beads of sweat trickled down her face. Her mane was a mess, strands of hair hanging in front of her face. Powerful muscles rippled underneath her coat, and Twilight could only stare in awe as the farmpony worked. Twilight shook her head furiously; No! She wasn’t here to admire! She cleared her throat, hooking her forelegs over the fence. “Hey, Applejack!” “What in tarnation?!” Applejack was so startled she slightly missed, bucking the tree to the side. The apples shook, and then fell; completely burying her. “Oh my gosh!” Twilight cried, leaping over the fence and galloping towards her friend. She swept the apples, leaves and branches aside and pulled Applejack out. “Are you alright?” “Whu…? Oh! Yeah, I’m fine!” She rubbed the back of her head, adjusted her hat and looked up. Her emerald green eyes widened. “Oh! H-hullo, Twilight…” Twilight gave a weak smile. “Hey, um… I hope you’re not busy?” her eyes flickered towards the apples, which had missed the baskets placed around the tree – not a single apple had made it to a basket. “Oh, n-no! O’ course not! Need something, hun? I still haven’t forgotten to return that library book now, have I?” “What? No.” Twilight closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. “Applejack, you know what I’m here for, please don’t try to avoid it? Please?” Applejack shook her head, “Now Twilight, I ain’t never tried to avoid things. So… shoot.” Twilight felt a blush rise on her cheeks. “…How about an apple pie to start with?” ~~~ “That was a stupid question. I shouldn’t have said that!” Twilight followed Applejack, who was trotting ahead of her. They were on the dirt road between Ponyville and Sweet Apple acres, headed towards Ponyville. “Applejack! Don’t ignore me!” “Hey now, I ain’t ignorin’ you! I just got… I needed a moment.” She slowed, allowing Twilight to catch up. Who would have thought apple pie would be the last thing AJ wants to hear about? Twilight thought, biting her lip. “Look, Applejack, I’m really sorry. That was stupid.” Applejack glanced at her. “Don’t forget the whipped cream, now.” Twilight blinked, confused for a moment, and then when the realization hit her, a high pitched giggle escaped her lips. Applejack laughed too. Wonderful! Maybe this won’t be so hard, Twilight thought. “So, Applejack, about last night…” “I’m all ears…” Applejack said, although subconsciously her ears had flattened. Once again, Twilight took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to play with your feelings-“ “S’all right, Twilight. I ain’t mad or anythin’, I’ll get over it.” Twilight smiled weakly at her friend. They’d entered ponyville now, and she felt self-conscious that somepony might be listening, but nonetheless she felt there was no going back as they continued aimlessly walking. “You’re a good friend, you know that?” Applejack smile sheepishly, “Twilight, it’s nothin’…” She turned a sideways glance towards the lavender unicorn. The way she moved, the rhythmic beat of her hooves on the dirt ground; the way her mane was softly blowing in the breeze. Twilight caught her staring, and the orange earth pony quickly turned her head; lowering her hat onto her forehead a bit. “So, Applejack… there won’t be any… like… lingering feelings, will there? I mean, I don’t expect you to have a direct ‘yes or no’ answer or anything! But…” Twilight trailed off. The silence was extremely uncomfortable, and Twilight was glad when the murmuring of the stream interrupted it. They were near the little bridge that crossed the river in the middle of town. Applejack looked thoughtful before finally saying slowly, choosing her words carefully. “Look now, Twilight. I can’t promise anything, but I won’t let any o’ these feelings get between me and our friendship. The feelings will wear off eventually, I know they will. Feelings like these always do.” Twilight couldn’t help but smile, but said softly: “But… I don’t want you to hurt inside, or anything. I mean… I don’t know much about love, but…” “Twilight, this ain’t love, it just ain’t. I love you as a friend, but not in that way. I understand that now – that fight las’ night was stupid, and I see that.” They stopped for no reason, they were standing on the bridge. “Well,” Applejack continued, “these feelins’ ain’t love, it’s…. it’s…” Twilight’s eyes widened. “Infatuation!” “Yeah! That! It never lasts.” Twilight smiled widely, “Applejack! Oh my gosh! You’re right!” She grabbed Applejack by the shoulders, staring into her eyes and grinning widely. Applejack stared into the dark purple, sparkling eyes, that wide, cute smile… “Infatuation! It won’t last, it will pass! It really isn’t love; they just think they love me! Thank you!” She hugged the earth pony tightly. Applejack gasped; feeling like her entire skeleton was being crushed. “It’s… nothin’! Ah! Can’t… breathe….” “Oh! Sorry!” Twilight blushed, dropping Applejack who gasped for breathe. Twilight smiled sheepishly, then turned her gaze out towards the gently moving stream. Applejack followed her gaze, watching it move. Twilight closed her eyes, smiling softly. “Sometimes it takes another to make one understand…” “So… How about some apple pie?” Applejack suggested, grinning. “That sounds wonderful!” the two trotted down the bridge. Nopony noticed the bubble-gum pink hoof slip out from behind a bush and trip Applejack – Sending the earth pony face-first into the stream. “Applejack!” Twilight cried for the second time that day, diving into the water. Applejack struggled under the surface; dizzy, confused, and not quite sure yet which way was up. Twilight swam down and wrapped her forelegs around AJ’s middle, and pulled her up. Applejack gasped as she was pulled to the surface and dragged out onto the dirt and grass. She lay on her back, coughing. Several ponies trotted up, and Pinkie appeared. “Oh my gosh! Twilight, she’s suffocating! Quick, CPR!” “What? Pinkie, I’m fine!” Applejack cried indignantly between coughs. “Oh no!” Pinkie cried, “Twilight, we’re losing her! Quick, do mouth to mouth!” “What?!” Twilight blinked, but before she had time to react Pinkie placed two fore-hooves on the back of the unicorns head and forced her down. “Hey!” She cried; her lips inches from Applejack’s. “Woah, nelly!” Applejack's eyes widened, and she quickly wriggled out from under Twilight, and jumped to her hooves. “Pinkie Pie, cut that out!” Pinkie let go of Twilight and hugged Applejack tightly, nearly knocking her over. “Woah, now Pinkie, I’m fine.” “We nearly lost you!” Pinkie gasped. “Wha? No ya didn’t, I’m fine!” Applejack gently pushed the pink pony off. The few ponies who had crowded to see if Applejack was okay had wandered off now, and Pinkie grinned widely. “Oh, is that my laundry I hear? Gotta go!” and with that she was off. Applejack helped Twilight to her hooves and sighed. “That pony…I love her to death, but…” she trailed off into a chuckle. “Y’all right?” “Yes, I’m fine,” Twilight ran a hoof through her wet mane. “Thanks. But are you okay?” “I’m alright, Sugarcube.” She tapped her own chest, as if to prove that no water would be coughed up. Twilight cocked her head, watching the water run down Applejack’s wet fur. Her mane hung limp around her face, and the earth pony pulled it out of her emerald green eyes with a hoof. Her fur glistened, her Cutie-Mark seemed to glow, as did her face. “So, about that pie…” Applejack started, and Twilight was snapped out of it. “Yes! Pie, let’s have some pie! And let’s not forget the whipped cream!” the two shared a laugh and trotted off towards Sweet Apple Acres. As they went, Pinkie sighed. “That didn’t work! I’ll need to try something else…”
Chapter Six - A Sparkle of RainbowView OnlineAn Egghead's Guide to Pick-Up-LinesChapter Six - A Sparkle of RainbowRainbow Dash dipped her hoof into the rainbow water outside of her house. She looked out over Ponyville. She could see the library from here, and she forced herself to look away. “Don’t be lame,” she muttered, turning back to the water. She could see her reflection in the brightly colored liquid; changing from yellow to blue to red to purple. “Rainbow Dash?” Rainbow Dash’s stomach did a flip. It was Twilight Sparkle. “Just lay low; she won’t have to know you’re home.” Rainbow Dash huddled low, wings pressed tightly to her sides. “Rainbow Dash, the meadows on fire!” “Very funny,” Rainbow Dash shut her eyes tightly. “Rainbow Dash, I can see your tail!” “Alright alright…” Rainbow Dash sucked in a deep, deep breath. You can do this! You’re no coward, you can handle it! You aren’t Equestria’s coolest, bravest pony for nothing! “Oh but what if she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore?” she whispered to herself. “Dash?” Finally, Rainbow spread her wings and leaped off the cloud, gliding towards the ground. Twilight felt the gentle rush of wind as Rainbow landed, she couldn’t help but close her eyes – it felt so nice! “What is it?” Rainbow’s voice startled Twilight, and she opened her eyes. Rainbow's fur looked matted in places – this was normal, but Twilight was really only now noticing it. Naturally, her mane was messy – but not tangled. Strands of hair hung wild, some even sticking straight up. And her face… those big, dark pink eyes; Twilight always liked them. They were such a pretty color. “Did you need something?” Rainbow Dash repeated, sounding somewhere between irritated and emotional. “Oh!” Twilight remember. “Um… yeah, look. About last night…” “What about it?” Rainbow muttered. Twilight rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. “Look Dash, I know I played with your feelings, and I’m sorry. I know the hurt is… well, hurt. But can you ever forgive me?” Rainbow pawed at the ground once with a hoof. “Twilight, I’m not mad at you.” “Well, maybe not, but…” Twilight trailed off. “Hey, uh” Rainbow started suddenly: “Would you like to come inside? I mean, cloud walking spell, right? I mean…” Idiot, what are you doing?! Twilight smiled. “Yes, hang on,” she focused her magic, and then enchanted herself. “I’m ready, I can just teleport and-“ But before she could finish, Rainbow Dash had wrapped her hooves around the unicorn’s middle and was lifting her up. Twilight felt her hooves lift off of the ground and started to panic. “Ah!” she struggled wildly, she hadn’t expected that! And then she was dropped gently onto the fluffy doorstep. Rainbow landed next to her. “Okay – hey, are you okay?” Twilight realized she was shaking a bit, and tried to force herself to stop. “Sorry! I just – wasn’t expecting that.” She said. “Are you sure?” Rainbow Dash looked her over then lowered her eyes. “…Sorry.” She mumbled. Long awkward silence, Twilight thought over and over in her head. “So!” Rainbow said, pushing the door open and flying in. Twilight followed close behind. She’d never actually been in Rainbow’s house. The inside was less… cloudy then she’d thought. It looked pretty normal, actually. It was pretty much only the outer walls that were made of cloud. “It’s… beautiful,” Twilight said. "Huh, what?” Rainbow Dash looked at her. “Your house. It’s very nice!” “Oh! Yeah, only the best for the best, right? Ehehe…” Rainbow Dash paused. “You… sorry about carrying you up so suddenly. I'll warn next time, kay?” Twilight smiled. “It’s fine. Now, uh…” She trotted a little closer to Dash, swallowing hard. “Okay, we need to talk about last night.” Rainbow Dash turned away; “I already said, it’s nothing! Nothing at all!” Twilight winced at the force of Dash’s words. Rainbow turned back to her and Twilight didn’t make eye-contact, staring at her hooves. “You smell like Rarity’s shampoo.” Rainbow muttered. “Oh, yeah…” Twilight blushed a bit. “Ya got something on your face,” Dash said suddenly, and Twilight jumped as the cyan hoof wiped something off of the corner of her mouth. Dash sniffed the white stuff and then licked. “What’s this? Whipped cream?” Suddenly her eyes widened and she stomped a hoof down. “Oh, oh no! NO way!” “What? What?!” “I can’t believe her!” Rainbow Dash leaped into the air and made for the window, but Twilight grabbed her tail in her magic. "Rainbow, hold on! I don’t know what you think happened, but it… isn’t what you think happened!” “That prissy, no-good little!” “Rainbow Dash!” Finally Rainbow stopped, folding her wings and dropping to the ground. She turned to face Twilight. “Are you okay? Did she hurt you?” “Of course I’m fine! What could you possibly think she…. Ohhhhhh. Okay. I get it now.” A bright red blush rose to her cheeks. “Wow.” She whistled. “Hehe… awkward.” “So…” Dash started. “She didn’t…” Bright red, Twilight shook her head. “Nothing like that happened.” Rainbow sighed, and said nothing. Long awkward silence, Twilight thought again. “Hey, you uh – want something to drink? I got apple juice, orange juice…” “Yes, please. Apple juice sounds fine.” Twilight smiled sheepishly. She followed Rainbow Dash into the kitchen, and watched her pull the juice out of the fridge and pour it into two glasses. “Hey, Twilight?” “Yeah?” Rainbow slowly walked towards Twilight, and lowered her head a bit. “Have I ever told you… how pretty your eyes are?” A heated blush rose to the unicorns cheeks until she felt her head might catch fire. Finally Rainbow Dash looked up and into Twilight’s eyes, seeing her own reflection. Twilight didn’t know what to say; what to feel, she felt she couldn’t even breathe. Neither of them noticed the pink-maned ninja slide down on a rope and drop something into the glasses of juice, before climbing back up the rope. Twilight forced herself to look away. “Thanks…” she murmured, and Rainbow found herself blushing as well. “Well,” Twilight coughed, picking up her glass in her magic. She held it out towards Rainbow Dash. “To…. Good friends?” “To good friends,” Rainbow said, glad to have the subject changed. She picked up the rim of the glass in her mouth, clinked it with Twilight's and both turned their heads back, drinking. “Ahhhh,” the both said as they finished, setting the glasses down. “Thanks Rainbow,” Twilight said. She looked at Rainbow, who looked deep in thought. Twilight knew she couldn’t leave yet; she hadn’t really finished her… apology? “Rainbow?” Twilight asked, but she didn’t feel afraid anymore, or nervous. She felt quite pleasant, actually. Mellow. Happy. “Yeah?” Rainbows eyes had glazed over, and she turned to Twilight. “I… want… I… feel so…” Twilight’s world did a flip and she stumbled forward into Rainbow Dash, knocking them both onto the table. “Woah.” Rainbow said, feeling quite dizzy herself. “Rainbow…?” she said dully, she felt Rainbows feathers tickle her sides as the cyan Pegasus wrapped her wings around her. She couldn’t help but rest her head on Rainbow’s chest. She was so warm, so pleasantly warm. “I want… I need…” and then everything went black. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I changed the chapter name because it made me feel weird
Chapter Seven - The Shipping has been Doubled!View OnlineAn Egghead's Guide to Pick-Up-LinesChapter Seven - The Shipping has been Doubled!Pinkie Pie stood at the desk in her room, quill held in her mouth, rocking on her hooves. Several ideas hit her at once, and she quickly scribbled them down onto the paper, then realizing the quill was dry, she dipped it in her ink bottle and tried again. “Hmm….” She tapped her chin, and felt something brush her leg. “Not right now, Gummy! I’m in ‘thinking mode!’” The pink party pony sat back, rubbing her temples with her hooves. “Alright, the ‘mouth-to-mouth’ didn’t work… and I accidentally gave Twi and Dash a sleep medicine, not that plant I found in the Everfree! That stuff always makes ME really happy.” She picked up a baggie of some odd plant, and sniffed it blissfully. “Ahhh…” Gummy nipped at her hoof. “Oh! I get it, you’re hungry!” Pinkie gasped. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I forgot to feed you, didn’t I?” Discarding the bag, she bounced to the closet, and pulled a bag of gator food from atop a shelf. “Here you go, little guy!” she poured it into his bowl and he eagerly started munching. “Now,” she said dramatically waving a hoof above her head. “My plans must go on!” She frowned, thinking. And she thought. And thought. And she thought some more. “This won’t do!” she stomped a hoof. “My friends are hurting, and they need to be made happy again!” “I’m gonna have to be even more stealthy… and then… WAIT!” She clapped her hooves excitedly. “I’ve got it! Yes!” She pulled a party horn out of nowhere and grinned. “Things are about to get heart-warming!” ~~~ Spike anxiously knocked on the door to Carousel Boutique, the little box held behind his back. Are my spines straight? Are my scales shiny enough? I hope I don’t have bad breath! He thought, rocking on his heels. And then the door opened, revealing Rarity; and all of his worries melted away just looking into her beautiful eyes. “Oh, hello Spike, dear. Did you need something?” There was something different about her, he noticed but didn’t dwell on it. “Uh... yeah! I um…” Think Spike! “I just came to visit! Twilight’s busy, and I was just bored. Yeah.” “Oh, yes of course.” Rarity’s expression glazed over for about a split second, but then she smiled at him. “Please, do come in.” Spike couldn’t help but wonder what was making her seem different; but he just couldn’t quite put his claw on it. He stepped in and she shut the door behind him. Finally, Spike realized why she looked different. “You’re not wearing any makeup!” Rarity blushed, turning her head away. “Oh, yes… I uh… forgot, I suppose. Been busy as a bee, lately!” she gave a nervous chuckle. “I think you look amazing!” Spike said, and Rarity gave him a sideways glance. “You do?” “Yeah!” Spike replied, “I think you look great without it!” “Oh no,” Rarity waved a hoof dismissively. “I do not – I mean, I suppose I do – but it doesn’t compare to when I wear my makeup!” “I think you look really nice,” Spike said. “Like… the ‘real’ you. Not that I thought the ‘make-up’ you was fake,” he added quickly. “Thank you, Spike.” Rarity said thoughtfully, closing an eye and placing a hoof over it. She did feel better without all that eye-shadow caking her eyelids, sometimes it was nice to just wash it off and feel natural. She’d never actually thought about it this way before. “So… are you making any dresses or something? Anything I can help with?” Spike interrupted her contemplation, and she thought for a moment. Actually, this was giving her an idea… “Idea~~~” she sang, pretty much repeating what I just told you guys. “Yes, I just got the greatest idea! Come along, Spike!” Spike eagerly followed her towards her desk, and she pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil, and started sketching down. Spike waited behind her patiently, keeping quiet so as not to interrupt her. “Yes, yes.” She murmured to herself, “Perfect! Oh, I can’t believe I’ve never thought of this before!” “What is it?” Spike asked, and she smiled at him. “Oh, you’re comment gave me the most wonderful idea!” she clapped her hooves together, azure eyes twinkling. She opened her mouth to speak again, and then stopped, giving him a funny look. “What’s that behind your back?” “Oh!” Spike took a step back, holding the little box in front of him. “It’s… it’s… for you,” he handed it to her and she took it gently in her blue levitation. “Oh, how nice!” she smiled. She opened the box, and Spike averted his eyes. Would she like it? Rarity opened the box, and her eyes grew big. “Oh my, it’s… beautiful!” she gasped. ~~~ Meanwhile, at Rainbow Dash’s house… To be continued
