It's Hard All Over Sometimes.
It was a cold, dreary, rainy day in Ponyvile. It was the sort of day that encourages ponies to stop what they are doing and rest. Every pony in the town proper and the surrounding area was either relaxing and taking the day off, or else working on the storm.
Everyone except Pinkamina Diane Pie. She sat in front of the window, gazing at the storm clouds. Most days she would go playing in the puddles or spend time with friends but today...everyone was feeling up for alone time. Today was one of those rare days when Pinkie was a filly again when she didn't truly fit in anywhere. She loved her family so much but...their lifestyle was just not her.
"Dashie! Why can't you skip work today?" She had asked her friend that morning.
"Pinkie, this is like a super important storm. The earth and the plants and junk need water right?" Rainbow had replied.
"Yeah but...why does it have to be you? Isn't there someone else who-" Pinkie started.
"I already used up all my sick days and hanging out with one of my best friends is not an emergency." Rainbow said.
"But...I promise we can do whatever you want! We can play pranks or I can watch you fly or we can even nap together!" Pinkie said. Rainbow momentarily blushed before shaking her head and sighing.
"Look, I understand it's been a bit since we really hung out just the two of us. But I kinda need my job. And my job kinda needs me. I am the element of loyalty remember? For Queen and Clousdale and all that sh-" Rainbow said.
"I thought you were supposed to be loyal to your friends..." Pinkie said, deflating.
"Well yeah. I mean if it is really an emergency or uh...if you really need me or whatever I would tell work I can't come. But we can hang out whenever you know and a storm like this is only necessary so many times a year. I am one of the best weather coordinators in Cloudsdale...so like I said they need me." Rainbow said.
Great anger washed over Pinkie in waves. She remembered a thousand hurtful insults that she could throw at the other mare and so many that would cut her in sensitive areas. For a horrible few moments, she wanted to hurt Rainbow Dash, her best friend. She wanted her to suffer, to run away crying.
She took a second and blinked. Why would she ever think of such horrible things? She was an awful friend!
"No. It's fine Dashie. Go to work and show those ponies how to really stir up a storm!" Pinkie said with false enthusiasm.
"Oooookay. Later Pinkie." Rainbow said with a sceptical look on her face. Then she left.
Just as a storm was brewing in Ponyvile, a storm was brewing in Pinkie Pies head. Why had she thought such awful things? Why had she felt this way? Rainbow Dash had always been her best friend, ever since around the time Gilda showed up. Now...after that whole thing with Discord...things had changed between the two of them. In some ways they had gotten closer but in others, there was an odd distance. They had ceased talking about each others romantic conquests for one. Pinkie felt all sorts of weird new feelings and Rainbow Dash was often really awkward around her for no real reason.
Obviously, they were in the midst of a friendship problem! And there was only one pony in this town that could always be relied on to solve friendship problems.
"Twilight Sparkle! I can just go see Twilight Sparkle! Thanks, third person narration! Your the best!" Pinkie exclaimed as she went back to her normal cheerful self.
The pink mare headed down to Golden Oaks found Twiight alone, scribbling furiously in a book.
"What does Diamond do next? Maybe she uses her magic too...or she starts...no. Celestia help me overcome this writer's block." She muttered to herself.
"Hey Twilight! What you writing!" Pinkie practically shouter. Twilight looked like she barely avoided a heart attack and quickly hide the book with magic.
"Pinkie! What a surprise..I uh wasn't writing anything." Twilight said.
"Sure looked like it to me." Pinkie said eyes narrowing suspiciously.
"Well I uh...was just doing some boring academic work for Celestia..nothing you would be interested in." Twilight said, laughing nervously.
Pinkies eyes continued to narrow until they were two dangerous points. Then they opened wide.
"Ok! works for me! So Twilight I really need your help with something." Pinkie said.
"Yes? What is it? Now you have been using protection right? I have warned you about using protection. Even when you are with other mares. You don't have a disease do you? Or worse...are pregnant?" Twilight said. Much as she loved Pinkie, the world was not prepared for more of her running around.
"Of course not Twilight! It has nothing to do with that! Besides me a mom? I am definitely more cool aunt material, duh. No, it is about Dashie and me." Pinkie said. Twilight looked confused for a brief moment and then looked at Pinkie with deep sympathy.
"I know just how you feel Pinkie. It's rough isn't it? Here let me get you some tea." Twilight said.
"Know how I feel? But I didn't say anything yet! At least make sure to put lots of sugar and cream in it." Pinkie called out as Twilight trudged to the treehouses small kitchen.
In a couple of moments they were both seated. The atmosphere was a bit awkward with Twilight giving her friend a patient and sympathetic smile. Pinkie gave her a forced smile back, not at all sure what the unicorn was thinking. Finally, the tea was completed and after a couple minutes of quiet sipping, Twilight began to speak.
"I know this must be a confusing time for you Pinkie. Just let me say that I support you one hundred percent. Rainbow is a very special mare and quite beautiful. I understand completely." Twilight said.
"Uh...what are you talking about Twilight?" Pinkie said, her stomach was feeling really nervous all of a sudden and those strange feelings kept buzzing in her head.
"Oh Pinkie, you don't have to hide your feelings from me. I know the two of us aren't the closest in our friend group but I do care about you and I am honored that you came to me about this. Honestly, I should have seen this coming. You and her have been close for a long time and..." Twilight continued.
"Twilight? I have no clue what the heck you're talking about. I came here because me and Dashie got into an argument this morning." Pinkie said. Twilight once again looked bewildered. Then a blush spread across her cheeks and she slammed her head against the table a few times.
"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I am sorry Pinkie if that weirded you out or anything. Uh what can I do for you." She said, this time she was the one forcing the smile.
"What was that other stuff all about anyway? And why would you know how I feel?" Pinkie asked.
"That was...nothing! Nothing! I swear...just please forget about what you said and don't tell anypony else." Twilight pleaded.
"Ooookay?" Pinkie said.
"Pinkie Promise me." Twilight demanded. Pinkie acquiesced.
"Now then...ahem. Let's move onto your problem. What was the argument all about?" Twilight asked, having composed herself.
"Well...I didn't want her to go into work I guess. I wanted the two of us to hang out because...well it's been a while." Pinkie said.
"Pinkie...I don't mean to be rude but...you do know how that sounds right?" Twilight said.
"Well..yeah. I mean I just couldn't help myself. Dashie is the only one I can always count on to hang out with me whenever. I just didn't want to be alone today." Pinkie said.
"Why is that?" Twilight asked.
"I don't know...I guess I have been feeling weird lately. Ever since we defeated Discord...maybe even a little before that." Pinkie said.
"I think I know what you mean. I have been feeling weird too...I wonder..." Twilight began, sinking into thought. After a brief period of silence, she shook her head.
"But that's not important now. You wanted her to stay with you because you didn't want to be by yourself. How did she react when you told her this?" Twilight asked.
"Well, I didn't really. I just told her that it had been a while since we hung out and I wanted to." Pinkie said with downcast eyes.
"Pinkie. There was no way she would not go to work for a reason like that. Element of Loyalty remember. I bet she promised you she would hang out with you soon right?" Twilight said.
"Of course. Dashie wouldn't be Dashie if she didn't." Pinkie said.
"Then don't you think it was for the best she went? It is an important storm after all...if Rainbow Dash didn't go the storm may not be able to last as long and that could have serious environmental repercussions down the line. Ponies like AJ and Carrot Top would have a hard time with their crops in addition to all sorts
of other negative effects. You wouldn't want that right?" Twilight said, being as gentle as possible.
"Yeah but...I still feel bad. Like really Un-Pinkie like bad. Pinkie can't be Pinkie if she can't smile." She said a frown on her face.
"Pinkie I know how you must feel. But nopony expects you to be happy all the time. Everyone feels bad sometimes, even the most cheerful and optimistic of ponies." Twilight said.
"So...it's ok if I feel down?" Pinkie asked.
"Of course it is. You have every right to your feelings Pinkie. If you want you can stay here for a while, but my advice for you is to go home and relax for the day. Thinking things over in situations like this usually helps me. But if thinking doesn't help or make things worse, feel free to stop by anytime." Twilight said.
"O-ok Twilight. I'll try. S-see ya." Pinkie said with a bit of a shaky voice.
"See ya." Twilight parroted, looking at her friend with concern on her face.
As soon as she was out of the library, Pinkie let her face fall. Talking with Twilight had hardly helped at all. She still felt terrible inside. A chaotic mix of unsettling emotions were swirling inside of her. It had been a long time since the cheerful pink mare had felt so confused. Probably since around the time she got her Cutie mark.
In her anxious state it was only a matter of time before she ran into another pony. This was a pony who also had a lot on her mind.
"Sorry, Cheerilee. I'm not really feeling like Pinkie so I couldn't help knocking into you." Pinkie said.
"That's perfectly ok Pinkie. I am not feeling the best either." Cheerilie said.
"Do you feel sick like hospital sick or sick like "I think I might be going crazy" sick." Pinkie asked.
"Closer to the latter. How about we get out of the rain and talk a bit?" The teacher asked.
"Okie dokie. I know just the place!" Pinkie said.
Octavia and Vinyl's house was nearby and they were gone most every weekend. They kept their door unlocked, partially because there was no real crime in Ponyvile and partially because Vinyl actually liked the idea of people using it when they were away.
"Pretty weird to me but whatever floats her boat." The pink mare said.
"Uh...Pinkie are you talking to somebody?" She asked.
"Yeah, just the omniscient third person narrator. He's an amateur but he is doing pretty well so far." Pinkie said, nodding sagely.
"I...see." Cherlie asked, not really seeing at all.
"So what's got you down Cheerlie. I love cheering people up and you have such a cheery name and spend your time with alot of cool fillies and colts so I just have to know so that maybe I can help." Pinkie blabbed.
"I don't know...just everything I guess," Cheerlie said with a sigh. Pinkie gave her a questioning look.
"Not that I don't like my life. I love my job as a teacher and the class I have for the most part is wonderful. But my class is in it's middle years. They are...exhausting. Meanwhile, I haven't had a date in ages. You know when the last time I had a good rut? Forever. Mayor Mare is on my rump about testing. I haven't gotten a chance to visit my family for a solid year and I am pretty sure the politics of this town is going to kill me." Cheerlie said.
"Well...alot of that stuff is over my head. Pretty sure Twilight and Rarity can help you with the politics and junk. I can help you with one thing though." Pinkie said, she moved a bit closer. Cheerlie had gotten used to Pinkie invading her personal space, that seemed to be just her, Pinkie had no personal space of her own.
"Uh...what's th-hmf." Cheerlie starterd before Pinkies lips smashed against her own. Cheerlie withdrew very quickly.
"Pinkie what in Tarturus' name are you doing?" Cheerlie asked.
"Helping. You said it has been a while since you rutted with another pony. I am pretty much always in the mood for some fun, so I decided why not? It would help us both out right?" Pinkie said, desperate to do something about these feelings.
"Yeah. So I've heard." Cheerlie mumbled. Everybody knew that Pinkie Pie got around alot. "Pinkie...I am sorry but I am just not into other mares like that. I mean I experimented at university like everyone does but it just wasn't for me. Sorry." Cheerlie said gently.
"Oh...well I mean a tongue is a tongue right? You can think of some handsome stallion while I give you some love. I don't mind." Pinkie said.
"I...I do actually though Pinkie. There is a whole host of reasons that we shouldn't sleep with each other. Safety being one of them." Cheerlie said.
"Is this that STD crap again? Twilight lectures me about it a lot too. I like sex but that doesn't mean I am an idiot. I am as clean as a whistle. Ask Nurse Redheart if you need to." Pinkie said.
"No I wasn't-that wasn't-I wasn't even thinking about-Look Pinkie I mean safety as in our jobs and potentially our lives. You are associated with the Cakes and while they are lovely people the interests that represnet them in Canterlot are not. Forces are at work here Pinkie. Though that is not the main point. Mainly it is because I don't want to." Cheerlie said firmly but gently.
"Aww. You can't blame a mare for trying. You are very pretty Miss Cheerlie." Pinkie said. She blushed a little, mare or not she was not used to receiving such genuine compliments from ponies her own age.
"Thanks, Pinkie I appreciate the compliment. Now, you have heard from me, what seems to be bothering you?" Cheerlie asked, teacherly concern leaking in.
"Oh...well I had a bit of a disagreement with a friend. It had been a while since we spent alone time together so I wanted her to take the day off. She had really important things to do though so I was just being selfish." Pinkie said, deflating at the recollection of it.
"There is nothing wrong with being a little selfish from time to time Pinkie. In fact it is a good thing in the right amounts." Cheerlie said.
"R-really?" Pinkie asked.
"Yes. You spend all of your time making other ponies happy. Taking some time for yourself isn't a horrible thing, nor is asking someone to do something for you. I am sure if you tell this friend how you feel they will be glad to make it up to you." Cheerlie said.
"But...making other ponies happy is what makes me happy. Don't you think that's selfish?" Pinkie said.
"That's literally the definition of a good person, one who is happy by making others happy. Altruism...that is doing good things for others works wonders for both parties. " Cheerlie said.
"Thank you so much Cheerlie I feel a little better now. I am going to have to go though, kinda want to do something for myself." Pinkie said cheerfully and left.
"See you Pinkie." The teacher said as she gazed around Octavia and Vinyl's place. It seemed so schizophrenic, one side orderly and the other a slobish chaos. Reminded her of university. She sighed and left, though not before a little snooping.
This time Pinkie Pie was a bit more satisfied. She had finally been convinced that she wasn't bad just because she asked Rainbow to skip work. Then she noticed two very familiar faces.
"Lyyyyra! That's an absolutely terrible thing to say." Bon Bon said, seeming a bit put off.
"Come on sweetie, it's not like everypony wasn't thinking it." Her lover replied with a shrug.
"Lyra, what am I going to do with you?" Bon Bon said.
"I don't know...maybe tie me up, spank me, say I've been a bad, bad mare?" Lyra said with a smile.
"Lyra! We're in public. Other ponies can hear us." Bon Bon said, scandalized.
"Yeah, and everypony and their mother knows we're a couple. You really need to stop it with your guilt Bon Bon. There is absolutely nothing wrong with our sexuality." Lyra said.
"For Celestia's sake I know that! It's just I don't want our love life advertised in front of the whole town." Bon Bon said in an irritated town.
"There is nopony here. It's pouring ok. Nopony in their right mind would be just hanging around outside." Lyra said.
"Oh really? Then what is that? An oddly shaped bush?" Bon Bon said pointing at Pinkie.
"I said nopony in their right mind. I wasn't exactly off the mark." Lyra said.
"Lyra, that is incredibly rude. Hello Pinkie, sorry for my friend here's lack of social graces." Bon Bon said.
"Hmph, friend." Lyra said with an eye roll.
"No problem girls. I was just heading back to Sugar Cube Corner. Had alot on my mind so I had to go see Twilight." Pinkie said.
"Oh really? What did you have on your mind?" Bon Bon asked.
"Well, I sorta had a bit of an argument thing with Dashie." Pinkie said.
"Know how that goes. She go on and on nagging and fussing at you?" Lyra said.
"Lyra, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie are just friends. Now, what was the argument about?" Bon Bon asked.
"I wanted her to stay and hang out with me. It's been a while since we did something alone together." Pinkie replied.
"Tell me about it. Some days I just want to stay home and relax and Bon Bon is all like,"I have to go take care of the candy store." she has no sense of adventure." Lyra said with an affectionate shake of the head.
"I am right here you know." Bon Bon said with an equally affectionate sigh. "Are you ok now Pinkie?" She asked.
"Yeah, I am much better! Seeing you guys here today made me really happy for some reason." Pinkie said with a giggle.
"Aw. That's sweet." Bon Bon said. Lyra looked confused for a moment then smirked.
"I think you should probably talk to Rainbow Dash soon, probably after you've spent some time...thinking about what your friendship means to you. If you need to talk feel free to come to us." Lyra said, looking oddly satisfied.
"Uh...ok Lyra. See you two later." Pinkie said, slightly weirded out but still happy. There was something about the two of them together that felt...right. She had always thought the couple had been cool but recently she had started looking up to them. Which was kinda weird. Besides the Cakes and her parents she had never really seriously admired someone before. But now..she kinda wished she had something like they did.
Woah...now that was a distinctly Doubleplus UnPinkie thought. Bon Bon and Lyra were a couple in love with each other. While Pinkie had entertained mushy, romantic thoughts on occasion, she had never seriously considered a romantic relationship for her. And they were Monogamous too! The idea of confining herself to one pony for all of eternity made her shudder.
She couldn't want what they had. But maybe...she wanted something like it? Somepony she felt deep feelings for, living with and spending time together. Something stable in the chaos of her life. She supposed that did sound nice.
Pinkie spent the rest of the day in her room. The Cakes on their part mostly left her alone. The party pony had alot to ponder. What were these weird feelings? Whenever she thought about Rainbow Dash she felt...frustrated maybe? And worried? Definitely worried...but also really, really happy and a bit sad all at once. What could that even mean? Maybe she should have asked Twilight about it but...even the idea of voicing those feelings out loud made her scared.
Later that night she heard a knock at the door. The Cakes had closed not that long ago and were currently in bed for as long as their infant children would allow them to sleep. Pinkie correctly assumed that meant it must be for her. Creeping down the stairs and opening the door revealed the source of all this tension.
"Dashie!" Pinkie said as she hugged the cyan coated mare at her door. She felt a tingle throughout her entire body.
"Hey Pinkie. What's up?" Rainbow said, in an attempt at casualness.
"Nothing much. Today was pretty weird. Like absolutely nothing happened." Pinkie said.
"Ha. Guess that is weird around here. Anyway I am sorry about the whole thing this morning." She said.
"You don't have anything to apologize for. It's me who should...I should have understood how important your job was. I'm sorry." Pinkie said.
"Well I was thinking...since I am off of work tomorrow we could hang out tonight, just the two of us." Rainbow said.
"That sounds amazing! But I am actually pretty tired...maybe we could hang out tomorrow." Pinkie said, while it was true that she did feel tired she didn't know why she said that. Usually, she would have accepted right away.
"Even better. That way we don't have to worry about waking everypony up. See you then Pinkie." Rainbow said.
"Ok see ya. Hey...wait Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie called out.
"Yeah?" The rainbow maned pegasus said, turning around.
"I wanted to say...your friendship is super important to me." Pinkie said. Rainbow grinned.
"Right back at ya buddy."
