So yeah, we now had a school play to rehearse for. Fun. And to make matters worse, it was the tale of Reginald the Sly, an old folk tale about how an outlaw bumped off not only the King, but his entire court in a number of ways. An odd choice for a school group, but Cheerilee had her reasons, I suppose.

Myself and Diamond had been given the role of diplomats to the King. My character was called Silver Tongue, and seemed to be something of an opportunist. In comparison, Apple Bloom had got the part of the King, which had most of us snorting given her accent, which sounded totally out of place for a King.

One day, we were rehearsing the opening scene yet again. Despite the fact we had run it at least a hundred times, Cheerilee insisted we keep running the scene for luck. Apple Bloom started us off.

“All of this is meaningless. We still have to put a stop to this Reginald the Sly, and ah don’t care who does it, or how,” she began, her voice starting to slide away from firm regal tones to the farm filly she really was. It was incredibly difficult not to laugh, so in order to not laugh, I immediately responded with my line in the script. What did amaze me was how Cheerilee had managed to write the entire thing in one night. That must have required a LOT of coffee. Or failing that, the stock of booze which most of us suspected she had, but had never been able to locate.

“But my king, I maintain that violence is not the answer,” I started, trying to maintain a level tone and a vaguely important sounding voice. “If you would just let your royal advisor and I work on a diplomatic solution, then I am sure that-” Something clearly wasn’t right, as Apple Bloom didn’t respond. She was meant to interrupt me at that point, so I repeated the line. “If you would just let your royal advisor and I work on a diplomatic solution, then I am sure that-”

“Apple Bloom, you missed your cue!” Cheerilee called. “You’re supposed to respond with, ‘No! Do you think ah know not what goes on when ah have my back turned? The two of you will stay right here. Sir Lance-a-lot the Brave, Ah entrust this task to you. Find this villain and bring him back here, so he may face my judgement.’ Shall we run the scene again?”

“Yes, miss Cheerilee!” Apple Bloom replied, flustered. “Sorry miss Cheerilee!” She then started the scene again, slamming her hoof down on the table between us. In the finished play, we would be seated at a round table, but that was currently under assembly at the Ponyville Theatre, so a plain square table would have to do for now.

“All of this is meaningless. We still have to put a stop to this Reginald the Sly, and ah don’t care who does it, or how,” she ran again, in the exact same tone as before.

“But my king, I maintain that violence is not the answer. If you would just let your royal advisor and I work on a diplomatic solution, then I am sure that-”

“No!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, this time coming in correctly and on time. Do you think ah know not what goes on when ah have my back turned? The two of you will stay right here. Sir Lance-a-lot the Brave, Ah entrust this task to you. Find this villain and bring him back here, so he may face my judgement!”

Scootaloo then responded. “Just leave it to me; I’ll bring him back kicking and screaming!” In the distance I could see Cheerilee shaking her head. Scootaloo had been persistently getting the line wrong for weeks; she was meant to say ‘I shall bring him to justice!’.

“OK, that’s enough for today,” Cheerilee said. “Full dress rehearsal is tomorrow, so make sure to study the script tonight and be ready for tomorrow.” She smiled, and then left the room.

Another oddity. She seemed oddly pleased these last few weeks, which was completely at odds with how she had behaved previously. Do adult mares simply have mood swings like this? I couldn’t afford to rule anything out.

“What’s a dress rehearsal?” Scootaloo asked, interrupting my train of thought.

“It’s where we all wear dresses!” Diamond Tiara, replying in a sarcastic tone. “Even the colts!”

“Really?” asked a colt, Button Mash, at the back, momentarily taking his eyes off his JoyBoy.

“That was sarcasm,” Diamond replied. “Come on Silver, let’s not waste any more time with these ‘blank flanks’!”

That afternoon, we went to Sugarcube Corner for some milkshakes. Apart from some screaming in the background from that idiot colt Button Mash, who had decided to try and drink his entire milkshake in one go to impress the airhead Sweetie Belle, the scene was fairly quiet. I decided to raise my concerns with Diamond Tiara.

“Di,” I asked, trying to introduce the topic as naturally as I could. “Have you noticed anything odd about miss Cheerilee?”

“Silver,” she replied, “you’ve been at this for weeks. There is nothing wrong with miss Cheerilee. She’s just stressed about the play.”

“But she was like this before the play!” I protested. “Remember how angry she was that day when the Crusaders were discussing the moon?”

“Probably because they had driven her mad,” Diamond responded coldly. “There is nothing to worry about.”

“But-” I tried to get a word in, but Diamond Tiara interrupted my interruption.

“Let. It. Go.” The hostility in Diamond’s voice stunned me, and so I decided to try and puzzle out the matter in my own head, relying on my own thoughts and evidence to try and figure out what was going on.

Let us see, I thought to myself. Before Hearts and Hooves day she seemed completely normal. True, she got cross when the note passing business occurred, but that’s to be expected. It is against rules, after all.

Wait...Hearts and Hooves Day. What happened that day? My mind flashed back as I recalled that truly chaotic day.

I wandered around the park as I tried to avoid the Celestia-awful singing of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who it seemed were obsessed with getting Cheerilee a ‘very special somepony’. Really, you can’t force romance! It took my parents long enough, but it clearly worked!

Later that day, I had noticed that Cheerilee was being herded through the streets by Sweetie Belle, indicating that (as usual) their plans had gone wrong. Seriously, those three caused untold chaos!

But then I had seen Big Mac dragging a house, and falling into a pit...

Wait a moment!

“I’ve got it!” I cried, out loud. I only realised this a moment later, and looked around.

“Got what?” Diamond asked, irritably.

“The answer to this crossword!” I answered, producing a newspaper as I did so. I had the answer at last.

Maybe Cheerilee banged her head when she fell into the pit! That would explain the abrupt change in personality, and the entire ‘breaking everything’ incident I overheard.

I knew I had to investigate this. And what better place to go than the horse’s mouth-sorry, the pony’s mouth-itself.

The dress rehearsal went smoothly, even though Scootaloo still got her lines wrong and the key special effect of the play, the falling sun, failed to function correctly, although Snails would be unlikely to know whether it had worked or not. He really was that dumb. Once proceedings had concluded, I went over to Cheerilee.

“Miss Cheerilee?” I asked.

“Yes, Silver Spoon?” she asked in return, warmth and charm in her voice, but even so there was something hollow to her tone, furthering my suspicions.

“I’m having a bit of trouble with some homework,” I answered. This was a lie, but I had to try and find out what was going on. “Could you help me with it?”

“Sure!” she replied. “I’ll just lock up here, and then we’ll head over to my home.”

I had no idea what horrors were due for me.

Author's Note

It ramps us...