The Things We Left Behind
Author's Note
This just kind of happened out of the blue. Wasn't planned. But it turned out alright in my opinion.
Prepare for sadness.
I hope this touches you.
The Things We Left Behind
Push, suck, whir, rush.
The sounds, the push, suck, whir, and rush of the ventilator was the only thing keeping him alive. The sound of liquid sloshing demonstrated that his kidneys were being kept clean. His hair, once so vibrant, was now silver gray with age. Wrinkles marred his face. Old age was never kind to any pony, but it had been fairly kind to him until the last year. He had retained his mind, his wisdom, his fierce spirit. There was nothing that had been taken from him except his youth.
But then, the day came. His wife had been away on a call to Ponyville, and he had been on his own. His daughter had moved from the palace some time ago. She had gone to Canterlot, to assist the other princesses in matters concerning the Crystal Empire as a representative. And that day, he had been at the palace. The guards were still there, keeping an eye upon him. But they didn’t fret too much. He had gone to the balcony, looking over the kingdom he had ruled for some sixty odd years. It had not changed very much in that time. Ponies were still happy. The light and love fueled the empire and all of Equestria as it always had. He had leaned over that balcony, watching the sun set over the empire.
And then, it happened. The banister keeping him up crumbled. Despite the crystal making the palace being incredibly strong, attacks over the years had weakened the structure of the balcony in particular- at least the banister because it was not as thick. And he had fallen. Down, down, down. He tried to light his horn, but his magic was weak. The guards had scrambled to try and save their fallen prince, but his lightness in weight from not eating as much or working out anymore had caused him to plummet at an alarming pace. And the guards were merely pegasi. They had no magic to assist them. When they tried to call for reinforcements from the ground, they had come. But he had brushed just past the guard trying to save him, and onto the ground. His bones, so fragile at that point, had broken. His back had broken, and his ribs were nearly crushed.
The guards had rushed him to the hospital, and sent word to his wife and daughter, as well as Princess Twilight. They had come immediately, of course. He was in surgery when they arrived, one by one. First Cadence, then Twilight, and finally Flurry Heart, all the way from Canterlot. When he had gotten out, the news was grave. The injuries were too severe. They had tried to heal the worst of it, Had removed fragments of bone and tried to reset his ribs. They had tried to heal his back, but he would be paralyzed. The leg bones had been set, to try and help them heal, but that was the least of their problems. There was severe damage to his internal organs. The doctors had attempted to repair the worst of the damage, but that point, they needed Alicorn magic. So the three princesses had tried to heal it, but even their magic combined could only do so much. They tried to heal it, but in the end it hadn’t mattered. The damage to his body had inadvertently put him into a coma. The doctors weren’t sure he would wake up.
The women had cried. They had held each other, trying to provide comfort, but it was cold. They all knew there was nothing they could say to make this better. They had grieved together, trying to find some light in the darkness. There didn’t seem to be one.
That had been a month ago. They had waited for his condition to improve, but nothing had happened. It had slowly deteriorated in time, and they couldn’t stand for it. It was time to let go. They didn’t want him to suffer anymore. They had spent time with him, each of them, saying goodbye. Twilight, Then Flurry, and finally Cadence, who was there now.
She looked at her husband. He looked so fragile and small. Nothing like the strong young stallion she had married. She looked at him, memories flashing before her eyes. Their wedding, their saving of the crystal heart, the birth of their daughter. The memories tore at her. It wasn’t fair. Her husband had aged while she and her daughter remained young. She felt anger rip through her, but it passed quickly. Anger would do her no good now. The time for that was later, when she was alone, where she couldn’t hurt anyone. She wanted her husband’s last moments to be happy ones. She had considered having her daughter there, to say goodbye, but maternal instinct decided against it. She didn’t want her to see the heart monitor flatline, have nightmares of that awful sound. She didn’t want her daughter to see them take his body away. She had considered having Twilight there, but the princess of friendship had decided to go to Canterlot after saying goodbye to her sibling, to help Celestia and Luna prepare an address to Equestria for the Prince. And it would be up to Cadence to address the empire, along with her daughter.
These were her last moments with him, and she knew she would be savoring them for the long road ahead. The road she would have to walk alone now, as a widow. It would be easier to deal with, she knew, when she made sure his last moments were good ones. She walked over to him, kissing his cheek.
“I love you, Shining Armor. I always will.” She said. Then, she lit her horn, and touched his horn. She gave him her love, in the form of her magic. And then, she lit it one more time. She filled his mind with her most treasured memories of their life together. And when the glow faded, she knew that it was time. She looked up to the doctor, and gave a nod of her head. And one by one, he turned off the machines keeping him alive. The beeping of the heart monitor came from being once in a while, to a constant, single beep. She breathed out. It was done. She kissed him one last time.
He had made a will before he passed, and stated that he wanted to donate his organs to foals, or give whatever he could to ponies who wanted to be royal guards like he had once been. Much of his internal organs had been damaged, but he could still give a few things. His liver went to a foal whose liver had failed her. His heart, miraculously undamaged through it all, went to beat on in the chest of a stallion who wanted to be a royal guard, but had a heart condition. He had fulfilled his wishes from beyond the grave.
She watched several guards carry him away after unhooking the machinery, his organs already taken the moment she decided to pull the plug today. Now, it was time for everything else to come.
Before she left, she stared at the room. The room had once been a guest room for them. Occasionally they slept in there, on nights when their bedroom felt stifling. They would sneak away like a couple of teenagers and laugh together in the bed. They would kiss and laugh and sometimes sing together, silly songs that meant nothing- just to see the other laugh. She had put him in this room in hopes that the positive memories might have some sort of impact. But they had not. And now, this room was a cruel reminder of the shortness and brevity of life. She ran a hoof down the smooth doorframe.
“No more carefree laughter… Just silence. Forever after.” She said to no one. She didn’t think she could enter this room again without smelling the sickeningly sweet smell of death. Couldn’t come in without hearing his voice along with the constant beeping of the flatline. So, she said her goodbyes to this room. The good memories, the horrific ones, the memory of hope, and the memory of pain. And for a few moments, she stood there. She took everything in. Her emotions almost overwhelmed her, but she pushed them down, not letting them surface. The time to break was later, when she was alone. Now, she had to be strong.
She backed out from the room, shut the door, and left everything behind.
She found her daughter in her room, weeping. And she came to her, wrapped a wing around her, as she cried for everything she had lost. Seeing her daughter break almost broke her too. But she knew she had to be a pillar of strength for her now. Somepony to lean on in this hard time. And when her daughter asked for some alone time, Cadence obliged before going to their- er, her- bedroom. She entered the room and sat on the bed. She looked around. So much of Shining was still here. The armor he used to wear as a royal guard hung on the walls. The old toy Brutus Force he had loved as a child, that he had hoped to pass on to a grandchild, was nestled on the shelf in a corner. Pictures of him, of them, of them and their daughter, covered the walls. She looked at them, the stages of their lives. Their first date, the night he proposed, their wedding, Flurry’s birth, her toddlerhood, her graduation from school.
Her heart ached so badly. Every part of her ached, and she was bone-crushingly tired. She laid down on the bed, covered herself up, and went to sleep. When she woke, it was dark. Night enveloped the empire, and she started to cry as everything came back. Only under the cover of darkness could she break this way. And she cried for herself, for her daughter, for her husband, for her kingdom. And then, when she could cry no more, she just went to sleep again. By morning, she had put herself together again.
She addressed her subjects, stating the sorrow they felt at their loss, and that they would hold a service for the Prince soon. She stressed the time of strength needed for all the citizens, for them to comfort each other. She ended with words that she would keep the kingdom safe despite the lack of a prince. She thanked them for their time, and left. She oversaw her royal duties, kept track of her daughter who would be home until the funeral was over, and continued on as best she could.
The day of the funeral dawned, and the day passed in a haze for her. A long line of citizens, guards, nobles, and her fellow princesses offered herself and Flurry their condolences. The service seemed to pass in a blink, although it was actually a few hours long as friends and loved ones shared memories, anecdotes, and fond words of farewell. Twilight in particular was moving with her tales of Shining Armor growing up, watching him become a guard and then a prince. She had her share of laughs, and shed many tears. Cadence tried to hold onto those memories. They gave her something to contemplate other than her sadness. The reception was after, with a banquet for everypony. She picked at her food, but tried a bit of everything to appease the eyes staring at her. And then, it was time for the burial. They buried him with kind words, and flowers. She and Flurry held to each other as they lowered the shiny casket into the ground, and they each put a flower on the casket. A rose for Cadence, a Lily for Flurry. And then, it was over.
Those next months were hard for her. Dealing with her grief in private was difficult. But she managed to find a way through. She met with the ponies who had received her husband’s organs. That had helped her immensely, to know that his life was not being wasted on the living. She heard his heart beating in the chest of a royal guard, and it soothed her, made her sleepy. Knowing that his heart was still beating gave her strength. And when she entered the bedroom that night, she was calmed. She took Brutus Force into her hooves that night, smelt Shining’s scent all over the doll. She found solace in the smell.
He would be remembered in the flowers, and the trees. He would be remembered in the sunshine in the sky, and the glint of it on armor. But most of all, he would be remembered by the things he left behind. His words, his legacy, his laughter, and most importantly, his family.
