Love can be Pink

Chapter 4: Apology

Two days passed. Twenty-eight days left to make my decision, but, I can’t seem to be able to focus on anything since my dispute with Pinkie.

I was too hard on her, all she wanted to do was become my friend and I managed to mess that up.

I felt like a fool for letting that happen. I want to apologize but will she be willing to hear it?

I doubted she would, but yet again I don’t know her so there is a chance she might listen; I don’t even care if she accepts it or not but as long as I say it I know it will count. Maybe even one day she’ll forgive me.

Why do I even care in the first place? Because she looks just like ‘her’ and you feel bad because you know she wouldn’t had wanted this.

I kept thinking to myself. Fight against myself even in disputes over Pinkie but I settled with apologizing, after all, it’s the right thing to do.

But how should I apologize? Maybe she doesn’t even want to see mea after what I said to her. I was in quite a dilemma and being hungry didn’t quite help.

I had managed to eat the little food I had bought the day of the fight so I had to go out either ways.

I thought about all my possibilities until it came down to either talking to her directly or sending her a letter.

I ended up choosing the obvious option and opted to go and visit her, as far as I knew, she also lived in that store so I guess that’s where I will be headed too first.

Let’s just hope I can manage to even get her to listen.
~
As I entered Sugarcube corner I noticed a lady standing behind the counter smiling at me, sadly I couldn’t even fake a smile right now.

“Hello, what can I help you with?” She asked me.

“Is Pinkie Pie around here?” I answered with another question, her smile disappearing.

“She is, but I don’t think she really wants to talk to anypony.” She said turning to look at the ceiling where just barely some weeping noises could be heard.

“Why would that be?” I asked even though I already knew why.

“I don’t know, she hasn’t said anything about what’s wrong. She just started like this a few days ago.” She said turning back to look at me.

“Think I could go up to her room and see if I can cheer her up?” I said with hopes of getting a positive answer.

“Sure go ahead, although I wouldn’t get my hopes up.” She said showing me to the stairs.

“I sure hope I can help.” I said before starting to walk upstairs.

“Good luck then, her room it the one at the end of the hallway to the right.” She said as I continued trotting.

I followed the source of the noise until I was standing outside her room. My heart was beating faster than ever before and I
started to become nervous of what I was even going to say.

I knocked on her door and waited a few seconds. No answer from the other side.

“Pinkie?” I called out walking into the room; I quickly caught sight of her laying in her bed, crying into her pillow.
I walked over next to her. She didn’t look at me though.

“Pinkie… Can I talk to you, please?” I asked but she didn’t respond.

“I want to apologize about the other day…” No response either.

“I really want to say I’m sorry… It’s just that I’m not used to some much kindness and especially from one pony.” She shifted around with her back no facing me, it was obvious she wasn’t going to talk to me, but that doesn’t mean I should stop with my apology.

“To be honest… The reason I’m this way, the reason I said all those nasty things is because I haven’t had an easy life.” I said sitting at the edge of her bed.

“I’ve always been isolated from social affairs because I’ve never felt safe. I’ve always seen friendships as something harmful.” I said, her being the first pony I was going to confess everything about me.

“You see Pinkie, when I was little my parents gave me to my uncaring aunt. She would just give me food but she wouldn’t play with me, she didn’t care for me and she didn’t even know I was still in school…” I said, memories of my childhood coming back to me.

“One day when I was in high school she died, not knowing what to do I decided to look for my parents and after a month of searching I found them…” I said pausing a second.

“When I found them, they weren’t exactly in the condition I was expecting. Turns out by the time I visited them they were in their deathbeds in the hospital.” I looked over to see if she was by any chance paying attention. She was still crying but she seemed to actually be listening.

“Well just before they died they told me that they wished they hadn’t left me with my aunt and how they were sorry for doing so… Their only gift to me was enough money to go to college.” I said sighing a bit.

“Well I did as they wanted and went and finished college, at this point everypony I had known had died so I resided on not establishing any friendships in school and dedicating all my time to studying, the only other pony I did talk to was my roommate but I haven’t seen him since. Well eventually I graduated, but at the ceremony I simply went, grabbed my diploma and left since there was no reason to stay for the whole event if nobody was there to see me finish something in life.” I turned around once again to check and to my favor, she had one ear perked up, interested in listening.

“But one day while walking around in Manehattan I found someone, a certain pegasus…” This is where is started to get difficult.

“For some strange reason I felt the need to get to know her, so I walked up to her and established a simple conversation and after a while I asked her if she wanted to go grab launch at one of the nearby cafés and well everything from there is the basic story. We become friends, we start hanging out more and eventually we start dating.” I didn’t turn to face her but I felt her turn around which was a good thing.

“It was truly the best moment in my life until I became ill… It started with a lot of headaches but one day I landed in the hospital since I had suffered from a seizure which after the doctor ran some tests it turned out to be a tumor…” I heard a low gasp come from behind.

“I stayed at the hospital for almost 3 months. Surprise, my girlfriend went to visit me daily for as long as she could and sometimes on the weekends she would stay all day by my side.” I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I remembered everything she did for me.

“The doctor eventually told me I was going to have surgery to get it removed and we were both excited but at the same time scared that something may happen. Finally when that day came around we were nervous about the possibilities, well mainly her but I told her that everything was going to be just fine…” All the emotions that this certain memory brings back are hard to control.

“I told her that if something happened to me… She should just move on and not hold on to the past…” I said pausing again to take a deep breath. “If only I would’ve known…”

“What happened?” I heard Pinkie asked me, seeing as she was at least speaking I should turn around and face her.

“After the operation I fell into a coma, it only lasted a month but none of the medical staff knew how long I would be out and as I told Surprise, she obeyed what I had told her and left within a few days leaving me nothing but a note in case I ever woke up…”

“What did the note say?” It was good to see that she was intrigued by this.

“It said that if I ever woke up that she would be waiting for me in Fillydelphia, she couldn’t assure me that she would be single but that she still wanted me to go to her…” I said looking down at the bed before continuing.

“Was she their?”

“No… she never even made it…When I was released from the hospital and on my way to pack my stuff to go to Fillydelphia one of her friends found me and told me that…” I said stopping trying to contain myself from crying.

“Are you okay?” She asked me.

“She told me she had an accident while on her way there and that she didn’t survive.” I started crying, Pinkie weeping lightly.

“She had been the only exception, she was the only good pony I ever met and she like all the others was met with the terrible faith of death. So ever since then I haven’t befriended anyone, I haven’t bothered too either; I simply decided to live the rest of my life alone and to one day eventually die the same way.”

“How can you even think like that?” She asked me, our eyes met as she asked me that.

“It’s just the way my life was written.” I answered bluntly.

“But that’s sad; Nopony should ever have to even think about something like that.” She said starting to cry again.

“I don’t like it either Pinkie, ever since then nopony has cared for me and I haven’t found someone to care about, somepony that matters.” I said standing up.

“But you don’t have too, you can easily change that. There are a lot of good ponies here in Ponyville that can be your friends.” She suggested while I went towards the door.

“There is only one pony I wanted as my best friend but I was too stupid and messed that up.” I said as once again we both looked into each other’s eyes, she instantly knew who I was referring too and started to cry again.

“Fade…” She muttered.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me but I hope you know me now.” I told her before leaving. She didn’t follow me but I wasn’t expecting her to do it either way.

I headed back to my house, maybe now I could get a bit of sleep but I still felt bad because I was able to see how bad of an emotional state I put her in.

“Twenty-seven days left.” I said to myself as a reminder before drifting off to sleep.