Just A Simple Physical.

by Kulpa

Rating: mature
Tags: Porn, Sex, Profanity, Slice of Life, Human, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Nurse Redheart
Length: 2053

Anon goes to the hospital for a physical.

Anon is pretty gullible, It doesn't take much for him to be tricked by the 'devious' Nurse Redheart that a blowjob is all that is all that's needed for a medical exam.

Meant to be Comedy with a slice of Blowjob. (please laugh, I beg you.)

The cropped cover image is by Thebrokencog (908412 on Derpi)

Published 2019-02-25 17:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-25 17:30:02 UTC

Helllloooo, Nurse!

Anonymous sat on the large exam table inside one of Ponyville Hospital's examination rooms, the white tiled floor and sterile scent telling Anon that these two things were a universal constant for any healthcare building. He'd been waiting patiently for what felt like hours, he wondered if he was ever going to be seen or if he would die from boredom or old age. He wanted to stand up, walk out of the room, and complain, but decided against that. For the first time in his entire life he used better judgment, complaining never made anything better for him the past... In reality it had only been five minutes and complaining would make him look like an ass.

He got off the table and idly walked over to the small counter filled with drawers, opening them one at a time, and looking through each of the drawers contents. Just like any curious unsupervised adult would do. He grabbed a reflex hammer from one of the drawers, loosely gripping it, he started to lightly bang it against the counter-top—pretending to drum to an imaginary beat that inside his head and enjoying the feeling of the hammer's rubbery rebound every time it smacked the countertop. Once he became bored, he put the reflex hammer away—a bit surprised he didn't drop it or break something.

Anon found the tongue depressors in the next drawer over, he plucked one out, and started sucking on it in hopes that it was grape flavored—it was cherry instead. Anon retched and gagged for a moment before tossing the wooden stick on to the floor, missing the tiny trash bin next to the doorway.

“Fucking bullshit,” he muttered, coughing a bit. “Can't even get the good flavored stick things... Cherry fucking sucks.”

Anon went back over the the table and sat down, already out of things to keep him from being bored out of his mind. He let out an aggravated groan. “Uggggh.. What's taking so long, It's just a simple physical.”

A quick triple knock came from the door, it was as if his plea had been heard by the gods themselves.

“Uhhh, come in?”

The door swung open and in strolled a cute looking, snowy-furred, and pink maned pony. A soft, warm, disarming smile glowed from her muzzle as she greeted Anon with a subtle lick of her lips and closed the door behind her. “Hello, Mister... Anonymous, is it?”

“Yup that's me.” He said with a nod.

“I'm Nurse Redheart and I'll be administering your care today.” her eyes slowly wandered to his crotch.

“It said on your paperwork that you're just here for a quick checkup, is that correct?”

Anon snapped his legs shut.“Mhmm. Uhh, y-yeah,” he said, clearly starting to get uncomfortable.

“Wonderful. Go ahead and take your pants and underwear off for me. Then we can get started... Oh and spread your legs nice and wide.” That last request asked in an oddly huskier tone.

Anon was starting to feel like something wasn't right. “Huh? Aren't you going to take my blood pressure, or listen to my heart first?”

Redheart rolled her eyes and walked up closer to Anon, looking him directly in the face.“Mister Anonymous, are you a Doctor?” she asked sweetly with a small hint of frustration.

“Uh, No.”

“Then please, just do as I ask. I know nopony likes doctor's visits. I'm trying to make this as quick and painless as possible.”

Anon gave a sheepish grin as he rubbed the back of his head with one hand. “Oh.. Sorry.” When the nurse put it like that, he kind of started to feel like a dick. He stood up and unbuckled his pants, his trousers dropping to the floor with an unceremonious 'thud'. Next, he quickly slipped off his boxer-briefs and put them in the pile where his pants resided. Sitting back on the exam table, everything hung out there for the cute little horse nurse to see.

Nurse Redheart walked up to the edge of the table where Anon was sitting and put a hoof on one of his thighs. “Spread your legs all the way, please.”

Anon hesitated for a moment before complying, still a bit uncertain as to what was going on. “Soooo, uhhh, whaaa—“ Anon's question was interrupted instantly as he watched Redheart lunge forward swiftly at his groin, engulfing his entire flaccid package into her muzzle.

Her mouth and tongue went to work, getting his length warm and wet while licking from the base to the head. The cock in her mouth was slowly becoming harder and longer as more blood rushed in, it was almost completely erect. She looked up at him, finding a look of complete horror plastered onto his face before she was rudely pushed off by his hands.

“Woah! What the fuck are you doing? I thought this was a physical, not a fucking molestation.” Anon exclaimed.

Redheart gave Anon an irked look. "Are you questioning my ability as a Healthcare Professional?" she asked.

"What? No, Maybe, I just—"

"I went to one of the best nursing programs in all of Equestria! And you think I don't know what I'm doing?” Redheart stomped one of her fore hooves in anger. “I don't know how things worked where you came from Mister Anonymous... But here, thanks to breakthroughs in medical science and magic we are able to give a full medical evaluation from just one orally retrieved semen deposit."

Anon put his hands up defensively. He knew next to nothing about this world, He'd already witnessed a bunch of stupid crazy shit in his short time here, so it wouldn't surprise him if something crazy like that was possible, especially with magic...He tried to put on the best placating expression he could. "My bad, I didn't mean to insult you or anything. It's ju—“

"Good, now just let me suck your cock and retrieve a sample for evaluation," Redheart interrupted.

Anon gasped and groaned as he watched Nurse Redheart wrap her muzzle around his semi-hard member, he felt her tongue go back to work lapping at every inch of his cock. His hands moved to Redheart's head again, this time instead of pushing her off, he ran his hands and fingers through her soft and silky mane, gently scratching her scalp and applying pressure on the back of her head as she started to hum.

He had to admit, if this was how every checkup was going to be then he'd be one hundred percent sure to never miss another doctor's appointment ever again. Redheart looked up, making eye contact with him. His cock was completely hard now, the tip of his cock just barely reaching the back of her throat. Anon was a bit disappointed that she couldn't deepthroat him, but the cute medical mare's mouth was a small patch of heaven as far as he was concerned.

Anon let out another groan as she started to bob her head in a steady rhythm, her lips tightly locked around his rod, slickly sliding up and down, creating a wonderful sucking sensation that he enjoyed greatly. Anon felt Redheart's tongue begin focusing on the head of his cock, lapping up the dollops of precum as they came out. She moaned onto his cock sending vibrations down along his entire length, jolts of pleasure cascaded through his body. He gripped her mane just a fraction tighter and grunted. “Wow.” he said, short of breath. “You're good at this.”

Once the first drop of precum hit her tongue, she was hooked. It was a salty, yet extremely satisfying taste. Her mouth was becoming increasingly wetter, watering at the thought of tasting his seed. She could only try harder to get him to release his load. She redoubled her efforts, her strong, thick tongue wrapped around his shaft and started to squeeze, she watched his eyes nearly pop out of their sockets as she started to stroke his cock with her tongue while continuing her progressively sloppier blowjob.

Anon could feel himself getting closer to the edge, the humming, slurping, and moans coming from the adorable little pony between his thighs were starting to overwhelm him. His cock throbbed in time with his heartbeat. He clenched his stomach, hoping to prolong the pleasure for just a few moments longer.

He looked down to see Redheart's adorable eyes, her face practically pleading for him to cum. It was just enough to set him off.

Anon didn't feel the need to warn his lovely medical mare since this was just a standard medical procedure. So without any fanfare Anon let out a bestial grunt. He gripped the back of her head tightly and held her muzzle down against his crotch, his head cocked back and faced the ceiling, his eyes went cross, and his toes curled down firmly to the bottom of his feet. Anon's cock let loose jet after jet of liquid love directly into Nurse Redheart's awaiting mouth and onto her tongue, a sizable load filling her muzzle.

The feeling of euphoria slowly ebbed, Anon regained his bearings once his orgasm had finished. He groaned and let go of Redheart's head, allowing her to slowly slide back and release his cock from her mouth with an audible 'pop'. Anon turned his head back down to see Redheart swishing his load back and forth from cheek to cheek inside her mouth, a visible look of pleasure expressed on her face. A few moments later, she tilted her head back and happily gulped and swallowed his semen in one go.

As hot as it was to watch someone swallow his load, Anon gave Redheart a confused look. "Uh, why did you just swallow my sperm sample?"

Redheart returned the confused look with one of her own. “Uh... Because it tastes amazing. If it didn't taste good I would of just spit it out.”

Anon cocked an eyebrow. “Didn't you need that for the lab though?”

Redheart tried to stifle her laughter, but it was no use. She let out a gut busting chuckle. “You really believed me about that 'medical evaluation from sperm' bullshit?” Her laughter stopped. “I just did this for a bet... The other nurses didn't think I could get you to let me suck your dick. Easiest one-hundred bits I've ever made.” Redheart turned to leave. “But hey, my shift ends in a couple hours, I'd love to suck your cock again... If you want I'll even let you rut me, since I kind of tricked you into letting me suck you off.”

Anon's face was beet red, still processing what the fuck had just happened to him, was he just sexually assaulted? “Uh, sure, I guess.” What kind of idiot would he be if he turned down an offer like that. “Uhh, Hey, Nurse Redheart. Quick question before you leave.” Anon said, while looking away and scratching his arm.

“Yes?”

“Do you know what herpes is?”

Redheart put a hoof to her chin and looked up to the ceiling in thought, humming for a moment before responding. “Hmmmm, Nope can't say I do. I don't even think I've ever heard of that word until just now. Why?”

“Oh, uhm, nevermind.” Anon blurted out quickly.

Redheart gave Anon a confused look before just casually shrugging, she opened the door and walked out into the hallway, turning back to say, “Oh and you might want to put your pants back on, the doctor won't be too pleased to have your junk be the first thing he sees when walking into the room.” before closing the door.

Author's Note

Good Music (Warning: It's Country)

-Just about 'on par' with hating this (Just like everything else I write.)
-The premise is probably solidly funny, execution is probably lacking.

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