Ch. 1 - Mud-Bucking Backstabbers
Twi's Weekly Blog
Hooray ~ 100 Followers!
Wow guys. I'll admit, when I first started this blog, I never imagined reaching a hundred followers. It's a little funny to see something that started out as a simple means to vent turn into what feels like a weekly news update on my life. It's even more funny to see so many ponies taking an interest in these activities, while I'd hardly consider my life interesting.
Well then, on with the news I suppose. So this week, my friends have been on this insufferable topic that I'm "easy" when I drink. I couldn't resent that statement more.
One: I hardly ever drink.
Two: I'm never easy.
I'm not sure where this all started, but I'm fairly certain it's simply a ploy to get me to go to Pinkie's big party tomorrow night and prove that I can handle myself while under the influence. I'll be honest with you guys: I'm a lightweight. Two shots of my favorite drink, Neighgermeister, and I'm gone. Just because I'm quick to get a little tipsy, doesn't mean I'm a floozy or anything like that. I won't let just anypony under my tail. Part of me wants to head over and go through with it, another part thinks I should just stay home and catch up on a few things around the library. So I'll leave it up to you guys. I've posted a poll beneath this entry.
Readers, my weekend is in your hooves. Let me know what I should do, and I'll take your votes into great consideration.
To Go? -98%
Or Not to Go? -02%
UPDATE: Well, it's settled. I'll go. Thanks guys, and be sure to tune in next week to find out how it all went.
***
Ponies were still hanging around Sugarcube Corner well after midnight as yet another of Pinkie's infamous late-night parties came to an end. Twilight Sparkle wobbled past Pinkie Pie as she attempted to head home, a hoof over her mouth and her vision blurry.
"Hehe," Pinkie giggled. "You okay Twi?"
"Better been never!" Twilight professed drunkenly.
Rainbow Dash trotted up behind her with a devious grin. "You sure about that?"
Twilight proudly nodded. "Mm-hmmm."
Pinkie wrapped a hoof around Rainbow Dash's neck and whispered into her ear. "Maaaaaybe you should make sure she gets home alright."
"Way ahead of ya Pink. Alright TwiTwi, let's get you outta here." Rainbow placed a wing over Twilight's back for support and helped her out the door and down the street.
Twilight hung her head and accepted the help she subconsciously knew she needed. "Thanks Dash..."
"No prob."
Rainbow, still feeling a little tipsy herself, wobbled down the street clumsily, while doing her best to balance her friend's weight. As they rounded the corner, Twilight's library came into view, but looked as if it were a thousand miles away. Rainbow trudged forward and the charm of a cute mare leaning on her quickly slipped away.
The cool night air seemed to be helping Twilight to regain her bearings a little as they walked. She took a deep breath and leaned up, stretching her back. Rainbow stopped next to her and spread her wings, glad to have the weight lifted.
It was quiet, not a sound to be heard other than the chirping of a few crickets, and the rustling of leaves in the breeze.
"Hey, Twi, we're almost home now," Rainbow pointed out as she looked at the library down the road.
"Right, I see that." Twilight's face flushed a little as she looked over at her friend.
Rainbow coughed into her hoof, looking up and down Twilight's chest and legs. "So, uh... Let's get you back there then, huh?"
"Actually, I feel a bit better now. I can walk myself home from here if you'd like to be off," Twilight said, beginning to slowly trot ahead.
Rainbow watched her plot gently swaying as she walked, then forced herself to look up. "I don't mind, we're just about there anyway."
She fluttered forward to trot next to her friend once again, the thought of her slender body invading her mind. Rainbow shuddered and took an overly deep breath, her heart racing and sweat forming on her brow.
"Something on your mind, Dash?" Twilight asked, leaning over and batting her lashes with an innocent smirk as they reached the library door.
Rainbow froze, her lips moving wordlessly as she tried to force out some kind of answer. "Guh... um."
"Hehe, wanna come in?" Twilight giggled.
Rainbow nodded and nervously followed her friend through the door. Wondering whether or not it would be smart, or even morally correct, to have a one-night-stand with one of her best friends was consuming her thoughts and tearing her up inside, and the alcohol she'd consumed was trying its best to make the decision for her.
Twilight seemed not to share Rainbow's plight. She provocatively wiggled her flank and arched her back up against the couch.
Rainbow gulped and Twilight looked back, her messy mane dangling in her face. "Look Dash, let's skip the foalish games and the pointless seduction stuff. I know what you came in here for, now come get it."
Rainbow closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Alright, you can do this... You can do this. It's just Twilight, she's an egghead and a damn sexy one at that. She's your best friend, and there's nothing wrong with two friends just having fun, right? She won't get hurt, and neither will you. It's all just good fun... but then why do I feel like it's more than that?
"Are you coming?" Twilight licked the tip of her hoof and ran it down her body, finding her way between her own legs.
Rainbow gulped and looked down. "Almost..."
"Mmm, not without me I hope." The seductive purple mare rolled over onto her back and spread her legs, making a space for her friend to join her.
"Alright, I got this." Rainbow spoke aloud, shaking her head and clearing her mind.
She flipped the colorful mane out of her face and licked her lips. "So you just couldn't resist luring me in here and convincing me to rock your world. I can't say I blame you – I'd want me too if I weren't me."
Twilight giggled and winked. "I'll be perfectly honest with you. I've wanted this for a while now, but I'm usually too shy to bring it up."
"That because you've been drinking, it does stuff to your confidence or something." Rainbow offered as she climbed on top of her friend.
"Maybe I should go out drinking with you guys more often, if it leads to this." Twilight wrapped her hooves around Rainbow's back and pulled her close.
Rainbow narrowed her eyes and placed her lips on Twilight's. Her heart skipped a beat as the now tentative unicorn kissed her back, sucking at her lips and finding a hoof wrapped up in her mane. Dash's wings spread wide as she allowed her tongue to slip into the mare's mouth beneath her, then she lost control of her body, falling into a sea of passion.
Twilight parted her lips further as she ran her hooves down the pegasus' back, stopping to stroke the base of her wings. Rainbow gasped and leaned up, and the unicorn beneath her blissfully sighed.
♥♥♥
Nearly a week later, Twilight found herself once again crawling out of bed and beginning her daily routines. She brushed her teeth and showered, then made her way through the library, tidying up as she went. After ensuring all things were in order, she made her way back to her bedroom, hopped onto her computer chair, and scooted up to her desk.
Opening the browser window, she checked the internet history out of habit. Much to her disgust, it was filled with a variety of filthy things. A few site names in particular stood out to her: LustyDragonForYou.com, XXXPonies.net, LegalLoopHoles.org, along with a very odd Hoofle search: Is it illegal to use chloroform on a pony?
"Spike! How many times do I have to tell you to stay off the computer?! The internet is not a place for baby dragons!"
Disdainfully shaking her head, Twilight dismissed it and proceeded to check her own things.
Ooh, three Muzzlebook notifications. Her eyes lit up as she read through them. Oh wow, a friend request from Fluttershy? I can't believe she finally made an account. Accepted. Hehe, Pinkie liked my status... twice somehow.
"Twilight! I swear I deleted the history! I mean I swear I wasn't looking at those sites!" Spike burst into her bedroom, breathing heavily and his eyes wide.
"Look, Spike. You know better. I'll deal with you later, I have things to do right now." Twilight dismissed the little dragon, much to his relief.
"Okay, I promise it won't happen again," Spike offered as he slowly backed out of the room.
DiDing
"A message?" Twilight's eyes made their way to the bottom of the screen to see Rainbow Dash's name flashing.
Hey Twi
Twilight hadn't yet discussed the events of a few days ago with her friend, and wasn't too keen to do it in person. Perhaps this would be easier.
Hello there Dash, what's up?
Not much, you?
Oh, you know. I was just wrapping up a few loose ends around the library, then decided to check on here. Was there something you wanted to talk about?
Nah
Twilight placed a hoof on her chin and stared thoughtfully at the screen for a while. Where confidence normally failed her, she felt an unusual willingness to bring up the issue with a computer screen between her and the source of the problem.
Did you wanna talk about what happened between us last weekend?
Not much to talk about. Why? Do you wanna do it again?
The mare's purple muzzle was now turning a deep shade of red.
Wait no. I don't even think we should have done it at all in the first place. Things have felt awkward since that night, and I kind of regret it.
Twilight found it surprisingly easy to let all her thoughts flow from her hooves to her keyboard, and a great weight was suddenly lifted from her chest.
Several minutes passed by and Rainbow failed to reply. Twilight tapped her desk and nervously waited, wondering if she had hurt her friend with that last statement.
You regret being with me?
She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh.
No, it's just that I regret creating this tension between us. I haven't seen you in quite a while, and I miss my best friend.
I miss you too Twi. Can I come over?
Twilight felt chills shoot up her spine, but she didn't want to deny her friend.
Yeah sure. I'd like that, actually.
On my way then
Oh boy...
Twilight scurried to her bedroom mirror and messed up her mane, then frantically fixed it back to its normal neatness, then messed it up again. She rushed downstairs and returned a pile of books back to the bookshelf, then cleaned a mess of papers off the floor. She cringed and squeaked before galloping into the kitchen to fix up a couple drinks, catching a reflection of herself in the bathroom mirror as she trotted by.
"Spike! Help me out here. I need you to pour a couple drinks or something and make sure the kitchen looks half-way decent. Hurry, okay? She'll be here any minute now." Twilight realized her mane looked stupid messy and galloped back upstairs to fix it.
Just as the last hair fell into place, there was a knock at the front door. Twilight could hardly believe how nervous she was. She took a deep breath and felt her heart begin to race. Just the thought of Rainbow Dash being near her again was eating away at her confidence.
"Coming," she muttered, as she trotted back downstairs towards the door.
Spike had already opened it and Rainbow was stretching her wings. As Twilight made her way to the couch to greet her friend, she caught a glimpse of the kitchen. Clean dishes had been pushed into the sink, and various utensils were strewn across the floor.
"Spike! What in Equestria did you do?" Twilight shouted, anger overtaking nervousness.
"What? You said to make the kitchen look halfway decent. It looked perfect, so I messed some stuff up. Now it only looks halfway decent like you wanted." Spike shrugged and bumped Rainbow with his elbow.
Looking defeated, and fed up with Spike's sarcastic attitude, Twilight facehoofed and let her ears droop.
"Aw, come on Twi. You know you ain't gotta clean up for me." Rainbow laughed and trotted up to her.
She had intended to deliver a hug, but froze up before she could. Twilight looked up with a smirk and completed the action for her. Surprised, Rainbow felt as if this was the warmest, most enjoyable hug she'd ever received. Twilight rubbed her hoof up and down Rainbow's back, almost quivering beneath the pegasus' hot breath trailing down her neck.
"It's good to see you, Dash," she said quietly, almost whispering.
"Yeah, you too." Rainbow felt herself slowly sliding down the unicorn's body as the hug came to its natural end.
Neither wanted to separate, but each felt it was imperative not to seem desperate for the other's affections.
Twilight took a seat on the couch next to her. "So should we talk about what happened?"
Rainbow shifted uncomfortably and placed a hoof over Twilight's. "I've actually been thinking about it a lot lately. Well, I've been thinking about you a lot lately, and I was wondering if... if you would maybe want to, I dunno, maybe you'd like to... spend some more time together?"
Twilight gulped and looked her friend in the eyes. She desperately wanted to say yes, to say that she'd love to spend all of her free time with her, but somehow, she just couldn't find the strength to speak.
Rainbow smiled softly and leaned forward until their muzzles were nearly touching. She held both hooves up, interlocked them with Twilight's, and pressed forward. Their lips met and Rainbow's heart exploded.
Twilight seemed to be lost in a flowing river of bliss as she allowed her friend to lay her back onto the couch, her head resting on the cushioned arm. A hoof ran down her side, but as Rainbow's lips parted, Twilight pulled back.
"I..." She tried to form an apology, seeing the look of crushed rejection on her friend's face. "Dash..."
Rainbow Dash placed a hoof on Twilight's cheek and smiled. "It's okay, we can take things slower if you want. I didn't mean to get carried away... Is something wrong?"
With a lump in her throat, Twilight scooted back and out from underneath her friend. "I... I'm sorry Dash. I just can't..."
With shameful tears welling up, she turned away and cantered past Spike, who stood shocked with his jaw nearly on the floor, making her way up to her bedroom.
Rainbow winced at the sudden aching pain in her chest, then stood up to leave. Rejection did not sit easily with her, and she was torn between a broken heart and spiteful anger. With a deep breath, she headed to the front door and looked back at Spike.
"Hey. Don't tell anypony about this. Got it?" With that, she jumped into the air and took flight, flying back home as quickly as she could.
Twilight buried her face in her pillows and sobbed. You're such an idiot! Why would you leave her like that? Ugh! That was your chance, and you completely blew it!
She squeezed one of the pillows and closed her eyes. Part of her wanted to immediately get back online and tell Rainbow to come back, but a bigger part of her wanted to simply lay there and sulk for hours on end. Wiping her muzzle, she rolled over on her back and stared at the ceiling. I wish I had that time-scroll now... I could actually make good use of it this time...
Twilight continued staring, now allowing herself to blink while the tears trailed down her cheeks. She lay still, her mind becoming blank. Moments later, she was fast asleep, without having felt the least bit tired.
Twilight Sparkle woke early in the evening, peering outside to see the orange sky boasting a beautiful sunset. "Aw, buck me! My whole afternoon is gone... wasted!" she shouted at the empty room.
She groggily rolled out of bed and took a look in the mirror. Her eyes were still red from crying and her mane was in tangles. She scrubbed her tired face with two heavy hooves. I'm gonna have soooo much to do tomorrow now...
She drearily turned around and faced her computer desk. Might as well see who's online...
She logged on and opened her usual tabs. "Whoa! Three messages?"
Not used to having any, she was excited to see her friends finally appreciating her online persona.
From Rarity:
Ooh, Ms. Twilight Sparkle, I always knew you had a wild side. I just heard the juiciest story about you and Rainbow Dash. Tell me, is it true? I want to hear every last detail from you personally. Much love, ~Rarity. <3
"...What?!" Twilight's eyes widened as she realized what she'd just read.
From Pinkie Pie:
Twilight how could you?! I thought we agreed you were saving your first time with a mare for me! We ARE best friends after all, aren't we? Huh? AREN'T WE? HMMM?! That's it. I'm coming over there and giving you a piece of my mind!
Sent: 5:35pm
"What in the hoof... I never agreed to..." Twilight glanced over to her clock, seeing that it was well past eight o'clock. "I wonder what she ended up doing..."
From Fluttershy:
Um, hello. I just wanted to say something, and I figured this would cause you the least inconvenience, so... Anyway, I heard about what you did with Rainbow Dash, and I was just kind of under the impression that you liked me like that, but it's okay if you pick her over me. I just wanted to say that I support anything you do. I am a bit surprised that you behaved that way though. I mean, I always knew you had a wild side, like Rarity always says, but I didn't really see you as the kind of mare to beg for that sort of thing. I also find it kind of hard to believe that you'd use the phrase "buck me like a dirty little apple tree." I'm just surprised more than anything.
Well, the real reason I messaged you is um. I'm not sure how to put this, so here goes... Rainbow said she's done with you, and that I can have her sloppy seconds if I want, so well... I can buck you like a dirty little apple teree. Oops, I had a typo, but I don't know how to go back. Is there an undo button on here? Oh no, I think I've said too much. Okay well, I'll let you go now, and I meant tree... never mind, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything to begin with. But the offer is still there if you're interested. Rainbow Dash said you're pretty easy once you've had a few drinks, I don't drink, but I bought a bottle of something that Pinkie Pie recommended to loosen you up. So you're welcome to come over anytime you want and drink this. Even if it's really late, I don't mind. Just whatever works best for you.
Okay I'm going to go now. Bye. I hope to see you sooon. Oops, another typo, I didn't mean to add that extra o, I'm sorry about that. You know that I know how to spell, right? I just don't want to seem dumb in front of you, I'm sorry. Okay I'm going now.
Twilight scanned over that message several times, completely mortified by its contents. She found it hard to breathe, and her stomach churned with a combination of anger and humiliation. Her breaths became shorter and shorter until she turned and jumped face-first onto her bed. She buried her face in a pillow and screamed as hard as she could, releasing as much pent-up rage as possible. Her hooves began to flail around and smack the blankets as she let herself go.
After several moments of that, she returned to the screen to see she had several new chat messages appear. Fluttershy and Rarity seemed eager for Twilight's attention.
Hye Twi Lightning Bug Sparkler. I opend ths boddle of Neighgermeister and took some sip. At first it was like drinking fire, but now I sea wy you liek it so much. You shud come over tonite, pwetty pweety pweez.
Twilight cringed and closed the chat window.
Oh hello dear, I never see you online this late. Something... on your mind? ;)
Twilight groaned, wishing she could strangle a certain blue pegasus.
Hey Rarity, I'm just wondering what exactly Rainbow Dash has been telling everypony.
Sadly, not too much. I was hoping you'd share all the more... intimate details.
With a sigh, Twilight fought back tears of embarrassment and came up with a plan to see just how much Rainbow had shared.
Alright, just tell me everything you know and I'll fill you in on the rest.
Oooh! Well I know that after Pinkie's party last weekend, she walked you home and you were just sooo excited that you begged her to come in even though she told you sleeping with friends is a bad idea. But since you just seemed so desperate, she felt bad and couldn't leave you hanging like that. She said it would have crushed your already too fragile self-esteem, and I couldn't agree more. Rainbow really is a very considerate friend, isn't she? What I want to know is what happened after she got inside... so to speak.
What?! That's not true at all! I mean... I don't really remember everything that clearly, but I know it didn't happen like that. Look, Rainbow is lying to you all because she came over here earlier today and I rejected her. Now she's trying to exact her revenge by embarrassing me, telling lies to my friends.
... Oh, drama bomb. Wait until I tell Pinkie Pie!
Tell me what?
Pinkie? Where'd you come from?! How did you even do that?
Oh Pinkie darling, the latest is that Twilight actually rejected Rainbow Dash earlier today. That's why she's spreading all the rumors about Twilight.
What? So you mean Twilight isn't easy when she drinks?
No no, she's quite easy, we've determined that.
Oh good, because I told Fluttershy it was a sure thing if she could get her to drink.
Fluttershy STILL hasn't gotten with Twilight? Rainbow Dash said she did ages ago.
I'm not easy!
Haha, whatever you say dear ;)
Twilight angrily closed the chat windows and began updating her Muzzlebook status.
Excuse me friends. You've all been lied to by Rainbow Dash. She's oh so very saddle-sore due to the fact that earlier today I rejected her advances. In a state of crushed pride, she's trying to bring me down by convincing you all that I'm easy and begged her for sex. It's all lies, and I truly feel bad for a grown mare who'd resort to such foalish behavior.
"And posted." Twilight triumphantly crossed her hooves and eagerly awaited her notifications.
Several minutes went by and still no activity. Twilight nervously tapped the desk and leaned back, then noticed another message from Fluttershy.
Twiliiiiiiiiiiii kkkkkllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.....llllllllllllllllpppppppppppppp
She decided it would be best to go check on the silly mare. Her first time drinking, and she managed to end up drinking hard liquor alone at the edge of town. It didn't really seem like the best of situations, so being the wonderful friend she was, Twilight took it upon herself to make sure she was doing okay.
The air was crisp and cool, giving Twilight a chance to clear her mind of everything that had been happening around her. Rainbow Dash was hardly known for thinking carefully before acting, so she likely never meant for things to go this far, and she was even more likely simply acting out because of her hurt pride.
Twilight continued to rationalize, letting her anger for Rainbow Dash slip away. "I mean, really, it's not like she alone is to blame for this... I did push her away..."
There was still a wide open space in Twilight's heart for the brash blue pegasus. Before she knew it, she was at Fluttershy's door.
Knock Knock
The goofy yellow mare nearly fell through the door as she opened it.
"Oh Twi! You came! I..." She shied away and cleared her throat, then began speaking more quietly. "I'm really happy to see you."
"Right, well, I had to make sure you were okay. You are okay, yes?" Twilight inquired as she peeked into the messy cottage.
"I'm great, especially great now that you're here." Fluttershy nuzzled her friend then backed away, flipping over on her couch.
Twilight couldn't help but smile as she glanced around, when, on a shelf by the door, her favorite drink caught her eye. To her surprise, it looked full, despite Fluttershy's state.
"Uh, exactly how much did you drink Shy?"
"I just had one sip." She hiccuped and giggled.
Twilight furrowed her brow and covered her mouth with a hoof. "That's... that's just adorable."
Shaking her head, she took the bottle in an aura of magic and took a sip herself. Immediately, she detected something was wrong. She coughed a bit and stumbled backwards, awkwardly setting the bottle down on a coffee table.
"What's... oh boy..."
Her vision blurred and she began to giggle, feeling suddenly very bubbly. "ShyShy, what in South Equestria is this?!"
"P-Pie says this one's specially for you. She knew already that you wouldn't drink it a lot so she made it extra." Fluttershy swayed back and forth, watching her messy mane swing in front of her eyes like a pendulum.
Despite a growing sense of terror, Twilight couldn't help but laugh. "Wait..." Twilight covered her mouth to try and suppress her nearly hysteric laughter to no avail. "You're telling me that... Pinkie spiked the hard liquor? That's..." She burst out laughing, falling onto her plot.
"She said! Is it working Twi?" Fluttershy giggled through her mane and spread her wings.
"Wha... what'd she put in it?" Twilight asked, the room spinning and her stomach churning beneath the laughter.
Fluttershy shrugged and turned around, her head dangling upside-down over the edge of her couch. "I dunnoooo."
Twilight took in a deep breath and attempted to steady herself. The cool air flowing in through the windows was tantalizing. She greedily inhaled and took as much in as she could. Her head slowly stopped spinning and her snickering gradually subsided as the initial effects of the spike began to fade a little. All that remained was the feeling of her usual buzz after a few drinks.
"Shy, are you looking at me funny for a reason?" Twilight asked the mare, who stared at her with unfocused eyes.
Fluttershy quickly blushed and shook her head, sitting back upright on the couch. "Yeah, no. I uhm... Uh... Well you see... Remember what I said earlier?" She hoped that that would be enough to get the idea across as she buried her face in her own mane.
"Earlier, earlier... Oh, yes. I recall you telling me that you wanted to buck me like a dirty little apple tree. Is that correct?" Twilight narrowed her eyes and seductively wiggled her shoulder blades as she walked towards the cowering mare.
"... Yes?" Fluttershy squeaked, part of her wanting to run away from her quickly approaching friend.
Twilight didn't give her the chance, climbing over her and pressing her muzzle against hers. She looked straight in the pegasus' eyes, then spoke quietly, their lips nearly touching. "I think I'd like that, actually."
Fluttershy's once yellow face was now brick red as she sank into her couch's cushions.
"... Really?"
Twilight nodded, then closed her eyes as she pressed her lips forcefully against the quivering ones beneath her. Fluttershy immediately relaxed into the kiss. She arched herself into Twilight's body, wrapping her hooves around her back. The promiscuous unicorn wiggled her flank and ran her tongue up Fluttershy's ear, nipping the tip. The yellow mare's hot breath on her chest was invigorating, urging her to move faster.
Twilight leaned up and fell onto her back, spreading her legs and urging the tentative mare to join her as she bit the tip of her hoof. "You said you wanted to buck me, so do it."
Fluttershy took a deep breath and steeled her nerves. You did say that ya know... I know. Okay, just like you imagined. Do it.
♥♥♥
Birds fluttered gracefully through the sky on a beautiful sunshine-filled morning. The bright light permeated the thin curtains hanging in Fluttershy's bedroom, shining directly onto Twilight's closed eyes. With a groggy yawn, the unicorn stretched her hooves and opened her eyes to see an unfamiliar ceiling. Glancing over, she gasped.
Fluttershy was clasped tightly onto her, a gentle smile on her sweet and not-so-innocent face. Her mane and wings were heavily ruffled, and her tattered coat indicated a long night of vigorous activities. Twilight looked over at the clock, it was past eleven in the morning, and she was already well behind on her ever-growing pile of tasks and research.
Interrupting her thoughts, Fluttershy let out a high pitched yawn, then nuzzled Twilight warmly. The concerned unicorn felt an overwhelming guilt growing in her chest. Why did I let this happen?! Bucking Pinkie Pie and her stupid liquor spiking! Bucking Fluttershy and her... her bucking cuteness! Ugh!
The distraught mare planted both hooves into her eyes and stifled an angry groan. She then gently lifted Fluttershy's front hooves and slowly scooted out of her grasp. With a silent goodbye, she quietly tip-hoofed out of the room and out the front door.
Silently shutting it behind herself, a thought crossed her mind.
"Buck me... I am easy, aren't I..."
Ch. 2 - That's What She Said
Twi's Weekly Blog
I Hope You're All Happy!
Well, guess what I did last weekend. Yup, I followed your advice, landing myself in one heck of a mess. I can't blame you guys for what happened, but I'm still pretty flustered over this whole situation. Turns out everypony was right, and I'm easy when I drink. That's not the bad thing, however. You see, I think it may have been a blessing in disguise if only I had been able to respond appropriately when an opportunity presented itself.
I think I'm getting ahead of myself here. Let me start from the beginning.
Last weekend, after the party, I slept with a very close friend of mine. She's always been a pony I can trust, and she's the most loyal of friends, but after that night, everything went wrong. We stopped talking for a few days, then she messaged me online. We only talked for a little while, but then she decided to come over. We kissed, but I messed everything up. I kind of panicked and pushed her away, then things got way out of hoof from there. You see, this friend of mine is a bit egocentric at times, you could even say a little cocky or bull-headed. So when I pushed her away, it really hurt her pride, and she retaliated in a way I never would have expected.
When I woke up, all my friends had been told a terrible lie about my behavior on that night. They confronted me, already convinced what they had been told was true, asking for more details. I didn't know how to react, so I just shut them out. Not-so-coincidentally, another friend of mine who'd never had a drink before found herself drinking straight Neighermeister. So, to make sure she was alright, I headed over, using the cool night air to help clear my mind. To my surprise, one sip of what she had was enough to knock me flat on my plot, since one very irresponsible pony spiked it with some kind of narcotic. Likely a very illegal narcotic.
You can try to imagine what happened next, because I really don't remember. All I know is that I woke up this morning in a very cozy position with that friend of mine, and she may be in for a bit of heartbreak if I'm not careful. She's so fragile, and a wonderful friend. I really can't stand the thought of hurting her, but I don't know how she'll take this once I talk to her. From what I've gathered, she was quite infatuated, and that's saying the least. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't think she was very attractive, or that I've never thought about dating her before. Sadly, all I can think about is being with that same friend who put me in this awful mess in the first place. I can't stop thinking about her. Honestly, she's all I want, and despite the stress she's caused me lately, I hold no grudges, and only want her to apologize in her own way.
I don't even care that she degraded me in front of our friends, I still want her to want to be with me. If anything, the lengths she went to get back at me are an indicator of how much she cares about me and what I do. That's something, right?
I swear I'm not insane, but sometimes I wonder...
I'll be back next week to let you all know what happens from here.
Until next time,
~Twi.
"And posted."
Twilight Sparkle slouched in her office chair. She let out a deep breath and tapped her thighs, not quite sure what she should be doing. Exhaling again, she closed her eyes and tried to remember what had happened at Fluttershy's cottage the previous night. Flashes of yellow wings and feathers filled her mind, then a pink mane slowly moving down her chest and stomach. She gulped and concentrated harder, trying to get the full picture.
DiDing
A message? This early?
Hey Twi
"Rainbow Dash?!" Twilight's neck stretched as far back as possible and her eye began to twitch.
What do you want?!
Twilight angrily awaited a reply but got nothing. After what felt like an eternity, she rapidly typed out another message.
Look, I'm sorry for using assertive punctuation. What did you want to say to me?
I'm pretty mad at you for posting that status
Twilight let out a light laugh and rested her cheek on her hoof while she thought.
Are you kidding me? I was just trying to defend my name, you're the one who was telling lies to our friends! I have half a mind to take my balloon up to Cloudsdale and kick your flank!
Settle down there turbo. I don't want anypony getting hurt, meaning you. I'm sorry, alright? I just said the first thing that popped into my head when I saw our friends because I wanted to make you look bad. I know it was stupid, and I don't know what to do other than say I'm sorry.
Twilight closed her eyes and sighed. After a few moments, she allowed herself to break a small smile and let her anger go once again.
So I take it this is your way of apologizing?
... Yes, I'm sorry for what I did.
Took you long enough. I suppose there was no real harm done, so I forgive you. For future reference, please don't do that to me again. I've never felt so embarrassed in my life. You were rather harsh, surprisingly harsh in fact.
I know, I'm sorry
"Twilight! I got a letter from the Princess!" Spike came charging through the bedroom door, a scroll clasped beneath his claws.
"Really?! Again?" Twilight snatched the scroll away and opened it.
To my Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle.
I'm worried about you, Twilight. I haven't gotten a friendship report in over two weeks now, and things just feel off lately. Would you like to tell me what's going on down there in Ponyville that has you so distracted?
I hope to hear back from you soon. I miss you and wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.
~Princess Celestia
"Seriously, Celestia?" Twilight facehoofed and sat the scroll on her desk.
"What's wrong?" Spike asked, scratching his chin.
"Nothing. It's just that I sent Celestia two friendship reports via email that she apparently never got. That old mare needs to get with the times. I'll be right back, alright? I'm going to run out and buy some more parchment. Since somepony never follows my shopping lists, we're out!" Twilight glared down at the little dragon as she trotted past him.
"Jeez, I forgot, alright?" Spike placed his claws on his hips and shook his head.
"And stay off the computer!" Twilight shouted upstairs as she exited the front door.
DiDing
A sound caught Spike's attention. Climbing into Twilight's chair, he peeked at the computer screen. A message from Rainbow Dash.
Hey, is it alright if I come over?
Spike contemplated replying. "Well, she did say to stay off the computer..."
He shrugged and jumped down, heading back downstairs. Suddenly, an alluring chime sounded from outside.
"Snowcones?" Spike licked his lips and headed towards the sound.
Well I don't have anythings else to do, so I'm just gonna come on over. See ya soon.
As usual, it didn't long for the fastest flyer in all of Equestria to reach the library. She tapped on the front door, then let herself in.
"Hello?" she called out, not realizing she was alone.
Rainbow Dash frowned as she trotted through the library in search of her friend. She then glanced up the stairs and saw the light from a computer screen shining down. With a sly glance left and right, she quietly fluttered up the stairway and into Twilight's bedroom.
There was a name flashing at the bottom of the screen. Applejack had sent her a new message.
Hey there Twi, how ya doin this fine Sunday mornin?
Rainbow suppressed a squeak of devious pleasure and took a seat, cracking her joints.
Oh, hello Applejack. I'm just doing the same old stuff. You know, reading. Non-stop reading. And Princess student stuff.
Sounds... boring, if I do say so myself.
So what did you want, hmm?
Nothin! Just thinkin is all.
Whatcha thinkin about?
I heard you... you know. With Fluttershy last night.
Rainbow's heart sank and she choked up.
Oh really? Where'd you hear that?
Fluttershy told me herself this mornin. I just wanted to make sure it was true, I know how she can be sometimes. Plus I think she was hungover. Look Twi, I know what you do is your business and yours alone, but I don't wanna see that sweet little mare gettin hurt on account o the fact that you're easy when ya drink.
Psh, yeah right like Fluttershy even cares. She just wanted to get laid! Twilight's fine, get out of here AJ!
Uh... Twi? You alright? Should I come over?
No that won't be necessary!
Rainbow quickly closed the tab and cringed at the thought. With that tab closed, the blog post was all that remained.
"Hmm, Twi's Weekly Blog huh?" Rainbow rubbed her nose and skimmed over it.
As she read the end of the post, she felt her heart skip a beat. She's all I want...
Rainbow's mouth twisted in confusion. "If I'm all you want, then why'd you sleep with Fluttershy?"
Just then a noise came from downstairs. Twilight opened the front door and called for Spike, likely ready to send a letter. Rainbow jumped up, panicking. She quickly returned the chair to its original place and re-opened Muzzlebook, noting the three notifications waiting to be read. Suppressing her curiosity, Rainbow quietly made her way to the top of the stairs and peeked down.
"Spike? Where'd you go?" Twilight called out, using her magic to carry a bag into the kitchen.
Now's my chance! Rainbow dove forward, spreading her wings and flying straight down the stairs. She landed silently next to the sofa and backed up against the door.
Tap Tap
Rainbow nonchalantly rapped on the door, casually brushing her coat off.
Twilight looked back, then dropped her bag of goods, strewing an assortment of writing supplies across the kitchen floor.
"Rainbow Dash? What are... When did... Have you seen Spike?" Twilight smiled nervously, and began levitating the items back into her bag.
"Spike? No... The door was open when I showed up, but nopony was here," Rainbow explained, then leaped onto the couch.
"So, what, you're just going to relax in here like nothing ever happened?" The unicorn raised an eyebrow, as if she could hardly believe the audacity of the cocky pegasus.
"Are you saying I can't?" Rainbow stretched out across the cushions and yawned.
Twilight trotted up to her and smacked her back hooves to the floor. "No, I'm saying you shouldn't. We have a lot to talk about! We need to get our relationship, our friendship, in check, before it's too late."
Rainbow cleared her throat and frowned. "What do you mean, 'before it's too late'?"
"If you don't stop all this foalish high-school drama-queen behavior, then I'm going to be forced to stop considering you a friend." Twilight stamped a hoof, glaring down harshly.
Dash scoffed and bared her teeth. "Like you'd ever."
"I'll do whatever I feel is necessary to avoid these issues from continuing to present themselves." Twilight tilted her nose up.
"It sounds to me like you're creating plenty of issues on your own anyway. I should be the least of your problems right now." Rainbow stood up and trotted into the kitchen.
Twilight placed a hoof to her chin and thought for a moment. "... Hey, what exactly do you mean by that?!" she shouted, trotting after her friend.
"Oh, nothing. It's just that sleeping around with all your friends usually leads to problems..." She tossed an apple into the air and caught it with her teeth.
Twilight gulped and bit her bottom lip. "... And what do you mean by that?" All the anger was absent from her voice, only nervousness remaining.
Rainbow took a greedy bite from the apple, then balanced it on the tip of her hoof. "Well," she mumbled with her mouth full, spitting bits of apple onto the floor. "I heard you and Sluttershy got it on."
Twilight coughed and began beating on her chest. "What?!" she shouted, then quieted her voice, now facing the floor. "Where did you hear that?"
"Straight from the horse's mouth."
Twilight stood speechless, her eyes nervously shifting from side to side as she contemplated what to say.
Rainbow threw what was left of the apple into a nearby trashcan, then trotted past her friend towards the door. She placed a hoof on the handle and pushed it open, glancing back over her shoulder. "Do what you want, but don't say I didn't warn you."
Twilight quickly looked up and turned around. "Dash, wait!"
The pegasus was already gone, and Twilight felt familiar tears fighting their way to the surface. Turning back to the kitchen, she groaned wearily and tended to the rest of the supplies lying across the floor. The last item was a bundle of parchment. She carried it and a quill to her couch, recalling the letter she still needed to send. She dipped the quill into an inkwell resting on her coffee table, then dotted the paper in the upper left corner.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I believe you may have once again forgotten to check your email. I've shown you several times myself, and if you're still having trouble figuring it out, you can always ask your sister for help. I email her frequently and, to my surprise, she seems to be taking to the times much better than you. You're going to have to accept that the internet is here to stay, and it has swept the nation already. I believe we're entering into a new era, the era of web-communications. Everything is changing, and it's affecting our society in an inexplicable, drastic way.
Please, Princess, try to adjust – for your own sake, not just ours. You have two full friendship reports waiting in your inbox. I look forward to your replies.
"Spike! Where in the hoof are you?!"
Just then, the little purple dragon strolled in, holding a snowcone in one hand and a dirty trophy in the other. "Jeez Twi, calm down. What's got your tail in a bunch? I was just getting a snowcone, and... uh..." He placed the trophy behind his back.
She rolled her eyes and sealed the letter, then tossed it towards the Spike, who instinctively dropped his trophy and snowcone to catch it. "Well, get in here. I need you to send this letter. And clean that mess up."
The dragon's cheeks turned red and he grumbled, before huffing out a large burst of green flames that reached dangerously close to Twilight's face.
"Hey, watch it!"
"Oops, sorry..." He picked up his trophy, and felt a pang of loss pierce his heart at the sight of a delicious sparkling green snowcone lying wasted on the floor.
"Where'd you get that dirty old trophy?" Twilight inquired, resting her cheek on a hoof.
"It's not dirty! And I found it." Spike puffed his chest out.
"It certainly is dirty, and obviously not yours. Where'd you find it? Are you stealing again?" she asked, this time with more concern in her voice.
"No, I'm not stealing! I... found it in the trash behind somepony's house, okay?" Spike admitted, blushing slightly.
"Seriously?" She giggled and raised her eyebrow. "That's gross, Spike – go wash it at least."
As Spike headed to the kitchen for a towel, Twilight sat back, staring at the ceiling, the young dragon's unusual behavior creeping its way into her mind.
Spike walked into the bedroom and glanced around, ensuring he was completely alone. He moved his small bed off to one side and lifted a false panel in the floor, revealing a lever. Upon pulling the lever, a slot in the wall opened. He quickly covered his secret mechanism and headed to the opening in the wall, taking one last glance towards the bedroom door before jumping through. It was a passage that led deep underground into a secret chamber of sorts. Spike let out a small burst of fire that lit a candle on the wall, causing a chain reaction and lighting a row of more candles, illuminating a long and dark tunnel lined with bricks.
He stealthily walked down the tunnel, dragging his claw across the crumbly wall. As he approached the end, the brick tunnel began to lose its artificial structure and became more like a cave, with stalactites dripping water. He soon reached a large, dim cavern that had a few small streams trickling into it through an opening in the ceiling.
With another stream of fire, a large circle of green flames lined the cavern walls and revealed a huge heap of treasure. In the center of the pile of shiny metals and gems was a picture of a white unicorn.
Spike walked up to it and dropped the trophy on the pile, then lifted the picture, caressing it tenderly. "Does this please you?"
His eyes scoured the image for some sort of reaction, but nothing happened.
He cried out loud and slammed his fists into the pile. "Please love me Rarity!"
He began to groan, then wail. "I... NEED YOUR LOVE!"
His high-pitched, shrill voice echoed throughout the cavern, sending a swarm of bats frantically fluttering away. His eyes began to glow red, then he slammed the pile harder, staring straight into the eyes of the photograph.
"I NEED IT!" His voice was growing deep, almost demonic.
Spike growled a deep and fearsome growl as two ridges appeared on his back, jutting out and ripping through the scales, forming into wings. He began to grow exponentially, his physique taking on a muscular tone.
"IF YOU WON'T GIVE IT TO ME, I'LL TAKE IT!" Glowing green embers poured from his mouth as he snatched the photo off the pile with razor sharp claws.
He screamed out in a roaring voice, arching his back and looking to the sky through the hole in the cave's roof. "I'M COMING FOR YOU, AND I'LL DESTROY ANYPONY WHO GETS IN MY WAY! I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING AND EVERY..."
Twilight's thoughts were interrupted as a letter landed on her lap. "Here ya go. Celestia replied."
Spike walked back into the kitchen and stood on a step-stool to continue washing his trophy. "Why would anypony throw you out? You're a perfectly good trophy..." he muttered to himself, scrubbing the filth away.
Twilight took a deep breath and laughed her daydream off, unfurling the new scroll.
Are you kidding me? I'm not asking her... for anything! I can do it on my own. It's just that I like doing it this way. I don't see why we have to change our methods just because some newfangled form of communication came about. However, if you insist, then I'll try.
"Newfangled? Seriously?" Twilight rolled the letter up and set it on the table. "And I wonder what's got her crotch fur in a knot..."
She unrolled another scroll and dipped her quill yet again.
Well then, Celestia, it sounds to me like you have a bit of a friendship problem on your hooves. Maybe you can use one of my previous friendship reports to help you and Luna work out whatever it is that's getting between you. In any case, email is better because I hate to have to trouble poor Spike every time I need to send you a letter. I feel terrible for the little guy, and he deserves a break.
What's important right now is that you get back on track with Luna before somepony gets sent to the moon again. Let me know if you'd like me to come up to the palace and help you two out, I consider myself an expert on friendship at this point. I'm looking forward to your email reply this time.
"Spike! Letter!" Twilight dropped it onto the table and curled up on the couch.
The discontent dragon walked into the front room and snatched the letter off the table. "Yes ma'am..." He didn't attempt to hide the insubordination undercutting his tone.
As the last ember dissipated into the air, Twilight stood up and patted him on the head. "Good boy, Spike." Trotting upstairs, she entered her room to tend to the email she hoped to receive from her mentor.
As soon as she took a seat in her office chair, she realized something was wrong. "Spike!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.
He ran in waving his claws about. "Whoa, I swear, I didn't do anything!"
"I told you not to go on here, was that really too much to ask?" she asked, gritting her teeth as she glared down over her shoulder.
"I really didn't... Well, just for a second, but I didn't do anything at all, I promise."
Twilight's gaze sharpened, her muzzle bunching up. "Bull. You're grounded!"
"But I didn't do anything! I promised, you gotta believe me!"
"Oh, you promised, well that changes everything. Oh wait, no it doesn't. I don't give a buck about your lie-promises, you're still grounded! Now go to your room!"
"This is my room!"
"Then go lay down and be quiet!" Twilight pointed to his bed with a hoof, then gulped, recalling her daydream.
Spike grumbled and walked over to his bed, dragging his blanket off the top of his dresser. He plopped down and rolled away, leaving his cold shoulder facing the angry unicorn.
Twilight refreshed all her browser tabs and noted everything that was going on. Muzzlebook, as usual, took priority.
Three notifications... comments on my status. Why didn't I notice these before?
Status: Excuse me friends. You've all been lied to by Rainbow Dash. She's oh so very saddle-sore due to the fact that earlier today I rejected her advances. In a state of crushed pride, she's trying to bring me down by convincing you all that I'm easy and begged her for sex. It's all lies, and I truly feel bad for a grown mare who'd resort to such foalish behavior.
-Applejack says: Well you ARE easy, especially when you drink.
-Rainbow Dash says: She's such a liar, I haven't even been over there since I rocked her world last weekend.
- Pinkie Pie says: This one time, I found a gold bit on the floor in Mr. Cake's room. I tried to pick it up but I couldn't then he saw me and said that it was glued down, but if I put by nose on it long enough then it would come unglued and I could keep it! So I left my nose on it for a pretty long time, and he just stood behind me breathing really loudly and told me that it would be easier if I swayed back and forth a little. I never did get the bit, but after a while he just yelled at me to leave.
Twilight couldn't help but laugh. At first she covered her mouth to stifle a chuckle, but she couldn't contain herself. She snorted and squeaked as the giggle turned into full on laughter.
"What's so funny?" Spike leaned up and glared.
Twilight waved him down, unable to speak through her hysterical outburst. She shook her head and opened her email, hoping to have something to reply to.
"Hey, looks like Celestia's using her email again. It worked." Twilight happily announced aloud.
"Hooray." Spike bemusedly rolled his eyes.
Twilight dismissed his attitude and opened the mail. To her surprise, the email was blank and everything was written in the subject.
Dear Twilight Sparkle. I do believe this is working properly. I drafted your friendship reports and ctrl v'd them into my personal databank. I approved of them, and thank you for sending them to me with this wonderful device. Now as for the matter of my sister's friendship with me, I believe your assistance may be in order. I normally would take care of such squabbles on my own, but I can't seem to talk to her without becoming unreasonably furious almost immediately. I hope to see you soon. ~Your Princess, Celestia.
"Ha, Spike, you should come see this!" Twilight was in tears laughing.
The curious dragon hopped up without objection. His eyes scanned over the open email and his frown quickly turned to a crooked smile, barely containing his building laughter. "Control V'd them into her personal databank? What does that even mean?!"
"I don't know!"
The two shared a laugh at their Princess' expense.
"Well..." Twilight caught her breath. "It seems I'm taking a trip to Canterlot. You wanna come too?"
"You know it." Spike hopped down and began packing his things.
Twilight joined him, wondering what could possibly be driving the two royal sisters apart. "Something tells me this trip isn't going to be quite as leisurely as I'm hoping..."
